Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Ever find yourself at 2amlike, what the actual fuck is happening
to me?
Spoiler.
It's not just your hormones.
It's your life cracking wideopen, and no one warned you.
I'm Jenna, Clinic CEO,menopause whisperer, and recovering
people pleaser turned truth slayer.
And I am Dr. Liana, menopauseexpert and medical rebel who's done
(00:25):
playing nice.
Welcome to Smoke, Mirrors and Perimenopause.
We're not here to gracefully age.
We're here to blow shit upwith truth, science, and zero filters.
So follow the show and stepinto your I don't give a fuck era.
No shame, all flame.
Let's fucking do this.
(00:45):
Here we are.
We're back.
We're back, episode two, andwe have.
A probably slightlycontroversial topic, and it's something
that I've been thinking aboutand actually probably had a book
in me at one point in time,which I refer to as the Failure of
Feminism.
That still has to be a book.
I think it might be a book atsome point in my life.
(01:08):
But the concept is most womenin their 40s, early 50s were Gen
Xers, right?
I think we're on, like, thetail end of Gen X.
We're zennials.
I looked it up.
I found a hashtag, naturally.
Does that even mean Xennial X,E, N, N, I, A, L, Xennial.
So you're, like, on the cusp, right?
(01:29):
You know, like a zodiac sign.
You're on the cut.
Like, I'm on the cusp of,like, Aries and Pisces or whatever,
right?
So we're on the cusp of Gen Xand Millennial.
So we're technically early millennials.
Okay?
We're like, one of the first,but that we're the last of Gen X.
Like, we were legit raised by,like, feral, like, early Gen X parents.
(01:51):
Yes, that's probably true.
The thing about Gen Xers,though, I think, like, when you think
about us versus our parents isI feel like we were the first generation
of women where the expectationwas that you would be at all do it
all and have it all.
Right?
So, like, you would have.
You'd go.
You go to college, number one.
(02:12):
You'd be some level of, like,a professional, some type of, like,
get some type of good job,have a career, but then also the
expectation of, like, oh, butalso get married and also have a
home and also have childrenand also have a dog and also, like,
do all the things and juggleall the things, right?
And it's just totally fucking unrealistic.
(02:33):
A thousand percent.
A Thousand percent.
And so we wonder why women intheir 40s and 50s show up in our
clinics and just feel totallybeat and busted.
Right.
Burnout.
Like, burned out.
Totally burned out.
They're trying to do it all.
There's just no fucking way.
There's no way.
And.
(02:55):
The personal expectations, Ithink, are just so high.
And that's where we get into,like, the blame, shame, guilt of,
like, not being able to beeverything to everybody.
Right, Right.
Yeah.
There's so much shame andguilt because, like, we were raised
seeing a certain dynamic withown parents, of having a more traditional
(03:16):
role.
I. I did not, actually, but Isaw that with my grandmother.
Right.
My mom was very.
A rare zebra.
She was.
But, yeah, my.
My.
My mom went to college, got amaster's degree.
Like, I saw her on.
I saw her come up and becomeone of the first in our family.
(03:40):
And she did that while single,so she wanted that for me.
And then I did it on steroidsto the point where I never got married.
Right.
And I went and got a doctor,medical school.
Right.
But you're right.
Like, we saw that.
We saw a dynamic, and so thatgets ingrained.
Right.
You can speak to this.
That gets ingrained to our subconscious.
(04:01):
So that's what we're seeing.
Yeah.
Up until age 8.
But then we're told to dosomething different and go out and
be successful.
So it's like this internal conflict.
Yeah, I think we've all kindof been living in internal conflict
for the last several decadesof our lives.
But that's.
So.
It's interesting that youbring up your mom because also, like,
(04:21):
just the expectation of ourmothers to be, like, better than
them, stronger than them,like, that is so imposed on our psyche
so early in life.
And so, like, even thoughthey're doing it, they've done it
from such an amazing place.
Right.
Of, like, desiring more for us.
It's just.
I don't know.
I've just always felt like.
(04:42):
Right.
It.
