May 16, 2025 • 47 mins
In this episode of the Strength 2 Overcome podcast, Ryan and Matt share personal updates, discussing the challenges of parenting, health issues, and the journey of self-discovery. They explore coping mechanisms, the importance of gratitude, and the lessons learned from life experiences. The conversation emphasizes the significance of community support and the need for personal growth, while also looking forward to future aspirations and the impact of their podcast.
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
Leave your ego at the door and get ready to be
raw.
This is Strength to Overcome,where real men find their
strength in weakness.
All right, guys, welcome back tothe Strength to Overcome
podcast.
I'm Ryan, here with my co-host,Matt, as always.
Matt, how you doing, brother?
SPEAKER_00 (00:21):
I'm good, mate.
It's been a rough couple ofweeks there, but we'll go into
that a little bit in moredetail.
I think we shared some of itlast week.
But in general, spirits arehigh, and I'm ready for this
exciting podcast we've got foreveryone today.
SPEAKER_02 (00:37):
That's awesome, man.
So what's going on in yourworld?
I know you were alone with thekids for a few days.
SPEAKER_00 (00:44):
You know, my wife had a 40th year celebration for
her and her friends that gotwiped out in the hurricanes last
year.
And so it got postponed.
And it just so happened that itwas rescheduled to this previous
week, which was just funnybecause obviously I've got one
arm.
And, you know, like I've said,opening a jar of peanut butter
is comical.
You know, I can't really do it.
(01:05):
And so here we are with thisfour day stretch of me and two
girls, you know, from sunup tosundown.
And a real great challenge forme to just keep myself
level-headed and focused onmaking sure that when she
returns, you know, they'realive.
That's pretty much it.
You know, dads out there willjust, we'll get it, right?
So the house is, you know, in acomplete state of destruction
(01:26):
for four days, you know, andthen about two hours before
she's scheduled to get back, youjust go into, you know, cleanup
mode and put everything backwhere it was and scrub the walls
down and, you know, hose thingsoff.
And, you know, comb the kids'hair, throw them in some clothes
that they weren't in four daysearlier, and, you know, stand at
the front door.
Yeah, hey, mommy, good to seeyou, kind of thing.
(01:46):
That's pretty much what happenedfor four straight days.
SPEAKER_02 (01:48):
There you go.
How's that?
It's got to be tough, man,especially with the arm.
I know I saw you out of thebrace, so you got a little bit
more movement in the arm, butwhat's it like?
Of course, I don't know yetbecause I don't have my little
one here yet, but what's it likehaving to be on 24-7 for four
straight days?
SPEAKER_00 (02:09):
As they get older, it gets a little bit easier, but
you still have these momentswhere they revert back to being
a complete infant.
Even my five-year-old does somestuff now that just you know
blows your brain and you thinkwhat am i doing here didn't we
didn't we stop doing this twoyears ago right you'll have this
you know momentary lapse thisregression that lasts 10 minutes
and then you know everythinggoes back to normal you're like
(02:31):
i'm glad i don't have to keepdoing that but you know for
those that are watching you'llbe able to see you know i've
still got the brace on right butwhat they've done is they've
opened it up so that i canextend it and this mechanism
here allows me to get a bit ofmovement and um You know, you'll
be able to see if you'rewatching, I can rotate my hand
now, get it to neutral.
But, you know, making a fist,and this is not a joke, you
(02:52):
know, I'm trying to make a fistthere as hard as I can.
And I can touch that fingertogether and that one there.
But getting the, you know, thatforefinger and that pinky across
is just, you know, superpainful, really challenging.
It hurts in the shoulder, youknow, everything's aching,
everything's still inflamed.
And that's why they say it'sfive or six months.
You know, these people out thererunning around telling stories
about being back out there anddoing their stuff in six weeks,
(03:15):
they're either on an enormousamount of painkillers, which I
don't take, or they've had adifferent surgery that's not the
same as this, because this is a,you know, five to six months
back to full strength.
So it's been a real challenge,you know, sleeping in the brace
still, just so I don'taccidentally do something I'm
not meant to.
It's been a real challenge.
And so obviously, you know,sleep deprived and having two
kids that come in in the middleof the night and try and climb
(03:36):
on top of the bed has beeninteresting.
It's funny you should ask thatbecause my five-year-old is
sensitive enough to know what'sgoing on, but she comes in at
one in the morning and comes upto my side of the bed and
whispers, Daddy, if you slideover, I won't be lying on your
bad arm, right?
That's the five-year-old.
So I slide into the middle ofthe bed because there's room, so
(03:58):
she jumps in.
And then my three-year-old youknow, completely oblivious.
You know, that's just herpersonality.
She wanders in, you know, anhour or two later, who knows
middle of the night, she walksin and, uh, she goes to the
other side and she's like, Heydaddy, I don't want to lie on
your arm.
So, you know, and it's likecompletely, you know, the
(04:19):
dichotomy of my two kids, youknow, one's completely clueless.
The other one's obviously alittle bit older.
So it's just been funny to gothrough some moments like that
during the four days.
And, um, They're just a lot offun right now, but still a lot
of work.
So I appreciate you checking inon me during those four days as
well.
SPEAKER_02 (04:37):
It sounds like our dogs.
You've got two kids doing it.
We've got three dogs that try tocome into the bed every night.
They start the night in theirlittle beds on the floor, and
then after a couple of hours,they all pop up onto the bed and
try to snuggle up close to us inthe bed.
So you've got a couple ofhumans.
I've got a few dogs doing thesame thing.
SPEAKER_00 (04:58):
That's chaos.
Do your dogs do it one at a timeor do they kind of, you know,
get wind of what's happening andcome in?
SPEAKER_02 (05:04):
They come up one at a time and, you know, Otis goes
to Erica's side and Veda, ourgirl dog, comes to my side.
And then Gus, he pretty muchgoes to the foot of the bed and
just hangs out at the foot ofthe bed.
But we wake up with all five ofus in the bed after going to
sleep, you know, with just twoof us in there.
UNKNOWN (05:23):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (05:24):
Yeah, and so, you know, the adage, right?
Dog, man's best friend.
I mean, they really are.
They're like, you know, humans.
So, yeah, you're about to haveall sorts of chaos up there.
So good luck with that in July.
Yeah.
How have you been?
I know you've been battling somestuff, too.
SPEAKER_02 (05:43):
Yeah, I mean, Erica, she got sick on her
bachelorette.
Well, she had a friend'sbachelorette weekend up in
Nashville, and she came homesick from that.
And I lasted about a week, weekand a half, not getting
anything.
And then it finally caught up tome, and I went down for the
count.
And, you know, I'm on the mend,but it's been a rough few days
(06:04):
of kind of congestion andheadache and that sort of thing.
I don't know if it's just acommon cold or what, but...
I was feeling pretty rough for aday or two there.
Luckily, it's starting to getbetter, so I think we're on the
mend.
I had a nice shift at the TPC.
I really wasn't feeling good atall.
I had to go out there for ashift at the golf course at TPC
(06:26):
Sawgrass, and it was actuallykind of good to get out there
and just sweat and be in thesunshine.
It kind of made me feel better,really.
SPEAKER_00 (06:34):
Well, you know me, mate.
I usually run around withnothing but a pair of shorts on
and bare feet, so I'm all aboutsunshine and fresh air, so...
it's probably dried you outpretty quick.
SPEAKER_02 (06:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had a couple, couple of coollittle things happen out there.
I actually met, uh, the other,the other day I was riding
around, you know, the, the way Ido the job, I think I told you,
I run around kind of a circlearound from the front of the
driving range, the practicegrounds to the back and the back
areas where the tourprofessionals are allowed in to,
(07:05):
uh, to practice.
They've kind of got their ownlittle Oasis back there.
They can get, Oh, nice.
(07:31):
I don't know if you rememberhim.
This guy won the Masters back in1982.
His nickname is Dolores.
He's a big, burly guy.
He looks just like he did 25years ago.
Him and his wife come out and Iguess she's just learning to
play golf.
They get a bunch of golf ballsand He's sitting in a chair.
(07:52):
I heard he doesn't play muchgolf anymore at his age, but
he's sitting in a chair watchingher hit and she's spraying balls
all over the place back there.
And of course, I'm the guy thathas to pick them all up.
So I'm out there with my twoshag bags later on, picking them
all up and And they go to leaveand drive past me.
And they just stopped their cartright beside me in my cart.
(08:13):
And he apologized.
He's like, sorry for the mess.
He had to clean up.
And I'm like, oh, it's allright.
No problem.
And we just sat there and talkedfor a few minutes.
And I'm sitting there thinkingto myself, like, I'm talking to
Craig Stadler, the walrus.
And just nice disguise,convenient.
His wife was friendly.
Like I said, she's just learningto play golf.
So he's out there with her.
And we were commenting howbeautiful it was out there with
(08:37):
a Well, you're in a positionwhere you could
SPEAKER_00 (08:54):
probably...
You know, we've talked aboutthis off the air, but you're in
a position where, you know, youwere a PGA professional, right?
I mean, you've got the abilityand opportunity to sort of get
back into that world, right?
So you probably have a lot ofemotions going through you when
you run into these people thathave kind of taken that path,
(09:14):
but you kind of walked away fromit.
SPEAKER_02 (09:18):
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm kind of...
You know, I kind of fight withthat if they ask me what I did
or do and that sort of thing.
I was a PGA professional at onepoint and, you know, I've still
got, you know, I've fallen sobehind on the trends, you know,
being out of the business fornine or 10 years now, but, you
know, still have a little bit ofthat baseline knowledge and can
(09:38):
talk golf and, and, It's kind ofcool.
One of the other acquaintancesI've met there, I'm actually
kind of pumped, we're on like afirst name basis now, but I
don't know if you remember LauraDiaz.
She's an LPGA tour player and Iliterally grew up watching her
on TV.
I mean, this was probably early2000s, right?
2002, 2004, 2005.
(10:00):
If you remember Laura Diaz, shewas a big Wake Forest player,
went out on tour, and she was inthe era with Anika Sorenstam and
Lorena Ochoa, Kari Webb.
SPEAKER_00 (10:10):
Yep.
SPEAKER_02 (10:12):
I know you remember Kari Webb.
She's an
SPEAKER_00 (10:14):
awesome girl.
Yeah,
SPEAKER_02 (10:15):
absolutely,
SPEAKER_00 (10:16):
mate.
SPEAKER_02 (10:17):
So Laura Diaz, and so she's– her and her husband
are members at TPC now, and shejust turned 50.
She had her birthday the otherday.
Wow.
And– you know, I kind ofconnected with her because she
was out on the, the drivingrange one day wearing a, a
ballyhack hat of all places.
SPEAKER_00 (10:34):
No kid.
SPEAKER_02 (10:34):
Yeah.
And so I, you know, I told her Iwas from Roanoke and we got to
talk, you know, they were, theylived in Winston Salem for a
number of years because theywere at Wake Forest.
Yeah.
UNKNOWN (10:44):
And,
SPEAKER_02 (10:45):
you know, now where I'm like this first name basis.
And the other day I'm out there,I'm like, Hey Laura.
And she's like, Hey Ryan.
And, uh, she's hitting balls andcause she still plays
competitively.
She, there's like a senior tourfor ladies.
I forget.
It's called the, um, I'm goingto butcher the name.
I forgot what it is.
It's not the champions tour, butit's called the legends.
Maybe the legends tour.
Okay.
(11:06):
for ladies and so she's stillgrinding a little bit and she
calls me over I'm picking upbags picking up tees whatever on
the range and she's like heyRyan will you film this swing
for me and so she hands me hercell phone and I'm like hitting
record to film her golf swing soshe can send it to her husband
and I'm sitting there like I'mfilming Laura Diaz's golf swing
(11:28):
in 2025.
