Co-Parenting: Empowering Kids to Have a Say in Time Splitting

Parenting Tips: Empowering Kids in Time Sharing Decisions

In this episode of Rollin' with the Dolans, Patrick and Tamekia Dolan dive into the dynamics of blended families and co-parenting. They share personal stories and offer thoughtful perspectives on when children from previous relationships should have a voice in deciding how they split their time between homes. The discussion explores their own experiences growing up in divorced families, practical tips for co-parenting, and a fun trip down memory lane as they reminisce about their first cars. Join them for heartfelt advice, relatable stories, and insights on empowering kids in time-sharing decisions.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Welcome to Rollin' with the Dolans
00:23 - Today's Topic: Parenting in Blended Families
00:53 - Personal Experiences with Time Sharing
02:35 - The Role of Driving in Time Sharing
05:36 - Final Thoughts on Time Sharing
07:51 - Wrapping Up and Closing Remarks

#coparenting #rollinwiththedolans #blendingfamilies #blendedfamilies #happilymarried #marriage

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Episode Transcript

Line (USB AUDIO CODEC) (00:02):
Welcome to Rolling with the Dolans.
I'm Patrick Dolan and I'm TamekaDolan.
Our podcast focuses on the joysand challenges of blended
families, our interracialmarriage, parenting children of
multiple ages, and the journeyof entrepreneurship.
We share our daily lifeexperiences with a positive but
real perspective.

(00:23):
Okay, and today's topic isfocused on parenting.
And specifically what we want toget into is, given that we have,
uh, kids from multiple parents,when is a good time for them to
have more, uh, decision makingauthority on splitting their
time?
Yes, time sharing, right?

(00:45):
Is that a word?
Yep.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
You want to start or you want meto start?
I'd love to hear what you haveto think about this topic.
So Fortunately, in my situation,I have my kids 100 percent of
the time.
I have my bonus kids 50 percentof the time.

(01:05):
Um, honestly, I would be okay ifI had my bonus kids 100 percent
of the time.
Um, just because at this pointit's Damn.
My kids too, and it's just easy.
And actually, I think it'seasier when, um, they're all
together, don't you?
Uh, yeah, for different reasons.

(01:26):
One, they seem to keep eachother occupied.
Sure, there's, 20 percent of thetime that they're going to be at
each other's throats and stufflike that, which is the same, no
matter what.
Yeah.
Actually, it's probably higherif you look at when they're not
here.
Yeah.
Um, yours are fighting with oneanother, arguing with one
another, so it actually, Ithink, decreases overall.

(01:47):
Um, given that we bothunfortunately came from,
divorced parents as well.
What was your scenario?
Oh, that's a good question.
I wasn't expecting that.
I thought we were just going totalk about our kids.
But, um, I remember 50 50probably a little bit more with

(02:08):
my mom.
And more of the weekends with mydad, so maybe not 50 50.
Um, but I remember feelingobligated to want to be with
both parents.
Okay.
Yeah, that's, the reason why Iask is because, it was, I ended
up, um, mostly with my mom, itwas like every other weekend, I

(02:31):
remembered.
Um.
With your dad every otherweekend?
Yeah.
And then what happened is once Iturned 16 and he was able to
give me a car, uh, at least usea car, then next thing you know
it was a lot more fluid.
I still wouldn't stay over thereovernight as much, but I would
see him a lot more often once Iwas, driving.

(02:53):
So it was just hey, come on overfor dinner, this night, whatever
night.
And it was just much more fluidas far as, Things, happened in
her.
Oh, basically, so when you got acar, um, you just felt more free
to just come and go as youplease, right?
Yeah and, in reality, I thinkhe, um, wanted me to use his,
one of his cars to give him theability to, to see me more

(03:16):
often.
I'm trying to remember when Igot my car, what my situation
was.
What was your first car?
I was literally about to askyou.
Mine was a Chevette.
What was yours?
Do you even know what that is?
Yeah, of course I know what aChevette is.
What was yours?
So I didn't really have a caruntil a little bit later I was

(03:38):
able to use a truck.
In a car.
What kind of truck?
Is it like a Ford?
It's a big old Chevy dieselstick shift truck.
What color?
Red.
Oh, you had a hot red truck.
And it was hot.
I'd be blowing smoke in thatthing anyway and everything.
What is the definition ofblowing smoke in a manual truck?

