March 12, 2025 • 51 mins
Saying "no" might be one of the hardest yet most transformative disciplines we can practice as followers of Jesus. When Christ commanded us to "deny ourselves, take up our cross daily, and follow Him," He wasn't introducing a spiritual punishment system but rather offering a pathway to freedom.
In this deeply reflective conversation, we unpack how self-denial touches every area of our lives – from the Christmas tree cakes we crave to our social media habits that steal our attention. We share vulnerable stories about our own struggles with saying "no," including a particularly memorable experience with the temptation of a Little Debbie treat that ended with "chew and spit" tactics! Beyond the humorous moments, we explore how our eating patterns often reveal deeper spiritual issues about comfort, control, and what truly satisfies us.
The discussion moves beyond food to examine our relationship with money, time, and family priorities. We challenge the notion that "having no time" for spiritual disciplines is a legitimate excuse when we somehow find hours for mindless scrolling. Through personal examples of parenting decisions and running competitions, we illustrate how denying immediate desires often leads to unexpected blessings and alignment with God's purposes.
What makes this episode particularly powerful is the practical framework it provides for understanding Jesus's call to self-denial. This isn't about punishment or deprivation – it's about creating space for something greater. As the old hymn reminds us, when we "turn our eyes upon Jesus," the things of earth grow "strangely dim" in comparison to the glory and wonder of following Him. Join us for this challenging yet encouraging conversation about finding freedom through the counterintuitive practice of saying "no" to ourselves.
SHARECROPPERS COFFEE ON FACEBOOK
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100072208428425
Music from #InAudio: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5NgiN3KLb4
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone and welcome to episode 8 of our
podcast.
We are excited to be here.
We always are excited to behere.
I'm a little tired.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I'm a little tired too.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I'm not going to lie, it's been a long day.
It's been a blessed day,thankful.
I still have my workout clotheson from running and doing the
exercise class this evening.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I've had three changes of clothes today because
I sweat pretty good in myrunning clothes, so I had to
change out.
I couldn't go around.
I stink more when I run thanyou do.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I don't know if it's a men thing or if it's a me
thing, because I sweat a wholelot more than you do.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
But you ran with me today and I'm thankful for that.
It was good we did.
We ran all over Sneed we did.
And you've done that before,but I haven't.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Yeah, I knew what to expect Most of the time when we
run.
You're not a fan of theunexpected.
You're not a fan of going downroads less traveled?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I'm not, but why is that?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Because you don't know where the dogs are and you
don't know where the dangers are, and I run off with this
confident, bolstered attitude.
And you're a little timid, Iwas slowly unaware.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
And then I'm like overanalyzing it all and then I
can't enjoy the run.
But anyway it ended up beinggood, a good run, a great day.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
It was a perfect run.
Like where we ran, we ended atthe exact amount of mileage that
we needed, without even reallyhaving to run a couple laps here
and there.
At the end it was really unique.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
It was good, but, yeah, episode 8.
So I don't really.
8 is the number of a newbeginning, I believe.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
New beginning.
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
And I guess this topic that we're going to talk
about today maybe it could,maybe it will start a new
beginning for you.
I feel like it can for me too.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
We're going to talk about denying ourselves today
and saying, no, that is.
It could be a touchy subjectfor you, or?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
You know, just saying no in general, it affects every
area of your life.
You know, any aspect that youare trying to do as a human,
saying no to things it it eitherhas to be a part of your, your
vocabulary, or you will say yesto everything, like that show,
yes man, or whatever that movieis.
I never watched it, but like hesaid yes to everything and wound
(02:19):
up doing all kinds of weirdthings, um, but saying no a lot
of times is is one of the harderthings to do in life, I think
it is, You'll feel like you'reletting people down If you say
no.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
You may take on too many things, but a lot of times
are like what we're talkingabout today is never telling
ourselves no, because we'respoiling ourselves rotten.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Um, but our cups.
Today.
I chose um for this topic thatwe're talking about is the
Christmas tree cake, becausethis is my Christmas tree cake
cup.
I think I had this made byChristy Beasley several
Christmases ago.
I love this cup.
I absolutely love Christmastree cakes.
(03:01):
They are not a part of my dietanymore, not at all, but I love
them always have.
I love that little crunch on it.
I've always loved them since Iwas a kid and, like to me, it's
not Christmas without theChristmas tree cake.
Um and so when I was pregnantwith Jude, I could eat these by.
(03:24):
I could eat these by the box ata time just thinking about that
now.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Oh my goodness, thank you, god, that he was a healthy
baby boy maybe that's thereason why he has so many little
Debbie wrappers in his bedroomall the time no, we don't really
even buy those anymore butanyway, this Christmas I denied
myself Christmas tree cakes.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Wait, you didn't have a single Christmas tree cake.
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Because we had some cheat.
Well, that's one of the thingsthat I was going to talk about
with my cup.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Okay, I have a little confession to make.
I chewed one and I spit it out.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Oh no, I remember that.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
And I know that sounds gross to people, but I
was just like but it also didn'thit the same way anymore, and
it's not because I'm sittinghere like trying to weigh a
certain amount.
I don't.
I don't even weigh, I don't.
I don't care about that.
It.
We really have just been a lotmore conscious about the
ingredients that we're puttingin our body because I I want to
try to prevent any diseases thatI possibly can.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, you can't prevent anything, and I'm not.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
God, he knows when it's my time.
I don't, but I do want to tryto take care of myself in the
time that he's given me.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
But the chewing up thing.
I'm going to go back to thatbecause it sounds gross but it's
funny.
But really a lot of the sugarythings that we eat and the
things that generally are notthe best for you, that taste
really really good.
The only time it actually doesanything for you is when it's in
your mouth that's what I.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
That's what I discovered I was like you know,
once I've swallowed it, it's notreally doing anything for me
anymore.
So I was like, well, I'm justgonna chew it, because that's
I'm just wanting that taste andthat feel.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
They need a Christmas tree bubble gum, christmas tree
cake gum.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Well, I don't think the gum is really that good
either.
You're still swallowing stuffAnyway.
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
So my cup's the Apple Barn, and this was a time.
Everyone loves the Apple Barnthat goes to Gatlinburg.
We love the Apple Barn and thatwas one of the times where that
we did not deny ourself on thislast Gatlinburg trip.
We went to Apple Barn and weate.
We ate Apple Barn.
We enjoyed it.
We ate the fritters, we ateeverything that was there.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
I didn't deny myself anything that I wanted there, we
didn't deny ourselves.
And then, you know, we'vealready talked about it.
We paid for it.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
We paid for it, like because our body wasn't used to
dig those chemicals or thoseproducts, and and when it, when
it hit, it hit hard yeah, and itnot in like explosive diarrhea.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I'm not afraid to use that word, it doesn't embarrass
me it didn't hit that way.
It hit in, it pain lag pain inmy legs fog I just, I can't even
explain how I felt, but it itwas like the flu this is yes
yeah, like the flu yeah's likewhen.
I guess maybe when you get offof carbs and you go through that
carb flu, it was like goingthrough that again.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
But worse.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, no bueno, I don't know, uh, so anyway.
So we're going up with the cups.
Denying herself yes.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Denying ourselves.
Uh, so in the, in the, the what?
The torah no, no new testament.
Oh my goodness, I was thinkingold new testament um, it's the,
the gospel, the gospel which isthe story of jesus, basically
his ministry here on earth, andwe have basically four different
accounts of it.
We have matthews, marks, luke'sjohn's so they all I.
(06:42):
I love it that we do get to seethose perspectives, because if
you and I are at the same place,we will see things differently.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Because we're going to pay attention to things
differently.
So I love how there are storiesand I call them stories.
They really did happen thefacts of Jesus's ministry, but I
love that a lot of them areparalleled.
You know like they'll all havethe same thing, but then you'll
have like maybe Mark sayssomething that nobody else does
(07:15):
mention.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
You know, I heard someone along that same line,
like that Mark says somethingthat someone else doesn't.
But there was a study donewhere they actually um, compared
the amount of variance in thegospel stories to like four
random people that experiencedthe same situation like a
shooting or or a robbery orsomething like that.
The amount of differences inopinions, the percentages of it
(07:40):
parallel matthew, martin, lukeand john, like the percentages
of difference in those becauseso.
So it proves it, furthermore,that those variances in their
stories actually legitimizestheir stories exactly.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
um well, this particular the verse of denying
yourself um, matthew, mark andluke all have the same when he
when jesus was talking to.
So we obviously know that allthree of them were present when
he was saying this and it waspivotal enough to them that
these three people wrote it down, that it needed to be logged,
(08:14):
that we needed to hear it.
And the verse goes and itbasically all says the same
thing, but I'm going to read itfrom each of them how they wrote
it down.
So Matthew 16, 24, if anyonewants to come after me, let him
deny himself and take up hiscross and follow me.
Luke 9, 23 says Whoever wantsto be my disciple must, must
(08:38):
deny themselves and take uptheir cross daily and follow me.
And then Mark says Whoeverwants to come after me and I
imagine that like just goingafter Jesus.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Let them deny themselves.
Take up his cross and follow me.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah, it's just slight variances in it, but
Definitely the same message.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, Okay so in all that, what does it mean to deny
yourself like, from yourperspective, cow?
And if?
I said what does it mean todeny yourself?
What would you say?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
um put someone else's priorities above mine, or um
take the thing that I desire andcompare it to what's best.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I'm not sure, sometimes we don't know what's
best.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
That was a face.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Whenever y'all see that on.
Youtube my face goes weird.
That's going to be a short.
Here comes Instagram reels.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Okay, Well, and obviously yes.
I do think that is what denyingyourself mean, and it can just
mean the simple word of no, no,no saying no no, okay, yeah and
uh.
No does not have to be anegative word, it can be very
positive.
So I, I was like, okay, so whatdoes it mean to deny ourselves?
(10:06):
It means saying no, well, whatdo we deny ourselves of?
Like, what are we needing todeny Our own will?
Obviously Okay.
Like we are, we're selfish.
I have always said, no matterwhat sin it is, no, you could
name any sin yeah adultery,fornication, murder,
(10:32):
covetousness, any of it and it'sall goes back to being selfish
self.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, we have a self problem.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Uh, every single one of us deal with this, uh, on a
daily basis, and so I think it'sso important for us to
understand that, when we wake upevery morning, the first thing
that we probably need to do isdeny ourselves, deny ourselves
automatically you're had.
Okay, like and let's say yourjob is so important, like, first
(11:03):
of all, you need the income,correct, people are expecting
you there.
You're going to get fired ifyou don't go eventually.
