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May 29, 2025 12 mins

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the complexities of anger, emphasizing that it is not the emotion itself that is problematic, but rather how we respond to it. 

She shares personal anecdotes and practical tools for managing anger, particularly through the lens of occupational therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). 

The conversation explores the importance of emotional regulation, the impact of stress on relationships, and strategies for navigating anger in parenting and interpersonal dynamics.

Takeaways from the epsiode:

Anger is a natural emotion, not a moral failing.
Uncontrollable anger stems from emotion regulation issues.
You can create space between feeling angry and reacting.
Labeling your feelings can help manage emotional responses.
"Dropping the rope" in a mental tug-of-war can reduce conflict.
Anchoring yourself in values guides your actions during anger.
De-fusion techniques help avoid getting tangled in angry thoughts.
Meeting your basic needs can prevent emotional outbursts.
Curiosity about your feelings can lead to better understanding.
Calm boundaries are more effective than explosive reactions.


Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch -- email us at realoveridealpod@gmail.com


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