September 26, 2024 • 33 mins
Ever witnessed a public display of affection turn into an unforgettable spectacle? Brace yourself as Blake and Chris recount a wild Tuesday evening where a couple, both with wedding rings, took PDA to new extremes at our airport bar. This jaw-dropping tale is just the beginning of our 10th annual episode of TFAB, Tales from an Airport Bar, where we share some of the most unpredictable and entertaining moments from our bartending days. From casual chats to explicit acts against a public wall, this story perfectly encapsulates the essence of airport bar life.
But there's more! Travel back with us to the pre-9/11 era, where lenient airport security set the stage for a chaotic shift involving a heartbroken, intoxicated soldier and two high-maintenance businessmen. We also delve into bizarre airport moments like a support donkey, a baby kangaroo, and a tragic escalator accident that reminds us of life's unpredictability and the importance of cherishing our loved ones. Join us for a rollercoaster of emotions, laughter, and heartfelt wishes for safe travels, capped off with a teaser for our exciting upcoming guest.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of T-Fab
Tales from an Airport Bar.
This is our 10th annual episode.
If you're just tuning in forthe first time, I'm Chris and
this is my esteemed co-host.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
My name is Jeff, Just kidding.
This is Balaka, your boy Blake.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
AKA Shake and Bake, aka El diablo and the magic man
we bartend at the fourth largestairport in the nation and, as
usual, we will be affectionatelyentertaining you with some
crazy ass stories we experienceevery day, on a daily basis
can't make this shit up, y'allum, today we are going to roll
(00:42):
without a guest and really kindof get back to our roots.
There's several stories we wouldstill love to share with you
today, so without further ado,let's roll right into this.
I want to hear about your story, blake.
(01:03):
I want to hear about your story, blake.
I would title it Fun with Dickand Jane the two people in the
corner.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Okay if we just want to swing for the fences you know
, first pitch of the game, notwaiting, okay.
All right, so we'll set themood here.
It was a Tuesday.
Tuesday is probably like 5.30in the afternoon.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And Tuesdays are typically pretty slow.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Well, you know, tuesdays never really excite
anybody, let's be honest.
They come after Mondays, Noteven at hump day yet, just
Tuesday.
Just no business travel Just aTuesday, but a Tuesday is always
a booze day at the airport, soit's like 5.30.
I think there are three of usbartenders on.
This was this was probably six,seven years ago.
(01:50):
Man, it's been a minute and um.
So you know we've got a fullbar, everybody's, you know, just
hanging out drinking, nothingtoo crazy going on.
And then, uh, this lady comesin um and you know most people
are just by themselves justtraveling for business.
There's no big groups at thebar or anything.
Nobody really knows anybody.
And this lady comes in, doeshave a wedding ring on You'll
(02:14):
figure out why later Comes inand you can always tell when
somebody's trying to get drinkspaid for, especially a girl.
Hey, no problem, it ain'ttricking.
If you got it, go get you thosefree drinks paid for,
especially a girl.
Hey, no problem, it ain'ttricking.
If you got it, go get you thosefree drinks, girl.
Those airport drinks are notcheap.
Every hour is happy, but theprices never are.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Everything's bigger in Texas, including the price.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yes, and the bill.
Anyway, she comes in, she'skind of bouncing around, she has
a seat.
But she's kind of bouncingaround, she, she has a seat, but
she kind of bouncing aroundtrying to see who will talk to
her and, uh, you know, she endsup going up to this guy.
He also has a wedding ring onand, um, oh, good time, nobody's
(02:57):
been over served yet.
So, uh, he's kind of like,leave me alone.
And she's like, okay.
And then I think maybe I don'tknow, they took some shots or
something.
You know, somebody bought shotsfor the bar or maybe just time
pass and his defenses get down alittle bit and she gets, he
lets her sit next to him, cool,okay.
(03:20):
30 minutes later they're makingout and you're like, okay, quit,
this is awkward, like you guyscan't just be full on making out
for five minutes.
Get a room.
It's like, okay, have somedecency, there's a family
restroom over there, anyway.
So 30 minutes later, clearlythey had been very cozy with
each other.
(03:40):
They had already been makingout after him doing the Heisman
on her when she first came inThey'd leave.
Okay, cool.
We're like, great, we don'thave to sit here and watch the
show anymore.
They'd leave.
Mind you, our airport, the wayour bar is set up.
We don't have walls.
There's an escalator, there's alounge, there's all sorts of
(04:04):
stuff, an exit, an entrance, afamily restroom.
You can see from the restaurantum there's also the the uh dog
restroom yeah, there's the dogrestroom which I have seen
people use uh, but that's adifferent story uh you can
actually see some of that onthat video.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
You posted the link.
Uh, when the piss and shit'sfalling from the ceiling, j.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yes, jesus Christ, but anyways.
So anyways.
They get out and you're justlike cool, they're leaving and
you think they're going to gotheir separate ways.
But there's a wall about Idon't know, 15 yards across from
the edge of our restaurant,which again you can see, and it
just has like a phone on it.
You know where you pick up atthe airport to you know talk to
(04:46):
the operator whatever you need.
Anyways, they only make it thatfar.
She gets him up against thewall.
So they're in that little nookby the end.
No, they're just up against thewall.
Out in the open, oh, Out in theopen, right up next to that
phone.
She gets him up against thewall, pulls his pants down and
just goes to town Just playingthe flute and she had a solo and
(05:13):
this happens for probably fiveminutes.
People, you know people arecoming down an escalator, so
hundreds of people are walkingby.
Some people are shocked, somepeople think it's hilarious,
some people walk up andhigh-five him, but no
authorities, nobody comes, theyfinish or don't finish, I don't
(05:35):
know, I wasn't the cameraman oranything, but they just he goes
up the escalator, she goes offthe other direction and probably
never to be seen again.
That was a Tuesday, so youshould see our Wednesday parties
.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Got the club blowing up.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
That's probably the craziest fucking thing I've ever
seen.
Just straight pulls his pantsdown and just blows them in the
middle of the terminal.
Okay, wow, straight pulls hispants down and just blows him in
the middle of the terminal.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
okay, wow, there's not really much you can say you
know, if we want to keep it on asexy theme.
Um, we talked about thisearlier, uh, when we were
pre-gaming for this episode.
Um, one of our regulars, j Love.
You were saying something thatJ Love is.
(06:31):
Well, he's a porn star.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Excuse me, yes, you might want to give a little bit
more of an introduction.
So they know.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Tatted from head to toe.
Nicest guy on the planet.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
About 6'5".