You might get a couple ofchances, depending on what it is
, but you deny yourself fromgetting out of that bed because
nobody wants to get out of bedin the morning.
I am a morning person.
(11:26):
I love getting up in the morning, but I still want to lay there
and sleep more yeah so youautomatically the you're having
to deny yourself of laying therebecause something is expected
of you, right?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
yeah okay I hit the snooze button, but there's only
so many times you can do thatbefore you got to say no, I
gotta, I gotta get, the shop hasto open yeah right, like the
beans have to get put into thegrinder, the espresso machine
has to be turned on, or later onin the day it's going to mess
everything up, right when it'swhen six o'clock hits.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Sharecroppers is not ready to open because you didn't
deny yourself and you laid inthe bed for longer than you
should have right, right, right.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
That doesn't happen.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
But um, that's just one scenario that I was thinking
about.
Okay, but let's so.
I brought this down into somethings that we need to deny
ourselves on.
Okay, and so the first thing Iwrote down was food.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Oh yeah, yeah, Food like that consumes.
We've talked about it before,you know, in one of our recent
episodes previous episodes wetalked about our diet, but like
food in general, like itconsumes so much of our human
mind because it's like one ofthe main necessities, you know,
like what are?
the three Food, shelter,clothing right?
You, basically, as a human, youneed those in order to survive.
(12:48):
So, that being one of the mainnecessities, it's the one that
we burn through the most.
Your shelter, once you build it, you establish it, it's there.
Your clothing, once you findthem and attain them, they're
there until they get worn out.
Food it's a constant variablein your life.
It's a constant variable inyour life.
It's a constant variable inyour existence.
So, when we put such a bigemphasis on it, you know it, it
makes it to where, like, that isthe thing that you most need
(13:11):
that day.
And you're going to be like,you're like, you're going to go
hunt it, you're going to gatherit, you're going to find it and
you're going to try to figure itout.
And in our society, just ingeneral, like humans have like
one in the world of struggle,like when it comes to like how
many advancements we have in oursociety, life is really easy
now, compared to most, almostany other generation.
(13:32):
You know it's very easy, it'svery lax, so it's not
necessarily.
If we're going to eat, it's howmuch?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
and what, and a lot of times when we've eaten a meal
, we're already thinking aboutwhat the next meal is going to
be yeah because food has becomeone of those things that gives
us, it gives us pleasure, like,or it gives us comfort, and food
has really turned from it's notgiving us fuel to our body,
(13:59):
it's, it's satisfying some kindof need inside of us, um, and so
a lot of times we just we don'tdeny ourselves that we're like
I'm gonna eat all of the wrongthings that that are really bad
for me.
Yeah, and you know, even to thepoint of, let's say that you
have a.
(14:20):
I've never understood this,like when it's easy to judge a
situation that you don'tstruggle with.
Okay.
So let's say, like smokingcigarettes.
That's always been one of thosethings that I've never
understood, because you knowit's bad for you.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I don't think anyone.
I've heard a few people thatI've worked around in like
industrial environments thatlike you know the chemicals and
the smoke and the dust and thatwe're exposed to, and then
there's there's smokingcigarettes, like there's only
been a few people that have saidI know what it's doing to me,
but my grandmother lived to be90 and she smoked two packs a
day, right, so like they saythings like that, but I don't
(14:59):
think there's anyone that'sgenuinely smokes that says I
believe this is a good thing forme no, you know they don't say
this is a good thing, but butthey don't, I don't.
But but me, from someone who'snever smoked or been addicted to
anything like that, it's hardfor me to like and I want to say
just stop, just stop, just stop.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
But I don't know what their struggle is you know, yes
, but when you turn that over toI'm a sugar addict like little
debbie.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Christmas tree cakes yeah, what's the difference?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
and not wanting to deny myself that, or knowing,
like, let's say that I'm adiabetic and you continually eat
the things that are going tomake your blood sugar rise or
fall, however that that works,you know, or whatever, or you're
going to eat this and take ashot later, but so you can have
it, and I don't mean this in ajudgmental way, because I don't
(15:52):
struggle with that.
I did struggle with wantingthat kind of food all the time,
and it had consequences on mybody.
No, I was not a diabetic, butit made me feel really bad.
I was sluggish, I was.
I was not meeting my potentialin my body.
No, I was not a diabetic, butit made me feel really bad.
I was sluggish, I was.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I was not meeting my potential in my body, you know
do you want to know somethingwhen it comes, when we're
talking about with our body?
But I was just thinking aboutthis.
You know, I had my wreck.
I fell asleep.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And there's been a lot of times where I would like
pull over and take naps on theway home from work on late
nights and things like that.
Like just stop at a gas stationbecause I couldn't hold my eyes
open.
You know, since we've beenreally focused on our diet, I
have not struggled with beingtired behind the wheel.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Well, I think that I mentioned that I don't know if
it was to you or if it wassomebody else.
I had a really hard timefalling asleep at the wheel when
I would go to get the kidsbecause, honestly, we're up at 3
30 in the morning and obviously, look, it's 11 0, 5 right now
and we're recording, so we don'tget a lot of sleep, and it is
(16:52):
something that we need to workon, because that's not healthy
to do that, and we're gettingbetter at it.
We're not doing every singlenight, but we do have times that
we're doing this, and so oursleep is we just don't get a lot
of it so before the diet,though before we changed what we
were eating, I was having avery hard time of staying awake
(17:13):
at the wheel to.
It was really scary, and so Istarted.
I picked up the habit ofchewing gum.
I was just trying to keepmyself alert, but then I was
like, hey, I'm not really havingto do that anymore.
I'm not feeling like I'm goingto fall asleep at the wheel
anymore, and I think it'sbecause of the better things
(17:33):
that we're putting in our body.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
It probably has something to do with the quality
of sleep too, not necessarilythe amount we do sleep so much
better.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Like when I go to bed , when my head hits the pillow
gone, I'm out, yeah it's, it's awonderful thing, but denying
yourself, uh, the think aboutthe things that you're eating
and think about the why you'reeating it, you know, um, is it
giving you some kind of comfort?
(18:01):
Is or we really should only eatfor fuel?
That's it.
It's just like when you you'renot going to go and put gas in
your car if the tank is full itdoesn't make sense to do that,
right and you're also not goingto go up to the gas station and
fill it with diesel if it's nota diesel right, yeah and so we
(18:23):
have to fuel our bodies with theright things, and I think
that's important.
And fasting comes in that.
You know as well.
That's a great way to denyyourself, just not eating at all
.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
You know, we've got a couple of customers and some
employees that are participatingin Lent this year and they're
denying themselves certainthings sure um, I know one of
them is sugars.
Um, two of them actually that Iknow of are denying themselves
any sweets and people denythemselves, uh, during lent.
It's like I think it's a 40-dayfast of something that you give
(18:57):
up, not necessarily a food fast, but it could be anything,
playstation, whatever you know.
Uh, and and and it know, andit's a denial.
That's basically all that is.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yes, and it's basically just to get your focus
off of yourself and that thingthat you're wanting and focusing
it all on who?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
God.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
God.
Okay, that's the whole point.
When he says deny himself, takeup his cross and follow me,
it's like don't be thinkingabout the food's, like don't be
thinking about the food anymore,don't be thinking about the
playstation anymore, don't bethinking about opening up your
social media apps all the timeyou know it's follow me.
Um, all right.
(19:35):
Another thing is I put down wasdenying ourselves with how we
spend our money.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
That's a hard one yeah, yeah, that we've been in
all kinds of different faces inour marriage, from, uh, the the
smallest paychecks to thelargest overtime paychecks and
and in every single one of those, it doesn't matter how much
money you have, it's very easyto spend it unwisely, it's very
easy to just to blow it or veryeasy for it to be like gone,
(20:03):
like the next day, and onceagain feeling like you deserve
something, because you haveworked so hard for it.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
And once again, I'm not saying that you're not
supposed to enjoy life or enjoythe money that you have, you
know.
But a lot of times we're notdenying ourselves that.
A lot of times we're notdenying ourselves that we
constantly feel like we've gotto eat out all the time, or that
we've got to have this type ofclothing or this type of car or
(20:32):
this type of house, and it'slike we're storing up treasures
for ourselves here and thisplace really doesn't matter,
like this earth is going to burnup one day and all of those
things with it.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I think that, yes, exactly that.
This earth is going to burn upand everything in it, and
everyone's.
I've heard it so many timeswhere people say, well, I can't
take it with me, so I might aswell spend it now.
Well, here's the thing, thatvery verse that he's talking
about saying deny yourself, takeup his cross daily and follow
me.
When you deny yourself ofspending the resources or using
the talents that God has givenyou and you don't use them for
(21:09):
yourself, you're able to usethem for the cause of the cross.
You're able to actually usethem for something that's going
to advance God's purpose for youin your life.
You want to do something forGod and intentionally do things
on purpose to reach other peopleor to minister to your family,
your kids, your husband, spousewhatever it is.
Deny yourself what you want?
(21:30):
Yes, spend it on things that'sgonna allow your family to
experience things.
Spend it on things that's gonnagive your self the ability to
be able to uh, enjoy life withyour family and with your
community and impact people'slives and we're preaching to the
choir.
We are 100 but, um, so I'velooked for like, like, how, how,
how can we with sharecroppers,you know, like with, with our
(21:53):
business, when we try to helpthings in the community?
Sometimes it doesn'tnecessarily come off that we can
support something all the way,but we try to collaborate, we
try to do things where we dofundraisers, we try to do things
where we have awarenesscampaigns, where we'll at least,
you know, like, post or shareor talk about, you know about
some of our resources that wehave to be able to help people
(22:15):
accomplish things or do things,and it's always a blessing, it
blesses our hearts so much touse what God has given us for
other people.
This platform in general, eventhe podcast, it's not for us.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
It's not.
I mean, we would really like tobe asleep right now.
I'm not lying.
No, not at all, it's true, Iwould like to be asleep, but I
love the opportunity of gettingto do this.
I just told you today I waslike I love doing the podcast.
I truly love it.
God's put a love in my heartfor it.
But you know, we do have todeny ourselves when it comes to
(22:52):
how we spend our money, and itcan be difficult, especially
usually in a relationship.
There's the spender and there'sthe saver, and so for that
spender it's going to be reallydifficult to deny themselves.
And I will also say this too,though the saver sometimes needs
to deny themselves and theyneed to spend the money.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yeah Right, that's another flip side of it.
It's easy to hold on to it toolong and not use it for what
God's?
I mean burying it in the sand,and when the master comes back
you ain't done nothing with it.
