Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome back to the couches.
As always, this is your host.
Don't Know Shit, doug.
I'm hanging out on the couchtonight with Ryan.
Angelo decided to take the weekoff because he's a lazy son of
a bitch.
May you burn in hell, angelo.
Whole day, yep, yep, whole day.
Whole week.
He's gone.
He's gone.
Yeah, he left us.
Left us on the couch.
(00:24):
Yeah, hosting alone.
Nah, we miss you, buddy.
Yeah, you can still burn inhell, though, wow, torture him
so, ry, how are you, buddy?
How was your week?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
My week was pretty
good, not too bad.
Anything eventful happen, notreally it rained.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yeah, eventful happen
, not really it rained.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
No, yeah, yeah you
didn't have a protest in your
front yard or anything like that.
No, no, no, no.
I was driving around and I sawa uh, I saw a tesla with a
sticker on it that said I boughtthis before elon went crazy oh
well, ouch yeah I'm sorry, Idon't think I don't think elon
went crazy.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I think everybody
just turned their back on him.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh, for sure no.
I don't believe the sticker,but I believe that it was a
liberal driving.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Oh well he's driving
a Tesla.
I was talking to my dad aboutthis earlier today and I'm like
unfortunately.
I do appreciate the fact thatElon made the major sacrifice by
kind of walking away from hisbusiness to go and push for what
he believes in politically andunfortunately, going against the
liberal party was going againsthis like major consumer base
(01:34):
yeah elon, elon, you don'tdeserve this.
no, you don't, buddy, no youdon't, and sorry, I mean your
truck.
Uh, as cool as, like people say, it is, anybody on the
conservative side, they're goingto buy a Ford, they're going to
buy a Chevy, they're going tobuy your atypical American
backbone truck.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Savage trucks?
Not for me.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Not for me either.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
No.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Yeah, I like Elon man
.
I was never into the cyberpunkscene like that futuristic thing
was never my jam.
No, Nah, no, no, no.
I only like neon for like ashort period of my life.
Oh, a neon, yeah, like the neoncolors.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Oh, I thought you
meant like the Dodge neon.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
No, no, no, I'm
actually not too familiar with
that car.
Was it a decent car?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
No, it was a piece of
shit, all right, I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
There's people out
there who love them, I'm sure.
Yeah, probably Fans of thatshit.
I feel like I've still got minefrom 12th grade.
Yeah, still going strong.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah, it's a terrible
car.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Is it still on the
market?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
No, no, they no
longer sell that model.
No, there's people that theylike souped it up or whatever.
You know.
They sold parts for it, I think, but wasn't my cup of tea.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Is this like a honda,
where you can just go down to
the like the store and buy like?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
it might.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It might have been
like uh, yeah, an answer to
honda you know, yeah, you pay ahundred dollars worth of parts
and you can get like another 20horsepower.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you
gotta know what you're doing, I
guess but um well, with honda,no, you just.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I mean, it's cheap,
you just run it until the thing
pops.
And then you just get new parts.
They're like 20 bucks.
Go down, put the thing back in.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Economically, yeah,
the vehicle is pretty good Honda
that is, in terms of likelongevity and, yeah, the cost of
parts typically were cheaper.
I don't know how that is now.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Well, don't get me
wrong.
I mean, Honda makes one hell ofa dirt bike.
I mean, Honda's four-stroke isa beast.
They're making Formula Oneracing engines now, which are
absolutely incredible.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Really.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Oh yeah, no.
So I mean, they definitely havetheir hand in a lot of
different areas, but when itcomes down to, let's say, our
neck of the woods, the peoplethat are riding around in hondas
are buying them because theycan buy cheap parts for them and
they can soup them up and makethem look like fast and furious
cars yeah, yeah, well, that wasan era for sure.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
You know, the uh fast
and the furious definitely
helped that era of people whowanted to modify their vehicles
and uh, do you think that era isover?
Or for most, I think it's done.
But uh, there are those guysout there who are like still
enthusiasts and are stillworking on them, those cars you
know to this day, and what'sfunny is like the vast majority
(04:13):
of them have problems withpolice stopping them with their
loud cars and stuff.
So like, uh, yeah, it was a fad.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I'm sure there's a
list there.
I think there's like domesticdisputes and like like strong
armed robberies up that alley,like yeah I mean I've been.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I wasn't really part
of that scene, but I mean, you
know, I did drive around a lotas a, you know, a teenager or
whatever yo I I saw fast andfurious, they'll steal your safe
.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah and drive it
down the road and bring a tank
with them, okay, so you gottawatch out for those type of
people.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, I think that
was it.
That wasn't, that wasn't uh.
That movie was uh italian job.
Which one the mini coopers whenthey pull the safe right, isn't
that it?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
uh, they do that
through the sewers, but I
believe in one of the fastestlater.
Fast and furious oh, no I thinkI think it was.
Yeah, there was like a doublecable that was one.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Oh, that was.
That was with the uh, yeah,with the rock, right uh yeah,
that one had the rock in it.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
He was in a couple of
them and then john cena came oh
then it was it right.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Well, no, I mean
they're coming up with a new one
, right?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
well, probably why
not?
I mean, the franchise stillmakes money even though it's
absolutely terrible.
The newest one was at garbage.
I mean it was dog shit, but Isat through it.
I watched the whole thing, yeah, and like I was still rooting
for the like dog shit movie.
I enjoyed the first one, ohyeah, the first one, I mean.
Most first movies, mostintroductory movies are the best
I mean that's like where youstart your journey with these
(05:33):
people and like, unfortunately,it's the second and third movie,
whether it was written part oflike a chronicle, where the
author actually sat down andlike thought it all the way
through.
Or the first one made a shitton of money, so they're like,
ah, we better make a second oneso we can make a shit more.
Like shit, more money.
And that's how everyone's thefranchise is.
When, like they, there is noactual direction going from the
(05:56):
first one into the second one,it's just a cash grab.
They're like we need more money.
This thing made us a shit tonof money.
Let's get all our writers to goahead and work on this thing.
And it's never as good as theauthentic thing that was created
out of someone's hardship orsomeone's happiness.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
I mean, the story did
go on, so I don't Listen.
I watched it and I've seenquite a few of them.
I'm not a super fan or anythinglike that, but watching it know
.
Uh, yeah, there was consistencyfrom the first one to the
second one.
There was still the same, aslong as I guess they included
(06:33):
some of the same members.
The plot was kind of different,right, but, like you know, some
members were still there.
I don't remember the specifics,but I do remember there is some
.
The story continued, right, soit wasn't like it was completely
out of the water.
Weird surprise things kind ofwere supposed to happen.
Did they happen?
I don't remember, but it wasone of those franchises.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Hell of a storyteller
.
Let me tell you If you everneed someone to come to your
campfire and keep you riveted.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Are you on the edge
of your seat?
Don't invite me, because Iain't going to have a good story
.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
You guys will go to
sleep early that night.
I'm all over the fucking place.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I remember the first
one.
That's all I really cared about.
I think that there was somecohesiveness between the first,
second, third.
What was that girl's name?
Lottie or whatever?
What was that?
His girlfriend or his sister,or somebody like came back from
like the dead or some shit?
The problem is that I don'tremember the story and so I'm
like, ah man, I know that it was, it kind of followed, you know.
(07:35):
But anyway, I didn't even wantto talk about Honda's or any of
that stuff.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
I wanted to get into
how strange elon musk was.
What?
What?
Hold on, okay, I'm sorry wedrifted, we did.
Oh well, I liked how you usedthat.
You used the car term yeah, wedrifted around that corner, look
at you, go all right, um, okay,we can roll back to not that
tokyo drift I mean, yeah, umanother, another fast and
furious reference, all rightyeah, all day we're just gonna
keep throwing them out all nightI'm just gonna read, though,
like something else, we're gonnabring one out, nah, man but, um
(08:14):
, so yeah, no, um, the fast andfurious franchises were.
