OUCH! How to Go from (Brain) Freeze to Flow

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Have you ever experienced a sudden freeze while speaking—where your mind goes completely blank, your mouth won’t move, and panic sets in? That kind of speaking brain freeze mirrors the dreaded popsicle brain freeze from our childhood. In this mini-sode, Lauri dives deep into the subconscious fears that lead us to stop breathing in the first place. She also shares a simple yet powerful way to break free.

TAKEAWAYS

1. Breath leads to inspiration: When we freeze, it's often because we've stopped breathing. Opening your mouth and inhaling air is the quickest way to find your flow again. 

2. Trusting the pause can transform your presence: Silence always feels longer for the speaker. The pause that feels endless to you is actually a gift to your audience, allowing them to absorb your message.

3. You are enough: Discomfort in silence often comes from a deeper belief that we need to prove our worth. Your presence alone has value—anything you say simply compliments that inherent worth. 

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Episode Transcript

Lauri (00:00):
I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, I grew up
in Southern California.
I loved to eat popsicles andice cream and I loved to eat
them really fast on a hot dayright up until I got brain
freeze.
So today I'm going to talkabout speaking brain freeze
because it's a really similarfeeling to that popsicle brain

(00:23):
freeze a really similar feelingto that popsicle brain freeze.
Both create that cold freeze, Ican't do anything or move kind
of feeling.
When eating a popsicle, we eatit so fast that all of a sudden
our head hurts and it's cold andwe can't make it go away.
When we're speaking and we getbrain freeze, all of a sudden
our mind goes completely blank,cold.

(00:44):
We get all tight, we stopbreathing and we frantically try
to think our way out of it.
I used to get the question howdo I cure brain freeze?
At least once a month Sometimes, because things tend to come in
waves, it would be more likeonce a week, and the answer,
when that kind of speaking brainfreeze is happening in the

(01:06):
moment that it's happening, isactually incredibly simple it's
to open your mouth and inhaleair.
When we get popsicle brainfreeze, what do we do?
A lot of times we go like this.
Yet most of the time when thatspeaking brain freeze hits us,
it's partially because we're notbreathing.

(01:28):
We've stopped.
Our body might be in fight,flight or freeze, and it's
really hard to think.
When we're not breathing we'resubconsciously feeling or
sensing treating the audience asif it's a big, hungry bear
that's about to eat us.
So we go deer in the headlights, we stop breathing, we stop

(01:49):
moving, we stop inspiring air,and when we're not inspiring air
it's almost impossible toinspire creative thoughts.
When we inhale, when we inspireair, we are way more likely to
get inspired about what we wantto say next.
It seems simple enough, right?

(02:10):
So why don't we do it?
You know I love to get to theroot, to transform things at the
root.
It's so much more effectivethan chasing symptoms.
To transform at the root, wehave to explore why we're not
breathing in the first place and, as I've explored that with
thousands of clients over theyears and myself, things like

(02:33):
this are what come up.
I have to go fast to earn theirattention.
Kind of like a dancing monkey.
I feel like I'm an imposter andI'm afraid people will find
that out.
If I slow down, I'm afraidpeople will cut me off if I'm
ever silent.
If I'm not working constantlyand hard, then there's nothing

(02:56):
of value happening.
I'm uncomfortable in thesilence.
Trust me when I say thatbreathing and getting comfy in
the silence is the way out ofall of those.
The person speaking alwaysthinks the silences, even the

(03:18):
brain freeze ones, are longerthan they are To change things
at the root.
Yes, we can excavate our valuesand, you know, come up with our
why and all of those things,and we also need to dedicate
some time and space to doing itdifferently and sometimes to

(03:40):
healing it in the process.
Discomfort in the silence maymean that, deep down, we don't
believe that we're worthy.
We think we need to be sayingor doing something, proving
ourselves, in order to bevaluable.
You are a unique and beautifulsoul.
Your presence, your one ineight billion on this earth

(04:04):
presence, is valuable all on itsown and it's also desperately
needed.
Anything you do is icing on thecake of you, of who you are.

(04:24):
In my experience with the pause,when I ask people to stop
talking and breathe, the firststep is the moments of silence
feel at least 10 times longerfor the speaker than they do for
anyone in the audience.
Here's the thing.
It's because we out in theaudience are digesting what
you're saying in that silencelike a fine meal.
In music.

(04:45):
The space is as important asthe notes In visual art.
It's the white space thatreveals the image.
In speaking, the words and thesilences dance together to
create the meaning.
The audience doesn't noticethose silences like the speaker

(05:08):
does, because the audience needsthose silences just as much as
the speaker, for a differentreason.
You are not being selfish orboring when you breathe.
The audience needs thosesilences just as much as you.
This touches on coming backaround to treating speaking as a

(05:30):
conversation.
Their half is silent.
If you don't take those momentsof silence, you're being
selfish.
It's rude.
Finding a safe space will giveyou the most help in actually
clearing out and changing thisroot thing, with somebody you

(05:51):
trust or people you trust bestof all, someone who you trust,
who can pause you, ask you tobreathe and help you change your
habit into the new, moretrusting, present, grounded
habit.
So the next time you'respeaking, if you start to even
wonder what you're going to saynext, open your mouth and inhale

(06:15):
, inspire that air and that willhelp you to inspire thoughts.
Thanks so much for listening.
I'll be back soon.