It's just as bad as spending iton something wasteful.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
So something that God laid on my heart, and I haven't
even shared this with you Oohjuicy.
Okay, and I mentioned this Idon't know if it was the last
episode it was the episode wherewe talked about excess.
Okay, was that last week or theweek before, anyway, and I was
talking about I had an obsessionwith clothes and I had so many
clothes and I would be sodogmatic and so focused on what
(23:49):
I was going to wear for Easterand and uh, and so I was
thinking about Easter's comingup, you know, and so I could
feel that same feeling comingback, like I'm already thinking
about it, like what am I goingto wear for Easter?
And once again, here was thatlittle devil on my shoulder.
You know, I don't know, but itneeds to be slam bam, devil on
(24:15):
my shoulder, you know, I don'tknow, but it needs to be slam
bam, okay.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
So I was thinking and I was like I know that I have
clothes in there.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Okay, all right and I was like I know a specific
dress that I've had probablyfour or five years ago for
Easter, and I've probably wornit twice and it was a really
nice dress that I spent somemoney on and I was like that's
your Easter dress.
(24:43):
I was like I'm going to deny.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Get it.
You're shocked right now.
No, that's good.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
I was like I'm going to deny myself going and
shopping for that, like I don'teven want that to have my focus,
like when it.
When it comes to easter sunday,I do not want my focus to be on
what we're wearing oh no, itcan't be.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
That's the entire reason why easter, I think, is
just so overlooked um and passedby in by in a lot of our kids'
eyes and our eyes.
We get so wrapped up in theholiday of Easter and not
necessarily the worship serviceof Easter.
I think, we really have got tobring it back and deny ourselves
(25:25):
the fun side of Easter as aworldly thing, even if you want
to disagree and say it's a paganholiday thing.
Even if you want to disagreeand say it's a pagan holiday,
and even if you want to throwall these past history things
and say it was all incorporatedand America did this and all
that, okay, pause, take a dayjust to focus on the
resurrection.
(25:45):
You don't even have to call itEaster.
It's an opportunity for us tocome together in our faith and
celebrate what Christ did for us.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Period that not only was he willing to die, but he
got back up again.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
You want to talk about ultimate denying yourself.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Oh, my goodness.
You know, yeah, and then wehave watered it down so much
that we care about the Easteroutfits that we're going to wear
.
I promise guys I'm not hatingon any of you.
We do Easter baskets, my dreamwas to open up this amazing
boutique and everything, and Iwas going to style people and
(26:25):
everything.
I love fashion I really do whenI played with my Barbies
growing up.
That's how I played with themwas fashion shows and things
like that.
So I'm really not against that.
What I'm saying is I wasexcessive with it.
It had become my identity andI've had to learn to deny myself
when it comes to that, and I'mneeding to deny myself in a lot
(26:46):
of things.
So I have no need to go Easterdress shopping.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
I will have to shop for my children because they've
grown.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
That's just, that's just, it is what it is, yeah,
yeah, and they but now if we canfind something, if someone's
got something in a size uh, I'mnot worried about whether it's
used or new or anything likethat.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
I'm just talking about that feeling that I want
to have a certain look for.
Easter.
It's just completely, it'sstupid I don't know another word
to say for it and it's juststupid, and I think that Satan
loves it.
It keeps the focus off of whatwe're actually there for, and
that's him.
So, um, I don't know if that'sa problem for you guys, and it's
okay to look nice on Easter andwant to dress nice for church.
(27:32):
I'm not hating on that.
I'm just saying what it wasbecoming for me.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Anything that you spend your time on like thinking
about something of yourself.
It occupies that part of yourlife.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
The amount of time you spend thinking about the
clothes, the amount of time youspend thinking about what you're
going to spend your money, onthe amount of time that you
spend thinking about food andplanning and prepping and doing
all this stuff.
It takes energy.
It takes part of your life.
It takes the opportunity foryou to use your time wisely,
right, right.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
And that brings us to our next one.
That I wrote down was time,like denying ourselves with how
we're spending our time.
We do not get time back.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
What's the phrase?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Netflix and chill.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yeah, doom scrolling.
That was another one that Isaid.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Oh yeah, and I was like what's doom scrolling?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
The tendency to open up an app, a social media
platform, and as soon as you'rehooked to it, you begin
scrolling, and you're doomed toscroll for forever.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I'm sure that all of us can raise our hands that we
have all fell victim to doomscrolling.
If we added up those minutes orthe time, it would probably be
quite embarrassing how muchwe've done that, because we were
talking about it today and wedoom scroll and yet we're like
don't have time to pray.
Oh yeah, yeah, yes, you do.
You're just not denyingyourself, because satan wants
(29:01):
you to think that taking time topray is a huge deal.
It's not.
I mean, it is like you'retalking to god.
It's a big deal talking to God,but he will make you feel like
you don't have time for that.
You've worked all day.
You've put all this energy intothis.
You deserve to just not thinkand to just mindlessly surf or
(29:27):
to scroll the social media or towatch this show, and maybe I
can hit you where it hurts heretoo.
Really think about what you'rewatching on TV as well what
you're allowing to enter yourmind.
It goes back to that littlesong that we heard when we were
kids oh be careful, little eyes,what you see.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
and ears what you hear.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
There's so much truth to that, you know.
But we don't deny ourselves.
We want to be entertained at nomatter what cost it is.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Yeah, my mom had a phrase garbage in, garbage out.
What you put into your life,what you put into your family's
household, is what's going tocome out of your life and out of
your household.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Same with food.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Food yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Same with the money.
Yep, yes, it all goes back to.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
And this isn't to like, obviously not to like
criticize anyone.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
We are preaching to ourselves.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah, for like you can't do social media or nothing
like that, but it's like what'syour intention behind it and
how much time are you spendingwith it?
Yes, is it something that'soccupying your time to the point
that you're being inactive forChrist, inactive for your
purpose?
For?
Speaker 1 (30:34):
your role in this life.
When I talk to people about um,they're telling me that they're
wanting to get into fitness, orthat they're wanting to read
their Bible or they're wantingto go to church more faithfully.
A lot of times, the excuse thatcomes up is I just don't have
time, and I just I don't believeit.
I believe that we all do havetime.
(30:56):
We make time for the thingsthat we want to do.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
It's just.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
We lack the ability of denying ourselves.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
When we deny ourselves, he raises it.
It goes back to the verse of Imust decrease and he will
increase right.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
And I want him to increase.
I definitely want myself todecrease because I don't know
what the heck I'm doing in thislife.
Yeah, it's a scale I'm messingit up all the time.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Your dad has that analogy of um, your, your flesh
and your spirit are like twodogs fighting.
Um, the one that's going to winis the one that you feed the
most.
That's right.
If you've got of your flesh andyour spirit are like two dogs
fighting, the one that's goingto win is the one that you feed
the most.
That's right.
If you've got a scrawny spiritand you've got a hardy, fleshly
dog, the fleshly dog is going towin.
You've got to feed your spirit,you've got to spend the time
(31:45):
and you've got to deny yourflesh and allow your spirit to
get strong.
That way, when you do go intothose battles and you are in
those fights, it has a betterchance of winning.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yes, and this might step on some toes, but you know
what we're doing with ourchildren being so involved in
this activity and that activitythat we're so worn down that
we're too tired to go to churchand so we're not being as
devoted to it because we'retired, because we've been at
this ball practice or that ballpractice or this dance recital
(32:13):
or this dance practice, and it'slike we're striving in all
these activities that our kidsare involved in.
We're never having dinner atthe table anymore and we wonder
why the family unit iscollapsing or why our churches
are getting slimmer and slimmer.
It's because we are not denyingourselves, we are.
(32:37):
We're spending it all of ourtime and energy on these
activities that we think aregoing to get our kids ahead in
life, because we want them to bethe best baseball player or the
best dancer or the best pianoplayer or whatever, and we're
really.
Are we doing that for them?
Are we doing it for us becausewe get such pride in seeing them
(33:00):
do that?
Speaker 2 (33:01):
well, like when jude's playing his piano and I'm
like I'm in awe, you know, veryeasily I could.
I could want to be like, okay,we're just we're going to invest
in you know lessons every day.
I could, I could want to belike, okay, we're just we're
going to invest in you knowlessons every day.
We're going to invest in, uh,putting you in in places to be
seen, you know and and itdoesn't matter.
It's not just you know aboutsports and stuff, but it's
(33:22):
anything that you take pride in,the you know worldly things.
Um, above and beyond, um,something that's healthy.
You know that requires more ofyour time that should be spent
elsewhere, Because you knowthere's not.
He's not going to be playinghis keyboard.
You know when he dies.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
No, he's not and he can.
You can look at anything as a.
Everything you do in life canbe a ministry.
Everything.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Everything.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Everything.
But it doesn't mean that ittakes the place of us actually
worshiping God or being in Hishouse or just being together as
a family, where you're not likeI don't know, just being
together, like if you're afamily of four, just sitting
together as a family of four andhaving that precious time
(34:12):
together because your kids youblink and they're going to be
older and they're going to beout of the house and you might
be like I'm going to miss thosedays at the ball field or
whatever.
You probably won't.
You probably won't.
You'll miss the times of whenyou were snuggled up on the
couch together.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Those are the times that you're going to miss.
We've talked about being moreintentional with our time that
we do have at home with ourfamily and with our kids and
actually really beingintentional about the amount of
time that we spend with them.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Well, there was a time when we were going here and
going there and we basicallytold our kids that they had to
pick things that that theywanted to do, and so, you know,
you, you tried a few thingsthere and there was a time there
where he was playing footballand in band at the same time.
It was horrendous.
Yeah, that was hard on ourfamily, like we weren't happy
(35:06):
family because we were runragged.
Yeah, like, and then you'regoing to, you're going to church
or you're missing churchbecause you literally have such
a lack of sleep because youcan't get everything done.
That's not living, that, andand I'm like who's benefiting in
all of this?
So, you know, we got to wherewe told our kids, you know you
(35:29):
got to pick something like sowhen judah's in cross country,
that's all he's doing is crosscountry and and he's training
for that, like it should, itshould dominate his time.
You know that one sport he doesdo piano, but that's one time a
week, you know yeah, but um,and then he uses that for
worship too.
(35:49):
And then he's in tennis rightnow.
But I will say, even with that,it's like you have the tennis
and you have the cross country.
There's still only one thatyou're going to be able to
completely focus on.