Like, if you had told me 20years ago, as I'm watching the
golf channel, watching her play,that you're going to be filming
her swing one day on the drivingrange, like, you can't make this
up, right?
It's just, it's incredible.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
Yeah, I'll have to check out that bio now.
That's pretty cool.
I didn't realize, you know,obviously there's a lot of
members that you probablyhaven't even run into out there
yet.
You know, maybe they come in atdifferent times of the day, but
if you see the right peopleoften enough, then you just get
to know them, right?
SPEAKER_02 (11:57):
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, there's a few oldernames out there that some people
don't even remember that arejust floating around.
They play every day in the men'sgroup.
You know, there's this guy outthere named Bob Dixon, and he,
like, He was a tour winner fromthe 60s, and he's still out
there playing with the guys.
(12:19):
He's in his 80s now, and thingslike that.
I was rubbing elbows just theother week with Paul Azinger.
He came out.
I
SPEAKER_00 (12:28):
believe he lives close by here.
He's got a house close by here.
SPEAKER_02 (12:32):
Does he?
Yeah.
I think he...
He must have brought a group outto TPC and I didn't even
recognize him.
He looks different, you know,than he does on air because now
he calls, you know, he wasannouncing.
I think he's done with that now.
He's fully retired.
But yeah, he's another name thatwas kind of, it's cool.
(12:52):
You see the names that floatthrough and that sort of thing.
But I take it for granted a lotof times, but it's once you step
back and kind of pinch yourself.
Are
SPEAKER_00 (13:02):
you getting
SPEAKER_02 (13:02):
the itch?
Yeah, I'm starting to get theitch a little bit.
I just don't know really what todo with it, you know, in terms
of I've got, you know, I couldget my PGA status back, but I've
got a backlog of credits to makeup that's so long it would take
me probably a solid year or twoto make up those credits just to
(13:23):
get back on the PGA roster, justto be called a PGA professional
again.
So it's a little daunting tohave to make up all those
credits I missed.
So I don't really know where Istand on it.
You know, I want to continue tokind of put myself out there,
put myself in position.
I'm about, what, three weeks outfrom being able to play the
(13:43):
stadium course.
They let the employees play thestadium course, the championship
golf course there for a fewmonths during the summer, the
heat of the summer.
So come May 27th, I'll becalling it and trying to get a
tee time on the stadium courseout there.
SPEAKER_00 (13:59):
Well, I would recommend you don't take...
take the putter out of thebunker like you did a couple of
weeks ago and, uh, you know,knock it in, knock it in the
cup.
Um, it'd be great, you know,viewing, but you may get booted
off.
I don't know.
I don't know what the rules areout there.
I'm sure you can do whatever youlike as long as you, uh, uh,
beaten up the greens, right?
SPEAKER_02 (14:21):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's, uh, Yeah, it's going to bea five-hour round plus.
The rounds out there are longand kind of arduous just because
of the difficulty of the course.
It's a lot of foursomes.
You've got four caddies, andsome people are walking, some
aren't.
So it'll be kind of a long day,but I'm just looking forward to
(14:42):
being out on the golf course outthere for the first time and
actually being able to hit someshots on a championship golf
course like TPC and get to that17th hole.
SPEAKER_00 (14:52):
I want a full debrief on that, you know, some
pictures.
And I definitely need someone tohold the camera while you hit
that 17th tee shot.
SPEAKER_02 (15:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (15:02):
You know, no mulligans, right?
You get one shot.
That's for, you know,$5 million.
Play it like it is, right?
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah, film that.
But, you know, I always like tothink through what could happen
for someone when I hear stufflike that.
Yeah.
You know, I want to talk alittle bit about that today.
You know, obviously, we've gotto set ourselves up for what
(15:24):
does it look like for us, right?
We've obviously just spent thelast three episodes kind of
baring our souls, you know,sharing some stuff.
I know both of us have put a loton the line with some of the
content that we've shared that,you know, we've never shared
before.
And...
I just want the audience to knowthat there's a purpose to why
(15:46):
we've done that.
And I know that obviously youshared some stuff that I didn't
even know that, you know, I'vegot some other questions on as
well.
But, you know, I need theaudience to understand that
we're not here just catching upon YouTube and podcasts, right?
We're actually trying to set thetone for what it is that we're
going to be doing movingforward.
I've got a couple of questionsfrom your testimony.
If you're up to the task.
SPEAKER_02 (16:09):
Yeah, spoiler alert, if you haven't listened already
to episodes two and three, andyou haven't heard Matt's story
in episode two and mine inepisode three, Definitely click
off and go back and hit those upand watch or listen if you're on
Spotify, Apple Podcasts and kindof get the full story because
Matt tells an unbelievable storyin his and hopefully you were
(16:31):
able to follow along in mine andthere's a kind of a great twist
at the end.
Definitely check those out.
Yeah, it was great to be able toshare that and kind of get that
out there and I know otherpeople are struggling with
similar things out there, andit's going to be something
people can relate to on both ourends, whether it comes from
relationship and divorce orwhether it's alcohol issues or
(16:56):
other relationship issues thatpeople are having.
They're going to relate to it.
Yeah, man, what do you got forme?
SPEAKER_00 (17:03):
Well, you know, it's one of those things that, you
know, as I've studied and read alot of material and talked to
professionals, you know, I findthat what we do as humans is we
really avoid pain, right?
We don't want to experience anytype of suffering.
We'll do anything we can toavoid it.
And so we usually just findsomething to mask that.
And for me, obviously, alcoholhas never been something that
(17:25):
was in my life.
It was just not introduced as akid.
I wasn't around people that didit.
And so it's been one of thosethings my whole training career
where I've really had a hardtime understanding why people
can fall into that.
Now, of course, I'm not in thatplace anymore.
But in your situation, I'd liketo sort of dig in on how were
you able to maintain such a highlevel of athleticism, strength,
(17:48):
performance?
You were competing.
At the same time, you started toreally fall into the addiction,
the the addiction side of, youknow, the bourbon and the
drinking.
And what did that crossover looklike?
Because I can't imagine you wereable to maintain it for long.
SPEAKER_01 (18:05):
Yeah,
SPEAKER_00 (18:05):
you
SPEAKER_02 (18:05):
know, I actually, I probably tapered out of
competing by the time I got intothe bourbon world.
You know, COVID kind of killedthe competition side of things
for me, 2019, 2020.
I don't think I competed muchpast 2018, to be honest.
And, you know, so I kind oftapered a little bit there and I
(18:28):
had lost a little bit of thatcompetitive edge.
And I think that's when thebourbon started to creep in.
I was still able to maintain apretty high level of fitness
during that time, mostly becausemy nutrition in terms of my food
had been so dialed in.
I was eating the same thingseach day for breakfast, for
lunch, for dinner, you know,whole real foods.
(18:51):
You know, CrossFit likes to say,you know, eat meat and
vegetables, nuts and seeds, somefruit, little, you know, starch,
no sugar.
That's kind of the CrossFitsaying.
And so, you know, I adhered tothat pretty well.
And so the addition of alcoholinto that didn't take a huge
toll at first in terms of myfitness level, but it did start
(19:11):
to shift my interests away fromworking out and that sort of
thing.
So that was the thing thateventually, you know, kind of
led to me not pursuing thefitness side of things as much
as I had that interest in thebourbon world of all things.
SPEAKER_00 (19:30):
So do you find then that you really just switched
one addiction for another?
SPEAKER_02 (19:34):
I think in a way I've done that my whole life.
You know, I think at one pointit was basketball.
At one point it was golf, youknow, hitting a golf ball.
You know, you can call it apassion.
I think people fall back on thatword quite a lot.
This is a passion of mine.
But I think at the same time, itcan be a passion.
It can also be a copingmechanism.
hitting a golf ball and makingyourself feel good with a good
(19:56):
golf score is a way to forgetabout the pain you're feeling
about your childhood or feelabout your relationship or hide
something else.
And so golf kind of morphed intofitness.
Fitness morphed into alcohol andthe bourbon world.
And it's almost like I've had acontinuing coping mechanism
through the years with thesethings and they've been hidden
(20:18):
or they've been written aspassions or careers, but in a
way they've been copingmechanisms, right?
SPEAKER_00 (20:24):
Yeah, so my question now is what's your next coping
mechanism or are you going todevelop a routine where you try
to...
find a happy medium?
I mean, what's the plan
SPEAKER_02 (20:35):
here?
Yeah, I think deep down I'mhoping that my next mechanism is
fatherhood, but I'm not sure howthat's going to go, right?
It's like, do I want to rely onmy identity as a father to be my
next thing in life?
And I think that's where a lotof people fall into.
I don't think it's something Ican necessarily fall back on and
say, hey, this is what's it,because it's going to be, as you
(20:57):
know, a lot of work and there'sa lot of tough things that come
along with it.
To bang on that and say, well,my next thing is becoming a
father.
That's my next mechanism.
That's tough.
Maybe it's podcasting, right?
Maybe it's sitting here talkingto you and helping others out on
the podcast and what we createwith this journey.
(21:19):
But that's kind of what I'm tornbetween right now.
And it's why I also have a hardtime putting goals together in
my head because I don't reallyknow what's going to be that
next thing.
SPEAKER_00 (21:28):
Yeah, we've talked a little bit again off the air
about this sort of stuff.
For the audience out there, wedon't just get together once a
week here and go live.
I mean, we're obviously in aposition where we're really
struggling with some stuff andwe've shared a lot of that.
But we're also incrediblyexcited about helping each other
and helping others.
I've had a few things happen inmy life where I've had some
conversations with and peoplethat are obviously going through
(21:50):
some stuff.
And it's been an amazingopportunity for me to hear and
listen and just kind of be astanding board to some stuff out
there.
So we're not here to get on oncea week and say we've got it all
figured out.
But my job as a friend and assomeone that's trying to help
others, my goal is to make surethat we keep you on a path that
(22:10):
gives you the best opportunityto flourish into the man you
were designed to become, right?
SPEAKER_02 (22:15):
Yeah.
UNKNOWN (22:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (22:15):
Yeah.
And, you know, hopefully I canprovide the same for you and we
can do the same for for othersout there that are they're
struggling with stuff.
But it's like you said, it's notlike we're standing on two
soapboxes preaching about howfar we've come and, you know,
we've got it all figured outbecause.
Physically and emotionally,we're kind of in the dumps right
(22:38):
now between the two of us,right?
You with the injury and thatsort of thing physically and me
with kind of this transitionalperiod of life I'm in.
It's tough.
SPEAKER_00 (22:50):
Yeah, it was funny.
I was going on my walk the otherday and I was sitting down at
this bench where I take my shoesoff and I get my feet in the
ground.
And, you know, just soak in thesun and take a bit of a
breather.
Sometimes I need a break withthe arm getting heavy and such.
So I was sitting there and Iwatched this golf course worker
go flying by on his little, youknow, John Deere, you know,
(23:10):
four-wheeler type thing there.
And all of a sudden he threw thebrakes on and he stopped and he
picked up this turtle that musthave been, you know, a foot
wide.
I mean, this thing was enormous.
And this turtle was walkingtowards a water area.
But to get there, he was goingto have to cross over the
street.
And this is a busy littleintersection spot here.
where I'm sitting at this bench.
And so I'm watching all thisunfold and I watch this guy get
(23:31):
out and he picks this thing upand he starts walking it back
towards this pond area where Iwas sitting right in front of
it.
So I'm watching this whole thingunfold and this turtle puts its
neck all the way out and triesto snap back at the hands of
this guy, right?
