Why is money so emotional? How to identify spending patterns as a business owner

If your relationship with money had a theme song, what would it be?

In this episode, Denzil reflects on her conversation with financial therapist Aseel El-Baba, who helps health and wellness pactitioners explore the emotional patterns behind their money habits, like avoidance, over-spending, and everything in between.

Denzil shares:

• Why we sometimes confuse spending with investing, like upgrading our clinic space or buying tools we don’t really need
• How avoiding money conversations (with clients, co-owners, or ourselves) can actually increase anxiety
• The emotional weight that comes with dipping into savings, even when it makes perfect sense
• A simple decision-making filter to bring more intention (and less stress) to bother personal and practice-related money choices
  
  
  

It’s a thoughtful listen for any practitioner or clinic owner who wants to feel more in control (and less alone) in their relationship with money.

Have a theme song in mind? We’d love to hear it! Send us a note at [e-mail].

And if you’re looking for even more reflections from Denzil, go ahead and subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
If you had to describe your relationship with
money in a song title, whatwould you choose?
Mine would be Casual by ChapelRome.
I think me and money have apretty casual relationship.
I care about it, sure, but I'mway more interested in my people
.
But I've also met people whowould say their song is Mo'
Money, mo' Problems, or I Need adollar, or maybe even rich girl

(00:25):
.
That fun and deceptively deepquestion came from my
conversation with a financialtherapist named Asil El Baba on
a recent episode of Radio FrontDesk.
It's actually one of the waysshe helps people crack open
their relationship with moneyand, yes, we all have one.
Basile shared a story with meabout an executive.

(00:47):
He was brilliant with numbers,leading a multi-million dollar
company, but behind the sceneshis personal finances were
unraveling.
When she dug into his childhood, she uncovered some trauma that
was causing him to overcorrectand overspend again and again.
And that's the thing aboutmoney stories.

(01:08):
They're usually pattern-basedand they're rarely just about
money, but I think the more youunderstand, the better equipped
you are.
So I wanted to share a fewpatterns when it comes to money
that I picked up from my chatwith Aseel and from my own
experience.
Pattern number one, mistakingspending for investing.

(01:29):
You've probably seen thismarketing move before.
It's not just a beauty product,it's an investment in your
future.
Maybe you've even fallen for itonce or twice.
Hey, there's no shame in that.
Sometimes just spending istotally fine.
But it can slip into anunhealthy pattern when we start
rationalizing every purchase asan investment.

(01:51):
I knew someone who used toconstantly upgrade his clinic
setup New tech, new equipment,new furniture every six months.
He saw it as an investment inproductivity.
But in reality it was meetingan emotional need, that sense of
control and staying ahead.
So here's the question to askbefore you spend, is there

(02:14):
actually a return on this?
Pattern?
Number two avoiding theconversation altogether.
This one hits home.
Aseel said a lot of her clientsshow up too nervous to even talk
about money.
And I get it.
I've been there.
I'll be honest.
There are times when I catchmyself avoiding money stuff
altogether.

(02:34):
I'll convince myself I'm toobusy to look at the numbers or
that I'll just deal with it nextweek.
But I've learned that everytime I finally sit down, open
the spreadsheet and actually dothe money thing, it's never as
bad as I feared.
The anxiety shrinks.
The problem is rarely as big orcomplicated as it felt in my

(02:55):
head and maybe more importantly,I walk away proud.
That small act of just facingthe thing I was avoiding shifts
everything.
Pattern number three lettingemotions drive decisions.
It's actually really hard totake emotions out of money

(03:16):
decisions, especially whenyou're running a clinic and your
choices impact your business.
Aseel shared a story about aclient who was facing a
year-long income gap.
Every month she had to dip intoher savings to cover a
predictable shortfall and, eventhough the math made perfect
sense, every withdrawal made herfeel like she was failing.

(03:37):
And how relatable is that?
You feel like if you need totouch your savings, you've done
something wrong.
But Aseel's position on this isthat this is to touch your
savings.
You've done something wrong.
But a CEO's position on this isthat this is exactly what your
savings are for, not just forthose last resort emergencies,
but for support.
Too often, emotional resistancekicks in, not because we're

(03:58):
making the wrong financial move,but because we haven't reframed
the story we're tellingourselves about it.
It's important to remember thatthese are all patterns, and the
good news is that patterns canbe broken.
One thing a SEAL recommends tohelp is to filter your financial
decisions through a series ofquestions, a decision tree.

(04:18):
Before making a financialdecision, big or small, ask
yourself a few things.
Is this aligned with my values?
If yes, which one?
Is it within my budget?
What emotion is driving this?
Is there a real need here, andcan I meet that need without
spending money?
I started asking myself thesequestions too and honestly, it

(04:43):
slowed me down in the best way.
I think of it as financialmindfulness.
So now I'll ask you what's yourfinancial song title?
Feel free to send me an emailat frontdesk at janeapp with
some ideas.
That's all for me this week.
Thanks again for listening.
You got this.