What happens when the external stability you've been chasing for a decade suddenly collapses? In this raw and illuminating conversation with Allison May Byrne, we explore the profound awakening that can emerge from life's most disorienting moments.
Allison shares her journey from domestic violence survivor to law professional to spiritual guide, revealing how her shocking termination the day after taking the bar exam shattered her illusion of external security. "We cannot rely on the external to be our foundation," she realizes. "We're going to be our own foundation." This wisdom couldn't be more timely as we collectively navigate unprecedented uncertainty in our world.
Together, we unpack how humanity seems caught in an adolescent phase, pushing against structures that have organized society but haven't served everyone equally. We explore why women are leading change not through violence and control, but through withdrawal and reclaiming sovereignty – a fundamentally different approach to wielding power that offers hope for peaceful transformation.
The conversation takes fascinating turns as we discuss how our spiritual awakening isn't about bypassing difficulties but developing courage to stay engaged when it matters most. Allison shares insights on reconnecting with intuitive gifts, describing how our psychic abilities form a unique "dialect" of spiritual language personal to each of us.
Whether you're facing your own personal collapse or trying to make sense of our collective challenges, this episode offers the medicine you need. As Allison reminds us, "I don't believe there is a job too small for the soul level revolution." By tapping into our gifts and following our intuition, we automatically become instruments for greater purpose – especially in the messy middle, where the real magic happens.
Your soul didn't come here to play safe. It came to remember its power and build what comes next. Ready to step into that journey?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Next up on Soul Level , human.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
When someone offered me what seemed like the key to
freedom, I was like yes, becauseI didn't trust my own sense of
sovereignty.
I didn't trust that myintuition was going to lead me
to my own idea of what freedomwas for me.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
If we're looking around in survival state and
anxiety, with the fire hose ofinformation coming at us.
We cannot rely on the externalto be our foundation.
We just can't.
We're going to be our ownfoundation.
I don't believe that there is ajob too small for the soul
level revolution.
I feel like if we just tap intowhere our gifts are and where
we're being led, we're going toautomatically be used for a
(00:42):
greater purpose.
You didn't come here to playsafe.
You came to remember your powerand build what comes next.
We're going to automatically beused for a greater purpose.
You didn't come here to bypassthe chaos.
You came here to lead throughit.
(01:04):
Before we get into today'sepisode, I just want to take a
minute and acknowledge where weare.
Yesterday was the no Kingsprotest across the country, with
record-breaking turnout.
People showed up in person, inpublic, en masse, to say people
(01:25):
showed up in person, in public,en masse, to say we don't want
Donald Trump, we don't wantauthoritarianism.
We are America.
We threw tea in a harbor forless and we grew up pledging our
allegiance to a flag everysingle day that promised liberty
and justice for all.
So if you're one of the peoplewho showed up, either physically
or in spirit yesterday.
(01:46):
I want to thank you and I wantto remind you this is why we do
the work.
Spiritual awakening isn't aboutbypassing the world or hiding
from hard things.
It's about being brave enoughto stay engaged, to use your
voice to be fully seen, to stickup for others, even and
(02:07):
especially when it's dangerous,to embody your most courageous
soul level, self anchoring thehighest timeline, even when
everything in the 3D worldaround you feels scary.
Let yesterday energize you,gary.
(02:28):
Let yesterday energize you.
It may be extremely dark rightnow, but, like Vice President
Kamala Harris said, let us fillthe sky with the light of a
billion brilliant stars.
And that actually leads usright into today's conversation.
I'm joined by Allison May Byrne,survivor advocate for victims
of intimate partner andgender-based violence, and
(02:50):
strategist and a witch With abackground in law, civil rights
and esoteric studies.
She blends the practical withthe mystical, teaching others
how to wield perception,presence and influence with
integrity.
Allison brings a uniqueperspective to the messy middle,
helping people navigatecollapse, nervous system
(03:13):
survival and reclaim their ownauthority in a world that craves
authenticity but suppresses it,especially in a time when the
values we were taught to believein are being twisted to mean
the exact opposite.
Let's drop in Welcome.
Thank you so much.
I'm so excited to talk to you.
(03:33):
I'm excited too.
I have been stalking you onTikTok.
God bless TikTok for showing meall the cool people.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Seriously, isn't that true?
I love it.
There's things I love about itand some things I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Yes, Just like every tool, it has its ups and downs.
When I first started stalkingyou not creepy at all, you were
working for a law firm and then,something happened there.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Catch me up Okay.
So I have been working in thelegal field or I was working in
the legal field for like adecade 10 years I worked.
This is very parallel to myspiritual journey.
I got into law after a reallyabusive marriage and my divorce
lawyer ended up being the firstlawyer I worked for I was in the
arts and she was like you'rekind of good at this, do you
(04:20):
want to like explore this as apossibility?
And she was like the firstwoman I'd ever seen who owned
her own business.
I was like, yes, I see what youhave.
I want that for myself.
Eventually, I want that freedom.
She had her office right aroundthe corner from her kid's
school and it was all just avery easy, flexible, all that
yeah.
(04:41):
Love it.
So that started this journey ofgoing away from myself.
So I got really into law andlaw is very structured and very
like.
I mean, it's the law right.
It puts you in a box.
That's what it's there to do,and I am very free spirited, so
it like broke me to do this, butI continued on this journey
anyway, no matter how much myhealth was suffering and I am
(05:02):
very free spirited, so it likebroke me to do this, but I
continued on this journey anyway, no matter how much my health
was suffering, no matter howbroken I was.
For 10 years I was fighting andfighting for this one career
because I thought that once Iachieved what I was hoping to
achieve, which is just stability, then I could be creative again
(05:23):
.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Wow, Okay, so hold on .
You just said so much rightthere.
I just want to bring you backto that one little invitation,
Like do you want this?
And you said yes.
Did you have any inkling inthat moment where there was a
little nagging anything, or wasit a full body?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yes, no, it wasn't.
At the time I was going throughso much that I didn't even know
what was right for me and whatwasn't right for me.
Well, that makes sense.
When someone offered me whatseemed like the key to freedom,
I was like yes, because I didn'ttrust my own sense of
sovereignty.
I didn't trust that myintuition was going to lead me
(05:59):
to my own idea of what freedomwas for me.
So I did this whole thing andI'm very passionate about equity
and equality across where I'vealways been like an ally and an
advocate, and so law felt like anatural avenue to fit that into
my life.
I worked in family law, advocacyfor children, advocacy for
(06:20):
domestic violence, and my lastjob was at the Cochran firm, a
civil rights law firm, and I waslike that's my freaking dream
job.
But I wasn't barred inCalifornia, so I had to go get
barred.
I was working as paralegal.
The attorney I was working forwas like we're going to pay for
you to go take the bar exam.
This is my third time taking itin California.
Third time's a charm.
They paid for me to take thebar exam.
(06:42):
I take two weeks off before theexam because normally you're
studying eight hours a day.
But because I'm working fulltime, I didn't have the time to
you know, like I didn't havethat luxury, so I had to take
off the last two weeks and I didso kind of abruptly.
Originally I was supposed totake a month off, but then it
got down to the wire.
We had three trials going onand I was like I can't actually
(07:04):
take off.
So I took off abruptly.
I was like, hey guys, I have tostudy for the bar exam.
That's two weeks.
I sent an email because theyall knew that the exam was
coming up.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
You just said that they're paying for it.
Right, if you're going to havean investment, don't you think
you would protect it Like hello?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
duh.
So I do the whole thing thosetwo weeks I'm studying and I
take the bar exam Tuesday andWednesday.
I go back to work on Thursday.
They fire me on Thursday.
After 10 years of struggling inthis career, they fired me the
day after the bar exam.
That's a new one.
First of all, I've been pushingso hard in this one direction.
(07:42):
Let this be the last time thatI push this hard in a direction
clearly not meant for me.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
So did you get the results back from the test yet?
Tomorrow, Tomorrow, oh my gosh,I keep running into you like
the day before something bighappens.
That's insane.
That's so interesting to mebecause in the manifestation
circles they're always like ifit's hard it's not for you, and
if there's so much resistanceit's not for you.
But you're having things dropinto your lap.
(08:09):
You have this job with a hugelaw firm.
You have them paying for thebar exam.
On paper, this seems like theperfect fit, but I guess not.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Well, I think it's one of those things where I am
very skilled at being in theright place at the right time.
I don't know when it comes tothat stuff, but I will say a
couple of things aboutmanifesting.
I had a really traumatic lifeand I know that I don't carry
myself that way, but it's been along road.
(08:39):
We all have our own struggles.
If you push yourself, you canmanifest anything right.
You can manifest anythingthat's meant for you.
Whether or not I think it staysis the thing.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
The litmus test.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Throughout this whole time I've been seeking
stability.
All of these things that havebeen dropped into my lap have
been stable, but like illusory,it's not actually stability.
It's like like illusory it'snot actually stability.
It's like I've been placing mytrust in these things that I
believe are more stable than me,but then they bottom out.
(09:13):
When I'm seeking stability, mylesson was not that these things
are more stable than I am.
It's that the stability has tocome from within.
It was like my root chakra morestable than I am.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
It's that the stability has to come from
within.
It was like my root chakra.
Hallelujah for that.
I feel like that's such a hugelesson, especially right now,
right, if we're looking aroundin survival state and anxiety
with the fire hose ofinformation coming at us.
We cannot rely on the externalto be our foundation.
We just can't, and it's amazingthat you got that lesson from
all of that and amazing how longit takes us to get there.
(09:48):
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Oh my God, that was my point.
Some people have the luxury oflearning this stuff really early
because they were planted inthe right environment.
I don't know anybody like that,so it's fine.
I think it's our millennialplight is that we're kind of
like we're going to be our ownfoundation.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah, we're going to be tested until we figure it out
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, I have a lot of friends.
One of my really close friendsjust lost her job.
On Tuesday she was let go andthis has been like two years of
a series of layoffs and this isher lesson.
She's a therapist but she'sbeen working for a company and I
was like dude, this is yourtime to go on your own.
You have your own clientsalready.
You just have to flesh out yourbusiness.
(10:30):
But it's really hard becauseshe's a mom and the earthquake
shattering of your stablefoundation is just so initially
shocking and disorienting that,like a lot of the people that
are here right now don't know,we don't know to we, like they
don't know how to handle don'tknow what right.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
The integration of all the additional energy and
information and fear andoverwhelm.
That's just so much.
It's so much.
So how did you handle thatinitial shock?
What was your process like toget out of the shock and into
the integration and then theaction?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I have have really delayed emotional reactions.
I think it's probably theneurodivergence in me or
something I don't know.
I've been trying to figure thisout, but also trying not to
problem solve.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
For many of us it's like a little bit of trauma, a
little bit of neurodivergence.
It's just like a cocktail yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So at first I laughed .
