Wreck the Halls

Ringing in the holidays with a BANG this week we’re keeping ourselves on the edge with Wreck the Halls by Tessa Bailey.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
This is Smutty Side Up, where in every episode we deep dive into a popular or not so popular

(00:17):
book in the romance world and all the subgenres that encompasses.
We look at everything from the tropes and characters to weird euphemisms for genitalia
and tell you whether we think it's worth a read.
We're not here to kink shame or yuck anyone's yum.
These are our opinions and sometimes we even disagree with ourselves.
Content Warning, this is an explicit podcast.
If you are easily offended or have modest sensibilities, please listen at your own discretion.

(00:39):
If you are my father, brother, father-in-law, brother-in-law, identify as a father to me
or have ever called me like a sister to you, please turn this off immediately.
So sit back, let a candle and let's metaphorically crack this fine on this week's book.
Before we jump in, you might want to know who's talking to you.
I'm Alexis, a single foster mom, and somehow I've found myself deeply embedded in all things

(01:01):
book talk.
I have read way too many romance novels and my low key obsessive tendencies mean I am
incapable of DNFing anything.
And I'm Ricky, I'm a mom of two boys and a gluten-free bakery owner.
Do I have time to read?
No I do not.
Do I do it anyway?
Yes.
I have strong and very harsh opinions made harsher by my complete lack of sleep and
I apologize in advance for offending you.

(01:25):
Hi Alexis.
Hi Ricky, how are you?
I'm good, how are you?
I'm good, I like that you took it seriously and you came with a Santa hat on, like you
are in the festive spirit.
I am nothing if not committed to my promises as long as they are as easy as putting a Santa
hat on my own head.
Amazing.
How was your Thanksgiving?

(01:46):
It was good, I mean I'm obviously Canadian but my family's in the US so I just got back
from Pittsburgh visiting them and doing the whole Thanksgiving thing.
I think I had so much, I had way too much turkey.
There was like a friendsgiving and then my sister did Thanksgiving, then we did Thanksgiving
leftovers.
I am ready to put away all poultry for at least a week.

(02:09):
Like no thank you.
Unpopular opinion, I don't like turkey.
I'm gonna get that, a lot of people don't like turkey.
Yeah, we do like a friendsgiving and I will eat everything.
We don't even make a turkey anymore because me and my friend group are like, it just goes
to waste.
Amazing.
I think when it's done right, it's really good.

(02:29):
I just think it's really easy to mess up people.
It's possible, I've never had good turkey.
At some point when she get into, I did this weird thing where you dip cheesecloth in butter
and then cover the whole turkey with buttered cheesecloth, it worked really well.
That sounds crazy.
You cook it with the cheesecloth on it?
Mm-hmm.
I didn't know those things could be in the oven, you don't understand.

(02:53):
I was really impressed, it came out so nicely.
Anyways.
You're a very good cook, I'm not surprised.
We went to see Wicked and I, oh, I am 40, I got my first tattoo.
Tell me about it, lay it on me.
My sister and I got interlocking hearts on our wrists.
I love it.

(03:14):
Oh, it looks so good.
It looks so good.
We found this amazing woman in Pittsburgh named Shay and she did it and it's like fine lines,
which is a little bit tricky sometimes.
This was the coolest tattoo parlor, it was just all brick and art and it was run by women,

(03:34):
mostly queer, like it was this incredible vibe.
At one point they looked at us and they were like, you're sisters, right?
And I looked at my sister, I was like, which one of us is giving off the heavy I am not
in the lesbian relationship vibe?
Because one of us is, I think it's you.
Fair, you guys don't look alike, so for them to pull that is pretty good.

(03:58):
Yeah.
But you've met my sister.
Was it her first tattoo as well?
It was.
Did she also get it on her wrist?
She did, she got the same, they're exactly the same, hers is just scaled down a little
bit because my sister is like a foot shorter than me and so her wrist, like the hearts
on my wrist looked too big on hers and hers looked a little too small on me.

(04:22):
So are you addicted yet?
But it was, I 100% want like nine more.
I have so many tattoo plans.
Right now we said we have to do them together because then we have to like wait until we're
both in the same city.
I think that will help us limit the number of tattoos we get.
Like already sent the tattoo artist what I'm getting for my next tattoo because I want

(04:45):
to fix the drawing a little bit and I've already sent it to her.
Like it's already happened.
Is it your family crest?
Yeah, it is.
But the drawing that I had done of it, when I looked at it more closely, I can't handle
the fingernails.
So I've got to figure out a way to make it like slightly different because she thinks
we can make it a more feminine hand and that should fix the problem.

(05:05):
I will send it to you.
Yeah, please, I'd love to see it.
I feel like I've seen it.
You have but in small.
Oh, I see.
And when it's slightly bigger and you're looking at it, you're like why are those fingernails
so stubby?
Like I don't understand.
It's so funny.
I'm all about the fingernail.
So like you caught my attention with that one.
Yeah, I have three tattoos lined up and Eli and I, so Eli has no tattoos and he has

(05:30):
Eli, your husband.
Eli, my husband has no tattoos.
Sorry, I feel like I'm just chatting with a friend here.
I forgot that other people might actually listen to this.
Maybe, we don't know.
Maybe, has no tattoos, but he's not like against tattoos.
He just doesn't have them.
And so one day while I was pregnant, we had, he had the day off work and we were spending

(05:51):
the day together and he was like, what should we do today?
And I was like, I don't know.
What do you want to do?
And he's like, let's go get matching tattoos.
And I was like, I obviously can't because I'm pregnant, but I was so excited that he
was open to the idea of it, that it's like stuck with me, that like we should get matching
tattoos, but everything I see online is too generic or like, interesting and trying to

(06:14):
find something more unique.
So I found something.
I took an image that was on our wedding invitation.
Our wedding invitation had these like arrows.
And I actually made our wedding invitation.
So I know that it's like at least an original design.
And I took those arrows and I got ink box to like, you can be like custom designs.

(06:36):
So I uploaded them to ink box and I got those for his Hanukkah gift.
Like we do little gifts.
So that's going to be his Hanukkah gift this year.
So we're going to test out matching tattoos.
That's amazing.
I'm very excited.
All right.
Oh, before we get into things, we, I went to see Wicket.
Me too.
I'm in love.

(06:56):
It was so good.
It was so good.
It was so good.
I, I must be the only person in the world who didn't know that it was only the first half
of the show.
When it got to the to be continued, also spoilers, I guess, I mean, you should know before you
see it.
I'm just an idiot, but it's only the first half.

(07:17):
I know.
I know.
I went with a bunch of people who'd never seen the show.
So they were excited to see it, but like didn't know what they were getting into.
And when the title comes up and it says part one, my father groaned like audibly in a full
sold out 11am show, let out a big like, oh, no, we actually, I went with a friend last

(07:38):
night.
We saw it in one of those theaters that like the side walls of the theaters are also screens.
Oh, those are cool.
Yeah.
It was very cool.
Only some of the scenes had like the three screens, not all of them.
It was a little overwhelming at first, but it was very cool.
That's, yeah, it was amazing.

(07:58):
I cried, I laughed.
I, oh my God, I wanted to be in it so badly.
Apparently they are doing sing along screenings.
So we should go to one.
We should pick one and go.
My issue is I love that I love when artists do their own rendition of like popular songs
because because, you know, it's already, you're never going to make it exactly the same way

(08:20):
and you shouldn't.
You should be changing it up a little bit.
But if I go to a sing along, I'm going to sing it the way Kristen Chenoweth and Edina
Menzel sang it and it won't line up with the way it's sung in the music.
You could like mainline the soundtrack for the next two weeks and then you would do it
like them.

(08:40):
Oh God, it's been in me for so long.
I know.
I've been listening to it a lot because I was prepping my little foster daughter because
she was going and I was like, you'll have more fun if you know the songs.
And she took that by the way as you'll have more fun if you sing along.
So she was really disappointed when I had to explain her.
She couldn't sing.
Oh, that's hard.
She's like, but you had me listen to the songs and I was like, I just met you would like

(09:03):
it more.
That's really hard.
It didn't occur to me.
So good.
So good.
It was really good.
I know.
I liked all of them.
Ariana Grande.
Honestly, Ariana Grande stole it for me.
No, she was so good.
Yeah.
Excellent.
So anyways, that was it.
That may be our musical theater reference for the week.

(09:23):
We don't know.
We'll see.
We'll see what comes back.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to be 30% certain I can fit another one into this episode.
I hope you I did not like you last week.
I did not pre-plan one.
There is not going to be one in my opening.
Well, actually, so go.
Since we're since we're talking about last week, real quick, I have some notes, some
corrections.

(09:43):
Did you did you actually catch my mistake when I did my Dorae me quote?
No.
Oh my God.
Do you know how fucking excited I was about saying that?
And then I fucking said it wrong.
I said, I know, I know, I said, it's supposed to be when you sing, you begin with Dorae

(10:04):
me.
And I said, when you read, you begin with Dorae me because I was just so excited.
So for reference to our, you know, potentially zero listeners and zero plus listeners, I'm
not an idiot.
I was just really, really excited.
Sometimes I write things that I'm very proud of and while that was stupid, I was very proud

(10:26):
of it.
So I do know that it is when you sing, you begin with Dorae me.
So yeah, sincerest apologies about that one.
I have one more correction.
And this is only because again, when I speak quickly or when I get excited about things,
my words get trampled.
And Jeremy gave low in the shirt off of his back, not off of her back.

(10:51):
Just need, you know, first couple of episodes need to make it clear.
I do speak English.
It is my native tongue.
Amazing.
All right.
Well, for anyone that was worried, Ricky's not a moron, we promise me.
I can't tell you for sure.
We don't know.
We'll see.

(11:12):
Hilarious.
Okay.
Well, we're going to jump in then.
We are fully switching gears.
Like, before we get into it, I just wanted to like dive a little bit into how I got back
into reading.
I was like a crazy, voracious reader as a kid, like everything from like Tolkien and
C.S.

(11:33):
Lewis to Judy Bloom, R.L.
Stein, like if it came in a book.
Shout out to Judy Bloom.
Right?
Yeah.
I mean, Judy Bloom needs some love.
She's the author of my childhood.
And then I became like a super pretentious reader, like Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald.
My dog is literally named after F. Scott Fitzgeralds.

(11:54):
Oh, Fitsy.
Shout out to little Fitsy.
He's good.
He's very old.
He's sleeping down by the fire.
My dog is named after cheese.
Hey, Cheddar.
How you doing, bud?
Love ya.
Oh my god, that's amazing.
But yeah, it was not great.

(12:16):
I did not read anything.
You must have been so fun at parties.
So fun at parties.
But I mean, we're not talking like early 20s.
We're talking like 15-year-old Alexis was this level of pretentious reader.
That is so much worse.
I know.
I'm aware.
And then like a decade ago, I started working in film and then TV, and I was reading a lot

(12:42):
of scripts as part of my job.
And I just got that like reader fatigue.
And so I'd go to read something, but I was still a total reading snob.
So I would only pick up books that were like of literary value.
I put quotation marks up.
You can't see that.
But like, I don't know, it was the most bullshit thing that I can think of now.
But at the time, I thought it was like important that I could only read things that were like-

(13:04):
Give us an example.
I read a book by the guy who wrote Devil in the White City that is about Winston Churchill
during World War II.
Like-
Okay, that sounds terrible, but Devil in the White City is excellent.
Devil in the White City is amazing.
Excellent book.

(13:25):
But like, those are the like- books had to have like been prized, prize-winning books
for me to be like, it's worth my time.
Never mind.
Which is stupid.
And so then I just wasn't reading because I'd go to pick up something and it would be
like the Winston Churchill thing that I didn't even finish.
And then a couple years ago, I was at Shoppers, which is like the Canadian CVS, looking for

(13:49):
some kids books in this section, because I was killing time.
And there was this random romance novel called Two for the Road, which we may cover at some
point, but it is a closed-door romance, which I learned is not what I was looking for in
these type of books.
Do you know the term closed-door romance?
Yes.
All the action happens behind closed doors.