Like Jude plays tennis for fun,like he loves tennis, he really
trains hard in the runningaspect of it we don't have time
(36:13):
for him to train in both andit's okay yeah, because you
can't.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
You can't, like, have a two-hour run session one day
and then you have tennis lessonswith a professional that you
paid for to go to for two hoursthat same day and expect to get
any good results from one or theother.
Yes, you're going to have tofocus on one thing, and I guess
that's the thing about, like,when we're talking about denying
ourselves our time is like,where's your focus at?
You have to be able to focus onone thing at a time.
(36:42):
Um, multitasking I think thatphrase is bunk Um, what, what?
Instead of multitasking, whatit is, what it means is
splitting your attention and notgiving enough focus on either
thing.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
I used to think about when Jews started driving this
week.
That's a big change in ourfamily.
And when I came up to thefour-way for the first time in
Snead, where we live, there's acrazy four-way stop that it's
got turn lanes, merge lanes andnobody ever really thinks about
it until they get there, unlessyou're a local and you know
you've got to be on top of itand everyone gets confused when
(37:15):
they go through there and a lotof anger has happened at that
four-way.
So going through there withJude, I was telling him, you
know, like at his age, with someof the things he does, you have
to split your attention to beable to focus on so many aspects
, to go through this four-way,stop and not hit someone or not
make anyone mad, you know, andget the bird right.
(37:37):
So you've got to focus on somany things.
And really, can we focus onthat many things?
We actually only focus on onething at a time and try to
compile it as the best possiblescenario, right, um, and then
you go, you know, and you hopethat everything you didn't miss
something yes but when it comesto how much attention we have in
(37:58):
our life to give to people andto give to god, and to give to
the world and give to our flesh,you've got to understand that
your priority of what you focuson, if it's not god, first, and
if it's not your family, second,and if it's not your, you know,
and if it's not your family,second, and if it's not your,
you know what I'm saying.
Like your, your, your, yourpriorities will get mixed up.
And it's very easy to mix themup because our flesh is selfish.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yes, and we need to crucify it every single day,
because our self is selfish andit does not know what's best for
us.
It thinks it knows what's bestfor us, like it's going to tell
me the Christmas tree cake isgood for you.
It's not, it's not good for meand I need to deny myself that
(38:45):
part.
And it's you know.
I did a run Saturday and I'm intraining for that half marathon
, so I have specific things thatI'm having to do each day.
Well, on Saturday, I wassupposed to do an easy eight
miles.
It's a longer run, but I alsohad this 5K that I was
(39:07):
registered for.
I registered for the 5K before Ireally started this training
and I wanted to be at the 5kbecause I wanted to support the
cause yeah, the people that hadorganized it.
I just really wanted to bethere for support yeah, good
people, good reason so I'mextremely competitive person,
(39:31):
would you you say that I am?
Speaker 2 (39:31):
That's the entire 100%.
I was talking with someone theother day.
That's the reason why you ever,ever fell in love with running
is because you saw thecompetitive side of it.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Probably that is true , and I have said so many times
when I've been doing this halfmarathon training and vlogging
it, which I'm still like, timeswhen I've been doing this half
marathon training and vloggingit, which I'm still like why am
I doing this?
Why am I making these videosevery day and telling what I'm
doing?
But I see things that he keepsteaching me in each of these
(40:02):
runs that I'm doing, becausesome of them are extremely
difficult and then some are justso easy.
But on this particular day, iteverything inside of me wants to
win, and when I mean when, Imean like doing my best, okay so
(40:22):
, and I would like to place inmy age group now being overall
woman winner.
That would be like amazing,amazing.
That is much more difficult toachieve.
I have achieved it like twicein my whole life winning an
overall woman.
So when I went though I hadactually even told you I said
(40:47):
I'm not going to race it.
Yeah, I had my doubts and I feltlike I needed to vocalize that
to you as an accountability thatI was like I'm not going to
race it, I'm going to run thethree miles, because that's what
a 5K is is 3.1 miles, and whenI cross to the finish line I'm
just going to keep running anddo my.
(41:08):
Oh, actually, I think I had torun seven miles and run four
more I'll, just because it wasgoing to be at appalachian high
school and I was like I'll findsomewhere around there that I
can run around a football fieldor something.
I'll just keep running.
And so we're there and theenergy is up, okay, and I have
some of my.
The.
The running community is justso loving and we're all
(41:30):
supportive of one another andthey saw some of the things that
I'm doing and some of them werelike, oh, she's going to beat
us all, okay, and so then whenyou have that talk happening,
you're like, oh, I want a race.
I want a race, I want a race.
And I thought that I had it inme too, you know, like I wasn't
like sore or anything like don'tdo it, don't do it, don't do it
(41:54):
, don't do it, don't do it,don't do it and it's like I felt
like something was really justhaving to hold me back.
And then I was just like denyyourself this.
No, you're not going to race it, you're going to hang at the
back.
I've never done that, I'venever just easy ran a race.
And so when it got time for thestart, um, I wasn't up closer
(42:18):
to the front, I was at the back,you know, and even then, even I
even at the back, I was like,okay, I'm gonna start out slow,
but if I think I can do this,I'm gonna pass people okay, and
so there was one, uh, one otherperson there and she was
motioning me to come up there tothe front where she was, and I
was like, no, I'm good you knowback here, and so I did.
(42:42):
I ran the whole thing at a veryeasy pace and I had so much fun
and I was like, but I did haveto deny myself that.
Um, I guess the pride honestlylaying down the selfish pride of
wanting to place or anythinglike that.
(43:04):
Proof to yourself that you couldyes and your brother was
running and he's definitelyworking on getting his time down
and every race he runs he getsbetter and better.
So I eventually started comingup on him, you know, or whatever
, and I think it took him bysurprise that you were behind
him.
Yeah, he's like whoa like,where did you come from?
(43:24):
You know?
You're just so fast, caleb andsee, and then, even then, like
he was pushing himself yeah sohis pushing himself pace was my
easy pace, but was that neat to.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
was that neat to be able to see him pushing himself
like that, though like in themiddle of the run, because it's
not like he's running by you,you're running with him.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
And he's sitting there and he's pushing with
everything that he has, andthat's exactly how I feel when
I'm running my race pace.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
You know, but I do remember a time when that was my
race pace too.
Yeah do remember a time whenthat was my race pace too.
Yeah, you know, so you just youadvance, so it takes.
It takes years, it takes time.
But I did have to deny myselftrying to, uh, win that race or
win an age group or whatever,just just running my best.
But I realized that evenrunning slower, I was running my
(44:14):
best.
That was that's what I neededto do that day.
And I was being obedient to thetraining you know, Um, and I
think a lot of denying herselfdoes come down to humbling
ourself.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yeah, you know because you're, because God
knows what's best for you.
He knows what you need, heknows what provisions you need
on this earth.
He knows exactly what you'regoing to need to get you through
physically, mentally,spiritually.
You know the whole kit andcaboodle.
You can't get any better thangod's knowledge of who you are,
because he created you and youknow.
(44:48):
And denying your yourself, uh,the things that are gonna that
you like.
You think if I deny myselfsomething, it's an, it's a
denial of something, that is, Iwould rather do something.
So I'm going to deny myselfwhat I would rather do yes but
in your situation, you'redenying.
You're denying yourself what youthought was best for you.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
But what was really best for you was exactly what
you were doing yes, and Ithought about it when, because
that was my slow and easier pacelong run, which was seven miles
, um, and I'm so glad that I didthat, because I was like if I
had thrown out that, thrown outthat training that I was
supposed to do and just went,pushed it really hard when I had
(45:33):
to do my hard run on Monday, Iwould not have been able to do
it because I would have beensore from pushing myself on that
Saturday.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
It was hard enough.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
It was really hard run and I did it.
I was able to do it, but I waslike God.
I'm so thankful.
I'm so thankful that I wasobedient to that and that I did
deny myself.
You know, it's even in themodel prayer like denying
yourself and searching for hiswill is so important that he put
(46:05):
it in the model prayer for uswhen it comes to, because the
disciples says how do we pray?
How do we pray?
And he said pray like this ourfather in heaven, hallowed be
thy name.
So immediately you areacknowledging God and who he is
and how amazing he is, how holyhe is that there is none like
(46:26):
him.
Your kingdom come, your will bedone.
God.
I know that Jesus put that inthere, because Jesus knows that
we are needing to pray for hiswill every single day.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Because we're having to fight against our own will.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Yeah, well, it's a.
He says you have to submit tome.
You know you have.
It's not necessarily 100% thatyou're denying yourself, but
more that you are submitting tohim and saying that all the
desires I have come second.
What do you desire he?
Speaker 1 (47:05):
says there is none good.
No, not one.
We are not good, we are notable to be good.
If there's any good that comesout of us, it's Him, and so
that's why we are constantlyneeding to deny ourselves and
yield ourselves to His will.
It says your will be done onearth as it is in heaven.
(47:30):
So it's like what His will isup there.
I want it here we were talkingabout that and I'm fighting for
it.
I will beat myself up If I needto punch myself in the face to
have his will be done.
That's what I want.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
So think about this If his will okay, talking about
his will in heaven is his willon earth.
And if we look at what his wordsays, these promises of what
God said to us, like he said, Iwould not have you be ignorant,
my brethren.
All right, you know, it's like.
You know, like, take it to thebank.
That's his will.
He doesn't want you to beignorant, he wants you to know
(48:11):
the truth.
He wants you to know that he isthe way, the truth and the life
.
So if you know that it's likeyou're not ignorant anymore, his
will, the way, the truth andthe life.
So if you know that it's likeyou're not ignorant anymore, his
will is that you would know him.
As well as that, you would havea life that is, uh, blessed
beyond measure.
You know that is a peace thatpasses understanding.
You know, like my goodness, wecan go deep on this oh yeah, you
can't and it gets me excitedtoo
Speaker 1 (48:30):
yeah I just think about all the ways that satan
just distracts us.
He distracts us with with.
He can distract us with our ownhopes and dreams.
I want my hopes and dreams tobe his hopes and dreams, Because
I can be really short-sighted,meaning I can be so
short-sighted that I'm like Iwant this certain kind of house.
He's like well, God might havesomething a thousand times
(48:53):
better for you, and it may be.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
There's a purpose behind it that you don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
And it may not be what you ever thought it was
going to be.
I've realized that my desireshave changed.
Like I just don't have to havecertain things anymore, the
things of earth have grownstrangely dim.
Speaker 2 (49:19):
What song is that?
Turn your eyes upon Jesus?
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
And that's truly what I want.
I want to deny myself and turnmy eyes to him, and I hope
that's what you all want.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
That's our desire for you.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
I don't, I don't know't know if, um, I hope that
there was somebody out therethat needed to hear this.
