April 22, 2025 • 9 mins
Ever catch yourself so deep in building systems that your team starts to rely on you for every single decision? That’s exactly where I found myself this morning—a classic “lights on” moment that flipped the script for how I lead and grow my business as a work from anywhere real estate agent.
Today, I’m peeling back the curtain on the blind spots I never knew were holding me—and my team—back. From wrestling with delegation to realizing the true power of teaching others to think and build like you do, this episode doesn’t shy away from the messiness of leadership. I share the simple framework I’m now using to turn weaknesses into strengths, both for myself and my remote team, and why building people matters far more than obsessing over perfect systems.
We also dive into practical strategies for helping VAs and new hires move from unconscious incompetence to real confidence—plus, the ripple effect it’s sparking in our team culture. Curious about creating a more empowered and resilient team (without burning out or micromanaging)? You won’t want to miss these insights.
Let’s talk honestly about growth, leverage, and what it takes to step out of your own way as a real estate entrepreneur. As always, you’re invited to continue the conversation with us in the Business Systems for Realtors Facebook group—see you there!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Alexa (00:01):
In today's episode, we are talking about something that
is I don't even know how toexplain.
In this sense, this issomething that I've realized is
a blind spot of my own.
So I've spent so much timefocused on systems right, I've
been the one building thesystems and then really focusing
(00:22):
on having my team membersexecute those systems, and so
the problem with that is thatthey start to rely on me to be
the person to make all thedecisions right, and so whenever
we run into an issue, it endsup coming back to me and then
I'm the one solving the issue.
And so a couple weeks ago, Ihad this random epiphany and it
wasn't like I was doing anythingspecific, but it was one of
(00:43):
those moments where it was likea download from God that was
like, hey, pay attention to this.
And what that came down to wasthat I realized that I needed to
step off of my soapbox ofsystems and really focus on
leverage and focus on getting myleverage to be the ones to
build the systems.
And so I've been super adamantabout the fact that when you
(01:04):
bring in a VA, typically theyare not going to be very good at
building systems.
They're going to be great atexecuting systems, and so that
is something where I'm stillfiguring out how to find the
balance between the two, becauseI have found that once you give
them the foundation and theystart to understand how the
systems work and how they allcome together, then at that
(01:26):
point, when you're starting tostretch, then you can teach them
how to think like you and howto build systems.
But I still stand by the factthat when you're bringing people
into your world, unless you'rewilling to pay them a ridiculous
salary to be the ones that aredoing the heavy lifting when it
comes to the thinking and thebuilding and the systems and all
that fun stuff, and you want tobring somebody in with a system
(01:47):
already underneath them, andthen, once they've sort of
mastered that system, then youcan start stretching and saying,
okay, like now, let's startbuilding on top of it.
But you can't bring somebody in, especially in a low paid
position, like a VA, withoutgiving them something to build
off of.
So that's been my biggest kindof thing up until now.
And then, like I said, once theystart to get really good at
(02:09):
that, where there's a sort ofmodel of personal development
that goes from what's calledunconscious incompetence, which
means you don't know that youdon't know something.
Think of it as like a blindspot for you, something that
maybe has been holding you back,but you don't really know what
it is.
And typically, I find the besttwo ways to identify your blind
(02:32):
spots are number one look forthe things that you're resisting
.
Right, because things thatyou're resisting are usually
because you're not good at themor there's something that you
feel like you don't know, orthere's something you don't know
how to do, and so you end upsort of self-sabotaging,
procrastinating and looking forways to avoid that thing.
And the second is gettingfeedback right, asking people
(02:53):
like, okay, I'm stuck on thisthing, I need help figuring out
where I or what I'm missing,where I'm falling short, and
being really open to hearingthat feedback, and they'll tell
you what your blind spots are.
Obviously, it has to be someonewho is educated enough to be
able to give feedbackconstructively, to be able to
(03:13):
see the whole picture, all thatfun stuff.
But I'm being really sort ofpractical here.