When they told me they werefiring me, they were letting me
go, I was like okay, if youdon't want me there.
My initial reaction is justlike okay, that's fine, what are
?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
you going to do?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
And so I was like this is crazy.
The exam was literallyyesterday and okay, I'm going to
go home.
And then I took to TikTok andcried and I was like actually, I
just like want all mycheerleaders.
I was in shock and peopleshowed up.
I had just received TikTok reps.
They connected me to thecreator fund.
(11:49):
The CEO of the company called methrough one of the
representatives and she was likeyou got this.
She was like if they can't takea joke, fuck them.
And you know just the saying orwhatever screw them if they
can't take a joke.
And she had to explain it to meahead and I was like what do
you mean?
It wasn't a joke.
She was like it's just a thing.
But I had received all thesupport that it was undeniably
(12:13):
that like, whatever direction mylife was going in was the right
way, regardless of what Ididn't see that call as the
answer to all my problems.
But I was like this is a signthat I'm going in the right
direction If these people, thecommunity on TikTok, really rose
up.
I cried about it a lot, butmostly I've been grieving a lot
(12:34):
because my dog died in last yearand then I lost this job.
It's just a very like my oldlife was crumbled.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
And so I just had to accept and embrace that this is
where it was going.
I feel like I'm like floatingdown a river and I'm just going
over the rapids, like this and Ihave no idea where I'm going.
I'm bumping into shit all thetime, I'm making mistakes, but
the river is taking me somewhere.
I'm just going and you're onthe ride.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I think that's a beautiful place to be.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
It is stressful because we're actively taught to
swim up the current and hold onfor dear life and make other
people drown for our survival.
So I think just that releaseand surrender is the thing that
people just affirmations, it'sjust like you can get up, you
can do it, and like there aresome days where I'm like super
numbing out, you know where.
I'm just like, oh, that makessense.
I'm on the phone and I'm goingfor a walk.
That's the most I can do allday because I'm still in a
grieving spot and I freeze whenI get freaked out.
(13:40):
So do I so, so do I.
So it's a lot of moving so thatI don't stay and freeze.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Well, that's a perfect segue, because I believe
you have a dance background.
Is that true?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I do yeah, are you using it?
I am Well, I trained ballerina.
That was my first love in life,but I knew it was never going
to be a career for me, so I hadto temper my relationship with
it very early.
It's something I do for thelove and only when I'm feeling
(14:11):
full of love.
Last year I was teaching balletand then I lost my dog and I
had to study for the bar exam,so I stopped teaching bar.
I'm on a hiatus right nowbecause it's just, it's a lot,
but the discipline that ittaught me I use every day.
The thing that drew me toballet is the same thing that
drew me to law, which isdiscipline and structure.
(14:33):
I'm a free spirit and you haveto find structure in certain
things.
For sure it helped me.
Those are my foundations.
Because of ballet, I have thediscipline and the persistence
to keep going.
I know my creative processsuper well because of it.
When I'm tired, I just have torest and I'll pick it back up
tomorrow.
I trust myself to stay in thatcycle, that's huge.
But no, I'm not using it everyday.
That's it pretty much.
(14:53):
It's just like the disciplineand I try to be graceful but I'm
a clunky, clumsy biatch.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
So am I.
It's very fun to be in a body.
I love that you brought in theparallel between law and ballet,
because that's exactly what itmade me think of too.
Because you are such a freespirit, it's so interesting that
you have also played with andstrengthened the really
regimented left brain earthlyrule following side of yourself
(15:25):
too.
That's so fascinating to methat you have these two very
specific skill sets andbackgrounds and now you're kind
of in the free fall float of it,maybe inviting you to the
safety of the other way of doingit.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
What do you?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
think.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
It's scary Cause.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I don't trust the soft.
Yeah, I don't trust that it'llbe strong enough to hold me, I
think.
But yeah, I'm learning that Ihad it backwards.
Actually, like, what I'velearned from law and ballet is
(16:07):
discipline and rigidity for sure, but also the contrast of my
free spirited nature is that Iintroduced some flexibility into
those things too.
It helps me stay balanced.
I guess because I'm not staybalanced, I guess because I'm
(16:28):
not.
I think with law specificallybecause things are so rigid they
break easily.
But with softness and carefreeflexibility, there is that
flexibility If I hit it reallyhard with an attitude or
something.
This is what I'm feeling aboutbeing a mom.
I'm not a mom, but I'm.
When I imagine softness, Iimagine my mom, because she was
a very soft leader.
What I needed from her was herability to absorb my fear and my
(16:56):
attitude when the world getsreally hard and I'm breaking
under the so to be that bufferfor you.
Yeah, and I think that is whatI'm settling into now is this
realization that that soft thingis actually more supportive and
structured and, for me, thisrigid way of being I don't know
(17:17):
if that made any sense thatmakes perfect sense, to me Like
that is fascinating Just thefact that we get exactly the
medicine and the lesson thatwe're needing.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I feel like that idea just helps me get through
things.
You know, when it feelschallenging, it's like I know
I'm here to learn something veryspecific and it's going to feel
so much better after this.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Even though it sucks in the middle.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
It really does.
My therapist says you're in themessy middle and I loved the
first time I'd ever heard.
She was the first time I'd everheard.
That was like oh, you're justin the messy middle.
But the thing that I stillstruggle with, no matter what,
is that it's all work.
Hmm, yeah even when you arebeing supported in your life,
(18:11):
you still have the work.
Even if someone's taking careof you in every way, you still
have the work to do to get upand live your own life.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
And that's work.
I think it's work for everybody.
The chop before enlightenmentchop wood.
Carry after enlightenment chopwood carry water Yep.
I wanted an easy life, and noneof it is easy.
I think that's what I waslooking for.
Stability is structure and ease, and what I have been met with
(18:41):
is always more work, and I'mlike, oh, it's just because life
is work.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
That's an interesting reframe, but I think I went off
the tangent here, no, I'm rightthere with you.
Here's where I'm at witheverything you're saying.
There's how we're taught thatthe world is, the world is hard,
the world is scary, the worldis a dangerous place, and we're
also at least in the whole newage emergence of the last decade
everyone's talking about.
(19:06):
You know good vibes only, andyou know, keep your attention on
things that make you feel goodand ignore the rest, right?
So I feel like many of us arecoming to a place where neither
one of those approaches arefully fitting what's needed in
the moment.
Yep, are fully fitting what'sneeded in the moment, and I feel
(19:26):
like, with the experience thatyou've had in law for the last
10 years, you've had a frontseat to all of the changes
happening.
What's your take on everythingright now In the US specifically
.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
What do you think?
Okay, where do I start?
I think that humanity is we'rein our teens we're going to look
at the whole collectivehumanity as one body.
We're like in our teenadolescence we're we're all kind
of being a little narcissisticbecause we can't differentiate
(19:58):
between like ourselves and the.
There's some confusion aboutour identity as it pertains to
the rest of the world and whatwe're entitled to and what we're
like not entitled to.
(20:27):
This period of time where we'repushing back against the
structures that exist becauseit's a natural like, it's
natural to grow and outgrow.
The structures that have, like,kept us, you know, in an
organized society.
For this, for good, for betteror worse, it kept us in an
organized society and thatorganization, we're realizing,
is bad for most of us, and sowe're rebelling against that.
(20:51):
But we don't know how to dothat in a way that makes sense
because we're still teenagers.
There's a creator on TikTokcalled Codependency Kate, and
she's amazing, amazing, um, andshe was talking about how
(21:11):
teenagers need like.
They need guidance when itcomes to like, where to focus
their anger and growth.
We don't have a guide or a clearleader who's leading the way in
a, in a heart-centered likethis.
The human experience is likeshould be and light.
We don't have anybody doingthat.
We just have people who arelike trying to control us, and I
think we're all kind of at ourwits end but we still don't know
(21:35):
where to put it.
So we're kind of like lashingout at content creators.
We're lashing out atcelebrities instead of lash,
instead of like organizing andtaking out that like
dissatisfaction on the thingsthat are actually harming us, we
are taking it out on the spacesthat can absorb it.
And I said I think sometimesmystics are canaries in the coal
(21:57):
mines, because we're very softand we're like the mothers of
humanity in some way, like I'mnot not a mom but like you can
still have mother energy if youare not a mom.
I think mystics, especiallyright now, like women, are
absorbing a lot of that.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
I'm on a call.
Did you need something?
Can you take your call car?
Thanks, mom.
What are we talking about?
Speaker 2 (22:23):
The mystics and moms absorb.
Mom.
What are we talking about?
Mystics and moms absorb.
We take it out on the peoplewho are safest.
I think that's most of the timeand most of the time women,
because women absorb and wedon't lash out in the same way
that men do out of anger.
Not in the same way.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Not in the same way.
That's a big sentence rightthere too.
Yeah, not in the same way.
It's a different flavor, isn'tit?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I think one is more on the offensive and the other
is more on the defense 100%, andI think we're seeing that like
and I sometimes hesitate to talkabout this, so I'll talk about
like on my TikTok, when it'sjust me and my screen here with
you, because I think that menand women both were transcending
the binary and we're figuringthat Absolutely, and so it's
(23:11):
like a men versus women thingright now, and men want to, but
we all both seeing issues withhow the world is like.
We're just seeing themdifferently and different Men
want to stop the population bymurdering a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Control and violence.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Control and violence, and women are like no, actually
we're just going to withdrawour energy and not have babies
anymore.
And that's how we're going totake our control back.
So it's a control struggle andI think it can seem more violent
because men are not gettingwhat they want.
They're saying that we'recommitting violence against them
by not giving them what theywant, but I think it's way more
(23:52):
peaceful the way women areapproaching it.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
That just makes me think of a play I majored in
theater at USC, and so one play,kindred Spirit.
Right, there's this one playcalled Lysistrata, where
basically all the women bandtogether and they're like you
know what we are done with thisviolence?
We are going to basically notput out until y'all figure your
shit out and stop fighting,because we're losing our
(24:14):
husbands, we're losing ourbrothers, we're losing our
family members, and this isridiculous.
And I was in the showerthinking about this idea that
not putting out is withholdingand that is the act of violence,
because our bodies are expected, they feel entitled to that
exchange, not every man.
(24:34):
We're just talking about thepatriarchy and the way that it's
been for a couple of thousandsof years.
Okay, just back off where theyexert power over others instead
of reclaiming their own power.
In this day and age, our job isto reclaim our own power.
Get quiet and reclaim thedivine feminine, the divine
(24:55):
mother, and even in terms ofMother Earth, homegirl needs
some protection.
Homegirl needs some reciprocity, because look how much she's
taken is just unsustainable.
Some reciprocity, because lookhow much he's just unsustainable
.
And the global uprising that'scoming is going to be led by
women, femmes and allies Yep.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
We are doing.