Looks like an NFL startinglinebacker.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
But the nicest fucking guy you'll ever meet.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah, excellent tipper, just a beautiful human
being.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Great person Bought his parents a house last time we
saw him.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, and he was going to pay.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
He wanted to pay for like a year's worth of
electricity, but the lady overthe phone, knew who he was and
wouldn't let him do it over thephone, so she made him come in
why?
Louisiana, which is why he'sflying through our terminal.
Yeah, these are all these smalllittle obscure places and these
little commuter, nobody elsecan get there.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Yeah, I guess.
Um, yeah, no, uh, love, love,love, love jay, love always tip
us a hundred dollars oh, everysingle time.
Yeah, excellent, excellent chrisblue c note um, oh, speaking of
which, um, just, uh, just just,probably about a week and a
(07:44):
half ago, there was a cliffsighting One of our regulars.
Just Good old cliff.
If I can explain a little bit,he wears the most insane plaid
suits.
They're always three-piecesuits, yeah, and he's always got
the loped out shades on, alwayshas a pocket square, yeah,
(08:07):
super well dressed.
Don't get me wrong, cliff,amazing.
So he comes in, like a week ago, week and a half ago, comes in,
comes right up to me and he'slike hey, chris, he's like you
still work here, man.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I was like, yeah, you still fly here man, and he was
like a regular when we firstopened.
Oh yeah, the first like five orsix years we were open.
We would see him twice a week.
Yeah, at least Come in, giveyou a $100 bill, say let's get
to partying.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Oh yeah, he would come in hand you a $100 bill and
you would go grab the Kettle,one bottle and say let's party.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Say how much You're kind of like the cheese grater
at Olive Garden, just tell mewhen.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
There's no rules.
You keep grating the cheese,please.
So he comes in and he's like,oh my gosh, you still work here.
And I was like yeah.
And he looks up and he's likethat box with my signature is
still on there.
And he's like, yeah, it is.
And I pull it down for him andhe looks at it and it says to
his love, uh, forget his wife'sname.
(09:05):
She was actually a Ralph Laurenpolo model in the eighties.
Um, and, like I said, he was adrummer for white snake.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
If I'm not mistaken.
I can't remember.
It's one of those eighties,prolific bands, and, and now he
gone but now he looks so hestill parties as hard, maybe
harder, I don't know.
But again, when we're talkingabout wearing three-piece suit
dress of the fucking nines youwouldn't be like oh, you were a
fucking rock star in the 80s.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Now he's doing multi-million dollar.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Well, but he also does grow-ups and stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Does real estate and grow-ups?
Yeah, all kinds of stuff.
You know that beautiful devil'slettuce?
Yeah, I'm sure he's got hishand in a couple of different.
Yeah, if I had to guess.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Speaking of celebrities, I don't think I
touched on this before.
When I first started like thefirst year, I was there.
Uh, when I first started likethe first year I was there um,
had a wee man, uh from Jackass.
Yeah, he comes in and he sitsat this little four top bar we
(10:14):
had called the art bar and, uh,I've explained this bar before
it's a little four top or it'sgot a four bar stool bar with a
deli case on the other side ofit with a cashier stand.
And then it's got these little,uh, it's got three little four
top tables or, excuse me, twolittle four top tables in there.
And, um, so he comes in youknow steady afternoon, whatever,
(10:41):
you know joints, packs,whatever comes in, sets on the
barstool and I'm bartending andjust has miller light bottle,
has three of them falls off thebarstool.
We have to call paramedics.
It was, he was just the nicestguy on the planet, just giggling
(11:01):
and having fun, but, oh my gosh, falls off the barstool.
They had to just check him out.
He was fine, he's no, no harm,no foul on his flight, and but
it was just hilarious, he was,he was cool shit, um.
And then, um, I wanted to talkabout, uh, the first week.
I remember the first week Istarted there had this soldier
(11:25):
and this was, you know, rightbefore September 11 2001.
And I'm sure once we have mybuddy john on he can kind of
collaborate the story.
But I remember we had thissoldier coming back from
overseas somewhere and hadgotten tipped off that and we
(11:47):
didn't know this.
So, and back then you couldcome and go in the airport as
you please.
Nobody gave a damn.
You know, if you were drunk itwould be a public in talks, it
wouldn't really the liabilitywouldn't necessarily fall back
on you.
They would let you fly if youwere drunk, whatever.
Everybody pretty much behavedthemselves.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
There was no real issues back then but we're just
getting done letting peoplesmoke on this this, this soldier
boy, all of probably my son'sage, who's off in the military
as well.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
He's you, know 22, 21 , 22.
He's married, has a baby.
He's coming home know 22, 21,22.
He's married, has a baby.
He's coming home to see uhhasn't seen his baby yet, but is
coming home to see his uh, hischild, for the first time, gets
tipped off that his wife issleeping with someone and um has
(12:43):
evidence of it and this andthat and is coming home to
divorce her and tell her off andget full custody of the baby
and go back overseas with thebaby, from what I understand.
And crazy.
And he proceeds to just getshit hammered.
(13:06):
And sure enough me and my buddytake him over to the gate agent
and explain what's going on.
And sure enough they put him onthe plane, put him in first
class, and sure enough he passesout in first class and I guess
he wakes up at home.
They do not bother you.
Once you get in first class anduh, sure enough he passes out
(13:27):
in first class and I guess hewakes up at home, do not bother
you once you get in first classyeah, but back then, you know,
things were a little morelenient.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
That would not fly, that would not, he would not fly
at all literally, but uh,literally would not fly, and um,
what a way to come home.
Holy shit, shit.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, no, you know you're out fighting for your
country.
I mean, if I don't know, Idon't think we had any,
necessarily any wars going on atthat time.
Now, right, after that?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah, right before and probably right after, yep.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Yeah, what about the cell phone that ended up in the
trash?
I think you know a little bitthat that ended up in the
bathroom when I was all sayingno more about that than I do all
right, I do remember twogentlemen coming up to the bar
and ordering waters which isyour favorite while we were we.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
This was a day where, so this is about five years ago
.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Balls to the wall.
Five, six years ago.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Too deep at the bar.
We're taking care of 40 peopleat least.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Oh yeah, it's nuts and it's packed, and everybody's
.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I want to say it was on a Sunday.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, exactly, football's on and these two guys
come in.
I know exactly what seatsthey're sitting in.
Two guys come in and I'll Iknow exactly what seats they're
sitting in.
Yep, and two guys come in andit was business guys, 19
probably, and we had a lot ofdelayed flights that day and um
no, actually it was uh wherewant to eat and I'm just like,
oh, just waters guys, and theguy just gets kind of pissy with
(15:15):
me, whatever the guy throws afit about it yeah, and I'm just
like okay and uh, so get themtheir water.
