October 22, 2024 • 16 mins
Having a positive attitude contributes to your Full Life. We will learn about Positive Psychology and meditation.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Chapter 5. How to be more positive.
(00:04):
Quote, Love life and life will love you back.
End quote, Alfred Rubenstein.
The previous chapters laid the foundation for achieving a full life.
It is important to remember that changes are not automatic,
but a progressive growth process in the direction you have set yourself.
However, other factors can facilitate this growth path.
(00:28):
In the chapter, we will explore the concept of positive psychology
and how it can benefit you. I'll then conclude by introducing
a meditation exercise designed to help you manage stress
and clarify your perspective on things.
The Positive Outlook on Life. A few years ago, I had the opportunity
to read the book entitled, Aging with Grace, written by David Snowden.
(00:52):
In the title of the word, Grace, has two meanings.
On one hand, it refers to the sense of humor and joy,
and on the other, to the spiritual aspect of grace,
given that the participants in the study were nuns.
The book chronicles a long-term study of nuns of the order of our Lady of Charity
of the Good Shepherd in Minnesota, focusing on Alzheimer's.
(01:16):
This study spanned more than 20 years,
during which Snowden observed the daily lives of the nuns and the convent,
conducted interviews, and analyzed data.
The aim of the book was to explore the lifestyle of nuns and how it influenced their physical,
mental, and emotional help, to increase public understanding of aging
and Alzheimer's disease, as well as its risk and protective factors.
(01:40):
However, the study yielded an unexpected result.
Upon entering the convent, the nuns were required
to write a letter expressing their reasons for becoming nuns,
writing these letters between the ages of 15 and 20.
These letters were preserved, and Snowden's team had access to them.
They classified them into four groups based on tone from positive to sad.
(02:04):
In the most positive letters, the nuns expressed their enthusiasm and love for God,
as the main reason for joining the convent, reflecting a joyful and hopeful tone.
Other letters had a sadder tone of resignation,
being more logical and rational.
Then, they compared the tone of the letters with the longevity of the nuns,
obtaining revealing results.
(02:28):
90% of the nuns who had written positive letters were still alive at age 85,
while only 34% of those who had written sad letters were still alive.
54% of nuns with positive letters were still alive
at age 94, in contrast to 11% with sad letters.
The study's conclusion suggested that nuns
with a positive attitude lived longer.
(02:52):
Of course, there are other factors that influence our longevity.
The study suggests that a positive outlook on life promotes a longer life,
appreciating the good things that life offers,
avoiding obsessing over worries and situations we can't change,
and picking ourselves up after every stumble is key.
Positive people aren't necessarily luckier than people with a less positive attitude.
(03:16):
It's how they react to life's ups and downs that sets them apart.
Positive people tend to see the positive side of things
and learn from negative experiences.
As mentioned in Monty Python's song for the movie Life of Brian,
always look on the bright side of life.
Some lyrics of the song read,
(03:40):
look on the bright side of life.
When you're feeling like all is lost and there's no reason to go on,
remember that there is always hope and that even in the
darkness there is light. And you'll see that every day
is a new opportunity, so don't ever give up.
Sonia Lubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California,
(04:04):
defines happiness as the experience of joy and well-being
combined with the sense that our life is good, meaningful,
and worthwhile. But the question is,
can we change our attitude towards life and be more positive?
In the book The How of Happiness, Lubomirsky offers practical
tools and strategies to increase happiness and well-being in our daily lives.
(04:28):
The author explores how we can cultivate our happiness,
including gratitude, optimism, socializing,
connecting to our community, caring for our physical body,
and practicing kindness and generosity. It also highlights
the importance of having a growth mindset and seeking meaning and
purpose in our lives. The author shows us how happiness is a
(04:52):
skill we can develop and maintain long term. Lubomirsky
points out that there are three factors that influence happiness levels,
genetics, circumstances, and actions.
According to Lubomirsky, approximately 50% of a person's
happiness is determined by their genetics. External factors
such as the economy, social stability, safety, and public health
(05:16):
can affect our happiness by 10%. The rest,
40% are the result of our actions.