The Dalai Lama said that.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Right it's.
I don't know how much moreobvious it needs to be
personally, but I also sit withthe reverence and sadness and
disappointment and frustration.
It doesn't have to be this hard, like why are we doing this?
Why are so many people beinghurt Meanwhile?
It's just like how about be instillness for a second and work
(25:39):
that?
Speaker 2 (25:39):
out.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
How about do some healing work?
How about go to therapy?
How about read some books?
Apparently, that's a reallytall order when we've all been
taught to hot potato all of ourfeelings and impulses and just
project them everywhere else.
Oh my God, which I feel is sucha micro and macro thing.
That's happening now, right,like everything about our
current administration, is alsonot about accountability, not
(26:01):
about personal responsibility,not about following the law or
the constitution.
It's just, oh, they're theproblem.
Yep, be afraid.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
And what's crazy is like and I think people you know
that they don't want to getquiet and go within.
Because I had this problem.
I don't know if maybe this wasyour experience too, but like
when I first got quiet, if maybethis was your experience too,
but like when I first got quiet,the violence went inward, Like
(26:31):
I went from being really angryand then and, but like being in
a environment where I couldn'thear my own feelings, couldn't
hear my own thoughts, I didn'teven know that I was angry until
I lived alone and then thatviolence got.
I couldn't escape my own headand that's when it got really
bad.
And I think that prevents a lotof people from getting quiet,
(26:51):
because they think it's alwaysgoing to be that way.
They think that their internallanguage is, is static, it's
never changing, it's alwaysgoing to be mean.
But that's where theneuroplasticity comes in.
But that's where theneuroplasticity comes in.
You can change your brain, youcan change your thoughts, but it
takes a lot of work and theydon't even know that it's
possible, Right.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Right.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Done studies on people's internal voices, 85 to
90% of people have heard voicesin their head.
When they hear those voices,it's culturally dependent.
Your environment plays a hugerole on the voices in your head
that you hear, and in the UnitedStates it's overwhelmingly
negative.
In other cultures the voices intheir head are positive,
(27:39):
uplifting and encouraging.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
That really tells you a lot about American culture,
how we communicate through adesire to control another
person's experience, and howthat infiltrates everyone's
psyche like a toxic cancer kindof Do you know if this study was
about the energetic voices wecan hear, or were they focusing
on our inner self-talk, like themore acceptable version of
(28:04):
voices in your head?
Speaker 2 (28:05):
When I saw it on TikTok I was just like I'm
Googling this.
Is this real?
Yes, and it's the psychological, so yes.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Yes to all, without differentiating between the two.
That's so interesting.
What we know about energy isthat it meets us where we're at
right.
So our frequency determineswhat we're attracting, what
we're seeing and all that Right.
So it's interesting because ifwe're already in such a negative
space, then it's not such adeparture to be like well, yeah,
you're attracting some not sogreat energies.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
But I also think, like when I first saw it, I was
like God, I bet you and I'm likewatching this, as a white girl
with a Pocahontas Barbie rightbehind me.
I'm like, oh my God, welcomethe comments.
I bet you and I'm like watchingthis, as a white girl with a
Pocahontas Barbie right behindme.
I'm like, oh my God, welcome,the comments are going to come
from me.
It's okay, but I was thinkingabout how, because we're on
native land and I always wonderabout the mental connection to
(28:57):
the earth and the energy that'sbeen here for so long and I
always wonder if that hassomething to do with it.
It's like you're not supposedto be here.
We're not supposed to be here.
I think that is part of whywe're having not a good time
here.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Ooh, that's so interesting.
That is an interesting take.
I hadn't actually thought aboutthat.
I've heard of and sat with theenergetic side of it, but not so
much in terms of this is whywe're having such a shitty time.
It was more for me about like,oh, we have healing work to do
here, which both are true, right, yeah, but I didn't think of
the manifestation of everythinghappening as a result of the
(29:41):
foundation being diseased.
Yeah, oh, that's yeah, thatmakes sense.
It's funny that you mentionedPocahontas bar, because I still
can hardly see the video feed.
Oh, no, it's fine, but a lot ofmy tune in or whatever comes in
Disney language, because it'ssuch a shorthand for me, and so
(30:02):
I'm always thinking about, likeFrozen 2, you 2, the idea of the
dam must fall.
Everything that we thought weknew it was all lies, the
violence was not provoked, thetreaty is null and void and we
have to right the wrongs of thepast in order to move forward.
The entire premise of the filmand back in 2019, when it came
(30:25):
out, I was like, oh, this is sobig, this is what we're moving
into now.
I had no idea how true thatwould be, yep, but I really do
feel that that's the age of thereckoning.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I guess that we're in now.
I 100% agree with you.
It's like it is an age ofreckoning, because we have to,
we're forced now to look at theway, because what happens when,
eventually, the nasty energiescome for all of us is that the
people who weren't affected atfirst now see the harm that has
been caused for generations onpeople that were not them.
(31:02):
But because people, especiallywhite people, are feeling the
crunch right now, they're beingforced to look at the harm
they've inflicted on otherpeople.
It's not pretty.
They don't like it.
It's ugly and it's causingchaos and mayhem and like but
this, this is a part of thereckoning.
You have to see it.
(31:22):
It's really ugly, fix it now.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah.
So then that brings me back toanother conversation I'm having
with my girlfriends behind thescenes.
It's like the United Color ofBenetton up in here.
That's with everyone, but likewith people in white bodies yeah
, that is quite a task, oh yeah,what?
Oh yeah, tell me what'shappening for you, cause I have
(31:50):
my own flavor of the experience.
But you're going to have atotally different take.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Yeah, so I'm really lucky.
I grew up in a family that wasvery open-minded, open-hearted
and diverse.
I didn't have a lot of thatkind of deconditioning to do
because of the family that Igrew up in and because I was
interested in other culturesthat were very different than
(32:15):
mine from a super young age,like my grandparents.
The reason I have her here isbecause I really connected to
Native American culture when Iwas four years old, and so much
so that my grandparents took meto powwows.
I learned about this culturethat was different than mine,
but I really resonated with itbecause it was the first time I
had seen that discussed abouteverything having a soul.
(32:38):
And that's what resonated withme the most.
I was like that is how I seethe world.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Those people get it, validating your understanding of
it.
How?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I see the world, validating your understanding of
it.
Yeah, yeah, those people got it.
Personally, didn't strugglewith the same things as a lot of
my white friends did, but whenI realized that not all white
people were the same way, thatwas really hard is because I've
(33:07):
that was.
You know, here I am, I'm anally.
I don't understand why you guysthink that you're better than
everybody else when obviouslythat's literally not true.
It's actually you just takeeverything and then say that
you're better.
So, like it didn't make sense,my work has been asking white
people really hard questions andalso removing myself from
situations that aren't going tochange.
I have to remove myself fromthis energy that pisses people
(33:30):
off more than beingconfrontational, because staying
in the system, yeah, becausethey feel entitled to an
argument, because they feel likethey know better.
But as soon as you stop talking, like if I plead my case,
you're not listening, but I'mlike, actually I'm gone because
you're fucked listening, but I'mlike, actually I'm gone because
you're fucked up Then they haveto look in the mirror and they
have to be like, okay, why isthat?
(33:56):
And that has happened to myfamily a lot.
That's caused a lot of rippleeffects.
So, like anytime I go home nowand we talk about politics, it's
a very different conversationbecause I was like I've been
saying the same stuff for yearsand you guys only saw it because
I removed myself from theenergy.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
How are the conversations different, would
you say now?
Speaker 2 (34:15):
They're far more accepting, far more open-minded.
That's a relief.
I was worried they were goingto go the other way, far more
open-minded, I think, because Iwas such a bitch about it for so
long.
And then I was just like, ifyou're not going to accept that
this is actually the truth, yeah.
And then the narratives startedcoming in, like, oh, this is
(34:39):
true.
They started feeling thepinches of reality.
I remember having aconversation one time with a
family member I won't say whichone.
It was like an abortionconversation.
I'm just using this as anexample.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Being fairly neutral, as those conversations go, yeah
, way to pick a safe one.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Let's just go right in.
And he was like that's whythey're wiping out generations
of people.
The cure for cancer could havebeen in the mind of one of those
babies.
And I was like you have no idea, it could have been in the
mother.
Now those conversations are somuch different.
There's curiosity and insteadof being like well, that's wrong
, it's like maybe there'ssomething I don't understand
(35:21):
there.
And then there that opens upthe gray area to then have that
conversation.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, just to have that door open is huge.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, but that's been my experience with white people
specifically.
It's like banging your fuckinghead against a wall.
We're trying to talk to thesepeople sometimes because you
only can see your experience.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah, unless you're curious about anybody else's.
How do you grow?
It's like leave your hometownas soon as you can, because
there's a whole world out there,exactly.
And then you come home andeverything's different.
But nothing's different.
You're different.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, exactly.
People in the United States areso tired and overworked that
they can't even fathom beingcurious about something that
they don't understand, probablyby design.
Exactly and I think it's onlygetting worse right now, which
is why they're squeezing us sohard is they want to create more
divide?
Yeah, yeah, I don't think anyof their foreign policies are
(36:18):
meant to hurt anyone except forus.
What's happening in the US isviolence against its people.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Wow, I hadn't actually thought of it that way,
because it's sold to us as theopposite.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
But I think when you I don't know if you've been in a
relationship with a narcissist,but I was married to one, and
anytime they're saying that,it's always the opposite of what
they're saying.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Like the truth.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Yeah, the truth is the opposite of what they're
saying.
Colonialism is narcissism on agrand scale.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Oh, I hadn't actually extrapolated that.
Okay, hold on, give me a second.
Whoa, all right.
Yeah, yep, that makes sense.
That totally tracks you.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Yeah, I don't want any part of that?
No, me neither.
It's because you're going intosome someone else's culture and
saying your culture's invalid.
Take my culture instead.
Like who the fuck does that?
Speaker 1 (37:19):
assholes, but it's like the way that we all grew up
, like we were just sold thisbeautiful promise of a free
nation and you could do whateveryou like.
It's such a what is it?
Cognitive dissonance, yep.
What we grew up with and thetruth of what was actually
happening just does not match.
It's such a brain break to tryto understand what's real, yep,
(37:44):
and I think we're in the findingout of what's real now, oh,
totally.
But you know what?
Here's what's hopeful.
This just came to me while Iwas washing dishes this morning.
In that cognitive dissonance,we've basically also brainwashed
our generation of kids to thinkthis way.
We are deserving of liberty inthe pursuit of happiness.
(38:04):
We are deserving of equalityand equity among all people.
We all grew up this way, and soto find out, wait a second,
that's not actually how it is.
Okay.
But we're not going to settlethough.
No, because you told me this ishow it is.