They they order some tacos.
Get them their water.
They order some tacos.
Get them some tacos.
I feel like they were alsosuper picky about their food.
Yeah, you know, just super highmaintenance, I remember, and
(15:36):
then proceeds to leave me apenny Was just a total douchebag
the whole time.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Just to be a douche, yes, yeah, and they got
everything that they needed.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Two businessmen sharp dress, you know, proceeds to
leave his iPhone at the bar andflights are delayed all day.
Leaves his phone at the barJust a total dick, I remember
and leaves his cell phone at thebar.
Nobody notices this but me.
(16:09):
I swipe his phone it just wastotal dick, I remember and
leaves his cell phone at the bar.
Nobody notices this but me.
I swipe his phone off the barwhen I'm cleaning up the plates
and I just toss his phone in thetrash yeah, you just went to
the back of the kitchen and justyeah, I scraped his plates and
there was scraped his phoneright into the trash and I don't
think I even know that any ofthis yeah, no
because we're just getting ourass kicked and I'm just so 10
(16:32):
minutes later, guy comes backand he's like hey, man, you see
my cell phone.
I was like I don't know youseen my tip?
And I was like no, I hadn'tseen your cell phone, buddy.
And he's like I know it's here,dude.
And I was like, bro, I haven'tseen your cell phone, keep up
with your stuff, I don't know.
And um, so he leaves all pissedand another 10 minutes later
(17:01):
comes back with the cops andhe's like I left my iphone here.
I have it on, find my iphone.
It shows it's in thisrestaurant.
Um, the cops like you know, letme see.
And it doesn't show that it'sbehind the bar.
And I'm like, man, we don'thave your phone, I don't know
(17:22):
where you left your phone, Idon't know what you did with
your shit.
He goes, I fucking know youhave my phone.
And starts wigging out in frontof the cop and the cop's like
hey, dude, you need to leave.
He's like they said they don'thave your phone, it's not here,
you need to, you need to keep upwith your stuff.
So he leaves, comes back like20 minutes later after that.
(17:48):
This is the third time now.
This is the third time.
He's like dude, I know you havemy phone.
He's like what do I gotta do?
He's like next time.
And I said if there's a nexttime for you, sir said next time
maybe you'll be better to yourbartender and not tip them a
penny, but what I suggest foryou?
(18:10):
He's like I know you have yourphone.
I said we both know I knowsomething, but here's the deal.
I suggest you check lost andfound.
Have a nice day.
And I said if you come back tothis restaurant again.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I'm going to call the .
I'm going to call the policethis time and he leaves, and so
I think the time before helooked at you and said something
like Chris, I'm going to getyou.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah, he's like, I'm going to.
I know you have it, I'm goingto get you.
Yes, I do.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
That was when he left with the police.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yeah, I vividly remember that part.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
And so, karma's sake, okay.
So at this point we're justballs to the wall busy, and my
anxiety is making just ADDhappen for me.
I can't focus on anything.
When shit like that happens,I'm all over the place.
Sure enough, I go get his phoneout of the trash in the kitchen
(19:08):
and go put it in the bathroomstall, like he had left it there
, just because, karma, I wantedit to get.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
it ended up in the lost and found at least be able
to retrieve it in the middle ofthat crazy fucking shift.
I was fucking let me tell youthat we did not have time to
deal with this shit.
No, let me fucking tell you.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
No.
So right after that a younglady comes in and she thinks
she's big shit and orders a beerand a shot of tequila.
And orders a beer and a shot oftequila.
She must have been all of like20, probably about my son's age
(19:56):
probably about 23, 24.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Has a beer and a shot .
Everybody's hanging out.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
She was probably about 90 pounds, yeah, and sure
enough, decides she's going tohave another shot.
She's had three drinks at thispoint, you know.
So she's a little shit hammered.
So we get her some chips andsalsa.
She gets to eat a little.
Beyond a little Five minutesafter we get her some chips and
(20:21):
salsa.
She's gone, dude, she's likefallen into another dimension,
this is the same day and we'rejust getting fucking killed.
We're so busy, like you said, Ithink we sold like 45, 5 grand
and um, and so I end up havingto walk this young lady to her
(20:42):
gate.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Not having to.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Choosing to, so choosing to.
It was the best thing we wantedto make sure she got on her
flight.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
It was the best thing for you.
Now, for me, it was the worstthing.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Again, she was not over-served, she just couldn't
handle her shit.
So we proceed to take her downto the satellite terminal to get
her on her plane not we.
I, I proceed to bartend and getmy face melted yes, well, I'm
gone for like 45 minutes an hourtrying to take care of this
young lady.
So we get her walk down there,no problem.
(21:16):
She goes to the bathroom.
She decides to go in the familybathroom and lock the door in
there.
She's in there for fucking ever.
Then she finally lets me in andshe's just slobber knocked like
she can't sober up for shit.
So I waited out with heranother 15, 20 minutes.
(21:37):
I get her some water.
I waited out with her another15, 20 minutes.
I get her some water.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Sure enough, we get her over to the gate where she's
supposed to fly out of and gether set up straight.
I'm having an out-of-bodyexperience trying to barge.
I'm just watching.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I'm floating above myself watching myself barge in
at this point, so I finally makeit back.
He's still getting slammed.
I walk in.
We finish up the shift.
Well, there is a little bardown the way from us that's
associated with us, that we own,and what do we know?
Here comes the bartender.
This is after close.
(22:16):
Here comes that bartender toturn in their money with the
drunk girl.
Jesus Ends up.
Lindsay ends up helping get herto a hotel room.
The airport had gotten her ahotel room for the night and
(22:37):
Lindsay got her to a hotel roomand evidently she flew out the
next day, jesus Christ.
But all in that same shift wasabsolutely the crazy, most
chaotic shift.
Yes, and you took the brunt ofit.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
If Chris had not returned within 30, if he had
returned 30 seconds later, Iwouldn't work at the airport
anymore.
It was one of those days I wasgone.
It felt like D-Day.
I was in the foxhole.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Every second just felt like it was just ticking by
.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I was like he's got to come back.
He's got to come back soon,he's got to come back soon.
It's just people you know youcan imagine.
So we already probably had 40people were taken care of mine.
You only have 22 seats.
People are just swarming.
The second someone gets up,they're pushing their dirty
fajita skillet to you and saylet's party oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
we've been talking about it so much, lady, lately,
but it's so true that if youcould have one seat out of the
22 23 seats at the bar, youcould have one seat out of the
22, 23 seats at the bar.
You could have one seat that'sdirty, empty restaurant.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
And only two people sitting at the bar.