Those possible actions are personal relationships.
People who have healthy and fulfilling interpersonal relationships are happier.
Have a positive approach. People with a positive outlook
on life, even in difficult situations, are happier.
(05:40):
Emotion control. Those who can control their emotions
and can regulate their mood are happier. Goal achievement.
A person with realistic goals and who actively works to achieve
them can increase their happiness. Appreciation.
People who practice gratitude and appreciate what they have instead of focusing
on what they lack are happier. Commitment to a cause.
(06:04):
People involved in social or community causes
and part of something bigger than themselves are happier.
Talben Chahar is an Israeli writer, professor, and researcher in positive psychology
recognized for his Harvard University courses,
books, and lectures. Among his most notable works are
Choose the Life You Want, 100 Values That Will Lead You to Success
(06:28):
and the Pursuit of Happiness, How to Find True Satisfaction
in Life. He is also the founder of the consulting firm
Happiness Studies Academy. Personally, I had the opportunity
to meet Tal and participate in his positive psychology course.
I can tell you that he is a humble and introverted person
who transforms into a charismatic teacher during his classes.
(06:52):
I was fascinated by his communication power.
In his book, The Pursuit of Happiness, he identifies several factors that can
contribute to happiness. One, learn to accept negative
emotions and allow ourselves to feel and express them appropriately.
Two, cultivate positive and fulfilling relationships
with other people. Three, set meaningful goals
(07:16):
and work towards them consistently. Four,
experience joy and gratitude in the present without obsessing over the past
or the future. Five, discover and cultivate
the aspects in which we are good, which gives us satisfaction.
Six, create a pleasant and safe physical environment for
ourselves and those around us. Seven, practice
(07:40):
self-compassion and understand that it is normal to fail or have weaknesses.
Eight, foster a sense of purpose and meaning
in life and connect to a meaningful community and or transcendent
purpose. Ben Jihar points out that each of us
achieves happiness in different ways. The key is to discover what
aligns with your personal interests. Sonja Lubominsky
(08:04):
and Ben Jihar propose a series of points contributing to a more satisfying
life. There are factors we cannot control, such as our
genetics or what happens in the environment, but what we can control
can significantly impact how we live our lives.
Having a positive attitude, taking care of relationships with others,
carrying out activities where you use your talent and are useful to
(08:28):
the community, and having a purpose in life are aspects that
contribute to the development of your full life. I would add
to this the importance of taking care of your health through a healthy diet, adequate
rest and exercise, which we have already addressed in previous chapters.
Exercise to increase your positivity
In the chapter on relationships with others, a shared
(08:52):
with you an exercise consisting of writing a letter or calling someone
you are very grateful to. There is another exercise that will
have a great impact on your attitude. As we tend to remember the negative
things and ignore the positives, this exercise will help us to
remember and appreciate the good things that have happened during the day.
It's called counting the blessings. You can do it alone
(09:16):
or with others, such as your partner and children. At the end of each
day, reflect on all the good things that have happened to you.
Write them down on paper and put them in an urn.
At the end of the week or month, pull out those slips of paper and read them.
This will remind you of all the good things that have happened to you during that
time. If you repeat this exercise, it will become a habit.
(09:40):
Rest assured, you'll start noticing more positive things,
thus increasing your positivity about life. Another
way to strengthen a positive attitude toward life is to meditate.
Meditation. In this section, we'll discuss stress
and when it becomes detrimental to our health, as well as how meditation
can help us to manage it. Robert Sapolsky is
(10:04):
an American biologist, neuroscientist, and a professor of
biology, neurology, and neurological sciences at Stanford University.
He is also the author of the book, Why Zebras
Don't Get Ulcers, in which he explores the effects of prolonged
stress on the human body and how to mitigate it. I
attended his course on stress where he gave the following example of zebras.
(10:28):
When a zebra is grazing peacefully in the savanna
and a lion approaches, it runs for its life. Two things can happen.