Yep, and that's my expectation,moving forward, exactly,
(38:24):
exactly, that's exciting it is.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
I hope that I really hope because what I learned in
law school?
I went to a public interest lawschool, so it was very geared
towards changing the legal fieldas it is and making it more
equitable and also changing thelaws to not be as oppressive as
they are, and that's that'sschool's goal.
That's why I picked it.
I was like I want to change theworld, but one of their biggest
(38:50):
like shoot.
I lost my train of thought.
You said brainwashing, hope,hope and the the pursuit of
everything is one of thosethings where, yes, that's the
idea and we want to keep thatidea, but build new structures
in place.
So you know what Trump is doingnow.
(39:12):
It's a crumbling of the wholething that scares me, because
there are still good structuresin place.
We just have to open them up,right, like there's a lot of
them that are just closed andnot available to people and the
laws are oppressive.
But the idea was good, it'sjust the execution that's been
(39:33):
really bad.
I didn't realize when I went tolaw school just how many of our
laws are like, how theoppression is literally written
into our laws.
I thought it was a social thingfor a very long time I thought
racism was a social thing, untilI went to law school and
learned that it's codified.
Yeah, wow.
And so you have to have howmuch needs to change legally in
(39:57):
order to make that possible?
Is the thing that people havebeen saying isn't possible to
change?
But when I'm watching DonaldTrump literally just crumble
everything in sight, I'm like,ok, it was possible, you just
didn't want to do it or youcouldn't do it.
You cared about the bureaucracymore than the change, right.
And this person doesn't careabout the bureaucracy, only
(40:18):
wants to change.
But it's for bad To benefitthem Instead of benefiting
everybody, right.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
We are at a crossroads and I don't believe
in mistakes or coincidences.
So the fact that you do have aconnection spiritually, soul
level, you have intuitive gifts.
You are pursuing work in thatfield now because, basically,
you've been forced to Hello,thanks universe, and also you
(40:47):
have all this knowledge and thisbackground in law and it's very
relevant and important andcrucial to what's happening now.
That is such a combo.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
I know I actually was last night.
I was in my bed, I was making aTikTok.
It was a shit post.
I'm not going to post it.
But at the end I was like it'snice to get that energy out
though.
Yeah, exactly, Exactly.
But I was like do I have to getinto politics?
Oh shit, Nobody wants to dothat.
If I go, I'm going kicking andscreaming.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
I'm excited to see what happens for you there, Like
, of course you're making me dothis universe Come on.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Yeah, I get it now, but I don't actually think so.
I'm going in it, but I don'tknow.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Well, politics adjacent, I don't know.
There's always something thatbenefits future self, right?
I'm interested to see how it'sall woven together as you move
through it Me too.
Thank you, what a web, what aweb man.
Okay, so before we log off, Iwant to get to the very
(41:46):
beginning for the door openingexperience.
Did you have a big aha like?
Oh my gosh, this is like magicbehind the scenes that I have
access to these soul senses.
Was it a gradual thing, likeawakening story?
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Oh, yeah, it was.
It was a gradual thing.
My mom says she's like, youcame out fully formed, you knew
who you were and you were safein your intuition, like in your
imaginary world they would callit.
But I lost it because I life,yeah, Um, and I locked that part
of me away and especially so,came in fully formed and then
(42:26):
you lost it at 18 or yeah like1819.
I got really, I really likeshut and locked the door.
Yeah, honestly, really.
Yeah it's a really hard andconfusing time and I got lost
and swept into an abusivesituation.
I dissociated for years, prettymuch, and then in law school I
(42:49):
met one of my best friends andshe introduced me to the psychic
who her name is, MysticMichaela, and she talks about
auras and their colors andthat's how she describes energy.
And when I was listening to herpodcast I was like wait, I
didn't know that this wasspecial.
I thought everybody saw this.
(43:09):
I don't see colors, but I havesynthesization other ways, Like
I, you know, I saw that it was alegit thing.
I started to explore it more.
It's been a slow, gradualunraveling of like oh, it's been
a remembering.
I'm like, okay, this happenedand that's why that happened,
(43:29):
and I'm like putting the puzzlepieces back together.
But thank God for women andthank God for nonjudgmental
women, because my circle gotreally small when I was going
through the initial explorationphase.
That is such a common thing.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
What a parallel right .
The awakening side of it andthe healing from narcissism side
of it.
You really are questioningyourself.
You're questioning your ownsanity, You're questioning
reality as a whole.
What do I believe in?
What is true, how?
Do I reconcile what I know tobe true with what I'm not seeing
in my 3D, all of thesequestions, it's like picking at
(44:04):
a scab, almost, I feel.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
It really is, and I think that's why people fall
into spiritual psychosis a lot,because everything you know
changes and your brain's makingnew connections that aren't
always correct or the rightconnections, and that gets
really confusing for people andif you don't have like a guide
and even if it's just a podcastthat you're listening to with a
(44:31):
spiritual girly on, the otherend.
Exactly like that helps, thathelps you, everything helps when
you're on that journey.
Or just like, okay, there's aguiding light there, here's what
this person did and here's howI can apply that to my life.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Exactly All I did was just like oh my gosh, I'm so
grateful for the fact that thisis more mainstream than it used
to be anyway, because it was sohush, hush before.
This was so like embarrassing,cringe, shameful, you know,
scary.
Oh, that's the devil, oh,that's a demon.
And now it's like, oh no, it'sthe most human thing you could
(45:07):
possibly do.
It's a natural extension oflearning about yourself and
learning about your life anddeciding how you want to live.
It's so natural.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
It makes perfect sense.
We all experience spiritualityin different ways.
It's interesting when you getto know yourself how that
blossoms for you.
And I think that that's reallyexciting for each individual
person.
That should be the incentive toinner exploration.
What does that blossom into?
What are your psychic giftswhen you really get to know
yourself?
How are you reading subtle?
Speaker 1 (45:33):
energies.
We're on completely the samepage.
I think it's just such anadventure of discovery.
The 3D version would be likewhat's your favorite color,
what's your favorite food,what's your go-to study habit?
Right Like it's the gateway tofiguring out what your psychic
gifts are, who you are and howyou operate energetically.
That's the process I bring mystudents through.
(45:55):
If you're a visual learner, forexample, then chances are
you're clairvoyant yeah, chancesare you have vivid dreams.
Chances are you enjoy art andyou're creative visually.
So all of those things havesuch powerful correlations and I
think it's so much fun and sofascinating to go exploring.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
When you're in people's psychic worlds, what
are the gifts that you mostoften see?
Is it clairvoyance?
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Clairvoyance, clairsentience is a really big
one and clairaudience, I wouldsay, in that order.
However, I believe that all ofus have our own specific like
blueprint, fingerprint of acombination of it and the way
that I teach it it's so fun, Iget to bring in all my theater
background stuff.
All your clear senses are yourvocabulary words, because
(46:46):
intuition is a language and weall have our own distinct
combination of strengths and howthey show up is our dialect and
so when we speak this languageof intuition, it's in, like it's
a receiving and it's a output.
You know it's speaking, yep.
So we all have our owndifferent way of connecting and
(47:07):
interpreting energy through allthose channels and together it's
like our own version.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Our own dictionary of intuition Is that awesome, I
love it and it's so funny.
As you're saying this, I'm like, of course it's theater girls,
because what is drilled into uswhen you're young, your body is
your instrument.
When that's been drilled intoyour head, your body is your
instrument.
It just takes a little bit oftweaking to be like oh, there's
(47:33):
also subtle information that I'mgetting and I think, because
maybe we've been there andexplored, I wonder about that
connection all the time,especially with, like, actors
and alchemists because it'semotional alchemy at the same
time, you know.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
It is, yeah, it is so , even with what you just said,
when we've been taught that ourbody is an instrument, and what
you were saying earlier with howhaving teachers having guides
on this path is so important,our experience of the lesson and
of what we're learning is socontingent on where that teacher
is, because we could have alsogotten the ballet teacher
(48:11):
version.
That's really punitive andreally judgmental, just the old
school version of it, right?
Oh yeah, and also we're seeingin real time how the
spirituality to alt-rightpipeline is such a big thing,
right.
It's just this beautiful thing,this beautiful opportunity that
then human with their unhealed,scrubby hands come in and just
(48:33):
like fuck it up for the rest ofus.
So I feel like theseconversations are so important
to be having, because it thespirituality to things that
people interact with in the realworld.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
I think that is what is lacking with the spiritual
community like to heart and softstuff is that there's a lack of
structure.
But with you guys and you'reteaching, you know, and you're
taking students, you'reintroducing that structure to
spirituality that didn't existbefore in a new way, and I think
(49:25):
that that's so important incombating, like, because you
have the teacher, because youhave the guide, it's so
important to combat thealt-right pipeline with the
structure of hey, you can builda heart-centered life.
It looks different than thatstuff over there, but that's the
point and there's stillstructure here.
(49:48):
We just have to make it and itlooks a little different, but
what you guys are doing isimportant work, thank you.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
I think we all need to do it in our own way, because
all of us girls are having ourlittle moon circles and hanging
out on Marco Polo and whatever,and we're having these
conversations.
So I just feel like, well, whynot share them, you know,
because we're all having them,that's true.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's so good, especially as yougo into hiding for so long.
I did yeah, yeah, no, me toothat as soon as I came out you
were here.
I have my other friend, lindsay, like you guys, met me with
such open arms and I'm sograteful.
So thank you so much for havingme on and being so welcoming
(50:31):
and lovely, truly, because Ireally admire the coaching work.
I can't do one-on-one work inthe same way.
It's really not healthy for me.
I get lost in the weeds.
So I really admire what youguys are doing and getting in
the weeds with people and takingthat on and getting in the dirt
digging around.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
Yeah, somebody's gotta, and the payoff is huge,
is it?
It is, it's huge, and I justfeel like we all have our own
strengths and weaknesses and Idon't believe that there is a
job too small for the soul levelrevolution.
I feel like if we just tap intowhere our gifts are and where
(51:10):
we're being led, we're going toautomatically be used for a
greater purpose.
I believe that wholeheartedly.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
I agree, I'm trying to witness it, you know.
I think you are witnessing it.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
You're already doing it, thanks, thanks.
Thank you for having me, thankyou for being here.
I so appreciate you taking timeout of your day and please keep
us posted with where you'regoing and what you're doing,
because messy middle is is themagic.
Speaker 2 (51:39):
Yeah, I have a book.
I wrote a book and it's goingto be released tomorrow,
literally on the same day that Ifind out whether or not I pass
the bar exam.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
No mistakes, no coincidences.
Is that not so huge, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
So hopefully it could be a wash One thing's great,
the other thing's shitty.
It could be both great, itcould be both crappy.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
I believe in both good they're going to be exactly
what they are.
Oh my gosh, that's so cool.
