October 22, 2024 • 11 mins
Good intentions often do not become real. It is crucial to maintain the change and not go back to old ways. Three elements help us to ain't the change we want: focus on a few goals at a time, create a winning attitude, and get support from others.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Chapter 9.
(00:02):
Personal Change That Lasts
Quote, We are what we do.
Excellence is not an act, but a habit.
End quote, Aristotle.
Personal change is not easy.
It requires determination and an open mind.
People who don't succeed don't learn from their mistakes and reject new ideas and good
(00:23):
advice.
Here are some questions for you to think about.
Do you look for opportunities to learn new skills and perspectives?
Do you admit when you've made a mistake?
Do you accept feedback?
Are you open to personal change?
The American psychologist and philosopher William James said,
(00:44):
Action seems to follow feeling, but in reality, action and feeling go together.
If we modify our actions, which are controlled by our will, we can change our feelings.
That is, you can initiate a process of change in two directions, by changing your attitudes
or by changing your actions.
(01:04):
Both paths work, but changing your attitudes is more difficult than changing your actions,
since they are under your control.
For Aristotle, moral excellence or virtue is not an isolated act, but a habit or disposition
ingrained in the person.
According to him, excellence is acquired through practicing and repeating virtuous actions.
(01:25):
Personal changes are created by being persistent in our actions until they become a habit.
It was Aristotle's belief that excellence, aret in Greek, is the supreme goal of human
life.
For him, excellence was the purpose of life.
Another ancient sage, Confucius, taught that personal growth is essential to attaining
(01:46):
virtue and wisdom.
He believed in the importance of self-improvement through continuous learning and reflection
on actions and decisions.
According to Confucius, we must be willing to change our behavior and habits if they
do not align with the path of virtue and righteousness.
In short, for Confucius, change is a key tool to becoming virtuous and wise.
(02:09):
He believed that to follow the path of virtue, one must change their behavior by practicing
self-improvement and self-reflection.
He believed that people should be an example of virtues such as honesty, respect, generosity,
personal discipline, and humility.
This requires individuals to examine their own thoughts and actions and to try and lead
(02:32):
a more ethical and conscious life.
The book The Analex collects his maxims, and one of them, Confucius, describes his own
path.
From the age of 15, my heart and mind were focused on learning.
At 30, he knew what to do.
By the time I was 40, I no longer hesitated, at 50, I fulfilled the command of heaven.
(02:55):
At 60, it was in harmony with the mandate.
At 70, I could unleash my heart and mind without overstepping boundaries.
As you can see from the quote, Confucius's path was long and required effort.
Only at the end of his life, after many years, had the path of virtue become a natural part
of him, and he no longer needed to keep the virtues in mind since they were now part of
(03:20):
his character.
According to Aristotle and Confucius, there are no magic recipes for becoming an excellent
person.
It is achieved through effort and persistence.
To attain the full life, you will require the determination and persistence of the ancients
mentioned.
You know what happens with most New Year's resolutions.
(03:40):
They are never kept.
Good intentions are not enough.
Jim Lair and Tony Schwartz are two authors and consultants, known for their work on stress
management, leadership development, and life skills.
The two created The Energy Project, a global consultancy that uses the latest research
in neuroscience and fosters resilience.
(04:03):
In their book The Power of Full Engagement, they gave the following ideas for success
with personal change.
1. Energy is the key to excellence in everything we do, productivity, business running, social
relationships, daily activity, self-care, among others.
2. Energy is renewable, but it is also limited and must be properly managed.
(04:27):
3. It is necessary to know how energy is distributed in our daily lives to balance work and rest.
4. We need to be more mindful of managing our energy.
5. Stress management is essential to managing mental and emotional energy appropriately.
Their book concludes that gradual change is better than being overly ambitious, often
(04:50):
leading to failure.
It is best to look for small successes, as success feeds on itself.
Be realistic with your goals and persistent.
In the end, a lack of energy or willpower is one of the barriers to achieving your goal
for change.
Roy Baumeister is an American social psychologist known worldwide for researching willpower and
(05:11):
decision-making in everyday life.
His research is widely cited and used in the fields of psychology, health, and wellness.
Baumeister is known for developing the concept of ego depletion, which states that willpower
is a limited resource, and that its use tires the brain and diminishes when we undertake
other tasks.
(05:32):
Baumeister published a book entitled Willpower, in which he recounted his famous cookie experiment.
Participants in the experiment were instructed to measure the time it would take them to
complete the puzzle.
However, the actual experiment took place in a waiting room.
This room had a plate with cookies and another with radishes.
(05:53):
The participants were divided into two groups.
One was told not to touch the cookies, but could eat whatever radishes they wanted.
The other group could eat whatever cookies they wanted.
After some time in the room, they moved into a room where there was an extremely complex
puzzle, practically impossible to complete.
It was found that the participants who were not allowed to eat the cookies abandoned the
(06:17):
puzzle earlier than the group who could eat the cookies.
In a way, refraining from eating the cookies had exhausted their willpower.
Baumeister showed that people who inhibit their desires have a harder time staying focused,
resisting temptation, and generally continuing to work on tasks for an extended period of
time.
(06:37):
In addition, he showed how practice improves willpower and self-control.
For example, if you regularly practice self-discipline and get your brain used to self-control, it
becomes more effective and less tiring.