SPEAKER_02 (23:47):
It's a snapping turtle.
SPEAKER_00 (23:48):
Exactly.
And so its feet are floppingaround and then it pulls
everything in and, you know,you've got a few more feet as
he's trying to shuffle thisthing back and, you know, And
then all of a sudden, it wasalmost like it was trying to
catch him off guard.
Like, if I pull in, maybe he'llthink I'm gone, right?
And so this guy, you know, iswaiting for it.
Of course, all of a sudden, allhis legs pop out and his head
(24:11):
comes flying out and tries tosnap him to the other side,
right?
And so I'm watching this unfold.
And this poor guy is trying tojust basically make sure that
this turtle gets across thestreet because...
you know, I don't know how manytimes you've seen it down here,
but, you know, quite oftenyou'll be driving along and
you'll see the remains of aturtle that didn't make it,
right?
It's kind of a sad little momentbecause it's squished to
(24:32):
buggery.
And so you're thinking, like,this guy's doing a really good
thing.
And he walks this thing acrossthe street, gets all the way
across, and it keeps trying tosnap and reach back.
And I mean, it's aggressive, youknow, nature is just shocking to
me.
And he finally gets it right tothe edge of the water and he
drops it about two feet short ofthe water.
And as soon as it hits theground, it just peels straight
into the water, right?
It takes off.
And I'm like, at this I'm about10 feet away from the action and
(24:55):
I'm watching this unfold.
I kind of look at him.
I'm like, hey, man, great job.
He's like, did you see thatthing trying to eat me?
And I said, yeah, man, you heldon to it.
You didn't drop that thing.
You held on strong and you gotthat safety.
And he's like, thanks, man.
So, you know, of course, hegoes, jumps back in his little
four wheeler thing and goesabout his day.
And I just sat there and I'mthinking, you know what?
This is such a life lesson righthere, you know?
I...
I'm watching this turtlebasically have its life saved,
(25:18):
more than likely.
And all it was doing was buckingand weaving and trying to bite
the hand of this guy that wastrying to help it.
And in the end, I sat there andI'm like, the turtle didn't even
stop, look around at this guyand say, thank you.
It didn't acknowledge how youjust saved my life.
It didn't.
It didn't pause at all.
As soon as it hit the ground, ittook off.
(25:39):
And not only that, the workerdidn't stop.
Now, I just happened to bethere, so I had a conversation
with him, but he didn't stop andwait for a thank you.
He didn't stop and look for anykind of acknowledgement.
He just, you know, turned aroundand went about his day.
And I thought, wow, thank you.
You know, the Almighty alwaysgives me these little moments,
right?
I'm sitting there early in themorning watching this unfold,
and I thought to myself, thisquestion came across me.
(26:02):
you know like I've told in someof my other stories I don't hear
a voice but I have a thought andthe thought to me was Matthew
are you the golf course workeror are you the turtle and I
spent the rest of my walk backreally processing that thought
because I think a lot of thetime I've been the turtle
snapping at help that's come myway being too proud to accept
(26:23):
assistance being ungrateful wheni've had it not acknowledging
you know not having gratitudejust being full of you know i
did it i made it i worked my assoff to get to this point and uh
you know getting on to the nextbig thing right and i've spent a
lot of my life having to now goback and give thanks to those
that have helped me and ask forsome forgiveness on some things
(26:44):
that I've probably just been tooproud to acknowledge.
And so my question would be, youknow, I pose it to you, you
know, obviously I'm going to putyou on the spot here, but are
you the golf course workerthat's out there saving turtles
or are you, have you been theturtle or have you been
SPEAKER_02 (26:56):
both?
I've probably been the turtlemyself.
That's a pretty cool story.
I, you know, I'd say I gothrough a lot of my days being
the turtle, right?
Where it's snapping and, and,um, you know, being not, not
very grateful for the life andthe situation we're in.
And that's, and every once in awhile I get those moments where
(27:18):
I kind of think and like, wow, Ihad one of those yesterday,
actually, when I was talking toErica about some stuff and, you
know, Because I go about a lotof my days with this woe is me
mindset and this attitude.
I won't call it a victimmindset, but it's almost like a
villain mindset or some sort ofjust a story I've built up in my
(27:41):
head about who I am and whatI've done and what I'm doing and
the situation I'm in.
And she kind of looked at me andshe's like, you realize that
you're essentially retired atage 37.
I'm 38 now, but I'm 37 lastyear.
She's like, you realize thatyou're essentially retired.
(28:03):
You've had multiple careersalready.
You've sold a business.
You've got passive income comingin.
You've got a wife who's a doctorand who's going to He's set up
financially for many years.
You yourself are fine.
And it's like, you'reessentially retired.
And I'm like, gosh, you're kindof, I'm like, I'm pretty much
(28:25):
retired.
But I don't go about my daysthinking that.
I've been going about my daysthinking, oh, what am I going to
do with myself?
Or gosh, I don't have anything.
I don't have any purpose.
I don't have anything to do.
And it just, it was a moment ofgratitude of being like, wow,
I've actually made it to thispoint.
where I can spend a day doingnothing because I choose to do
(28:46):
nothing.
And I was, I found myself inthat moment.
I was still trying to be theturtle, right?
Snapping at, at the situation.
But, uh, it was just a kind of amoment of reflection and
gratitude and kind of just asigh of relief, like, wow,
SPEAKER_00 (29:00):
okay.
That's cool that it's all tiedin together because I hadn't
told you that story and I seenow that, you know,
simultaneously you're goingthrough your own moment, but now
you can kind of put it to astory where you realize, you
know, hey, life is pretty good.
I'm being saved right now.
Things are actually falling intoplace.
Someone's carrying me to safety.
Having a heart of gratitude, Ithink, is something that I
(29:20):
really want to pour into thispodcast and make sure that it's
part of every episode we put outthere because in the blink of an
eye, things can change.
I just yesterday heard a storyof a friend that had had an
accident and was in hospital.
And I won't share the detailsbecause obviously that's their
story.
But in the blink of an eye,things have changed for this
person, a good friend of mine.
And my heart just sank because Ithought, wow, the minute we
(29:42):
think we've got it all figuredout, there's something that can
happen and it can all be takenaway.
And I often tell people this,that A long time ago, I was told
by some really smart people thathave achieved a lot, and they
said, listen, if you want toknow where you're going to be in
five years, look at the booksyou're reading and the people
that you're hanging out with.
And there's more often than notsome truth to that, that if you
(30:05):
hang around with a bunch ofpeople that are out running
around late at night drinkingand boozing and doing drugs and
stealing stuff and causingmischief in the neighborhood,
right?
I mean, you're going to runaround that life.
You know, eventually you'reprobably going to end up, you
know, spending a day in aconcrete hotel or something,
right?
I mean, you know, there's goingto be a court kind of thing,
right?
And the times that you havewhere you get spare time and
(30:27):
then I know this might relate toyou a lot, but when you get
spare time in your day, what youchoose to pick up to read is an
important moment in your daybecause you can either choose to
pick something up that's goingto equip you, and in your case,
hey, a book about becoming a dador how to recover from neck
surgery or...
how to be a brilliant podcaster,right?
(30:47):
You could pick up material thatfuels some things that would
benefit you, or you could pickup garbage that at the end of
the hour, you're actuallyfueling your mind with things
that create fear, negativity,pride, everything we're working
to eliminate.
And so I've always carried thatwith me for the last couple of
decades.
And so when I finally get sparetime in my life, obviously my
(31:10):
life's a little different thanyours at the moment, but being
injured, I found myself having abit more time.
And it's just easy to get caughtup in the NBA finals or watching
some international cricket, myfavorite sport.
And it's just easy to findmyself saying, well, you can't
work, right?
Let me catch the last quarter ofthe game or something.
And so I have to catch myselfeven now saying, what are you
(31:31):
going to do with your sparetime?
And so, of course, we're workingon this podcast and a lot of
time does go into that outsideof this actual filming.
But I have to encourage you andI'm encouraging myself and our
listeners, where do you want tobe in five years?
Because The decisions that youmake today will bring you to
that place.
And I have found throughout mylife that when I ignore that
(31:51):
voice and I pick up the wrongbook or don't pick up a book at
all or pick up something that'sgoing to further me, when I
waste that time, which I'veshared in that opening episode,
I've spent a lot of time beingcaught up in the wrong stuff.
When I have wasted that time,that time has been taken from
me.
So let me say it again.
When I have wasted theopportunity of time, when I've
(32:12):
spent it poorly, I find thatthat time is taken away from me.
When I pour it into the rightthings, I find myself with more
time.
So in a case like yours, I'mgoing to encourage you, you
know, live on this episode,you've got a lot of time on your
hands and you can't really getinto too much because Erica's,
you know, working on her career.
You're about to, you know, morethan likely be the stay-at-home
dad.
You really can't embark ongetting a nine to five, right?
(32:35):
But what you can do iseverything I just spoke about.
Change the circle of friendsyou're around if you need to.
Pick up a all if you need to.
Work on these things becauseyou're in a very dangerous
position, as am I, where all ofa sudden we've got a lot of time
on our hands.
(32:56):
We have these very addictivetype personalities where we want
to win, we want to succeed, wewant to be the best at it.
If we let fear sneak in and tryand take away that momentum, I
find myself getting caught up insport, a passion of mine.
You might find yourself, I thinkyou've talked about sitting
around watching YouTube videos,right?
(33:16):
Yeah.
So I'm speaking to everybody outthere that's listening, or
anyone that's watching, and I'mspeaking to you and me.
Over the next 24 hours, you'regoing to have the very thought
that I've just planted, thatseed has been planted in your
brain now.
When you get 10 spare minutes oran hour, what are you going to
do with it?
Because if you use it to dosomething that doesn't push you
towards your goals, you'rewasting that time.
(33:39):
If you continue to waste thattime, To grow, I'm telling you,
based on my experience, a lot ofpeople I've spoken with, that
time will be taken from you.
Not as a punishment, but as a,well, if you're not going to use
the time wisely, then I'm goingto help you find a life lesson
in what it's going to cost you,just like it would with my kids.
(33:59):
I'm not going to let them sitthere and watch five straight
hours of TV because I knowthat's not good for them.
I'm going to encourage them todo a jigsaw puzzle.
I'm going to encourage them todraw.
I'm going to encourage them todevelop their talents.
No different than what'shappening to you and I right
now.
We've been given an opportunityto develop our talents.
So my challenge to you and toeverybody listening is what are
you doing with your spare time?
(34:20):
What books are you reading?
And who are you hanging outwith?
Because there's people out therethat are going to drag you down.
They're going to suck the livinglife out of you.
They're negative.
They're complaining.
They're moaning.
They're woe is me.
And they're turning to the wrongthings to cope with it.
Over time, you may need to findothers that do the complete
opposite.
They encourage you.
They lift you up.
They check in on you.
They support you.
(34:40):
They have compassion.
They have empathy.
They don't let you get caught inyour own own world right find
those people pray for thosepeople and I'm telling you those
people will find you and you'llbe connected with those people
and I feel like that's why I'vebeen connected with you because
deep down at the very core Iknow who you are and what you
stand for and I see great thingshappening for you and for me and
(35:01):
that's why this is such a greatexperience for me I mean I'd
love to be podcasting andspeaking at engagements and
writing material in this fieldfor the rest of my life.
I love it.
And so I'm going to encourageyou to find that passion of
yours that isn't an addiction,but it is a genuine passion, a
gift that's been given to you,and run with it.
SPEAKER_02 (35:21):
Yeah.
Yeah, I think a lot of peopleneed to find it, right?
A lot of people have...
