Your Confidence Wasn't Lost—It Was Stolen

Send us a text

Your confidence wasn't lost, it was stolen through subtle moments of criticism, comparison, and cultural conditioning. We're planning a confidence heist to reclaim our power through deliberate action and supportive community.

• Confidence theft happens gradually through critical teachers, social media comparison, gaslighting bosses, and cultural programming
• The 4-step confidence heist plan: case the joint, assemble your crew, take action before feeling ready, and secure your wins
• Confidence comes from doing things while shaky, not from waiting until you feel ready
• Guard your reclaimed confidence by limiting access to undermining people and documenting your wins
• The 7-day confidence heist plan includes identifying thieves, celebrating wins, and taking imperfect action
• Create a confidence folder with evidence of your capabilities to reference when self-doubt creeps in

Hit subscribe, leave a review, and tag me at SheIgnitesCandleCo so I can hype you up. Remember, the world doesn't need a quieter version of you, it needs the bold, blazing, fully expressed you.

www.sheignitescandleco.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sheignitescandleco/

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thekarilowe

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1MLVk3uvJp/

email: [e-mail]

Post-production editing by SoulFlow Studios - https://soulflowstudios.com/

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:04):
Welcome to G Ignite, the podcast where we burn the
rule book, dig up the goods, andlight up the lives we were meant
to lead.
I'm your host, Carrie Lowe,candlemaker, confidence dealer,
and your favorite fire starter.
Around here, we speak boldly,dream wildly, and show up messy
and magical.

(00:24):
If you're done playing small andready to own your own spark,
you're in the right damn place.
Now let's get lit.

(00:46):
Welcome back to my favorite FireStarters.
Here at She Ignites, where wedon't just talk about
empowerment, we take it backwith interest.

Today's mission (00:56):
The confidence heist, the stealthy, deliberate
act of reclaiming the power youwere born with.
But somewhere along the way,someone stole.
If you've ever felt like you'rejust not confident anymore or
you're waiting to feel ready, Ineed you to hear me.
That confidence wasn't lost, itwas taken, and we're going to

(01:21):
steal it back.
So I want to share a story withyou one instance where I
realized my confidence waswrong.
I could tell you the exactmoment I knew it had been
hijacked.
I was standing in a meeting roomfull of coworkers presenting an
idea that I'd worked on forweeks.
And through the presentation, Istarted editing myself in real

(01:44):
time, toning it down, making itsafer, going completely off
script that I had prepared.
By the time I wrapped it up, itwas like I'd shrink-wrapped my
own personality.
Driving home, it hit me.
I used to walk into rooms.
I claimed them.
Now I was sliding in quietly,like a side character in my own

(02:04):
fucking story.
And the scariest part?
I couldn't even remember whenthat shift happened.
That's the thing about stolenconfidence.
It's rarely taken in one biggrab.
It's lifted in pieces slowly.
Until you don't notice what'smissing, until you feel the
emptiness.

(02:25):
So how does our confidence getstolen?
You know, from the silentthieves.
It happens subtly in momentsthat seem normal.
The first critique, that teacherwho called you too much when you
were just enthusiastic.
The comparison game.
Oh my gosh, social media feedsthat make you feel like you're
always a few steps behind andnever gonna catch up.

(02:48):
Authority gaslighting.
Man, this is a big one.
Bosses are leaders who downplayyour wins or take credit for
them for themselves.
Cultural programming.
The constant hum that says yourworth is in your looks, your
likability, or your compliance.
Each one of these is apickpocket, and after years,

(03:09):
you're left holding an emptywallet where your self-belief
used to be.
So we're gonna talk about theheist.
Step one case the joint and behonest.
Every heist starts withreconnaissance.
You can't steal back what youwouldn't admit is gone.

(03:30):
Ask yourself where do I hesitatenow that I didn't used to?
Who am I most myself around?
And who do I shrink around themost?
When did I stop trying things Iwasn't sure I'd be good at?
Write your answers down.
These aren't weaknesses, they'recoordinates.

(03:50):
Step number two, assemble yourcrew.
Even the best thieves don't goit alone.
You need people who will lookyou in the eye and say, Oh,
you're doing this, no question.
Your confidence crew mightinclude the friend who reminds
you of your worth, a mentor whopushes you without cutting you
down, the online space whereyour voice is encouraged, not

(04:13):
corrected.
You can also have an imaginarycrew, the future self who
already did the thing, a rolemodel whose energy you borrow,
even a fictional character whowalks with the swagger you're
practicing.
Step three, the grab.
Action before you even feelready.
Here's the part that makespeople uncomfortable.

(04:34):
Confidence does not come fromwaiting until you feel ready.
It comes from doing it whileyou're shaky, from the mic drop
email you send with your handtrembling, from the posting that
video that's 80% polishedbecause 80% really is enough.
From asking for the raise beforeyour brain lists every reason

(04:55):
they'll say no.
Every action you take before youfeel ready is a brick in the
vault where your confidencelives.
Step four, secure the fuckinggoods.
Once you've stolen back a pieceof your confidence, guard it.
That means limiting access topeople who habitually undermine
you, celebrating your wins outloud, documenting your proof, a

(05:19):
brag book, maybe, a highlightreel, a folder of look what I
did screenshots.
Because the world will keeptrying to lift it again.
And you, you're not leaving itunattended anymore.
So let's create a micro ritual.
The 60-second confidencelock-in.

(05:40):
If you're not driving, closeyour eyes.
If you are, come back and listento this again.
Picture the last time you didsomething you were really proud
of.
Something you almost didn't dobecause you weren't sure you
could.
Replay it in slow motion.
See yourself in the moment, notwatching from the outside.

(06:01):
Now I want you to say out loud,I did that.
I can do it again because I amcapable.
Even when I don't feel ready.
That's not just affirmation.
That's your nervous systemlearning what proof feels like.
So we're gonna do a seven-dayconfidence heist plan.

(06:24):
So make sure you write thisdown.
On day one, I want you toidentify one confidence thief in
your life.
Is it a person, a habit, orenvironment, and limit your
exposure to it.
On day number two, do one actionimperfectly on purpose just to
prove that you can survive it.

(06:45):
On day three, call or textsomeone in your crew to
celebrate a win, no matter howsmall it is, because they all
deserve celebration.
On day four, write down fivepast receipts.
On day five, try something witha visible risk of failure and do

(07:07):
it anyway.
On day six, create a digitalconfidence folder and drop your
proof inside so you can lookback at it anytime you need some
help.
On day seven, share one braveaction publicly and claim it in
your own voice.
So you know what?

(07:28):
Your confidence was never lost.
It was lifted piece by piece,and every time you act before
you're ready, you're breakinginto the vault and taking it
back.
This week I challenge you topull off one small heist, steal
back something that is yours,and when you do, guard it like
that's the crown jewel of yourdamn life.

(07:51):
Because it is.
This is She Ignites, and yourgetaway car is idling.
Let's fucking go.
Well, that's it for today, babe.
But your fire is just gettingstarted.
If you're feeling lit up, goahead and hit subscribe, leave a
spicy little review, and tag meat SheIgnites CandleCo.

(08:15):
So I can hype you up.
Remember, the world doesn't needa quieter version of you.
It needs the bold, blazing,fully expressed view.
Until next time, keep glowing,keep going, and never, every end
of your damn life.