August 4, 2025 • 16 mins
If your brain has ever turned a tiny thought into a full-blown mental film — congrats, you’re in the club! In this episode, I unpack what overthinking really looks like, why it’s often misunderstood, and how I’ve learned to spot the spiral before it takes over. You’re not broken — just thoughtful and tryikng too hard to be perfect. Let’s talk about it.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the overthinkers club. Population you and I us.
If you've replayed a conversation six times today, imagine the
worst case scenario twice. It are still unsure if you
texted back that person just right and you are in
the right spot. Welcome back to the Still Standing Strong podcast.
(00:32):
Glad to have you here today. We're talking about something
that everyone faces at one time or another in their lives, overthinking.
What a pleasure it is to discuss this. This is
my best friend. Every day I face this, and I'll
get into details, but let's first define what exactly overthinking is.
(00:54):
Overthinking is when something happens, whether it be an action,
a conversation, and it might be something that you are
not fond of or embarrassed of, or wish that you
could redo, do over, and instead of moving on or
accepting or trying to find a way to fix it,
(01:20):
we dwell and dwell and dwell on this situation over
and over again in our heads. There's nothing we can
do about it, but that's what we do. So for example,
it's just data, imagination, thoughts that are just looping being
(01:44):
over analyzed. Catastrophizing probably the biggest word I have ever said,
and to be honest with you, much like that last word,
it is exhausting, exhausting. Where do you see this showing up?
(02:09):
Maybe you have a conversation coming up with someone significant other, friend, colleague, person,
you see at the gas station, and you're just trying
to plant it out so that it goes just right.
But what if they say this, well, then I'll say this.
What if they don't say anything at all, well, then
this is what I'll do. Or maybe you're just obsessed
(02:37):
with how you sounded. Maybe you made a little whistle
sound or a toot sound when you're talking to someone,
or I don't know something that you were not fond of.
Here's a couple of examples of how I've experienced this,
and I have probably three hundred and sixty five days
worth of content times my age, but let's give a couple. So,
(03:03):
when I was younger, I used to play soccer. Soccer
was my football for European folks, and it was my
favorite sport. Loved it. Well, there was a play I
was a forward striker. There was a play where I
had a breakaway and I was running at full speed
(03:24):
and the goalie was coming out and I went to
go jump over the goalie and he accidentally rolled onto
my foot. My niece smacked backwards and that was the
end of my knee, tore my acl What do you
think that I've done? For the last double my life
of years thought about it. I'm obsessed over it. Why
(03:47):
did I do that? Why didn't I just stop running?
Why didn't I go around him? I wasn't going to
catch up to that soccer ball. Why didn't I just
let it go? Or another one? When I was younger, obviously,
I went through a breakup and it was someone I
(04:08):
had been with for a while and it ended, and
I think it was my first major breakup, and my
brain would literally not let me move on. I thought
about it so much, all the things that I didn't do,
things that I could have done differently, even the thoughts
(04:28):
that I was having about what I could have done
differently I was thinking about it was it was such
an inception worth of thoughts spinning around like a carousel
in my brain day in and day out. Couldn't sleep.
I did it until it was literally physical pain. So
(04:49):
I've been there. I've been there. In fact, I have
a recent example. In the previous episode, I realized I
said the word epitome instead of epiphany. Well, I have
been thinking about that since that last recording, So I'm
sorry for all the lives that I've ruined by saying
the wrong word, But I still do it.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Why do we do it?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Does it come from childhood? Is it just natural trauma?
Maybe I'm not sure it. Maybe it comes from trying
to be a perfectionist make the right impression one hundred
percent of the time something that is darn near impossible.
(05:38):
Other times, it could just be because we're wired for
vigilance mode, trying to be protective, a defense mechanism, trying
to make sure that whatever we're about to experience goes
the right way. We make the right impression makes sense
for a first date interview, makes sense. But if you're
(06:01):
anything like me and you've spent hours upon hours preparing
for an interview just for different questions to be asked,
or studying for a test trying to imagine all kinds
of different scenarios just for the wrong questions to be
on the test, you've probably had whatever the opposite of
overthinking is after the fact, like, wow, well I guess
(06:24):
it would be the same thing you were overthinking the overthinking.