We needed to hear it, I think,um, because you know the things
that we're trying to accomplishand you know god.
God has given you all aministry, he's given you all a
purpose, and I want to see thathappen.
I, you know, believe that hehas enough blessings for all of
(50:01):
us.
Yeah, right, like you beingblessed, doesn't take away from
my blessing.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
No, right, it doesn't .
Speaker 1 (50:07):
Because he has a will and a perfect plan for every
single one of us, and if youwant to know what it is, I think
you need to start with denyingyourself.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
Seek his face.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
And we love you and we're so glad that you joined
with us again and we hope thatyou will share this, share the
podcast with others so that wecan have more.
Join in.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
And the.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Lord bless you and keep you and make his face shine
upon you, and we'll see younext time.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Amen.
Hi everyone and welcome to episode 8 of our
podcast.
We are excited to be here.
We always are excited to behere.
I'm a little tired.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I'm a little tired too.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I'm not going to lie, it's been a long day.
It's been a blessed day,thankful.
I still have my workout clotheson from running and doing the
exercise class this evening.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I've had three changes of clothes today because
I sweat pretty good in myrunning clothes, so I had to
change out.
I couldn't go around.
I stink more when I run thanyou do.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I don't know if it's a men thing or if it's a me
thing, because I sweat a wholelot more than you do.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
But you ran with me today and I'm thankful for that.
It was good we did.
We ran all over Sneed we did.
And you've done that before,but I haven't.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Yeah, I knew what to expect Most of the time when we
run.
You're not a fan of theunexpected.
You're not a fan of going downroads less traveled?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I'm not, but why is that?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Because you don't know where the dogs are and you
don't know where the dangers are, and I run off with this
confident, bolstered attitude.
And you're a little timid, Iwas slowly unaware.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
And then I'm like overanalyzing it all and then I
can't enjoy the run.
But anyway it ended up beinggood, a good run, a great day.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
It was a perfect run.
Like where we ran, we ended atthe exact amount of mileage that
we needed, without even reallyhaving to run a couple laps here
and there.
At the end it was really unique.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
It was good, but, yeah, episode 8.
So I don't really.
8 is the number of a newbeginning, I believe.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
New beginning.
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
And I guess this topic that we're going to talk
about today maybe it could,maybe it will start a new
beginning for you.
I feel like it can for me too.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
We're going to talk about denying ourselves today
and saying, no, that is.
It could be a touchy subjectfor you, or?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
You know, just saying no in general, it affects every
area of your life.
You know, any aspect that youare trying to do as a human,
saying no to things it it eitherhas to be a part of your, your
vocabulary, or you will say yesto everything, like that show,
yes man, or whatever that movieis.
I never watched it, but like hesaid yes to everything and wound
(02:19):
up doing all kinds of weirdthings, um, but saying no a lot
of times is is one of the harderthings to do in life, I think
it is, You'll feel like you'reletting people down If you say
no.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
You may take on too many things, but a lot of times
are like what we're talkingabout today is never telling
ourselves no, because we'respoiling ourselves rotten.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Um, but our cups.
Today.
I chose um for this topic thatwe're talking about is the
Christmas tree cake, becausethis is my Christmas tree cake
cup.
I think I had this made byChristy Beasley several
Christmases ago.
I love this cup.
I absolutely love Christmastree cakes.
(03:01):
They are not a part of my dietanymore, not at all, but I love
them always have.
I love that little crunch on it.
I've always loved them since Iwas a kid and, like to me, it's
not Christmas without theChristmas tree cake.
Um and so when I was pregnantwith Jude, I could eat these by.
(03:24):
I could eat these by the box ata time just thinking about that
now.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Oh my goodness, thank you, god, that he was a healthy
baby boy maybe that's thereason why he has so many little
Debbie wrappers in his bedroomall the time no, we don't really
even buy those anymore butanyway, this Christmas I denied
myself Christmas tree cakes.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Wait, you didn't have a single Christmas tree cake.
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Because we had some cheat.
Well, that's one of the thingsthat I was going to talk about
with my cup.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Okay, I have a little confession to make.
I chewed one and I spit it out.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Oh no, I remember that.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
And I know that sounds gross to people, but I
was just like but it also didn'thit the same way anymore, and
it's not because I'm sittinghere like trying to weigh a
certain amount.
I don't.
I don't even weigh, I don't.
I don't care about that.
It.
We really have just been a lotmore conscious about the
ingredients that we're puttingin our body because I I want to
try to prevent any diseases thatI possibly can.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, you can't prevent anything, and I'm not.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
God, he knows when it's my time.
I don't, but I do want to tryto take care of myself in the
time that he's given me.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
But the chewing up thing.
I'm going to go back to thatbecause it sounds gross but it's
funny.
But really a lot of the sugarythings that we eat and the
things that generally are notthe best for you, that taste
really really good.
The only time it actually doesanything for you is when it's in
your mouth that's what I.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
That's what I discovered I was like you know,
once I've swallowed it, it's notreally doing anything for me
anymore.
So I was like, well, I'm justgonna chew it, because that's
I'm just wanting that taste andthat feel.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
They need a Christmas tree bubble gum, christmas tree
cake gum.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Well, I don't think the gum is really that good
either.
You're still swallowing stuffAnyway.
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
So my cup's the Apple Barn, and this was a time.
Everyone loves the Apple Barnthat goes to Gatlinburg.
We love the Apple Barn and thatwas one of the times where that
we did not deny ourself on thislast Gatlinburg trip.
We went to Apple Barn and weate.
We ate Apple Barn.
We enjoyed it.
We ate the fritters, we ateeverything that was there.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
I didn't deny myself anything that I wanted there, we
didn't deny ourselves.
And then, you know, we'vealready talked about it.
We paid for it.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
We paid for it, like because our body wasn't used to
dig those chemicals or thoseproducts, and and when it, when
it hit, it hit hard yeah, and itnot in like explosive diarrhea.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I'm not afraid to use that word, it doesn't embarrass
me it didn't hit that way.
It hit in, it pain lag pain inmy legs fog I just, I can't even
explain how I felt, but it itwas like the flu this is yes
yeah, like the flu yeah's likewhen.
I guess maybe when you get offof carbs and you go through that
carb flu, it was like goingthrough that again.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
But worse.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, no bueno, I don't know, uh, so anyway.
So we're going up with the cups.
Denying herself yes.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Denying ourselves.
Uh, so in the, in the, the what?
The torah no, no new testament.
Oh my goodness, I was thinkingold new testament um, it's the,
the gospel, the gospel which isthe story of jesus, basically
his ministry here on earth, andwe have basically four different
accounts of it.
We have matthews, marks, luke'sjohn's so they all I.
(06:42):
I love it that we do get to seethose perspectives, because if
you and I are at the same place,we will see things differently.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Because we're going to pay attention to things
differently.
So I love how there are storiesand I call them stories.
They really did happen thefacts of Jesus's ministry, but I
love that a lot of them areparalleled.
You know like they'll all havethe same thing, but then you'll
have like maybe Mark sayssomething that nobody else does
(07:15):
mention.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
You know, I heard someone along that same line,
like that Mark says somethingthat someone else doesn't.
But there was a study donewhere they actually um, compared
the amount of variance in thegospel stories to like four
random people that experiencedthe same situation like a
shooting or or a robbery orsomething like that.
The amount of differences inopinions, the percentages of it
(07:40):
parallel matthew, martin, lukeand john, like the percentages
of difference in those becauseso.
So it proves it, furthermore,that those variances in their
stories actually legitimizestheir stories exactly.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
um well, this particular the verse of denying
yourself um, matthew, mark andluke all have the same when he
when jesus was talking to.
So we obviously know that allthree of them were present when
he was saying this and it waspivotal enough to them that
these three people wrote it down, that it needed to be logged,
(08:14):
that we needed to hear it.
And the verse goes and itbasically all says the same
thing, but I'm going to read itfrom each of them how they wrote
it down.
So Matthew 16, 24, if anyonewants to come after me, let him
deny himself and take up hiscross and follow me.
Luke 9, 23 says Whoever wantsto be my disciple must, must
(08:38):
deny themselves and take uptheir cross daily and follow me.
And then Mark says Whoeverwants to come after me and I
imagine that like just goingafter Jesus.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Let them deny themselves.
Take up his cross and follow me.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah, it's just slight variances in it, but
Definitely the same message.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, Okay so in all that, what does it mean to deny
yourself like, from yourperspective, cow?
And if?
I said what does it mean todeny yourself?
What would you say?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
um put someone else's priorities above mine, or um
take the thing that I desire andcompare it to what's best.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I'm not sure, sometimes we don't know what's
best.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
That was a face.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Whenever y'all see that on.
Youtube my face goes weird.
That's going to be a short.
Here comes Instagram reels.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Okay, Well, and obviously yes.
I do think that is what denyingyourself mean, and it can just
mean the simple word of no, no,no saying no no, okay, yeah and
uh.
No does not have to be anegative word, it can be very
positive.
So I, I was like, okay, so whatdoes it mean to deny ourselves?
(10:06):
It means saying no, well, whatdo we deny ourselves of?
Like, what are we needing todeny Our own will?
Obviously Okay.
Like we are, we're selfish.
I have always said, no matterwhat sin it is, no, you could
name any sin yeah adultery,fornication, murder,
(10:32):
covetousness, any of it and it'sall goes back to being selfish
self.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, we have a self problem.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Uh, every single one of us deal with this, uh, on a
daily basis, and so I think it'sso important for us to
understand that, when we wake upevery morning, the first thing
that we probably need to do isdeny ourselves, deny ourselves
automatically you're had.
Okay, like and let's say yourjob is so important, like, first
(11:03):
of all, you need the income,correct, people are expecting
you there.
You're going to get fired ifyou don't go eventually.
You might get a couple ofchances, depending on what it is
, but you deny yourself fromgetting out of that bed because
nobody wants to get out of bedin the morning.
I am a morning person.
(11:26):
I love getting up in the morning, but I still want to lay there
and sleep more yeah so youautomatically the you're having
to deny yourself of laying therebecause something is expected
of you, right?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
yeah okay I hit the snooze button, but there's only
so many times you can do thatbefore you got to say no, I
gotta, I gotta get, the shop hasto open yeah right, like the
beans have to get put into thegrinder, the espresso machine
has to be turned on, or later onin the day it's going to mess
everything up, right when it'swhen six o'clock hits.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Sharecroppers is not ready to open because you didn't
deny yourself and you laid inthe bed for longer than you
should have right, right, right.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
That doesn't happen.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
But um, that's just one scenario that I was thinking
about.