The lion catches up with her and she becomes his lunch, or she
voids him and saves her life. In the latter case, the zebra returns to the
herd and continues grazing, unconcerned about past
danger. However, humans have a different relationship with stress.
(10:52):
In our environment, there are no lions that want to
eat us. Instead, we have other concerns, such as a
demanding boss, traffic conflicts while commuting to work,
worries about our health or loved ones, and uncertainty about paying the
mortgage. In these cases, stress becomes chronic, which is
problematic. Stress is a useful physiological
(11:16):
mechanism. For example, we get out of bed thanks to stress, or move
away from a dangerously approaching car. However, chronic
stress is detrimental to health, manifesting itself in
digestive problems, ulcers, insomnia, tiredness,
inattention, and moodiness. It's not about ruminating
about problems, it's about reacting and solving them.
(11:40):
It is important to differentiate between what we can change
and what we can't, and to use our energy to solve the problems we
can change. As the French essayist, Michael de Montaigne, said,
there have been many terrible things in my life, and most of them
never happened. The story of the zebra teaches us
that much of the stress we suffer is created by our mind.
(12:04):
This doesn't mean the problems aren't real, but negative stress
arises when we ruminate on imaginary problems that may never
happen, thus wasting our energy on the wrong things.
Instead of worrying, we can use that energy to solve real problems.
This is where meditation can be of great help.
During my year and a half at Harvard, I participated in a program
(12:28):
for trainers on mindfulness to reduce stress. John Cabot-Zinn,
Professor Emeritus of Medicine at the University of Massachusetts, created it.
His popularized the mindfulness-based stress
reduction method, and has published numerous books and articles in scientific
journals to disseminate the benefits of regular mindfulness practice.
His methodology teaches people to be more present
(12:52):
in the moment, improving both their physical and mental health.
It is an integrated approach that combines meditation and yoga
to improve quality of life, reduce anxiety and emotional control,
while learning to experience the present moment without judgment.
MBSR, Mindfulness for Stress Reduction
is frequently used and is effective in improving quality of life
(13:16):
in reducing stress, depression, anxiety and chronic pain
among other mental and physical health benefits.
In meditation, the mind is trained to be in the present moment
and directly observe the breath and bodily sensations.
What is often used is yoga based on mindfulness mixed with stretches
that can be done sitting, lying down and standing.
(13:40):
These yoga practices can help reduce tension and help you relax.
In addition, the informal practice of mindfulness is worked on
bringing awareness to the present moment in any activity that is being
performed, such as eating or walking.
Continued meditation produces beneficial effects, such as increasing
concentration and productivity, promoting relationships, reducing
(14:04):
stress and improving health and well-being. Personally,
I practice meditation regularly. In a small room at home dedicated
to it, I meditate for about 20 minutes each day before I go to sleep.
You can also join a meditation group or explore online courses
and books in your city. John Cavitzin wrote one,
Meditation for Beginners. With this chapter, we have completed
(14:28):
the first phase of the model, the exploration of your life.
I hope this section has clarified doubts and perhaps confirmed something you already
intuited. Now it's time to do something with all of your accumulated
information. This is the creation phase of the
model, that is, we will apply all that information
to design the life you want. Here you'll define your values
(14:52):
and goals before continuing with a visualization exercise.
Extra resource, Oxford Quiz to Measure Your Happiness.
See page 31 of the PDF workbook.
The University of Oxford offers a free short questionnaire to measure
your subjective level of happiness. Dr. Steve Wright designed it
and consists of 29 questions focused on different
(15:16):
aspects of life that influence happiness, such as social relationships,
achievements, sense of purpose and personal satisfaction.
Responses are rated on a scale of 1 to 6, where
1 means not at all and 6 means extremely. In the
end, the total score is used to measure the overall degree of happiness in a person
and to help detect potential emotional problems, such as
(15:40):
depression or anxiety. You can find the website on page
31 of the PDF handbook and I'll give it to you in a moment, but it's only offered
in English. www.meaningandhappiness.com
slash oxford-happiness
dash questionnaire slash 214
US which have reviewed the confirmation number
Chapter 5. How to be more positive.