(14:10):
Yeah, not a fan.
I don't want to fade to black, guys.
I don't want that.
But it was a super easy read.
Like I finished half of it in one sitting in the bath.
And so I- it opened up this whole world of romance novels for me.
And I read a lot of different genres.
And on this podcast, I promise I'm going to bring books in that get into all kinds of

(14:32):
things, darker, steamy, or more taboo.
But there's something I've been really comforting in this like light, fun, contemporary romance.
And so that brings us to today's book.
In the Spirit of Christmas, which, when this podcast goes up, will be days away, I bring
you Wreck the Hulse.
Great name.
Oh, it's so cute.

(14:53):
Oh, it's Tessa Bailey.
Oh, it's so cute.
Okay.
So it's got like an illustrated couple with some like Christmas lights, I think, kind
of going up and down the sides.
It's got some snowflakes.
It's on a nice pale blue background.
Oh, it's cute.
Yeah.
So actually, before we get into that, I was going to say, let's talk about Tessa Bailey
since you called it out.

(15:15):
I've read so many Tessa Bailey books.
Like it's crazy how prolific some of these authors are.
Like you dig in and you find out.
So I, you know, I'm a crazy completionist.
And so when I find an author I like, I start digging in.
I have read 43 Tessa Bailey books and I have not read everything she's written.
I don't even think I've read 43 books.

(15:39):
There was no timeline on that.
That was just a general statement.
Oh my God.
I didn't see this till after I'd started reading, but entertainment, entertainment, entertainment
weekly called her the Michelangelo of dirty talk.
Whoa.
And I was like, that's my face.
Yeah, that is my favorite review of anyone ever, especially because it wasn't about a

(16:03):
specific book.
It was about her as a person.
Wait, what if somebody gave you the Michelangelo of something?
What would it be?
Yeah.
I don't think I'm the Michelangelo of anything.
But like, if you had to pick something, maybe, like maybe in the cooking world, I think that's
where it probably lands.

(16:23):
I think yours would be, yeah.
Yours would be like the Michelangelo of picking up cooking skills without ever having someone
show you.
And mine would be the Michelangelo of complaining about not getting enough sleep.
I don't know.
I mean, I feel like I could go there too.
There's a lot of like complaints about lack of sleep.
You could compete, but I think I'm the Michelangelo.

(16:45):
It's true.
You could definitely get there.
But yeah, I was just, I mean, we'll get into this and this weirdness where I have to like
read all the things.
But I loved that as a, if I had not read a Chesapeakea book and I saw that, I would go
and pick up one of her books immediately.
So this is the back cover description of the book.

(17:07):
Melody Gallard may be the daughter of music royalty, but her world is far from glamorous.
She spends her days restoring old books and avoiding the limelight.
One awkward tablet photo was enough, thanks.
But when a producer offers her a lot of money to reunite her mother's band on live TV, Mel
begins to wonder if it's time to rattle the cage, shake up her quiet life, and see him
again.

(17:27):
The only person who could wrangle the rock and roll divas.
Beat Dawkins, the lead singer's son, is Melody's opposite.
The camera loves him.
He could charm the pants off of anyone, and his mom is not a potential cult leader.
Still, they might have been best friends, if not for the legendary feud that broke up
the band.
When they met his teenagers, Mel felt an instant spark, but it's nothing compared to the wild,

(17:48):
intense attraction that builds as they embark on a madcap mission to convince their mothers
to perform one last show.
While dealing with Rockstar shenanigans, a 24-hour film crew, brawling Santas, and mobs
of adoring fans, Mel starts to step out of her comfort zone.
With Beat by her side cheering her on, she's never felt so understood.
But Christmas Eve is fast approaching, and a decade's old scandal is poised to wreck

(18:09):
everything.
The Steelbirds reunion, their relationship with their mothers, and their newfound love.
Okay.
Sounds interesting.
That's even more interesting, knowing the life you have led, and the fact that you lived
parallel to people who were in a band together, and were very...

(18:35):
Yes, I mean, we're absolutely...
Like, maybe you should tell a little bit about your connection.
Are you gonna do it later on?
We're absolutely...
Yeah, I was gonna get to it later on, but that's okay, we can do it now.
So, I have lived many, many lives.
Maybe that's your thing, you're the Michelangelo of multiple lives.
Maybe.
And there was a time at what feels like long, long ago now.

(18:56):
But for a few years, I worked as initially a nanny and then a personal assistant, or
household assistant, to Mick Fleetwood of Fleetwood Mac, and went on tour with them for one of
the many reunion tours that they did.
I was involved in the ones before Christine McVie came back.

(19:17):
And so, yeah, I went on the road with Fleetwood Mac in my 20s, which is a thing that we...
Yeah, it happens.
No, it doesn't.
Hang on.
It definitely doesn't happen.
But we will definitely...
It only happened to you.
But yeah, it sounds interesting.
I also just wanna say one more thing.
Guys, I know my audio sucks.

(19:38):
I'm working on it, trying to figure it out.
Hopefully this one's better than the last, but just bear with us.
Continue.
Excellent.
Okay, before we dive fully in, I want to talk quickly about availability.
I first read this in paperback.
It's also available digitally.
It's not on Kindle Unlimited, but it is weirdly only like $1.99 in the Canadian Kindle Store.

(20:05):
So I don't know if that's a special, like it didn't look like it was being promoted,
but if you catch this while it's still up, it's really, really cheap.
I also have it on audiobook because I'm a crazy person and sometimes for comfort, I
will listen to a book that I like instead of starting something new, because sometimes
I'm like cooking for children who are loud and it's easier to put in a headphone and

(20:28):
like listen to...
I do that too.
Oh, as a sidebar, we're sitting at the tattoo parlor and waiting for our turn and I'm about
to go and my sister's explaining that she doesn't think she's going to react because
she's had multiple children, one of them without an epidural and had her vagina sewn up with
no painkillers.

(20:49):
So she's like, I think I'm going to be fine.
Yeah, as old as time.
Yeah.
And all I could think is like, I'm like, I don't have that lived experience, but I was
like, I have listened to the dirtiest, dirtiest sex scenes with no facial expression in front
of children.
So maybe I'll be fine too.
I was.
There was no flinching, but I did have that thought of like, I have listened to like some

(21:14):
BDSM while I watch people in the park.
That sounded so much creepier than it needed to.
Question though.
It really did.
Did your sister react?
No, she was also fine.
Yeah, we took videos because my dad really wanted to be there to watch us like cry, basically,
and neither of us reacted, like at all.

(21:36):
That's good.
I have a matching tattoo with my best friend that we got maybe two weeks before the pandemic,
like closed Canada.
And we took videos of us getting these tattoos and I posted them on social media.
And two years later, I'm at the cottage and my dad is there and he comes up to me and

(21:58):
he goes, what is that pointing to my ribs?
And I'm like, that's my tattoo.
And he goes, that was real?
I was like, dad, you saw a video of it being done.
He's like, I thought it was a henna.
I was like, henna doesn't make a ddrrrrrr sound.
It was hilarious.
Oh, dad.
His partner has like a million tattoos.

(22:19):
I don't know why he was so shocked, but yeah.
Oh my God, amazing.
Okay, so I just need to set up the scene.
This is not a like Christmasy book.
It takes place around Christmas, which is why I picked it.
But you're not getting those like Hallmark MMC secretly a hot Santa vibe.

(22:42):
Should I take off my Santa hat?
No, I like your Santa hat.
It makes me happy.
There are Santas in this.
Intriguing.
They fight with cult leaders.
What?
It's fine.
So if you're looking for like that straight up like Christmas cookies type of vibe in
a book, there are other ones I would recommend like the Christmas tree farm by Lori Gilmore,

(23:03):
how my neighbor stole Christmas by Megan Quinn, my favorite holiday by Lauren Blakely, the
Christmas fix by Lucy score, holiday romance by Catherine Walsh.
That will get you your fix.
This just like happens to be around Christmas.
Christmas Eve is a date in it, but it's not like we don't, we don't go over like what

(23:24):
we're going to get for Christmas.
There's no presents.
Okay.
It's not a thing.
The last thing before we dive totally in is tropes.
This almost feels like a second chance romance, but I don't really think it is.
It's, you know, maybe friends to lovers, but again, they both have pretty big non-friendly

(23:46):
feelings pretty early on.
So I don't think that qualifies either.
I think the biggest trope would be forest proximity because they're stuck together.
They're sharing an apartment.
We're going to get a whole only one bed.
I'm always fascinated by an only one bed situation, but it doesn't.
It's one of the least realistic of the troops.

(24:09):
It is.
It is definitely.
And in this one, like we'll get into it, but it's not my favorite use of that trope.
They think there are better ways.
Anyways, let's dive in.
We're going to start with, I actually have three descriptions for you because we see
we start the book with a prologue from when they're 16 and melody and beat meet for the

(24:33):
very first time.
And so it's from Melody's perspective, but we actually get a description of both of
them.
So I'm going to give you Mel's self described self self description.
Sure.
Mel's description of herself.
At age 16, Melody was in the middle of an awkward phase to put it mildly.

(24:54):
Sweat was an uncontrollable entity.
She didn't know how to smile anymore without looking like constipated gargoyle.
Her milk chocolate mane had been carefully styled for this afternoon, but her hair couldn't
be tricked into forgetting about the humidity currently plaguing New York.
And now it was frizzing to really accentuate the rubber bands connecting her incisors.
But then there was beat.
Utterly, effortlessly gorgeous.

(25:15):
His chestnut colored hair was damp from the rain.
His light blue eyes sparkled with mirth.
Someone handed him a towel as soon as he crossed the threshold and he took it without looking,
rubbing it over his locks and leaving them wild standing on end, amusing everyone in
the room.
A woman in a headset ran a lint brush down the arms of his indigo suit and he gave her
a graceful, winning smile, visibly flustering her.

(25:36):
Sorry, did the Melody?
Is that her name?
Melody.
Yes.
Yes, Melody.
So Melody referenced the elastics on her incisors.
Braces?
Did I miss this?
Braces.
Or was she talking about braces?
That's the first that she does.
I didn't do anything so hard in my life.
Oh my God.
Like being ultra aware of the elastics on your braces.

(26:00):
I didn't have them when I was 16.
I had them much younger.
But yeah.
Did you have braces?
I did not have braces.
Lucky.
I had terrible dental issues with my baby teeth and so my grown-up teeth came in properly
but because there was spacers and a lot of trips to the dentist.

(26:22):
Got it.
Braces suck.
Yeah.
I threw those two descriptions into an AI image generator because I think it's a funny
experiment.
Oh God.
Oh, poor girl.
Yeah.
Oh God, he looks like...

(26:44):
Okay, hang on.
Let's go back to her.
Okay, so this girl has the most beautiful teal eyes I've ever seen.
She looks a little bit like a character that was animated.
You know the movie Get Out?
Yep.
Okay, I feel like if it was animated-ish, this is what the characters would look like

(27:07):
when they're like, don't stay here.
Oh, okay.
She looks a little creepy.
Did she specifically say that her braces were green or was that the choice?
Just the turquoise elastics.
So AI made it.
I also did say turquoise elastics.
I'm confused there.
Yeah.
I mean, it's really eerie, this photo.

(27:28):
Do you not find this really uncomfortable?
I mean, I think it's the sweat.
I think it's the sweat that you're finding.
Oh, it is the sweat.
She's very sweaty because they mentioned that she's very sweaty.
Yeah, but that's not how sweat falls.
That's the problem.
It looks like she's standing in the middle of a rainstorm.
She's just like- Only on her face.
... landing on her face.

(27:48):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Otherwise, she's really cute.
The way AI does teeth, though, makes me really unhappy.
Have you zoomed in on these?
I have not.
Are they- The bottom of the teeth look like flower petals.
The front two teeth don't have that double bump.
Yeah.
They're not supposed to, but these ones do.