Those two things right is lookfor the things you're resisting
and then look for feedback andyou'll find your blind spots.
And you're not going to findthem all at one time.
It's not like this is aone-time exercise, this is
something just ongoing.
Then, once you've identifiedwhat your blind spots are, then
you've sort of revealed them inthe light, right.
(03:33):
And so then it becomes aconscious incompetence, meaning
you recognize that you don'tknow how to do something, you
recognize that you'reincompetent at a specific thing
and I know that that wordincompetent is going to be
triggering for some people, butif we're really honest, not
knowing how to do something isan incompetence, and we all have
them, right.
Like I am incompetent when itcomes to football, like I don't
(03:53):
know anything about footballother than you catch a ball, you
run it down the field, right,like that's, that's pretty much
it.
So we all have things thatwe're just super incompetent
about, and when we can removethe emotional reaction that we
have around that word or aroundthat thing, then we can start to
move forward from it, right?
So now we know okay, I don'tknow something.
(04:13):
So let's start putting togethera plan for A how to learn what
we need to learn in order to getgood at that thing, and B how
do we develop a process so thatit happens every time?
And so those two things thelearning and the doing, or the
learning and the testing.
I would say that brings you intoconscious competence, meaning
(04:34):
this is when you know how to dosomething, but it probably takes
a lot of effort, right?
It's something that you have tothink about.
It's something that requires alot of decision making.
It takes a lot of brainpower toreally think through the
process, to remember how to doall of it.
This is where SOPs come intoplay.
This is where checklists andemail templates and all those
things really come into play,because you're focusing on doing
(04:56):
it right, but it takes effortto be able to do it right.
And then the fourth step of thisis unconscious competence,
meaning you do it without eventhinking about it right, and so
this is where you sort ofinternalize things.
It becomes your intuition.
You don't really know how youknow this.
You don't really remember theexact process, right.
(05:17):
It's not something that youjust have to sit there and think
about.
You just kind of do it.
Think about breathing, thinkabout brushing your teeth when
you wake up in the morning, youcan kind of just do it on
autopilot riding a bike, drivinga car, all those things where
you're, where you know, like youknow those times when you've
been driving and you're like Idon't even know how I made it
home because you've just beenlike spaced out the whole time.
That is an unconsciouscompetence, right.
(05:38):
And so when we can be reallyconscious of for ourselves
number one, like takingourselves through that journey,
what is our unconsciousincompetence, and then taking it
through that process ofbringing it to an unconscious
competence, that is the journey.
Then, when we really masteredthat, then taking it down to our
team members and saying, okay,let's work on revealing those
(06:00):
blind spots and then taking themup through that ladder so that
it becomes unconsciouscompetence and think about the
loyalty, think about the culturethat you build when that is the
mindset that you take your teammembers through.
And so that has become really aframework that I've focused so
heavily on with my team members.
And I have to tell you, intalking about this and really
(06:22):
relating it to a growth plan,like not just saying, hey, let's
reveal all your blind spots andlet's pick on all the things
you're not good at, but focusingon like, okay, the reason we're
doing this is so that we cantake you through that ladder and
identify those blind spots andmake them strengths of yours and
really understanding, like,what do you want out of this
role?
I have to tell you, I did thisexercise with my team a few
(06:44):
weeks ago and, oh my God, theystarted reaching out and being
like, hey, I want to learn howto do this.
Hey, I don't feel like I'm goodat this.
Hey, can you help me with this?
Hey, like I need to build myskills around this.
So most of my conversations withmy team at this point have been
really focused around likegetting them into trainings and
all those things where they areloving this aspect of it, where
(07:05):
they don't feel like they'rebeing put on the spot for not
knowing something, but insteadempowered to turn that weakness
into something that's a strength.
And for some of them, they'veeven told me like hey, I want to
be in this particular role.
Like great, let's startbuilding your skills so that we
can get you into that role.
And that is how they've and Ihave to say I've seen the
culture shifts in our team fromthat one exercise almost
(07:27):
completely shift.