(03:58):
So a manual truck and diesel,what happens if you keep it in a
low gear?
It pushes out the diesel.
It actually cleans like thediesel the tailpipe and pushes
out the actual smoke.
So if you ever see black smokecoming out of a truck, it's the
diesel fuel basically is burningthe smoke out like the tailpipe.
Oh, okay.

(04:19):
So you, so if you keep in a lowgear, you'll be like, really
loud and then you'll see thesmoke.
You gotta do that face, that,that.
So yeah, and then my first onewas a, uh, once I got ready to
go to college, I ended up with aFord Thunderbird, light blue.

(04:40):
It was pretty hideous and it wasnot nice.
It was no.
Ooh, that's for sure Okay, we'regetting off track, okay, I had a
ghost event, okay, we'll look itup later.
All right, so um, I Say, oh, sowe were talking about time
sharing.
I think that um I would say likearound the time that they can

(05:00):
start driving It's a good timefor them to figure out like how
much time they're with.
Um With each parent, what do youthink?
Yeah, I agree.
I think that in our situation,depending on where they need to
be that given day, if they needto be, going to an activity, if
they don't need to be going toan activity or something like

(05:22):
that, it can influence wherethey want to be staying.
You think so?
I don't know.
That way you have a car becauseyou can still go and come to
whatever activity you need to goto.
So the bottom line is, you'resaying that once they're of
driving age, they should havemore input as far as where they

(05:42):
are.
I do.
And I think that both parentsshould be, not take it personal
and have their feelings hurt andjust let that child like, go and
come.
And, uh, because I feel likeparents forget that it's a lot
of stress on kids to have twohomes.

(06:03):
You agree?
Yeah, I think that it's beengoing pretty well, though, for
them.
We'll probably find out whenthey're, 21, 24, 25.
That's true.
Maybe what they've reallythought about it.
That's true.
But I think right now they seemto be very comfortable.
I think the fact that they havetheir own room in both places, a

(06:24):
significant amount of stuff inboth places, it makes it easier.
I think it's because they'realso boys.
Yeah.
And, why'd you let that dog gooutside?
You knew he'd end up doing this.
Just ignore him.
He seems privileged.
Okay, so in summary, I thinkit's pretty straightforward.

(06:47):
Once they're of driving age,they should have a little bit
more say and influence as far aswhere they go.
Versus right now, it's okay, oneweek here, one week there.
One week here, one week there.
Um, do you think that theymentally have the capacity to
make those decisions?
I think that they can.
I think that the biggest thingis, like you said before, hurt

(07:08):
feelings.
So once they start making thosedecisions, they know that one
person might end up getting hurtversus the other.
And that's something.
For another time, we might talkabout your kids as well, as far
as, their interaction andhurting feelings of somebody.
That's true.
Alright, so bottom line, do weagree that once they are at

(07:29):
driving age, or, then that'swhen they can try to make the
decision on time sharing?
I agree.
Okay.
Do you agree that your dog isannoying?
I agree.
Yes, yours is.
And I agree that we shouldn'tput him outside whenever we're
trying to do this because he'sgoing to instantly start barking
again.
Alright.

(07:50):
Okay.
This is the end of this.
episode.
Absolutely.
Okay.
Do you want to wrap it up?
Until the next time, make sureyou decide to save or subscribe,
all these different things.
Share.
Yeah.
Share would be good, too.
And, definitely stay tuned, andyou can also find us on social
media, or chat below.

(08:10):
Just, we'd love to hear whatyour thoughts are, interact and
hear from you directly.
Alright, until next time, have amiraculous day.
Have an absolutely beautifulweek.
Have a, uh, uh, let me find agreat word.
Tremendously beautiful, sunshinyday.

(08:31):
Have a peaceful and beautifulweek.
Okay, until next time, bye.
Bye.