Look at all that time I could have had back,
that's overthinking. One thing that I do want to point
out about it, though, is, if you're like me, you've
probably wondered is this something that everyone experiences? Is this
something that makes me broken? Or am I broken? No? Again,
(06:53):
it just depends on the scenario. It depends on the why.
We all do this to some degree, some like me
too much more extreme measures than others. But we all
do different versions of this overthinking thing. But it doesn't
make you broken. This makes you human. What about what
(07:16):
helps well? I guess the easiest antidote is just don't
do it. But if that worked, well, we wouldn't be
talking about this today. One piece that does help me
out tremendously writing it out, drawing out some sort of
spider Man looking web and just writing out the thoughts,
(07:41):
some sort of if this then that type of web,
then diagram sort of mathematical thing. It helps, and need
to color it in it turns into a really pretty picture.
But journal it out, write down concerns, what scares you,
(08:03):
what you're concerned about. I guess that would fall under
your concerns, but the results could be the worst case
scenario the best case scenario, because no matter what happens,
one of those things will happen, or maybe it won't.
But we don't have all the control over what we're
(08:24):
going to say, what they're going to say, what the
event is going to unfold like. But it's really really
helpful to play it all out just so you can
visualize and conceptualize what's in front of you. Another great
way that I do to fight this irritating thing is
(08:49):
I move my body. I go for a run, I
hit the gym, do some pushups, dance, shimmy. I do
something because it gets my mind off of it. It
gets the blood rolling, releases some of those neurochemicals up
in your brain, make you feel better, calms you down.
(09:11):
That's what we need. Don't forget to do that. Get
some sunshine, but move your body, go on a walk,
jump on one of those electric scooters and zip everywhere.
Put on some wings and go fly. I don't know,
do something to go move your body. That's going to
help you out a lot. You can also really try
(09:32):
to be aware that this happens, step back into a
third person perspective and name it, call it out for
what it is. But again, if you're like me, you
know when this is happening. You might be five hours
deep in some overthinking things, but you still know what's
going on.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
And you know what.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
One thing that I've learned as I've gotten older is
just like emotions, most of the time, you can just
flip them off, flip them off. You can flip them
off both with the finger and with the the light
switch method, but you can flip it off and just
move on with overthinking. It can be more difficult than that,
but once you gain control, once you've worked at it,
(10:11):
once you can identify it, turn it off, recognize.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
It, move on.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
One final note, make it humorous. Talk to yourself, tell
yourself a joke, make fun of your brain. This may
seem silly, but again distracting yourself, getting your mind.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Off of it.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
It takes twenty one days to form a habit. If
you do this as much as you possibly can without
looking silly or look silly, that's fine too. Eventually you
will start to subside these thoughts, these feelings, these loopy,
doopy emotions. That's what we wanted. Do we want to
(10:53):
have these thoughts diminish as much as we can you
can have the thoughts, but you don't want to dwell
on them. You just saw overthinking in real time just now.
Overthinking is not a flaw like I mentioned, It's not
indicative of you being broken. It's not a flaw. It's
(11:15):
just a defense mechanism to ensure that to whatever extent possible,
the scenario plays out to your intended solution, to your
intended degree. Why do some people do it more than others?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Well, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Sure that's a great question for you all. Why do
you think that some folks me overthink far more than others.
What are some mechanisms for us to overcome this overthinking?
Or how can we learn to accept it and live
within and not dwell as much? How can we lessen it?
(11:57):
I think that's the more reasonable approach. And if you've
ended up here, number one, you must adore this podcast.
Or two, you're an overthinker just like me. And both
things don't have to be true, but how they are.
And if you're an overthinker like me, this is where
(12:17):
we began our descendants into not carrying so much weight constantly.