Yeah, and someone will walk inand sit at the only dirty spot
at the bar, there'll be 18 seatsthat are open, and clean.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
They're like, oh, somebody's going to get the seat
warmed up for me.
I don't know man, I don't knowwhat it is, it's just craziness.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
There's some sort of witchcraft or black magic going
on, that it's some sort of lawof attraction that no matter
what, they're going to go rightto the dirty seat.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
It's like a couple weeks back, excuse me, a couple
months back I had, like what?
Seven Davids sitting at the barat the same time.
Well, that's another thing thathappens.
The same names sit next to eachother, or you know like, like I
said, the crazy, but it's likenot even common names.
It's like sebastian will besitting down in a chair, he'll
(24:33):
get up, and then sebastian willsit right behind him another
sebastian, will sit right downin the same damn chair.
Are you kidding me?
No, it's just like it's nuts,or it's just like um, just like
what is it?
I had two jasmines the otherday sat down right next to each
other I had.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I had two carls, but the first one was a guy and the
second one was an older lady oh,no, no, no, no, it was dale
dale.
Okay, I was like it was, I wasthere, dale.
Yeah, there was a dale sittingand I was like and then a lady
named dale sat down in the samedamn seat an old lady named dale
.
I've never seen that before,but I was like, okay, well, dale
just sat here, that's it wascrazy that we had a lady, no
(25:14):
matter that was alreadyinteresting enough.
And then, yeah, she sat in thesame fucking seat, just like she
knew dale was.
It's like all the Dales areconnected.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
It's just.
And then you know, and we seethis every single, it's not.
I mean, it's every single day.
I play the name game everyshift.
It's like that every single day.
It's crazy.
Speaking of more craziness, youweren't there for this, but, um
, and I think we might'vetouched on this, but some lady
(25:50):
was walking through.
This was years ago.
This is probably seven, six,seven, eight years ago.
Lady was coming through, andhow I can confirm this?
Everybody can go back andgoogle search this and look it
up.
Um, lady comes through with afreaking support.
(26:11):
Donkey has to buy the donkeyits own row of seats in order to
travel with.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I don't even know how the donkey would fit on the
plane.
How do you?
Because it's so narrow he hecouldn't stand there, he
couldn't sit there.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
So pulling this donkey with a leash type thing,
but it's got a blanket over itsback that says support donkey
and I'm not bullshitting you.
So because the very next daythey've got footage of I guess
(26:43):
she was flying to LA.
They've got footage of thisperson I believe it was a, she
Don't quote me on that, but theyhave footage of this person the
next day because I saw it onTMZ Flying into LA airport with
the support donkey.
Crazy as shit.
I've seen kangaroos.
I've seen all kinds of animalsat the bar, um, or in the
(27:07):
restaurants, but never afreaking kangaroo in the airport
.
I swear to god somebody had ababy kangaroo, baby kangaroo was
flying through.
That's crazy.
I swear to god, I'm notbullshitting, okay.
Um, I feel like that's weirderthan a donkey.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
That was actually early 2000s, uh, when I saw the
kangaroo it'd be cool as shit tosee it, but yeah, like that
sounds weirder to me than adonkey, yeah, uh, yeah, a baby
kangaroo, um little tiny thing.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Um, I'm sure they were flying to some zoo or
something.
I don't, I have no clue.
Um, I can't even elaborate onthat.
Um, so, yeah, some craziness,some good times at the airport.
Um, um, there is one story Iwant to tell that is very, very
(28:04):
interesting.
So this was years ago beforeand it happened on the same
escalator where we work now.
Years ago I worked over in theE Big escalator that goes up to
the train.
I worked over in the d terminaland, well, at this time I think
(28:25):
I was actually in the e terminalworking and we did, uh, they
had a little uh tim loves likesection inside this, like little
uh what like 7-ele uh storethey had, which was actually in
the location, I believe, wherewe're at now, which Tim, love is
(28:46):
a bad-ass show.
Yeah, well, we did some um uhlike cold, uh, prep work for
those particular items that wewould deliver over on a little
cart on the Skylink which theydon't allow that anymore over to
(29:10):
this little 7-Eleven type shopthat our company owned to fill
it with all these Tim Love items.
So I drop off these items, I goon the Skylink, drop off these
items and sure enough, uh, sureenough, I'm going up the
escalator same escalator wherewe work now and, um, there's a
lady in front of me and sureenough, she's all the way at the
(29:33):
top of the escalator.
Um, she goes to step off thelast step of the escalator and
her bag wheels kind of catch thelast step of the escalator and
her bag wheels kind of catch.
She trips over her bag, hitsher head and proceeds to bleed
out like a pool of bloodeverywhere on the floor.
(29:54):
I'm the only one around, um, I,uh, I just in shock and do have
a medical assistance degree.
I know a thing or two, um,especially about first aid, but
nothing.
This catastrophic Um, and she'sunconscious and I didn't, you
(30:17):
know, I didn't want to choke her, choking on her blood, I didn't
know if I should roll her over,what I should do.
I'm just screaming for help atthis point and there's no one
around.
All of a sudden, train stops,lets out, it's there's a nurse
convention in town.
All these nurses push me out ofthe way and just take over,
(30:40):
because I'm sitting therescreaming bloody murder.
They flip her over, a lady, anurse pulls a defibrillator off
the wall and revives this ladyback to life.
And I just remember theparamedics taking forever, like
15.
It took probably 10 minutes forthe paramedics to get there and
(31:03):
it felt like an eternity and Iremember.
So there's one elevator on oneside and this is upstairs by the
Skylink and there's an elevatoron the other end.
We're on the opposite end ofthe elevator where the EMTs are
coming off of, and I justremember all those nurses
screaming hurry up, hurry thefuck up, she's dying.
(31:28):
And, um, sure enough, I read inthe uh, the uh paper affiliate
for the airport the next weekthat, uh, she never made it to
the hospital.
She passed on the way to thehospital.
(31:48):
She lost too much blood, holycow.
Yeah, now that is probably,hands down, the most insane
thing I've seen at the airport,maybe just in general.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Yeah, maybe airport even exists.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So I wanted to get that one off my chest.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
That is probably the most absolute terrifying thing
I've ever seen at the airport.
Well, you're just kind ofhelpless.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Yeah, she is too.
Obviously.
It's just like but just to just, you know, just, you never know
when your time is going to be.
Just a trip over your suitcase,you know, and in such a manner,
um yeah, so um, anyways, checkon those people you love, tell
them what up.
(32:42):
That's why I always say safetravels.
Yes, I sincerely mean that.
I want everybody to travel safe, Except for I may not want your
cell phone to travel safe.