We're decent for what they were.
I mean, they progressively gotworse and worse and then they
had to bring on larger andlarger actors to keep the boat
afloat.
And that's where we're at rightnow.
I mean guys like explosions,aliens and tits and aliens with
(08:35):
big, exploding tits.
So I mean you give them a moviethat's in that movie.
No, I was like I'm trying todig it out, like I don't
remember Men in Black.
I was like I'm trying to dig itout.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I don't remember Men
in Black.
I'm all confused right now.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Oh, you missed the
fifth one.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I guess so.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
That's when shit got
weird.
They're like oh, chargers inspace, baby.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
What's with that man?
What's with all these moviethings going into space?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Well, they kind of
take it to space.
Space is the final frontier, Iguess.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
So I mean, what was
it like Jason versus Freddie in
space, or something like that?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Oh, no, no, no, Jason
versus Freddie was back here,
like at Camp Crystal Lake.
They started off in what was it?
On Elm Street and from ElmStreet they were led back to
Camp Crystal Lake and that'swhere you had the big fight,
which wasn't that big of a fight.
I think they should have, like,really drawn that out a bit
(09:27):
bigger.
But that's from a big horrorfan.
So, yeah, they never went tospace, but Jason did.
Jason, actually, jason's like achildren's novel.
Yeah, jason goes to summer camp.
Jason goes to New York.
Jason goes to.
Yeah, jason goes to wherever.
Jason's on a new adventure.
(09:47):
Where's jason going today?
Jason brought his machete andhe's off to see the camp.
Oh, jason brought his machete,he's off to see new york city.
And, like, we're on anotheradventure with jason vorhees, so
pack your bags and, ladies andgentlemen, we're off to see
jason war, he's on anotheradventure yeah, man.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Um, we're just all
over the place.
Oh, I'm sorry, yeah, but uh,yeah.
So no, as far as like the.
So the reason we talked aboutthe cars in the first place was
about you know honda right andthe elan was, but the honda
thing was that there was anerror right, and I believe that
fierce and the furious made ithappen, or me, brought some more
attention to it, which is theuh, you know, auto enthusiast
(10:29):
hobby of like, uh, modifying andracing cars, right, um, but
yeah, so like, uh, well, as faras um that goes today, I don't
really think it's all thatreally there that much.
I mean, there's a big eurothing, um, more so than I think,
than the foreign in terms oflike hondas so do you think for
(10:49):
us?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
and the furious like
killed a generation, like that
was the end of it, because, ifyou think about it, there was
tons and tons of differentmovies about racing cars up
until that point.
So I mean, you had the what wasit?
Um, the good old boys, we justsome good old boys.
Um, duke's a hazard.
(11:11):
Yeah, they were about drivingfast cars and pushing moonshine.
And then you went from that to,uh, smoky and the bandit dude
got a trans.
Am, sexy shit like that wasawesome.
Burt reynolds doing his thing,yeah, like, yeah.
And so you had all that goingon up until fast and furious and
did fast and furious kill it.
(11:32):
For, like, the next generationwas.
They were like oh, I don't wantto be a car enthusiast if
that's what a car enthusiastlooks like um, maybe to an
extent, but I don't really thinkso.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I think that, um, I
think that it definitely just,
you know, uh, glorified it alittle bit and uh, people, you
know it opened up more doors, soto speak, to people who you
know they gained interest inenticed people.
Oh hey, check out this wholething that's happening here.
Is it real?
You know most people when theysee it and it's funny, like you
see it in the movies you're like, nah, that's not real, you know
(12:05):
, but it is.
Nitrous oxide is real.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Speaking of that,
yeah, what is that little sport
that the Utes of the inner cityare doing these days, where they
do like donuts in the middle ofthe intersection?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Oh, that's so stupid.
Yeah, yeah, so does that have aname?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yeah, intersection.
Oh, that's so stupid.
Yeah, yeah, so does that have aname?
Yeah, it's called streettakeover, street take wait.
No, that sounds like adance-off.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
No, it's called a
street takeover.
So yeah, they've been doing it.
It's dangerous what they'redoing.
I mean listen, now there's atime and a place for like doing
donuts right, you know what I'msaying yeah, I used to do them.
I ain't gonna lie, did them.
You know, everybody tried it.
You know what I'm saying.
Of course, a parking lot.
Yeah, nobody around.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Go to jones beach
didn't want to really like.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
I wasn't trying to
show off with my with my donut,
though you know I wasn't likemaybe a couple, maybe it was a
handful of people like in othercars, not a crowd.
Let me do fucking donuts.
Uh, uncontrollable donuts.
I mean, come on, man, andyou're like running over the
crowd.
Oh, smacking them with society.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Smacking them with
society, hurting people, and
then you have idiots hangingoutside the car, oh and they're
falling off of it and thengetting ran over by the same
vehicle.
Oh, it's brutal.
It's just like is that Gen Z?
Yeah, I guess.
I guess that's the new motorscene.
Instead of actually drivingyour vehicle, you just go around
in circles a lot.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Just act like a total
tard and just go hardcore, run
each other over oh, I've seen somany pieces get smacked off.
The vehicle like it goes aroundin circles, hits a light, light
post, back fender, breaks offand you're like dude, my thing
is like yeah, the people thatget hurt, man, and like the, the
car flips over and it falls onthe fucking people who are
hanging outside the window.
(13:43):
And you know, luckily there'speople there who try to help the
people, but there's people, I'msure, who were affected to this
day permanently, like maybedisabled and or dead.
So, it's like why, why, why?
Speaker 1 (13:56):
If you were to put an
urban Olympics together, do you
think we should make this partof the urban Olympics?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
An urban Olympics.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, yeah, so I'm
thinking like the milk crate
game.
Yeah, so we do the milk crategame that was the hood olympics
yeah, the hood, oh hood,olympics okay, so they did it in
the hood, so do you think thisshould be an event as well?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
you know, we'll put
the car out there I mean it's
kind of like a bull and it'slike who can get out of the ring
without I mean, it's one of thedumb things that people or I
should say younger people aredoing, and I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Well, I mean in the
subways.
I honestly have heard theannouncements as you're going
through the subways and they'relike please do not climb on top
of the subways and surf thesubways.
It's moronic, you can getkilled.
And I'm killed and I was like,okay, and I've heard these for a
(14:48):
while, but it wasn't until Itook the, I think the r.
You saw somebody do it.
Yeah, I'm like, hey, I look, Ilook at the kids and the kids
come out and get in between thetwo carts and like they're
starting to climb up the chainand I'm looking at them.
Now, mind you, I've I like tolive on a little extreme in my
life.
I like to do a lot of crazythings, I mean okay, it's not on
the edge.
Yeah, If you're not living onthe edge, you're taking up too
much space.
(15:08):
I don't know who said that.
It's not my quote, but yeahit's a good quote.
So yeah, I'm.
I'm looking at these two kidswalking out and all of a sudden
they start climbing on the chain.
Think to myself, I'm like, ohman, like half of me, like the
kid in me, wants to go join themso I can understand where the
drive is, and the likeexcitement and the exhilaration
(15:30):
of being able to like get up andlike face your fears.
But then, at the same time, I'mlike there's a bunch of
man-made shit that can justdecapitate me instantly up there
, like I mean thinking about theodds and yeah, you waited Right
.
You were like, hmm, the riskversus the thrill, yeah, the
risk or reward.
I think the risk is way higher.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
It is yeah, you're
like ah, death or dismemberment
or some thrill oh no, it couldbe Like, really think about the
situation.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
It could be way worse
than that, because those
tunnels I mean personally Idon't walk those tunnels, so I
don't know how many times thosetunnels are walked.
When it comes down to likeprofessionals going through the
subways after the fact, yeah, soyou could actually like fall
off into the subways and be likesitting there like with a
broken hip not being able to getup.