Just imagine a giant twine of yarn. I think that's
what they call it twine ball of yarn. I don't know,
but imagine this giant twine ball of yarn, and every
(12:41):
single time that you overthink, add another layer and just
keep going and going and going. And that's what you
end up doing, because how much you are you actually solving,
you're already adding on another belt loop of life. Every event,
every scenario that you experience. Do you really need to
do it fifteen times over simply just trying to dwell
(13:07):
on what you should have done differently, could have done differently. No.
I will also say, as we end this episode, overthinking
can be helpful. There have been many times as I
laid my head down to sleep at night and I
quickly play back a joke that I told that day
(13:27):
that nobody laughed at, or me tripping up the stairs.
There have been some pretty positive happenings as a result.
I've thought of a different joke, a different ending, a
different punchline. I've thought of a way when I tripped
to do a bunch of pushups and make it look intentional.
Now that didn't happen. I definitely trip, though, But the
(13:51):
point is there are many, many, many, many different ways
that we can do things. But We're not perfect, we
never will be, but don't try to be. Overthinking is
just another way that we're trying to be more than human,
and we shouldn't try to do that. So let's end
(14:12):
with this. What is one thought loop that you'd like
to gently step out of this week? What's maybe something
that you think of consistently or always comes back that
isn't healthy that you'd like to just drop and let happen.
(14:34):
Send me an email, give me some topics, Let's have
a discussion. Leave a comment on the one post I
have on our Instagram page. I have to do better
at that. At this point, I actually wanted to have
a dad joke ready, but I don't have one, So
I'll try to have one for next time. I'll overthink
(14:57):
this for the next twenty four hours and then we'll no,
I'm not going to do that, but I'll try to
have one. Love me a good joke. I will tell
you what, no matter what topic we discuss, what you're
going through right now, what you will endure this week,
this month, this year, Give it a smile, Give it
a smile. It's going to make everything feel better, at
(15:18):
least temporarily. And that sometimes is all that you need
to head into the right direction. But remember when you're overthinking,
when you find yourself mentally driving around that NASCAR track
over and over and over again, you're not alone. You
belong to a club now, the Overthinkers Club, and this
(15:39):
one's exclusive. So with that, thank you all for joining today.
I appreciate you. We'll be right back at it with
another episode soon enough. If you have any recommendations, anything
that you'd like me to cover, I will absolutely consider
it and do so. And as always, we are all
still standing being strong.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Take care, MHM.
Welcome to the overthinkers club. Population you and I us.
If you've replayed a conversation six times today, imagine the
worst case scenario twice. It are still unsure if you
texted back that person just right and you are in
the right spot. Welcome back to the Still Standing Strong podcast.
(00:32):
Glad to have you here today. We're talking about something
that everyone faces at one time or another in their lives, overthinking.
What a pleasure it is to discuss this. This is
my best friend. Every day I face this, and I'll
get into details, but let's first define what exactly overthinking is.
(00:54):
Overthinking is when something happens, whether it be an action,
a conversation, and it might be something that you are
not fond of or embarrassed of, or wish that you
could redo, do over, and instead of moving on or
accepting or trying to find a way to fix it,
(01:20):
we dwell and dwell and dwell on this situation over
and over again in our heads. There's nothing we can
do about it, but that's what we do. So for example,
it's just data, imagination, thoughts that are just looping being
(01:44):
over analyzed. Catastrophizing probably the biggest word I have ever said,
and to be honest with you, much like that last word,
it is exhausting, exhausting. Where do you see this showing up?
(02:09):
Maybe you have a conversation coming up with someone significant other, friend, colleague, person,
you see at the gas station, and you're just trying
to plant it out so that it goes just right.
But what if they say this, well, then I'll say this.
What if they don't say anything at all, well, then
this is what I'll do. Or maybe you're just obsessed
(02:37):
with how you sounded. Maybe you made a little whistle
sound or a toot sound when you're talking to someone,
or I don't know something that you were not fond of.
Here's a couple of examples of how I've experienced this,
and I have probably three hundred and sixty five days
worth of content times my age, but let's give a couple. So,
(03:03):
when I was younger, I used to play soccer. Soccer
was my football for European folks, and it was my
favorite sport. Loved it. Well, there was a play I
was a forward striker. There was a play where I
had a breakaway and I was running at full speed
(03:24):
and the goalie was coming out and I went to
go jump over the goalie and he accidentally rolled onto
my foot. My niece smacked backwards and that was the
end of my knee, tore my acl What do you
think that I've done? For the last double my life
of years thought about it. I'm obsessed over it. Why
(03:47):
did I do that? Why didn't I just stop running?