Just the synchronicity of thatis already such a message for
you.
Yeah, wild, wow, that's amazing, all right, well, on that note,
yeah, I think we're right,exactly where we're supposed to
be, right when we're supposed tobe there.
And what more do you want,exactly?
Thank you so much.
(52:24):
Virtual hug Allison.
Thank you for listening to SoulLevel Human.
If this episode moved somethingin you, share it, text it to a
friend, post to your stories.
The Soul Level Revolutionspreads one brave human at a
time, and your voice makes adifference.
So until next time, remember toslow down, tune in, trust your
(52:45):
guidance and keep having theaudacity to choose the highest
timeline.
When you show up fully, yougive others permission to do the
same.
Make this the timeline whereyou show up.
Next up on Soul Level , human.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
When someone offered me what seemed like the key to
freedom, I was like yes, becauseI didn't trust my own sense of
sovereignty.
I didn't trust that myintuition was going to lead me
to my own idea of what freedomwas for me.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
If we're looking around in survival state and
anxiety, with the fire hose ofinformation coming at us.
We cannot rely on the externalto be our foundation.
We just can't.
We're going to be our ownfoundation.
I don't believe that there is ajob too small for the soul
level revolution.
I feel like if we just tap intowhere our gifts are and where
we're being led, we're going toautomatically be used for a
(00:42):
greater purpose.
You didn't come here to playsafe.
You came to remember your powerand build what comes next.
We're going to automatically beused for a greater purpose.
You didn't come here to bypassthe chaos.
You came here to lead throughit.
(01:04):
Before we get into today'sepisode, I just want to take a
minute and acknowledge where weare.
Yesterday was the no Kingsprotest across the country, with
record-breaking turnout.
People showed up in person, inpublic, en masse, to say people
(01:25):
showed up in person, in public,en masse, to say we don't want
Donald Trump, we don't wantauthoritarianism.
We are America.
We threw tea in a harbor forless and we grew up pledging our
allegiance to a flag everysingle day that promised liberty
and justice for all.
So if you're one of the peoplewho showed up, either physically
or in spirit yesterday.
(01:46):
I want to thank you and I wantto remind you this is why we do
the work.
Spiritual awakening isn't aboutbypassing the world or hiding
from hard things.
It's about being brave enoughto stay engaged, to use your
voice to be fully seen, to stickup for others, even and
(02:07):
especially when it's dangerous,to embody your most courageous
soul level, self anchoring thehighest timeline, even when
everything in the 3D worldaround you feels scary.
Let yesterday energize you,gary.
(02:28):
Let yesterday energize you.
It may be extremely dark rightnow, but, like Vice President
Kamala Harris said, let us fillthe sky with the light of a
billion brilliant stars.
And that actually leads usright into today's conversation.
I'm joined by Allison May Byrne,survivor advocate for victims
of intimate partner andgender-based violence, and
(02:50):
strategist and a witch With abackground in law, civil rights
and esoteric studies.
She blends the practical withthe mystical, teaching others
how to wield perception,presence and influence with
integrity.
Allison brings a uniqueperspective to the messy middle,
helping people navigatecollapse, nervous system
(03:13):
survival and reclaim their ownauthority in a world that craves
authenticity but suppresses it,especially in a time when the
values we were taught to believein are being twisted to mean
the exact opposite.
Let's drop in Welcome.
Thank you so much.
I'm so excited to talk to you.
(03:33):
I'm excited too.
I have been stalking you onTikTok.
God bless TikTok for showing meall the cool people.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Seriously, isn't that true?
I love it.
There's things I love about itand some things I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Yes, Just like every tool, it has its ups and downs.
When I first started stalkingyou not creepy at all, you were
working for a law firm and then,something happened there.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Catch me up Okay.
So I have been working in thelegal field or I was working in
the legal field for like adecade 10 years I worked.
This is very parallel to myspiritual journey.
I got into law after a reallyabusive marriage and my divorce
lawyer ended up being the firstlawyer I worked for I was in the
arts and she was like you'rekind of good at this, do you
(04:20):
want to like explore this as apossibility?
And she was like the firstwoman I'd ever seen who owned
her own business.
I was like, yes, I see what youhave.
I want that for myself.
Eventually, I want that freedom.
She had her office right aroundthe corner from her kid's
school and it was all just avery easy, flexible, all that
yeah.
(04:41):
Love it.
So that started this journey ofgoing away from myself.
So I got really into law andlaw is very structured and very
like.
I mean, it's the law right.
It puts you in a box.
That's what it's there to do,and I am very free spirited, so
it like broke me to do this, butI continued on this journey
anyway, no matter how much myhealth was suffering and I am
(05:02):
very free spirited, so it likebroke me to do this, but I
continued on this journey anyway, no matter how much my health
was suffering, no matter howbroken I was.
For 10 years I was fighting andfighting for this one career
because I thought that once Iachieved what I was hoping to
achieve, which is just stability, then I could be creative again
(05:23):
.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Wow, Okay, so hold on .
You just said so much rightthere.
I just want to bring you backto that one little invitation,
Like do you want this?
And you said yes.
Did you have any inkling inthat moment where there was a
little nagging anything, or wasit a full body?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yes, no, it wasn't.
At the time I was going throughso much that I didn't even know
what was right for me and whatwasn't right for me.
Well, that makes sense.
When someone offered me whatseemed like the key to freedom,
I was like yes, because I didn'ttrust my own sense of
sovereignty.
I didn't trust that myintuition was going to lead me
(05:59):
to my own idea of what freedomwas for me.
So I did this whole thing andI'm very passionate about equity
and equality across where I'vealways been like an ally and an
advocate, and so law felt like anatural avenue to fit that into
my life.
I worked in family law, advocacyfor children, advocacy for
(06:20):
domestic violence, and my lastjob was at the Cochran firm, a
civil rights law firm, and I waslike that's my freaking dream
job.
But I wasn't barred inCalifornia, so I had to go get
barred.
I was working as paralegal.
The attorney I was working forwas like we're going to pay for
you to go take the bar exam.
This is my third time taking itin California.
Third time's a charm.
They paid for me to take thebar exam.
(06:42):
I take two weeks off before theexam because normally you're
studying eight hours a day.
But because I'm working fulltime, I didn't have the time to
you know, like I didn't havethat luxury, so I had to take
off the last two weeks and I didso kind of abruptly.
Originally I was supposed totake a month off, but then it
got down to the wire.
We had three trials going onand I was like I can't actually
(07:04):
take off.
So I took off abruptly.
I was like, hey guys, I have tostudy for the bar exam.
That's two weeks.
I sent an email because theyall knew that the exam was
coming up.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
You just said that they're paying for it.
Right, if you're going to havean investment, don't you think
you would protect it Like hello?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
duh.
So I do the whole thing thosetwo weeks I'm studying and I
take the bar exam Tuesday andWednesday.
I go back to work on Thursday.
They fire me on Thursday.
After 10 years of struggling inthis career, they fired me the
day after the bar exam.
That's a new one.
First of all, I've been pushingso hard in this one direction.
(07:42):
Let this be the last time thatI push this hard in a direction
clearly not meant for me.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
So did you get the results back from the test yet?
Tomorrow, Tomorrow, oh my gosh,I keep running into you like
the day before something bighappens.
That's insane.
That's so interesting to mebecause in the manifestation
circles they're always like ifit's hard it's not for you, and
if there's so much resistanceit's not for you.
But you're having things dropinto your lap.
(08:09):
You have this job with a hugelaw firm.
You have them paying for thebar exam.
On paper, this seems like theperfect fit, but I guess not.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Well, I think it's one of those things where I am
very skilled at being in theright place at the right time.
I don't know when it comes tothat stuff, but I will say a
couple of things aboutmanifesting.
I had a really traumatic lifeand I know that I don't carry
myself that way, but it's been along road.
(08:39):
We all have our own struggles.
If you push yourself, you canmanifest anything right.
You can manifest anythingthat's meant for you.
Whether or not I think it staysis the thing.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
The litmus test.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Throughout this whole time I've been seeking
stability.
All of these things that havebeen dropped into my lap have
been stable, but like illusory,it's not actually stability.
It's like like illusory it'snot actually stability.
It's like I've been placing mytrust in these things that I
believe are more stable than me,but then they bottom out.
(09:13):
When I'm seeking stability, mylesson was not that these things
are more stable than I am.
It's that the stability has tocome from within.
It was like my root chakra morestable than I am.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
It's that the stability has to come from
within.
It was like my root chakra.
Hallelujah for that.
I feel like that's such a hugelesson, especially right now,
right, if we're looking aroundin survival state and anxiety
with the fire hose ofinformation coming at us.
We cannot rely on the externalto be our foundation.
We just can't, and it's amazingthat you got that lesson from
all of that and amazing how longit takes us to get there.
(09:48):
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Oh my God, that was my point.
Some people have the luxury oflearning this stuff really early
because they were planted inthe right environment.
I don't know anybody like that,so it's fine.
I think it's our millennialplight is that we're kind of
like we're going to be our ownfoundation.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah, we're going to be tested until we figure it out
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, I have a lot of friends.
One of my really close friendsjust lost her job.
On Tuesday she was let go andthis has been like two years of
a series of layoffs and this isher lesson.
She's a therapist but she'sbeen working for a company and I
was like dude, this is yourtime to go on your own.
You have your own clientsalready.
You just have to flesh out yourbusiness.
(10:30):
But it's really hard becauseshe's a mom and the earthquake
shattering of your stablefoundation is just so initially
shocking and disorienting that,like a lot of the people that
are here right now don't know,we don't know to we, like they
don't know how to handle don'tknow what right.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
The integration of all the additional energy and
information and fear andoverwhelm.
That's just so much.
It's so much.
So how did you handle thatinitial shock?
What was your process like toget out of the shock and into
the integration and then theaction?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I have have really delayed emotional reactions.
I think it's probably theneurodivergence in me or
something I don't know.
I've been trying to figure thisout, but also trying not to
problem solve.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
For many of us it's like a little bit of trauma, a
little bit of neurodivergence.
It's just like a cocktail yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So at first I laughed .
When they told me they werefiring me, they were letting me
go, I was like okay, if youdon't want me there.
My initial reaction is justlike okay, that's fine, what are
?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
you going to do?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
And so I was like this is crazy.
The exam was literallyyesterday and okay, I'm going to
go home.
And then I took to TikTok andcried and I was like actually, I
just like want all mycheerleaders.
I was in shock and peopleshowed up.
I had just received TikTok reps.
They connected me to thecreator fund.
(11:49):
The CEO of the company called methrough one of the
representatives and she was likeyou got this.
She was like if they can't takea joke, fuck them.
And you know just the saying orwhatever screw them if they
can't take a joke.
And she had to explain it to meahead and I was like what do
you mean?