And so now I'm thinking about,like more ways that I can give
them the frameworks and themental models that I use to make
decisions and I use to grow thebusiness in helping them
implement those in their ownpersonal lives, and so now,
stepping out of this, I need tobe the one to build the systems
and instead being like I need tobuild the people and let the
(07:51):
people build the systems.
That is my new soapbox.
That is the thing that I'mrecognizing is, more than
anything, holding me back andkeeping me stagnant in my
business, and that's where thisthere's another great book
called a CEO does three things,and it's people, culture and
numbers, right.
And so think about the peopleare your leverage, the culture
(08:13):
is how they feel about yourbusiness, and the numbers is the
KPIs, the profit margin, allthat fun stuff, right.
And so focusing on those threethings becomes all about the
leverage rather than focusing onthe systems, and so obviously,
I'm still going to talk aboutthe systems.
I think it'll be fun to evenbring my team members on here to
talk about the systems thatthey're building and the systems
that we're building together,right, because it's not just me
(08:35):
handing it off to them andsaying, okay, like I'm not doing
this anymore, it's acollaborative effort, so I can
teach them how to think in theform of systems and then, as
they sort of prove that theyunderstand, they prove that
they're capable, they prove thatthey get it, they prove they
want it, they prove they havethe capacity for it.
Then that's where I start to say, okay, I can take my hands off
(08:56):
of this, right, but that is thenext journey.
And typically I find that whenI go through a mindset culture
shift like this, it takes aboutsomewhere between like 12 and 18
months for the transformationto fully come into play.
And so, with that in mind,that's the episode for today.
I hope that there's some kindof nugget in here, and as you're
starting to build with yourtransaction coordinator, your
(09:18):
showing agent, your virtualassistant, like you may have to
be the person to build thesystems for the meantime, but as
you start to grow and as youreach a point where you say,
okay, I'm now at the point whereI need to focus on leverage,
focus on the talent rather thanfocusing on the systems.
That's where you can start tolet go.
So, with that in mind, that'sthe episode for today and, as
(09:38):
always, please join us in ourdaily Facebook discussion in the
business systems for realtorsFacebook group, and I will see
you in the next episode.
In today's episode, we are talking about something that
is I don't even know how toexplain.
In this sense, this issomething that I've realized is
a blind spot of my own.
So I've spent so much timefocused on systems right, I've
been the one building thesystems and then really focusing
(00:22):
on having my team membersexecute those systems, and so
the problem with that is thatthey start to rely on me to be
the person to make all thedecisions right, and so whenever
we run into an issue, it endsup coming back to me and then
I'm the one solving the issue.
And so a couple weeks ago, Ihad this random epiphany and it
wasn't like I was doing anythingspecific, but it was one of
(00:43):
those moments where it was likea download from God that was
like, hey, pay attention to this.
And what that came down to wasthat I realized that I needed to
step off of my soapbox ofsystems and really focus on
leverage and focus on getting myleverage to be the ones to
build the systems.
And so I've been super adamantabout the fact that when you
(01:04):
bring in a VA, typically theyare not going to be very good at
building systems.
They're going to be great atexecuting systems, and so that
is something where I'm stillfiguring out how to find the
balance between the two, becauseI have found that once you give
them the foundation and theystart to understand how the
systems work and how they allcome together, then at that
(01:26):
point, when you're starting tostretch, then you can teach them
how to think like you and howto build systems.
But I still stand by the factthat when you're bringing people
into your world, unless you'rewilling to pay them a ridiculous
salary to be the ones that aredoing the heavy lifting when it
comes to the thinking and thebuilding and the systems and all
that fun stuff, and you want tobring somebody in with a system
(01:47):
already underneath them, andthen, once they've sort of
mastered that system, then youcan start stretching and saying,
okay, like now, let's startbuilding on top of it.
But you can't bring somebody in, especially in a low paid
position, like a VA, withoutgiving them something to build
off of.
So that's been my biggest kindof thing up until now.