And they're so stuck in the nineto five grind and the family
grind of things that they'vejust lost complete sight of
themselves.
And I certainly know how thatgoes with the grind and
everything.
But you're right, man.
It's important.
It's something people have tofind and have to develop.
(35:42):
And it's not a...
it's almost like a skill youhave to grind through to create.
And a lot of people think itjust comes naturally to some
folks, but the people that aredoing it have practiced it over
and over and over again.
SPEAKER_00 (35:56):
Yeah, it's going to be littered through the material
I'm pouring through where it'sgoing to encourage you to create
a daily habit, a daily routine.
And it's not easy because wetell ourselves we're too busy,
we don't have the time.
But in all reality, if you wereto look back over the course of
the last seven days of yourlife?
How much time did you spenddoing something that didn't
(36:18):
further you?
And so people will say, well,I'm brain dead at the end of the
day, or I'm tired.
I just want to switch the brainoff.
I just want to scroll throughand check on some stuff.
But more often than not, thestuff that we are putting
ourselves in front of, whetherit be TV, music, magazines,
social media, internet, or thepeople we're hanging with, more
(36:39):
often than not, If we take areal analytic look at it, we're
actually making the brain moredead than it was from work.
Or you're hanging out withsomeone that is negative and now
you've got that negative energythat you're taking into your
next day or a complainingattitude.
Or you've read something thatcreates fear that you didn't
realize.
It had a subliminal message inthere that you walk away saying,
(37:01):
well, you know what?
I better just keep my nine tofive.
I don't want to try thatbusiness.
I don't want to try and be anentrepreneur.
I don't want to risk something.
And so we've got to really do aforensic look at where are we
spending our spare time becauseevery single person listening to
this right now has spare time.
I don't care how busy you are,how many kids you got, how many
(37:22):
jobs you're working, you havefound time in your week, your
month, your year.
to do things that may or may notbe benefiting you.
So if you feel like you're in arut, you're on the canvas and
things aren't working for you,take a look at where you're
spending your spare time.
There's a good chance you'rewasting it.
I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to me, you know,because I found myself doing
(37:42):
that.
Since surgery five, six weeksago, I found at the end of the
day, I'm like, what did Iachieve today?
Got no excuses.
I can't work.
I can't even hold a pen towrite.
Like I couldn't even get a jobwhere I'm going to write or type
or anything, right?
I'm kind of in this positionwhere I've been given this gift
of time.
And I know that if I use itwisely, I will be given more of
it.
And the funding, the provision,the blessings from above, the
(38:03):
abundance that we need as a hometo survive will come if I'm
doing something that is...
aligned with a higher power sofor me i feel called to be doing
this and i feel called for youknow helping people in trouble
i've already had conversationswith a couple of people this
week that are struggling and ifound myself just blown away
that out of thin air you knowsix weeks ago i didn't know this
(38:24):
person was struggling in thisway and now i'm in a position
where i'll be able to you knowbe a friend to them
SPEAKER_02 (38:28):
right and i like i like how it's not a position,
we're not taking the position ofan expert and a guru, right?
And that's one of the reasons Ithink we both shared our stories
over the last couple of weeks toreally put ourselves in a light
that, hey, we're not standing upon a box and preaching.
And I think a lot of my past hasdone that, whether it's been as
(38:53):
a PGA pro or a fitness coach, agym owner.
You know, I've kind of stood upon that podium and preached when
I had all these other things,these problems going on.
And so we're kind of startingout a new journey in a way of,
hey, this is where we've been.
This is where we are now.
We're struggling in theseaspects, but we can still help
people from that standpoint.
And I think it's even a morepowerful position to be in than
(39:17):
trying to paint ourselves as theexpert.
SPEAKER_00 (39:20):
Yeah, no doubt.
And, you know, when I thinkabout that turtle and another
story that I'm going to readhere from a book I read, when I
go through this material and Isee things that unfold and I run
into people on the street, whichjust keeps happening to me, I
realize that when you putyourself out there and you're
open to it, you know, the rightpeople are going to come, the
right opportunities, right?
(39:41):
They always say, right, I'mgoing to The harder I work, the
luckier I get.
You've heard people say thatphrase?
SPEAKER_02 (39:47):
I think that might have been Sam Snead who first
said that.
He could have been a golfer.
I don't know if he took it fromsomeone, but he was one of the
ones that said that back in theday.
SPEAKER_00 (39:56):
I believe so because it's funny.
They talk about that.
I think I talked about that atthe Masters Just Gone.
But that happens in every walkof life, right?
So for you and I and anybodylistening, right?
When you've got downtime, sparetime, what are you using it to
do?
Develop something.
Right.
It's it's your opportunity todevelop a skill and a language,
you know, be helpful to someone.
(40:16):
Right.
But I've got this little story.
It's part of it.
Have you read Stephen Covey's
SPEAKER_02 (40:20):
The Seven Habits?
SPEAKER_00 (40:21):
The Seven Habits.
Yeah.
Have you read that?
SPEAKER_02 (40:24):
It's been a long time.
It's been probably 15 years orsomething.
But I did read through it, youknow, back in the day.
SPEAKER_00 (40:30):
You know, I was on my walk this morning and I just
felt impressed.
This story has always stuck withme.
I'm just going to read it.
I'm not obviously taking creditfor it.
It's in his book.
But it's.
It goes like this.
So the captain remained on thebridge, keeping an eye on all
activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookouton the wing of the bridge
reported light bearing on thestarboard bow.
(40:50):
Is it steady or moving astern?
The captain called out.
Lookout replied, steady,captain, which meant we were on
a dangerous collision coursewith that ship.
The captain then called to thesignalman.
Signal that ship.
We are on a collision course.
Advise you change course 20degrees.
Back came a signal.
advisable for you to changecourse 20 degrees.
(41:11):
The captain said, send, I'm acaptain, change course 20
degrees.
I'm a seaman, second class, camethe reply.
You'd better change course 20degrees.
By that time, the captain wasfurious.
He spat out, send, I'm abattleship, change course 20
degrees.
Back came the flashing light.
I'm a lighthouse.
(41:34):
We are so full of pride as thatcaptain that we refuse to
acknowledge that someone else,whether it be us on this podcast
or your neighbor or a parent orsomeone, we are so full of pride
that we refuse to hear thatwe're on a course for danger.
We're on a course for trouble.
Trust me, I had people in myjourney try and guide me through
(41:57):
some of the things that I endedup butchering, which I've shared
about.
And that story has always stuckwith me because now I want to
position myself as humbly as Ican as the lighthouse, right?
I'm not a battleship.
I'm not a captain.
But I want to position myself asa lighthouse and just be there
for people that are maybe on acourse for something they don't
realize they're headed for orjust be able to, hey, don't go
(42:20):
this direction.
it's going to end, it's going toend poorly.
Right.
And so, you know, as we lay thefoundation for this future
podcast series, I want people tounderstand I'm just trying to be
a lighthouse because of themistakes I've made, the
suffering, the heartache, youknow, a lot of financial errors
that I've made, which havecaused a lot of people harm and
ourselves, you know, financialissue, but I can be the
(42:41):
lighthouse for those people.
And so I try and come at it froma very humble position and I'll
do my best to do that movingforward.
And, uh, I'm excited to knowwhat's coming for some of these
episodes moving forward, andespecially with you.
SPEAKER_02 (42:54):
Yeah, and hopefully I can be that lighthouse to
folks as well, eventually.
We've both been in the gym ownerspace, so we can speak to people
who are in that fitnessentrepreneur space.
We can speak to clients.
I've been a fitness clientmyself, so in terms of getting
(43:15):
in shape and trying to stay inshape.
And then, you know, we've alsogot the golf background.
We played a lot of golf togetherand, you know, we've had that
kind of had that connectionthere before.
And then fatherhood coming up aswell.
So we've kind of got that in a,in a sense of like, Hey, these
are the things we've, we've gonethrough or are getting ready to
go through.
(43:35):
There's been a lot of mistakesalong the way.
We can, we can kind of steer andget in different directions
based on things that we'veexperienced.
SPEAKER_00 (43:46):
Yeah, I'm excited to do it, and we've actually got
next week a special guest linedup that's going to be able to
share some of his story.
You know, I don't want to giveaway any of it, but during my
darkest time, just after thefast, I had those two mates that
(44:10):
really carried me through a lot,and And I just want to give them
a shout out.
I've asked for permission to doso.
You know, it's not everybody'sgoal to be on YouTube, but I did
want to specifically give them ashout out to Aaron, who pretty
much, you know, day in, day out,checked in on me and was there
for me and actually was, youknow, kind enough to come out
(44:31):
when I was in NorthernCalifornia and spend that time
with me.
And times were pretty rough andpretty dark there.
And he came out and spent sometime with me just to get me
through.
And he was, you know,instrumental in, you know, being
available.
So when I actually ended upgoing back to Roanoke, he let me
stay with him and we spent sometime together there going
(44:51):
through a lot and some real timeof prayer and meditation
together.
And so he was unbelievable inthat time of my life.
And the other time was a buddyof mine who literally carried me
through at times.
His name is Jamal.
I don't call him that.
I don't call either of those twopeople Aaron or Jamal, but
they've got nicknames as I giveto everybody.
(45:12):
But There's a lot of story withhim and what he did for me and
how he opened his home at thetime was not an easy thing to do
and have me there and literallywas with me for the last half of
my fast.
And the story of how we becamefriends and connected is an
amazing story too.
So those two guys were there forme day and night during that
(45:33):
time.
And I know for sure I would havenot made it or at least in this
conditional state.
but more than likely not made ithad I not had Aaron and Jamal
with me during that time.
And I'm very pumped, veryexcited.
I'm honored and I'm verygrateful to know that next week,
one of those guys is going to beon as our guest, you know,
sharing some of their journeys,maybe a few anecdotes of our
(45:56):
times together, but going to bean amazing story to hear from
them.
So I'm excited for you to be apart of that next week.
So yeah, thanks to those twoguys and one of them is
SPEAKER_02 (46:06):
with
SPEAKER_00 (46:06):
us
SPEAKER_02 (46:06):
next week.
That's going to be awesome.
I'm pumped for that.
It's going to be exciting tohave him on and hear a little
bit from his side of things.
I know he's got some otherstories that some folks are
going to be interested in aswell, so we're going to really
dive into all that.
Definitely tune in next week,guys.
Make sure you like, subscribe.
If you're on YouTube, give us alike, a subscribe on YouTube,
(46:29):
comment.
We love to hear from folks.
If you want to email us, askquestions, you're always welcome
to.
It's info.strengthtoovercome atgmail.com.
Remember, that's a two in thetitle there, not T-O, but the
number two.
And follow us on Facebook,Instagram.
You can find us, Strength toOvercome, on both of those.
Make sure you follow along.
(46:49):
Stay up to date.
Each Friday, we're releasing anew episode.
And like Matt said, we've gotsome amazing guests coming on
the show in the coming weeks.
And it's going to be exciting.
So, Matt, I'm pumped for it,brother.
SPEAKER_00 (47:03):
Yeah, looking forward to it.
And just to follow up on that,you know, really does mean a lot
to us when people check in, theywatch, they listen, and, you
know, they share it around.
You know, we do want to helppeople out there.
We genuinely try to, you know,find the best way to do that.
And so your support in makingthat happen is, you know, in
advance already reallyappreciated.
(47:23):
So thanks to everybody.
I want you guys to stay strongand just remember that you're
not alone.
SPEAKER_02 (47:28):
Thanks, guys.
We'll see you next Friday.
SPEAKER_00 (47:31):
Cheers.
Leave your ego at the door and get ready to be
raw.
This is Strength to Overcome,where real men find their
strength in weakness.