You're oh yeah you're prettymuch like in the dark, in the in
(16:28):
the dark in the fucking traincoming in the nastiness in the
slime.
No, no, no with the rats you'dwant at this point in time you'd
kind of want to be close enoughto the train that it could take
you out oh now you're likeright, you're just like a little
blob, you're a gimp off theside of the train, like honestly
, there's too many things inthose sewer systems that would
(16:48):
like to eat you.
You know like a horde of ratscomes through your dead meat, a
horde of cockroaches.
You want to be dead meat.
Like you, you'd want to beeaten by the rats.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
at that point, let me
ask you a question.
Yeah, you ever seen Wile ECoyote?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I have several times
I have.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
You ever seen it when
they go on top of the train and
then fucking get hit by thetunnel?
Yes, what Exactly?
I mean, I would never want that.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
You know what I'm
saying, right?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Exactly Like oh, I'm
on top of a train, I'm chasing a
roadrunner.
Oh, wait a minute, I'm notgoing to fucking fit shuttle
boom, he hits the mountain, youknow well.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Yeah, come on guys
you've seen so many of the
movies throughout time wherethey decided to fight on top of
the train and it never workedout for the bad guy oh yeah, he
always didn't look up in time tosee the thing, the like obscure
thing in his way that took himoff.
I mean, like the wolverinemovie and like what was it?
The trains, not train spotting,but the the train movie where
(17:43):
they're going through andthey're eating the bugs and the
candy bars.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I don't know about
that one.
Oh yeah, I don't know that one.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
All the rich people
live in the front of the train
and all the poor people live inthe back of the train.
No, I don't know that, andthey're traveling over the
frozen earth, frozen tundra, ohinteresting.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah, not seen that
one.
No.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
That's definitely a
rainy day movie.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I can never think of
the name of it.
So you guys find out.
You guys can write in let usknow what that is.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
I know you guys know
it, you're gonna be like dog.
You're such an asshole.
You don't know shit.
Yeah, don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Don't know shit, doug
yeah yeah, I mean, you know
there's a lot of thrill seekersout there.
You know I'm saying, and likepeople are always gonna be doing
crazy shit, whether it'sfucking climbing on top of
trains, surfing or fuckingscaling the side of buildings
with, just like you know,regular like rock climbing gear
and like tape on their fingers-yeah, but I appreciate that guy
(18:31):
yeah, yeah.
Well, you like the sport rightso I'm big into rock climbing.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
I love rock climbing
like I've seen some videos.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
The other day the guy
was like his hand was shaking.
He's like oh, I'm tired, I needto rest.
He's like a french guy.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
French guy.
Was that your French accent?
It tried.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
We should go to a
French restaurant this weekend.
You can order everything.
No, I'm good, anyway.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah, so he's like
panting and everything and I'm
like why?
I mean you know, and you knowwhat's crazy he's like?
He don't just go to the top, hescale back down.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Wait, he climbed down
.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
They go up and they
go down.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
That's not a very
smart idea.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I don't know.
It's a proof of skill.
They have a statement thatthey're making.
Part of me thinks that thestatement I don't know what the
statement is exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Don't eat meat.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
That might be part of
it, that may be part of that
may be one of the statements,but I think the most the main
statement I think is that, likeyou know, the world used to be
what it was before there wasbuildings.
It was like mountains and treesand everything else Right.
And so now animals use monkeysand everything else.
Whatever he's able to climbthings, now they can't.
They can't climb the skyscraper, you know.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Right, you'll fucking
in like a chimpanzee, just
fucking bolt out the woods andstart climbing up the fucking
skyscraper.
You don't see that well, I meanlike in concept.
Yeah, when it comes down tolike some of these
post-apocalyptic movies, you seehow like new york city has been
, like retained by mother nature, and plants are growing all
(20:00):
over, true all oh, when it takesover, yeah.
Which would happen if weallowed it to.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
It's like seven days
or like eight days after life
stops on Earth or whatever, andthey show you what it would look
like.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
The overgrowth.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I'm like damn, seven
days, that's it.
What the hell?
No, no, no.
They're working hard to keepthat grass back.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Better not get rid of
those illegal immigrants.
I'm just thinking, I like thefucking chia pet if it grows
green, you know when you put theseeds on it.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, that shit
doesn't grow that big in a week.
It takes like 28 days to getlike big and puffy you know,
speaking of 28 days later, youknow what's crazy.
Hold on a second, you knowwhat's crazy what when you go to
the like, the health foodstores where all the richy-rich
girls go in to buy the smoothieshakes and whatnot.
Okay, yeah, you know chia seeds.
Yes, yeah, it's the same shit.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Well, yay, yeah,
ch-ch-ch-chia, I guess they just
grow yeah.
Yeah so you yeah, yeah, Well, Iguess I don't know.
I mean, maybe they roast themor something and they're just
non-functional.
But if you could literally justtake them and not have to like
just throw them in the groundand to grow, then spread them on
(21:13):
your chia thing, Then that'samazing.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, yeah, oh man, I
forgot what talking about
before that though.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
I don't want to be that guy.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Yeah, I totally
blasted it.
That thought is gone.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Oh my bad.
Well, you know what guys youcan eat chia seeds.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Oh yeah, 28 days
later came right back in there.
Another thing, speaking aboutmemory, real quick.
Did you know, supposedly, ifyou would have been like
no-transcript, it doesn't, Iguess it hurts your brain or
something.
Like if somebody corrects youlike, let's say, you can't
recall it yourself, you likelose the ability to like your
(21:54):
recollection.
Oh my God, your ability torecall like you lost some of it.
Oh, it's like an exercise orsomething yeah, wow.
Yeah, I mean listen, this iswhat I was told.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Is it kind of like
when, like someone knows you're
about to sneeze and they saybless you before you sneeze, and
then it stops the sneeze fromcoming?
Yeah, and you're like ugh yeah,but your body still wants to
sneeze.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Your face hurts.
Yeah, you're like, I hateeverything about you.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
You're not welcome to
my house anymore.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Yeah, it's like that.
It's deep in the mind.
You're like ugh.
But anyway, you stole mythunder.
I was supposed to remember thatfact.
They came out with uh 28 yearslater.
I believe is the name of thenew movie yeah, but is it going
to be good?
I mean, it's about zombies,right and like the blood well, I
mean, there's been some goodzombie like the germs or
(22:44):
whatever the virus.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Some great zombie
movies and there's been some
shit zombie movies.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
So I don't remember
how the last one ended.
The 28 days, yeah, um, I knowsome like guy was sitting in
like a crow like was eating someshit and the blood went in the
dude's eye and he's like hebecame like the zombie shit oh
yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
My favorite part
about that, I have to say, was
the gentleman that went andcollected all the shopping carts
what?
Yeah, I remember that oh, itwas in the um skyscraper.
It was towards the beginning ofthe movie.
I'll check it out.
So he went to the skyscraperand this guy decided to go
around and grab all the shoppingcarts and he filled up the
(23:24):
hallway in the stairwell withshopping carts and it stopped
the zombies from climbing to getthrough?
Yeah, because that's a verycomplicated climb to get through
.
It's very like yeah fucking allbent up chart.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So when I saw that I was like,wow, that was, that's very
impressive.
Like I'm taking notes.
Yeah, exactly, yeah, all rightI still don't think I would ever
bottle myself up inside of aapartment building.
(23:47):
Yeah, I don't think that wouldbe smart business.
I mean, in a zombie apocalypseCamp out on the roof, we all
have our different.
No, no way, man.
I think that's.
I think you're stinkingyourself on an island to die.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Well, if they're
zombies, they'll be trying to
climb up, and if you do thewagon thing, it won't be so bad.
Bad.
Or if you put some other kindof traps, maybe not so bad, but
assuming that they did make itto the roof my dude, have you
ever been you?