We said people so yeah.
We said people so yeah.
But, guys, that's going to wrapit up for this 10th episode of
(33:07):
Tales from an Airport Bar.
Thank you, guys.
So much for tuning in.
We will be back in two Tuesdaysfrom now with a super, super
fabulous guest.
So please tune in, Support theshow.
If you like what you'relistening to, download it,
follow us and you know we won'tbullshit you.
(33:32):
Send all the money you want tosend.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Show us the money.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Alright, guys, we'll see you next week.
Peace.
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of T-Fab
Tales from an Airport Bar.
This is our 10th annual episode.
If you're just tuning in forthe first time, I'm Chris and
this is my esteemed co-host.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
My name is Jeff, Just kidding.
This is Balaka, your boy Blake.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
AKA Shake and Bake, aka El diablo and the magic man
we bartend at the fourth largestairport in the nation and, as
usual, we will be affectionatelyentertaining you with some
crazy ass stories we experienceevery day, on a daily basis
can't make this shit up, y'allum, today we are going to roll
(00:42):
without a guest and really kindof get back to our roots.
There's several stories we wouldstill love to share with you
today, so without further ado,let's roll right into this.
I want to hear about your story, blake.
(01:03):
I want to hear about your story, blake.
I would title it Fun with Dickand Jane the two people in the
corner.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Okay if we just want to swing for the fences you know
, first pitch of the game, notwaiting, okay.
All right, so we'll set themood here.
It was a Tuesday.
Tuesday is probably like 5.30in the afternoon.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And Tuesdays are typically pretty slow.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Well, you know, tuesdays never really excite
anybody, let's be honest.
They come after Mondays, Noteven at hump day yet, just
Tuesday.
Just no business travel Just aTuesday, but a Tuesday is always
a booze day at the airport, soit's like 5.30.
I think there are three of usbartenders on.
This was this was probably six,seven years ago.
(01:50):
Man, it's been a minute and um.
So you know we've got a fullbar, everybody's, you know, just
hanging out drinking, nothingtoo crazy going on.
And then, uh, this lady comesin um and you know most people
are just by themselves justtraveling for business.
There's no big groups at thebar or anything.
Nobody really knows anybody.
And this lady comes in, doeshave a wedding ring on You'll
(02:14):
figure out why later Comes inand you can always tell when
somebody's trying to get drinkspaid for, especially a girl.
Hey, no problem, it ain'ttricking.
If you got it, go get you thosefree drinks paid for,
especially a girl.
Hey, no problem, it ain'ttricking.
If you got it, go get you thosefree drinks, girl.
Those airport drinks are notcheap.
Every hour is happy, but theprices never are.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Everything's bigger in Texas, including the price.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yes, and the bill.
Anyway, she comes in, she'skind of bouncing around, she has
a seat.
But she's kind of bouncingaround, she, she has a seat, but
she kind of bouncing aroundtrying to see who will talk to
her and, uh, you know, she endsup going up to this guy.
He also has a wedding ring onand, um, oh, good time, nobody's
(02:57):
been over served yet.
So, uh, he's kind of like,leave me alone.
And she's like, okay.
And then I think maybe I don'tknow, they took some shots or
something.
You know, somebody bought shotsfor the bar or maybe just time
pass and his defenses get down alittle bit and she gets, he
lets her sit next to him, cool,okay.
(03:20):
30 minutes later they're makingout and you're like, okay, quit,
this is awkward, like you guyscan't just be full on making out
for five minutes.
Get a room.
It's like, okay, have somedecency, there's a family
restroom over there, anyway.
So 30 minutes later, clearlythey had been very cozy with
each other.
(03:40):
They had already been makingout after him doing the Heisman
on her when she first came inThey'd leave.
Okay, cool.
We're like, great, we don'thave to sit here and watch the
show anymore.
They'd leave.
Mind you, our airport, the wayour bar is set up.
We don't have walls.
There's an escalator, there's alounge, there's all sorts of
(04:04):
stuff, an exit, an entrance, afamily restroom.
You can see from the restaurantum there's also the the uh dog
restroom yeah, there's the dogrestroom which I have seen
people use uh, but that's adifferent story uh you can
actually see some of that onthat video.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
You posted the link.
Uh, when the piss and shit'sfalling from the ceiling, j.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yes, jesus Christ, but anyways.
So anyways.
They get out and you're justlike cool, they're leaving and
you think they're going to gotheir separate ways.
But there's a wall about Idon't know, 15 yards across from
the edge of our restaurant,which again you can see, and it
just has like a phone on it.
You know where you pick up atthe airport to you know talk to
(04:46):
the operator whatever you need.
Anyways, they only make it thatfar.
She gets him up against thewall.
So they're in that little nookby the end.
No, they're just up against thewall.
Out in the open, oh, Out in theopen, right up next to that
phone.
She gets him up against thewall, pulls his pants down and
just goes to town Just playingthe flute and she had a solo and
(05:13):
this happens for probably fiveminutes.
People, you know people arecoming down an escalator, so
hundreds of people are walkingby.
Some people are shocked, somepeople think it's hilarious,
some people walk up andhigh-five him, but no
authorities, nobody comes, theyfinish or don't finish, I don't
(05:35):
know, I wasn't the cameraman oranything, but they just he goes
up the escalator, she goes offthe other direction and probably
never to be seen again.
That was a Tuesday, so youshould see our Wednesday parties
.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Got the club blowing up.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
That's probably the craziest fucking thing I've ever
seen.
Just straight pulls his pantsdown and just blows them in the
middle of the terminal.
Okay, wow, straight pulls hispants down and just blows him in
the middle of the terminal.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
okay, wow, there's not really much you can say you
know, if we want to keep it on asexy theme.
Um, we talked about thisearlier, uh, when we were
pre-gaming for this episode.
Um, one of our regulars, j Love.
You were saying something thatJ Love is.
(06:31):
Well, he's a porn star.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Excuse me, yes, you might want to give a little bit
more of an introduction.
So they know.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Tatted from head to toe.
Nicest guy on the planet.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
About 6'5".
Looks like an NFL startinglinebacker.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
But the nicest fucking guy you'll ever meet.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah, excellent tipper, just a beautiful human
being.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Great person Bought his parents a house last time we
saw him.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, and he was going to pay.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
He wanted to pay for like a year's worth of
electricity, but the lady overthe phone, knew who he was and
wouldn't let him do it over thephone, so she made him come in
why?
Louisiana, which is why he'sflying through our terminal.
Yeah, these are all these smalllittle obscure places and these
little commuter, nobody elsecan get there.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Yeah, I guess.