All right, guys, welcome back tothe Strength to Overcome
podcast.
I'm Ryan, here with my co-host,Matt, as always.
Matt, how you doing, brother?
SPEAKER_00 (00:21):
I'm good, mate.
It's been a rough couple ofweeks there, but we'll go into
that a little bit in moredetail.
I think we shared some of itlast week.
But in general, spirits arehigh, and I'm ready for this
exciting podcast we've got foreveryone today.
SPEAKER_02 (00:37):
That's awesome, man.
So what's going on in yourworld?
I know you were alone with thekids for a few days.
SPEAKER_00 (00:44):
You know, my wife had a 40th year celebration for
her and her friends that gotwiped out in the hurricanes last
year.
And so it got postponed.
And it just so happened that itwas rescheduled to this previous
week, which was just funnybecause obviously I've got one
arm.
And, you know, like I've said,opening a jar of peanut butter
is comical.
You know, I can't really do it.
(01:05):
And so here we are with thisfour day stretch of me and two
girls, you know, from sunup tosundown.
And a real great challenge forme to just keep myself
level-headed and focused onmaking sure that when she
returns, you know, they'realive.
That's pretty much it.
You know, dads out there willjust, we'll get it, right?
So the house is, you know, in acomplete state of destruction
(01:26):
for four days, you know, andthen about two hours before
she's scheduled to get back, youjust go into, you know, cleanup
mode and put everything backwhere it was and scrub the walls
down and, you know, hose thingsoff.
And, you know, comb the kids'hair, throw them in some clothes
that they weren't in four daysearlier, and, you know, stand at
the front door.
Yeah, hey, mommy, good to seeyou, kind of thing.
(01:46):
That's pretty much what happenedfor four straight days.
SPEAKER_02 (01:48):
There you go.
How's that?
It's got to be tough, man,especially with the arm.
I know I saw you out of thebrace, so you got a little bit
more movement in the arm, butwhat's it like?
Of course, I don't know yetbecause I don't have my little
one here yet, but what's it likehaving to be on 24-7 for four
straight days?
SPEAKER_00 (02:09):
As they get older, it gets a little bit easier, but
you still have these momentswhere they revert back to being
a complete infant.
Even my five-year-old does somestuff now that just you know
blows your brain and you thinkwhat am i doing here didn't we
didn't we stop doing this twoyears ago right you'll have this
you know momentary lapse thisregression that lasts 10 minutes
and then you know everythinggoes back to normal you're like
(02:31):
i'm glad i don't have to keepdoing that but you know for
those that are watching you'llbe able to see you know i've
still got the brace on right butwhat they've done is they've
opened it up so that i canextend it and this mechanism
here allows me to get a bit ofmovement and um You know, you'll
be able to see if you'rewatching, I can rotate my hand
now, get it to neutral.
But, you know, making a fist,and this is not a joke, you
(02:52):
know, I'm trying to make a fistthere as hard as I can.
And I can touch that fingertogether and that one there.
But getting the, you know, thatforefinger and that pinky across
is just, you know, superpainful, really challenging.
It hurts in the shoulder, youknow, everything's aching,
everything's still inflamed.
And that's why they say it'sfive or six months.
You know, these people out thererunning around telling stories
about being back out there anddoing their stuff in six weeks,
(03:15):
they're either on an enormousamount of painkillers, which I
don't take, or they've had adifferent surgery that's not the
same as this, because this is a,you know, five to six months
back to full strength.
So it's been a real challenge,you know, sleeping in the brace
still, just so I don'taccidentally do something I'm
not meant to.
It's been a real challenge.
And so obviously, you know,sleep deprived and having two
kids that come in in the middleof the night and try and climb
(03:36):
on top of the bed has beeninteresting.
It's funny you should ask thatbecause my five-year-old is
sensitive enough to know what'sgoing on, but she comes in at
one in the morning and comes upto my side of the bed and
whispers, Daddy, if you slideover, I won't be lying on your
bad arm, right?
That's the five-year-old.
So I slide into the middle ofthe bed because there's room, so
(03:58):
she jumps in.
And then my three-year-old youknow, completely oblivious.
You know, that's just herpersonality.
She wanders in, you know, anhour or two later, who knows
middle of the night, she walksin and, uh, she goes to the
other side and she's like, Heydaddy, I don't want to lie on
your arm.
So, you know, and it's likecompletely, you know, the
(04:19):
dichotomy of my two kids, youknow, one's completely clueless.
The other one's obviously alittle bit older.
So it's just been funny to gothrough some moments like that
during the four days.
And, um, They're just a lot offun right now, but still a lot
of work.
So I appreciate you checking inon me during those four days as
well.
SPEAKER_02 (04:37):
It sounds like our dogs.
You've got two kids doing it.
We've got three dogs that try tocome into the bed every night.
They start the night in theirlittle beds on the floor, and
then after a couple of hours,they all pop up onto the bed and
try to snuggle up close to us inthe bed.
So you've got a couple ofhumans.
I've got a few dogs doing thesame thing.
SPEAKER_00 (04:58):
That's chaos.
Do your dogs do it one at a timeor do they kind of, you know,
get wind of what's happening andcome in?
SPEAKER_02 (05:04):
They come up one at a time and, you know, Otis goes
to Erica's side and Veda, ourgirl dog, comes to my side.
And then Gus, he pretty muchgoes to the foot of the bed and
just hangs out at the foot ofthe bed.
But we wake up with all five ofus in the bed after going to
sleep, you know, with just twoof us in there.
UNKNOWN (05:23):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (05:24):
Yeah, and so, you know, the adage, right?
Dog, man's best friend.
I mean, they really are.
They're like, you know, humans.
So, yeah, you're about to haveall sorts of chaos up there.
So good luck with that in July.
Yeah.
How have you been?
I know you've been battling somestuff, too.
SPEAKER_02 (05:43):
Yeah, I mean, Erica, she got sick on her
bachelorette.
Well, she had a friend'sbachelorette weekend up in
Nashville, and she came homesick from that.
And I lasted about a week, weekand a half, not getting
anything.
And then it finally caught up tome, and I went down for the
count.
And, you know, I'm on the mend,but it's been a rough few days
(06:04):
of kind of congestion andheadache and that sort of thing.
I don't know if it's just acommon cold or what, but...
I was feeling pretty rough for aday or two there.
Luckily, it's starting to getbetter, so I think we're on the
mend.
I had a nice shift at the TPC.
I really wasn't feeling good atall.
I had to go out there for ashift at the golf course at TPC
(06:26):
Sawgrass, and it was actuallykind of good to get out there
and just sweat and be in thesunshine.
It kind of made me feel better,really.
SPEAKER_00 (06:34):
Well, you know me, mate.
I usually run around withnothing but a pair of shorts on
and bare feet, so I'm all aboutsunshine and fresh air, so...
it's probably dried you outpretty quick.
SPEAKER_02 (06:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had a couple, couple of coollittle things happen out there.
I actually met, uh, the other,the other day I was riding
around, you know, the, the way Ido the job, I think I told you,
I run around kind of a circlearound from the front of the
driving range, the practicegrounds to the back and the back
areas where the tourprofessionals are allowed in to,
(07:05):
uh, to practice.
They've kind of got their ownlittle Oasis back there.
They can get, Oh, nice.
(07:31):
I don't know if you rememberhim.
This guy won the Masters back in1982.
His nickname is Dolores.
He's a big, burly guy.
He looks just like he did 25years ago.
Him and his wife come out and Iguess she's just learning to
play golf.
They get a bunch of golf ballsand He's sitting in a chair.
(07:52):
I heard he doesn't play muchgolf anymore at his age, but
he's sitting in a chair watchingher hit and she's spraying balls
all over the place back there.
And of course, I'm the guy thathas to pick them all up.
So I'm out there with my twoshag bags later on, picking them
all up and And they go to leaveand drive past me.
And they just stopped their cartright beside me in my cart.
(08:13):
And he apologized.
He's like, sorry for the mess.
He had to clean up.
And I'm like, oh, it's allright.
No problem.
And we just sat there and talkedfor a few minutes.
And I'm sitting there thinkingto myself, like, I'm talking to
Craig Stadler, the walrus.
And just nice disguise,convenient.
His wife was friendly.
Like I said, she's just learningto play golf.
So he's out there with her.
And we were commenting howbeautiful it was out there with
(08:37):
a Well, you're in a positionwhere you could
SPEAKER_00 (08:54):
probably...
You know, we've talked aboutthis off the air, but you're in
a position where, you know, youwere a PGA professional, right?
I mean, you've got the abilityand opportunity to sort of get
back into that world, right?
So you probably have a lot ofemotions going through you when
you run into these people thathave kind of taken that path,
(09:14):
but you kind of walked away fromit.
SPEAKER_02 (09:18):
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm kind of...
You know, I kind of fight withthat if they ask me what I did
or do and that sort of thing.
I was a PGA professional at onepoint and, you know, I've still
got, you know, I've fallen sobehind on the trends, you know,
being out of the business fornine or 10 years now, but, you
know, still have a little bit ofthat baseline knowledge and can
(09:38):
talk golf and, and, It's kind ofcool.
One of the other acquaintancesI've met there, I'm actually
kind of pumped, we're on like afirst name basis now, but I
don't know if you remember LauraDiaz.
She's an LPGA tour player and Iliterally grew up watching her
on TV.
I mean, this was probably early2000s, right?
2002, 2004, 2005.
(10:00):
If you remember Laura Diaz, shewas a big Wake Forest player,
went out on tour, and she was inthe era with Anika Sorenstam and
Lorena Ochoa, Kari Webb.
SPEAKER_00 (10:10):
Yep.
SPEAKER_02 (10:12):
I know you remember Kari Webb.
She's an
SPEAKER_00 (10:14):
awesome girl.
Yeah,
SPEAKER_02 (10:15):
absolutely,
SPEAKER_00 (10:16):
mate.
SPEAKER_02 (10:17):
So Laura Diaz, and so she's– her and her husband
are members at TPC now, and shejust turned 50.
She had her birthday the otherday.
Wow.
And– you know, I kind ofconnected with her because she
was out on the, the drivingrange one day wearing a, a
ballyhack hat of all places.
SPEAKER_00 (10:34):
No kid.
SPEAKER_02 (10:34):
Yeah.
And so I, you know, I told her Iwas from Roanoke and we got to
talk, you know, they were, theylived in Winston Salem for a
number of years because theywere at Wake Forest.
Yeah.
UNKNOWN (10:44):
And,
SPEAKER_02 (10:45):
you know, now where I'm like this first name basis.
And the other day I'm out there,I'm like, Hey Laura.
And she's like, Hey Ryan.
And, uh, she's hitting balls andcause she still plays
competitively.
She, there's like a senior tourfor ladies.
I forget.
It's called the, um, I'm goingto butcher the name.
I forgot what it is.
It's not the champions tour, butit's called the legends.
Maybe the legends tour.
Okay.
(11:06):
for ladies and so she's stillgrinding a little bit and she
calls me over I'm picking upbags picking up tees whatever on
the range and she's like heyRyan will you film this swing
for me and so she hands me hercell phone and I'm like hitting
record to film her golf swing soshe can send it to her husband
and I'm sitting there like I'mfilming Laura Diaz's golf swing
(11:28):
in 2025.
Like, if you had told me 20years ago, as I'm watching the
golf channel, watching her play,that you're going to be filming
her swing one day on the drivingrange, like, you can't make this
up, right?
It's just, it's incredible.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
Yeah, I'll have to check out that bio now.
That's pretty cool.
I didn't realize, you know,obviously there's a lot of
members that you probablyhaven't even run into out there
yet.