Might have a better chance tojust like you know, fighting
them a little bit and likepushing them off the roof I'm
not just worried about zombies,man.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
You got to think
about the full aspect of
everything well, you do havepeople, but then at the same
time, right there where you putyourself.
Yeah, my first problem would bethe tar roof I'm standing on,
depending on what time of year.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Worry about cooking.
Yeah, it could be 110 degreesup on that roof.
I don't have to worry aboutthat.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I'm going to be
dehydrated and dying on the roof
all by myself.
And I don't get the ability topop up and start running around
eating people.
I mean, you know, I'm justgoing to be a crisp corpse on
top of a building that gotdehydrated.
So you got to think about like,where are you going to be
strategically?
I think for me personally yeahit'd be fleet of boat style.
(25:02):
I would go around and collect anarmada of boats and like that's
, that's how I think we'd travelis by boat, because ports have
a lot of things in them andthey're easily accessible and
you can get a majority of yourthings from robbing ports and
not robbing, but, you know,accumulating because nobody's
living on the planet anymore, soit's not like you're actually
(25:23):
taking your facility, but goingaround to the different port
sections and going through thedifferent boxes and stuff.
I think you would stay alivefor, for and actually live
pretty well by collecting thingsthat are coming and going out
of a country, um, for, for agood while, because that most
people think about going tostores and stuff like that.
(25:44):
Uh, you know, stop it as itcomes in and as long as you guys
have a nice structured way ofaddressing, uh, going into these
different sections, you guyscan make sure that your flanks
are and everything's wellprotected.
As you're going in, you'reaccumulating all your equipment
yeah, and then, once you get it,you get back out on the boats.
(26:05):
You get a large enough boat,you keep acquiring bigger boats
until the point where you haveenough people that you've saved
and accumulated.
And then you have a nice littlefleet, including a couple
cruise lines, and then, yeah,you get floating cities.
Fuck it.
You know what?
Let the zombies have the land.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
So there's a video
game out there.
It's for the PC, it's calledArmor, I think it's for the pc.
It's called armor.
I think it's like armor 2 orarmor 3.
Okay they came out with a yearsago.
They made like a daisy mod andyou could play.
It was zombies, essentially.
Okay, daisy, you know yeah, Iknow, daisy and, uh, you want.
(26:44):
You played as a survivor and itwas based on real time and, like
your character, was yourcharacter for the world.
So, like you entered the world,you had to find a place to stay
, you had to forage and findthings and then, like you could
talk, there was other people inthe game.
You had to watch out for otherpeople in the game because they
(27:04):
want to kill you and take yourstuff, yeah.
But yeah, and it was based onthe game didn't have like a safe
point Like you would.
You'd have to like sleep orhide somewhere and the next day
you were still in that place.
And every day you progress, youtry to progress and survive.
It's pretty sick.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I've played a couple
of those games.
They are, but once again thosethings give me anxiety.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Yeah, give me anxiety
.
Yeah, I'm telling you likesleeping.
You know you wake up in themorning like damn, I wonder if
my guy died.
Yeah, somebody come hunt me inthe night, or maybe a zombie,
you know well, here we go, youturn it on.
It's like you died.
Fuck, yeah, like what the fuck?
Who killed?
Speaker 1 (27:42):
me, you don't even
know you have no idea like right
before you went to sleep underthat bush, you got like the most
cool, like helmet or something.
You're like sleep under thatbush, you got like the most cool
, like helmet or something.
You're like accumulatedsomething awesome and you're
like I can't wait to get back onthere and like use this item.
Come to find out.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Somebody came by and
like snuffed you out while you
were sleeping what was coolabout arma was that it was based
on uh the time zone that theserver you were logged in on.
So if you logged in on a serverthat was in the, you know uh,
eastern standard time, it wouldbe the same, you know.
So when it's daylight, realdaylight, it's daylight in the
game, and when it's nighttime.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
It's nighttime in the
game that's what you meant by
that.
See, I thought when you you, Ithought you said armor was based
on like time and so, like, ifyou're in the japanese time
period of one o'clock, then youlike, get a kimono and you get
like you thought it was like,yeah, that'd be era like yeah,
exactly like 1920s zombies.
(28:36):
What would it be like get sixshooters and like get to walk
around like wild bill?
That's awesome, I dig that.
Yeah, yeah, somebody make thatfor me.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Yeah, we want to have
an era, we want to visit a
certain time period like 1950s.
That's been done, probablyright yeah no, no.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
We need different
eras.
We need to take this back.
We need Jesus zombies.
Okay, I want to be Paul at theLast Supper and then pick up
like something at the lastsupper to fight off the zombie
horde that's coming through thegarden of yosemite.
Okay, that's what I want, yeah,yeah, okay, I want to go back
(29:19):
to the greek mythology of likethe battle of troy and like, as
the battle of troy and the twoarmies are coming and he's
coming up to the wall all of asudden, just like a weird zombie
, like pops out and just startseating the whore, like eating
one person and the whore justkeeps going throughout the
entire like the entire field andjust yeah.
(29:40):
Bring me like, bring me to likeamazing historical locations,
and then add a zombie hoard.
Yeah, zombies.
The middle of Rome, awesomegladiator event about to happen.
All the kings and queens aremoving in to see this giant
event, yeah, and then all of asudden, like a zombie horde
(30:05):
breaks out in the middle of,like ancient.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Rome.
You know what's funny?
There's guys out there who dothat stuff and I've seen it
online already where I don'tknow why it was Harry Potter
versus Kermit the Frog, mymoney's on.
Kermit all day.
Yeah, but it was like an armyof Kermit the Frogs.
Oh, like a million somethingKermit the Frogs versus like six
Harry Potters.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Who won?
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Kermit the Frog.
Kermit the Frog versus like sixHarry Potters.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Who won Kermit the
Frog the fuck he did.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yes, he did.
I mean, they battled prettygood.
You know, there was like bodies, there was so many dead bodies
of Kermit the Frog, there was amountain and they were fighting
on the mountain of dead bodiesof Kermit the Frog still, which
is pretty crazy.
But yeah, it makes you wonderlike, uh, well, anybody could
build, you know games.
Now, you know, you justdownload the engine and well,
(30:52):
that's a tutorial, and that's it.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
I'm in that's like
how many, how many?
What was it?
How many 12 year olds do youthink you could beat up if I was
to send you into a room andlike, let's, let's say
hypothetically speaking legit 12year old legit 12 year olds.
If I was to send you into aroom and be like, you have to be
able to knock out this many12-year-olds, otherwise you lose
(31:17):
Right.
How many 12-year-olds do youthink you could actually
legitimately fight and knock outbefore the horde overrides you
and just completely swarms you?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Well, so in this
sense, we're talking about
Kermit the Frog, who is ofcertain stature.
Yes, and the entirety of thearmy of Kermit the Frog are the
same.
So the question is will these12-year-olds all be the same
stature?
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Roughly Roughly.
We're going to make sure thatthey stay Roughly Roughly.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
We're going to make
sure that they stay Roughly.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Yeah, we're going to
make sure they stay within like
a 20-pound, so they're like 100pounds, maybe, maybe, maybe, how
?
Many they're scraping.
That depends on you.
That depends on your number.
You have to be the one to like.
Set that bar.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah.
You have to be like I I thinkno weapons, just hands.
Um, if it's like no weapons andhands, and well, what are we
talking about?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
like 100 kit, I mean
that's okay, you can't bring
weapons with you.
You can't bring like tonkas orsomething like that, yeah, to
knock these kids out right.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
How many kids though
we started with?
Speaker 1 (32:26):
I mean, oh, you mean
in the pit at the same time.
Yeah, you mean like all at oncewe're coming up with like these
hypotheticals.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I mean, you know, we
got to at least set the bar.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
We'll do it.
Set the stage.
We'll do it Royal Rumble style.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
okay, oh they're
going to be coming in.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
We're going to be
setting them in like every two
minutes.