It wasn't a joke.
She was like it's just a thing.
But I had received all thesupport that it was undeniably
(12:13):
that like, whatever direction mylife was going in was the right
way, regardless of what Ididn't see that call as the
answer to all my problems.
But I was like this is a signthat I'm going in the right
direction If these people, thecommunity on TikTok, really rose
up.
I cried about it a lot, butmostly I've been grieving a lot
(12:34):
because my dog died in last yearand then I lost this job.
It's just a very like my oldlife was crumbled.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
And so I just had to accept and embrace that this is
where it was going.
I feel like I'm like floatingdown a river and I'm just going
over the rapids, like this and Ihave no idea where I'm going.
I'm bumping into shit all thetime, I'm making mistakes, but
the river is taking me somewhere.
I'm just going and you're onthe ride.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I think that's a beautiful place to be.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
It is stressful because we're actively taught to
swim up the current and hold onfor dear life and make other
people drown for our survival.
So I think just that releaseand surrender is the thing that
people just affirmations, it'sjust like you can get up, you
can do it, and like there aresome days where I'm like super
numbing out, you know where.
I'm just like, oh, that makessense.
I'm on the phone and I'm goingfor a walk.
That's the most I can do allday because I'm still in a
grieving spot and I freeze whenI get freaked out.
(13:40):
So do I so, so do I.
So it's a lot of moving so thatI don't stay and freeze.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Well, that's a perfect segue, because I believe
you have a dance background.
Is that true?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I do yeah, are you using it?
I am Well, I trained ballerina.
That was my first love in life,but I knew it was never going
to be a career for me, so I hadto temper my relationship with
it very early.
It's something I do for thelove and only when I'm feeling
(14:11):
full of love.
Last year I was teaching balletand then I lost my dog and I
had to study for the bar exam,so I stopped teaching bar.
I'm on a hiatus right nowbecause it's just, it's a lot,
but the discipline that ittaught me I use every day.
The thing that drew me toballet is the same thing that
drew me to law, which isdiscipline and structure.
(14:33):
I'm a free spirit and you haveto find structure in certain
things.
For sure it helped me.
Those are my foundations.
Because of ballet, I have thediscipline and the persistence
to keep going.
I know my creative processsuper well because of it.
When I'm tired, I just have torest and I'll pick it back up
tomorrow.
I trust myself to stay in thatcycle, that's huge.
But no, I'm not using it everyday.
That's it pretty much.
(14:53):
It's just like the disciplineand I try to be graceful but I'm
a clunky, clumsy biatch.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
So am I.
It's very fun to be in a body.
I love that you brought in theparallel between law and ballet,
because that's exactly what itmade me think of too.
Because you are such a freespirit, it's so interesting that
you have also played with andstrengthened the really
regimented left brain earthlyrule following side of yourself
(15:25):
too.
That's so fascinating to methat you have these two very
specific skill sets andbackgrounds and now you're kind
of in the free fall float of it,maybe inviting you to the
safety of the other way of doingit.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
What do you?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
think.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
It's scary Cause.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I don't trust the soft.
Yeah, I don't trust that it'llbe strong enough to hold me, I
think.
But yeah, I'm learning that Ihad it backwards.
Actually, like, what I'velearned from law and ballet is
(16:07):
discipline and rigidity for sure, but also the contrast of my
free spirited nature is that Iintroduced some flexibility into
those things too.
It helps me stay balanced.
I guess because I'm not staybalanced, I guess because I'm
(16:28):
not.
I think with law specificallybecause things are so rigid they
break easily.
But with softness and carefreeflexibility, there is that
flexibility If I hit it reallyhard with an attitude or
something.
This is what I'm feeling aboutbeing a mom.
I'm not a mom, but I'm.
When I imagine softness, Iimagine my mom, because she was
a very soft leader.
What I needed from her was herability to absorb my fear and my
(16:56):
attitude when the world getsreally hard and I'm breaking
under the so to be that bufferfor you.
Yeah, and I think that is whatI'm settling into now is this
realization that that soft thingis actually more supportive and
structured and, for me, thisrigid way of being I don't know
(17:17):
if that made any sense thatmakes perfect sense, to me Like
that is fascinating Just thefact that we get exactly the
medicine and the lesson thatwe're needing.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I feel like that idea just helps me get through
things.
You know, when it feelschallenging, it's like I know
I'm here to learn something veryspecific and it's going to feel
so much better after this.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Even though it sucks in the middle.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
It really does.
My therapist says you're in themessy middle and I loved the
first time I'd ever heard.
She was the first time I'd everheard.
That was like oh, you're justin the messy middle.
But the thing that I stillstruggle with, no matter what,
is that it's all work.
Hmm, yeah even when you arebeing supported in your life,
(18:11):
you still have the work.
Even if someone's taking careof you in every way, you still
have the work to do to get upand live your own life.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
And that's work.
I think it's work for everybody.
The chop before enlightenmentchop wood.
Carry after enlightenment chopwood carry water Yep.
I wanted an easy life, and noneof it is easy.
I think that's what I waslooking for.
Stability is structure and ease, and what I have been met with
(18:41):
is always more work, and I'mlike, oh, it's just because life
is work.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
That's an interesting reframe, but I think I went off
the tangent here, no, I'm rightthere with you.
Here's where I'm at witheverything you're saying.
There's how we're taught thatthe world is, the world is hard,
the world is scary, the worldis a dangerous place, and we're
also at least in the whole newage emergence of the last decade
everyone's talking about.
(19:06):
You know good vibes only, andyou know, keep your attention on
things that make you feel goodand ignore the rest, right?
So I feel like many of us arecoming to a place where neither
one of those approaches arefully fitting what's needed in
the moment.
Yep, are fully fitting what'sneeded in the moment, and I feel
(19:26):
like, with the experience thatyou've had in law for the last
10 years, you've had a frontseat to all of the changes
happening.
What's your take on everythingright now In the US specifically
.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
What do you think?
Okay, where do I start?
I think that humanity is we'rein our teens we're going to look
at the whole collectivehumanity as one body.
We're like in our teenadolescence we're we're all kind
of being a little narcissisticbecause we can't differentiate
(19:58):
between like ourselves and the.
There's some confusion aboutour identity as it pertains to
the rest of the world and whatwe're entitled to and what we're
like not entitled to.
(20:27):
This period of time where we'repushing back against the
structures that exist becauseit's a natural like, it's
natural to grow and outgrow.
The structures that have, like,kept us, you know, in an
organized society.
For this, for good, for betteror worse, it kept us in an
organized society and thatorganization, we're realizing,
is bad for most of us, and sowe're rebelling against that.
(20:51):
But we don't know how to dothat in a way that makes sense
because we're still teenagers.
There's a creator on TikTokcalled Codependency Kate, and
she's amazing, amazing, um, andshe was talking about how
(21:11):
teenagers need like.
They need guidance when itcomes to like, where to focus
their anger and growth.
We don't have a guide or a clearleader who's leading the way in
a, in a heart-centered likethis.
The human experience is likeshould be and light.
We don't have anybody doingthat.
We just have people who arelike trying to control us, and I
think we're all kind of at ourwits end but we still don't know
(21:35):
where to put it.
So we're kind of like lashingout at content creators.
We're lashing out atcelebrities instead of lash,
instead of like organizing andtaking out that like
dissatisfaction on the thingsthat are actually harming us, we
are taking it out on the spacesthat can absorb it.
And I said I think sometimesmystics are canaries in the coal
(21:57):
mines, because we're very softand we're like the mothers of
humanity in some way, like I'mnot not a mom but like you can
still have mother energy if youare not a mom.
I think mystics, especiallyright now, like women, are
absorbing a lot of that.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
I'm on a call.
Did you need something?
Can you take your call car?
Thanks, mom.
What are we talking about?
Speaker 2 (22:23):
The mystics and moms absorb.
Mom.
What are we talking about?
Mystics and moms absorb.
We take it out on the peoplewho are safest.
I think that's most of the timeand most of the time women,
because women absorb and wedon't lash out in the same way
that men do out of anger.
Not in the same way.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Not in the same way.
That's a big sentence rightthere too.
Yeah, not in the same way.
It's a different flavor, isn'tit?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I think one is more on the offensive and the other
is more on the defense 100%, andI think we're seeing that like
and I sometimes hesitate to talkabout this, so I'll talk about
like on my TikTok, when it'sjust me and my screen here with
you, because I think that menand women both were transcending
the binary and we're figuringthat Absolutely, and so it's
(23:11):
like a men versus women thingright now, and men want to, but
we all both seeing issues withhow the world is like.
We're just seeing themdifferently and different Men
want to stop the population bymurdering a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Control and violence.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Control and violence, and women are like no, actually
we're just going to withdrawour energy and not have babies
anymore.
And that's how we're going totake our control back.
So it's a control struggle andI think it can seem more violent
because men are not gettingwhat they want.
They're saying that we'recommitting violence against them
by not giving them what theywant, but I think it's way more
(23:52):
peaceful the way women areapproaching it.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
That just makes me think of a play I majored in
theater at USC, and so one play,kindred Spirit.
Right, there's this one playcalled Lysistrata, where
basically all the women bandtogether and they're like you
know what we are done with thisviolence?
We are going to basically notput out until y'all figure your
shit out and stop fighting,because we're losing our
(24:14):
husbands, we're losing ourbrothers, we're losing our
family members, and this isridiculous.
And I was in the showerthinking about this idea that
not putting out is withholdingand that is the act of violence,
because our bodies are expected, they feel entitled to that
exchange, not every man.
(24:34):
We're just talking about thepatriarchy and the way that it's
been for a couple of thousandsof years.
Okay, just back off where theyexert power over others instead
of reclaiming their own power.
In this day and age, our job isto reclaim our own power.
Get quiet and reclaim thedivine feminine, the divine
(24:55):
mother, and even in terms ofMother Earth, homegirl needs
some protection.
Homegirl needs some reciprocity, because look how much she's
taken is just unsustainable.
Some reciprocity, because lookhow much he's just unsustainable
.
And the global uprising that'scoming is going to be led by
women, femmes and allies Yep.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
We are doing.
The Dalai Lama said that.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Right it's.
I don't know how much moreobvious it needs to be
personally, but I also sit withthe reverence and sadness and
disappointment and frustration.
It doesn't have to be this hard, like why are we doing this?
Why are so many people beinghurt Meanwhile?
It's just like how about be instillness for a second and work
(25:39):
that?
Speaker 2 (25:39):
out.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
How about do some healing work?
How about go to therapy?
How about read some books?
Apparently, that's a reallytall order when we've all been
taught to hot potato all of ourfeelings and impulses and just
project them everywhere else.
Oh my God, which I feel is sucha micro and macro thing.
That's happening now, right,like everything about our
current administration, is alsonot about accountability, not
(26:01):
about personal responsibility,not about following the law or
the constitution.