(00:04):
Quote, Love life and life will love you back.
End quote, Alfred Rubenstein.
The previous chapters laid the foundation for achieving a full life.
It is important to remember that changes are not automatic,
but a progressive growth process in the direction you have set yourself.
However, other factors can facilitate this growth path.
(00:28):
In the chapter, we will explore the concept of positive psychology
and how it can benefit you. I'll then conclude by introducing
a meditation exercise designed to help you manage stress
and clarify your perspective on things.
The Positive Outlook on Life. A few years ago, I had the opportunity
to read the book entitled, Aging with Grace, written by David Snowden.
(00:52):
In the title of the word, Grace, has two meanings.
On one hand, it refers to the sense of humor and joy,
and on the other, to the spiritual aspect of grace,
given that the participants in the study were nuns.
The book chronicles a long-term study of nuns of the order of our Lady of Charity
of the Good Shepherd in Minnesota, focusing on Alzheimer's.
(01:16):
This study spanned more than 20 years,
during which Snowden observed the daily lives of the nuns and the convent,
conducted interviews, and analyzed data.
The aim of the book was to explore the lifestyle of nuns and how it influenced their physical,
mental, and emotional help, to increase public understanding of aging
and Alzheimer's disease, as well as its risk and protective factors.
(01:40):
However, the study yielded an unexpected result.
Upon entering the convent, the nuns were required
to write a letter expressing their reasons for becoming nuns,
writing these letters between the ages of 15 and 20.
These letters were preserved, and Snowden's team had access to them.
They classified them into four groups based on tone from positive to sad.
(02:04):
In the most positive letters, the nuns expressed their enthusiasm and love for God,
as the main reason for joining the convent, reflecting a joyful and hopeful tone.
Other letters had a sadder tone of resignation,
being more logical and rational.
Then, they compared the tone of the letters with the longevity of the nuns,
obtaining revealing results.
(02:28):
90% of the nuns who had written positive letters were still alive at age 85,
while only 34% of those who had written sad letters were still alive.
54% of nuns with positive letters were still alive
at age 94, in contrast to 11% with sad letters.
The study's conclusion suggested that nuns
with a positive attitude lived longer.
(02:52):
Of course, there are other factors that influence our longevity.
The study suggests that a positive outlook on life promotes a longer life,
appreciating the good things that life offers,
avoiding obsessing over worries and situations we can't change,
and picking ourselves up after every stumble is key.
Positive people aren't necessarily luckier than people with a less positive attitude.
(03:16):
It's how they react to life's ups and downs that sets them apart.
Positive people tend to see the positive side of things
and learn from negative experiences.
As mentioned in Monty Python's song for the movie Life of Brian,
always look on the bright side of life.
Some lyrics of the song read,
(03:40):
look on the bright side of life.
When you're feeling like all is lost and there's no reason to go on,
remember that there is always hope and that even in the
darkness there is light. And you'll see that every day
is a new opportunity, so don't ever give up.
Sonia Lubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California,
(04:04):
defines happiness as the experience of joy and well-being
combined with the sense that our life is good, meaningful,
and worthwhile. But the question is,
can we change our attitude towards life and be more positive?
In the book The How of Happiness, Lubomirsky offers practical
tools and strategies to increase happiness and well-being in our daily lives.
(04:28):
The author explores how we can cultivate our happiness,
including gratitude, optimism, socializing,
connecting to our community, caring for our physical body,
and practicing kindness and generosity. It also highlights
the importance of having a growth mindset and seeking meaning and
purpose in our lives. The author shows us how happiness is a
(04:52):
skill we can develop and maintain long term. Lubomirsky
points out that there are three factors that influence happiness levels,
genetics, circumstances, and actions.
According to Lubomirsky, approximately 50% of a person's
happiness is determined by their genetics. External factors
such as the economy, social stability, safety, and public health
(05:16):
can affect our happiness by 10%. The rest,
40% are the result of our actions.