We'll set a new one in.
Oh man, I think I'd get gaspretty early.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
But if we were doing
Royal Rumble style, I don't know
man, Maybe 20.
And then I'll be fucking tiredafter that.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
You have to knock
them out.
Oh, knock them out.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yeah, knock them out.
You can't just punch them inthe face and be like, oh, I got
a couple tags in on that kid.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I mean, I don't know
how the chin is on these
children we're talking about.
Talking about, you know,getting a little crazy right now
.
First of all, I never want toattack any child, oh this is
hypothetical.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
I said that in the
beginning, hypothetically
speaking.
Yeah, no children were harmedin the making of this show.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
No, I mean you.
You know if you had to fend itoff, you know you had to do what
you had to do.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I mean oh no, you can
do either style.
You can do a defend off if youwant to like back into a corner
feel better about it.
Yeah, make sure that they swingfirst before you swing.
Okay, it was funny if thatmakes you feel good or you can
go to like total conan barbarianstyle.
But as far as weapons areconcerned, I think like we're
going to put it in a averagelike area, we're not going to
(33:53):
put in a written boxing ringyeah and you can use like the
elements of the room.
Okay, so like, if there's atelevision in the room, if you
want to smack a child withtelevision, you have the ability
to okay, if you want to like,take a dresser and tip it over
on them.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
You got that ability
I mean so well, what I can say
is I recently saw a video of a16-year-old kid knocked the crap
out of a guy that was like 40.
So we can just tell you rightoff the bat.
I can tell you the age don'tmatter, size doesn't necessarily
matter either, and the reasonwhy I know that is because the
kid wasn't that.
First of all, the kid was waymore agile than the older guy.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
I put these little
guys at 12, okay, they don't
have testosterone runningthrough them.
They haven't really built upanything.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
They haven't started
that yet.
Right, exactly, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
They're just big
enough to, like you know, put
their head at your like normalarm-swinging range.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Yeah, but the problem
is once you get.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I think that once you
get more than five of them,
you're gonna have a tough timeif they're all working together,
because because I mean okay- sonow my question is where are
you gonna find three 12 yearolds that are gonna get along
enough that they're gonnaactually make it like what
you're just?
Speaker 2 (35:06):
like.
So you just talk about,hypothetically speaking, about
some kids hanging out in a roomand you just walk in like what's
up, you just like, and thensome of them are like don't
touch me, you just beat theirass.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Like what are you?
Speaker 2 (35:16):
talking about.
I don't want no part of thisand he's like trying to run out.
You're like, come here to.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
It's KO time.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
You're going to sleep
.
What the hell?
You got some crazy imagination.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
I got to say I'm not
the first person to bring that
up.
Okay, so that question is oh,okay.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Yeah, that question
is this is next, right?
This question is rolling aroundon the internet.
Who brought it up?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
I forgot the first
person.
Oh yeah, in fact I probablydon't know the first person, but
I know I've seen the questionroll around on the internet
quite a few times, so I decidedto throw it in your direction
and see how you felt about it.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
I have no desire to
hurt children or be in a fight
with them, All right what ifthey were grown men that were
the size of 12-year-olds?
If that makes you feel betterabout this situation, Now I
don't want to hurt on the dwarfpopulation, little people,
(36:14):
whatever you call them.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
You don't want to
hurt on them like Snow White did
.
Oh, that's messed up Sevencareers down the drain.
No man.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
No, I say that with a
big heart, Honestly, a lot of
times I say it I do, I saythings that are just I say them
because a big heart Honestly alot of times I say it.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
I do I say things
that are just like.
I say them because they're rawand funny.
To be honest with you.
No, that's fucked up.
What they did, like Disney did.
I mean they took like sevenawesome careers plus seven
backup actors plus stuntmen, soyou're talking like 15, 20
little people that could havehad awesome jobs.
What?
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Little people.
Are fish appraised things?
Oh dwarves, I don't think theylike dwarves either.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
It's in the fucking
name of the movie, bro.
What am I supposed to do withthat?
Okay?
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Snow White and the
seven small people.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yeah, fuck that.
They're dwarves, and you say itto make it sound even like more
more viking say with an englishaccent dwarves the dwarven kind
.
Yeah, so all right um yeah, butlike honestly, that was like
several amazing careers thatwere thrown into the trash
(37:26):
because they didn't even knowwhat to help the hell to do with
their movie no first they madelike snow white and the seven
weird magical things and then,like the public was like yeah,
we're not accepting anything todo with that.
And they're like, oh no, oh, wedidn't mean seven magical people
, we meant seven dwarvesoriginally like like we had the
original movie and then theywent off and made these weird ai
(37:48):
abominations so are you tellingme there was an actual cast
before the ai stuff?
Uh no, it was first ai stuffand then turned into second ai
stuff.
So first of all, oh okay therewas seven magical creatures that
weren't dwarves, nor were male.
So let me ask you a questionyes, the guys who voiced them.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
yes, were they
dwarves?
No, they were not dwarves.
No, they were not dwarves aswell, right.
Well, if I was part of thedwarf union, I would be fucking
suing the pants office.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Oh me too.
I mean, I'm an uproar.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
How dare you not
include us in your movie?
I wish I was short enough to beinvolved.
I'd get out there and protest,but I doesn't.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
It doesn't have the
same punch when you're six foot
two yeah you know right, it'd bemuch more of like an impact if
I was I don't know three foottwo three foot two yeah, then
I'd be coming in with thatdwarfism badassness doing that
mini me.
Yeah, no, no, dude, no, not,not mini me at all.
No, I come, come in straight uplike one of the dudes from Lord
(38:49):
of the Rings, yeah, yeah, withthe big badass battle axe on my
back and the whole nine singingMisty Mountains.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
I'd be bringing in.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Yeah, oh, real
different.
Like no, I'll be coming in witha statement Tough, of course,
what do you want me to be partof the Lollipop Guild?
Of course, what do you want meto be part of the lollipop guild
?
Fuck, a bunch of that noise,yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I want you to be the
lollipop kids.
We would like to welcome you.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
No, hell.
No, I wouldn't be the, Icouldn't go that Well, I mean it
really, I guess, comes down tothe body you're given as a dwarf
.
Do you look more like alollipop kid Do?
Speaker 2 (39:27):
you look more like a.
I think I would just say, yeah,first of all, lollipop kids man
, crazy looking hair and shit.
But munchkins, yeah, inmunchkin land.
Right, they weren't pissedabout that.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
That was the 50s bro.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
They were actually
happy.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
That was one of the
most high paying jobs of the
time for actors.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
Yeah, yeah, jobs at
the time for actors?
Yeah, yeah, dangerous,dangerous too.
They didn't give a fuck.
If you got like poisoningcancer, dot whatever, hung
yourself in a tree in thebackground, they didn't give a
fuck they didn't know man, itwasn't like they knew they, they
would just be like yo.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
We got this cool
paint.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
It looks like metal
we're gonna slap over your body.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Jim, you look like
you're dying bro it's like why
are you throwing up buddy?
Exactly spray this guy with oilare you are you sure you got
all the paint off.
He looks pretty red.
Yeah, oh man that's crazy, dude,it's crazy oh yeah, with that
aluminum paint was god awful.
That freaking lion suit madethe dude sweat to death.
(40:24):
Yeah, like there was a lot oflike horrific things.
And that's not the only movielike that was just like
hollywood as a whole.
You want to be on the bigscreen.
You're gonna get hurt, boy.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Yeah, oh man I saw
something recently about the
fucking uh, the wizard of oz.
I forgot what it was, though oh, another thing.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Yeah, I gotta say,
man, like, when it comes down to
that movie, there's so muchshit that's wrapped around it
and so many things that peoplelook for.
I mean, between the gay thingsand between the pink floyd
things and between the dudehanging himself in the
background and all the othercraziness that went on for that
(41:10):
movie.
