The Couch Chronicles: Tech Rants and Zombie Plans

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Doug and Ryan explore how major corporations are increasingly controlling our devices through software limitations while charging extra for features already built into products we've purchased.

• Tesla builds cars with hardware for heated seats and premium audio but charges extra to "activate" them
• Verizon "deprioritizes" phone calls for customers who don't upgrade plans, creating artificial service problems
• The Fast and Furious franchise may have killed car culture rather than inspiring it
• Dangerous trends like street takeovers and subway surfing are claiming young lives
• Zombie survival tactics include securing ports and forming boat fleets rather than barricading in buildings
• The Right to Repair movement faces new challenges as cars become increasingly software-defined
• Elon Musk's ventures beyond Tesla include military applications through SpaceX, robotics, and Neuralink

Thanks for listening! Like, subscribe and join us next week for more unfiltered conversations on the couches.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the couches.
As always, this is your host.
Don't Know Shit, doug.
I'm hanging out on the couchtonight with Ryan.
Angelo decided to take the weekoff because he's a lazy son of
a bitch.
May you burn in hell, angelo.
Whole day, yep, yep, whole day.
Whole week.
He's gone.
He's gone.
Yeah, he left us.
Left us on the couch.

(00:24):
Yeah, hosting alone.
Nah, we miss you, buddy.
Yeah, you can still burn inhell, though, wow, torture him
so, ry.
How are you, buddy?
How was your week?

Speaker 2 (00:37):
My week was pretty good, not too bad.
Anything eventful happen, notreally it rained.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yeah, eventful happen , not really it rained.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
No, yeah, yeah you didn't have a protest in your
front yard or anything like that.
No, no, no, no.
I was driving around and I sawa uh, I saw a tesla with a
sticker on it that said I boughtthis before elon went crazy oh
well, ouch yeah I'm sorry, Idon't think I don't think elon
went crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
I think everybody just turned their back on him.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh, for sure no.
I don't believe the sticker,but I believe that it was a
liberal driving, oh well he'sdriving a Tesla.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
I was talking to my dad about this earlier today and
I'm like unfortunately.
I do appreciate the fact thatElon made the major sacrifice by
kind of walking away from hisbusiness to go and push for what
he believes in politically andunfortunately, going against the
liberal party was going againsthis like major consumer base

(01:34):
yeah elon, elon, you don'tdeserve this.
no, you don't, buddy, no youdon't, and sorry, I mean your
truck.
Uh, as cool as, like people say, it is, anybody on the
conservative side, they're goingto buy a Ford, they're going to
buy a Chevy, they're going tobuy your atypical American
backbone truck.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Savage trucks?
Not for me.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Not for me either.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Yeah, I like Elon man .
I was never into the cyberpunkscene like that futuristic thing
was never my jam.
No, Nah, no, no, no.
I only like neon for like ashort period of my life.
Oh a neon, yeah, like the neoncolors.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Oh, I thought you meant like the Dodge neon.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
No, no, no, I'm actually not too familiar with
that car.
Was it a decent car?

Speaker 2 (02:17):
No, it was a piece of shit, all right, I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
There's people out there who love them, I'm sure.
Yeah, probably Fans of thatshit.
I feel like I've still got minefrom 12th grade.
Yeah, still going strong.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah, it's a terrible car.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Is it still on the market?

Speaker 2 (02:36):
No.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
No, they no longer sell that model.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
No, there's people they like souped it up or
whatever.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
They sold parts for it, I think, but wasn't my cup
of tea is this like a honda,where you can just go down to
the like the store and buy like?

Speaker 2 (02:48):
it might.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
It might have been like uh, yeah, an answer to
honda you know, yeah, you pay ahundred dollars worth of parts
and you can get like another 20horsepower.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta know what you're doing, I
guess but um well, with honda,no, you just.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
I mean it's cheap, you just run it until the thing
pops.
Yeah, just get new parts.
They're like 20 bucks.
Go down, put the thing back in.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Economically, yeah, the vehicle is pretty good Honda
, that is, in terms of likelongevity and, yeah, the cost of
parts typically were cheaper.
I don't know how that is now.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Well, don't get me wrong.
I mean, honda makes one hell ofa dirt bike.
I mean, honda's four-stroke isa beast.
They're making Formula Oneracing engines now, which are
absolutely incredible, Really.
Oh yeah, no.
So I mean, they definitely havetheir hand in a lot of
different areas, but when itcomes down to, let's say, our
neck of the woods, the peoplethat are riding around in hondas

(03:42):
are buying them because theycan buy cheap parts for them and
they can soup them up and makethem look like fast and furious
cars yeah, yeah, well, that wasan era for sure.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
You know, the uh fast and the furious definitely
helped that era of people whowanted to modify their vehicles
and uh, do you think that era isover?
Or for most, I think it's done.
But uh, there are those guysout there who are like still
enthusiasts and are stillworking on them, those cars you
know to this day, and what'sfunny is like the vast majority

(04:13):
of them have problems withpolice stopping them with their
loud cars and stuff.
So like, uh, yeah, it was a fad.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
I'm sure there's a list there.
I think there's like domesticdisputes and like like strong
armed robberies up that alleylike yeah, I mean I've been.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
I wasn't really part of that scene, but I mean, you
know, I did drive around a lotas a, you know, a teenager or
whatever yo I I saw fast andfurious, they'll steal your safe
.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah and drive it down the road and bring a tank
with them, okay, so you gottawatch out for those type of
people.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, I think that was it, that wasn't, that wasn't
uh.
That movie was uh italian job.
Which one?
The mini coopers when they pullthe safe right, isn't that it?

Speaker 1 (04:51):
uh, they do that through the sewers, but I
believe in one of the fastestlater.
Fast and furious oh, no I thinkI think it was.
Yeah, there was like a doublecable that was one.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Oh, that was.
That was with the uh, yeah,with the rock, right uh yeah,
that one had the rock in it.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
He was in a couple of them and then john cena came oh
then it was it right.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Well, no, I mean they're coming up with a new one
, right?

Speaker 1 (05:11):
well, probably why not?
I mean, the franchise stillmakes money even though it's
absolutely terrible.
The newest one was at garbage.
I mean it was dog shit, but Isat through it.
I watched the whole thing, yeah, and like I was still rooting
for the like dog shit movie.
I enjoyed the first one, ohyeah, the first one.
I mean, most first movies, mostintroductory movies, are the
best I mean that's like whereyou start your journey with

(05:33):
these people and like,unfortunately, it's the second
and third movie, whether it waswritten part of like a chronicle
, where the author actually satdown and like thought it all the
way through.
Or the first one made a shitton of money, so they're like,
ah, we better make a second oneso we can make a shit more.
Like shit, more money.
And that's how it ruins.
The franchise is when, likethey, there is no actual

(05:54):
direction going from the firstone into the second one.
It's just a cash grab.
They're like we need more money.
This thing made us a shit tonof money.
Let's get all our writers to goahead and work on this thing.
And it's never as good as theauthentic thing that was created
out of someone's hardship orsomeone's happiness.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
I mean, the story did go on, so I don't Listen.
I watched it and I've seenquite a few of them.
I'm not a super fan or anythinglike that, but watching it know
, uh, yeah, there wasconsistency from the first one
to the second one.
There was still the same, aslong as I guess they included

(06:33):
some of the same members.
The plot was kind of different,right, but like you know, some
members were still there.
I don't remember the specifics,but I do remember there is some
.
The story continued, right, soit wasn't like it was completely
out of the water.
Weird surprise things kind ofwere supposed to happen.
Did they happen?
I don't remember, but it wasone of those franchises.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Hell of a storyteller .
Let me tell you If you everneed someone to come to your
campfire and keep you riveted,Are you on the edge of your seat
?