Well, because the.
I mean, my family was veryopen about it of, like, you've got
to do better than us.
You've got to go further.
Right.
Like, we're doing this so youcan have more.
Right.
No guilt there.
No guilt.
We're.
I'm doing this so you can go and.
Oh, gee, thanks.
(05:03):
Like, okay, whatever.
It is what it is.
But, yeah, I think there'sdefinitely a lot of conflict there
internally.
Like, you're just fighting.
You're.
You're stepping on the gas andpressing on the brake at the same
time.
Yeah.
It feels like yeah.
One of the nurse practitioners.
Practitioners in our clinicrefers to it as driving with the
(05:24):
parking brake on.
Oh, yeah, that's a good analogy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I.
It took a lot of, for me, alot of unraveling to dis.
Disconnect, disengage fromthat expectation of have.
Being the wife and being, youknow, being a mom.
(05:47):
And.
And I tried doing that in my mid-30s.
I'm sure that's going.
This is going to come out at.
Some point in this podcast.
I probably have to notify people.
I'm probably gonna have to.
Let me do that this weekend.
Good idea.
I'm gonna notify some people,but that's definitely gonna come
up.
But in my mid-30s, you know, Iwas engaged.
(06:08):
He had two kids.
He took great kids and he wasan awesome dad.
And it wasn't like things werea shit show, but I came up against
my own personal, like,beliefs, you know, and things went
sideways because of what Ihave, what I realized.
But that internal conflictwe're talking about because I became.
(06:32):
When I got out of the AirForce, I got a job at a prestigious
group practice, one of themost prestigious in the town that
we lived in, and I was workingfull time hospitalist and outpatient
internal medicine clinic.
So crazy.
Yeah.
Talk about burnout.
I. I was cr.
(06:52):
I was burned to a crisp.
And so then.
But then I had like, thefamily, Right.
We had a house, there were twokids, and I was.
And it was the.
His family was verytraditional, right.
I say very traditional.
They were supportive of me,but it just felt like, you know,
we.
(07:12):
We both.
It was like we both fell intothis subconscious pattern that we
were shown when we were kids.
Yeah.
And it felt like it was atraditional thing and I was just
like, oh, my God, I can'thandle all this.
Well, what do you think aboutthe energetics around that though,
too, right?
Like the masculine versusfeminine energy?
Because don't you think someof that is just like, innate?
Yeah, there is, there is.
(07:32):
But I think, I mean, him and I do.
We did the most.
Like, we took it to the empty.
We took it to the umpteenth level.
But like, I. I also though,you know, like, you.
You say, like, you'rerecovering perfectionist.
I am too.
And I wanted to be all thingsto everyone.
Like, I wanted to excel inevery single area.
(07:53):
And I burned myself out doing that.
Yeah.
I think every.
Believe a lot of us do that.
You know, I was like,literally on call.
Right.
I would see.
I would.
I would be on call, have afull Load of patients during the
day and then come home to.
I remember very clearly Iwould come home and I had to cook
(08:14):
for a family holiday dinner.
And it wasn't just for, like,the four of us.
It was for, like, a bunch of people.
I had to make a huge vat of sangria.
I was making desserts.
I made a flan.
I mean, I was just going.
Doing the most.
And I was like, night.
It was like 9:30 at night.
I was like, oh, my God, whatam I doing?
Right?
And it took it.
(08:35):
And because I was very.
Here's where sisterhood comes in.
Because I was very quiet and I.
And because I just put my headdown and worked, nobody really knew
what I was going through.
Right.
Yeah.
Because we're also taught tostay quiet.
Right.
And I would complain to himand he'd be like, oh, my God, she's
complaining again.
(08:56):
Right.
But, like, why wasn't Ireaching out to my friends?
Right?
Why did you even have time tohave friends at that point?
No.
Right?
No.
So I know now when I tell youguys stuff, you're all like, liana,
what the actual.
And I'm so.
I'm.
I.
It's almost like I have to,like, fact, not fact check, but,
like, reality check myselfwith other people.
(09:18):
Of like, hey, am I, like, am Iburning myself out here?