Honestly, I think it's one ofthe best movies for the hype.
You know what I mean.
There's just so much stuff thatpeople have made up over the
years because, honestly, that'sone of the oldest movies and
everybody's seen him becauseit's a children's movie.
Yeah, and I I'll be straight uphonest with you, dude, that
(41:30):
shit scared the shit out of meas a child.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah.
Yeah, I know some kids thatwere scared of the monkeys.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
No, I didn't mind the
monkeys Flying monkeys.
I didn't like the imagery.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
What are you?
What like Dorothy I mean 95% ofit is Dorothy in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Then you see the
weird fucking bubble witch.
No, as soon as it went intodollar tree store coloring.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
That's when I was
just like oh, with the green and
the yellow I didn't like the.
I didn't like the imagery Iwant to go back to the black and
white, please exactly, please,color.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Can we go back to
like a decent movie where, like,
the imagery looked fine?
I understand you were trying tosell colored televisions like
hardcore back in the day, yeah,but I don't want to be I, I and
I was born much further in thefuture than that, but I don't
want to be involved in that likeI understand what it was and
now it's like I don't.
(42:24):
The gay society yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
But once again.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
I don't want to be
wrapped in that.
I don't want to watch that.
That's not for me.
There's a lot of things thatare for me and they're really
fucked up, most of them.
They're really fucked up.
Oh yeah, dude, I really enjoyweird off the off the wall, not
ordinary things.
Yeah, I do appreciate that.
(42:54):
I love obscure humor.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
I mean, yeah, I like
all kinds of young men Don't
matter to me.
I mean I don't get crazy aboutit.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Oh, I hate dad jokes.
Man, you don't like the dadjokes?
No, I can't.
I can never let them come frommy lips.
Really yeah it's just not in me.
I'm like, yeah, I just don'tlike it, like what?
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Let's hear one of
them dad jokes that Doug has.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
I hate puns Like oh,
why can't you hear a pterodactyl
?
Go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Because the P is
silent.
Okay, oh yeah, that's a dadjoke.
That's a dad joke.
Yeah, yeah, it's a dad joke.
That's a dad joke.
Yeah, yeah, it's a spellingjoke.
You know, it's like one ofthose things that you're like I
guess it's funny.
I mean, if I really have tothink about it, yeah, I guess I
appreciate that in some kind ofweird, obscure way yeah, yeah,
(43:57):
all right.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
So, um, yeah, man, I
don't know.
Oh yeah, you're right.
Right, there's, like you know,why don't skeletons fight each
other?
Speaker 1 (44:05):
but they don't have
the guts yeah yeah, right, right
.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
I told my wife she
should.
I told my wife she shouldembrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug dude, stopplease.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
I fucking hate these
things.
These are brutal.
Why don't?
Speaker 2 (44:20):
eggs.
Chill jokes Because they mightcrack up Shut up Swear to God
dude.
I fucking despise this,Although I got five going, so I
ordered a chicken and an eggonline.
I'll let you know which onecomes first.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
On this note, I'm
going to let you run your jokes.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
The last one is what
did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt, I don't get that one.
Oh, I guess, because it's azero with a twist in it to make
it an eight.
Yeah, that must be what it is.
(44:58):
Yeah, dad jokes, they arepretty terrible, I wouldn't mess
with them.
I'm not going to mess with themwhat it is.
Yeah, dad jokes, they arepretty terrible, I wouldn't mess
with them.
I'm not going to mess with them.
Let's see, hold on a secondhere.
Let me see if I can run us somestuff.
Bleh, okay, nah, there'snothing good here.
(45:46):
This is all ridiculous.
I like to welcome you.
Yeah, man, you left me hanginghere by myself here.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Sorry, you lit it up
with those whole dad joke things
.
I decided to use that as a goodtime to go take a piss.
I'm just holding it.
Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, Ihad to step out for a second
while he went on that piss.
I'm just holding it.
Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, Ihad to step out for a second
while he went on that rant.
That's not my jam.
Yeah, man, yeah, I had to go onthe rant.
I like the like I said obscure,weird, out of the ordinary,
(46:14):
honestly Terrible I know I am.
I am very bad, nothing makes me.
I'll be watching a movie andthe most obscure, like punch to
the face, happens and I burstout laughing in the most serious
of the movies.
And just because I meanhonestly, if you were in that
situation and you saw thathappen and you were standing out
(46:36):
in front of a bar, that'd befunny.
Or if you're standing out infront of a coffee shop, one dude
just like punches the otherdude in the mouth, like oh that
that's hilarious.
At least I feel so, yeah but youlike the slapstick slapstick no
, no, no, no, no, it's not.
I don't like slapstick.
For slapstick it has to be likea serious thing for me to be
(46:59):
like oh, that's fun, that'sobscure, that's weird, yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
That's obscure.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
That's weird, yeah
yeah, not not like an
intentional like um, oh, who arethose guys back in the day, the
three stooges?
No, I despise that.
Nah, they weren't my.
I wasn't a fan of that either,but I like marks on the marks
brothers in my jam.
You know, no, um, you don'tremember the gentleman with the
big mustache and big eyebrowswith the cigar.
(47:23):
Oh yeah, that's Groucho.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Yeah, that was a big
one.
A lot of people like would usehim in their comedy skits.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Yeah, Even Bugs Bunny
did that.
Of course he did.
I mean, Groucho is a fuckinglegend.
Yeah, Horse Feathers the wholenine Guys.
I really know my shit when itcomes down to this, so I don't
want to say anything in thecomments.
He's not really a Marks fan,Shit.
I know my shit.
He dreams about him a nut.
(47:52):
Honestly, chico, the most Harpowas your major slapstick kind
of comedy guy, charlie Chaplin.
Each brother had their ownaspect of what they did for
their comedy team and broughttogether this full aspect of
different comedies all wrappedinto one movie which was
brilliant, and you never seethat kind of shit again.
(48:14):
And unfortunately they only hada budget that was so big to be
able to produce the movies thatthey did.
If they had the budgets oftoday, with their comedy of
yesteryear dude, oh my God,those things would be priceless.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Yeah, they'd be epic.
Epic yeah, man I hear that, butit's the things I hold on to.
It's the little things.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yeah, hold on to
those little things, doug.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (48:44):
We hold on to a
little thing every night.
We know that.
Every half hour or so when youget a piss.
You're holding on to a littlething.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Wow, bro, you and
Angelo Always talking about my
dick.
Hey man, I wish it was as smallas you guys said it was.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
Yeah, yeah, dribbling
on your balls.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
I wouldn't have to
buy an extra seat when I flew on
planes?
Yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
I have to get the
extra space, guys.
It's not fun.
Exactly, I got to pay more.
You know what it's like I can'tcross my legs.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
I cannot cross my
legs.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
Yeah, I am incapable
of doing those things.
Oh man, you know what's crazy?
Man, I can hear that thing.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
The buzz, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
Sucking it yeah,
getting your puff on your fruity
puff, honestly yeah, it is whatit is.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Yeah, I am a creature
of my crutches and I know this.
Okay, and I've comfortably gotwell, I become comfortable with
those skeletons in my closet.
Yeah, yeah, I've accepted who Iam.
Exactly.
What could change me?
Oh, what's the serenity prayer?
God, give me the strength toaccept me for who I am.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
Yeah, yeah, I don't
know.
I better remember it.
I didn't do AA though.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
That was good enough
for me.
It worked.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
The audience got it.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
They understood what
I was talking about.
Yeah, he did that one guy.
We appreciate you, man.
This one goes out to you.
This Michelob, michelob,ultraob Ocho.
Yeah, man, strangers in thenight.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
It's a superior light
beer Only 95 calories.
Speaker 1 (50:31):
Yeah, you know what?
Do you see the oil show?
No, landman, no, oh, landman,landman, Nope, oh, that is a
show, is it?
It's a really good one.