Those possible actions are personal relationships.
People who have healthy and fulfilling interpersonal relationships are happier.
Have a positive approach. People with a positive outlook
on life, even in difficult situations, are happier.
(05:40):
Emotion control. Those who can control their emotions
and can regulate their mood are happier. Goal achievement.
A person with realistic goals and who actively works to achieve
them can increase their happiness. Appreciation.
People who practice gratitude and appreciate what they have instead of focusing
on what they lack are happier. Commitment to a cause.
(06:04):
People involved in social or community causes
and part of something bigger than themselves are happier.
Talben Chahar is an Israeli writer, professor, and researcher in positive psychology
recognized for his Harvard University courses,
books, and lectures. Among his most notable works are
Choose the Life You Want, 100 Values That Will Lead You to Success
(06:28):
and the Pursuit of Happiness, How to Find True Satisfaction
in Life. He is also the founder of the consulting firm
Happiness Studies Academy. Personally, I had the opportunity
to meet Tal and participate in his positive psychology course.
I can tell you that he is a humble and introverted person
who transforms into a charismatic teacher during his classes.
(06:52):
I was fascinated by his communication power.
In his book, The Pursuit of Happiness, he identifies several factors that can
contribute to happiness. One, learn to accept negative
emotions and allow ourselves to feel and express them appropriately.
Two, cultivate positive and fulfilling relationships
with other people. Three, set meaningful goals
(07:16):
and work towards them consistently. Four,
experience joy and gratitude in the present without obsessing over the past
or the future. Five, discover and cultivate
the aspects in which we are good, which gives us satisfaction.
Six, create a pleasant and safe physical environment for
ourselves and those around us. Seven, practice
(07:40):
self-compassion and understand that it is normal to fail or have weaknesses.
Eight, foster a sense of purpose and meaning
in life and connect to a meaningful community and or transcendent
purpose. Ben Jihar points out that each of us
achieves happiness in different ways. The key is to discover what
aligns with your personal interests. Sonja Lubominsky
(08:04):
and Ben Jihar propose a series of points contributing to a more satisfying
life. There are factors we cannot control, such as our
genetics or what happens in the environment, but what we can control
can significantly impact how we live our lives.
Having a positive attitude, taking care of relationships with others,
carrying out activities where you use your talent and are useful to
(08:28):
the community, and having a purpose in life are aspects that
contribute to the development of your full life. I would add
to this the importance of taking care of your health through a healthy diet, adequate
rest and exercise, which we have already addressed in previous chapters.
Exercise to increase your positivity
In the chapter on relationships with others, a shared
(08:52):
with you an exercise consisting of writing a letter or calling someone
you are very grateful to. There is another exercise that will
have a great impact on your attitude. As we tend to remember the negative
things and ignore the positives, this exercise will help us to
remember and appreciate the good things that have happened during the day.
It's called counting the blessings. You can do it alone
(09:16):
or with others, such as your partner and children. At the end of each
day, reflect on all the good things that have happened to you.
Write them down on paper and put them in an urn.
At the end of the week or month, pull out those slips of paper and read them.
This will remind you of all the good things that have happened to you during that
time. If you repeat this exercise, it will become a habit.
(09:40):
Rest assured, you'll start noticing more positive things,
thus increasing your positivity about life. Another
way to strengthen a positive attitude toward life is to meditate.
Meditation. In this section, we'll discuss stress
and when it becomes detrimental to our health, as well as how meditation
can help us to manage it. Robert Sapolsky is
(10:04):
an American biologist, neuroscientist, and a professor of
biology, neurology, and neurological sciences at Stanford University.
He is also the author of the book, Why Zebras
Don't Get Ulcers, in which he explores the effects of prolonged
stress on the human body and how to mitigate it. I
attended his course on stress where he gave the following example of zebras.
(10:28):
When a zebra is grazing peacefully in the savanna
and a lion approaches, it runs for its life. Two things can happen.