Um, yeah, no, uh, love, love,love, love jay, love always tip
us a hundred dollars oh, everysingle time.
Yeah, excellent, excellent chrisblue c note um, oh, speaking of
which, um, just, uh, just just,probably about a week and a
(07:44):
half ago, there was a cliffsighting One of our regulars.
Just Good old cliff.
If I can explain a little bit,he wears the most insane plaid
suits.
They're always three-piecesuits, yeah, and he's always got
the loped out shades on, alwayshas a pocket square, yeah,
(08:07):
super well dressed.
Don't get me wrong, cliff,amazing.
So he comes in, like a week ago, week and a half ago, comes in,
comes right up to me and he'slike hey, chris, he's like you
still work here, man.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I was like, yeah, you still fly here man, and he was
like a regular when we firstopened.
Oh yeah, the first like five orsix years we were open.
We would see him twice a week.
Yeah, at least Come in, giveyou a $100 bill, say let's get
to partying.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Oh yeah, he would come in hand you a $100 bill and
you would go grab the Kettle,one bottle and say let's party.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Say how much You're kind of like the cheese grater
at Olive Garden, just tell mewhen.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
There's no rules.
You keep grating the cheese,please.
So he comes in and he's like,oh my gosh, you still work here.
And I was like yeah.
And he looks up and he's likethat box with my signature is
still on there.
And he's like, yeah, it is.
And I pull it down for him andhe looks at it and it says to
his love, uh, forget his wife'sname.
(09:05):
She was actually a Ralph Laurenpolo model in the eighties.
Um, and, like I said, he was adrummer for white snake.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
If I'm not mistaken.
I can't remember.
It's one of those eighties,prolific bands, and, and now he
gone but now he looks so hestill parties as hard, maybe
harder, I don't know.
But again, when we're talkingabout wearing three-piece suit
dress of the fucking nines youwouldn't be like oh, you were a
fucking rock star in the 80s.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Now he's doing multi-million dollar.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Well, but he also does grow-ups and stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Does real estate and grow-ups?
Yeah, all kinds of stuff.
You know that beautiful devil'slettuce?
Yeah, I'm sure he's got hishand in a couple of different.
Yeah, if I had to guess.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Speaking of celebrities, I don't think I
touched on this before.
When I first started like thefirst year, I was there.
Uh, when I first started likethe first year I was there um,
had a wee man, uh from Jackass.
Yeah, he comes in and he sitsat this little four top bar we
(10:14):
had called the art bar and, uh,I've explained this bar before
it's a little four top or it'sgot a four bar stool bar with a
deli case on the other side ofit with a cashier stand.
And then it's got these little,uh, it's got three little four
top tables or, excuse me, twolittle four top tables in there.
And, um, so he comes in youknow steady afternoon, whatever,
(10:41):
you know joints, packs,whatever comes in, sets on the
barstool and I'm bartending andjust has miller light bottle,
has three of them falls off thebarstool.
We have to call paramedics.
It was, he was just the nicestguy on the planet, just giggling
(11:01):
and having fun, but, oh my gosh, falls off the barstool.
They had to just check him out.
He was fine, he's no, no harm,no foul on his flight, and but
it was just hilarious, he was,he was cool shit, um.
And then, um, I wanted to talkabout, uh, the first week.
I remember the first week Istarted there had this soldier
(11:25):
and this was, you know, rightbefore September 11 2001.
And I'm sure once we have mybuddy john on he can kind of
collaborate the story.
But I remember we had thissoldier coming back from
overseas somewhere and hadgotten tipped off that and we
(11:47):
didn't know this.
So, and back then you couldcome and go in the airport as
you please.
Nobody gave a damn.
You know, if you were drunk itwould be a public in talks, it
wouldn't really the liabilitywouldn't necessarily fall back
on you.
They would let you fly if youwere drunk, whatever.
Everybody pretty much behavedthemselves.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
There was no real issues back then but we're just
getting done letting peoplesmoke on this this, this soldier
boy, all of probably my son'sage, who's off in the military
as well.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
He's you, know 22, 21 , 22.
He's married, has a baby.
He's coming home know 22, 21,22.
He's married, has a baby.
He's coming home to see uhhasn't seen his baby yet, but is
coming home to see his uh, hischild, for the first time, gets
tipped off that his wife issleeping with someone and um has
(12:43):
evidence of it and this andthat and is coming home to
divorce her and tell her off andget full custody of the baby
and go back overseas with thebaby, from what I understand.
And crazy.
And he proceeds to just getshit hammered.
(13:06):
And sure enough me and my buddytake him over to the gate agent
and explain what's going on.
And sure enough they put him onthe plane, put him in first
class, and sure enough he passesout in first class and I guess
he wakes up at home.
They do not bother you.
Once you get in first class anduh, sure enough he passes out
(13:27):
in first class and I guess hewakes up at home, do not bother
you once you get in first classyeah, but back then, you know,
things were a little morelenient.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
That would not fly, that would not, he would not fly
at all literally, but uh,literally would not fly, and um,
what a way to come home.
Holy shit, shit.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, no, you know you're out fighting for your
country.
I mean, if I don't know, Idon't think we had any,
necessarily any wars going on atthat time.
Now, right, after that?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah, right before and probably right after, yep.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Yeah, what about the cell phone that ended up in the
trash?
I think you know a little bitthat that ended up in the
bathroom when I was all sayingno more about that than I do all
right, I do remember twogentlemen coming up to the bar
and ordering waters which isyour favorite while we were we.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
This was a day where, so this is about five years ago
.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Balls to the wall.
Five, six years ago.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Too deep at the bar.
We're taking care of 40 peopleat least.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Oh yeah, it's nuts and it's packed, and everybody's
.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I want to say it was on a Sunday.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, exactly, football's on and these two guys
come in.
I know exactly what seatsthey're sitting in.
Two guys come in and I'll Iknow exactly what seats they're
sitting in.
Yep, and two guys come in andit was business guys, 19
probably, and we had a lot ofdelayed flights that day and um
no, actually it was uh wherewant to eat and I'm just like,
oh, just waters guys, and theguy just gets kind of pissy with
(15:15):
me, whatever the guy throws afit about it yeah, and I'm just
like okay and uh, so get themtheir water.
They they order some tacos.
Get them their water.
They order some tacos.
Get them some tacos.
I feel like they were alsosuper picky about their food.
Yeah, you know, just super highmaintenance, I remember, and
(15:36):
then proceeds to leave me apenny Was just a total douchebag
the whole time.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Just to be a douche, yes, yeah, and they got
everything that they needed.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Two businessmen sharp dress, you know, proceeds to
leave his iPhone at the bar andflights are delayed all day.