Nope, oh, that is a show, is it?
It's a really good one.
You got to watch that one.
I don't know what is it on.
It is on Peacock.
Oh, don't have that.
Oh shit, too many subscriptions, can't have that one.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
Actually I might be
able to get that one, though I
think actually I do have thatone.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Oh, do have that one
oh it's definitely worth it.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
I think I got that
over somebody else.
It's one of those things youknow.
No, he pays full price for it.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah, full price.
Hey, man, listen, you know it'scrazy, right?
So, like netflix, all thesethings, you know people shared
them, they know that it'shappening, and then they, like
you know, they threaten and belike, ah, we're gonna stop it.
And I have to say, out ofeverybody, I think the only one
that really did was Netflix.
They actually shut that shitdown.
No, they didn't.
If you want to share it andit's not a family plan, yeah,
(51:33):
when you're in the samehousehold, it's a little
different.
No, no.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
They started charging
for extra accounts.
They're like oh, we see thatanother account's on your like
watching this, and you'vereached your max viewing account
.
So if you want to expand yourviewing account, you must pay
this amount.
Yeah, right, right.
So it's not that they got ridof your subscription, they're
just demanding you pay for whatyou're using.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
No, no, they don't
cancel you, but yeah, exactly
Like you and your four buddieswant to watch Netflix.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Not a problem, we're
just going to roll that into
your monthly sum.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
Yeah, exactly, and
it's crazy too.
So, like Disney, oh no, notDisney, maybe it is Disney.
Well, actually, maybe evenAmazon.
So Amazon advertises shows orwhatever.
And I think now Amazon does athing with paramount and then
paramount has a has a showtimeunder it, so like, if you want
(52:30):
to watch showtime, you need asubscription to showtime, but
you also need a subscription toparamount.
Yes, what the hell.
And then if you it's like whatyou know, and I think amazon's
thing was just like we're gonnaadvertise with them or whatever.
But yeah, it was kind of crazy,man.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Well, it actually
comes down to the fact that you
can either buy or use yoursubscription.
So they're like yeah, we gotthis thing and if you don't have
the subscription, you can goahead and buy it from us over
here, right, but if you do havethe subscription, we'll go ahead
and pop you over yourapplication that you do have it
on and you can go ahead andwatch it from there, yeah, since
you're already paying yourmonthly fees for that.
Speaker 2 (53:06):
It's funny.
I used to have cable and Ithink I had basic fucking cable.
I didn't even have HBO or anyof that shit and I was paying in
2006, with Token $130 a month.
Oh yeah, and I got internet.
So I'm like wondering, like nowyou know I pay for Sling,
(53:29):
that's 60 bucks.
I pay for Netflix, that'sanother like $15.99.
So that's like $16 or whatever,$17 with tax or whatever.
Yeah, uh, then you know you gotHBO Max.
Then you know you got HBO Max,that's $15.99 and then what's
your phone subscription?
Speaker 1 (53:48):
my phone Verizon.
Call up Verizon, you get one ofthose guys for free.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
You've not been I
haven't been in the loop yeah,
you gotta haggle with your.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
I'm throwing this out
to all you guys, every single
one of you.
Anyone listening to me rightnow?
I haven't been in the loop.
Speaker 2 (54:04):
Yeah, you got to
haggle with your hey guys.
Speaker 1 (54:05):
I'm throwing this out
to all you guys, every single
one of you, Anyone listening tome right now call up your phone
company and tell them to giveyou whatever freebie they have
for the month, because you'vebeen a loyal subscriber for a
long time and you're giving outfreebies to the new people that
came along that are fucking yeah, we're mad as heck and we're
not going to take it anymore.
Well, no, I did it all the time.
(54:26):
I've done it my entire life.
I've always renegotiated mycontract with my phone company
and I've called them up and I'mlike, hey, I see, you have a new
commercial right now we'regiving away this type of phone.
So you're giving away a $1,500phone to the new guy and I'm
over here as a little customerand you ain't giving me shit.
So, yeah, and honestly, everytime I fucking try to play
(54:48):
hardball with him, they're likeoh well, sir, please come off
the ledge, you don't need to goto our uh, like our competitor.
Please stay with us.
We appreciate you here, you canhave it too.
Speaker 2 (55:04):
You know what's crazy
, what's up?
So talking about cell phones,stuff like that.
So I got two lines with Verizonand I was on some plan that
they don't have them anymore, sothey just continue to plan.
It was a pretty good plan.
I liked it because I got thehotspot for free, unlimited
everything.
It was $60 a line back in theday I kept it and I held on to
that shit.
But yo, they out of nowhere.
(55:25):
My phone like stops working.
Right, try to make a call,nothing.
Sometimes it works, sometimesit doesn't.
Happened on the same exactweird shit Happened on both
lines.
I call up Verizon.
I'm like, yo, what's going on,man, the fucking phone stopped
working.
Oh, I don't see anything wronghere.
Oh, sir, you're beingde-authorized.
I'm like what?
Yeah, you're being uh,deprioritized.
I'm like I'm not prioritized.
(55:46):
What are you talking about?
He's like oh well, if you paymore on this plan, then you have
a better priority.
So like we won't knock off yourphone call.
So I'm like, are you kidding me?
Like, no, in high congestionareas, the bills that the people
who are paying more have forthe higher ultra wide band or
whatever get priority over theones who don't.
And I'm like, oh, wow, that'scrazy.
Speaker 1 (56:07):
Anyway, I had to talk
to her for a few minutes.
Where are you located right now?
I would like to go and talk toyou about this face-to-face you
bring out the urge that we needto have an immediate discussion.
Speaker 2 (56:19):
But after speaking to
him for like a few minutes or
whatever, it came out that theysqueezed me for $2 a month and
I'm like, alright, and then Igot everything.
I upgraded the plan, I was ableto get prioritized, all the
problems on my phone went away.
Speaker 1 (56:33):
Wait, they squeezed
you for $2?
$2.
$2 a month, yeah.
Speaker 2 (56:38):
After everything,
taxes, fees, all that it was
only $2 because the plan that Ihad $24 a year.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
Oh man.
Speaker 2 (56:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:48):
So I was like you
know, whatever, I don't care,
I'd be so angry, I'd be so angry.
Yeah, you made me so hostileand angry over such a situation
for $2.
And you're a huge company.
Why don't you just eat thatshit?
Yeah, why don't you just eatthat shit?
Why don't you eat the $24?
Speaker 2 (57:04):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (57:07):
You might actually
make me want to leave your
patience.
Speaker 2 (57:11):
I guess the moral of
the story is that, listen, at
some point your plan May becomedefunct.
It's old.
You used to be able tograndfather it.
You used to be able to justkeep it forever and it would
work great.
Now they're turning screws onthat shit and your phone works
like shit.
Speaker 1 (57:26):
We'll see here's okay
, all right, here we go for 360.
We're coming all the way backto the beginning.
This is my problem with teslas.
Okay, fucking tesla.
Wow, if I buy a car, yeah, andit's got a gadget or gizmo in it
, yeah, it better fucking workwhy?
Speaker 2 (57:44):
because I bought that
car and that car came with that
gizmo gotcha yeah, I mean itcame along with it with it.
Speaker 1 (57:50):
Yeah, if I, if I buy,
like, let's say, a hair trimmer
, and it comes with a bunch ofgadgets to be able to do
different parts of mine, like mybeard and whatnot, I want them
all to work you know right Idon't want to have like three of
them sitting on the shelf andbe like, oh, you have to pay
extra to get that right.
Speaker 2 (58:07):
So what's with the
tesla?
What do you with your beef?
Speaker 1 (58:10):
so with tesla yeah,
you buy the car.
The car comes to your house yes, it does and you can turn on
and off functions.
You can turn on and off theheated seat.
You can be like, oh, I'll paymore to have a heated seat, yes,
and they'll go.
