How We Survive Each Other’s Fitness Goals as a Married Couple (And Still Like Each Other)

Supporting Fitness Goals with Your Spouse | Rolling with the Dolans

In this episode of Rolling with the Dolans, Patrick and Tamekia Dolan share their insights on supporting each other's fitness goals within a marriage. As a blended and interracial family, they offer a unique take on how mutual support can enhance both fitness journeys and the relationship itself. They discuss the fine line between motivation and criticism, sharing personal stories and tips for encouraging your spouse without overstepping boundaries. Tune in for a positive and real conversation on maintaining a healthy relationship and lifestyle.

Key Discussion Points:

• The role of spousal influence on fitness
• Balancing criticism with support
• Supporting individual and shared fitness goals
• Motivating your partner without offending them

Join Patrick and Tamekia for an honest, lighthearted look at how couples can crush fitness goals—together.

Don’t miss an episode—subscribe to our podcast on your favorite platform. Find more at rollinwiththedolans.com or search #rollinwiththedolans on social media to join the conversation.

Episode Transcript

Line (USB AUDIO CODEC) (00:04):
Welcome to Rolling with the Dolans.
I'm Patrick Dolan.
And I'm Tamekia Dolan.
Our podcast focuses on the joysand challenges of blended
families, our interracialmarriage, parents and children
of multiple ages, and thejourney of entrepreneurship.
We share our daily lifeexperiences with a positive but
real perspective.

(00:25):
Alright, and today's topic issupporting fitness goals with
your spouse.
Alright.
Let's get started.
You ready for it?
Absolutely.
Okay.
And we didn't necessarily planthis out so we can go any
different direction with thistoday.
The biggest thing that I wantedto talk about, is do you feel
that your spouse shouldinfluence significantly what you

(00:48):
do when it comes to fitness on adaily basis?
I would say yes.
And how?
I okay, so this gets touchybecause for me, I need someone
to motivate me, but also call meout when I'm slacking and I feel
like you do that, but in a niceway.

(01:08):
Not nice very direct way.
But some of my clients feel likesome of the things that you say
could be like really harsh, butfor me, I don't take it as
harsh.
I take it as okay.
Overall, like he cares about myhealth and what is good for me.
And I see that as a positivething, whereas others see it as

(01:30):
very negative.
Yeah.
I think that.
We're not afraid of givingfeedback.
I think it's partly becausewe're very secure in our
relationship, where, we feelit's not a what should I say,
not a really negative thing.
It's not something that, that wetake too personally.

(01:51):
It's something that we feel likeit's just creative feedback,
things like that.
Because it's not going tocompletely influence how you,
Perceive me.
I think that a lot of times inrelationships if somebody says
something negative then they'reall of a sudden thinking Oh, he
or she doesn't want to attackme.
Yeah And I think that given howsecure we are with our

(02:11):
relationship.
It makes it easier and we alsoknow that we like we're both
open to a little bit ofCriticism and like fun.
Oh, okay just you know sayingthings that Do you want to give
an example No, I probably don'twant to do an example.
You don't want to hear a lot ofchatter in the comment box.

(02:31):
Let me see.
Get your fataz.
And I'm not going to say whichone says that to which person.
That's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
It'll be all in good spirit andwe'll point out some of what we
see in one another also.
But we I mean, likeindividually, like I'll be like,

(02:52):
Oh, critical of myself.
I think we're both more criticalof each other personally than we
are ever saying things criticalof the others.
You'll say something like, Oh,look at this, and I'll be like,
I didn't even notice.
If I say, There's cheese on mythighs.
You're like, Oh.
Where are my glasses?
Let me see.
I can't find it.
No, you were like, Oh, I see alittle bit.

(03:14):
But I'm not all worked upbecause at the end of the day
you know what I want my body tomostly feel like first and then
what I want my body to looklike.
Which is gorgeous.
Oh, okay.
Thanks.
All right.
That's the easy one.
Yeah.
I feel like I'm going to slideinto that and make it, just in

(03:36):
case this doesn't go well.
I think one of the things thatwe talked about early on in our
relationship, many years ago is,I'm very critical of myself as
for I don't know if critical isthe word.
I have goals of myself and Idon't let up those goals.
Like I get very upset if I don'tmeet some of my fitness goals
and objectives.

