October 22, 2024 • 15 mins
Once you have decided the life you want to live, your Full Life, it is time to actualize it by making the right decisions. You must choose between radical and gradual change.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Chapter 8 Decision Making
(00:03):
quote, take your heart as your guide and it will point you in the right direction
end quote, Confucius.
In this chapter we arrive at the action part of the book.
It is the moment of truth when you have to start the path you have set for yourself to reach the full life.
You can take smaller big steps i.e. change gradually or radically.
(00:27):
We'll talk about all of this later in the chapter.
Right now the most important choices before you are either to continue as you are or to embrace the full life you have created.
On the one hand there's your rational side which tells you not to take unnecessary risks.
Think carefully before you do something.
Don't rush.
(00:47):
You should weigh the pros and cons before deciding.
Otherwise you will regret it.
On the other hand your heart tells you to follow your dreams, to follow your passion.
Take a chance.
You don't want to grow old and regret everything you didn't do.
Then it will be too late.
Now is the time.
Go for it.
This is all well and good.
(01:08):
Ultimately the decision is up to you.
In this chapter I want to help you make it.
Antonio de Massio is a leading Portuguese neurologist, neuroscientist,
neuroscience professor and neuroscience institute director at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles.
His work focuses on the study of emotions and decision making.
(01:31):
de Massio has made important contributions to understanding the role of emotions in human cognition and behavior.
He has written several books on the subject including Descartes' Error.
Moreover he has received numerous awards and recognitions for his work.
Including the Prince of Austria's award for technical and scientific research in 2005.
(01:52):
In Descartes' Error he addresses the following points.
The traditional dichotomy between mind and body has, for centuries,
made it difficult to understand the complexity of the human brain
and the relationships between emotions, cognition and behavior.
The idea, championed by philosopher René Descartes,
that the mind is independent of the body and can make rational decisions without being influenced by emotions is false
(02:18):
and contrary to empirical evidence.
The importance of emotions for decision making and human behavior.
The intimate relationship between emotions and memory and its implications for the formation and evocation of mental images
and for creativity and culture.
The possibility that a better understanding of the interconnectedness between the brain, body and emotions
(02:41):
could lead to new approaches in research and therapy of neurological diseases and disorders.
Such as Parkinson's, depression and Alzheimer's disease.
Descartes' Error questions the radical separation between mind and body
and argues for a more integrated, multidisciplinary perspective of neuroscience and psychology.
(03:01):
One that considers the complexity of the human experience and the various interactions between its biological,
emotional, cognitive and social components.
In Descartes' Error, Demasio tells the story of one of his patients.
This patient was a successful executive and had a happy family life.
He had a brain problem that affected his amygdala.
(03:23):
The amygdala is an almond-shaped brain structure located in the temporal lobes.
It plays a major role in emotional response and memory.
One of the main functions of the amygdala is the identification and response to emotional stimuli.
It can detect emotional stimuli quickly, whether visual, auditory, tactile or other,
(03:44):
and activate automatic survival responses, such as fear or pleasure reactions.
The amygdala is essential for understanding how our brain works in stress,
danger or threatening situations.
The loss of the amygdala had an unexpected effect on the patient's behavior.
He was incapable of making decisions.
(04:04):
The patient could analyze a situation at nauseam, but in the end was unable to choose.
Demasio shares that his patient was in a restaurant, looked at the menu in detail,
and could analyze the different dishes for a long time without deciding which dish to order.
His condition caused him to lose his job and even his family.
(04:26):
Demasio describes that traditionally we have given great importance to the rational part
and forgotten that we are also emotional animals.
We can analyze any topic at nauseam, but the emotional part is the one that decides in the end.
For example, we're going to buy a new car.
We can analyze and detail the different characteristics of the car.
(04:48):
It's power in the consumption per 100 kilometers and compared with other similar cars.
In the end, when we must choose, the most important factor is that we like the car,
that we feel good driving it.
The emotional part gives us the final push in our decision.
That is why it is very important that the full life you have designed
(05:09):
excites you and touches your heart.
It is not a matter of analyzing and analyzing and then doing nothing.
It's a matter of figuring out what your heart is asking for.
As the French philosopher Blaise Pascal said,
the heart has reasons of which reason knows nothing.
You must connect with your emotions.
(05:29):
When you look at the full life that you have created, what is your reaction?
They say emotions are felt in the stomach.
How does your stomach feel when you look at your life board?
It's possible that your current life is what you want.
In that case, go ahead.
Continue in the same way.