Okay, but let's so.
I brought this down into somethings that we need to deny
ourselves on.
Okay, and so the first thing Iwrote down was food.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Oh yeah, yeah, Food like that consumes.
We've talked about it before,you know, in one of our recent
episodes previous episodes wetalked about our diet, but like
food in general, like itconsumes so much of our human
mind because it's like one ofthe main necessities, you know,
like what are?
the three Food, shelter,clothing right?
You, basically, as a human, youneed those in order to survive.
(12:48):
So, that being one of the mainnecessities, it's the one that
we burn through the most.
Your shelter, once you build it, you establish it, it's there.
Your clothing, once you findthem and attain them, they're
there until they get worn out.
Food it's a constant variablein your life.
It's a constant variable inyour life.
It's a constant variable inyour existence.
So, when we put such a bigemphasis on it, you know it, it
makes it to where, like, that isthe thing that you most need
(13:11):
that day.
And you're going to be like,you're like, you're going to go
hunt it, you're going to gatherit, you're going to find it and
you're going to try to figure itout.
And in our society, just ingeneral, like humans have like
one in the world of struggle,like when it comes to like how
many advancements we have in oursociety, life is really easy
now, compared to most, almostany other generation.
(13:32):
You know it's very easy, it'svery lax, so it's not
necessarily.
If we're going to eat, it's howmuch?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
and what, and a lot of times when we've eaten a meal
, we're already thinking aboutwhat the next meal is going to
be yeah because food has becomeone of those things that gives
us, it gives us pleasure, like,or it gives us comfort, and food
has really turned from it's notgiving us fuel to our body,
(13:59):
it's, it's satisfying some kindof need inside of us, um, and so
a lot of times we just we don'tdeny ourselves that we're like
I'm gonna eat all of the wrongthings that that are really bad
for me.
Yeah, and you know, even to thepoint of, let's say that you
have a.
(14:20):
I've never understood this,like when it's easy to judge a
situation that you don'tstruggle with.
Okay.
So let's say, like smokingcigarettes.
That's always been one of thosethings that I've never
understood, because you knowit's bad for you.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I don't think anyone.
I've heard a few people thatI've worked around in like
industrial environments thatlike you know the chemicals and
the smoke and the dust and thatwe're exposed to, and then
there's there's smokingcigarettes, like there's only
been a few people that have saidI know what it's doing to me,
but my grandmother lived to be90 and she smoked two packs a
day, right, so like they saythings like that, but I don't
(14:59):
think there's anyone that'sgenuinely smokes that says I
believe this is a good thing forme no, you know they don't say
this is a good thing, but butthey don't, I don't.
But but me, from someone who'snever smoked or been addicted to
anything like that, it's hardfor me to like and I want to say
just stop, just stop, just stop.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
But I don't know what their struggle is you know, yes
, but when you turn that over toI'm a sugar addict like little
debbie.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Christmas tree cakes yeah, what's the difference?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
and not wanting to deny myself that, or knowing,
like, let's say that I'm adiabetic and you continually eat
the things that are going tomake your blood sugar rise or
fall, however that that works,you know, or whatever, or you're
going to eat this and take ashot later, but so you can have
it, and I don't mean this in ajudgmental way, because I don't
(15:52):
struggle with that.
I did struggle with wantingthat kind of food all the time,
and it had consequences on mybody.
No, I was not a diabetic, butit made me feel really bad.
I was sluggish, I was.
I was not meeting my potentialin my body.
No, I was not a diabetic, butit made me feel really bad.
I was sluggish, I was.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I was not meeting my potential in my body, you know
do you want to know somethingwhen it comes, when we're
talking about with our body?
But I was just thinking aboutthis.
You know, I had my wreck.
I fell asleep.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And there's been a lot of times where I would like
pull over and take naps on theway home from work on late
nights and things like that.
Like just stop at a gas stationbecause I couldn't hold my eyes
open.
You know, since we've beenreally focused on our diet, I
have not struggled with beingtired behind the wheel.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Well, I think that I mentioned that I don't know if
it was to you or if it wassomebody else.
I had a really hard timefalling asleep at the wheel when
I would go to get the kidsbecause, honestly, we're up at 3
30 in the morning and obviously, look, it's 11 0, 5 right now
and we're recording, so we don'tget a lot of sleep, and it is
(16:52):
something that we need to workon, because that's not healthy
to do that, and we're gettingbetter at it.
We're not doing every singlenight, but we do have times that
we're doing this, and so oursleep is we just don't get a lot
of it so before the diet,though before we changed what we
were eating, I was having avery hard time of staying awake
(17:13):
at the wheel to.
It was really scary, and so Istarted.
I picked up the habit ofchewing gum.
I was just trying to keepmyself alert, but then I was
like, hey, I'm not really havingto do that anymore.
I'm not feeling like I'm goingto fall asleep at the wheel
anymore, and I think it'sbecause of the better things
(17:33):
that we're putting in our body.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
It probably has something to do with the quality
of sleep too, not necessarilythe amount we do sleep so much
better.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Like when I go to bed , when my head hits the pillow
gone, I'm out, yeah it's, it's awonderful thing, but denying
yourself, uh, the think aboutthe things that you're eating
and think about the why you'reeating it, you know, um, is it
giving you some kind of comfort?
(18:01):
Is or we really should only eatfor fuel?
That's it.
It's just like when you you'renot going to go and put gas in
your car if the tank is full itdoesn't make sense to do that,
right and you're also not goingto go up to the gas station and
fill it with diesel if it's nota diesel right, yeah and so we
(18:23):
have to fuel our bodies with theright things, and I think
that's important.
And fasting comes in that.
You know as well.
That's a great way to denyyourself, just not eating at all
.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
You know, we've got a couple of customers and some
employees that are participatingin Lent this year and they're
denying themselves certainthings sure um, I know one of
them is sugars.
Um, two of them actually that Iknow of are denying themselves
any sweets and people denythemselves, uh, during lent.
It's like I think it's a 40-dayfast of something that you give
(18:57):
up, not necessarily a food fast, but it could be anything,
playstation, whatever you know.
Uh, and and and it know, andit's a denial.
That's basically all that is.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yes, and it's basically just to get your focus
off of yourself and that thingthat you're wanting and focusing
it all on who?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
God.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
God.
Okay, that's the whole point.
When he says deny himself, takeup his cross and follow me,
it's like don't be thinkingabout the food's, like don't be
thinking about the food anymore,don't be thinking about the
playstation anymore, don't bethinking about opening up your
social media apps all the timeyou know it's follow me.
Um, all right.
(19:35):
Another thing is I put down wasdenying ourselves with how we
spend our money.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
That's a hard one yeah, yeah, that we've been in
all kinds of different faces inour marriage, from, uh, the the
smallest paychecks to thelargest overtime paychecks and
and in every single one of those, it doesn't matter how much
money you have, it's very easyto spend it unwisely, it's very
easy to just to blow it or veryeasy for it to be like gone,
(20:03):
like the next day, and onceagain feeling like you deserve
something, because you haveworked so hard for it.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
And once again, I'm not saying that you're not
supposed to enjoy life or enjoythe money that you have, you
know.
But a lot of times we're notdenying ourselves that.
A lot of times we're notdenying ourselves that we
constantly feel like we've gotto eat out all the time, or that
we've got to have this type ofclothing or this type of car or
(20:32):
this type of house, and it'slike we're storing up treasures
for ourselves here and thisplace really doesn't matter,
like this earth is going to burnup one day and all of those
things with it.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I think that, yes, exactly that.
This earth is going to burn upand everything in it, and
everyone's.
I've heard it so many timeswhere people say, well, I can't
take it with me, so I might aswell spend it now.
Well, here's the thing, thatvery verse that he's talking
about saying deny yourself, takeup his cross daily and follow
me.
When you deny yourself ofspending the resources or using
the talents that God has givenyou and you don't use them for
(21:09):
yourself, you're able to usethem for the cause of the cross.
You're able to actually usethem for something that's going
to advance God's purpose for youin your life.
You want to do something forGod and intentionally do things
on purpose to reach other peopleor to minister to your family,
your kids, your husband, spousewhatever it is.
Deny yourself what you want?
(21:30):
Yes, spend it on things that'sgonna allow your family to
experience things.
Spend it on things that's gonnagive your self the ability to
be able to uh, enjoy life withyour family and with your
community and impact people'slives and we're preaching to the
choir.
We are 100 but, um, so I'velooked for like, like, how, how,
how can we with sharecroppers,you know, like with, with our
(21:53):
business, when we try to helpthings in the community?
Sometimes it doesn'tnecessarily come off that we can
support something all the way,but we try to collaborate, we
try to do things where we dofundraisers, we try to do things
where we have awarenesscampaigns, where we'll at least,
you know, like, post or shareor talk about, you know about
some of our resources that wehave to be able to help people
(22:15):
accomplish things or do things,and it's always a blessing, it
blesses our hearts so much touse what God has given us for
other people.
This platform in general, eventhe podcast, it's not for us.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
It's not.
I mean, we would really like tobe asleep right now.
I'm not lying.
No, not at all, it's true, Iwould like to be asleep, but I
love the opportunity of gettingto do this.
I just told you today I waslike I love doing the podcast.
I truly love it.
God's put a love in my heartfor it.
But you know, we do have todeny ourselves when it comes to
(22:52):
how we spend our money, and itcan be difficult, especially
usually in a relationship.
There's the spender and there'sthe saver, and so for that
spender it's going to be reallydifficult to deny themselves.
And I will also say this too,though the saver sometimes needs
to deny themselves and theyneed to spend the money.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yeah Right, that's another flip side of it.
It's easy to hold on to it toolong and not use it for what
God's?
I mean burying it in the sand,and when the master comes back
you ain't done nothing with it.
It's just as bad as spending iton something wasteful.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
So something that God laid on my heart, and I haven't
even shared this with you Oohjuicy.
Okay, and I mentioned this Idon't know if it was the last
episode it was the episode wherewe talked about excess.
Okay, was that last week or theweek before, anyway, and I was
talking about I had an obsessionwith clothes and I had so many
clothes and I would be sodogmatic and so focused on what
(23:49):
I was going to wear for Easterand and uh, and so I was
thinking about Easter's comingup, you know, and so I could
feel that same feeling comingback, like I'm already thinking
about it, like what am I goingto wear for Easter?
And once again, here was thatlittle devil on my shoulder.