Speaker 2 (07:06):
Don't invite me, because I ain't going to have a
good story.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
You guys will go to sleep early that night.
I'm all over the fucking place.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
I remember the first one.
That's all I really cared about.
I think that there was somecohesiveness between the first,
second, third.
What was that girl's name?
Lottie or whatever?
What was that?
His girlfriend or his sister,or somebody like came back from
like the dead or some shit?
The problem is that I don'tremember the story and so I'm
like, ah man, I know that it was, it kind of followed, you know.

(07:35):
But anyway, I didn't even wantto talk about Honda's or any of
that stuff.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
I wanted to get into how strange elon musk was.
What?
What?
Hold on, okay, I'm sorry wedrifted, we did.
Oh well, I liked how you usedthat.
You used the car term yeah, wedrifted around that corner.
Okay, you go, all right.
Um, okay, we can roll back tonot that tokyo drift I mean,
yeah, um another, another fastand furious reference.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
All right, yeah, all day we're just gonna keep
throwing them out all night.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
We're just gonna I mean, yeah, another Fast and
Furious reference.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
All right, all day.
We're just going to keepthrowing them out all night.
We're just going to rant,though Like something else we're
going to bring one out?

Speaker 1 (08:15):
Nah, man.
So yeah, the Fast and Furiousfranchises were decent for what
they were.
I mean, they progressively gotworse and worse and then they
had to bring on larger andlarger actors to keep the boat
afloat.
And that's where we're at rightnow.
I mean guys like explosions,aliens and tits and aliens with

(08:39):
big, exploding tits.
So I mean you give them a moviethat's in that movie.
No, I was like I'm trying todig it out.
I don't remember Men in Black.
I was like I'm trying to dig itout.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
I don't remember Men in Black.
I'm all confused right now.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
Oh, you missed the fifth one.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
I guess so.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
That's when shit got weird.
They're like oh, chargers inspace, baby.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
What's with that man?
What's with all these moviethings going into space?

Speaker 1 (09:00):
Well, they kind of take it to space.
Space is the final frontier, Iguess.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
So I mean, what was it like Jason versus Freddie in
space, or something like that?

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Oh, no, no, no, Jason versus Freddie was back here,
like at Camp Crystal Lake.
They started off in what was it?
On Elm Street and from ElmStreet they were led back to
Camp Crystal Lake and that'swhere you had the big fight,
which wasn't that big of a fight.
I think they should have, like,really drawn that out a bit

(09:27):
bigger.
But that's from a big horrorfan.
So, yeah, they never went tospace, but Jason did.
Jason, actually, jason's like achildren's novel.
Yeah, jason goes to summer camp.
Jason goes to New York, jasongoes to.
Yeah, like Jason goes towherever, like Jason's on a new

(09:47):
adventure.
Where's jason going today?
Jason brought his machete andhe's off to see the camp.
Oh, jason brought his machete,he's off to see new york city.
And, like, we're on anotheradventure with jason vorhees.
So pack your bags and, ladiesand gentlemen, we're off to see
jason war.
He's on another adventure, yeahman.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
Um, we're just all over the place.
Oh, I'm sorry, yeah, but uh,yeah, so no, as far as like the.
So the reason we talked aboutthe cars in the first place was
about you know honda right andthe lemmas, but the honda thing
was that there was an errorright and I believe that fierce
and the furious made it happenor me, brought some more
attention to it, which is the uh, you know, auto enthusiast

(10:29):
hobby of like, uh, modifying andracing cars, right, um, but
yeah, so like, uh, well, as faras um that goes today, I don't
really think it's all thatreally there that much.
I mean, there's a big eurothing, um, more so than I think,
than the foreign terms of likehondas so do you think for us?

Speaker 1 (10:49):
and the furious like killed a generation, like that
was the end of it, because, ifyou think about it, there was
tons and tons of differentmovies about racing cars up
until that point.
So I mean, you had the what wasit?
Um, the good old boys, we justsome good old boys.
Um, duke's a hazard.

(11:11):
Yeah, they were about drivingfast cars and pushing moonshine.
And then you went from that to,uh, smoky and the bandit dude
got a trans.
Am, sexy shit like that wasawesome.
Burt reynolds doing his thing,yeah, like, yeah.
And so you had all that goingon up until fast and furious and
did fast and furious kill it.

(11:32):
For, like, the next generationwas.
They were like oh, I don't wantto be a car enthusiast if
that's what a car enthusiastlooks like um, maybe to an
extent, but I don't really thinkso.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
I, I think that, um, I think that there it definitely
just, you know, uh, glorifiedit a little bit and uh, people,
you know it opened up more doors, so to speak, to people who you
know they gained interest inenticed people.
Oh hey, check out this wholething that's happening here.
Is it real?
You know most people when theysee it and it's funny, like you

(12:03):
see it in the movies you're likeno, that's you know, but it is.
Nitrous oxide is real.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
Speaking of that, yeah, what is that little sport
that the Utes of the inner cityare doing these days, where they
do like donuts in the middle ofthe intersection?

Speaker 2 (12:20):
Oh, that's so stupid.
Yeah, yeah, so does that have aname?

Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yeah, intersection.
Oh, that's so stupid.
Yeah, yeah, so does that have aname?
Yeah, it's called streettakeover, street take wait.
No, that sounds like adance-off.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
No, it's called a street takeover.
So yeah, they've been doing it.
It's dangerous what they'redoing.
I mean listen, now there's atime and a place for like doing
donuts right, you know what I'msaying.
Yeah, I used to do them.
I ain't gonna lie, did them.
You know, everybody tried it.
You know what I'm saying, ofcourse, a parking lot.
Yeah, nobody around.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
Go to jones beach didn't want to really like.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
I wasn't trying to show off with my with my donut,
though you know I wasn't likemaybe a couple, maybe it was a
handful of people like in othercars, not a crowd.
Let me do fucking donuts.
Uh, uncontrollable donuts.
I mean, come on, man, andyou're like running over the
crowd.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
Oh, smacking them with society hurting people and
then you have idiots hangingoutside the car oh, and they're
falling off of it and they'regetting ran over by the same
vehicle.
Oh, it's brutal.
It's just like is that gen z?
Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
I guess that's the new motor scene instead of
actually driving your vehicle,you just go around in circles a
lot, act like like a total tardand just go hardcore, run each
other over oh, I've seen so manypieces get smacked off.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
The vehicle like it goes around in circles, hits a
light, light post, back fender,breaks off and you're like dude.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
My thing is like, yeah, the people that get hurt,
man.
And like the, the car flipsover and it falls on the fucking
people who are hanging outsidethe window.
And you know, luckily there'speople there who try to help the
people, but there's people, I'msure, who were affected to this
day permanently, like maybedisabled and or dead.
So, it's like why, why, why?

Speaker 1 (13:56):
If you were to put an urban Olympics together, do you
think we should make this partof the urban Olympics?

Speaker 2 (14:03):
An urban Olympics.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, yeah, so I'm thinking like the milk crate
game.
Yeah, so we do the milk crategame that was the hood olympics
yeah, the hood, oh hood,olympics okay, so they did it in
the hood, so do you think thisshould be an event as well?

Speaker 2 (14:17):
you know, we'll put the car out there I mean it's
kind of like a bull and it'slike who can get out of the ring
without I mean, it's one of thedumb things that people or I
should say younger people aredoing, and I don't know why.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
Well, I mean in the subways.
I honestly have heard theannouncements as you're going
through the subways and they'relike please do not climb on top
of the subways and surf thesubways.
It's moronic, you can getkilled.
And I'm killed and I was like,okay, and I've heard these for a

(14:48):
while, but it wasn't until Itook the, I think the r.
You saw somebody do it.
Yeah, I'm like, hey, I look, Ilook at the kids and the kids
come out and get in between thetwo carts and like they're
starting to climb up the chainand I'm looking at them.
Now, mind you, I've I like tolive on a little extreme in my
life.
I like to do a lot of crazythings, I mean okay, there's
nothing on the edge yeah, ifyou're not living on the edge,
you're taking up too much space.