(28:10):
Interesting.
And what about him?
Okay, let me click on his because I got to see his teeth are flat and so white.
Oh my God.
Yeah, he looks like if I were to animate a character from Twilight, that this would
be him.
But give him a tan.
But also, is he standing in the rain?

(28:31):
Like, he is.
Is he supposed to be?
Well, they said he just came in from the rain and they gave him a towel to dry off.
So AI took some of the brits.
And he's a lot of what you said then because- or I'm just getting distracted.
It looks like he's got a nice five o'clock shadow going on here, but he also looks like
he's like 13.
So I'm not really sure.
And I know he's not supposed to look 13, but he's cute.

(28:53):
Yeah, he's supposed to be 16.
Anyways, we'll put these in the podcast or this is the second time we've done it.
We will put these on the Instagram so that you can take a look at what AI rendered us.
What do you think of this one, of the guy?
I mean, I think he looks like a generic Abercrombie model, but in a suit.

(29:13):
Like a generic Abercrombie dude from like the early 2000s.
Yeah, I think you're right, actually.
You know what's weirding me out is that his jacket has like very visible raindrops on
it.
Yeah.
And yet he is dry.
Yeah.
I think that's it.
It's all very-
The building in the background, is that like- what is that?

(29:33):
Is that the White House?
I don't know.
I don't know what it's meant to be.
Okay.
All right.
All right, so we have two more descriptions.
I'm not going to AI this again.
That was our one little foray, but we're- as grownups, I have descriptions.
So this is Melody from the perspective of Beat.

(29:55):
This woman was beautiful as hell.
Had been 14 years ago and still was in a softer, more polished way, but she hid the
beauty well underneath a wool skirt, huge ass sweater, and thick rim glasses.
If he undressed her, if he tugged her long golden brown hair out of that bun, she'd be
the kind of hot that men noticed a hundred yards away.
Aw, that's sweet.
It also gives me some like she's all that vibes of like if she just takes off the glasses

(30:17):
and the overalls, everyone will know how pretty she is.
Yeah, definitely.
But you know, lovely.
We're going to get into that.
I mean, they both kind of simped for each other from like the get go.
I like that he referenced that he thought she was pretty 14 years ago.
Yes.
After having heard how she described herself at that same time.

(30:39):
Yeah.
That was the cute thing.
It's adorable.
And then this is how Melody saw Beat.
Beat Dawkins was eons and galaxies out of her league.
Not only was he blindingly gorgeous, but he had presence.
He commanded rooms full of people to give speeches for his mother's foundation.
She'd seen the pictures, the occasional Instagram reel.
His grid was brimming with nonstop adventures.
Equally glamorous friends were pouring out of his ears.

(31:02):
He was loved, lusted after and perfect.
I don't love when female characters make themselves like bring themselves down to make the male
character seem better.
Yeah.
Like she right off the bat, she's like, he's way out of my league.
Like she I know this happens all the time.
Well, we're going to get into that a little bit because while it does happen all the time

(31:25):
and I think people do it anyway, she has a little bit of a reason to.
Oh, okay.
All right.
So Beat and Melody, their moms were America's most legendary rock duo, Steelbirds, born
after the band split up.
So their matching names are like accidental.
Their moms didn't plan to give them matching names.

(31:47):
They just, it happened because they were obviously like very in sync best friends and this is
the thing they did.
And all the press met like press coverage of the band included mentions of the kids.
They were always asked about the breakup of the band.
The reasons were never made public.
So you know, they grew up in the spotlight despite the fact that the band broke up kind

(32:08):
of before their time.
We want to talk with the moms for a second.
Trina is Melody's mom.
She's absent quote Melody.
She lives on a commune of no account called the free loving adventure club and is a rebellious
rocker turned nudist turned possible cult leader who shun civilization.
She's mostly gone from her daughter's life.

(32:30):
They see each other once a year and Melody wants like so badly for her mom to be proud
of her but is scared of rejection.
So for example, she learned how to play her mother's most famous song on guitar and then
never told her.
Okay.
Beat, his mom is Octavia and she's the total opposite.
She spent the last 30 years doing charity work.

(32:52):
She's a super involved loving mom.
She's high society, married to the same man this whole time.
Still again refined and by all accounts like a great mom.
They were famous in like 80s and early 90s.
I think the vibe is kind of like Courtney Love, Alanis, Liz Fair, kind of like angry
girl rock.
Oh, I thought more like heart but that just based off of the way we're describing it.

(33:16):
Their sisters is a little different.
Yeah.
Well, and like their their songs are much more like, you know, fuck the patriarchy.
Okay.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah.
So, their biggest song, Rattle the Cage is now back on the Billboard charts and hashtag
bring back steel birds is trending on Twitter.
So this is where I'm like, again, it's definitely my personal bias.

(33:39):
Also, there's a Stevie Nicks mention really early on, but the lore around the band gives
me like deep Fleetwood Mac vibes, even though Fleetwood Mac absolutely never really broke.
Yeah.
They just lived with all the like drama.
The other thing, do you remember at the beginning of the pandemic when that skateboarding TikTok

(34:00):
came on and and Drea came back on the Billboard top 100?
It's the same thing.
Yeah.
So that's the kind of like vibe that also gave me like these Fleetwood Mac vibes here.
Did you ever look into whether or not she's like Tessa Bailey is some sort of fan of Fleetwood?
Like was there ever, I wonder if she ever talked about it.

(34:23):
I don't think she talked about it.
I mean, in her acknowledgement, she didn't talk about it, but she does have the like
Trina, I think it's Octavia references some advice she got from Stevie Nicks like early
on in the book.
So like it's definitely there in like the pop culture mind.
But that could also just be me putting that on because they also mentioned like Mick Jagger

(34:46):
and Bruce Springsteen.
Like there is like a like famous artist that people know.
Just to clarify, you did not tour with Mick Jagger and Bruce Springsteen?
No, not yet.
Not yet.
Touche.
Mick Jagger has like four years left though.
Like you got to be quick.
I'll work on that.
I'll work on that.

(35:08):
So Beaton Melody have only had one encounter.
Like they met this one time when they were 16 at some sort of event about their moms,
being interviewed because their moms are like fully hate each other.
Like it's a feud.
They don't talk.
So they met one time and then 16 or 14 years later, they're talking about how they were

(35:31):
so hot back then and now.
We'll get to it.
Yeah.
But yes, they met one time, which is why this is in no way a second chance romance.
Like there was no nothing happened.
But I want to just dive in a little bit into like the way that the way the media portrays
and analyzes girls, specifically like teenage girls.

(35:55):
So Melody kind of suffers from this.
Like Beat gets glowing, glowing press coverage.
He could do no wrong at 16.
He could do no wrong at 30.
When they were both in the public eye, there's a quote from TMZ in the book describing Melody
as always a before picture, never an after.
They also said in the case of Trina Gallard's daughter, the apple didn't just fall far from

(36:18):
the tree.
It's more of a lemon.
Like it is this thing where you watch teen stars like, you know, Selena Gomez went to
Hawaii and they were like, oh, she's getting chubby.
And I was like, oh my God, she's still a size fucking two.
So in their one meeting, this kind of comes up.
So in this one meeting that they have, he brings it up.

(36:42):
Like he brings up how hard the press is on her and like, is she okay?
And instead of her doing kind of what she wants to do with most people to like hide
and be like, no, I'm fine.
It doesn't bother me.
She actually opens up and is like, yeah, no, it feels really fucking terrible.
And so that leads to him defending her in the press.

(37:05):
So after this one meeting that they have, there's a point where he's on TMZ and he
goes, he turns around and goes, I'm done talking.
You won't get another word of me.
Not until you and all the similar outlets stop exploiting girls for clicks, especially
my friend Melody Gallard.
You praise me for nothing and disparage her no matter how hard she tries.
You can fuck right off.
Like I said, I'm done talking.

(37:27):
So like, he's very much just like here for her already, despite the fact that they don't
really know each other.
They have this like weird connection.
And in this meeting, this is where he nicknames her.
He nicknames her peach, which is a reference to the mean quote about the lemon.

(37:50):
He's like, you're not really a lemon.
You're more of a peach.
And she's like, they have a thin skin.
And he goes, no, they have a really tough center.
And she feels like seen and understood in this way she never has before.
I have a lot of feelings because nicknames are going to come up.

(38:10):
I know in all these books, like every book has like some kind of nickname.
I don't know why the nickname peach does give me the egg a little bit.
Yeah, I'm not a huge fan.
Yeah, I don't know if I'd be a fan of any fruit or food nickname.
Mm hmm.
I hear you.
It also feels weirdly intimate.

(38:32):
Like the kind of nickname you would have if you knew somebody for like a decade.
Yeah, so I think that might be like the intention because, and we'll get into this like, you
know, at the end of this, he gives her his number and neither of them ends up reaching
out.
They just spend a little more time than they ought to thinking about the other, but they

(38:53):
kind of move on with their lives.
She goes like super quiet, lives her little life over here.
He is a little bit more out in the public eye helping run the foundation that he and
his mom started and they don't ever interact again.
But they think a bunch of, and the idea is like, I think that they're both like so similar
in that like the way that they've, the things they've had to deal with, the way that people

(39:16):
want to know them for their moms and like for the like fame by proximity.
And so they do just get each other.
So maybe it's like trying to show that intimacy early, but it's a weird one.
Peach for me is just.
It's just me of the movie, what a girl wants.
Did you ever watch that with Amanda Bynes?

(39:36):
I did.
I do not remember.
Oh, wasn't there a girl named Peaches?
And I think their names are Peach and Pear.
Oh.
And at one point one of the meme girls like says like more like squash and turnip or something
like that.
Like it was just such a dumb movie, but it's so good.
It's really good.

(39:57):
I feel like I am just old enough that I always thought Colin Firth was the romantic lead of
that movie.
Like, I know you're supposed to be after Amanda Bynes and her little like little 16 year old,
but I was like, you're not wrong.
He's he ends up like finding his love with her mom.
Like that was a cute romance too.
But the scene where she accidentally Amanda Bynes accidentally ends up walking the runway

(40:19):
of like a fashion show and she's like wearing jeans and like a short little tank top and
the song like I want to be bad at playing is just so good.
So good.
I love it.
Okay.
So we start the book.
It's been 14 years and they both have this offer to make a reality show reunited their

(40:41):
mothers beats being blackmailed.
The blackmailer has a secret that could destroy his mother's reputation devastate his father.
So in order to protect them beats been paying him off and the amounts just keep getting
bigger.
So he's been doing this for years and the latest ask is for more money than he has.
The blackmailer wants him to take it from the charity he runs with his mom and beat
refuses.

(41:01):
So this offer to do the reality show is a way that he can deal with that.
Melody spends her days restoring vintage YA novels.
Just let's take that for a second.
What?
Yeah.
So you know how there's like antique book restores?
Yeah.
Like fix the spines and covers.
So she's doing that because believe it or not books from the 80s are 50 years old and

(41:25):
they are meant to stop it.
Oh my God.
Oh don't do math.
Old Judy bloom.
Oh my God.
Feels like it was 10 years ago that I was reading my Judy blooms.
I know.
So like that really does not at all.
No.
But she really wants the independence.

(41:48):
It's like she wants to stop like living from her mother off the money from her mom and
she's also been told that beat is coming to this meeting.
So this is what pushes her to like go.
They take the meeting with the producer and given the new renewed popularity of the band,
the network wants to do a 12 to 14 hour a day live stream of the mission to reunite

(42:12):
steel birds in Rockefeller center on Christmas Eve two weeks from today.
Absolutely not.
Yeah.
Absolutely not.
I hear you.
If they're successful, they will each get a million dollars.
Not enough.
Two weeks of your life.
A million dollars.
12 to 14 hours a day live stream.