Leaves his phone at the barJust a total dick, I remember
and leaves his cell phone at thebar.
Nobody notices this but me.
(16:09):
I swipe his phone it just wastotal dick, I remember and
leaves his cell phone at the bar.
Nobody notices this but me.
I swipe his phone off the barwhen I'm cleaning up the plates
and I just toss his phone in thetrash yeah, you just went to
the back of the kitchen and justyeah, I scraped his plates and
there was scraped his phoneright into the trash and I don't
think I even know that any ofthis yeah, no
because we're just getting ourass kicked and I'm just so 10
(16:32):
minutes later, guy comes backand he's like hey, man, you see
my cell phone.
I was like I don't know youseen my tip?
And I was like no, I hadn'tseen your cell phone, buddy.
And he's like I know it's here,dude.
And I was like, bro, I haven'tseen your cell phone, keep up
with your stuff, I don't know.
And um, so he leaves all pissedand another 10 minutes later
(17:01):
comes back with the cops andhe's like I left my iphone here.
I have it on, find my iphone.
It shows it's in thisrestaurant.
Um, the cops like you know, letme see.
And it doesn't show that it'sbehind the bar.
And I'm like, man, we don'thave your phone, I don't know
(17:22):
where you left your phone, Idon't know what you did with
your shit.
He goes, I fucking know youhave my phone.
And starts wigging out in frontof the cop and the cop's like
hey, dude, you need to leave.
He's like they said they don'thave your phone, it's not here,
you need to, you need to keep upwith your stuff.
So he leaves, comes back like20 minutes later after that.
(17:48):
This is the third time now.
This is the third time.
He's like dude, I know you havemy phone.
He's like what do I gotta do?
He's like next time.
And I said if there's a nexttime for you, sir said next time
maybe you'll be better to yourbartender and not tip them a
penny, but what I suggest foryou?
(18:10):
He's like I know you have yourphone.
I said we both know I knowsomething, but here's the deal.
I suggest you check lost andfound.
Have a nice day.
And I said if you come back tothis restaurant again.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I'm going to call the .
I'm going to call the policethis time and he leaves, and so
I think the time before helooked at you and said something
like Chris, I'm going to getyou.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah, he's like, I'm going to.
I know you have it, I'm goingto get you.
Yes, I do.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
That was when he left with the police.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yeah, I vividly remember that part.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
And so, karma's sake, okay.
So at this point we're justballs to the wall busy, and my
anxiety is making just ADDhappen for me.
I can't focus on anything.
When shit like that happens,I'm all over the place.
Sure enough, I go get his phoneout of the trash in the kitchen
(19:08):
and go put it in the bathroomstall, like he had left it there
, just because, karma, I wantedit to get.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
it ended up in the lost and found at least be able
to retrieve it in the middle ofthat crazy fucking shift.
I was fucking let me tell youthat we did not have time to
deal with this shit.
No, let me fucking tell you.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
No.
So right after that a younglady comes in and she thinks
she's big shit and orders a beerand a shot of tequila.
And orders a beer and a shot oftequila.
She must have been all of like20, probably about my son's age
(19:56):
probably about 23, 24.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Has a beer and a shot .
Everybody's hanging out.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
She was probably about 90 pounds, yeah, and sure
enough, decides she's going tohave another shot.
She's had three drinks at thispoint, you know.
So she's a little shit hammered.
So we get her some chips andsalsa.
She gets to eat a little.
Beyond a little Five minutesafter we get her some chips and
(20:21):
salsa.
She's gone, dude, she's likefallen into another dimension,
this is the same day and we'rejust getting fucking killed.
We're so busy, like you said, Ithink we sold like 45, 5 grand
and um, and so I end up havingto walk this young lady to her
(20:42):
gate.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Not having to.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Choosing to, so choosing to.
It was the best thing we wantedto make sure she got on her
flight.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
It was the best thing for you.
Now, for me, it was the worstthing.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Again, she was not over-served, she just couldn't
handle her shit.
So we proceed to take her downto the satellite terminal to get
her on her plane not we.
I, I proceed to bartend and getmy face melted yes, well, I'm
gone for like 45 minutes an hourtrying to take care of this
young lady.
So we get her walk down there,no problem.
(21:16):
She goes to the bathroom.
She decides to go in the familybathroom and lock the door in
there.
She's in there for fucking ever.
Then she finally lets me in andshe's just slobber knocked like
she can't sober up for shit.
So I waited out with heranother 15, 20 minutes.
(21:37):
I get her some water.
I waited out with her another15, 20 minutes.
I get her some water.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Sure enough, we get her over to the gate where she's
supposed to fly out of and gether set up straight.
I'm having an out-of-bodyexperience trying to barge.
I'm just watching.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I'm floating above myself watching myself barge in
at this point, so I finally makeit back.
He's still getting slammed.
I walk in.
We finish up the shift.
Well, there is a little bardown the way from us that's
associated with us, that we own,and what do we know?
Here comes the bartender.
This is after close.
(22:16):
Here comes that bartender toturn in their money with the
drunk girl.
Jesus Ends up.
Lindsay ends up helping get herto a hotel room.
The airport had gotten her ahotel room for the night and
(22:37):
Lindsay got her to a hotel roomand evidently she flew out the
next day, jesus Christ.
But all in that same shift wasabsolutely the crazy, most
chaotic shift.
Yes, and you took the brunt ofit.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
If Chris had not returned within 30, if he had
returned 30 seconds later, Iwouldn't work at the airport
anymore.
It was one of those days I wasgone.
It felt like D-Day.
I was in the foxhole.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Every second just felt like it was just ticking by
.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I was like he's got to come back.
He's got to come back soon,he's got to come back soon.
It's just people you know youcan imagine.
So we already probably had 40people were taken care of mine.
You only have 22 seats.
People are just swarming.
The second someone gets up,they're pushing their dirty
fajita skillet to you and saylet's party oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
we've been talking about it so much, lady, lately,
but it's so true that if youcould have one seat out of the
22 23 seats at the bar, youcould have one seat out of the
22, 23 seats at the bar.
You could have one seat that'sdirty, empty restaurant.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
And only two people sitting at the bar.
Yeah, and someone will walk inand sit at the only dirty spot
at the bar, there'll be 18 seatsthat are open, and clean.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
They're like, oh, somebody's going to get the seat
warmed up for me.
I don't know man, I don't knowwhat it is, it's just craziness.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
There's some sort of witchcraft or black magic going
on, that it's some sort of lawof attraction that no matter
what, they're going to go rightto the dirty seat.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
It's like a couple weeks back, excuse me, a couple
months back I had, like what?
Seven Davids sitting at the barat the same time.