And then, like I said, once theystart to get really good at
(02:09):
that, where there's a sort ofmodel of personal development
that goes from what's calledunconscious incompetence, which
means you don't know that youdon't know something.
Think of it as like a blindspot for you, something that
maybe has been holding you back,but you don't really know what
it is.
And typically, I find the besttwo ways to identify your blind
(02:32):
spots are number one look forthe things that you're resisting
.
Right, because things thatyou're resisting are usually
because you're not good at themor there's something that you
feel like you don't know, orthere's something you don't know
how to do, and so you end upsort of self-sabotaging,
procrastinating and looking forways to avoid that thing.
And the second is gettingfeedback right, asking people
(02:53):
like, okay, I'm stuck on thisthing, I need help figuring out
where I or what I'm missing,where I'm falling short, and
being really open to hearingthat feedback, and they'll tell
you what your blind spots are.
Obviously, it has to be someonewho is educated enough to be
able to give feedbackconstructively, to be able to
(03:13):
see the whole picture, all thatfun stuff.
But I'm being really sort ofpractical here.
Those two things right is lookfor the things you're resisting
and then look for feedback andyou'll find your blind spots.
And you're not going to findthem all at one time.
It's not like this is aone-time exercise, this is
something just ongoing.
Then, once you've identifiedwhat your blind spots are, then
you've sort of revealed them inthe light, right.
(03:33):
And so then it becomes aconscious incompetence, meaning
you recognize that you don'tknow how to do something, you
recognize that you'reincompetent at a specific thing
and I know that that wordincompetent is going to be
triggering for some people, butif we're really honest, not
knowing how to do something isan incompetence, and we all have
them, right.
Like I am incompetent when itcomes to football, like I don't
(03:53):
know anything about footballother than you catch a ball, you
run it down the field, right,like that's, that's pretty much
it.
So we all have things thatwe're just super incompetent
about, and when we can removethe emotional reaction that we
have around that word or aroundthat thing, then we can start to
move forward from it, right?
So now we know okay, I don'tknow something.
(04:13):
So let's start putting togethera plan for A how to learn what
we need to learn in order to getgood at that thing, and B how
do we develop a process so thatit happens every time?
And so those two things thelearning and the doing, or the
learning and the testing.
I would say that brings you intoconscious competence, meaning
(04:34):
this is when you know how to dosomething, but it probably takes
a lot of effort, right?
It's something that you have tothink about.
It's something that requires alot of decision making.
It takes a lot of brainpower toreally think through the
process, to remember how to doall of it.
This is where SOPs come intoplay.
This is where checklists andemail templates and all those
things really come into play,because you're focusing on doing
(04:56):
it right, but it takes effortto be able to do it right.
And then the fourth step of thisis unconscious competence,
meaning you do it without eventhinking about it right, and so
this is where you sort ofinternalize things.
It becomes your intuition.
You don't really know how youknow this.
You don't really remember theexact process, right.
(05:17):
It's not something that youjust have to sit there and think
about.
You just kind of do it.
Think about breathing, thinkabout brushing your teeth when
you wake up in the morning, youcan kind of just do it on
autopilot riding a bike, drivinga car, all those things where
you're, where you know, like youknow those times when you've
been driving and you're like Idon't even know how I made it
home because you've just beenlike spaced out the whole time.
That is an unconsciouscompetence, right.
(05:38):
And so when we can be reallyconscious of for ourselves
number one, like takingourselves through that journey,
what is our unconsciousincompetence, and then taking it
through that process ofbringing it to an unconscious
competence, that is the journey.
Then, when we really masteredthat, then taking it down to our
team members and saying, okay,let's work on revealing those
(06:00):
blind spots and then taking themup through that ladder so that
it becomes unconsciouscompetence and think about the
loyalty, think about the culturethat you build when that is the
mindset that you take your teammembers through.
And so that has become really aframework that I've focused so
heavily on with my team members.