(15:08):
I don't know who said that.
It's not my quote, but yeahit's a good quote.
So, yeah, I'm looking at thesetwo kids walking out and all of
a sudden they start climbing onthe chain to get on top of the
train and I think to myself I'mlike, oh man, like half of me,
like the kid in me, wants to gojoin them so I can understand
where the drive is, and the like, excitement and the

(15:29):
exhilaration of being able tolike get up and like face your
fears.
But then at the same time I'mlike there's a bunch of man-made
shit that can just decapitateme instantly up there, like I
mean thinking about the odds andyeah, you waited Right.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
You were like, hmm, the risk versus the thrill.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, the risk to reward?
I think the risk is way higher.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
It is yeah, you're like ah death or dismemberment
or some thrill.

Speaker 1 (16:01):
No, it could be.
No, like really think about thesituation could be way worse
than that, because those tunnelsI mean personally I don't walk
those tunnels, so I don't knowhow many times those tunnels are
walked.
When it comes down to likeprofessionals going through the
subways after the fact, yeah, soyou could actually like fall
off into the subways and be likesitting there like with a

(16:22):
broken hip not being able to getup.
You're oh yeah you're prettymuch like in the dark, in the in
the dark in the fucking traincoming in the nastiness in the
slime.
No, no, no with the rats you'dwant at this point in time you'd
kind of want to be close enoughto the train that it could take
you out oh now you're likeright, you're just like a little

(16:42):
blob, you're a gimp off theside of the train, like honestly
, there's too many things inthose sewer systems that would
like to eat you.
You know, like a horde of ratscomes through your dead meat, a
horde of cockroaches.
You want to be dead meat.
Like you, you'd want to beeaten by the rats.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
At that point, let me ask you a question.
Yeah, you, you ever seen Wile ECoyote?

Speaker 1 (17:01):
I have several times Roadrunner.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
I have you ever seen it when they go on top of the
train and then fucking get hitby the tunnel?
Yes, what Exactly?
I mean, I would never want that.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
You know what I'm saying, right?

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Exactly Like oh, I'm on top of a train, I'm chasing a
roadrunner.
Oh, wait a minute.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
I shuttle, boom, he hits the mountain.
You know well.
Yeah, come on, guys.
You've seen so many of themovies throughout time where
they decided to fight on top ofthe train and it never worked
out for the bad guy oh yeah, healways didn't look up in time to
see the thing, the like obscurething in his way that took him
off.
I mean, like the wolverinemovie and like what was it?
The trains, not train spotting,but the the train movie where
they're going through andthey're eating the bugs and the

(17:46):
candy bars.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
I don't know about that one.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
Oh yeah, I don't know that one, all the rich people
live in the front of the trainand all the poor people live in
the back of the train.
No, I don't know that.
And they're traveling over thefrozen earth, frozen tundra, oh
interesting.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah, not seen that one.
No.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
That's definitely a rainy day movie.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
I can never think of the name of it.
So you guys find out.
You guys can write in let usknow what that is.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
I know you guys know it, you're gonna be like dog.
You're such an asshole.
You don't know shit.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, don't know shit , doug yeah yeah, I mean, you
know there's a lot of thrillseekers out there.
You know I'm saying, and likepeople are always gonna be doing
crazy shit, whether it'sfucking climbing on top of
trains, surfing or fuckingscaling the side of buildings
with, just like you know,regular like rock climbing gear
and like tape on their fingers-yeah, but I appreciate that guy

(18:31):
yeah, yeah.
Well, you like the sport rightso I'm big into rock climbing.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
I love rock climbing like I've seen some videos.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
The other day the guy was like his hand was shaking.
He's like oh, I'm tired, I needto rest.
He's like a french guy, frenchguy.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Was that your French accent?
It tried.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
I like it.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
We should go to a French restaurant this weekend.
You can order everything.
No, I'm good.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
Anyway, yeah, so he's like panting and everything and
I'm like why?
I mean you know, and you knowwhat's crazy he's like.
He don't just go to the top, hescale back down.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
Wait, he climbed down .

Speaker 2 (19:06):
They go up and they go down.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
That's not a very smart idea.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
I don't know.
It's a proof of skill.
They have a statement thatthey're making.
Part of me thinks that thestatement I don't know what the
statement is exactly.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Don't eat meat.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
That might be part of it, that may be part of that
may be one of the statements,but I think the most the main
statement I think is that, likeyou know, the world used to be
what it was before there wasbuildings.
It was like mountains and treesand everything else Right.
And so now animals use monkeysand everything else.
Whatever he's able to climbthings, now they can't.
They can't climb the skyscraper, you know.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
Right.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
You'll?
They fucking like a chimpanzee,just fucking bolt out the woods
and start climbing up thefucking skyscraper.
You don't see that.

Speaker 1 (19:46):
Well, I mean like in concept.
Yeah, when it comes down tolike some of these
post-apocalyptic movies, you seehow like New York City has been
, like retained by Mother Nature, and plants are growing all
over.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
Oh yeah, when it takes over, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
Which would happen if we allowed it to.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
It's like seven days or like eight days after, like
life stops on earth or whatever,and like they show you, like
what it would look like.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
Like the overgrowth.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
I'm like damn, seven days, that's it.
What the hell?
No, no, no.
They're working hard to keepthat grass back.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
Exactly.
Better not get rid of thoseillegal immigrants I'm just
thinking of, like the fuckingchia pet where it grows green.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
You know when you put the seeds on it.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, that shit doesn't grow that big in a week.
It takes like 28 days to getlike big and puffy you know,
speaking of 28 days later, youknow what's crazy.
Hold on a second, you knowwhat's crazy what when you go to
the like, the health foodstores where all the richy-rich
girls go in to buy the smoothieshakes and whatnot.
Okay, yeah, you know chia seeds.
Yes, yeah, it's the same shit.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Well, yay, yeah, ch-ch-ch-chia, I guess they just
grow, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
So you.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, yeah, Well, I guess I don't know.
I mean, maybe they roast themor something and they're just
non-functional.
But if you could literally justtake them and not have to like
just throw them in the groundand to grow, then spread them on
your chia thing, Then that'samazing.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
Right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, yeah, oh man, I forgot what talking about
before that though oh, I'm sosorry.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
I didn't mean to interrupt.
I don't want to be that guyyeah, I totally blasted it.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
That thought is gone.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
Oh my bad.
Well, you know what, guys, youcan eat chia seeds oh yeah, 28
days later came right back inthere.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
Another thing, speaking about memory, real
quick.
Did you know, supposedly, ifyou would have like been like oh
man, it was 28 days later.
You were talking about it.
Actually like it, it doesn't.
I guess it hurts your brain orsomething.
Like if somebody corrects youLike, let's say, you can't
recall it yourself, you likelose the ability to like your
recollition.
Oh my God, your ability torecall like you lost some of it.

(21:58):
Oh, it's like an exercise orsomething.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Yeah, wow.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah, I mean listen, this is what I was told.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
Is it kind of like when someone knows you're about
to sneeze and they say bless youbefore you sneeze, and then it
stops the sneeze from coming?
Yeah, and you're like ugh, yeah, but you're still like your
body still wants to sneeze.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
Your face hurts.
Yeah, yeah, I hate everythingabout you.
Yeah yeah, you're not welcometo my house anymore.
Yeah, it's like that.
It's like deep in the mind.
You're like ugh, you know.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
But anyway, you stole my thunder.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
I was supposed to remember that fact it came out
28 years later I believe is thename of the new movie.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Yeah, but is it going to be good?