Why didn't I go around him? I wasn't going to
catch up to that soccer ball. Why didn't I just
let it go? Or another one? When I was younger, obviously,
I went through a breakup and it was someone I
(04:08):
had been with for a while and it ended, and
I think it was my first major breakup, and my
brain would literally not let me move on. I thought
about it so much, all the things that I didn't do,
things that I could have done differently, even the thoughts
(04:28):
that I was having about what I could have done
differently I was thinking about it was it was such
an inception worth of thoughts spinning around like a carousel
in my brain day in and day out. Couldn't sleep.
I did it until it was literally physical pain. So
(04:49):
I've been there. I've been there. In fact, I have
a recent example. In the previous episode, I realized I
said the word epitome instead of epiphany. Well, I have
been thinking about that since that last recording, So I'm
sorry for all the lives that I've ruined by saying
the wrong word, But I still do it.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Why do we do it?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Does it come from childhood? Is it just natural trauma?
Maybe I'm not sure it. Maybe it comes from trying
to be a perfectionist make the right impression one hundred
percent of the time something that is darn near impossible.
(05:38):
Other times, it could just be because we're wired for
vigilance mode, trying to be protective, a defense mechanism, trying
to make sure that whatever we're about to experience goes
the right way. We make the right impression makes sense
for a first date interview, makes sense. But if you're
(06:01):
anything like me and you've spent hours upon hours preparing
for an interview just for different questions to be asked,
or studying for a test trying to imagine all kinds
of different scenarios just for the wrong questions to be
on the test, you've probably had whatever the opposite of
overthinking is after the fact, like, wow, well I guess
(06:24):
it would be the same thing you were overthinking the overthinking.
Look at all that time I could have had back,
that's overthinking. One thing that I do want to point
out about it, though, is, if you're like me, you've
probably wondered is this something that everyone experiences? Is this
something that makes me broken? Or am I broken? No? Again,
(06:53):
it just depends on the scenario. It depends on the why.
We all do this to some degree, some like me
too much more extreme measures than others. But we all
do different versions of this overthinking thing. But it doesn't
make you broken. This makes you human. What about what
(07:16):
helps well? I guess the easiest antidote is just don't
do it. But if that worked, well, we wouldn't be
talking about this today. One piece that does help me
out tremendously writing it out, drawing out some sort of
spider Man looking web and just writing out the thoughts,
(07:41):
some sort of if this then that type of web,
then diagram sort of mathematical thing. It helps, and need
to color it in it turns into a really pretty picture.
But journal it out, write down concerns, what scares you,
(08:03):
what you're concerned about. I guess that would fall under
your concerns, but the results could be the worst case
scenario the best case scenario, because no matter what happens,
one of those things will happen, or maybe it won't.
But we don't have all the control over what we're
(08:24):
going to say, what they're going to say, what the
event is going to unfold like. But it's really really
helpful to play it all out just so you can
visualize and conceptualize what's in front of you. Another great
way that I do to fight this irritating thing is
(08:49):
I move my body. I go for a run, I
hit the gym, do some pushups, dance, shimmy. I do
something because it gets my mind off of it. It
gets the blood rolling, releases some of those neurochemicals up
in your brain, make you feel better, calms you down.
(09:11):
That's what we need. Don't forget to do that. Get
some sunshine, but move your body, go on a walk,
jump on one of those electric scooters and zip everywhere.