You know, maybe they come in atdifferent times of the day, but
if you see the right peopleoften enough, then you just get
to know them, right?
SPEAKER_02 (11:57):
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, there's a few oldernames out there that some people
don't even remember that arejust floating around.
They play every day in the men'sgroup.
You know, there's this guy outthere named Bob Dixon, and he,
like, He was a tour winner fromthe 60s, and he's still out
there playing with the guys.
(12:19):
He's in his 80s now, and thingslike that.
I was rubbing elbows just theother week with Paul Azinger.
He came out.
I
SPEAKER_00 (12:28):
believe he lives close by here.
He's got a house close by here.
SPEAKER_02 (12:32):
Does he?
Yeah.
I think he...
He must have brought a group outto TPC and I didn't even
recognize him.
He looks different, you know,than he does on air because now
he calls, you know, he wasannouncing.
I think he's done with that now.
He's fully retired.
But yeah, he's another name thatwas kind of, it's cool.
(12:52):
You see the names that floatthrough and that sort of thing.
But I take it for granted a lotof times, but it's once you step
back and kind of pinch yourself.
Are
SPEAKER_00 (13:02):
you getting
SPEAKER_02 (13:02):
the itch?
Yeah, I'm starting to get theitch a little bit.
I just don't know really what todo with it, you know, in terms
of I've got, you know, I couldget my PGA status back, but I've
got a backlog of credits to makeup that's so long it would take
me probably a solid year or twoto make up those credits just to
(13:23):
get back on the PGA roster, justto be called a PGA professional
again.
So it's a little daunting tohave to make up all those
credits I missed.
So I don't really know where Istand on it.
You know, I want to continue tokind of put myself out there,
put myself in position.
I'm about, what, three weeks outfrom being able to play the
(13:43):
stadium course.
They let the employees play thestadium course, the championship
golf course there for a fewmonths during the summer, the
heat of the summer.
So come May 27th, I'll becalling it and trying to get a
tee time on the stadium courseout there.
SPEAKER_00 (13:59):
Well, I would recommend you don't take...
take the putter out of thebunker like you did a couple of
weeks ago and, uh, you know,knock it in, knock it in the
cup.
Um, it'd be great, you know,viewing, but you may get booted
off.
I don't know.
I don't know what the rules areout there.
I'm sure you can do whatever youlike as long as you, uh, uh,
beaten up the greens, right?
SPEAKER_02 (14:21):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's, uh, Yeah, it's going to bea five-hour round plus.
The rounds out there are longand kind of arduous just because
of the difficulty of the course.
It's a lot of foursomes.
You've got four caddies, andsome people are walking, some
aren't.
So it'll be kind of a long day,but I'm just looking forward to
(14:42):
being out on the golf course outthere for the first time and
actually being able to hit someshots on a championship golf
course like TPC and get to that17th hole.
SPEAKER_00 (14:52):
I want a full debrief on that, you know, some
pictures.
And I definitely need someone tohold the camera while you hit
that 17th tee shot.
SPEAKER_02 (15:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (15:02):
You know, no mulligans, right?
You get one shot.
That's for, you know,$5 million.
Play it like it is, right?
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah, film that.
But, you know, I always like tothink through what could happen
for someone when I hear stufflike that.
Yeah.
You know, I want to talk alittle bit about that today.
You know, obviously, we've gotto set ourselves up for what
(15:24):
does it look like for us, right?
We've obviously just spent thelast three episodes kind of
baring our souls, you know,sharing some stuff.
I know both of us have put a loton the line with some of the
content that we've shared that,you know, we've never shared
before.
And...
I just want the audience to knowthat there's a purpose to why
(15:46):
we've done that.
And I know that obviously youshared some stuff that I didn't
even know that, you know, I'vegot some other questions on as
well.
But, you know, I need theaudience to understand that
we're not here just catching upon YouTube and podcasts, right?
We're actually trying to set thetone for what it is that we're
going to be doing movingforward.
I've got a couple of questionsfrom your testimony.
If you're up to the task.
SPEAKER_02 (16:09):
Yeah, spoiler alert, if you haven't listened already
to episodes two and three, andyou haven't heard Matt's story
in episode two and mine inepisode three, Definitely click
off and go back and hit those upand watch or listen if you're on
Spotify, Apple Podcasts and kindof get the full story because
Matt tells an unbelievable storyin his and hopefully you were
(16:31):
able to follow along in mine andthere's a kind of a great twist
at the end.
Definitely check those out.
Yeah, it was great to be able toshare that and kind of get that
out there and I know otherpeople are struggling with
similar things out there, andit's going to be something
people can relate to on both ourends, whether it comes from
relationship and divorce orwhether it's alcohol issues or
(16:56):
other relationship issues thatpeople are having.
They're going to relate to it.
Yeah, man, what do you got forme?
SPEAKER_00 (17:03):
Well, you know, it's one of those things that, you
know, as I've studied and read alot of material and talked to
professionals, you know, I findthat what we do as humans is we
really avoid pain, right?
We don't want to experience anytype of suffering.
We'll do anything we can toavoid it.
And so we usually just findsomething to mask that.
And for me, obviously, alcoholhas never been something that
(17:25):
was in my life.
It was just not introduced as akid.
I wasn't around people that didit.
And so it's been one of thosethings my whole training career
where I've really had a hardtime understanding why people
can fall into that.
Now, of course, I'm not in thatplace anymore.
But in your situation, I'd liketo sort of dig in on how were
you able to maintain such a highlevel of athleticism, strength,
(17:48):
performance?
You were competing.
At the same time, you started toreally fall into the addiction,
the the addiction side of, youknow, the bourbon and the
drinking.
And what did that crossover looklike?
Because I can't imagine you wereable to maintain it for long.
SPEAKER_01 (18:05):
Yeah,
SPEAKER_00 (18:05):
you
SPEAKER_02 (18:05):
know, I actually, I probably tapered out of
competing by the time I got intothe bourbon world.
You know, COVID kind of killedthe competition side of things
for me, 2019, 2020.
I don't think I competed muchpast 2018, to be honest.
And, you know, so I kind oftapered a little bit there and I
(18:28):
had lost a little bit of thatcompetitive edge.
And I think that's when thebourbon started to creep in.
I was still able to maintain apretty high level of fitness
during that time, mostly becausemy nutrition in terms of my food
had been so dialed in.
I was eating the same thingseach day for breakfast, for
lunch, for dinner, you know,whole real foods.
(18:51):
You know, CrossFit likes to say,you know, eat meat and
vegetables, nuts and seeds, somefruit, little, you know, starch,
no sugar.
That's kind of the CrossFitsaying.
And so, you know, I adhered tothat pretty well.
And so the addition of alcoholinto that didn't take a huge
toll at first in terms of myfitness level, but it did start
(19:11):
to shift my interests away fromworking out and that sort of
thing.
So that was the thing thateventually, you know, kind of
led to me not pursuing thefitness side of things as much
as I had that interest in thebourbon world of all things.
SPEAKER_00 (19:30):
So do you find then that you really just switched
one addiction for another?
SPEAKER_02 (19:34):
I think in a way I've done that my whole life.
You know, I think at one pointit was basketball.
At one point it was golf, youknow, hitting a golf ball.
You know, you can call it apassion.
I think people fall back on thatword quite a lot.
This is a passion of mine.
But I think at the same time, itcan be a passion.
It can also be a copingmechanism.
hitting a golf ball and makingyourself feel good with a good
(19:56):
golf score is a way to forgetabout the pain you're feeling
about your childhood or feelabout your relationship or hide
something else.
And so golf kind of morphed intofitness.
Fitness morphed into alcohol andthe bourbon world.
And it's almost like I've had acontinuing coping mechanism
through the years with thesethings and they've been hidden
(20:18):
or they've been written aspassions or careers, but in a
way they've been copingmechanisms, right?
SPEAKER_00 (20:24):
Yeah, so my question now is what's your next coping
mechanism or are you going todevelop a routine where you try
to...
find a happy medium?
I mean, what's the plan
SPEAKER_02 (20:35):
here?
Yeah, I think deep down I'mhoping that my next mechanism is
fatherhood, but I'm not sure howthat's going to go, right?
It's like, do I want to rely onmy identity as a father to be my
next thing in life?
And I think that's where a lotof people fall into.
I don't think it's something Ican necessarily fall back on and
say, hey, this is what's it,because it's going to be, as you
(20:57):
know, a lot of work and there'sa lot of tough things that come
along with it.
To bang on that and say, well,my next thing is becoming a
father.
That's my next mechanism.
That's tough.
Maybe it's podcasting, right?
Maybe it's sitting here talkingto you and helping others out on
the podcast and what we createwith this journey.
(21:19):
But that's kind of what I'm tornbetween right now.
And it's why I also have a hardtime putting goals together in
my head because I don't reallyknow what's going to be that
next thing.
SPEAKER_00 (21:28):
Yeah, we've talked a little bit again off the air
about this sort of stuff.
For the audience out there, wedon't just get together once a
week here and go live.
I mean, we're obviously in aposition where we're really
struggling with some stuff andwe've shared a lot of that.
But we're also incrediblyexcited about helping each other
and helping others.
I've had a few things happen inmy life where I've had some
conversations with and peoplethat are obviously going through
(21:50):
some stuff.
And it's been an amazingopportunity for me to hear and
listen and just kind of be astanding board to some stuff out
there.
So we're not here to get on oncea week and say we've got it all
figured out.
But my job as a friend and assomeone that's trying to help
others, my goal is to make surethat we keep you on a path that
(22:10):
gives you the best opportunityto flourish into the man you
were designed to become, right?
SPEAKER_02 (22:15):
Yeah.
UNKNOWN (22:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (22:15):
Yeah.
And, you know, hopefully I canprovide the same for you and we
can do the same for for othersout there that are they're
struggling with stuff.
But it's like you said, it's notlike we're standing on two
soapboxes preaching about howfar we've come and, you know,
we've got it all figured outbecause.
Physically and emotionally,we're kind of in the dumps right
(22:38):
now between the two of us,right?
You with the injury and thatsort of thing physically and me
with kind of this transitionalperiod of life I'm in.
It's tough.
SPEAKER_00 (22:50):
Yeah, it was funny.
I was going on my walk the otherday and I was sitting down at
this bench where I take my shoesoff and I get my feet in the
ground.
And, you know, just soak in thesun and take a bit of a
breather.
Sometimes I need a break withthe arm getting heavy and such.
So I was sitting there and Iwatched this golf course worker
go flying by on his little, youknow, John Deere, you know,
(23:10):
four-wheeler type thing there.
And all of a sudden he threw thebrakes on and he stopped and he
picked up this turtle that musthave been, you know, a foot
wide.
I mean, this thing was enormous.
And this turtle was walkingtowards a water area.
But to get there, he was goingto have to cross over the
street.
And this is a busy littleintersection spot here.
where I'm sitting at this bench.
And so I'm watching all thisunfold and I watch this guy get
(23:31):
out and he picks this thing upand he starts walking it back
towards this pond area where Iwas sitting right in front of
it.
So I'm watching this whole thingunfold and this turtle puts its
neck all the way out and triesto snap back at the hands of
this guy, right?
SPEAKER_02 (23:47):
It's a snapping turtle.
SPEAKER_00 (23:48):
Exactly.
And so its feet are floppingaround and then it pulls
everything in and, you know,you've got a few more feet as
he's trying to shuffle thisthing back and, you know, And
then all of a sudden, it wasalmost like it was trying to
catch him off guard.
Like, if I pull in, maybe he'llthink I'm gone, right?
And so this guy, you know, iswaiting for it.