Speaker 2 (22:38):
I mean, it's about zombies, right.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
And like the blood.
Well, I mean, there's been somegood zombie like the germs or
whatever the virus.
Some great zombie movies andthere's been some shit zombie
movies, so I don't remember howthe last one ended the 28 days.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah, um, I know some like guy was sitting in like a
crow, like was eating some shitand the blood went in the dude's
eye and he's like he becamelike the zombie shit oh yeah, I
remember that.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
My favorite part about that, I have to say, was
the gentleman that went andcollected all the shopping carts
.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
What, yeah, I remember that.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Oh, it was in the skyscraper.
It was towards the beginning ofthe movie.
I'll check it out.
So he went to the skyscraperand this guy decided to go
around and grab all the shoppingcarts and he filled up the
hallway in the stairwell withshopping carts, ah, and it
stopped the zombies fromclimbing to get through.
Yeah, because that's a verycomplicated climb to get through

(23:33):
.
It's very like yeah, fuckingall bent up chart.
Yeah, yeah, exactly so.
When I saw that, I was like,wow, that was that's very
impressive.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Like I'm taking notes .
Yeah, exactly, yeah right.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
I still don't think I would ever bottle myself up
inside of an apartment building.
Yeah, I don't think that wouldbe smart business.
I mean, in a zombie apocalypseCamp out on the roof, we all
have our different.
No, no way, man, I think you'restinking yourself on an island
to die.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
Well, if they're zombies, they'll be trying to
climb up, and if you do those,the wagon thing won't be so bad.
Or if you put some other kindof traps, maybe not so bad, but
assuming that they did make itto the roof my dude, have you
ever been you?
Might have a better chance ofjust like you know, fighting
them a little bit and likepushing them off the roof.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
I'm not just worried about zombies, man.
You gotta think about the, thetar roof I'm standing on,
depending on what time of year.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Worry about cooking yeah, it could be 110 degrees up
on that roof I don't have toworry about that.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
I'm gonna I'm gonna be dehydrated and dying on the
roof all by myself and I don'tget the ability to pop up and
start running around eatingpeople I mean, you know, I'm
just gonna be a crisp corpse ontop of a building that got
dehydrated.
So you got to think about, like, where you're going to be
strategically.
I think for me personally, yeah,it'd be fleet of boat style

(25:00):
you've heard of uh arma I wouldgo around and collect an armada
of boats and like that's, that'show I think we'd travel is by
boat, because ports have a lotof things in them and they're
easily accessible and you canget a majority of the things
from robbing ports and notrobbing, but, you know,
accumulating because nobody'sliving on the planet anymore, so

(25:22):
it's not like you're actuallytaking your facility, but going
around to the different portsections and going through the
different boxes and stuff.
I think you would stay alive,for, for, and actually live
pretty well by collecting thingsthat are coming and going out
of a country, um, for, for agood while, cause that most
people think about going tostores and stuff like that.

(25:44):
Uh, you know, stop it as itcomes in and as long as you guys
have a nice structured way ofaddressing uh, going into these
different sections, you guys canmake sure that your flanks are
and everything's well protected.
as you're going in, you'reaccumulating all your equipment
yeah and then, once you get it,you get back out on the boats.

(26:05):
You get a large enough boat,you keep acquiring bigger boats
until the point where you haveenough people that you've saved
and accumulated.
And then you have a nice littlefleet, including a couple
cruise lines, and then, yeah,you've got floating cities.
Fuck it.
You know what?
Let the zombies have the land.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
So there's a video game out there.
It's for the PC.
It's called Armor.
I think it's like Armor 2 orArmor 3.
They came out with a Years ago.
They made like a DayZ mod andyou could play.
It was zombies, essentially.
Okay, dayz, you know.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah, I know, dayz.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
And you played as a survivor Okay, and it was based
on real time and, like yourcharacter, was your character
for the, for the, for the world.
So, like you entered the world,you had to find a place to say
like to stay.
You had to forage and findthings and then, like you could
talk, there was other people inthe game.

(27:02):
You had to watch out for otherpeople in the game Cause they
want to kill you and take yourstuff.
Yeah, but yeah, and it was basedon the game, it didn.
The game didn't have like asafe point Like you would.
You'd have to, like, sleep orhide somewhere and the next day
you were still in that place.
And every day you progress, youtry to progress and survive.
It's pretty sick.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
I've played a couple of those games.
There they are, but once againthose things give me anxiety.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Yeah, I'm telling you like sleeping, you know you
wake up in the morning.
You're like sleeping, you wakeup in the morning, you're like
damn, I wonder if my guy died.
Yeah, Somebody come hunt me inthe night, or maybe a zombie.
You wake up, you turn it on andit's like you died.
Fuck yeah, like what the fuck?
Who killed?
Me, you don't even know, youhave no idea.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Like right before you went to sleep under that bush,
you got like the most coolhelmet or something.
You accumulated somethingawesome and you're like I can't
wait to get back on there anduse this item.
Come to find out, somebody cameby and snuffed you out while
you were sleeping.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
What was cool about Arma was that it was based on
the time zone that the serveryou were logged in on.
So if you logged in on a serverthat was in the Eastern
Standard Time, it would be thesame.
So when it's daylight, realdaylight, it's daylight in the
game, and when it's nighttime.
It's nighttime in the game.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
That's what you meant by that.
See, I thought you said armorwas based on time, and so if
you're in the Japanese timeperiod of 1 o'clock, then you
get a kimono.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
You thought it was like, yeah, that'd be era.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
Like yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
Like 1920s zombies.
What would it be like?

Speaker 1 (28:39):
Get six shooters and like get to walk around like
wild bill.
That's awesome, I dig that.
Yeah, yeah, somebody make thatfor me.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
Yeah, we want to have a uh, an era.
You know we want to have an era.
We want to visit a certain timeperiod like 1950s.
That's been done probably right.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, no, no, we need different eras, we need to take
this back.
We need Jesus, zombies okay.
I want to be Paul at the LastSupper and then pick up
something at the Last Supper tofight off the zombie horde
that's coming through the Gardenof Yosemite.
Okay, that's what I want.
Yeah, yeah, Okay.
I want to go back to the Greekmythology of like the Battle of

(29:22):
Troy and like, as the Battle ofTroy and the two armies are
coming and he's coming up to thewall, all of a sudden, just
like zombie, like pops out andjust starts eating the whore,
like eating one person, and thewhore just keeps going
throughout the entire.
Like the entire field and justyeah bring me like, bring me to
like amazing historicallocations, and then add a zombie

(29:46):
horde yeah, zombies.
The middle of rome, awesomegladiator event about to happen.
All the kings and queens aremoving in to see this giant
event.
Yeah, and then, all of a sudden, a zombie horde breaks out in
the middle of ancient Rome.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
You know what's funny ?
There's guys out there who dothat stuff and I've seen it
online already where I't knowwhy it was harry potter versus
kermit the frog my money's onkermit all day.
Yeah, but it was like an armyof kermit the frogs, oh, like,
oh, like a million somethingkermit the frogs versus like six
harry potters who won?

Speaker 1 (30:28):
kermit the frog the fuck he did.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
I mean, they battled pretty good.
There was like bodies.
There was so many dead bodiesof Kermit the Frog.
There was a mountain and theywere fighting on the mountain of
dead bodies of Kermit the Frogstill, which is pretty crazy.
But yeah, it makes you wonder.
Like well, anybody can buildgames now.
You just download the engineand well, that's a tutorial, and

(30:53):
that's it, I'm in.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
That's like how many, how many, what was it?
How many 12 year olds do youthink you could beat up if I was
to send you into a room andlike, let's, let's say
hypothetically speaking- legit12 year old legit 12 year olds.
If I was to send you into aroom and be like you, you you
have to like be able to knockout this many 12-year-olds,

(31:16):
otherwise you lose, right?
How many 12-year-olds do youthink you could actually
legitimately fight and knock outbefore the horde overrides you
and just completely swarms you?

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Well, so in this sense, you know, we're talking
about Kermit the Frog, who is ofcertain stature.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
And the entirety of the army of Kermit the Frog are
the same.
So the question is will these12-year-olds all be the same
stature?

Speaker 1 (31:46):
Roughly, roughly.
We're gonna make sure that theystay Roughly.
Yeah, we're gonna make surethey stay within like a 20 pound
.