(42:35):
No.
No.
What if one of them has to go to the bathroom?
How live are we talking?
It's not that live.
But be hit volunteer.
That's your whole day though.
That's your whole day.
Yeah.
That's sign up to sundown.
No.
I'm only pleasant like three hours out of my whole day.

(42:56):
No way.
So be had volunteered to do it because he obviously needs money to pay off his blackmailer, but
didn't want Mel involved because he wants to protect her privacy.
But he's like, I also want your consent because there will be blowback like putting the band
back in.
How would he have done it without her?
He would reunite because the idea was just to reunite steel birds.

(43:19):
It wasn't that they had to do it together.
Is they just wanted to watch at least one of them try and get their mothers.
Okay.
And then he finds out that it's a live stream, not like the carefully edited vetted by lawyers
version of the show.
He thought it was signing up for her and he's like, no, no, no.

(43:39):
Also the likelihood that they're actually going to reunite them super low.
So beats already contacting his accountant to secure a loan to pay off his blackmailer.
He's like, this is not going to work.
This is not going to happen.
Melody reasons that if they have any shot at doing this, they need to do it together.
And so she takes him aside.
She's like, listen, we got to go talk.

(43:59):
They leave the producer's office.
They go and sit at a little cafe, the two of them.
And she opens up to him.
She's like, this is about like her relationship with her mother growing up.
She was always traveling free spirit to the bone.
Now I see her even less only once a year.
She comes to New York on my birthday and takes me to her favorite old thrift shop on St.
Mark's place and the venues on bleaker where she got her start.

(44:20):
She decries how the rich of ruin New York City.
We have dinner at a bar that's too loud for conversation and then she's gone.
It's a whirlwind and I barely get a word in edgewise with her, but I always think this
is the time this I'm going to impress her or she's going to be interested in my life.
She's finally going to see me and every year I'm wrong.
So she's coming around the idea that like, I know that was supposed to say heartbreaking.

(44:43):
Heartbreaking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is like what I love about this book is like this secondary storyline of like melodies
relationship with their mom and then the third storyline of the two moms relationship with
each other.
Like I really into all three of them.
Interesting.
So do we find out why they've been broke up?

(45:04):
We do.
Yes.
Also, sorry, one thing.
I have to go back for two seconds.
I've given it more thought.
If somebody wanted to live stream me for 12 to 14 hours a day for two weeks for a million
dollars, I would 100% do it.
Okay.
I just, I just, I feel like it's obvious, but I need to put it on the record.

(45:25):
I would do it.
I can do with the invasion of privacy for a million dollars.
Yes.
Yeah.
I mean, let's be clear.
I would do it for 500K.
I was about to say my price is definitely lower than that, but like I made such a scene
about it.
No, I can't be like, I'm really not picky.
You want to toss me like five grand?
I might actually say yes.

(45:49):
I won't have friends by the end of it, but I will have $5,000.
Yeah.
It's fine.
It needs to be a little bit higher.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
So basically melodies coming around to this idea that like her relationship with her mom
needs to either change or be paused.
She needs independent.
She can't keep repeating the same pattern.
So she has nothing to lose by trying to get her mom on board.

(46:10):
So she just asked Pete if he needs her to do it.
He doesn't want to put pressure on her, but when she asks again, he tells her there isn't
another person in the world he would ask.
The only condition he has for her is she has to tell him if the attention is too much and
he's going to shut it down.
And they agree to do this and they're both fairly certain it's not actually going to
happen.

(46:31):
Like they know their mothers, they know the animosity.
It's never going to happen.
And they also quickly come to an agreement that they're going to keep it interesting.
Like they'll tell stories and make things up, but they'll protect their moms and their
secrets as much as they can.
They're not going to like start revealing anything.
They call it engagingly evasive, which is my new favorite term and I want to use it

(46:52):
all the time.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
That's like, that's a really good autobiography book title.
Yeah.
I think so.
So much a TM.
Write that down for yourself one day.
Excellent.
This is also great for Beat because a lot of the questions that they get are like around
the reason for the breakup of the band, speculation of a love triangle, which frees Beat out because

(47:16):
he knows who the third member of the triangle was.
Blackmailer, the band's former drummer and Beat's biological father.
Wait.
Okay.
I'm actually disappointed that this is an audio medium because that was great.
Yo.
We're going to rewind here.

(47:38):
Okay.
Beat's mom had an affair involving her best friend and Beat's and the drummer.
No, there was, it was not a three way.
Sorry.
Sorry.
It was a love triangle.
Yes.
Okay.
Sorry.
I'm going to read it there.
Let's try this again.

(47:58):
Beat's mom was having a relationship under the radar with the drummer of their band because
she was also married.
Yes.
Okay.
And her best friend was also in a relationship with the drummer.
Yes.
They will get, well the timeline gets clarified later, but yeah, basically there's love between

(48:19):
each of them with the drummer of the bands.
Okay.
And they break up.
Does Beat's dad know that he is not the biological father?
As far as we know right next, we only know Beat's perspective.
He does not know.
That is what we know is that Beat's dad does know.
He should go to Jerry Springer.
But yeah, I, so I read this book a while ago and I reread it for the podcast and I forgot

(48:44):
how early we get that information.
Like in my mind, there's like this further information that comes out later and there's
a reveal, but like it never would have occurred to me that we would get the like, oh, this
is who the blackmailer is.
And this is the information that he's got.
Does it ever go into why the drummer needs the money?

(49:05):
I mean, I think he's just, just like, he was making money from the band.
He just not good with his money.
Well he was making money from the band, but then the band, like he was kicked out and then
the band broke up.
Oh, he was kicked out first.
Yeah.
And you know, that was in 1993.
And it's been 14 years.
14 years.

(49:26):
Gotta make smart investments.
Yeah.
I don't know.
They always talk about the band as a duo.
Like I don't know that he was like, make and bank.
Fine.
As the drummer.
He was like a paid gig guy.
Yeah.
They don't really get into it.
I mean, I think he's just like a shitty human being.
I just have so many unnecessary questions about the setup of this band.

(49:48):
That's all right.
That's fine.
So, it's clear early on that they both have, slash, had feelings for each other from the
time they were younger.
Beats like effortlessly charming and Melody calls him out on it claiming that he was like
this when they were 16.
And he's like...
But how would she know she met him once?

(50:09):
Well, she's saying he's effortlessly charming now.
Like they're at a gym and he flusters the woman running the smoothie bar by ordering coffee.
Like sets her hormones on fire and Mel's like, you were like that with me when I was 16.
And he's like very clear.
No.
With you it was different.
Fine.
I'm having a hard time with this 16 year old thing when they only met once.

(50:34):
I understand.
So they do the live stream and really early on the producer calls Mel out and it's like,
I don't know if you're aware about the way that you are looking at him and talking about
him, but the entire internet is already calling you a beat simp.
Like the entire internet is like you are in love with him.

(50:57):
Obviously.
The live stream is gaining traction immediately.
The biggest draw is Melody and what they're seeing as her crush on beat.
They're also really attracted to Melody because she's really funny.
Like she is an excellent character.
She's very witty.
She's very funny.
Her one liners are great.
And I think it's that case of like someone who was maybe awkward as a teenager and then

(51:20):
never put themselves out there.
Like stayed really quiet, stayed introverted, like even at her companies like Bochi games,
she like hangs back because she's always worried like everyone she's around is two drinks away
from like asking inappropriate questions about her mother.
So she like doesn't hang.
Do you know what I mean?

(51:42):
When she finds out Melody's like, Oh no, beat is freaked out by the fact that I have this
crush on him.
So they dance, take the opportunity to turn off their mic pack so that they can address
it.
The mic pack thing is going to come back and you know it's going to come back from the
time they very first get their mics put on them.
It's like, and you know, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but this is how you turn

(52:04):
it off if you need to turn it off.
They're going to be a scene where they forget to turn off the mic pack.
You're going to have to wait and see.
Just hang out.
Hang on.
Hang in for the ride.
So this time they turn their mic packs off.
They're dancing and she's like, I haven't had a lot of relationships.
Most men just want the story of having dated Trina Gallard's daughter.
They don't actually want me, but she's like quick to assure him she doesn't have any expectations.

(52:29):
This may be lingering from when they were younger and he was just the first person not
to treat her like a disappointment.
And she goes as far as to say like my attraction to you is not your responsibility.
Whoa, whoa.
Yeah.
It's like, I mean, it's a very self aware position to take to be like, I don't even know if this
is like a lingering crush from when I was younger or if like I do have feelings for you.

(52:52):
I don't know what it is, but like this is not your problem.
Me finding you attractive, not your problem.
I'm not putting this on you.
Don't even worry about it.
I will figure this out.
Yeah.
You go on living your life.
Yeah, we learned very quickly that beat wants her very badly, but doesn't want to go there

(53:12):
because he wants to protect her from his inclinations.
Ooh.
Yeah.
There are several illusions made really early on about beat and his nighttime activities.
Tell me more.
So he spent his whole life keeping people at a distance, relationship stay kind of surface
level.
He doesn't spend one on one time, avoids getting personal.

(53:33):
His perception is that when he allowed himself to be vulnerable, people didn't like what
they saw.
Everything's been handed to him.
He was not only born into wealth and tangential fame, but people naturally take a shine to
him.
He assumed that was normal.
Like the way that everyone smiled at him, where everywhere he went, paparazzi would
compliment his clothes.
If he didn't have a chance to study for an exam at the private Hollywood high school he attended,

(53:55):
the date would get switched.
His mother and father never stopped telling him he was special and that he made them proud.
And until he was 13 and he went to camp, he didn't realize that that's not how life was
for everyone.
Like, he did not know that he was like living this extraordinary life.
Must be nice.
Yeah.
Okay.
But he goes to this camp and he's trying to bond with the kids and everything's great

(54:17):
at first, but then they realize who he is and who his mom is and they begin to resent
him.
Like, he works really hard to try and make them like him, cleans the cabin, tells jokes
and it doesn't work.
And then he realized that he likes it when things aren't easy for him.
He likes being denied.
This was like a formative experience for him as he heads into puberty.
See where this is going.

(54:38):
Yeah, we're getting into it.
I'm gonna set up the cold read for you.
Before we dive in though, I mean, she's the Michelangelo dirty talk for a reason.
Like Tessa Bailey is really good at writing a sex scene.
She's really good at writing a funny sex scene.
There's a line from another book of hers where she says something about his cock smacking
through her pussy like it owned the joint.

(55:00):
Oh my God.
Okay.
I was like, I've never laughed out loud so hard while reading about sex.
So he's extremely good at dirty talk.
We get...
That's what every man wants to is for you to be laughing while they're naked.
We even get a few of the very growly good girls throughout the book.

(55:26):
So I'm gonna set this up for you and then I'm gonna send you your little cold read section.
They attended Gala, hosted by Beats Mom.
To meet with her about the reunion.
Everyone's dressed up and beautiful.
It's going well until they leave and they realize that even though the live stream has only
been up for a couple of hours, they're amassing huge following and there are hordes of people

(55:46):
outside waiting for them with signs.
The public loves Melody.
They are camped outside her house so concerned for her safety.
They talk about taking her to a hotel but Beats insists she come home with him, obviously.
They hang out, they try to keep people tonic, they even go to bed but obviously they end
up hooking up so I'm gonna send this to you.
Jesus Christ Mel, your mouth.

(56:08):
He growled against it.
Of all the privileges I never feel like I've earned, you're gonna be the ultimate one,
aren't you?
You deserve everything she whispered.
No, he fisted the hem of her shirt dragging it up to her throat, lust bracketing his mouth
at the sight of her bare breasts, her panties.
But I'm gonna rub and suck that gingerbread smell off you anyway, aren't I?