However, if you decide it's time for change, you have two options.
(05:51):
Radical or progressive change.
Radical change.
An example of radical change is Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon.
Bezos graduated from Princeton University with a degree in electronic engineering
and computer science.
He had a successful career at an investment bank on Wall Street.
But it wasn't what he wanted to do and the rest of his.
(06:14):
At the age of 30, he quit his job and moved to Seattle with his wife,
where he founded Amazon in 1994 to sell books online.
In an interview, Bezos stated that it was a very risky decision.
Selling online was in its infancy and few people knew about it.
To help him get started, he had to take out a loan from his family.
(06:36):
In 2018, Bezos was named by Forbes as the richest person in the world,
with a fortune estimated at more than $100 billion.
Of course, it's true that we don't hear about all of the people who took a risk
and didn't succeed.
But if you don't take risks, you'll never know.
In addition, failures are a way to learn and improve.
(06:57):
You are the entrepreneur of your own life.
Reflecting on that decision, Bezos said in this interview
that he had something very important, the support of his family.
His family believed in him and gave him not only financial support,
but also emotional support.
He went on to share a second lesson in that interview,
the law of no repentance.
(07:20):
Something we saw earlier in the book.
Bezos says, you'll regret not so much what you did, but what you didn't do.
That's why, when you face a life decision,
think about whether you have the support of the people you love.
And if not, you'll regret not trying in the future.
Another example of sea change is the story of Wu Hanning, a Chinese citizen.
(07:43):
When she graduated from college 30 years ago,
the government assigned her a job.
Rejecting the job meant losing all social protection.
By this time, Deng Xiaoping's reforms in the Chinese economy had begun.
During that time, the Chinese government opened several cities
to international investment, including Shenzhen.
(08:04):
Wu quit her job at the university and with her little savings went to Shenzhen.
There, she found employment in a construction company
and soon became an aide to the president.
Over the years, she moved to Shanghai and founded her own real estate company.
In Shanghai, she met a foreigner and got married.
That foreigner was me.
(08:24):
Here are two examples of radical, risky decision-making that went well.
However, it may not be the case for you that you want to make a radical change,
but rather progressively.
Instead of jumping into the pool, you'd rather test the water.
Gradual change.
How do you make gradual change?
One way is through little experiments of the life you desire.
(08:47):
Imagine that you want to be a teacher and quit your job as an executive in a company.
You can attend an academic year and see how you feel.
You can also talk to a teacher you know and find out about their activity.
You can start teaching some classes part-time.
All this will allow you to start getting acquainted with the life of a teacher
before taking the decisive step.
(09:10):
Finally, if you like what you've seen, you can make the leap to that new profession.
To do this, you would have to be accepted into a doctoral program
and have enough savings to live as a student.
That's what a gradual process before you change jobs is all about.
And that's what I did when I changed my life at the age of 35.
(09:30):
I left my job as CFO of the multinational
and joined the IESE doctoral program at the University of Navarra.
I tried to control all of the possible risks.
You can do something similar.
Experiment with that new life you want.
And if it continues to attract you, make the change.
In chapter 6, we talked about the goals you developed with the help of the wheel of life.
(09:55):
However, not all goals carry equal weight.
Certain goals bring us closer to the full life we want.
I call those goals life projects.
Vital projects.
Victor Frankel in his book, Man's Search for Meaning, said the following words.
We can discover the meaning of life by focusing on the future.
(10:15):
Whether it is on a project that matters or on someone we love.
Those important projects are your life projects.
What are life projects?
Life projects have a significant impact on your life
in the lives of those you care about.
They can be personal, professional, community, or global goals
that motivate you and allow you to grow, contribute,
(10:39):
and positively impact the world.
Life projects have the following characteristics.
They matter to you.
They represent a challenge for you.
They are long term.
They use your talent and passion.
And their achievement gives you great satisfaction.
They can be, for example, furthering your studies, starting your own company,
(11:01):
writing a book, speaking in public, or running a marathon.
The most important thing is that they are projects
that have an important and positive impact on your life
and the lives of others.
From experience, I can tell you that carrying out this type of project
gives you high satisfaction.
For example, four years ago I set out to undertake the following projects.
(11:24):
Have a social media presence.
I launched my website and started my activity on LinkedIn and YouTube.
Completing a philosophy degree at the University of Oxford.
I completed it in July 2023.
Write a book about innovation.
I completed it in November 2022.
Host a TED Talk.
(11:45):
I've yet to get it.
Lose four kilos.
Working on it.