Speaker 2 (31:54):
So they're like a hundred pounds, maybe, maybe,
maybe, how many?

Speaker 1 (31:59):
They're scraping.
That depends on you.
That depends on your number.
You have to be the one to like,set that bar.
Yeah, you have to be like, Ithink.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
No weapons, just hands.
If it's like no weapons andhands, what are we talking about
?
Like 100 kids?
I mean that's going to be rough.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
Okay, you can't bring weapons with you.
You can't bring like Tonkas orsomething like that to knock
these kids out.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Right.
How many kids though we startedwith?

Speaker 1 (32:26):
I mean, oh, you mean in the pit at the same time.
Yeah, you mean like all at oncewe're coming up with these
hypotheticals.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
We got to at least set the bar.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
We'll do it.
We'll do it, royal Rumble style.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
Oh, they're going to be coming in.
Yeah, we're going to be settingthem.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
in every two minutes We'll set a new one in.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Oh man, I think I'd get gas pretty early.
But if we were doing RoyalRumble style, I don't know man,
Maybe 20.
And then I'll be fucking tiredafter that.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
You have to knock them out oh knock them out.
Yeah, knock them out.
You can't just punch them inthe face and be like, oh, I got
a couple tags in on that kid.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
I mean, I don't know how the chin is on these
children we're talking about.
We're talking about, you know,getting a little crazy right now
.
First of all, I never want toattack any child, oh this is
hypothetical.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
I said that in the beginning, hypothetically
speaking.
Yeah, no children were harmedin the making of the show.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
No, I mean, you know, if you had to fend it off, you
had to do what you had to do.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
I mean oh no, you can do either style.
You can do a defend off if youwant to like back into a corner
feel better about it, yeah, andmake sure that they swing first
before you swing, okay it wasfunny if that makes you feel
good or you can go to like totalconan barbarian style.
But as far as weapons areconcerned, I think like we're
gonna put it in an average areawe're not going to put it in a

(33:54):
boxing ring and you can use theelements of the room.
So if there's a television inthe room, if you want to smack a
child with television, you havethe ability to.

Speaker 2 (34:04):
If you want to take a dresser and tip it over on them
, you got that ability.
So what I can say is I recentlysaw a video of a 16-year-old
kid knocked the crap out of aguy that was like 40.
So we can just tell you rightoff the bat.
I can tell you the age don'tmatter, size doesn't necessarily
matter either, and the reasonwhy I know that is because the

(34:24):
kid wasn't that.
First of all, the kid was waymore agile than the older guy.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
I put these little guys at 12, okay, they don't
have testosterone runningthrough them.
They haven't really built upanything.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
They haven't started that yet.
Right, exactly yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
They're just big enough to put their head at your
normal arm swinging range.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
Yeah, but the problem is, once you get more than five
of them, you're going to have atough time if they're all
working together.
Cause cause, I mean okay.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
So now my question is where are you going to find
three 12 year olds that aregoing to get along, enough that
they're going to actually makeit like just?

Speaker 2 (35:06):
like.
So you just talk about,hypothetically speaking, about
some kids hanging out in a roomand you just walk in like what's
up, motherfuckers.
You just like what's up,motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
And then some of them are like don't touch me and you
just beat their ass.
What?

Speaker 2 (35:16):
are you talking about ?
I don't want no part of this.
And he's trying to run out.
You're like, come here, timmy,and he's fucking slapping her.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
It's KO time.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
You're going to sleep .

Speaker 1 (35:29):
What the hell.
You got some crazy imagination.
I got to say I'm not the firstperson to bring that up, okay?

Speaker 2 (35:35):
So that question is like oh, okay, yeah, that
question is this is next.
Right, this question is rollingaround on the internet.
Who brought it up?

Speaker 1 (35:41):
I forgot the first person.
Oh yeah, in fact, I probablydon't know the first person.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Oh, but I know I've seen quite a few times, so I
decided to throw it in yourdirection and see how you felt
about it.
I have no desire to hurtchildren or be in a fight with
them, but I had it.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
What if they were grown men that were the size of
12-year-olds?

Speaker 2 (36:04):
If that makes you feel better about this situation
, Now, I don't want to hurt onthe dwarf population, little
people, whatever you're called.
You don't want to hurt on thedwarf population or the little
people, whatever you're called.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
You don't want to hurt on them like Snow White did
.
Oh, that's messed up.
Seven careers down the drain.
No man, no, I say that with abig heart, honestly, like a lot
of times.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
I say it, I do, I say things that are just like.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
I say them because they're like raw and funny.
Right To be honest with you.
No, that's fucked up.
What they did with like Disneydid I mean they took like four
or seven awesome careers plusseven backup actors plus
stuntmen.
So you're talking like 15, 20,like little people that could
have had awesome jobs.
What?

Speaker 2 (36:51):
Little people are Fisher Price things.
Oh dwarves, I don't think theylike dwarves either.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
Well, it's in the fucking name of the movie, bro.
What am I supposed to do withthat?
Okay?

Speaker 2 (37:02):
Snow White and the Seven Small People.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yeah, fuck that, they're dwarves.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
And you say it to make it sound even more
Viking-esque.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
Say it with an English accent Dwarves the
Dwarven kind.
Yeah, so all right.
Yeah, but honestly that wasseveral amazing careers that
were thrown into the trashbecause they didn't even know
what the hell to do with theirmovie.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
No.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
First they made Snow White and the Seven Weird
Magical Things and then thepublic was like, yeah, we're not
accepting anything to do withtheir movie.
No, first they made like snowwhite and the seven weird
magical things and then, like,the public was like, yeah, we're
not accepting anything to dowith that.
And they're like, oh no, oh, wedidn't mean seven magical
people, we meant seven dwarvesoriginally, like like we had in
the original movie.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
And then they went off and made these weird ai
abominations so are you tellingme there was an actual cast
before the ai stuff?

Speaker 1 (37:55):
uh no, it was first ai stuff and then turned into
second ai stuff.
So first of all, oh okay therewas seven magical creatures that
weren't dwarves, nor were male.
So let me ask you a questionyes, the guys who voiced them.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Yes, were they dwarves?
No, they were not dwarves aswell.
Right, well, if I was part ofthe dwarf union, I would be
fucking suing the pants office.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Oh, me too.
I mean, I'm an uproar.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
How dare you not include us in your movie?

Speaker 1 (38:19):
I wish I was short enough to be involved.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
I get out there and like protest, but I mean it
doesn't.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
It doesn't have the same punch when you're six foot
two yeah you know right, it'd bemuch more of like an impact if
I was, I don't know.
Three foot two, three foot twoyeah, then I'd be coming in with
that dwarfism badassness doingthat mini me.
Yeah, no, no, dude, no, not,not mini me at all.
No, I'd come in straight uplike, uh, one of the dudes from

(38:49):
lord of the rings, yeah, yeah,with the big badass battle axe
on my back and the whole ninesinging Misty Mountains, okay,
yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
A little different.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Yeah, oh, real different.
No, I'll be coming in with astatement A little more tough,
of course.
What do you want me to be partof the Lollipop Guild?
Fuck a bunch of that noise,yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
I want you to be the lollipop kids.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
We would like to welcome you hell, no, no, I
wouldn't be the, I couldn't gothat well.
I mean, he really, I guess,comes down to the body you're
given as a dwarf.
Do you look more like alollipop?

Speaker 2 (39:27):
kid, do you look more like a?
I think I would just say yeah,first of All, I got for kids man
, crazy looking hair and shit.
But Munchkins, yeah, inMunchkin land.
Right, they weren't pissedabout that.
That was the 50s bro, they wereactually happy.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
That was one of the most High paying jobs Of the
time For actors yeah, Dangerous.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
Dangerous too.
They didn't give a fuck If yougot like Poisoning cancer.
They didn't give a fuck.
If you got like poisoningcancer, dot whatever, hung
yourself in a tree in thebackground, they didn't give a
fuck.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
They didn't know man.
It wasn't like they knew theywould just be like yo.
We got this cool paint.
It looks like metal.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
We're going to slap it over your body.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Jim, you look like you're dying bro.
It's like why are you throwingup buddy?