(56:28):
Until you soak that tight thong they made you wear.
Oh my God, the fact that he had a whole secondary vocabulary for these private moments was such
delicious knowledge.
Yes, she whispered, please.
I'm the one saying please.
He hooked an arm around the small of Melody's back, drawing her high onto her tiptoes.
The position curved her spine, the hard tips of her breasts slipped in closer, closer to

(56:51):
his mouth.
Just before he could take her nipple into his mouth, he let out a shuttered breath.
Don't let me come, Mel.
Okay, where did gingerbread smell come from?
I don't know, there may have been a reference but I don't remember it, it doesn't, yeah.
It felt like out of the blue to me too.
I don't feel like a lot of things would shake me, but there was no reference for that and

(57:18):
I was really caught off guard there.
Also the thong they made you wear?
Oh, so they like dressed her, like they helped get her dressed up for this, like the stylist
gave her a dress.
They forced her to wear a certain type of underwear?
I guess so, to go with a dress.
Okay, alright.
Alright.
Let's go to the important stuff.

(57:40):
What do you know about edging and orgasm denial?
As a kink.
I mean, I know, everything I know I learned from romance novels, so I have not done any
research into this, but it's a fairly common trope in some of the stuff I've read, but

(58:02):
I have to say I also tend to lean on the side of like darker romance novels.
Yeah, no, I hear that.
So when I first understood what edging was, I mean, it came from not like a nice lens.
Oh, what was the lens?
It was like from a super misogynistic, like being in control in the bedroom and being

(58:25):
in control of someone else's release.
Like my understanding of edging when I first learned about it was men, like denying women
orgasms and not in a like extend your pleasure way, but in a like I'm in charge of that.
That's really interesting.
Yeah, because all the all the instances that come up in my world have been from the perspective

(58:50):
of yes, he's in control and yes, he will, you know, let you come when he's ready.
But it was always from the from the goal of like, trust me, this is going to be the best.
Yes, like for you, for the girl.
Yes, no, and I think that that is absolutely a whole side of it.

(59:11):
I do think there might have been like a little bit more of a misogynistic version.
For sure.
But it also like have you is this the first instance you've come across where it's the
male being edged?
This is the first instance I've come across where it's the male.
Yeah.
Okay.
I have read one book, but it was a male male book.

(59:31):
Okay.
And there's edging and chastity play and yeah.
So it's not, but again, like it's not from a misogynistic standpoint, obviously, but
yeah, it's come up a couple times in the books I've read actually.
Perhaps you'd like to explain what it is to our listeners.
Edging, I mean edging is the practice in sex of bringing someone to the precipice of organism,

(59:56):
bringing someone to the
Organisms.
Bringing someone to the precipice of orgasm and then denying them release.
And I think like in a healthy practice of it, eventually you like have that release
together.
We're going to learn that maybe beats version of edging is not the most healthy.

(01:00:18):
Interesting.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think the goal typically is you deny the orgasm until you let it happen and it's like the
biggest and most grand orgasm.
Yeah.
I will, I'll send you the link.
There is a full like health website that has the how to's on edging and what the potential
benefits are.
I don't doubt that.

(01:00:39):
It's also like used by people who have issues with like premature ejaculation to try and
help them like get like sustained orgasm or sustained directions.
Like there's a whole world of edging that is outside of what I thought it was when I
first learned about it.
Right.
Okay.
I have a very vivid memory of having this conversation at a work lunch because my industry

(01:01:02):
is weird.
I'll say.
And somebody asking what edging was and me giving my understanding of it.
And like now going back, I want to call the people that were at the lunch.
I was like, I was wrong.
There are other things like that was not.
Can I ask who it was and we can be fit?
Do I know the person?
I mean, it was amazing.
Okay.
Yeah.

(01:01:23):
Yeah.
I definitely can't leave that in.
But like, no, I explained what edging was and I did it wrong.
And I think about that a lot.
Yeah.
You might want to call.
It's so funny.
It's weirder to call now and be like, I was wrong.
Yeah.
Can you imagine?
Yeah.

(01:01:43):
No.
Remember that work lunch where you asked me what edging was?
I have more information for you.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Back in.
So after this encounter, like he gets her off and he basically runs away.
So she hides from him, like goes into a room, tells him she's fine, doesn't come back out

(01:02:07):
until the cameras are in the apartment the next morning.
Because she doesn't want to like have a one on one.
Yeah, that's awkward as hell.
Yeah.
They're on the plane to go see her mom because they've already talked to his mom and they
finally discuss it.
And all of this obviously stems from Beats like dysfunction.
He feels like he's undeserving of the opportunities he has in the world and he gives back where

(01:02:28):
he can.
Like he started this foundation that give scholarships to performers without resources,
but it's not enough to balance the scales for him.
He feels like he hasn't earned relief.
So when he's 16 and the girl he's with, he asks the girl he's with to keep him on the
edge teasing him, she does it, but like ends her relations and their relationship immediately.

(01:02:51):
The same thing happens again.
So he starts going to like sex workers, sex clubs that specialize in this.
He explains it as like their places a person can go, Mel, clubs, sometimes private residences.
I find women willing to be discreet and he raises an eyebrow as if to say you get the
picture.
It's a transaction, not a relationship.
And that clear line is comfortable to me.

(01:03:13):
So yeah, the idea of like all like pleasure is a transaction.
It's not a relationship.
I know that like I've read about like NBA players that do that too.
Like refused to get married, refused to like even have like steady partners because the
risk of losing everything they've worked for is just not worth it.
So they'd rather just have transactional sex with people and just have a good time than

(01:03:36):
you know.
Yeah.
No, I mean, I, I'm not saying it's for me, but I can see the like, so we get to the middle
of nowhere and lots of hippie commune antics.
We find Trina, Melody's mother in a battle between her and the commune and some local

(01:03:56):
dudes dressed up as Santa.
So I genuinely love all of the women in this book.
So this is how Mel's mom is described the first time we meet her.
Trina Gallard stood in front of the bonfire wearing angel wings, not a Halloween costume
like he'd wrongly pictured.
No, they were black and purple spanning at least six feet.
Doc Martens were laced up to her knees.

(01:04:16):
She wore spandex shorts and something he thought might be called a boostier or a corset.
Maybe she had burning man.
No, she's just started a bonfire in a forest in New Hampshire and is standing there in
short shorts and a corset and wings in December.
The Doc Martens all the way up to the knees.
Yeah.
How long does that take to put on?

(01:04:38):
I mean, probably a while.
It takes me too long to put my three year old shoes on.
There's no way.
Sounds hot though.
That outfit like she could run.
She could walk the Victoria's Secret runway.
100%.
Yeah.
So they're there and during this weird conflict that's happening, Mel finds out that none

(01:05:00):
of the people her mother lives with know she exists.
Like her mother has not told them she has a daughter.
I'm sorry.
I thought you meant none of the people that her mom lives with knows that her mom exists.
And I was like, what in the fuck?
That'd be good.
They'll be good drugs.
It'd be like the angel lady is not real.

(01:05:20):
We are now in the sixth sense.
But despite that, when the Santas charge her mother, she steps in to protect her and ends
up getting arrested for decking the Santa, which of course makes Pete lose his fucking
mind.
So I think this is where we have reached the non-spoilery section of our book.

(01:05:45):
You know, we're a little bit over a third of the way in.
If you want to go read this book and not know what happens, this is your time to exit the
building.
I have a tiny little holiday present for you.
For me?
For you.
So on the very first episode, you coined this section of our podcast, the hot spot.

(01:06:06):
Hot spot, yeah.
And I have created a little audio that will now play when we go to hot plot spot.
It's shockingly hard to say.
Shockingly tricky to say, yeah.
This is the hot plot spot.
If you want to read this book with no spoilers, now is your chance to leave.

(01:06:29):
Oh, you're sticking around.
Do you remember your safe word?
Good girl.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, I'm sweating.
That is so good.
It's really good.
It's really good.
So that, if you didn't recognize it, is our good friend, Wayne Davis.

(01:06:50):
No.
Oh my God.
Wayne.
Oh my God.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at him the same way.
That was amazing.
I know.
I mean, it's more awkward because we are friends with him, but we are also close friends with
his wife.
Oh my God.
I'm dead.
I need to text him.
Oh my God.
Wayne, thank you so much.

(01:07:12):
That is so awesome.
I know.
I really, really love it.
So this is, it's going to happen now.
Every time we get to this part of the podcast, you will hear that and you can either scurry
away or stick around.
Did we get Megan's approval for this?
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
No.
Megan and Wayne, we love you.

(01:07:32):
Megan.
We love you so much.
I hope you're hearing this for the first time now because that would be amazing.
No, truly.
Wayne, thank you.
That is so awesome.
And now we get to hear his voice every time we record.
I love this.
I know.
It was, it was trying to find the perfect like romance novel narrator audio reference

(01:07:53):
sent me down some really interesting spirals because the good ones that you can find on
TikTok are saying the dirtiest things.
So you had to like, send the dirtiest shit to Wayne.
Like, I, like, I found something that had the right cadence that was like not as dirty
because I was like, I cannot send a full sex scene to my friend's husbands.

(01:08:14):
Like I can't text him.
Did he have like a million and one questions or was he just such a professional that he
was like, yeah, I'll do this.
Full professional.
He sent me a thing.
He's like, do you have any notes?
I was like, nope, no notes.
Perfect.
One take.
No, didn't one take.
So for everyone's reference, Wayne is an actor and a voice actor professionally.

(01:08:36):
So we didn't just send this like some random guy and was like, hey, can you record this
for us?
This is what he does, which is why he nailed it in one take.
But that is wild.
Thanks, Wayne.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay.
So we're in it.
We're in the hot plot spot and we're back.
So Mel and her mother are now locked up in jail waiting for beat and the producers to

(01:08:57):
come get them out.
The continuing thread of the live stream and the momentum that it's gaining is really consistent.
Like I like that we kind of keep learning how things are ticking up.
And we find out here that there are forums and some of the police officers are on them
and reporting back while there's no live stream.
Oh my God, how unprofessional.

(01:09:18):
Yeah.
There's no way that's legal.
I mean, I'm sure it's not, but it is small town, New Hampshire.
So as they come in, her mom is like, which ones of you are going to ask for autographs
and pretend that you don't know me after?
Like again.
So Mel and her mom get like a little bit real in prison.

(01:09:39):
They talk about the reunion.
Trina is 100% against it.
Even the idea of fans being excited.
She's like, they think the, she thinks the fans love Octavia and hate her.
She admits that there was a love triangle.
There's a parallel between her opinions of herself and her daughter's opinions of herself.
Yes.
Good writing.
Okay.
She admits that there was a love triangle that split them up.

(01:10:01):
She's like, we swore from day one, we'll never be normal.
But look what happened.
A penis came between us.
A human man.
Not even a half decent one.
I like that.
Wait, do we know who Melody's biological father is?
We do not.
But Melody's kind of like very open about that.
She's like, yeah, my mom's not sure.
And they like make a joke of it at one point.
She's like, could have been Mr. Belding from Save by the Bell.

(01:10:25):
Could have been Keanu Reeves.
But it's not the drummer.
No, it is not the drummer.
They are not brother and sister.
Okay.
Just checking.
Uh, yeah, I think that she has some reference to like it was some Rody early on.
Then Trina tries to like give Mel advice or Melody advice.
She's like, be careful with beats.
You can't trust anyone but yourself.

(01:10:47):
And Mel immediately responds.
She's like, yeah, I know you've shown me that.
You've shown me I can only depend on myself.
I taught myself how to be okay.
Being okay is goals.
But I don't think being okay means avoiding anyone who might test your version of okay.
Sometimes the okay boundary changes.
You have to fucking step into it.
You have to find your okay again and again and again until we die.

(01:11:09):
Welcome to being human.
I mean, that's real talk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's just this like slight empowerment of like being wanted by this guy that she
always wanted kind of in her teenage lizard brain.
Just to have unlocked a version of her where she's like, no, I'm not going to like sit
back and pretend anymore.

(01:11:30):
So beat arrives immediately like scooping her up, checking her risks, her risks.
And it's like super irritated with her mom.
You know, she makes a joke like, are you going to check my wrist too?
He's like, I don't think Mel's as familiar with being like handcuffed as you are.
I think you're fine.
Ouch.
Yeah.
And she's like, oh, your mother's poisoned you.