Do I need to be doing this?
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's an interesting time of life.
I feel like.
Like just trying to figureyour shit out and, like, what's important
versus what's not.
But, like, I don't think theveil actually comes off until you
get into your 40s and say more.
(09:40):
Say more about that.
Like, why is that?
Why is it your 40s?
Well, I think the downturn ofhormones just shifts your physiology
so significantly that youreally kind of almost become a different
person, for lack of a betterway to describe that.
You know, we talk about, like,the I don't give a fuck energy.
(10:01):
Like, you kind of step into that.
It's like the things that wereso important, maybe not to you, but
to everyone else, and it wasso important for you to keep up.
Like, the image of that, ofdoing it all and being it all to
everybody just doesn't matter anymore.
Or matters way less, let's say.
Yeah, I have to say I agree.
And I think a lot of it isbecause your dopamine levels are
(10:23):
changing.
Your estrogen metabolism is changing.
So there's less.
There's.
There's less.
Well, progesterone andtestosterone are the first things
to drop in your late 30s.
So that means you're making less.
You're going to end up makingless estrogen because testosterone
will turn into estrogen, andthen that's less fuel to make dopamine.
(10:43):
Right.
So, like, there's so much changing.
It's like these hormones arehormones of truth.
Yeah.
Like, it's like they come down.
It's like they're necessary toput up with people's shit early on
in life and to deal and topush through and to just power through.
Right.
Yeah.
I think the other thing that'sreally interesting physiologically,
(11:04):
that a lot of people don'trealize and women don't realize about
their own body, is that as theovaries start producing less hormones,
the body begins to rely on theadrenals to produce sex hormones.
Right, Right.
So if your adrenals arealready fried, which most women's
are by that point in time.
Right.
You're done.
(11:24):
You're gonna be toast.
You're toast.
That's.
You know, I started talkingabout when I very first started talking
about hormones, when I wasdoing my rejuvenous reset formula.
Still a pretty name.
It got poo pooed.
I love the name rejuvenous,but, like, a certain person poo pooed
it so much that now I'm justlike, I can't, I can't, I can't,
(11:46):
I can't.
Anyway, so when I firststarted running that program, what
ended up happening was Istarted talking about hormone changes
in your mid to late 30s.
And the thing that women wantto avoid the most is heading into
their 40s with tanked adrenals.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, you want to set yourselfup to, like, sail through perimenopause
(12:06):
and menopause.
The number one thing you gotto do is make sure your adrenals
are on point.
Yeah.
I mean, if you're going backto the driving analogy, that's like
running out of gas and.
But having, like, the sparegas tank, like, you know, the little
container thing you take tothe gas station.
Totally empty as well.
Like, you're fucked.
Or you get there and it's,like, empty.
(12:28):
Like, they're out.
Right?
No, no, no, Moss.
No Moss.
No Moss.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
But I love.
I think that that needs to bea book and so.
To be continued.
The failure of feminism.
Yeah, for sure.
I think so, too.
I mean, there you could go waydown the rabbit hole around that,
(12:48):
but.
Yeah.
All right.
That's where we're at.
Yeah.
Well, until next time, ladies.
No shame.
All flame we'll see you soon.
We hope you love the show asmuch as we love doing it.
To learn more and join the modern.
Menopause movement, visitmodernmenno.com that's modernmenow.com
(13:10):
because this conversationdoesn't end here.
And until next time, keepquestioning the smoke and mirrors.
And remember, you're notlosing your mind, you're finding
your truth and a quick.
But boring disclaimer justnecessary to say anything discussed
in this podcast is foreducational and informational purposes
only and solely as a self helptool for your own use.
We are not providing medical,psychological or nutrition therapy
(13:31):
advice.
You should not use thisinformation to diagnose or treat
any health problems or orillnesses without consulting your
own medical practitioner.
Always seek the advice of yourown medical practitioner and or mental
health provider about yourspecific health situation.
Even though I am a doctor andphysician, I am not your physician
and this podcast does notcreate a doctor patient relationship.