(03:58):
And I let her know, let Tamikaknow right away that I'm not, I
Expecting that.
Expecting.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't project, okay,here's what I do for myself,
this is what you have to do.
I want to support your goals andyour achievements that you're
looking to do, not, okay, here'smy goals, therefore, you must
have a goal like mine, and Ithink that's one thing that's

(04:19):
really important.
Yeah, you're good at that.
Patrick's goal is to run ahundred miles per month, which
he has done before me.
In our whole relationship andTamekia runs zero miles per
month, right?
On average is probably more like0.
1 for the year.
Oh For the year, yeah for theyear listen, I Try to do a 5k

(04:45):
like once every two years.
So if you divide that Anyways,on to the next.
So that would be, yeah, onepoint, yeah, that would be point
two, point three.
But the main thing is now Tamikais doing Pilates, I think I'm
supportive of that.
The main thing is, it's gotta besomething that you want to do

(05:07):
and that you're excited aboutbecause, just because I run or
just because, I want to go tothe gym and do things like that
doesn't mean you want to dothose things.
That's correct.
So I think that's the thing is,yeah.
To have a healthy relationshipand health, like a healthy way
to support one another is tomake sure that you're supporting
their goals, not your goals.

(05:29):
That's true.
I agree.
Alright, what's an example of,okay, so we've already talked
about individual goals, so yourswould be like, to run 100 miles
a month, to run a few marathonsa year.
That's true.
I feel like I'm supportive ofthat because I don't get in the
way of your 100 miles a month.
And I go with you to themarathons, right?

(05:51):
Every now and then you'll belike why do you have to do that
100 this month?
Oh, that's true.
That's true.
That's because I'm concerned,but Yeah, usually heat related.
Why are you going outside to runwhen it's 105 degrees?
Or I do say, you should go tothe gym and do it on a
treadmill, but you absolutelywould not listen to me.

(06:13):
Or do something else instead.
And I'm like if I take away, 20miles running, then I have to do
40 miles biking.
I mean I think you shouldcontinue to do the running, but
it doesn't have to be outside inArizona heat, right?
Anyways, and then my individualgoal is pilates, right?

(06:34):
And you support that And whatabout couples goals Do we get
it?
Do we want to get into thatdetail?
You can go ahead Just rememberyou have to lay next to me
tonight.
What do you mean, couple ofschools?
What kind of fitness goals do wehave together?

(06:58):
Oh, that was a long pause.
Anyways, we did one yesterday.
What did we do?
When we went to the pool?
Yeah, that was a fitness goal.
Yeah, I have a bit of a programthat I do at the pool, and you
joined me.
I joined you.
Why?
Because it was low impact.
And it was a nice day out.

(07:20):
I did that with you.
That could be a new couple'sgoal.
Anytime going to the pool withyou is a, not necessarily
effort.
Okay.
Alright.
And then, another question thatI wrote is, how to motivate your
partner without offending them?

(07:42):
Just plan a trip.
Just oh, we're going to go on atrip, and then next thing you
know, Patrick will be doing alot more to try to get in shape.
Because you know that motivatesme.
That's true.
That's true.
What would motivate you?
What do I need to do?
I don't know.
Because I don't like workingout.

(08:03):
But you've been really good atgoing to Pilates.
What's motivating you to do thatnow?
Because I'm almost 50 and I'mjust concerned about my body
falling apart.
Okay.
So what's the bottom line ofthis, conversation?
So the main thing is, I thinksupporting one another,
encouraging one another, havingfun with it without trying to

(08:24):
take offense to it.
Try to, and then making surethat everybody has their own
goals and not expecting theother person to have your goals.
I totally agree.
Yes.
Okay, we wrap this up?
Absolutely.
We summarized it.
Until the next time, make sureyou forward this on to others.

(08:49):
You like us, and then subscribe.
And you didn't say comment.
Oh yeah, definitely want to hearyour feedback and your stories.
And the intent is to try to getmore involved with everybody and
try to talk about things.
Not just here, but beyond theseactual recordings.
Yes.

(09:10):
Alright, until next time, havean amazing day.
Have a wonderful week.
Have a tremendous week.
Tremendously good week.
Yeah, tremendously good week.
And a glorious day.
Glorious, ooh.
Alright, until next time.
Thanks, bye.