Oh, okay, we just turned yourheater seats on, you can enjoy
those now.
Yeah it's like no wait.
So that means there was heatedseats in my car right when I
(58:33):
bought the fucker right, yeahthere's all they were turned off
right all these gadgets, yeah,you buy, are already in the
fucking car.
So you're not.
When you purchase that car,you're not purchasing it for
like the value it's max value.
You're purchasing it forwhatever the car is, to
basically rent past that point.
Speaker 2 (58:54):
You know what's crazy
about tesla, what's up?
so I get your point and yes, Ihad a friend who bought a tesla
and it was like that.
And he they there was thiswhole thing.
You know, if you tweet at, youknow at, and it was like that
and there was this whole thing.
If you tweet at at the time, itwas Twitter.
If you tweet on Elon Musk, hey,what's going on with the car?
Everybody should get free audio, whatever.
And then he would do it.
He would do weird things.
Oh, yeah, we'll turn the audioon.
And then all of a sudden,everybody who bought the Model 3
(59:17):
had the premium sound orsomething like that.
Um, so yeah, those are likesoftware features so they could
turn them on and turn them off,and all the cars are all built
the same.
And I was like, yeah, it madeit easier for them to sell cars
with different ranges, to justturn them on and turn them off
based upon the software updatesyou want so I mean it's like a
(59:37):
flat rate cost for the car.
It doesn't mean it's notincluded, right?
So you got a fixed rate on thecar, so it made sense for them.
Manufacturer wise.
It makes sense to me, it's acar for a service you know, but
what's crazy is that it'sactually not a car, so he got it
defined as so.
Tesla is not a dealership,tesla does not.
Tesla does not fall under likethe automotive dealership rules
(59:59):
at all.
What, oh wow so like it's almostlike you're buying a cell phone
, like I'm not even kidding, solike you know how.
Like there's this whole Rightto Repair Act and all that stuff
Doesn't matter nothing aboutTesla, at least from what I
remember.
But yeah, tesla is not reallyan automotive, so that's why
there's no other dealershipsthat sell Tesla.
(01:00:21):
Only Tesla sells Tesla.
For instance, if you have a Kiadealership, they might sell a
Hyundai.
They might sell Kia, they mightsell other cars.
Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
Right, because
they're bringing them in.
They're bringing in like youcan't, but you can't buy.
Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
You can't open up a
dealership and be like I'm going
to be a Tesla dealershipbecause it doesn't exist.
Tesla's not a dealer, that'stheir thing.
And somehow they, they fuckingwork the rule, work the, the,
the laws in such a way that it'slike you know, it's like a
premium cell phone.
Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
Well, you can't hate
the guy for like reading the
rules that were already there.
Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
Oh, I'm not mad about
it.
I'm just like that's amazing.
You know that he was able to dothat and, um, you know my all
means, know they want to controlit.
But what's crazy is that like,so these cars, after they're
done with they, go to Tesla,they go to like auction and then
at the auction, you know theysell them for whatever they want
at the auction and then afterthat somebody else gets it.
(01:01:20):
If they have a problem, theycan't bring it to a mechanic.
If it's like suspension workmaybe, but the vast majority of
the work that needs to be doneis software.
So they have to take it back toTesla.
And a lot of times there'stimes when Tesla's like oh, this
car's done.
Now, what do you mean?
The car's done, yeah, it don'twork, you can't have it.
They take it away from you,like it's weird, like that.
(01:01:40):
Or they charge.
They want exuberance amounts ofmoney in order to cover the car
.
It's no longer under warranty.
You know like they want likethe battery.
Oh, battery's dead, that's it.
Now you gotta buy a whole new,whole new battery.
You know when it's like.
You know you could really justchange like a cell or two.
There's a lot of weird stuffabout it.
There's guys out there that dolike, um, they hack them, you
(01:02:01):
know.
And there's guys that likethey'll program the car for you.
But that's the whole point oflike uh, the right to repair act
and uh stuff like that is thatyou know, manufacturers, they
shield information fromthird-party repair.
So like, wow, they don't wantyou to know how to like
interface with the car to fix itor any of that stuff.
But the Rights to Repair Actfor automotive, it's supposed to
(01:02:25):
open those doors and it does toan extent.
But even like Ford and like,well, maybe not necessarily Ford
, but like other dealers, likeGM for instance, you can't.
So if you have a GM, you have aglobal A right which means that
all of the components in yourcar electrically are protected.
They call it protected.
(01:02:46):
And if let's say, for whateverreason, you door switch, oh fuck
, my window won't go down, Ineed a new switch.
You go to the junkyard, you putit in there, don't work.
And also you could brick thecar, Don't start Really?
Yeah, Well, because theirexcuses a lot of auto theft and
(01:03:12):
people stripping down carsenable the secondary market to
sell stolen parts.
Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
No right.
Fuck you, you're just stoppingall the pick-apart guys from
being able to go in.
Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
Nope, it's got to be
VIN coded.
It has to match the VIN number.
Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
That is some bullshit
.
Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
So there's guys out
there that they program their
job.
Recode it, just recode it.
Take your VIN, put it on there.
Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
Well, I mean, God
bless those guys Vehicle hackers
.
Yeah, I mean, hey, you know whatit's industry.
And yeah, just wait, dude, Iwas thinking about like talking
to uh my dad today about this,because we were going on about
like elon musk and being able toget score a medical or a
military contract from uhamerica.
(01:03:52):
And my dad's like, well, why,why would they need uh teslas?
That doesn't make any sense.
I'm like, well, dad, you gottathink about it.
Like elon musk is wrapped intoway more than tesla's.
He's got his robotics industryup and running.
He's also got the spacex.
Oh well, not spacex so much.
I mean, spacex is what it is,but I mean that's more for
(01:04:13):
exploration than actuallyneeding to be like a military,
like great weaponry.
No, you never heard, neverheard about the Space Force.
Oh no, space Force is anAmerican.
Yeah, trump did that.
Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
Yeah, Trump did that
and SpaceX is helping with that.
Speaker 1 (01:04:29):
And SpaceX's main
thing is Starlink.
Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
Do you know what
Starlink is?
Yeah, that's what I yes, andthat's part of SpaceFab.
Speaker 1 (01:04:38):
Yes, starlink's,
where the money is, so to be
able to go ahead and runsatellites over an area and
blanket them in an area.
Space war, it's land war.
It's the fact that all of yourguys.
Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
Command and control
Right.
Speaker 1 (01:04:56):
All their headphones,
all of their walkie talkies,
everything are working, workingperfectly and they're going to
be able to communicate.
Well, yeah, on top of that, wehave the robots coming out, and
then Neurolex.
Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
Neuralink, neuralink
yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
Yeah, that particular
company Control computers with
my mind.
No, control robots with yourmind.
You could do that too.
Right, he's building the robots.
Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
I just want to be the
best at Call of Duty.
Just look at the screen likeworld champion.
Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
No, I want to get 700
kills under my belt.
Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
In real life.
Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
As an 80-year-old man
in his bed with Neuralink.
Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
Isn't there a movie
about that?
Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
My robot's just out
there killing for days.
Speaker 2 (01:05:38):
I feel like there's a
movie about that, where there's
real-life war going on butthere's kids that are playing
video games.
Yes, there is they don't evenknow or care that it's real war,
but they're just playing theirvideo game, killing people.
Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
Just murder.
Yeah, yeah, like ah, yeah, butit's real.
That's the angle I kind of wantto go with yeah, nice, get in
the neural link, just sit in mybed, piss myself and just go
slaughter.
Speaking of that, let's do that.
With that said, ladies andgentlemen, we appreciate you, as
always.
Thank you for coming.
Thanks for hanging out with uson the couches.
(01:06:13):
God bless you.
Please like, subscribe and allthat other garbage that we need
to do to try to rise up, be partof the communities, as
everybody else.
You know, we appreciate youguys.
Keep being conservative anddoing your thing and, as always,
fuck off.