Purpose, not Pity: After the Impact

In this deeply reflective episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika explores the quiet, often unspoken emotional space that many people find themselves in during the holidays after loss, heartbreak, or major life change.

Not the kind of grief that demands attention.
Not the kind of healing that looks inspirational.
But the kind that shows up as restraint, reflection, and not knowing how to explain what you feel.

Erika opens up abou...

In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika reflects on a recent real-life moment that revealed how much she’s changed, not through what she did, but through what she no longer felt the need to carry. Through honest storytelling and reflection, she explores the difference between accountability and emotional labor, and how healing teaches us to stop absorbing blame, guilt, and anxiety that don’t belong to us.

If you’ve ever felt res...

In this deeply personal and unexpected episode, Erika shares the moment that stopped her in her tracks, a simple family photo on Facebook that opened a door to a truth she never fully acknowledged until now.

What begins as an ordinary dinner with a friend turns into a powerful reflection on marriage, pressure, parenthood, old wounds, and the kind of healing that reveals itself years later. Erika opens up about the choices she made a...

This episode explores the possibility that not all hardship is punishment, some of it is preparation. Inspired by a conversation on Angie Martinez IRL with Joe Budden reflecting on Kobe Bryant, Erika asks a powerful question:

What if everything you survived didn’t shape you for pain…
 but for purpose, peace, and blessings you haven’t met yet?

We talk about becoming emotionally ready for the life we w...

A FaceTime call from my bonus son, Malachi, flipped my whole day. What started as a normal check-in turned into him admitting something he never says out loud… that since my son Jovan passed, he hasn’t been able to find that kind of connection again. And he feels lonely.

In this bonus episode, I’m sharing the real, unfiltered moment grief showed up out of nowhere and shifted everything. This is about the loneliness we don’t talk abo...

Most people expect anger after loss to look loud and obvious. But what if your anger is quiet? What if it lives in your body, in long silences, in questions you can’t say out loud?

In this “halfway” episode of Purpose, Not Pity (Episode 7), Erika Hernandez dives into the anger that doesn’t look like anger. She talks about the invisible rage after losing a child, being angry at God, herself, the justice system, and even the pers...

When life doesn’t go as planned, it’s not just your dreams that disappear,  it’s the version of yourself you thought you’d always be.

In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika Hernandez shares what it feels like to stand in the wreckage of the life you once imagined and realize nothing looks the way you thought it would. From divorce and career setbacks to infertility, addiction, and loss, this episode is about what happens when t...

When life breaks you open through loss, heartbreak, or tragedy, it is not just the person you lose. It is the friendships you thought would last forever. Some friends vanish. Some go silent. And sometimes, it is you who has to walk away.

In this raw episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika Hernandez shares what nobody talks about: the disappointment of friends who never show up, the shock of realizing who actually stays, and the loneline...

What happens when grief collides with your menstrual cycle? In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika opens up about a deeply personal experience: a week of nonstop tears that felt like a setback in her healing journey, until she realized her period had arrived.

Grief already weighs heavy, but hormonal shifts during PMS and perimenopause can amplify sadness, irritability, fatigue, and brain fog. Erika shares how living with rheuma...

On the second anniversary of my son Jovan’s passing, I’m opening this podcast with something deeply personal, a letter to him.

This isn’t a story told from a place of healing already found, but from the middle of it. In this episode, I take you back to the hours before he left, the silence that followed, the anger I carried, and the truth I finally allowed myself to say out loud.

You’ll hear about grief, yes. But also what it means t...

Who were you before your heartbreak? Before the divorce, the loss, the diagnosis, the friendship that ended, the dream that slipped away?

In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, I open up about the version of me that existed before September 2nd, 2023, before I lost my son. I share what my mom, my sister, and my childhood friend remember about me, and how loss forced me to confront the truth: we are never the same after heartbreak.

But...

What does it really mean to live again after loss?

In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, I open up about the reality of rebuilding after Jovan’s passing, not in the big, dramatic moments, but in the daily ones. The first time I had to drive a car without him. The first time I showed up to work after crying in the parking lot. The first time I cooked, cleaned, or shopped for one less person.

We’ll talk about the pressure people put on...

What do you do when life breaks you open, and nothing looks like you imagined?

Welcome to Purpose, Not Pity, a podcast for anyone who’s walked through loss, pain, or transformation and is learning to live with intention on the other side.

I’m Erika Hernandez, storyteller, bonus mom, grieving mother, healing human, and in this space, we’re choosing truth over polish, presence over perfection, and purpose over pity.

This short trailer w...