Of course, all of a sudden, allhis legs pop out and his head
(24:11):
comes flying out and tries tosnap him to the other side,
right?
And so I'm watching this unfold.
And this poor guy is trying tojust basically make sure that
this turtle gets across thestreet because...
you know, I don't know how manytimes you've seen it down here,
but, you know, quite oftenyou'll be driving along and
you'll see the remains of aturtle that didn't make it,
right?
It's kind of a sad little momentbecause it's squished to
(24:32):
buggery.
And so you're thinking, like,this guy's doing a really good
thing.
And he walks this thing acrossthe street, gets all the way
across, and it keeps trying tosnap and reach back.
And I mean, it's aggressive, youknow, nature is just shocking to
me.
And he finally gets it right tothe edge of the water and he
drops it about two feet short ofthe water.
And as soon as it hits theground, it just peels straight
into the water, right?
It takes off.
And I'm like, at this I'm about10 feet away from the action and
(24:55):
I'm watching this unfold.
I kind of look at him.
I'm like, hey, man, great job.
He's like, did you see thatthing trying to eat me?
And I said, yeah, man, you heldon to it.
You didn't drop that thing.
You held on strong and you gotthat safety.
And he's like, thanks, man.
So, you know, of course, hegoes, jumps back in his little
four wheeler thing and goesabout his day.
And I just sat there and I'mthinking, you know what?
This is such a life lesson righthere, you know?
I...
I'm watching this turtlebasically have its life saved,
(25:18):
more than likely.
And all it was doing was buckingand weaving and trying to bite
the hand of this guy that wastrying to help it.
And in the end, I sat there andI'm like, the turtle didn't even
stop, look around at this guyand say, thank you.
It didn't acknowledge how youjust saved my life.
It didn't.
It didn't pause at all.
As soon as it hit the ground, ittook off.
(25:39):
And not only that, the workerdidn't stop.
Now, I just happened to bethere, so I had a conversation
with him, but he didn't stop andwait for a thank you.
He didn't stop and look for anykind of acknowledgement.
He just, you know, turned aroundand went about his day.
And I thought, wow, thank you.
You know, the Almighty alwaysgives me these little moments,
right?
I'm sitting there early in themorning watching this unfold,
and I thought to myself, thisquestion came across me.
(26:02):
you know like I've told in someof my other stories I don't hear
a voice but I have a thought andthe thought to me was Matthew
are you the golf course workeror are you the turtle and I
spent the rest of my walk backreally processing that thought
because I think a lot of thetime I've been the turtle
snapping at help that's come myway being too proud to accept
(26:23):
assistance being ungrateful wheni've had it not acknowledging
you know not having gratitudejust being full of you know i
did it i made it i worked my assoff to get to this point and uh
you know getting on to the nextbig thing right and i've spent a
lot of my life having to now goback and give thanks to those
that have helped me and ask forsome forgiveness on some things
(26:44):
that I've probably just been tooproud to acknowledge.
And so my question would be, youknow, I pose it to you, you
know, obviously I'm going to putyou on the spot here, but are
you the golf course workerthat's out there saving turtles
or are you, have you been theturtle or have you been
SPEAKER_02 (26:56):
both?
I've probably been the turtlemyself.
That's a pretty cool story.
I, you know, I'd say I gothrough a lot of my days being
the turtle, right?
Where it's snapping and, and,um, you know, being not, not
very grateful for the life andthe situation we're in.
And that's, and every once in awhile I get those moments where
(27:18):
I kind of think and like, wow, Ihad one of those yesterday,
actually, when I was talking toErica about some stuff and, you
know, Because I go about a lotof my days with this woe is me
mindset and this attitude.
I won't call it a victimmindset, but it's almost like a
villain mindset or some sort ofjust a story I've built up in my
(27:41):
head about who I am and whatI've done and what I'm doing and
the situation I'm in.
And she kind of looked at me andshe's like, you realize that
you're essentially retired atage 37.
I'm 38 now, but I'm 37 lastyear.
She's like, you realize thatyou're essentially retired.
(28:03):
You've had multiple careersalready.
You've sold a business.
You've got passive income comingin.
You've got a wife who's a doctorand who's going to He's set up
financially for many years.
You yourself are fine.
And it's like, you'reessentially retired.
And I'm like, gosh, you're kindof, I'm like, I'm pretty much
(28:25):
retired.
But I don't go about my daysthinking that.
I've been going about my daysthinking, oh, what am I going to
do with myself?
Or gosh, I don't have anything.
I don't have any purpose.
I don't have anything to do.
And it just, it was a moment ofgratitude of being like, wow,
I've actually made it to thispoint.
where I can spend a day doingnothing because I choose to do
(28:46):
nothing.
And I was, I found myself inthat moment.
I was still trying to be theturtle, right?
Snapping at, at the situation.
But, uh, it was just a kind of amoment of reflection and
gratitude and kind of just asigh of relief, like, wow,
SPEAKER_00 (29:00):
okay.
That's cool that it's all tiedin together because I hadn't
told you that story and I seenow that, you know,
simultaneously you're goingthrough your own moment, but now
you can kind of put it to astory where you realize, you
know, hey, life is pretty good.
I'm being saved right now.
Things are actually falling intoplace.
Someone's carrying me to safety.
Having a heart of gratitude, Ithink, is something that I
(29:20):
really want to pour into thispodcast and make sure that it's
part of every episode we put outthere because in the blink of an
eye, things can change.
I just yesterday heard a storyof a friend that had had an
accident and was in hospital.
And I won't share the detailsbecause obviously that's their
story.
But in the blink of an eye,things have changed for this
person, a good friend of mine.
And my heart just sank because Ithought, wow, the minute we
(29:42):
think we've got it all figuredout, there's something that can
happen and it can all be takenaway.
And I often tell people this,that A long time ago, I was told
by some really smart people thathave achieved a lot, and they
said, listen, if you want toknow where you're going to be in
five years, look at the booksyou're reading and the people
that you're hanging out with.
And there's more often than notsome truth to that, that if you
(30:05):
hang around with a bunch ofpeople that are out running
around late at night drinkingand boozing and doing drugs and
stealing stuff and causingmischief in the neighborhood,
right?
I mean, you're going to runaround that life.
You know, eventually you'reprobably going to end up, you
know, spending a day in aconcrete hotel or something,
right?
I mean, you know, there's goingto be a court kind of thing,
right?
And the times that you havewhere you get spare time and
(30:27):
then I know this might relate toyou a lot, but when you get
spare time in your day, what youchoose to pick up to read is an
important moment in your daybecause you can either choose to
pick something up that's goingto equip you, and in your case,
hey, a book about becoming a dador how to recover from neck
surgery or...
how to be a brilliant podcaster,right?
(30:47):
You could pick up material thatfuels some things that would
benefit you, or you could pickup garbage that at the end of
the hour, you're actuallyfueling your mind with things
that create fear, negativity,pride, everything we're working
to eliminate.
And so I've always carried thatwith me for the last couple of
decades.
And so when I finally get sparetime in my life, obviously my
(31:10):
life's a little different thanyours at the moment, but being
injured, I found myself having abit more time.
And it's just easy to get caughtup in the NBA finals or watching
some international cricket, myfavorite sport.
And it's just easy to findmyself saying, well, you can't
work, right?
Let me catch the last quarter ofthe game or something.
And so I have to catch myselfeven now saying, what are you
(31:31):
going to do with your sparetime?
And so, of course, we're workingon this podcast and a lot of
time does go into that outsideof this actual filming.
But I have to encourage you andI'm encouraging myself and our
listeners, where do you want tobe in five years?
Because The decisions that youmake today will bring you to
that place.
And I have found throughout mylife that when I ignore that
(31:51):
voice and I pick up the wrongbook or don't pick up a book at
all or pick up something that'sgoing to further me, when I
waste that time, which I'veshared in that opening episode,
I've spent a lot of time beingcaught up in the wrong stuff.
When I have wasted that time,that time has been taken from
me.
So let me say it again.
When I have wasted theopportunity of time, when I've
(32:12):
spent it poorly, I find thatthat time is taken away from me.
When I pour it into the rightthings, I find myself with more
time.
So in a case like yours, I'mgoing to encourage you, you
know, live on this episode,you've got a lot of time on your
hands and you can't really getinto too much because Erica's,
you know, working on her career.
You're about to, you know, morethan likely be the stay-at-home
dad.
You really can't embark ongetting a nine to five, right?
(32:35):
But what you can do iseverything I just spoke about.
Change the circle of friendsyou're around if you need to.
Pick up a all if you need to.
Work on these things becauseyou're in a very dangerous
position, as am I, where all ofa sudden we've got a lot of time
on our hands.
(32:56):
We have these very addictivetype personalities where we want
to win, we want to succeed, wewant to be the best at it.
If we let fear sneak in and tryand take away that momentum, I
find myself getting caught up insport, a passion of mine.
You might find yourself, I thinkyou've talked about sitting
around watching YouTube videos,right?
(33:16):
Yeah.
So I'm speaking to everybody outthere that's listening, or
anyone that's watching, and I'mspeaking to you and me.
Over the next 24 hours, you'regoing to have the very thought
that I've just planted, thatseed has been planted in your
brain now.
When you get 10 spare minutes oran hour, what are you going to
do with it?
Because if you use it to dosomething that doesn't push you
towards your goals, you'rewasting that time.
(33:39):
If you continue to waste thattime, To grow, I'm telling you,
based on my experience, a lot ofpeople I've spoken with, that
time will be taken from you.
Not as a punishment, but as a,well, if you're not going to use
the time wisely, then I'm goingto help you find a life lesson
in what it's going to cost you,just like it would with my kids.
(33:59):
I'm not going to let them sitthere and watch five straight
hours of TV because I knowthat's not good for them.
I'm going to encourage them todo a jigsaw puzzle.
I'm going to encourage them todraw.
I'm going to encourage them todevelop their talents.
No different than what'shappening to you and I right
now.
We've been given an opportunityto develop our talents.
So my challenge to you and toeverybody listening is what are
you doing with your spare time?
(34:20):
What books are you reading?
And who are you hanging outwith?
Because there's people out therethat are going to drag you down.
They're going to suck the livinglife out of you.
They're negative.
They're complaining.
They're moaning.
They're woe is me.
And they're turning to the wrongthings to cope with it.
Over time, you may need to findothers that do the complete
opposite.
They encourage you.
They lift you up.
They check in on you.
They support you.
(34:40):
They have compassion.
They have empathy.
They don't let you get caught inyour own own world right find
those people pray for thosepeople and I'm telling you those
people will find you and you'llbe connected with those people
and I feel like that's why I'vebeen connected with you because
deep down at the very core Iknow who you are and what you
stand for and I see great thingshappening for you and for me and
(35:01):
that's why this is such a greatexperience for me I mean I'd
love to be podcasting andspeaking at engagements and
writing material in this fieldfor the rest of my life.
I love it.
And so I'm going to encourageyou to find that passion of
yours that isn't an addiction,but it is a genuine passion, a
gift that's been given to you,and run with it.
SPEAKER_02 (35:21):
Yeah.
Yeah, I think a lot of peopleneed to find it, right?
A lot of people have...
And they're so stuck in the nineto five grind and the family
grind of things that they'vejust lost complete sight of
themselves.
And I certainly know how thatgoes with the grind and
everything.
But you're right, man.
It's important.
It's something people have tofind and have to develop.
(35:42):
And it's not a...
it's almost like a skill youhave to grind through to create.
And a lot of people think itjust comes naturally to some
folks, but the people that aredoing it have practiced it over
and over and over again.
SPEAKER_00 (35:56):
Yeah, it's going to be littered through the material
I'm pouring through where it'sgoing to encourage you to create
a daily habit, a daily routine.