Speaker 2 (40:08):
Exactly Spray this, exactly, greatest guy with oil,
are you?

Speaker 1 (40:15):
are you sure you got all the paint?

Speaker 2 (40:16):
off, he looks pretty red.
Oh man, that's crazy dude, it'scrazy.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Oh yeah, with that aluminum paint was god awful?
That freaking lion suit madethe dude sweat to death.
Yeah, like there was a lot oflike horrific things, and that's
not the only movie.
Like that was just likehollywood as a whole.
You want to be on the bigscreen.
You're gonna get hurt, boy.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
Yeah, oh man I saw something recently about the
fucking uh, the wizard of oz.
I forgot what it was, though oh, another thing.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
Yeah, I gotta say, man, like, when it comes down to
that movie, there's so muchshit that's wrapped around it
and so many things that peoplelook for.
I mean between the gay thingsand between the pink floyd
things and between the dudehanging himself in the
background and all the othercraziness that went on for that

(41:10):
movie.
Honestly, I think it's one ofthe best movies for the hype.
You know what I mean.
There's just so much stuff thatpeople have made up over the
years because, honestly, that'sone of the oldest movies and
everybody's seen it because it'sa children's movie.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
I'll be straight up honest with you, dude.
That shit scared the shit outof me as a child.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I know some kids thatwere scared of the monkeys.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
No, I didn't mind the monkeys Flying monkeys.
I didn't like the imagery.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
What are you?
What like Dorothy I mean 95% ofit is Dorothy in the beginning.
Then you see the weird fuckingbubble witch.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
No, as soon as it went into Dollar Tree store
coloring that's when I was justlike oh, with the green and yeah
, I didn't like the imagery Idon't want to go back to the
black and white, please exactlyplease, no type of color.
Can we go back to like a decentmovie where, like, the imagery
looked fine?
I understand you were trying tosell colored televisions like
hardcore back in the day, yeah,but I don't want to be I.

(42:11):
I and I was born much furtherin the future than that, but I
don't want to be involved inthat.
Like I understand what it wasand now it's like I don't know.
The big rainbow flag for thegay society yeah, but once again

(42:33):
.
I don't want to be wrapped inthat.
I don't want to watch that.
That's not for me.
There's a lot of things thatare for me and they're really
fucked up, most of them they'rereally fucked up.
Oh yeah, dude, I really enjoylike weird off the, off the wall
, not ordinary things.
I do appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
I love obscure humor which I mean, yeah, I like all
kinds of you know it don'tmatter to me.
I mean I don't get crazy aboutit, oh, I hate dad jokes.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
Man, you don't like the dad jokes?
No, I can't.
I can never let them come frommy lips.
Really yeah it's just not in me.
I'm like, yeah, I just don'tlike it, like what?

Speaker 2 (43:24):
Let's hear one of them dad jokes.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
I hate puns Like oh, why can't you hear?
Or pterodactyl, go to thebathroom I don't know why
because the p is silent.
Okay, oh yeah, that's a dadjoke, that's a dad joke.
Yeah, yeah, it's a spellingjoke.
You know, it's like one ofthose things that you're like I

(43:48):
guess it's.
I mean, if I really have tothink about it, yeah, I guess I
appreciate that in some kind ofweird obscure way.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, yeah, all right .
So, yeah, man, I don't know.
Oh yeah, right, right, there's.
Like.
You know, why don't skeletonsfight each other?

Speaker 1 (44:05):
Because they don't have the guts yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
Yeah, right, right.
I told my wife she shouldembrace her mistakes.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
She gave me a hug, dude, stop Please.
I fucking hate these things,these are brutal.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
Why don't eggs chill jokes Because they might crack
up Shut?

Speaker 1 (44:24):
up Swear to God dude.
I fucking despise this.
I got five going.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
I'll let you know which onecomes first.
On this note, I'm gonna let yourun your jokes the last one is
what did the zero say to theeight?
Nice belt, I don't get that one.
Oh, I guess, because it's azero with a twist in it to make

(44:54):
it an eight.
Yeah, that must be what it is.
Yeah, dad jokes, uh, they arepretty terrible.
I wouldn't mess with them.
I'm not gonna mess with them.
Let's see.
Oh, hold on a second here.
Let me see if I could run ussome, run us some stuff.

(45:16):
Okay, no, there's nothing goodhere.

(45:38):
This is all ridiculous.
I'd like to welcome you.
Yeah, man, you left me hanginghere by myself here.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
Sorry, you lit it up with those whole dad joke things
.
I decided to use that as a goodtime to go take a piss.
I'm just holding it.
Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, Ihad to step out for a second
while he went on that rant.
That's not my jam.
Yeah, man, gotta go on the rant.
I like the like I said obscure,weird out of the ordinary,

(46:14):
honestly Terrible I know I am.
I am very bad.
Nothing makes me like I'll bewatching a movie and the most
obscure, like punch to the facehappens and I burst out laughing
in the most serious of themovies.
And just because I meanhonestly, if you were in that
situation and you saw thathappen and you were standing out

(46:36):
in front of a bar, that'd befunny.
Or if you're standing out infront of a coffee shop and one
dude just like punches the otherdude in the mouth, like oh that
that's hilarious.
At least I feel so yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
But, you're like do you like the slapstick?
They call it slapstick.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
No, no, no, no, no, it's not.
I don't like slapstick forslapstick it has to be like a
serious thing for me to be like,oh, that's fun, that's obscure,
that's weird, yeah yeah.
Not like an intentional like,oh, who were those guys back in
the day, the Three St stooges?

(47:13):
No, I, I despise that.
Nah, they weren't my.
I wasn't a fan of that either,but I like marks and the marks
brothers in my jam.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
Yeah, don't know that no, you don't.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
No, um, you don't remember the gentleman with the
big mustache and big eyebrowswith the cigar.
Oh yeah, that's groucho okayyeah, that was a big one and a
lot of people like would use himin their comedy skits yeah,
yeah, yeah yeah, even bugs bunnydid that, of course he did.
I mean, groucho's a fuckinglegend.
Yeah, honestly, uh, horsefeathers the whole nine.

(47:39):
Like guys.
I really know my shit when itcomes down to this, so I don't
want to say anything in thecomments, like he's not really a
marks fran, like shit.
I know my shit, so dreams abouthim a nut I honestly like chico
the most.
Harpo was like your majorslapstick kind of comedy guy
yeah, so each jolly chaplain.
Each brother had their own likeaspect of like what they did for

(48:03):
their comedy team and broughttogether this like full aspect
of different comedies allwrapped into one movie, which
which was brilliant and you'dnever see that kind of shit
again.
And unfortunately they only hada budget that was so big to be
able to produce the movies thatthey did.
If they had the budgets oftoday, with their comedy of

(48:24):
yesteryear dude, oh my God,those things would be priceless.
Yeah, they'd be epic, epic,amen.
I hear that be priceless.
Yeah, yeah, they'd be epic, epic, yeah, man I hate that, but
it's the things I hold on to.
It's the little things.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yeah, hold on to those little things look exactly
we hold on to a little thingevery night.
We know that every half hour orso when you're gonna piss.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
You're holding on to a little thing wow bro, you and
ang Always talking about my dick.
Hey man, I wish it was as smallas you guys said it was.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
Yeah, then I wouldn't have to buy an extra seat when
I flew on planes?