The lion catches up with her and she becomes his lunch, or she
voids him and saves her life. In the latter case, the zebra returns to the
herd and continues grazing, unconcerned about past
danger. However, humans have a different relationship with stress.
(10:52):
In our environment, there are no lions that want to
eat us. Instead, we have other concerns, such as a
demanding boss, traffic conflicts while commuting to work,
worries about our health or loved ones, and uncertainty about paying the
mortgage. In these cases, stress becomes chronic, which is
problematic. Stress is a useful physiological
(11:16):
mechanism. For example, we get out of bed thanks to stress, or move
away from a dangerously approaching car. However, chronic
stress is detrimental to health, manifesting itself in
digestive problems, ulcers, insomnia, tiredness,
inattention, and moodiness. It's not about ruminating
about problems, it's about reacting and solving them.
(11:40):
It is important to differentiate between what we can change
and what we can't, and to use our energy to solve the problems we
can change. As the French essayist, Michael de Montaigne, said,
there have been many terrible things in my life, and most of them
never happened. The story of the zebra teaches us
that much of the stress we suffer is created by our mind.
(12:04):
This doesn't mean the problems aren't real, but negative stress
arises when we ruminate on imaginary problems that may never
happen, thus wasting our energy on the wrong things.
Instead of worrying, we can use that energy to solve real problems.
This is where meditation can be of great help.
During my year and a half at Harvard, I participated in a program
(12:28):
for trainers on mindfulness to reduce stress. John Cabot-Zinn,
Professor Emeritus of Medicine at the University of Massachusetts, created it.
His popularized the mindfulness-based stress
reduction method, and has published numerous books and articles in scientific
journals to disseminate the benefits of regular mindfulness practice.
His methodology teaches people to be more present
(12:52):
in the moment, improving both their physical and mental health.
It is an integrated approach that combines meditation and yoga
to improve quality of life, reduce anxiety and emotional control,
while learning to experience the present moment without judgment.
MBSR, Mindfulness for Stress Reduction
is frequently used and is effective in improving quality of life
(13:16):
in reducing stress, depression, anxiety and chronic pain
among other mental and physical health benefits.
In meditation, the mind is trained to be in the present moment
and directly observe the breath and bodily sensations.
What is often used is yoga based on mindfulness mixed with stretches
that can be done sitting, lying down and standing.
(13:40):
These yoga practices can help reduce tension and help you relax.
In addition, the informal practice of mindfulness is worked on
bringing awareness to the present moment in any activity that is being
performed, such as eating or walking.
Continued meditation produces beneficial effects, such as increasing
concentration and productivity, promoting relationships, reducing
(14:04):
stress and improving health and well-being. Personally,
I practice meditation regularly. In a small room at home dedicated
to it, I meditate for about 20 minutes each day before I go to sleep.
You can also join a meditation group or explore online courses
and books in your city. John Cavitzin wrote one,
Meditation for Beginners. With this chapter, we have completed
(14:28):
the first phase of the model, the exploration of your life.
I hope this section has clarified doubts and perhaps confirmed something you already
intuited. Now it's time to do something with all of your accumulated
information. This is the creation phase of the
model, that is, we will apply all that information
to design the life you want. Here you'll define your values
(14:52):
and goals before continuing with a visualization exercise.
Extra resource, Oxford Quiz to Measure Your Happiness.
See page 31 of the PDF workbook.
The University of Oxford offers a free short questionnaire to measure
your subjective level of happiness. Dr. Steve Wright designed it
and consists of 29 questions focused on different
(15:16):
aspects of life that influence happiness, such as social relationships,
achievements, sense of purpose and personal satisfaction.
Responses are rated on a scale of 1 to 6, where
1 means not at all and 6 means extremely. In the
end, the total score is used to measure the overall degree of happiness in a person
and to help detect potential emotional problems, such as
(15:40):
depression or anxiety. You can find the website on page
31 of the PDF handbook and I'll give it to you in a moment, but it's only offered
in English. www.meaningandhappiness.com
slash oxford-happiness
dash questionnaire slash 214
US which have reviewed the confirmation number
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