And it's not easy because wetell ourselves we're too busy,
we don't have the time.
But in all reality, if you wereto look back over the course of
the last seven days of yourlife?
How much time did you spenddoing something that didn't
(36:18):
further you?
And so people will say, well,I'm brain dead at the end of the
day, or I'm tired.
I just want to switch the brainoff.
I just want to scroll throughand check on some stuff.
But more often than not, thestuff that we are putting
ourselves in front of, whetherit be TV, music, magazines,
social media, internet, or thepeople we're hanging with, more
(36:39):
often than not, If we take areal analytic look at it, we're
actually making the brain moredead than it was from work.
Or you're hanging out withsomeone that is negative and now
you've got that negative energythat you're taking into your
next day or a complainingattitude.
Or you've read something thatcreates fear that you didn't
realize.
It had a subliminal message inthere that you walk away saying,
(37:01):
well, you know what?
I better just keep my nine tofive.
I don't want to try thatbusiness.
I don't want to try and be anentrepreneur.
I don't want to risk something.
And so we've got to really do aforensic look at where are we
spending our spare time becauseevery single person listening to
this right now has spare time.
I don't care how busy you are,how many kids you got, how many
(37:22):
jobs you're working, you havefound time in your week, your
month, your year.
to do things that may or may notbe benefiting you.
So if you feel like you're in arut, you're on the canvas and
things aren't working for you,take a look at where you're
spending your spare time.
There's a good chance you'rewasting it.
I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to me, you know,because I found myself doing
(37:42):
that.
Since surgery five, six weeksago, I found at the end of the
day, I'm like, what did Iachieve today?
Got no excuses.
I can't work.
I can't even hold a pen towrite.
Like I couldn't even get a jobwhere I'm going to write or type
or anything, right?
I'm kind of in this positionwhere I've been given this gift
of time.
And I know that if I use itwisely, I will be given more of
it.
And the funding, the provision,the blessings from above, the
(38:03):
abundance that we need as a hometo survive will come if I'm
doing something that is...
aligned with a higher power sofor me i feel called to be doing
this and i feel called for youknow helping people in trouble
i've already had conversationswith a couple of people this
week that are struggling and ifound myself just blown away
that out of thin air you knowsix weeks ago i didn't know this
(38:24):
person was struggling in thisway and now i'm in a position
where i'll be able to you knowbe a friend to them
SPEAKER_02 (38:28):
right and i like i like how it's not a position,
we're not taking the position ofan expert and a guru, right?
And that's one of the reasons Ithink we both shared our stories
over the last couple of weeks toreally put ourselves in a light
that, hey, we're not standing upon a box and preaching.
And I think a lot of my past hasdone that, whether it's been as
(38:53):
a PGA pro or a fitness coach, agym owner.
You know, I've kind of stood upon that podium and preached when
I had all these other things,these problems going on.
And so we're kind of startingout a new journey in a way of,
hey, this is where we've been.
This is where we are now.
We're struggling in theseaspects, but we can still help
people from that standpoint.
And I think it's even a morepowerful position to be in than
(39:17):
trying to paint ourselves as theexpert.
SPEAKER_00 (39:20):
Yeah, no doubt.
And, you know, when I thinkabout that turtle and another
story that I'm going to readhere from a book I read, when I
go through this material and Isee things that unfold and I run
into people on the street, whichjust keeps happening to me, I
realize that when you putyourself out there and you're
open to it, you know, the rightpeople are going to come, the
right opportunities, right?
(39:41):
They always say, right, I'mgoing to The harder I work, the
luckier I get.
You've heard people say thatphrase?
SPEAKER_02 (39:47):
I think that might have been Sam Snead who first
said that.
He could have been a golfer.
I don't know if he took it fromsomeone, but he was one of the
ones that said that back in theday.
SPEAKER_00 (39:56):
I believe so because it's funny.
They talk about that.
I think I talked about that atthe Masters Just Gone.
But that happens in every walkof life, right?
So for you and I and anybodylistening, right?
When you've got downtime, sparetime, what are you using it to
do?
Develop something.
Right.
It's it's your opportunity todevelop a skill and a language,
you know, be helpful to someone.
(40:16):
Right.
But I've got this little story.
It's part of it.
Have you read Stephen Covey's
SPEAKER_02 (40:20):
The Seven Habits?
SPEAKER_00 (40:21):
The Seven Habits.
Yeah.
Have you read that?
SPEAKER_02 (40:24):
It's been a long time.
It's been probably 15 years orsomething.
But I did read through it, youknow, back in the day.
SPEAKER_00 (40:30):
You know, I was on my walk this morning and I just
felt impressed.
This story has always stuck withme.
I'm just going to read it.
I'm not obviously taking creditfor it.
It's in his book.
But it's.
It goes like this.
So the captain remained on thebridge, keeping an eye on all
activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookouton the wing of the bridge
reported light bearing on thestarboard bow.
(40:50):
Is it steady or moving astern?
The captain called out.
Lookout replied, steady,captain, which meant we were on
a dangerous collision coursewith that ship.
The captain then called to thesignalman.
Signal that ship.
We are on a collision course.
Advise you change course 20degrees.
Back came a signal.
advisable for you to changecourse 20 degrees.
(41:11):
The captain said, send, I'm acaptain, change course 20
degrees.
I'm a seaman, second class, camethe reply.
You'd better change course 20degrees.
By that time, the captain wasfurious.
He spat out, send, I'm abattleship, change course 20
degrees.
Back came the flashing light.
I'm a lighthouse.
(41:34):
We are so full of pride as thatcaptain that we refuse to
acknowledge that someone else,whether it be us on this podcast
or your neighbor or a parent orsomeone, we are so full of pride
that we refuse to hear thatwe're on a course for danger.
We're on a course for trouble.
Trust me, I had people in myjourney try and guide me through
(41:57):
some of the things that I endedup butchering, which I've shared
about.
And that story has always stuckwith me because now I want to
position myself as humbly as Ican as the lighthouse, right?
I'm not a battleship.
I'm not a captain.
But I want to position myself asa lighthouse and just be there
for people that are maybe on acourse for something they don't
realize they're headed for orjust be able to, hey, don't go
(42:20):
this direction.
it's going to end, it's going toend poorly.
Right.
And so, you know, as we lay thefoundation for this future
podcast series, I want people tounderstand I'm just trying to be
a lighthouse because of themistakes I've made, the
suffering, the heartache, youknow, a lot of financial errors
that I've made, which havecaused a lot of people harm and
ourselves, you know, financialissue, but I can be the
(42:41):
lighthouse for those people.
And so I try and come at it froma very humble position and I'll
do my best to do that movingforward.
And, uh, I'm excited to knowwhat's coming for some of these
episodes moving forward, andespecially with you.
SPEAKER_02 (42:54):
Yeah, and hopefully I can be that lighthouse to
folks as well, eventually.
We've both been in the gym ownerspace, so we can speak to people
who are in that fitnessentrepreneur space.
We can speak to clients.
I've been a fitness clientmyself, so in terms of getting
(43:15):
in shape and trying to stay inshape.
And then, you know, we've alsogot the golf background.
We played a lot of golf togetherand, you know, we've had that
kind of had that connectionthere before.
And then fatherhood coming up aswell.
So we've kind of got that in a,in a sense of like, Hey, these
are the things we've, we've gonethrough or are getting ready to
go through.
(43:35):
There's been a lot of mistakesalong the way.
We can, we can kind of steer andget in different directions
based on things that we'veexperienced.
SPEAKER_00 (43:46):
Yeah, I'm excited to do it, and we've actually got
next week a special guest linedup that's going to be able to
share some of his story.
You know, I don't want to giveaway any of it, but during my
darkest time, just after thefast, I had those two mates that
(44:10):
really carried me through a lot,and And I just want to give them
a shout out.
I've asked for permission to doso.
You know, it's not everybody'sgoal to be on YouTube, but I did
want to specifically give them ashout out to Aaron, who pretty
much, you know, day in, day out,checked in on me and was there
for me and actually was, youknow, kind enough to come out
(44:31):
when I was in NorthernCalifornia and spend that time
with me.
And times were pretty rough andpretty dark there.
And he came out and spent sometime with me just to get me
through.
And he was, you know,instrumental in, you know, being
available.
So when I actually ended upgoing back to Roanoke, he let me
stay with him and we spent sometime together there going
(44:51):
through a lot and some real timeof prayer and meditation
together.
And so he was unbelievable inthat time of my life.
And the other time was a buddyof mine who literally carried me
through at times.
His name is Jamal.
I don't call him that.
I don't call either of those twopeople Aaron or Jamal, but
they've got nicknames as I giveto everybody.
(45:12):
But There's a lot of story withhim and what he did for me and
how he opened his home at thetime was not an easy thing to do
and have me there and literallywas with me for the last half of
my fast.
And the story of how we becamefriends and connected is an
amazing story too.
So those two guys were there forme day and night during that
(45:33):
time.
And I know for sure I would havenot made it or at least in this
conditional state.
but more than likely not made ithad I not had Aaron and Jamal
with me during that time.
And I'm very pumped, veryexcited.
I'm honored and I'm verygrateful to know that next week,
one of those guys is going to beon as our guest, you know,
sharing some of their journeys,maybe a few anecdotes of our
(45:56):
times together, but going to bean amazing story to hear from
them.
So I'm excited for you to be apart of that next week.
So yeah, thanks to those twoguys and one of them is
SPEAKER_02 (46:06):
with
SPEAKER_00 (46:06):
us
SPEAKER_02 (46:06):
next week.
That's going to be awesome.
I'm pumped for that.
It's going to be exciting tohave him on and hear a little
bit from his side of things.
I know he's got some otherstories that some folks are
going to be interested in aswell, so we're going to really
dive into all that.
Definitely tune in next week,guys.
Make sure you like, subscribe.
If you're on YouTube, give us alike, a subscribe on YouTube,
(46:29):
comment.
We love to hear from folks.
If you want to email us, askquestions, you're always welcome
to.
It's info.strengthtoovercome atgmail.com.
Remember, that's a two in thetitle there, not T-O, but the
number two.
And follow us on Facebook,Instagram.
You can find us, Strength toOvercome, on both of those.
Make sure you follow along.
(46:49):
Stay up to date.
Each Friday, we're releasing anew episode.
And like Matt said, we've gotsome amazing guests coming on
the show in the coming weeks.
And it's going to be exciting.
So, Matt, I'm pumped for it,brother.
SPEAKER_00 (47:03):
Yeah, looking forward to it.
And just to follow up on that,you know, really does mean a lot
to us when people check in, theywatch, they listen, and, you
know, they share it around.
You know, we do want to helppeople out there.
We genuinely try to, you know,find the best way to do that.
And so your support in makingthat happen is, you know, in
advance already reallyappreciated.
(47:23):
So thanks to everybody.
I want you guys to stay strongand just remember that you're
not alone.
SPEAKER_02 (47:28):
Thanks, guys.
We'll see you next Friday.
SPEAKER_00 (47:31):
Cheers.
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Have you ever wondered what life might be like if you stopped worrying about being wanted, and focused on understanding what you actually want? That was the question Hope Woodard asked herself after a string of situationships inspired her to take a break from sex and dating. She went "boysober," a personal concept that sparked a global movement among women looking to prioritize themselves over men. Now, Hope is looking to expand the ways we explore our relationship to relationships. Taking a bold, unfiltered look into modern love, romance, and self-discovery, Boysober will dive into messy stories about dating, sex, love, friendship, and breaking generational patterns—all with humor, vulnerability, and a fresh perspective.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.