Speaker 1 (49:03):
Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
I have to get the extra space guys.
It's not fun, Exactly.
I got to pay more.
You know what it's like.
I pay more.
You know what it's like.
Yeah, I can't cross my legs.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
I cannot cross my legs.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
Yeah, I am incapable of doing those things.
Oh, man, you know what's crazyman?
I can hear that thing the buzz,yeah, yeah, sucking it, yeah,
getting your puff on your fruitypuff, honestly, yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
It is what it is.
Yeah, I am a creature of mycrutches and I know this.
Okay, and I've comfortably got.
Well, I've become comfortablewith those skeletons in my
closet.
Yeah, yeah, I've accepted who Iam.
What can change me?
What's the serenity prayer?
God, give me the strength toaccept me for who I am.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
I don't know.
I've got to remember it.
I didn't do AA though.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
That was good enough for me.
It worked.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
The audience got it.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
They understood what I was talking about.
Yeah, he did.
He did that one guy it works.
The audience got it.
They understood what I wastalking about.
Yeah, yeah, he did.
He did that one guy.
We appreciate you, man.
Yeah, this one goes out to you,this Michelob.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
Michelob Ocho.

Speaker 1 (50:25):
Yeah, man Strangers in the night.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
It's a superior light beer Only 95 calories.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Yeah, you know what?
Do you see the oil show?
No, landman, no, oh, landman,landman, nope.
Oh, that is a show, is it?
It's a really good one.
You got to watch that one.
I don't know what is it on.
It is on Peacock.
Oh, don't have that.
Oh shit, too many subscriptions, can't have that one.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Actually I might be able to get that one, though I
think actually I do have thatone, oh it's definitely worth it
, I think.
I got that over somebody else.
It's one of those things youknow.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
No, he pays full price for it.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Yeah, full price.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
Hey, man, listen, it's crazy, right?
So, like netflix, all thesethings, you know people shared
them, they know that it'shappening, and then they, like
you know they threatened and belike, ah, we're gonna stop it.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
and I have to say out of everybody.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
I think the only one that really did was netflix.
They actually shut that shitdown like no, they didn't.
If you want to share it andit's not a family plan, yeah,
when you're in the samehousehold, it's a little
different, no, no.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
They started charging for extra accounts.
They're like oh, we see thatanother account's on your like
watching this and you've reachedyour max viewing account.
So if you want to expand yourviewing account, you must pay
this amount.
Yeah, right, right.
So it's not that they got ridof your subscription, they're
just demanded you pay for whatyou're using.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
No, no, they don't cancel you.
But yeah, exactly like you andyour four brothers, you and your
four buddies want to watchnetflix, not a problem yeah,
they want you to pay more.
Yeah, we're gonna roll that intoyour only monthly sum yeah,
yeah, exactly, you know, andit's crazy too, like like Disney
, maybe it is Disney, well,actually, maybe even Amazon.

(52:18):
So Amazon advertises, likeshows or whatever, and I think
now Amazon does a thing withParamount and then Paramount has
a showtime under it, so like ifyou want to watch showtime, you
need a subscription to showtime, but you also need a
subscription to paramount yes,what the hell.
And then if you it's like whatyou know, and I think amazon's

(52:39):
thing was just like we're gonnaadvertise with them and whatever
, but yeah, it was kind of crazy, man.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
Well, it actually comes down to the fact that you
can either buy or use yoursubscription.
So they're like yeah, we thisthing, and if you don't have the
subscription you can go aheadand buy it from us over here.
But if you do have thesubscription, we'll go ahead and
pop you over your applicationthat you do have it on and you
can go ahead and watch it fromthere, since you're already

(53:04):
paying your monthly fees forthat.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
It's funny.
So, like you know, when I usedto have cable and I think I had
like basic fucking cable, Ididn't even have, I didn't have
like HBO or any of that shit andI was paying in 2006, we're
talking $130 a month.
Oh yeah, and I got internet.
So I'm like wondering like now,you know, I pay for Sling,

(53:29):
that's 60 bucks.
I pay for Netflix, that'sanother like $15.99.
That's another $15.99.
So that's like $16 or whatever,$17 with tax or whatever.
Yeah, then you got HBO Maxthat's $15.99.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Wait a minute.
What's your phone subscription?
My phone oh.
Verizon?
Yeah, call it Verizon.
You get one of those guys forfree.
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Yeah, oh, verizon, yeah, call up Verizon, you get
one of those guys for free.

Speaker 1 (53:55):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah, you've not been like Ihaven't been in the loop.
Yeah, you got to haggle withyour All right guys?
I'm throwing this out to allyou guys, every single one of
you.
Anyone listening to me rightnow?
Call up your phone company andtell them to give you whatever

(54:16):
freebie they have for the month,because you've been a loyal
subscriber for a long time andyou're giving out freebies to
the new people that came alongthat are fucking yeah, we're mad
as heck and we're not gonnatake it anymore well, no, I did
it.
All the time I've done in myentire life, I've always
renegotiated my contract with myphone company and I've called
them up and I'm like, hey, I seeyou have a new commercial right
now we're giving away this typeof phone.
Huh, so you're giving away a 15$1,500 phone.

(54:39):
How dare you to the new guy andI'm over here as a loyal
customer and you ain't giving meshit.
So, yeah, and honestly, everytime I fucking try to play
hardball with them, they're likeoh well, sir, please off the
ledge, you don't need to go toour competitor, please stay with
us.
We appreciate you.
You can have it too.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
You know what's crazy , what's up Talking about cell
phones, stuff like that?
So I got two lines with Verizonand I was on some plan that
they don't have no more, so theyjustued the plan.
It was a pretty good plan.
I liked it because I got thehotspot for free, unlimited
everything.
It was $60 a line.
Back in the day I kept it and Iheld on to that shit.

(55:24):
But out of nowhere my phonestops working.
Right, try to make a call,nothing.
Sometimes it works, sometimesit doesn't.
Happened on the same exactweird shit Happened on both
lines.
I call up Verizon I'm like, oh,what's going on, man, the
fucking phone stopped working.
Oh, I don't see anything wronghere.
Oh, sir, you're beingdeauthorized.
I'm like what?
Yeah, you're beingdeprioritized.

(55:44):
I'm like I'm not prioritized.
What if you pay more on thisplan?
Then you have a better priority.
So like we won't knock off yourphone call.
So I'm like, are you kidding me?
They're like, no, in highcongestion areas, the bills that
the people who are paying morefor the higher, ultra wide band
or whatever, get priority overthe ones who don't.
And I'm like, oh, wow, that'scrazy.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
So, anyway, I had to talk to her for a few minutes.
Where are you located right now?

Speaker 2 (56:18):
I would like to go and talk to you about this face
to face, like you're bringingout the urge that we need to
have a yeah, it was crazydiscussion.
But after speaking to him forlike a you know a few minutes or
whatever, it came out that theysqueezed me for two dollars,
like a month, you know, and I'mlike all right, and then I got
everything.
I upgraded the plan, I was ableto get, get prioritized, all
the problems with my phone wentaway.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
Wait, they squeezed you for $2?
$2.
$2 a month, yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
After everything, taxes, fees, all that it was
only $2 because the plan that Ihad $24 a year.
Yeah, oh man.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
Yeah.
So I was like you know,whatever, I don't care, I'd be
so angry, I'd be so angry.
You made me so hostile andangry over such a situation for
$2.
And you're a huge company.
Why don't you just eat thatshit?
Why don't you eat the $24?

Speaker 2 (57:04):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
You're going to make a hostile.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
You might actually make me want to leave your
patience, I guess the moral ofthe story is that you know,
listen, at some point your planmay become, you know, defunct.
It's old, it's this.
You know, whatever you think,you used to be the grandfather
it used to be.
Just keep it forever and itwould work great.
Now they turn in screws on thatshit and your phone works like
shit we'll see here's okay.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
All right, here we go for 360.
We're coming all the way backto the beginning.
This is my problem with Teslas.
Okay, fucking Tesla.
Ow, if I buy a car and it's gota gadget or gizmo in it, it
better fucking work.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
Why?
Because I bought that car andthat car came with that gizmo
right Gotcha.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
Yeah, I mean it came along with it With it.
Yeah, if I buy, let's say, ahair trimmer, and it comes with
a bunch of gadgets to be able todo different parts of my beard
and whatnot, I want them all towork.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
Right.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
I don't want to have three of them sitting on the
shelf and be like oh, you haveto pay extra to get that.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
Right.
So what's with the Tesla?
What's your beef with?