These five projects are important to me.
Some are already fulfilled and others I still need to work on more.
Your list of projects may change over time.
Some you'll have finished and you'll add new ones to your list.
The important thing is to be persistent and not to give up.
(12:06):
One way is to take your projects step by step.
For example, suppose one of your life projects is to change jobs
and another is to run a marathon.
Project number one.
Getting a new job.
You can achieve this goal by following the four steps depicted in the diagram
on page 55 of the PDF workbook.
(12:27):
Step one, identify potential employers.
Step two, contact those that can help me.
Step three, send job applications.
Step four, get ready for the interview.
Objective, new job.
Project number two, running a marathon.
In this case, to achieve the goal, the steps could be,
(12:48):
step one, train regularly.
Step two, join a running club.
Step three, healthy lifestyle.
Step four, run a half marathon.
Objective, run a marathon.
These are just a few examples.
You must design the best way to reach them.
The important thing is that you try and ideally they are fulfilled.
(13:11):
To do this, it is important that you focus your energy and attention on
achieving results.
Also, they are projects that are in accordance with your values
and motivate you.
And if you can't meet them, then review the reasons and learn from them.
Not trying these vital projects have the regrets that will come to you
when it's too late.
(13:31):
Remember the law of minimizing your regrets.
What are your life projects?
There are several elements to consider when achieving your life projects.
Focus your efforts on one or two vital projects.
Projects often require effort, tenacity, and a lot of energy.
Don't spread your energy trying multiple projects at the same time.
(13:52):
They are in line with your values.
It is important that your life projects fit with your values.
That will increase your motivation to get them.
Action.
Lao-Zu says that a long journey begins with a small step.
What initial steps are you going to take?
Support.
Seek support from people you care about.
(14:13):
They will cheer you up in the low moments.
Time.
When do you want to do that project?
Giving yourself a time limit will encourage the urgency to move and not give up.
Regret.
How will I feel if I don't try the project?
Remember the law of minimizing your regrets.
Now, it's your turn.
(14:34):
Reflection 18.
Your Life Projects.
See page 56 of the PDF workbook and answer the following questions.
Focus.
What is my most important life project?
Values.
What values coincide with the project I am proposing?
Action.
What do I need to do first?
(14:55):
Support.
Who can help me?
Time.
When do I want it?
Regrets.
How will I feel if I don't try?
Chapter 8 Decision Making
(00:03):
quote, take your heart as your guide and it will point you in the right direction
end quote, Confucius.
In this chapter we arrive at the action part of the book.
It is the moment of truth when you have to start the path you have set for yourself to reach the full life.
You can take smaller big steps i.e. change gradually or radically.
(00:27):
We'll talk about all of this later in the chapter.
Right now the most important choices before you are either to continue as you are or to embrace the full life you have created.
On the one hand there's your rational side which tells you not to take unnecessary risks.
Think carefully before you do something.
Don't rush.
(00:47):
You should weigh the pros and cons before deciding.
Otherwise you will regret it.
On the other hand your heart tells you to follow your dreams, to follow your passion.
Take a chance.
You don't want to grow old and regret everything you didn't do.
Then it will be too late.
Now is the time.
Go for it.
This is all well and good.
(01:08):
Ultimately the decision is up to you.
In this chapter I want to help you make it.
Antonio de Massio is a leading Portuguese neurologist, neuroscientist,
neuroscience professor and neuroscience institute director at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles.
His work focuses on the study of emotions and decision making.
(01:31):
de Massio has made important contributions to understanding the role of emotions in human cognition and behavior.
He has written several books on the subject including Descartes' Error.
Moreover he has received numerous awards and recognitions for his work.
Including the Prince of Austria's award for technical and scientific research in 2005.
(01:52):
In Descartes' Error he addresses the following points.
The traditional dichotomy between mind and body has, for centuries,
made it difficult to understand the complexity of the human brain
and the relationships between emotions, cognition and behavior.
The idea, championed by philosopher René Descartes,
that the mind is independent of the body and can make rational decisions without being influenced by emotions is false
(02:18):
and contrary to empirical evidence.
The importance of emotions for decision making and human behavior.
The intimate relationship between emotions and memory and its implications for the formation and evocation of mental images
and for creativity and culture.
The possibility that a better understanding of the interconnectedness between the brain, body and emotions
(02:41):
could lead to new approaches in research and therapy of neurological diseases and disorders.
Such as Parkinson's, depression and Alzheimer's disease.