You know, I don't know, but itneeds to be slam bam, devil on
(24:15):
my shoulder, you know, I don'tknow, but it needs to be slam
bam, okay.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
So I was thinking and I was like I know that I have
clothes in there.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Okay, all right and I was like I know a specific
dress that I've had probablyfour or five years ago for
Easter, and I've probably wornit twice and it was a really
nice dress that I spent somemoney on and I was like that's
your Easter dress.
(24:43):
I was like I'm going to deny.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Get it.
You're shocked right now.
No, that's good.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
I was like I'm going to deny myself going and
shopping for that, like I don'teven want that to have my focus,
like when it.
When it comes to easter sunday,I do not want my focus to be on
what we're wearing oh no, itcan't be.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
That's the entire reason why easter, I think, is
just so overlooked um and passedby in by in a lot of our kids'
eyes and our eyes.
We get so wrapped up in theholiday of Easter and not
necessarily the worship serviceof Easter.
I think, we really have got tobring it back and deny ourselves
(25:25):
the fun side of Easter as aworldly thing, even if you want
to disagree and say it's a paganholiday thing.
Even if you want to disagreeand say it's a pagan holiday,
and even if you want to throwall these past history things
and say it was all incorporatedand America did this and all
that, okay, pause, take a dayjust to focus on the
resurrection.
(25:45):
You don't even have to call itEaster.
It's an opportunity for us tocome together in our faith and
celebrate what Christ did for us.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Period that not only was he willing to die, but he
got back up again.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
You want to talk about ultimate denying yourself.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Oh, my goodness.
You know, yeah, and then wehave watered it down so much
that we care about the Easteroutfits that we're going to wear
.
I promise guys I'm not hatingon any of you.
We do Easter baskets, my dreamwas to open up this amazing
boutique and everything, and Iwas going to style people and
(26:25):
everything.
I love fashion I really do whenI played with my Barbies
growing up.
That's how I played with themwas fashion shows and things
like that.
So I'm really not against that.
What I'm saying is I wasexcessive with it.
It had become my identity andI've had to learn to deny myself
when it comes to that, and I'mneeding to deny myself in a lot
(26:46):
of things.
So I have no need to go Easterdress shopping.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
I will have to shop for my children because they've
grown.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
That's just, that's just, it is what it is, yeah,
yeah, and they but now if we canfind something, if someone's
got something in a size uh, I'mnot worried about whether it's
used or new or anything likethat.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
I'm just talking about that feeling that I want
to have a certain look for.
Easter.
It's just completely, it'sstupid I don't know another word
to say for it and it's juststupid, and I think that Satan
loves it.
It keeps the focus off of whatwe're actually there for, and
that's him.
So, um, I don't know if that'sa problem for you guys, and it's
okay to look nice on Easter andwant to dress nice for church.
(27:32):
I'm not hating on that.
I'm just saying what it wasbecoming for me.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Anything that you spend your time on like thinking
about something of yourself.
It occupies that part of yourlife.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
The amount of time you spend thinking about the
clothes, the amount of time youspend thinking about what you're
going to spend your money, onthe amount of time that you
spend thinking about food andplanning and prepping and doing
all this stuff.
It takes energy.
It takes part of your life.
It takes the opportunity foryou to use your time wisely,
right, right.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
And that brings us to our next one.
That I wrote down was time,like denying ourselves with how
we're spending our time.
We do not get time back.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
What's the phrase?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Netflix and chill.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yeah, doom scrolling.
That was another one that Isaid.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Oh yeah, and I was like what's doom scrolling?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
The tendency to open up an app, a social media
platform, and as soon as you'rehooked to it, you begin
scrolling, and you're doomed toscroll for forever.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I'm sure that all of us can raise our hands that we
have all fell victim to doomscrolling.
If we added up those minutes orthe time, it would probably be
quite embarrassing how muchwe've done that, because we were
talking about it today and wedoom scroll and yet we're like
don't have time to pray.
Oh yeah, yeah, yes, you do.
You're just not denyingyourself, because satan wants
(29:01):
you to think that taking time topray is a huge deal.
It's not.
I mean, it is like you'retalking to god.
It's a big deal talking to God,but he will make you feel like
you don't have time for that.
You've worked all day.
You've put all this energy intothis.
You deserve to just not thinkand to just mindlessly surf or
(29:27):
to scroll the social media or towatch this show, and maybe I
can hit you where it hurts heretoo.
Really think about what you'rewatching on TV as well what
you're allowing to enter yourmind.
It goes back to that littlesong that we heard when we were
kids oh be careful, little eyes,what you see.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
and ears what you hear.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
There's so much truth to that, you know.
But we don't deny ourselves.
We want to be entertained at nomatter what cost it is.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Yeah, my mom had a phrase garbage in, garbage out.
What you put into your life,what you put into your family's
household, is what's going tocome out of your life and out of
your household.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Same with food.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Food yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Same with the money.
Yep, yes, it all goes back to.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
And this isn't to like, obviously not to like
criticize anyone.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
We are preaching to ourselves.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah, for like you can't do social media or nothing
like that, but it's like what'syour intention behind it and
how much time are you spendingwith it?
Yes, is it something that'soccupying your time to the point
that you're being inactive forChrist, inactive for your
purpose?
For?
Speaker 1 (30:34):
your role in this life.
When I talk to people about um,they're telling me that they're
wanting to get into fitness, orthat they're wanting to read
their Bible or they're wantingto go to church more faithfully.
A lot of times, the excuse thatcomes up is I just don't have
time, and I just I don't believeit.
I believe that we all do havetime.
(30:56):
We make time for the thingsthat we want to do.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
It's just.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
We lack the ability of denying ourselves.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
When we deny ourselves, he raises it.
It goes back to the verse of Imust decrease and he will
increase right.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
And I want him to increase.
I definitely want myself todecrease because I don't know
what the heck I'm doing in thislife.
Yeah, it's a scale I'm messingit up all the time.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Your dad has that analogy of um, your, your flesh
and your spirit are like twodogs fighting.
Um, the one that's going to winis the one that you feed the
most.
That's right.
If you've got of your flesh andyour spirit are like two dogs
fighting, the one that's goingto win is the one that you feed
the most.
That's right.
If you've got a scrawny spiritand you've got a hardy, fleshly
dog, the fleshly dog is going towin.
You've got to feed your spirit,you've got to spend the time
(31:45):
and you've got to deny yourflesh and allow your spirit to
get strong.
That way, when you do go intothose battles and you are in
those fights, it has a betterchance of winning.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yes, and this might step on some toes, but you know
what we're doing with ourchildren being so involved in
this activity and that activitythat we're so worn down that
we're too tired to go to churchand so we're not being as
devoted to it because we'retired, because we've been at
this ball practice or that ballpractice or this dance recital
(32:13):
or this dance practice, and it'slike we're striving in all
these activities that our kidsare involved in.
We're never having dinner atthe table anymore and we wonder
why the family unit iscollapsing or why our churches
are getting slimmer and slimmer.
It's because we are not denyingourselves, we are.
(32:37):
We're spending it all of ourtime and energy on these
activities that we think aregoing to get our kids ahead in
life, because we want them to bethe best baseball player or the
best dancer or the best pianoplayer or whatever, and we're
really.
Are we doing that for them?
Are we doing it for us becausewe get such pride in seeing them
(33:00):
do that?
Speaker 2 (33:01):
well, like when jude's playing his piano and I'm
like I'm in awe, you know, veryeasily I could.
I could want to be like, okay,we're just we're going to invest
in you know lessons every day.
I could, I could want to belike, okay, we're just we're
going to invest in you knowlessons every day.
We're going to invest in, uh,putting you in in places to be
seen, you know and and itdoesn't matter.
It's not just you know aboutsports and stuff, but it's
(33:22):
anything that you take pride in,the you know worldly things.
Um, above and beyond, um,something that's healthy.
You know that requires more ofyour time that should be spent
elsewhere, Because you knowthere's not.
He's not going to be playinghis keyboard.
You know when he dies.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
No, he's not and he can.
You can look at anything as a.
Everything you do in life canbe a ministry.
Everything.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Everything.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Everything.
But it doesn't mean that ittakes the place of us actually
worshiping God or being in Hishouse or just being together as
a family, where you're not likeI don't know, just being
together, like if you're afamily of four, just sitting
together as a family of four andhaving that precious time
(34:12):
together because your kids youblink and they're going to be
older and they're going to beout of the house and you might
be like I'm going to miss thosedays at the ball field or
whatever.
You probably won't.
You probably won't.
You'll miss the times of whenyou were snuggled up on the
couch together.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Those are the times that you're going to miss.
We've talked about being moreintentional with our time that
we do have at home with ourfamily and with our kids and
actually really beingintentional about the amount of
time that we spend with them.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Well, there was a time when we were going here and
going there and we basicallytold our kids that they had to
pick things that that theywanted to do, and so, you know,
you, you tried a few thingsthere and there was a time there
where he was playing footballand in band at the same time.
It was horrendous.
Yeah, that was hard on ourfamily, like we weren't happy
(35:06):
family because we were runragged.
Yeah, like, and then you'regoing to, you're going to church
or you're missing churchbecause you literally have such
a lack of sleep because youcan't get everything done.
That's not living, that, andand I'm like who's benefiting in
all of this?
So, you know, we got to wherewe told our kids, you know you
(35:29):
got to pick something like sowhen judah's in cross country,
that's all he's doing is crosscountry and and he's training
for that, like it should, itshould dominate his time.
You know that one sport he doesdo piano, but that's one time a
week, you know yeah, but um,and then he uses that for
worship too.
(35:49):
And then he's in tennis rightnow.
But I will say, even with that,it's like you have the tennis
and you have the cross country.
There's still only one thatyou're going to be able to
completely focus on.
Like Jude plays tennis for fun,like he loves tennis, he really
trains hard in the runningaspect of it we don't have time
(36:13):
for him to train in both andit's okay yeah, because you
can't.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
You can't, like, have a two-hour run session one day
and then you have tennis lessonswith a professional that you
paid for to go to for two hoursthat same day and expect to get
any good results from one or theother.
Yes, you're going to have tofocus on one thing, and I guess
that's the thing about, like,when we're talking about denying
ourselves our time is like,where's your focus at?
You have to be able to focus onone thing at a time.
(36:42):
Um, multitasking I think thatphrase is bunk Um, what, what?
Instead of multitasking, whatit is, what it means is
splitting your attention and notgiving enough focus on either
thing.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
I used to think about when Jews started driving this
week.
That's a big change in ourfamily.