Speaker 1 (58:10):
tesla, yeah, you buy the car, the car comes to your
house yes, it does and you canturn on and off functions.
You can turn on and off theheated seat.
You can be like, oh, I'll paymore to have a heated seat, yes,
and they'll go.
Oh, okay, we just turned yourheater seats on.
You can enjoy those now yeahit's like no wait, so that means
there was heated seats in mycar right when I bought the

(58:33):
fucker right yeah, there's allthey were turned off right all
these gadgets, yeah, you buy,are already in the fucking car.
So you're not.
When you purchase that car,you're not purchasing it for
like the value it's max value.
You're purchasing it forwhatever the car is, to
basically rent past that point.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
You know what's crazy about tesla, what's up?
so I get your point and yes Ihad a friend who bought a tesla
and it was like that.
And he they there was thiswhole thing.
You know, if you tweet at youknow at the time it was twitter.
If you tweet on elon musk, youknow, hey, what's going on with
the car?
Everybody should get free audio, whatever.
And then, like he would do it,he would do weird things.
Oh, yeah, we'll turn the audioon.
And then all of a sudden,everybody who bought the Model 3

(59:17):
had the premium sound orsomething like that.
So yeah, those are softwarefeatures, so they could turn
them on and turn them off, andall the cars are all built the
same.
And I was like, yeah, it madeit easier for them to sell cars
with different ranges to justturn them on and turn them off
based upon the software updatesyou want.
So, I mean it's like a flat ratecost for the car.

(59:38):
It doesn't mean it's notincluded, Right?
So you got a fixed rate on thecar, so it made sense for them.
Manufacturer wise.
It makes sense to me it's a carfor a service you know but.
But what's crazy is that it'sactually not a car, so he got it
defined as so.
Tesla is not a dealership.
Tesla does not fall under theautomotive dealership rules at

(01:00:00):
all.
What, oh, wow.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
It's almost like you're buying a cell phone.
I'm not even kidding.
So you know how.
There's this whole Right toRepair Act and all that stuff
Doesn't matter nothing aboutTesla, at least from what I
remember.
But yeah, tesla is not reallyan automotive, so that's why
there's no other dealershipsthat sell Tesla, only Tesla

(01:00:23):
sells Tesla.
For instance, if you have a Kiadealership, they might sell a
Hyundai.
They might sell Kia, they mightsell other cars.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
Right, because they're bringing them in.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
They're bringing in like you can, can't, but you
can't buy.
You can't open up a dealershipand be like I'm going to be a
Tesla dealership because itdoesn't exist.
Tesla's not a dealer, that'stheir thing.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
And somehow they fucking work the the laws in
such a way that it's like youknow, it's like a premium cell
phone well, you can't hate theguy for reading the rules that
were already there.
Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
I'm not mad about it.
I'm just like that's amazingthat he was able to do that and
by all means they want tocontrol it.
But what's crazy is that thesecars, after they're done with
they, go to auction and then atthe auction they sell like uh,
auction, and then at the auction, you know, they sell them for
whatever they want at theauction and then after that

(01:01:19):
somebody else gets it.
If they have a problem, theycan't bring it to a mechanic if
it's, if it's like suspensionwork maybe, but the vast
majority of the work that needsto be done is software.
So they have to take it back totesla.
And a lot of times there'stimes when tesla's like oh, this
car's done.
Now what do you mean?
It's done?
Yeah, it don't work.
You know you can't have it.
Like they take it away from you, like it's weird, like that.

(01:01:40):
Or they charge, they wantexuberance amounts of money in
order to cover the car.
It's no longer under warranty.
You know.
Like they want like the batteryoh, battery's dead, that's it.
Now you gotta buy a whole new,whole new battery.
You know when it's like.
You know you could really justchange like a cell or two.
There's a lot of weird stuffabout it.
There's guys out there that dolike, um, they hack them, you

(01:02:01):
know.
And there's guys that likethey'll program the car for you.
But that's the whole point oflike uh, the right to repair act
and uh, stuff like that, isthat you know, manufacturers,
they shield information fromthird-party repair.
So like, wow, they don't wantyou to know how to like
interface with the car to fix itor any of that stuff.
But the Rights to Repair Act,you know, for automotive it's

(01:02:25):
supposed to open those doors andit does to an extent.
But even like Ford and like,well, maybe not necessarily Ford
, but like other dealers, likeGM for instance, you can't.
So if you have a GM, you have aglobal A right which means that
all the components in your carelectrically are protected.
They call it protected.

(01:02:46):
And if, let's say, for whateverreason you know, your door
switch, oh fuck, my mirror, mywindow won't go down, I need a
new switch.
You go to the junkyard, you putit in there, don't work.
And also, you could break thecar.
Don't start, really.
Yeah, well, because they withtheir excuses, all a lot of auto

(01:03:07):
theft and people stripping downcars and they will.
You know the other, thesecondary market to sell stolen
parts.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
No right.
Fuck you If you're stopping allthe pick-apart guys from being
able to go in.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
Nope, it's got to be VIN coded.
It has to match the VIN number.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
That is some bullshit .

Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
So there's guys out there that they program their
job.
Recode it, just recode it.
Take your VIN, put it on there.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
Well, I mean, God bless those guys Vehicle hackers
.
Yeah, I mean, hey, you knowwhat it's a new industry.

Speaker 2 (01:03:38):
Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
Dude, I was thinking like talking to my dad today
about this, because we weregoing on about like Elon Musk
and being able to score amilitary contract from America
and my dad's like, well, whywould they need Teslas?
That doesn't make any sense.
I'm like, well, dad, you got tothink about it.
Elon Musk is wrapped into waymore than Teslas.

(01:04:02):
He's got his robotics industryup and running.
He's also got the SpaceX.
Well, not SpaceX so much.
I mean SpaceX is what it is,but I mean that's more for
exploration than actuallyneeding to be like a military
grade weaponry.
No, you didn't hear about theSpace Force.
Oh, no, Space Force is anAmerican.

(01:04:23):
Yeah, Trump did that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
Yeah, Trump did that and SpaceX is helping with that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:29):
And SpaceX's main thing is Starlink.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
Do you know what Starlink is?
Yeah, that's what I yes, andthat's for the space fan.

Speaker 1 (01:04:38):
Yes, starlink's where the money is, so to be able to
go ahead and run satellites overan area and blanket them in an
area.
Oh yeah, space war.
No, it's land war.
It's the fact that all of yourguys Command and control Right
All their headphones, all oftheir walkie-talkies, everything

(01:04:59):
are like.
Working, working perfectly andthey're going to be able to
communicate.
Well, yeah, on top of that, wehave the robots coming out, and
then Neurolex.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
Neuralink, neuralink, yeah, yeah, that particular
company computers in my mind.

Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
No, control robots with your mind.

Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
If you do that, too right, he's building the robots
I just want to be the best incall of duty.
Just look at the screen likeworld champion?

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
no, I want to be, I want to get.
I want to get 700 kills undermy belt in real life as an 80
year old man in his bed withneural link you know, my robot's
just out there killing for days.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
There's a movie about that where, like there's like
there's real life war going on,but there's like kids that are
playing video games yes, theydon't even know it's like, or
care that it's like, you know,real war, but they, they're just
playing their video gamekilling people people Just
murder.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
But it's real.
That's the angle I kind of wantto go with Get in the neural
link just sit in my bed, pissmyself and just go slaughter.
Speaking of that, do that.
With that said, ladies andgentlemen, we appreciate you, as
always.
Thank you for coming, thanksfor hanging out with us on the
couches.
God bless you.
Please like subscribe and allthat other garbage that you know

(01:06:17):
we need to do.
To try to like rise up, be partof the communities, as
everybody else.
You know we appreciate you,guys.
Keep being conservative anddoing your thing and, as always,
fuck off.