Descartes' Error questions the radical separation between mind and body
and argues for a more integrated, multidisciplinary perspective of neuroscience and psychology.
(03:01):
One that considers the complexity of the human experience and the various interactions between its biological,
emotional, cognitive and social components.
In Descartes' Error, Demasio tells the story of one of his patients.
This patient was a successful executive and had a happy family life.
He had a brain problem that affected his amygdala.
(03:23):
The amygdala is an almond-shaped brain structure located in the temporal lobes.
It plays a major role in emotional response and memory.
One of the main functions of the amygdala is the identification and response to emotional stimuli.
It can detect emotional stimuli quickly, whether visual, auditory, tactile or other,
(03:44):
and activate automatic survival responses, such as fear or pleasure reactions.
The amygdala is essential for understanding how our brain works in stress,
danger or threatening situations.
The loss of the amygdala had an unexpected effect on the patient's behavior.
He was incapable of making decisions.
(04:04):
The patient could analyze a situation at nauseam, but in the end was unable to choose.
Demasio shares that his patient was in a restaurant, looked at the menu in detail,
and could analyze the different dishes for a long time without deciding which dish to order.
His condition caused him to lose his job and even his family.
(04:26):
Demasio describes that traditionally we have given great importance to the rational part
and forgotten that we are also emotional animals.
We can analyze any topic at nauseam, but the emotional part is the one that decides in the end.
For example, we're going to buy a new car.
We can analyze and detail the different characteristics of the car.
(04:48):
It's power in the consumption per 100 kilometers and compared with other similar cars.
In the end, when we must choose, the most important factor is that we like the car,
that we feel good driving it.
The emotional part gives us the final push in our decision.
That is why it is very important that the full life you have designed
(05:09):
excites you and touches your heart.
It is not a matter of analyzing and analyzing and then doing nothing.
It's a matter of figuring out what your heart is asking for.
As the French philosopher Blaise Pascal said,
the heart has reasons of which reason knows nothing.
You must connect with your emotions.
(05:29):
When you look at the full life that you have created, what is your reaction?
They say emotions are felt in the stomach.
How does your stomach feel when you look at your life board?
It's possible that your current life is what you want.
In that case, go ahead.
Continue in the same way.
However, if you decide it's time for change, you have two options.
(05:51):
Radical or progressive change.
Radical change.
An example of radical change is Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon.
Bezos graduated from Princeton University with a degree in electronic engineering
and computer science.
He had a successful career at an investment bank on Wall Street.
But it wasn't what he wanted to do and the rest of his.
(06:14):
At the age of 30, he quit his job and moved to Seattle with his wife,
where he founded Amazon in 1994 to sell books online.
In an interview, Bezos stated that it was a very risky decision.
Selling online was in its infancy and few people knew about it.
To help him get started, he had to take out a loan from his family.
(06:36):
In 2018, Bezos was named by Forbes as the richest person in the world,
with a fortune estimated at more than $100 billion.
Of course, it's true that we don't hear about all of the people who took a risk
and didn't succeed.
But if you don't take risks, you'll never know.
In addition, failures are a way to learn and improve.
(06:57):
You are the entrepreneur of your own life.
Reflecting on that decision, Bezos said in this interview
that he had something very important, the support of his family.
His family believed in him and gave him not only financial support,
but also emotional support.
He went on to share a second lesson in that interview,
the law of no repentance.
(07:20):
Something we saw earlier in the book.
Bezos says, you'll regret not so much what you did, but what you didn't do.
That's why, when you face a life decision,
think about whether you have the support of the people you love.
And if not, you'll regret not trying in the future.
Another example of sea change is the story of Wu Hanning, a Chinese citizen.
(07:43):
When she graduated from college 30 years ago,
the government assigned her a job.
Rejecting the job meant losing all social protection.
By this time, Deng Xiaoping's reforms in the Chinese economy had begun.
During that time, the Chinese government opened several cities
to international investment, including Shenzhen.
(08:04):
Wu quit her job at the university and with her little savings went to Shenzhen.
There, she found employment in a construction company
and soon became an aide to the president.
Over the years, she moved to Shanghai and founded her own real estate company.
In Shanghai, she met a foreigner and got married.
That foreigner was me.
(08:24):
Here are two examples of radical, risky decision-making that went well.
However, it may not be the case for you that you want to make a radical change,
but rather progressively.
Instead of jumping into the pool, you'd rather test the water.
Gradual change.
How do you make gradual change?
One way is through little experiments of the life you desire.
(08:47):
Imagine that you want to be a teacher and quit your job as an executive in a company.