(01:11:51):
He's like, nope.
She didn't do anything.
I have my own eyes.
Like I can make my own decisions.
And obviously the way that she's treating Melody, he's not cool with.
So Trina's like, it's okay.
Like let's throw a party for Mel since you guys are here.
And of course you guys can stay over in the one bedroom we have left.

(01:12:11):
So we have the only one bedroom.
Here's the thing.
I, I love there's only one bed, but I love it when it's a like straight up enemies to
lovers.
I want you to hate each other and be like stuck journeying together.
And then it's cold and you're stuck and there's one bed.
It's not my favorite trope, but if I'm going to, if it's going to be in a book that I'm

(01:12:32):
reading, I want it to be like that.
I want them to be super pissed about it.
Yeah.
This super swoonie adorable couple that like, yeah, they have, they're having some issues
because there's some, you know, not matching kinks.
Having to share a twin bed is not particularly like trying.
What do they do?
Just like cuddle first?
Well, so they go to the party.
He and her mom kind of go at it again.

(01:12:53):
She calls her mom out for hiding, running away.
She acts all tough, but like she's so scared.
Sorry, she acts all tough, but she's so scared to deal with anything that she's literally
got this whole commune forbidden from talking about or singing songs by steelbirds.
So of course, Mel grabs a guitar, jumps up and gets beat to sing, rattle the cage with
her.

(01:13:13):
His description of her in this moment is amazing.
So I'm just going to read it really quickly.
I'm doing a lot of reading in this episode, but I feel like there's like lots of little
things.
She was glorious, brave and uninhibited and a little sad, a lot wise.
Even as he sang, beats throat burned with the need to reach back into the past and rearrange
every hour of his life.
So it could have been spent with her knowing that's really sweet, a little tragic, really

(01:13:35):
tragic.
So after that, obviously it's on their heading.
They're heading upstairs.
She does stop to tell her mother not to bother coming to visit in February.
Okay.
Yeah.
I can rise to that level of petty.
Yeah.
And then they go on and they have some incredibly hot sex.
What you read in your cold read section, obviously not.

(01:13:56):
We had to get to the edging, but you know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of like intense
dirty talk.
We're in his POV at the end and he, because he pulls out and he comes, but not with her.
And he laments like that he wasn't able to share that moment with her.
It was the best experience of his life, but literally at the end his brain was like, you

(01:14:20):
don't deserve this.
And he pulled out.
Okay.
Yeah.
And the next day she's super confused.
She slips out early.
They take a moment in the car before the live stream starts and beats super worried that
he hurt her.
And she's like, I loved what we did last night.
Every second it was perfect.
You told me on the plane that you don't want to let anyone in at the end.

(01:14:40):
And that's your right.
That's totally okay.
But I didn't expect it to make me feel so.
Okay.
I don't, all right.
I'm having an issue with that, but okay.
Well, that's, that's what I want to say.
Like, what are your thoughts?
My God, you guys didn't come together.
Who the fuck cares?
Like maybe I'm, maybe I need to like read the whole, like more of like the context.

(01:15:02):
Yeah.
But like, it just seems odd to be like, did she not get off at all?
Or like, did he make it like abundantly clear that he like didn't want to experience it
with her?
Like, I don't really understand.
So he did make it clear like before when he talked about his like, yeah, inclinations.
And so it was like, she got off, everything was fine.
They were having this great moment, but like, it's like, he can't trust her with that moment

(01:15:26):
with himself.
How many times are they hooked up up to now?
At this point, this is only their second.
Like, oh my God, get the fuck over it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's like, it's not about you, but maybe she's someone who needs to be let in.
Like, it's not that you're wrong, but maybe I need that.
And the network's now approved a second producer and camera.
So she's like, I think we need to take a little bit of time.

(01:15:47):
Like, they don't have to be together 24 seven.
Let's take a couple of days.
When they land in New York, they are greeted by like a beetle mania level of fans.
The producer reveals that the performance that they did broke the internet.
And there's now this like massive fervor, both for melody, like signs, melody galore

(01:16:08):
is my love language and for them as a couple, they even have a couple name.
Can you guess what that a couple names?
It's not meat.
I'm going to be so mad.
It's not meat.
What is it?
It's Bellaty.
Bellaty, of course.
Fuck that.
Meat is so much better.
I mean, if you say I ship meat, that is so many other content.

(01:16:30):
It's so much funnier.
Like, it is funnier.
This is okay.
Hang on.
Hang on.
I'm just thinking about this recently.
You have mentioned that Taylor Swift comes up in like a lot of books that you read.
Yes.
And you are a Swifty.
Yes, absolutely.
You went to the concerts, the heiress tour, whatever.

(01:16:51):
Yeah.
I said heiress.
Really weird there.
Sorry.
I said it like heiress.
She's an heiress.
Which I guess she kind of is.
For such a massive group of fans, how did people land on Swifty?
Like that is the worst group name.
I don't like Swifty.
I mean, there are a lot of worst group names.
There's just not as many of those terrible groups.

(01:17:13):
You're probably right.
Like do you remember when there was a fervor around Benedict Cumberbatch and they called
themselves the Cumberbitches?
Kid, that's hilarious.
I love that.
See, okay, so maybe I need some humor when it comes to these things.
You just want the joke.
You just want the joke.
That is so good.
I can't believe you brought that up as a reference for a bad group name.
I want to be a Cumberbitch.

(01:17:34):
Oh my God.
Swifty is just like so lame.
And so you had the opportunity to do Meet and you went with Abelity?
Yeah.
Okay, wait, question.
You asked me my opinions on how she felt the next day.
And I didn't ask you how you felt about it.
I mean, I think in this moment, because I've read the whole book and I'm like in it, I

(01:17:58):
can see it from her perspective.
So she's going to give you a little more perspective right now.
Maybe that'll help.
All right.
So this is happening and they're about to go their separate ways, which is a surprise
to everyone that it's happening so fast.
And so she says, if she left things unsettled between them, she'd regret it for the next
48 hours.

(01:18:18):
Melody turned to look at the camera, then back at beat, leaning closer to whisper in
his ear.
I think you hold yourself back because you were outcast by those kids when you opened
up to them.
What you enjoy is beautiful if it's for the right reasons, but if it's for the wrong
ones, I'm just not sure I can do what happened last night again.
No matter what they'll be, we're best friends.
I think we may have been this whole time without even seeing each other.

(01:18:38):
So she's like, you can have that.
It's just, I didn't like how it made me feel in that moment.
And I think that's a very honest way to approach sex.
You can do something, enjoy it in the moment, and then not love that you did it or the way
you felt afterwards.
Totally.
Totally.
I get that part.
I think maybe I'm missing what actually happened because she's talking about how she didn't

(01:19:01):
like how she felt when it happened.
Yeah.
Was the it just that he...
Basically like rather than them having this sexual experience and ending it together, when
they got to the end, he pulled away and was separate from her.
It's not that she needed them to like come together in this magical kismet organism that
happens exactly at the same moment.
It was that she was there and giving him her vulnerability.

(01:19:24):
And then when it came to that time, like when he was going to be vulnerable, he pulled away
from her and closed himself off.
Am I crazy that I genuinely don't think I care?
Am I like am I a monster?
You're just like as long as I get an orgasm, I'm fine.
It's not even that.
It's like he got an orgasm too.
Right?
I don't even know if I would notice that that's maybe weird.

(01:19:47):
I don't know.
I think I would just be like, oh, okay, this guy likes to come over there.
Well, and I mean, here's the thing, like they had talked about it.
So she knew this was a thing.
Wouldn't that make it easier?
I don't know.
You would think.
But this is interesting.
I mean, she also is carrying a lot of insecurities.

(01:20:08):
Right.
So maybe she felt insecure by the fact that he didn't want to be with her in that moment.
Yeah.
I mean, like this might be an overshare.
So we might cut this out.
Who are you talking to right now?
In one of my less than functional relationships in my 20s, I was with somebody who would
lose his erection sometimes.

(01:20:30):
And it was never explicitly said it's your fault and because you're not enough.
But that was definitely the undercurrent of those situations.
And I was taking on like that I wasn't enough for him for that moment for what was happening.
I feel like that makes way more sense to me.
That I would feel the exact same way.
And I don't know that I don't even know that somebody could convince me that that's not

(01:20:54):
the case.
Yeah.
I was like, I don't know.
No, I hear you.
But I'm thinking like if she just wants there to be like that connection.
I don't know.
I'm trying to imagine I'm giving someone a blow job and then right at the end, they
like turn away from me so they're not looking at me anymore.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like they're not sharing that you're no longer part of this for them.

(01:21:14):
I'm going to keep my comments to myself.
All I could think there was like, imagine there's a way to give a blow job where you're not
there.
My goodness.
Okay.
All right.
I think I might.
So if I read this book, I think I'll have more context to it.
And I mean, I think your, your opinion is a total valid one.

(01:21:37):
Like I think you can totally be like, I don't know how to get her problem.
Like, yeah, I could probably read this book and also come away with this thing.
Like I do not understand.
Yeah.
So they go their separate ways.
Beat sees his mom, who's like become a total Melody Stan reconnects with some of his friends
who call him out.
And like now having seen you with Melody, we realized that you've been holding yourself
back this whole time.
Like we would love to get to know you, sir.

(01:21:59):
Right.
And Beat is secretly sneaking in peaks of the live stream to see what Melody's up to.
So it's been like less than two days and she's heading for her work colleagues, Bocci
game.
She's there with all of the live streamers watching her.
So he does the logical thing, which is convinced to have his friends to come with him and they

(01:22:21):
draw her name in pink paint on their bare chests and head to Brooklyn.
I'm sitting here nodding, thinking like I knew where this was going.
And then you went and made a total left turn and I was signaling right.
What?
Yep.
Yep.
They take their shirts off and he paints an M on his chest and his friends paint an E

(01:22:44):
and an L and they head to a bar in Brooklyn to go support her playing Bocci.
Oh my God.
Okay.
There's, you know, sweetness.
He supports her.
She does well in the Bocci.
And then they head out for the most obvious activity, a drunken snowball fight in Prospect
Park.
Okay, that's cute.
Yeah.
Bocci.
I mean, how serious was this Bocci game?

(01:23:06):
I don't think, I don't know.
I don't think it was that serious, but she was taking it very seriously.
Mid game, Beat realizes he doesn't want to hold back from her.
He wants to share everything with her.
There are hordes of fans because there's a live stream, so their location is fairly fucking
obvious.
So they swap hats and jackets with their friends and sneak out.

(01:23:28):
And they get to her house and she's like, what changed?
Like this, it's been less than 48 hours.
Like what could have changed?
And he goes, maybe I've never been unguarded like that with my friends, with anyone, but
I loved being that way with you.
Just open, exposed.
There's no judgment, no guilt.
And I think that's because you're the good part of me I've been missing.
You're the one who gets me.
I just want you to have all of me.

(01:23:50):
God knows I want all of you.
So he tells her, tells her about the blackmail, not who the person is, but that it's his biological
dad.
And like a rational fucking human, she's like, you should tell your mom.
Duh.
You can't, yeah, you can't sustain this.
He's going to keep asking for more money.
Like you could pay him now, but he's going to come back.

(01:24:11):
And he's just like, can't it be enough that I told you?
And she's like, okay, this is a big step.
We're going to leave it for the moment, but we are coming back to this.
No, wait a second.
No.
She leaves it for the night.
She's very.
My God.
Can't it be enough that I tell you and what, you still just keep paying the guy?
I know she's not going to let him pay the guy, at least in her mind.