It's just, oh, they're theproblem.
Yep, be afraid.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
And what's crazy is like and I think people you know
that they don't want to getquiet and go within.
Because I had this problem.
I don't know if maybe this wasyour experience too, but like
when I first got quiet, if maybethis was your experience too,
but like when I first got quiet,the violence went inward, Like
(26:31):
I went from being really angryand then and, but like being in
a environment where I couldn'thear my own feelings, couldn't
hear my own thoughts, I didn'teven know that I was angry until
I lived alone and then thatviolence got.
I couldn't escape my own headand that's when it got really
bad.
And I think that prevents a lotof people from getting quiet,
(26:51):
because they think it's alwaysgoing to be that way.
They think that their internallanguage is, is static, it's
never changing, it's alwaysgoing to be mean.
But that's where theneuroplasticity comes in.
But that's where theneuroplasticity comes in.
You can change your brain, youcan change your thoughts, but it
takes a lot of work and theydon't even know that it's
possible, Right.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Right.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Done studies on people's internal voices, 85 to
90% of people have heard voicesin their head.
When they hear those voices,it's culturally dependent.
Your environment plays a hugerole on the voices in your head
that you hear, and in the UnitedStates it's overwhelmingly
negative.
In other cultures the voices intheir head are positive,
(27:39):
uplifting and encouraging.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
That really tells you a lot about American culture,
how we communicate through adesire to control another
person's experience, and howthat infiltrates everyone's
psyche like a toxic cancer kindof Do you know if this study was
about the energetic voices wecan hear, or were they focusing
on our inner self-talk, like themore acceptable version of
(28:04):
voices in your head?
Speaker 2 (28:05):
When I saw it on TikTok I was just like I'm
Googling this.
Is this real?
Yes, and it's the psychological, so yes.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Yes to all, without differentiating between the two.
That's so interesting.
What we know about energy isthat it meets us where we're at
right.
So our frequency determineswhat we're attracting, what
we're seeing and all that Right.
So it's interesting because ifwe're already in such a negative
space, then it's not such adeparture to be like well, yeah,
you're attracting some not sogreat energies.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
But I also think, like when I first saw it, I was
like God, I bet you and I'm likewatching this, as a white girl
with a Pocahontas Barbie rightbehind me.
I'm like, oh my God, welcomethe comments.
I bet you and I'm like watchingthis, as a white girl with a
Pocahontas Barbie right behindme.
I'm like, oh my God, welcome,the comments are going to come
from me.
It's okay, but I was thinkingabout how, because we're on
native land and I always wonderabout the mental connection to
(28:57):
the earth and the energy that'sbeen here for so long and I
always wonder if that hassomething to do with it.
It's like you're not supposedto be here.
We're not supposed to be here.
I think that is part of whywe're having not a good time
here.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Ooh, that's so interesting.
That is an interesting take.
I hadn't actually thought aboutthat.
I've heard of and sat with theenergetic side of it, but not so
much in terms of this is whywe're having such a shitty time.
It was more for me about like,oh, we have healing work to do
here, which both are true, right, yeah, but I didn't think of
the manifestation of everythinghappening as a result of the
(29:41):
foundation being diseased.
Yeah, oh, that's yeah, thatmakes sense.
It's funny that you mentionedPocahontas bar, because I still
can hardly see the video feed.
Oh, no, it's fine, but a lot ofmy tune in or whatever comes in
Disney language, because it'ssuch a shorthand for me, and so
(30:02):
I'm always thinking about, likeFrozen 2, you 2, the idea of the
dam must fall.
Everything that we thought weknew it was all lies, the
violence was not provoked, thetreaty is null and void and we
have to right the wrongs of thepast in order to move forward.
The entire premise of the filmand back in 2019, when it came
(30:25):
out, I was like, oh, this is sobig, this is what we're moving
into now.
I had no idea how true thatwould be, yep, but I really do
feel that that's the age of thereckoning.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I guess that we're in now.
I 100% agree with you.
It's like it is an age ofreckoning, because we have to,
we're forced now to look at theway, because what happens when,
eventually, the nasty energiescome for all of us is that the
people who weren't affected atfirst now see the harm that has
been caused for generations onpeople that were not them.
(31:02):
But because people, especiallywhite people, are feeling the
crunch right now, they're beingforced to look at the harm
they've inflicted on otherpeople.
It's not pretty.
They don't like it.
It's ugly and it's causingchaos and mayhem and like but
this, this is a part of thereckoning.
You have to see it.
(31:22):
It's really ugly, fix it now.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah.
So then that brings me back toanother conversation I'm having
with my girlfriends behind thescenes.
It's like the United Color ofBenetton up in here.
That's with everyone, but likewith people in white bodies yeah
, that is quite a task, oh yeah,what?
Oh yeah, tell me what'shappening for you, cause I have
(31:50):
my own flavor of the experience.
But you're going to have atotally different take.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Yeah, so I'm really lucky.
I grew up in a family that wasvery open-minded, open-hearted
and diverse.
I didn't have a lot of thatkind of deconditioning to do
because of the family that Igrew up in and because I was
interested in other culturesthat were very different than
(32:15):
mine from a super young age,like my grandparents.
The reason I have her here isbecause I really connected to
Native American culture when Iwas four years old, and so much
so that my grandparents took meto powwows.
I learned about this culturethat was different than mine,
but I really resonated with itbecause it was the first time I
had seen that discussed abouteverything having a soul.
(32:38):
And that's what resonated withme the most.
I was like that is how I seethe world.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Those people get it, validating your understanding of
it.
How?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I see the world, validating your understanding of
it.
Yeah, yeah, those people got it.
Personally, didn't strugglewith the same things as a lot of
my white friends did, but whenI realized that not all white
people were the same way, thatwas really hard is because I've
(33:07):
that was.
You know, here I am, I'm anally.
I don't understand why you guysthink that you're better than
everybody else when obviouslythat's literally not true.
It's actually you just takeeverything and then say that
you're better.
So, like it didn't make sense,my work has been asking white
people really hard questions andalso removing myself from
situations that aren't going tochange.
I have to remove myself fromthis energy that pisses people
(33:30):
off more than beingconfrontational, because staying
in the system, yeah, becausethey feel entitled to an
argument, because they feel likethey know better.
But as soon as you stop talking, like if I plead my case,
you're not listening, but I'mlike, actually I'm gone because
you're fucked listening, but I'mlike, actually I'm gone because
you're fucked up Then they haveto look in the mirror and they
have to be like, okay, why isthat?
(33:56):
And that has happened to myfamily a lot.
That's caused a lot of rippleeffects.
So, like anytime I go home nowand we talk about politics, it's
a very different conversationbecause I was like I've been
saying the same stuff for yearsand you guys only saw it because
I removed myself from theenergy.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
How are the conversations different, would
you say now?
Speaker 2 (34:15):
They're far more accepting, far more open-minded.
That's a relief.
I was worried they were goingto go the other way, far more
open-minded, I think, because Iwas such a bitch about it for so
long.
And then I was just like, ifyou're not going to accept that
this is actually the truth, yeah.
And then the narratives startedcoming in, like, oh, this is
(34:39):
true.
They started feeling thepinches of reality.
I remember having aconversation one time with a
family member I won't say whichone.
It was like an abortionconversation.
I'm just using this as anexample.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Being fairly neutral, as those conversations go, yeah
, way to pick a safe one.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Let's just go right in.
And he was like that's whythey're wiping out generations
of people.
The cure for cancer could havebeen in the mind of one of those
babies.
And I was like you have no idea, it could have been in the
mother.
Now those conversations are somuch different.
There's curiosity and insteadof being like well, that's wrong
, it's like maybe there'ssomething I don't understand
(35:21):
there.
And then there that opens upthe gray area to then have that
conversation.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, just to have that door open is huge.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, but that's been my experience with white people
specifically.
It's like banging your fuckinghead against a wall.
We're trying to talk to thesepeople sometimes because you
only can see your experience.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah, unless you're curious about anybody else's.
How do you grow?
It's like leave your hometownas soon as you can, because
there's a whole world out there,exactly.
And then you come home andeverything's different.
But nothing's different.
You're different.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, exactly.
People in the United States areso tired and overworked that
they can't even fathom beingcurious about something that
they don't understand, probablyby design.
Exactly and I think it's onlygetting worse right now, which
is why they're squeezing us sohard is they want to create more
divide?
Yeah, yeah, I don't think anyof their foreign policies are
(36:18):
meant to hurt anyone except forus.
What's happening in the US isviolence against its people.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Wow, I hadn't actually thought of it that way,
because it's sold to us as theopposite.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
But I think when you I don't know if you've been in a
relationship with a narcissist,but I was married to one, and
anytime they're saying that,it's always the opposite of what
they're saying.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Like the truth.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Yeah, the truth is the opposite of what they're
saying.
Colonialism is narcissism on agrand scale.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Oh, I hadn't actually extrapolated that.
Okay, hold on, give me a second.
Whoa, all right.
Yeah, yep, that makes sense.
That totally tracks you.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Yeah, I don't want any part of that?
No, me neither.
It's because you're going intosome someone else's culture and
saying your culture's invalid.
Take my culture instead.
Like who the fuck does that?
Speaker 1 (37:19):
assholes, but it's like the way that we all grew up
, like we were just sold thisbeautiful promise of a free
nation and you could do whateveryou like.
It's such a what is it?
Cognitive dissonance, yep.
What we grew up with and thetruth of what was actually
happening just does not match.
It's such a brain break to tryto understand what's real, yep,
(37:44):
and I think we're in the findingout of what's real now, oh,
totally.
But you know what?
Here's what's hopeful.
This just came to me while Iwas washing dishes this morning.
In that cognitive dissonance,we've basically also brainwashed
our generation of kids to thinkthis way.
We are deserving of liberty inthe pursuit of happiness.
(38:04):
We are deserving of equalityand equity among all people.
We all grew up this way, and soto find out, wait a second,
that's not actually how it is.
Okay.
But we're not going to settlethough.
No, because you told me this ishow it is.
Yep, and that's my expectation,moving forward, exactly,
(38:24):
exactly, that's exciting it is.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
I hope that I really hope because what I learned in
law school?
I went to a public interest lawschool, so it was very geared
towards changing the legal fieldas it is and making it more
equitable and also changing thelaws to not be as oppressive as
they are, and that's that'sschool's goal.
That's why I picked it.
I was like I want to change theworld, but one of their biggest
(38:50):
like shoot.
I lost my train of thought.
You said brainwashing, hope,hope and the the pursuit of
everything is one of thosethings where, yes, that's the
idea and we want to keep thatidea, but build new structures
in place.
So you know what Trump is doingnow.
(39:12):
It's a crumbling of the wholething that scares me, because
there are still good structuresin place.