You can attend an academic year and see how you feel.
You can also talk to a teacher you know and find out about their activity.
You can start teaching some classes part-time.
All this will allow you to start getting acquainted with the life of a teacher
before taking the decisive step.
(09:10):
Finally, if you like what you've seen, you can make the leap to that new profession.
To do this, you would have to be accepted into a doctoral program
and have enough savings to live as a student.
That's what a gradual process before you change jobs is all about.
And that's what I did when I changed my life at the age of 35.
(09:30):
I left my job as CFO of the multinational
and joined the IESE doctoral program at the University of Navarra.
I tried to control all of the possible risks.
You can do something similar.
Experiment with that new life you want.
And if it continues to attract you, make the change.
In chapter 6, we talked about the goals you developed with the help of the wheel of life.
(09:55):
However, not all goals carry equal weight.
Certain goals bring us closer to the full life we want.
I call those goals life projects.
Vital projects.
Victor Frankel in his book, Man's Search for Meaning, said the following words.
We can discover the meaning of life by focusing on the future.
(10:15):
Whether it is on a project that matters or on someone we love.
Those important projects are your life projects.
What are life projects?
Life projects have a significant impact on your life
in the lives of those you care about.
They can be personal, professional, community, or global goals
that motivate you and allow you to grow, contribute,
(10:39):
and positively impact the world.
Life projects have the following characteristics.
They matter to you.
They represent a challenge for you.
They are long term.
They use your talent and passion.
And their achievement gives you great satisfaction.
They can be, for example, furthering your studies, starting your own company,
(11:01):
writing a book, speaking in public, or running a marathon.
The most important thing is that they are projects
that have an important and positive impact on your life
and the lives of others.
From experience, I can tell you that carrying out this type of project
gives you high satisfaction.
For example, four years ago I set out to undertake the following projects.
(11:24):
Have a social media presence.
I launched my website and started my activity on LinkedIn and YouTube.
Completing a philosophy degree at the University of Oxford.
I completed it in July 2023.
Write a book about innovation.
I completed it in November 2022.
Host a TED Talk.
(11:45):
I've yet to get it.
Lose four kilos.
Working on it.
These five projects are important to me.
Some are already fulfilled and others I still need to work on more.
Your list of projects may change over time.
Some you'll have finished and you'll add new ones to your list.
The important thing is to be persistent and not to give up.
(12:06):
One way is to take your projects step by step.
For example, suppose one of your life projects is to change jobs
and another is to run a marathon.
Project number one.
Getting a new job.
You can achieve this goal by following the four steps depicted in the diagram
on page 55 of the PDF workbook.
(12:27):
Step one, identify potential employers.
Step two, contact those that can help me.
Step three, send job applications.
Step four, get ready for the interview.
Objective, new job.
Project number two, running a marathon.
In this case, to achieve the goal, the steps could be,
(12:48):
step one, train regularly.
Step two, join a running club.
Step three, healthy lifestyle.
Step four, run a half marathon.
Objective, run a marathon.
These are just a few examples.
You must design the best way to reach them.
The important thing is that you try and ideally they are fulfilled.
(13:11):
To do this, it is important that you focus your energy and attention on
achieving results.
Also, they are projects that are in accordance with your values
and motivate you.
And if you can't meet them, then review the reasons and learn from them.
Not trying these vital projects have the regrets that will come to you
when it's too late.
(13:31):
Remember the law of minimizing your regrets.
What are your life projects?
There are several elements to consider when achieving your life projects.
Focus your efforts on one or two vital projects.
Projects often require effort, tenacity, and a lot of energy.
Don't spread your energy trying multiple projects at the same time.
(13:52):
They are in line with your values.
It is important that your life projects fit with your values.
That will increase your motivation to get them.
Action.
Lao-Zu says that a long journey begins with a small step.
What initial steps are you going to take?
Support.
Seek support from people you care about.
(14:13):
They will cheer you up in the low moments.
Time.
When do you want to do that project?
Giving yourself a time limit will encourage the urgency to move and not give up.
Regret.
How will I feel if I don't try the project?
Remember the law of minimizing your regrets.
Now, it's your turn.
(14:34):
Reflection 18.
Your Life Projects.
See page 56 of the PDF workbook and answer the following questions.
Focus.
What is my most important life project?
Values.
What values coincide with the project I am proposing?
Action.
What do I need to do first?
(14:55):
Support.
Who can help me?
Time.
When do I want it?
Regrets.
How will I feel if I don't try?
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