(01:24:31):
She's like, we're going to have another conversation about this.
But for tonight, I'm going to drop it.
Okay.
They had some really important sex to get to Ricky.
I get that part.
To get to the sex.
And while they're having sex, she basically gives him permission to still enjoy what he
likes.
Like they incorporate the edging into it.
Just because he isn't holding back at the end doesn't mean he can't enjoy the process,

(01:24:53):
which I think he thought was a thing.
Like it was like all or nothing.
The next day, looking entirely freshly fucked, they open the door to a live camera already
pointing at them.
Oh my God.
Beat as much as he wants to protect her from everything is also kind of thrilled that the
world now knows.
Like the world knows she's his.
It's so funny that that's his reaction and mine is, my price just went up.

(01:25:15):
I'm no longer at 5,000.
We're at like 25,000.
Yeah.
I mean, I think if you knew you were being followed, you'd be a little more careful about
how you open the door.
There would be no door opening.
It would be a 24 hour live stream of me pretending I'm on the toilet so that nobody is filming
me.
Okay.
So they head off to do the Today Show, which is where we have our very next twist.

(01:25:38):
Right after they confirm on air that they are indeed a couple, Hoda pulls out a surprise
guest, Fletcher Carr, the original drummer from Steelbirds, who's there to offer his
participation in the reunion and is the man blackmailing Beat.
Ooh.
Okay.
Yeah.
So after the taping while Mel is off becoming besties with Hoda, Fletcher threatens Beat.

(01:26:02):
He can see how much Mel cares for him and if he won't pay, Fletcher's going to ask
Mel.
Hang on.
I'm going to give him on air.
No.
Fuck.
On air?
He pretended.
Yeah.
He pretended he didn't.
Well, he wants, he doesn't want the secret to come out.
Mel doesn't know that that's who it is, right?
Mel only knows he's being blackmailed by his bio dad.
Oh, okay.
Okay.

(01:26:22):
Yeah.
All right.
And Hoda's like, and this is the first time you've ever met.
And Beat's like, yeah, even though no.
And no one's like, wow, you guys look remarkably alike.
That does not come up.
I never talk about them having like a physical resemblance.
I hadn't thought about it, honestly.
Then Beat does another stupid thing, like not telling people, stupid, not confronting

(01:26:45):
him stupid, paying him stupid, but his next stupid thing is that in trying to protect
Mel, he tells Fletcher they aren't really together.
He breaks up with her.
He tells them they aren't really together, that it's all for show.
So she comes back and he shrugs her off, acts indifferent, trying to prove this lie,
and then knowing he can't...
Men are stupid.

(01:27:05):
Yeah.
And then knows he can't be around her and keep this up.
So he tells her he's got a lot going on between now and Christmas Eve, and it's his turn for
a break.
Oh my God.
This is infuriating.
Super infuriating.
And this seems to happen in every book.
Yes.
Super infuriating.
Okay.
So she's very, very sad.
She's moping around.
She can't like hide in her bed because she's being followed by cameras.

(01:27:28):
So she does the most cliche thing she can think of and cuts her own bangs.
PSA, please don't ever cut your own bangs.
And if you think you want to cut bangs, even if you have an appointment with a professional,
give it another two days.
If you still want to cut your bangs, then go on and do it.

(01:27:48):
But yeah.
But I genuinely think we connect our high emotions to our bangs for some reason.
It's weird.
I've done it too.
It's like when you want, when somebody says something mean to you and you're like, okay,
I'm going to respond and you want to respond like up here.
But then everyone's like, just wait a day and then respond tomorrow and it'll be like

(01:28:08):
down here.
That's the length of your bangs.
The quicker you do it, the shorter they're going to be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Melody ends up with...
Have you done that?
Have you cut your bangs?
I have cut my bangs.
Like an emotional.
I absolutely have done that.
I had bangs previously.
So when I cut them, they were only half grown out.
So I was able to get a pretty passable bang.

(01:28:31):
Did you do it yourself?
Not the first time, but I did.
I absolutely did cut.
The second time you did.
Wow.
But again, there was a section of hair that was markedly shorter than the rest of my hair.
So I knew what I needed to cut because I think I used to trim my own bangs.
So I had like really thick bangs for a really long time and I would trim them whenever like

(01:28:52):
there were little long hairs or whatever.
And I think I slowly was bringing more and more hair forward when I was trimming.
So they were the thickest bangs on planet earth and I have like curly ass hair.
So I would just get like this weird like curly layer of bang underneath the straightened
layer of bang by halfway through the day.
It was so attractive.

(01:29:14):
So hot.
I only had bangs as a kid.
I had like the 90s like...
Oh, I know.
I've seen the pictures.
They're good.
Oh yeah.
I forgot.
The curler brush bangs.
But then after when I stopped bleaching my hair, I had to do it.
I had to do like a curtain bang because my hair was so dead that like I needed to cut
off a whole bunch in the front.

(01:29:35):
Never done it on my own.
Yeah, it's not.
I do not recommend.
Do not cut your own bangs.
I do not.
Do not do it.
Give it 48 hours at minimum.
So she's you know moping, heading home, being followed by crowds of fans who are all just
asking her like where beat is.
And she finds someone sitting on her stoop.

(01:29:56):
Who do you think is on her stoop?
Where'd you go?
No.
The drummer.
Her mom.
Her mom is on.
Get the fuck out of here lady.
She's not there for the reunion.
She's there for Mel.
She didn't like how they left things.
I would have been like mom, I'm, I have an appointment to go cut my own bangs.
Can you fuck off?
Yeah.
Instead she's like a little...
I guess she already, she already cut her bangs.
She cut her bangs.
She's a little emotional wreck.

(01:30:16):
She burst into tears.
And then...
Fine.
Her mom hugs her back and they go upstairs and she's like it figures that the first
time we ever have a hard time conversation millions of people are watching.
Fortunately for them and unfortunately for the producers, the live stream crashes because
there's such an uptick in viewers now that her mother has arrived.

(01:30:37):
So they get a little bit to talk.
Melody gives her a little bit more of insight into like, you know, I never told you why
I played guitar, that I played guitar because you have this like success and you're gonna
be measured against it.
And so her mom responds, it's ironic that you didn't tell me about learning to play
guitar because you didn't think you'd measure up because I don't talk to my housemates
about you because I know I haven't been a very good mother.

(01:30:58):
So there's this like lovely moment of responsibility taking.
And I like that idea of all it takes to start the path to like fixing your relationship is
for the person to acknowledge they did something wrong.
Yeah.
I mean that's always the first step.
So they talk, they talk about what's been happening.
Melody learns that Fletcher is the reason the band broke up and she puts the pieces

(01:31:22):
together.
She tells her mom about the blackmail and her mom's like, we need to go see Octavia.
Like, okay, so they're gonna do it.
So beat this whole time has been fanatically hiding in the bathroom to watch Mel's side
of the live stream.
Ah, a man of my own heart.
Okay.
Yes.
Although he turns on the shower.
So they think he's just a compulsive shower instead of shitting.

(01:31:44):
Okay.
Well, that's one way to do it for sure.
It's true.
He also is consistent constantly calling the producer to make sure that Mel's safe and
then the live stream cuts out and he loses his mind.
It forces him to like acknowledge things.
He realized his mistake.
Yes, protecting his mom and dad was noble, but this cycle was never going to end.
He has to come clean and he goes to it with the intention to tell his mom, but she's already

(01:32:07):
received a tape from someone at the Today Show beat and Fletcher's Mike Pex were still
on when they were talking after the show.
There it is.
I was going to ask, when does this come back?
Yeah.
Honestly, I kept thinking it would come up with beat and melody, like they would say
something or that like beat would say something and melody would overhear it.
Like I was waiting for them and then no, not even a little bit.

(01:32:30):
It was the black.
Have you ever witnessed a hot Mike situation?
I have witnessed some hot Mike situations.
Was it like at work?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
It's less entertaining.
Yeah.
No.
My favorite is the people who forget to often go to the bathroom like that.
Yeah.
Okay.

(01:32:50):
So that's why I was asking one of my professors in university did that and it was hysterical.
I felt so bad for him, but it was really funny.
But then there's like situations like the Jinx.
So good.
So good.
No.
I know.
Everyone go watch the Jinx if you haven't already.
It's like a million years old.
He's dead.
Yay.
So bye.
Bye bye.

(01:33:11):
The beat confirms that he's known for five years that Fletcher was his dad.
Before they can get into it, Trina and Melody arrive and our lovers are reunited.
They listen to the tape.
Beat is like full of regret and then Octavia gets pissed and Trina is here for it.

(01:33:32):
She's like, that is the badass bitch that I remember.
So they're going to serve some revenge.
Octavia talks about wanting to fillet his dick and feed him his balls.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Whoa.
So they're going to get some revenge and Trina thinks they should do it at the reunion.
Okay.
Beat tries to talk to Melody, but she's not ready.

(01:33:53):
She misses him, but she can't talk yet.
His lack of trust in her, faith in them is too much.
She is okay apparently with fucking in the backstairway.
I mean, okay, who isn't?
They come together again.
He's constantly like reassuring her.
He's in this.
They keep the same mistakes again.
They come down, but she's still leaving.
It's two days till Christmas Eve.

(01:34:13):
She just needs time to figure out how she's feeling.
And he's still surprised like in this moment that after everything came out, the secret
he'd been keeping didn't change his mom.
Like he thought she would look at him differently because even though they're not together, they're
still like have this weird friendship connection.
So he feels like you can tell Mel this thought and she reassures him.

(01:34:34):
She's like, love doesn't come and go that easily, Beat.
You need to believe you can lean on it even when you have to lean really hard.
I think maybe the people who love us want to be tested and leaned on sometimes so they
can show us how much we mean.
Expressing love and trust is a gift to the person who receives it.
It's not an immediate, everything is fine, but like we're on the path, obviously.

(01:34:55):
Is there like an epilogue?
Oh, we're not at the end yet.
We haven't got there.
Oh, geez, I thought this was the end.
Oh my God.
Okay.
So then we get to the actual Christmas Eve.
This is two days later.
Oh, right.
We haven't even had Christmas yet.
Yeah, it's Christmas Eve.
So they get there, you know, on the way, obviously, like Beat's mom has told his dad, his dad

(01:35:15):
kind of pulls him aside, like, you're my son in every way that matters.
I was there when you were born.
Like, blood doesn't mean anything.
Yeah.
He's the person I feel worst for in this whole thing.
Yeah, they really don't get into it.
Like, I don't have any sense.
I don't think he knew.
Like I think this was new information to him.
So the fact that he was able to so quickly come around to like reassure my boy, I love

(01:35:37):
your mom, doesn't matter.
It's very impressive.
I think there would be.
Yeah.
Like there's another book where that she probably didn't write into that character as much as
she could.
Yeah.
I mean, to be fair, there were a lot of more fleshed out characters than you normally get.
Like usually it's like two and a friend.
For sure.
For sure.
There's a lot of moving parts in this book.

(01:35:57):
I'm already like, I mean, can't believe I'm patting myself on the back for keeping
out.
There's a romance between the producer and the cameraman, which we don't even get into.
Okay.
So they're there and they've asked Beat to introduce the band and he's like, well, Mel
should do it too.
And they're like, well, she doesn't like the spotlight.
And he's just like, you are too amazing to be hiding.

(01:36:17):
So they do it together.
They're swept up in the moment and he lays one on her.
They have this like fantastic kiss.
They come off stage.
And as they're coming off stage, he's so overwhelmed with this idea that like anything
less than everything with her would kill him.
When she pulls her hand out of his for a second, he just keeps walking and leaves like a fucking

(01:36:39):
drama queen.
Okay.
Interesting.
Interesting choice.
So Mel wants to follow him.
But their moms have just taken the stage.
They have worked really hard to do this and she wants to, she can't miss this moment of
them coming together.
Her relationship with her mom won't be the same.
Like she has made it better.