Well, that's another thing thathappens.
The same names sit next to eachother, or you know like, like I
said, the crazy, but it's likenot even common names.
It's like sebastian will besitting down in a chair, he'll
(24:33):
get up, and then sebastian willsit right behind him another
sebastian, will sit right downin the same damn chair.
Are you kidding me?
No, it's just like it's nuts,or it's just like um, just like
what is it?
I had two jasmines the otherday sat down right next to each
other I had.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I had two carls, but the first one was a guy and the
second one was an older lady oh,no, no, no, no, it was dale
dale.
Okay, I was like it was, I wasthere, dale.
Yeah, there was a dale sittingand I was like and then a lady
named dale sat down in the samedamn seat an old lady named dale
.
I've never seen that before,but I was like, okay, well, dale
just sat here, that's it wascrazy that we had a lady, no
(25:14):
matter that was alreadyinteresting enough.
And then, yeah, she sat in thesame fucking seat, just like she
knew dale was.
It's like all the Dales areconnected.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
It's just.
And then you know, and we seethis every single, it's not.
I mean, it's every single day.
I play the name game everyshift.
It's like that every single day.
It's crazy.
Speaking of more craziness, youweren't there for this, but, um
, and I think we might'vetouched on this, but some lady
(25:50):
was walking through.
This was years ago.
This is probably seven, six,seven, eight years ago.
Lady was coming through, andhow I can confirm this?
Everybody can go back andgoogle search this and look it
up.
Um, lady comes through with afreaking support.
(26:11):
Donkey has to buy the donkeyits own row of seats in order to
travel with.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I don't even know how the donkey would fit on the
plane.
How do you?
Because it's so narrow he hecouldn't stand there, he
couldn't sit there.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
So pulling this donkey with a leash type thing,
but it's got a blanket over itsback that says support donkey
and I'm not bullshitting you.
So because the very next daythey've got footage of I guess
(26:43):
she was flying to LA.
They've got footage of thisperson I believe it was a, she
Don't quote me on that, but theyhave footage of this person the
next day because I saw it onTMZ Flying into LA airport with
the support donkey.
Crazy as shit.
I've seen kangaroos.
I've seen all kinds of animalsat the bar, um, or in the
(27:07):
restaurants, but never afreaking kangaroo in the airport
.
I swear to god somebody had ababy kangaroo, baby kangaroo was
flying through.
That's crazy.
I swear to god, I'm notbullshitting, okay.
Um, I feel like that's weirderthan a donkey.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
That was actually early 2000s, uh, when I saw the
kangaroo it'd be cool as shit tosee it, but yeah, like that
sounds weirder to me than adonkey, yeah, uh, yeah, a baby
kangaroo, um little tiny thing.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Um, I'm sure they were flying to some zoo or
something.
I don't, I have no clue.
Um, I can't even elaborate onthat.
Um, so, yeah, some craziness,some good times at the airport.
Um, um, there is one story Iwant to tell that is very, very
(28:04):
interesting.
So this was years ago beforeand it happened on the same
escalator where we work now.
Years ago I worked over in theE Big escalator that goes up to
the train.
I worked over in the d terminaland, well, at this time I think
(28:25):
I was actually in the e terminalworking and we did, uh, they
had a little uh tim loves likesection inside this, like little
uh what like 7-ele uh storethey had, which was actually in
the location, I believe, wherewe're at now, which Tim, love is
(28:46):
a bad-ass show.
Yeah, well, we did some um uhlike cold, uh, prep work for
those particular items that wewould deliver over on a little
cart on the Skylink which theydon't allow that anymore over to
(29:10):
this little 7-Eleven type shopthat our company owned to fill
it with all these Tim Love items.
So I drop off these items, I goon the Skylink, drop off these
items and sure enough, uh, sureenough, I'm going up the
escalator same escalator wherewe work now and, um, there's a
lady in front of me and sureenough, she's all the way at the
(29:33):
top of the escalator.
Um, she goes to step off thelast step of the escalator and
her bag wheels kind of catch thelast step of the escalator and
her bag wheels kind of catch.
She trips over her bag, hitsher head and proceeds to bleed
out like a pool of bloodeverywhere on the floor.
(29:54):
I'm the only one around, um, I,uh, I just in shock and do have
a medical assistance degree.
I know a thing or two, um,especially about first aid, but
nothing.
This catastrophic Um, and she'sunconscious and I didn't, you
(30:17):
know, I didn't want to choke her, choking on her blood, I didn't
know if I should roll her over,what I should do.
I'm just screaming for help atthis point and there's no one
around.
All of a sudden, train stops,lets out, it's there's a nurse
convention in town.
All these nurses push me out ofthe way and just take over,
(30:40):
because I'm sitting therescreaming bloody murder.
They flip her over, a lady, anurse pulls a defibrillator off
the wall and revives this ladyback to life.
And I just remember theparamedics taking forever, like
15.
It took probably 10 minutes forthe paramedics to get there and
(31:03):
it felt like an eternity and Iremember.
So there's one elevator on oneside and this is upstairs by the
Skylink and there's an elevatoron the other end.
We're on the opposite end ofthe elevator where the EMTs are
coming off of, and I justremember all those nurses
screaming hurry up, hurry thefuck up, she's dying.
(31:28):
And, um, sure enough, I read inthe uh, the uh paper affiliate
for the airport the next weekthat, uh, she never made it to
the hospital.
She passed on the way to thehospital.
(31:48):
She lost too much blood, holycow.
Yeah, now that is probably,hands down, the most insane
thing I've seen at the airport,maybe just in general.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Yeah, maybe airport even exists.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So I wanted to get that one off my chest.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
That is probably the most absolute terrifying thing
I've ever seen at the airport.
Well, you're just kind ofhelpless.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Yeah, she is too.
Obviously.
It's just like but just to just, you know, just, you never know
when your time is going to be.
Just a trip over your suitcase,you know, and in such a manner,
um yeah, so um, anyways, checkon those people you love, tell
them what up.
(32:42):
That's why I always say safetravels.
Yes, I sincerely mean that.
I want everybody to travel safe, Except for I may not want your
cell phone to travel safe.
We said people so yeah.
We said people so yeah.
But, guys, that's going to wrapit up for this 10th episode of
(33:07):
Tales from an Airport Bar.
Thank you, guys.
So much for tuning in.
We will be back in two Tuesdaysfrom now with a super, super
fabulous guest.
So please tune in, Support theshow.
If you like what you'relistening to, download it,
follow us and you know we won'tbullshit you.
(33:32):
Send all the money you want tosend.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Show us the money.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Alright, guys, we'll see you next week.
Peace.
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