And when I came up to thefour-way for the first time in
Snead, where we live, there's acrazy four-way stop that it's
got turn lanes, merge lanes andnobody ever really thinks about
it until they get there, unlessyou're a local and you know
you've got to be on top of itand everyone gets confused when
(37:15):
they go through there and a lotof anger has happened at that
four-way.
So going through there withJude, I was telling him, you
know, like at his age, with someof the things he does, you have
to split your attention to beable to focus on so many aspects
, to go through this four-way,stop and not hit someone or not
make anyone mad, you know, andget the bird right.
(37:37):
So you've got to focus on somany things.
And really, can we focus onthat many things?
We actually only focus on onething at a time and try to
compile it as the best possiblescenario, right, um, and then
you go, you know, and you hopethat everything you didn't miss
something yes but when it comesto how much attention we have in
(37:58):
our life to give to people andto give to god, and to give to
the world and give to our flesh,you've got to understand that
your priority of what you focuson, if it's not god, first, and
if it's not your family, second,and if it's not your, you know,
and if it's not your family,second, and if it's not your,
you know what I'm saying.
Like your, your, your, yourpriorities will get mixed up.
And it's very easy to mix themup because our flesh is selfish.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yes, and we need to crucify it every single day,
because our self is selfish andit does not know what's best for
us.
It thinks it knows what's bestfor us, like it's going to tell
me the Christmas tree cake isgood for you.
It's not, it's not good for meand I need to deny myself that
(38:45):
part.
And it's you know.
I did a run Saturday and I'm intraining for that half marathon
, so I have specific things thatI'm having to do each day.
Well, on Saturday, I wassupposed to do an easy eight
miles.
It's a longer run, but I alsohad this 5K that I was
(39:07):
registered for.
I registered for the 5K before Ireally started this training
and I wanted to be at the 5kbecause I wanted to support the
cause yeah, the people that hadorganized it.
I just really wanted to bethere for support yeah, good
people, good reason so I'mextremely competitive person,
(39:31):
would you you say that I am?
Speaker 2 (39:31):
That's the entire 100%.
I was talking with someone theother day.
That's the reason why you ever,ever fell in love with running
is because you saw thecompetitive side of it.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Probably that is true , and I have said so many times
when I've been doing this halfmarathon training and vlogging
it, which I'm still like, timeswhen I've been doing this half
marathon training and vloggingit, which I'm still like why am
I doing this?
Why am I making these videosevery day and telling what I'm
doing?
But I see things that he keepsteaching me in each of these
(40:02):
runs that I'm doing, becausesome of them are extremely
difficult and then some are justso easy.
But on this particular day, iteverything inside of me wants to
win, and when I mean when, Imean like doing my best, okay so
(40:22):
, and I would like to place inmy age group now being overall
woman winner.
That would be like amazing,amazing.
That is much more difficult toachieve.
I have achieved it like twicein my whole life winning an
overall woman.
So when I went though I hadactually even told you I said
(40:47):
I'm not going to race it.
Yeah, I had my doubts and I feltlike I needed to vocalize that
to you as an accountability thatI was like I'm not going to
race it, I'm going to run thethree miles, because that's what
a 5K is is 3.1 miles, and whenI cross to the finish line I'm
just going to keep running anddo my.
(41:08):
Oh, actually, I think I had torun seven miles and run four
more I'll, just because it wasgoing to be at appalachian high
school and I was like I'll findsomewhere around there that I
can run around a football fieldor something.
I'll just keep running.
And so we're there and theenergy is up, okay, and I have
some of my.
The.
The running community is justso loving and we're all
(41:30):
supportive of one another andthey saw some of the things that
I'm doing and some of them werelike, oh, she's going to beat
us all, okay, and so then whenyou have that talk happening,
you're like, oh, I want a race.
I want a race, I want a race.
And I thought that I had it inme too, you know, like I wasn't
like sore or anything like don'tdo it, don't do it, don't do it
(41:54):
, don't do it, don't do it,don't do it and it's like I felt
like something was really justhaving to hold me back.
And then I was just like denyyourself this.
No, you're not going to race it, you're going to hang at the
back.
I've never done that, I'venever just easy ran a race.
And so when it got time for thestart, um, I wasn't up closer
(42:18):
to the front, I was at the back,you know, and even then, even I
even at the back, I was like,okay, I'm gonna start out slow,
but if I think I can do this,I'm gonna pass people okay, and
so there was one, uh, one otherperson there and she was
motioning me to come up there tothe front where she was, and I
was like, no, I'm good you knowback here, and so I did.
(42:42):
I ran the whole thing at a veryeasy pace and I had so much fun
and I was like, but I did haveto deny myself that.
Um, I guess the pride honestlylaying down the selfish pride of
wanting to place or anythinglike that.
(43:04):
Proof to yourself that you couldyes and your brother was
running and he's definitelyworking on getting his time down
and every race he runs he getsbetter and better.
So I eventually started comingup on him, you know, or whatever
, and I think it took him bysurprise that you were behind
him.
Yeah, he's like whoa like,where did you come from?
(43:24):
You know?
You're just so fast, caleb andsee, and then, even then, like
he was pushing himself yeah sohis pushing himself pace was my
easy pace, but was that neat to.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
was that neat to be able to see him pushing himself
like that, though like in themiddle of the run, because it's
not like he's running by you,you're running with him.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
And he's sitting there and he's pushing with
everything that he has, andthat's exactly how I feel when
I'm running my race pace.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
You know, but I do remember a time when that was my
race pace too.
Yeah do remember a time whenthat was my race pace too.
Yeah, you know, so you just youadvance, so it takes.
It takes years, it takes time.
But I did have to deny myselftrying to, uh, win that race or
win an age group or whatever,just just running my best.
But I realized that evenrunning slower, I was running my
(44:14):
best.
That was that's what I neededto do that day.
And I was being obedient to thetraining you know, Um, and I
think a lot of denying herselfdoes come down to humbling
ourself.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yeah, you know because you're, because God
knows what's best for you.
He knows what you need, heknows what provisions you need
on this earth.
He knows exactly what you'regoing to need to get you through
physically, mentally,spiritually.
You know the whole kit andcaboodle.
You can't get any better thangod's knowledge of who you are,
because he created you and youknow.
(44:48):
And denying your yourself, uh,the things that are gonna that
you like.
You think if I deny myselfsomething, it's an, it's a
denial of something, that is, Iwould rather do something.
So I'm going to deny myselfwhat I would rather do yes but
in your situation, you'redenying.
You're denying yourself what youthought was best for you.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
But what was really best for you was exactly what
you were doing yes, and Ithought about it when, because
that was my slow and easier pacelong run, which was seven miles
, um, and I'm so glad that I didthat, because I was like if I
had thrown out that, thrown outthat training that I was
supposed to do and just went,pushed it really hard when I had
(45:33):
to do my hard run on Monday, Iwould not have been able to do
it because I would have beensore from pushing myself on that
Saturday.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
It was hard enough.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
It was really hard run and I did it.
I was able to do it, but I waslike God.
I'm so thankful.
I'm so thankful that I wasobedient to that and that I did
deny myself.
You know, it's even in themodel prayer like denying
yourself and searching for hiswill is so important that he put
(46:05):
it in the model prayer for uswhen it comes to, because the
disciples says how do we pray?
How do we pray?
And he said pray like this ourfather in heaven, hallowed be
thy name.
So immediately you areacknowledging God and who he is
and how amazing he is, how holyhe is that there is none like
(46:26):
him.
Your kingdom come, your will bedone.
God.
I know that Jesus put that inthere, because Jesus knows that
we are needing to pray for hiswill every single day.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Because we're having to fight against our own will.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Yeah, well, it's a.
He says you have to submit tome.
You know you have.
It's not necessarily 100% thatyou're denying yourself, but
more that you are submitting tohim and saying that all the
desires I have come second.
What do you desire he?
Speaker 1 (47:05):
says there is none good.
No, not one.
We are not good, we are notable to be good.
If there's any good that comesout of us, it's Him, and so
that's why we are constantlyneeding to deny ourselves and
yield ourselves to His will.
It says your will be done onearth as it is in heaven.
(47:30):
So it's like what His will isup there.
I want it here we were talkingabout that and I'm fighting for
it.
I will beat myself up If I needto punch myself in the face to
have his will be done.
That's what I want.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
So think about this If his will okay, talking about
his will in heaven is his willon earth.
And if we look at what his wordsays, these promises of what
God said to us, like he said, Iwould not have you be ignorant,
my brethren.
All right, you know, it's like.
You know, like, take it to thebank.
That's his will.
He doesn't want you to beignorant, he wants you to know
(48:11):
the truth.
He wants you to know that he isthe way, the truth and the life
.
So if you know that it's likeyou're not ignorant anymore, his
will, the way, the truth andthe life.
So if you know that it's likeyou're not ignorant anymore, his
will is that you would know him.
As well as that, you would havea life that is, uh, blessed
beyond measure.
You know that is a peace thatpasses understanding.
You know, like my goodness, wecan go deep on this oh yeah, you
can't and it gets me excitedtoo
Speaker 1 (48:30):
yeah I just think about all the ways that satan
just distracts us.
He distracts us with with.
He can distract us with our ownhopes and dreams.
I want my hopes and dreams tobe his hopes and dreams, Because
I can be really short-sighted,meaning I can be so
short-sighted that I'm like Iwant this certain kind of house.
He's like well, God might havesomething a thousand times
(48:53):
better for you, and it may be.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
There's a purpose behind it that you don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
And it may not be what you ever thought it was
going to be.
I've realized that my desireshave changed.
Like I just don't have to havecertain things anymore, the
things of earth have grownstrangely dim.
Speaker 2 (49:19):
What song is that?
Turn your eyes upon Jesus?
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
And that's truly what I want.
I want to deny myself and turnmy eyes to him, and I hope
that's what you all want.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
That's our desire for you.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
I don't, I don't know't know if, um, I hope that
there was somebody out therethat needed to hear this.
We needed to hear it, I think,um, because you know the things
that we're trying to accomplishand you know god.
God has given you all aministry, he's given you all a
purpose, and I want to see thathappen.
I, you know, believe that hehas enough blessings for all of
(50:01):
us.
Yeah, right, like you beingblessed, doesn't take away from
my blessing.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
No, right, it doesn't .
Speaker 1 (50:07):
Because he has a will and a perfect plan for every
single one of us, and if youwant to know what it is, I think
you need to start with denyingyourself.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
Seek his face.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
And we love you and we're so glad that you joined
with us again and we hope thatyou will share this, share the
podcast with others so that wecan have more.
Join in.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
And the.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Lord bless you and keep you and make his face shine
upon you, and we'll see younext time.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Amen.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.