(01:36:59):
She has changed this pattern in her life.
On stage, Octavia and Trina, who are by the way, I would absolutely go see this band.
Like I am down for this kind of like badass chick energy.
I'll go with you.
I like this.
Yeah.
They outfletcher as the reason that the band broke up.
Okay.
They're like, when we started Steelbirds, we vowed never to fall victim to the jealousy

(01:37:24):
and inflated egos that break up nearly every great band.
But that promise got lost somewhere along the way.
I guess we lost a little of ourselves.
It took our kids to come along and pull our heads out of our asses.
Octavia quietly tells Fletcher, her whole family knows about Beat's paternity.
She will tell the whole world before he sees another dime.
So he should fuck off to obscurity where he belongs.

(01:37:45):
This by the way, is the biggest suspension of disbelief for me.
There's no way he's not going to get a massive payday to tell his side of the story.
Whether or not he's the villain, like people are trash and they will pay.
I agree.
Yeah.
Like they've just said, he's the reason they broke up.
He's about to get a book deal, a movie, multiple interviews.
He's fine.
Yeah.
This is what should have happened in the first place.

(01:38:06):
And then he would have gotten all this money from all these book deals and whatever else
anyway.
Yeah.
And Beat wouldn't have been spending all the money he didn't have.
True.
So before the concert continues, they want to pay a tribute to Beat and Melody.
So a video rolls starts with them at the production office before they agreed to do
the show, which is like a little bit sketchy.

(01:38:27):
Like they're being filmed before they had said they would do it.
How'd they get footage of that?
They were being secretly filmed when they had not given permission yet.
Okay.
So that's, that's illegal.
Yeah.
Um, and then them through the last two weeks, and then it finally ends with footage of them
meeting at age 16.
It's like, there's no audio because they weren't mic'd at that point, but they can see

(01:38:47):
them having this moment.
And then they cut to Beat being interviewed.
And the, you know, reporter asks him, like, is everything okay?
He's like, sorry, I just, I finally got to meet Melody Gallard.
And they ask him, was she ever the new expected?
He's like, no.
That's cute.
So cute.
I like that this big romantic gesture isn't coming from him.
Like this is the big grand gesture moment.

(01:39:07):
Yeah, but it's by their moms.
Their moms.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Amazing.
So she realizes like he fucked up, but he really had trusted her and had faith in her
from the beginning.
He just like has a fucked up way of having faith in her, like protecting her.
So she naturally needs to find him and can't possibly wait to call him and have him get

(01:39:28):
back to her.
She's got to go.
So no more live stream where she can stalk and find out where he is.
She rushes out into the night, no codon to the massive group of fans outside.
This weird communities come together for the, around the show and they immediately help
her.
There are message boards and there are spottings of him.
So they as a mass like docks him basically and track him down to a bar.

(01:39:51):
It's like gossip girl in real life.
Really is.
Spot it at grand central station.
So this is, you know, this is our final moments finds in the park.
You're so much better than I was expecting to his features softened.
His eyes exploring hers intently.
What?
That's what you said when we were 16 right after we met.
You said I was better than you expected.
You were melody.

(01:40:12):
He said roughly you are.
We become better when we're together.
Every second, every minute makes us both better.
You feel that too.
Don't you?
Do I feel it?
He choked out.
I feel like I'm going to be something else when I've got you believing in me.
And you believe in me too.
She said going up on her toes to brush their lips together.
You believed in me enough to bring me on this journey with you brought me along to fight
the monsters.
You might have made choices to keep me out of the battles and I understand why I understand

(01:40:35):
that protecting me is how you show your love.
But we fought the war together.
We won because we get to love each other.
We won because there's no one you trust more than me and no one I trust more than you.
I believe in that.
You showed me that by finding me again in the first place, we get to be together beat.
It's such a cute.
Nice reference to the gift, the Christmas situation.
Here's the thing.
It's a little bit abrupt.

(01:40:56):
They come together.
We don't get a huge amount after.
This scene does continue just long enough for him to bust out an engagement ring that
he happened to have on it.
As you do.
I'm like, I would have been much happier if this was our last line.
I thought this was the last line, but good to know.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that was wreck the hulls.
Love it.
Very cute.

(01:41:16):
Yeah.
I like my favorite Tessa Bailey book, but I really like, I like it.
It's fun.
Obviously, like I have a vested interest in weird bands and yes, reality TV and all those
things kind of like come together and it takes place somewhat around Christmas.
It's literally not a Christmas.

(01:41:36):
No.
Like aside from the gift thing at the end, there's no, I feel like I was conned into
wearing a Santa hat for no reason.
I mean, if it helps, I didn't ask you to wear a Santa hat.
You just offset you were doing a Christmas movie because we're releasing this one in
time for Christmas.
I mean Christmas book.
God damn it.
My brain is mush.
It's fine.

(01:41:57):
Next week, I'm expecting you to show up with a fireman's hat on.
I have one of those.
The book has nothing to do with firemen, but that's what I'm expecting.
You really committed.
You wore this whole time.
You know what?
It's actually really cold.
To go back, to go back to my audio issues for anybody listening, I have to record in
my basement because my two kids are asleep upstairs and then my husband is likely asleep

(01:42:21):
on the couch on the main floor and everything is very open concept.
There's no like rooms that I can go into.
I have to record in the basement and for some reason my basement has ridiculously high
ceilings.
Everything echoes, but it's also very cold.
I am wearing two pairs of pants and a pair of slippers, a sweatshirt and this Santa hat.

(01:42:43):
It's really toasty.
It's keeping my head nice and warm, but that's why I sound like I'm underwater.
Working on the audio situation.
We're going to figure it out.
It's going to be great.
You've now heard the whole book, so I don't know if you need to, but would you read this
book?
It's an interesting one for me.

(01:43:04):
I feel like it would be a book I would add to my to read list.
But it would not come to the top.
It's not going right up to the top because when I, and you know, I think as we continue
doing this, people are going to start to notice that you and I have themes that we follow.
And I lean towards the darker side, like 95% of the time.

(01:43:28):
So this toes the line in terms of like the themes of the book.
Like I love that there was like a, you know, love triangle and like, you know, people didn't
know who his birth dad was and birth father, whatever.
I love that side of it, but it's not going to the top of my list.
Yeah.
It's a little soft and squishy.
Yeah.
And I mean, I, I get it.
It lives on that side of the like, if the books are a spectrum, it is on the pink like

(01:43:52):
side.
Oh, what color is the other side?
Is it black?
Black.
Just checking, making sure we're both.
It's a nice little, little blend.
Yeah.
It's a gradient.
I got it.
I pictured it pretty well.
Yeah.
It's somewhere on the pink side, but not too far to the left.
And then I lean more towards the black side.
So, but very cute book.
Love tearing about it.

(01:44:12):
Love that it mirrored your personal life.
A little.
Yeah.
It's got some weird mixed reviews on Goodreads.
There's like 80,000 reads.
It's got a three and a half star average.
Okay.
And you know, the majority are like three and four star.
There's, you know, some very, very angry one star reviews.
About what?
I don't know.

(01:44:33):
They don't like, a lot of them don't like the name beat.
That seemed to be a recurring theme.
I mean, I don't love it either.
I'll be honest.
No, but I don't love it.
And I thought Melody is so funny because when I was a kid, I used to be a singer and I always
thought that if I had a daughter, I was going to name her Melody.
This was when I was very, very little and my mom's name is Melanie.

(01:44:55):
And the only reason I was like, now I'm not going to name my daughter Melody was because
it's just way too close to Melanie and it would just like drive me nuts.
But as I got older, I was like, Oh, you know what name I'm not a huge fan of.
Melody.
Yeah.
I mean, they do, she does use it like there is absolutely a scene where he's thinking about

(01:45:16):
them and he's like, there is no beat without a Melody.
I mean, yes, you had to.
If you're going to name your characters that, it also reminds me, now this is, this is a
deep cut here, but the little mermaid to return to the sea.
Ariel's daughter's name is Melody.
I did not know that.
So that's what I think of.
Yep.
Yeah.

(01:45:37):
It's not really the exact same story, but from land to the sea.
Okay.
Instead of from sea to land.
She just wants to be a mermaid.
Excellent.
Excellent.
Yes.
I've never seen a little mermaid too.
I'm not going to lie.
This is the first time I've heard about it.
Didn't know it existed.
It exists, I swear.
Yeah.

(01:45:57):
I could actually sing a song for it right now, but I will not.
Amazing.
It's kind of like the like third through 10th land before times where I was like, they exist.
But like really?
The first one amazing.
They're good.
I would watch all of them.
I actually, I think I told you this.
I started watching them before time with Grayson because he's, he loves dinosaurs and I was
like, oh, I have like this great movie that we can watch.

(01:46:19):
Totally forgot how sad that movie is.
And we got to the point where we're like the T-Rex and and little foots mom are like about
to fight.
And I'm going like, wait, what, what's about to happen here?
And then I, it like clicked, like all came together at once.
And I quickly was like, Grayson, what's that over there?
And he like looked over to the side and I'm like, fast forward.

(01:46:40):
And then he managed to, he missed the sad part, thankfully, but then little foots like
looking for his mom and he keeps seeing his shadow, which is like so much bigger than him.
So he keeps like running towards the shadow because he thinks it's his mom and I'm sitting
on the couch just fucking blubbering.
And my son is like, what is going on?
And I'm like, you know what, maybe this just isn't a movie we should watch.

(01:47:01):
I mean, we were formed by movies where the parents die.
Like Bambi.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it's three and a half.
I mean, so were we at that.
At some point, were we, they don't make, they don't make these movies.
Like they don't kill off the parents the same way anymore.
What a shame.
I know.

(01:47:21):
I don't know.
I feel like kids make you watch things with a whole new perspective.
For sure.
And so just again, like not to fully bring it back to me every time, but have you watched
Tangled?
Yeah.
Okay.
I really liked that movie.
Andy Moore, Zachary Lee, but they're great.
That movie I like loved.

(01:47:43):
And when I had my very first foster daughter, we had a movie night and we're looking at options
and she liked the trailer of the girl with the pretty long hair and we put it on and
we're like five minutes into this movie and this tiny little blonde girl has been taken
away from her biological parents and has been put in the tower with someone she's

(01:48:04):
thinking, you're called mom.
And I'm like, oh my God, I have made mistakes.
Oh my God.
Did she put two and two together?
No.
No, I was never called mother Gothel.
Thank God.
But like, I mean, can you imagine?
Oh my God, that is so funny.

(01:48:24):
I would never have thought of that.
Never.
Me either.
So do you have a preview for us for next week?
I do.
I do.
Okay.
We're jumping into one that I actually thought I was going to do much later on, but when
I've been thinking about what my next move should be, can't seem to shake this one and
I have opinions.
So here is my teaser.
In a city where power and secrets rule, James Berry seeks revenge against the one who stole

(01:48:49):
everything from him.
When he meets a darling young woman tied to his enemy, he sees her as the ultimate pawn
in his dangerous game.
But as sparks fly and emotions tangle, their connection grows deeper and he pulls Wendy
into his seedy underground full of lost souls and tried loyalty.
But tick tock, James only has so long to get the revenge he's been waiting his whole life

(01:49:11):
for and it'll take a little faith, trust, and well, we'll talk about the rest next
week.
Oh, I'm so excited.
I absolutely know what to put.
I absolutely know what this book is.
I'm really excited.
I have mentioned it to you on many occasions and my opinion of it changes just about every
single time we talk about it.
So we're going to probably go through a spectrum of emotions with this book.

(01:49:34):
I cannot wait.
Yeah, it'll be good.
Yeah, I cannot wait.
All right.
Well, thanks for hanging out with us.
Thanks everyone.
Potential listeners that might exist.
Yeah.
Or just like into the abyss.
We're just speaking into nothingness.
But yeah, I don't know how we end these.
We should come up with a way to actually end it.
Okay.
All right.

(01:49:54):
I will think about it in the meantime.
Have a good night, everyone.
Have a good night.
Bye.
Bye.
This week, I read Wreck the Halls, a novel by Tessa Bailey, published by Avon, an imprint
of HarperCollins Publishers.
The audiobook was presented by William Morrow in Harper Audio.
Copyright 2023, Tessa Bailey.