We just have to open them up,right, like there's a lot of
them that are just closed andnot available to people and the
laws are oppressive.
But the idea was good, it'sjust the execution that's been
(39:33):
really bad.
I didn't realize when I went tolaw school just how many of our
laws are like, how theoppression is literally written
into our laws.
I thought it was a social thingfor a very long time I thought
racism was a social thing, untilI went to law school and
learned that it's codified.
Yeah, wow.
And so you have to have howmuch needs to change legally in
(39:57):
order to make that possible?
Is the thing that people havebeen saying isn't possible to
change?
But when I'm watching DonaldTrump literally just crumble
everything in sight, I'm like,ok, it was possible, you just
didn't want to do it or youcouldn't do it.
You cared about the bureaucracymore than the change, right.
And this person doesn't careabout the bureaucracy, only
(40:18):
wants to change.
But it's for bad To benefitthem Instead of benefiting
everybody, right.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
We are at a crossroads and I don't believe
in mistakes or coincidences.
So the fact that you do have aconnection spiritually, soul
level, you have intuitive gifts.
You are pursuing work in thatfield now because, basically,
you've been forced to Hello,thanks universe, and also you
(40:47):
have all this knowledge and thisbackground in law and it's very
relevant and important andcrucial to what's happening now.
That is such a combo.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
I know I actually was last night.
I was in my bed, I was making aTikTok.
It was a shit post.
I'm not going to post it.
But at the end I was like it'snice to get that energy out
though.
Yeah, exactly, Exactly.
But I was like do I have to getinto politics?
Oh shit, Nobody wants to dothat.
If I go, I'm going kicking andscreaming.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
I'm excited to see what happens for you there, Like
, of course you're making me dothis universe Come on.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Yeah, I get it now, but I don't actually think so.
I'm going in it, but I don'tknow.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Well, politics adjacent, I don't know.
There's always something thatbenefits future self, right?
I'm interested to see how it'sall woven together as you move
through it Me too.
Thank you, what a web, what aweb man.
Okay, so before we log off, Iwant to get to the very
(41:46):
beginning for the door openingexperience.
Did you have a big aha like?
Oh my gosh, this is like magicbehind the scenes that I have
access to these soul senses.
Was it a gradual thing, likeawakening story?
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Oh, yeah, it was.
It was a gradual thing.
My mom says she's like, youcame out fully formed, you knew
who you were and you were safein your intuition, like in your
imaginary world they would callit.
But I lost it because I life,yeah, Um, and I locked that part
of me away and especially so,came in fully formed and then
(42:26):
you lost it at 18 or yeah like1819.
I got really, I really likeshut and locked the door.
Yeah, honestly, really.
Yeah it's a really hard andconfusing time and I got lost
and swept into an abusivesituation.
I dissociated for years, prettymuch, and then in law school I
(42:49):
met one of my best friends andshe introduced me to the psychic
who her name is, MysticMichaela, and she talks about
auras and their colors andthat's how she describes energy.
And when I was listening to herpodcast I was like wait, I
didn't know that this wasspecial.
I thought everybody saw this.
(43:09):
I don't see colors, but I havesynthesization other ways, Like
I, you know, I saw that it was alegit thing.
I started to explore it more.
It's been a slow, gradualunraveling of like oh, it's been
a remembering.
I'm like, okay, this happenedand that's why that happened,
(43:29):
and I'm like putting the puzzlepieces back together.
But thank God for women andthank God for nonjudgmental
women, because my circle gotreally small when I was going
through the initial explorationphase.
That is such a common thing.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
What a parallel right .
The awakening side of it andthe healing from narcissism side
of it.
You really are questioningyourself.
You're questioning your ownsanity, You're questioning
reality as a whole.
What do I believe in?
What is true, how?
Do I reconcile what I know tobe true with what I'm not seeing
in my 3D, all of thesequestions, it's like picking at
(44:04):
a scab, almost, I feel.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
It really is, and I think that's why people fall
into spiritual psychosis a lot,because everything you know
changes and your brain's makingnew connections that aren't
always correct or the rightconnections, and that gets
really confusing for people andif you don't have like a guide
and even if it's just a podcastthat you're listening to with a
(44:31):
spiritual girly on, the otherend.
Exactly like that helps, thathelps you, everything helps when
you're on that journey.
Or just like, okay, there's aguiding light there, here's what
this person did and here's howI can apply that to my life.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Exactly All I did was just like oh my gosh, I'm so
grateful for the fact that thisis more mainstream than it used
to be anyway, because it was sohush, hush before.
This was so like embarrassing,cringe, shameful, you know,
scary.
Oh, that's the devil, oh,that's a demon.
And now it's like, oh no, it'sthe most human thing you could
(45:07):
possibly do.
It's a natural extension oflearning about yourself and
learning about your life anddeciding how you want to live.
It's so natural.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
It makes perfect sense.
We all experience spiritualityin different ways.
It's interesting when you getto know yourself how that
blossoms for you.
And I think that that's reallyexciting for each individual
person.
That should be the incentive toinner exploration.
What does that blossom into?
What are your psychic giftswhen you really get to know
yourself?
How are you reading subtle?
Speaker 1 (45:33):
energies.
We're on completely the samepage.
I think it's just such anadventure of discovery.
The 3D version would be likewhat's your favorite color,
what's your favorite food,what's your go-to study habit?
Right Like it's the gateway tofiguring out what your psychic
gifts are, who you are and howyou operate energetically.
That's the process I bring mystudents through.
(45:55):
If you're a visual learner, forexample, then chances are
you're clairvoyant yeah, chancesare you have vivid dreams.
Chances are you enjoy art andyou're creative visually.
So all of those things havesuch powerful correlations and I
think it's so much fun and sofascinating to go exploring.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
When you're in people's psychic worlds, what
are the gifts that you mostoften see?
Is it clairvoyance?
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Clairvoyance, clairsentience is a really big
one and clairaudience, I wouldsay, in that order.
However, I believe that all ofus have our own specific like
blueprint, fingerprint of acombination of it and the way
that I teach it it's so fun, Iget to bring in all my theater
background stuff.
All your clear senses are yourvocabulary words, because
(46:46):
intuition is a language and weall have our own distinct
combination of strengths and howthey show up is our dialect and
so when we speak this languageof intuition, it's in, like it's
a receiving and it's a output.
You know it's speaking, yep.
So we all have our owndifferent way of connecting and
(47:07):
interpreting energy through allthose channels and together it's
like our own version.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Our own dictionary of intuition Is that awesome, I
love it and it's so funny.
As you're saying this, I'm like, of course it's theater girls,
because what is drilled into uswhen you're young, your body is
your instrument.
When that's been drilled intoyour head, your body is your
instrument.
It just takes a little bit oftweaking to be like oh, there's
(47:33):
also subtle information that I'mgetting and I think, because
maybe we've been there andexplored, I wonder about that
connection all the time,especially with, like, actors
and alchemists because it'semotional alchemy at the same
time, you know.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
It is, yeah, it is so , even with what you just said,
when we've been taught that ourbody is an instrument, and what
you were saying earlier with howhaving teachers having guides
on this path is so important,our experience of the lesson and
of what we're learning is socontingent on where that teacher
is, because we could have alsogotten the ballet teacher
(48:11):
version.
That's really punitive andreally judgmental, just the old
school version of it, right?
Oh yeah, and also we're seeingin real time how the
spirituality to alt-rightpipeline is such a big thing,
right.
It's just this beautiful thing,this beautiful opportunity that
then human with their unhealed,scrubby hands come in and just
(48:33):
like fuck it up for the rest ofus.
So I feel like theseconversations are so important
to be having, because it thespirituality to things that
people interact with in the realworld.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
I think that is what is lacking with the spiritual
community like to heart and softstuff is that there's a lack of
structure.
But with you guys and you'reteaching, you know, and you're
taking students, you'reintroducing that structure to
spirituality that didn't existbefore in a new way, and I think
(49:25):
that that's so important incombating, like, because you
have the teacher, because youhave the guide, it's so
important to combat thealt-right pipeline with the
structure of hey, you can builda heart-centered life.
It looks different than thatstuff over there, but that's the
point and there's stillstructure here.
(49:48):
We just have to make it and itlooks a little different, but
what you guys are doing isimportant work, thank you.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
I think we all need to do it in our own way, because
all of us girls are having ourlittle moon circles and hanging
out on Marco Polo and whatever,and we're having these
conversations.
So I just feel like, well, whynot share them, you know,
because we're all having them,that's true.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's so good, especially as yougo into hiding for so long.
I did yeah, yeah, no, me toothat as soon as I came out you
were here.
I have my other friend, lindsay, like you guys, met me with
such open arms and I'm sograteful.
So thank you so much for havingme on and being so welcoming
(50:31):
and lovely, truly, because Ireally admire the coaching work.
I can't do one-on-one work inthe same way.
It's really not healthy for me.
I get lost in the weeds.
So I really admire what youguys are doing and getting in
the weeds with people and takingthat on and getting in the dirt
digging around.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
Yeah, somebody's gotta, and the payoff is huge,
is it?
It is, it's huge, and I justfeel like we all have our own
strengths and weaknesses and Idon't believe that there is a
job too small for the soul levelrevolution.
I feel like if we just tap intowhere our gifts are and where
(51:10):
we're being led, we're going toautomatically be used for a
greater purpose.
I believe that wholeheartedly.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
I agree, I'm trying to witness it, you know.
I think you are witnessing it.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
You're already doing it, thanks, thanks.
Thank you for having me, thankyou for being here.
I so appreciate you taking timeout of your day and please keep
us posted with where you'regoing and what you're doing,
because messy middle is is themagic.
Speaker 2 (51:39):
Yeah, I have a book.
I wrote a book and it's goingto be released tomorrow,
literally on the same day that Ifind out whether or not I pass
the bar exam.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
No mistakes, no coincidences.
Is that not so huge, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
So hopefully it could be a wash One thing's great,
the other thing's shitty.
It could be both great, itcould be both crappy.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
I believe in both good they're going to be exactly
what they are.
Oh my gosh, that's so cool.
Just the synchronicity of thatis already such a message for
you.
Yeah, wild, wow, that's amazing, all right, well, on that note,
yeah, I think we're right,exactly where we're supposed to
be, right when we're supposed tobe there.
And what more do you want,exactly?
Thank you so much.
(52:24):
Virtual hug Allison.
Thank you for listening to SoulLevel Human.
If this episode moved somethingin you, share it, text it to a
friend, post to your stories.
The Soul Level Revolutionspreads one brave human at a
time, and your voice makes adifference.
So until next time, remember toslow down, tune in, trust your
(52:45):
guidance and keep having theaudacity to choose the highest
timeline.
When you show up fully, yougive others permission to do the
same.
Make this the timeline whereyou show up.
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