And I have to tell you, intalking about this and really
(06:22):
relating it to a growth plan,like not just saying, hey, let's
reveal all your blind spots andlet's pick on all the things
you're not good at, but focusingon like, okay, the reason we're
doing this is so that we cantake you through that ladder and
identify those blind spots andmake them strengths of yours and
really understanding, like,what do you want out of this
role?
I have to tell you, I did thisexercise with my team a few
(06:44):
weeks ago and, oh my God, theystarted reaching out and being
like, hey, I want to learn howto do this.
Hey, I don't feel like I'm goodat this.
Hey, can you help me with this?
Hey, like I need to build myskills around this.
So most of my conversations withmy team at this point have been
really focused around likegetting them into trainings and
all those things where they areloving this aspect of it, where
(07:05):
they don't feel like they'rebeing put on the spot for not
knowing something, but insteadempowered to turn that weakness
into something that's a strength.
And for some of them, they'veeven told me like hey, I want to
be in this particular role.
Like great, let's startbuilding your skills so that we
can get you into that role.
And that is how they've and Ihave to say I've seen the
culture shifts in our team fromthat one exercise almost
(07:27):
completely shift.
And so now I'm thinking about,like more ways that I can give
them the frameworks and themental models that I use to make
decisions and I use to grow thebusiness in helping them
implement those in their ownpersonal lives, and so now,
stepping out of this, I need tobe the one to build the systems
and instead being like I need tobuild the people and let the
(07:51):
people build the systems.
That is my new soapbox.
That is the thing that I'mrecognizing is, more than
anything, holding me back andkeeping me stagnant in my
business, and that's where thisthere's another great book
called a CEO does three things,and it's people, culture and
numbers, right.
And so think about the peopleare your leverage, the culture
(08:13):
is how they feel about yourbusiness, and the numbers is the
KPIs, the profit margin, allthat fun stuff, right.
And so focusing on those threethings becomes all about the
leverage rather than focusing onthe systems, and so obviously,
I'm still going to talk aboutthe systems.
I think it'll be fun to evenbring my team members on here to
talk about the systems thatthey're building and the systems
that we're building together,right, because it's not just me
(08:35):
handing it off to them andsaying, okay, like I'm not doing
this anymore, it's acollaborative effort, so I can
teach them how to think in theform of systems and then, as
they sort of prove that theyunderstand, they prove that
they're capable, they prove thatthey get it, they prove they
want it, they prove they havethe capacity for it.
Then that's where I start to say, okay, I can take my hands off
(08:56):
of this, right, but that is thenext journey.
And typically I find that whenI go through a mindset culture
shift like this, it takes aboutsomewhere between like 12 and 18
months for the transformationto fully come into play.
And so, with that in mind,that's the episode for today.
I hope that there's some kindof nugget in here, and as you're
starting to build with yourtransaction coordinator, your
(09:18):
showing agent, your virtualassistant, like you may have to
be the person to build thesystems for the meantime, but as
you start to grow and as youreach a point where you say,
okay, I'm now at the point whereI need to focus on leverage,
focus on the talent rather thanfocusing on the systems.
That's where you can start tolet go.
So, with that in mind, that'sthe episode for today and, as
(09:38):
always, please join us in ourdaily Facebook discussion in the
business systems for realtorsFacebook group, and I will see
you in the next episode.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
True Crime Tonight
If you eat, sleep, and breathe true crime, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT is serving up your nightly fix. Five nights a week, KT STUDIOS & iHEART RADIO invite listeners to pull up a seat for an unfiltered look at the biggest cases making headlines, celebrity scandals, and the trials everyone is watching. With a mix of expert analysis, hot takes, and listener call-ins, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT goes beyond the headlines to uncover the twists, turns, and unanswered questions that keep us all obsessed—because, at TRUE CRIME TONIGHT, there’s a seat for everyone. Whether breaking down crime scene forensics, scrutinizing serial killers, or debating the most binge-worthy true crime docs, True Crime Tonight is the fresh, fast-paced, and slightly addictive home for true crime lovers.