Put on some wings and go fly. I don't know,
do something to go move your body. That's going to
help you out a lot. You can also really try
(09:32):
to be aware that this happens, step back into a
third person perspective and name it, call it out for
what it is. But again, if you're like me, you
know when this is happening. You might be five hours
deep in some overthinking things, but you still know what's
going on.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
And you know what.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
One thing that I've learned as I've gotten older is
just like emotions, most of the time, you can just
flip them off, flip them off. You can flip them
off both with the finger and with the the light
switch method, but you can flip it off and just
move on with overthinking. It can be more difficult than that,
but once you gain control, once you've worked at it,
(10:11):
once you can identify it, turn it off, recognize.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
It, move on.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
One final note, make it humorous. Talk to yourself, tell
yourself a joke, make fun of your brain. This may
seem silly, but again distracting yourself, getting your mind.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Off of it.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
It takes twenty one days to form a habit. If
you do this as much as you possibly can without
looking silly or look silly, that's fine too. Eventually you
will start to subside these thoughts, these feelings, these loopy,
doopy emotions. That's what we wanted. Do we want to
(10:53):
have these thoughts diminish as much as we can you
can have the thoughts, but you don't want to dwell
on them. You just saw overthinking in real time just now.
Overthinking is not a flaw like I mentioned, It's not
indicative of you being broken. It's not a flaw. It's
(11:15):
just a defense mechanism to ensure that to whatever extent possible,
the scenario plays out to your intended solution, to your
intended degree. Why do some people do it more than others?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Well, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Sure that's a great question for you all. Why do
you think that some folks me overthink far more than others.
What are some mechanisms for us to overcome this overthinking?
Or how can we learn to accept it and live
within and not dwell as much? How can we lessen it?
(11:57):
I think that's the more reasonable approach. And if you've
ended up here, number one, you must adore this podcast.
Or two, you're an overthinker just like me. And both
things don't have to be true, but how they are.
And if you're an overthinker like me, this is where
(12:17):
we began our descendants into not carrying so much weight constantly.
Just imagine a giant twine of yarn. I think that's
what they call it twine ball of yarn. I don't know,
but imagine this giant twine ball of yarn, and every
(12:41):
single time that you overthink, add another layer and just
keep going and going and going. And that's what you
end up doing, because how much you are you actually solving,
you're already adding on another belt loop of life. Every event,
every scenario that you experience. Do you really need to
do it fifteen times over simply just trying to dwell
(13:07):
on what you should have done differently, could have done differently. No.
I will also say, as we end this episode, overthinking
can be helpful. There have been many times as I
laid my head down to sleep at night and I
quickly play back a joke that I told that day
(13:27):
that nobody laughed at, or me tripping up the stairs.
There have been some pretty positive happenings as a result.
I've thought of a different joke, a different ending, a
different punchline. I've thought of a way when I tripped
to do a bunch of pushups and make it look intentional.
Now that didn't happen. I definitely trip, though, But the
(13:51):
point is there are many, many, many, many different ways
that we can do things. But We're not perfect, we
never will be, but don't try to be. Overthinking is
just another way that we're trying to be more than human,
and we shouldn't try to do that. So let's end
(14:12):
with this. What is one thought loop that you'd like
to gently step out of this week? What's maybe something
that you think of consistently or always comes back that
isn't healthy that you'd like to just drop and let happen.
(14:34):
Send me an email, give me some topics, Let's have
a discussion. Leave a comment on the one post I
have on our Instagram page. I have to do better
at that. At this point, I actually wanted to have
a dad joke ready, but I don't have one, So
I'll try to have one for next time. I'll overthink
(14:57):
this for the next twenty four hours and then we'll no,
I'm not going to do that, but I'll try to
have one. Love me a good joke. I will tell
you what, no matter what topic we discuss, what you're
going through right now, what you will endure this week,
this month, this year, Give it a smile, Give it
a smile. It's going to make everything feel better, at
(15:18):
least temporarily. And that sometimes is all that you need
to head into the right direction. But remember when you're overthinking,
when you find yourself mentally driving around that NASCAR track
over and over and over again, you're not alone. You
belong to a club now, the Overthinkers Club, and this
(15:39):
one's exclusive. So with that, thank you all for joining today.
I appreciate you. We'll be right back at it with
another episode soon enough. If you have any recommendations, anything
that you'd like me to cover, I will absolutely consider
it and do so. And as always, we are all
still standing being strong.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Take care, MHM.
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