Baumeister has also explored how factors such as nutrition, stress, and alcohol consumption
affect willpower and the ability to self-control.
(07:00):
In short, Baumeister, with his research on willpower and self-control, has made it possible
to regulate our behavior to achieve goals and lead a healthier, more balanced life.
As the Irish writer Oscar Wilde said, I can resist anything but temptation.
Baumeister helps us to resist temptation.
Finally, I recommend three steps to help you succeed in achieving your personal change.
(07:26):
1.
Focus on a few goals.
Think about what outcome you want to achieve because of what you've discovered during
this book.
Focus on a few important goals, perhaps one to three.
2.
Create a positive attitude toward the change you want.
Start by believing in yourself.
Do you have negative thoughts about your ability to achieve something?
(07:49):
Look to the future with hope.
Personal development starts when you focus on action.
Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford car brand, said, if you think you can do something or
you can't do it, you're right both.
Examples of changing your thinking.
Limiting beliefs.
I can't do it.
I can't learn new things.
(08:09):
I can't change.
It doesn't matter what I do.
Empowering beliefs.
There is always a solution.
I can improve.
I can change.
What I do is worth it.
3.
Get support from others.
Social support is critical for you to succeed in your change.
(08:29):
You can learn from the example of other successful people, and they can also give you emotional
support when you need it.
If possible, talk to someone you trust and ask for their help.
You can share with them the goals you've set for yourself and ask for their advice.
There are certain rules that person must listen without interrupting.
(08:49):
They can ask questions to clarify aspects that are not clear, and very importantly,
they should not judge you.
Final thoughts.
We have come to the end of this book.
My goal has been to help you achieve the full life.
I hope that the book's message and its exercises have helped you discover your ifica, your purpose.
(09:11):
In the end, success in your life depends largely on you.
Of course, every life has its own circumstances.
You find yourself in those circumstances and must make the best decision and be clear about
your values and purpose.
Doing so will help you make better decisions.
And remember the rule of minimizing your regret.
(09:32):
When you face an important decision about your life, think and ask yourself,
If I don't do this, will I regret it in the future when it's too late?
Take advantage of your life, for you really do have treasure in your hands.
One of my favorite philosophers is Bertrand Russell.
He is one of the founders of analytic philosophy and is known for his work in mathematical
(09:55):
logic, set theory, epistemology, and metaphysics.
He is also a political and social activist, advocating for world peace and eliminating
nuclear weapons.
He won the Nobel Prize in literature in 1950 for advocating humanism and freedom of thought.
He died in 1970 at the age of 97.
(10:17):
In a short essay entitled, How to Grow Old, he wrote,
An individual human existence should be like a river, small at first, narrowly contained
within its banks and rushing passionately past rocks and over waterfalls.
Gradually, the river grows wider, the banks recede, the water flows more quietly, and
(10:41):
in the end, without any visible break, they become merged in the sea and painlessly lose
their individual being.
The Russell River is a good metaphor for life.
I'll leave you with one final quote.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
(11:01):
The second best time is now, Confucius.
It's never too late to live the full life you deserve.
Chapter 9.
(00:02):
Personal Change That Lasts
Quote, We are what we do.
Excellence is not an act, but a habit.
End quote, Aristotle.
Personal change is not easy.
It requires determination and an open mind.
People who don't succeed don't learn from their mistakes and reject new ideas and good
(00:23):
advice.
Here are some questions for you to think about.
Do you look for opportunities to learn new skills and perspectives?
Do you admit when you've made a mistake?
Do you accept feedback?
Are you open to personal change?
The American psychologist and philosopher William James said,
(00:44):
Action seems to follow feeling, but in reality, action and feeling go together.
If we modify our actions, which are controlled by our will, we can change our feelings.
That is, you can initiate a process of change in two directions, by changing your attitudes
or by changing your actions.
(01:04):
Both paths work, but changing your attitudes is more difficult than changing your actions,
since they are under your control.
For Aristotle, moral excellence or virtue is not an isolated act, but a habit or disposition
ingrained in the person.
According to him, excellence is acquired through practicing and repeating virtuous actions.
(01:25):
Personal changes are created by being persistent in our actions until they become a habit.
It was Aristotle's belief that excellence, aret in Greek, is the supreme goal of human
life.
For him, excellence was the purpose of life.
Another ancient sage, Confucius, taught that personal growth is essential to attaining
(01:46):
virtue and wisdom.
He believed in the importance of self-improvement through continuous learning and reflection
on actions and decisions.
According to Confucius, we must be willing to change our behavior and habits if they
do not align with the path of virtue and righteousness.
In short, for Confucius, change is a key tool to becoming virtuous and wise.
(02:09):
He believed that to follow the path of virtue, one must change their behavior by practicing
self-improvement and self-reflection.
He believed that people should be an example of virtues such as honesty, respect, generosity,
personal discipline, and humility.
This requires individuals to examine their own thoughts and actions and to try and lead
(02:32):
a more ethical and conscious life.
The book The Analex collects his maxims, and one of them, Confucius, describes his own
path.
From the age of 15, my heart and mind were focused on learning.
At 30, he knew what to do.
By the time I was 40, I no longer hesitated, at 50, I fulfilled the command of heaven.
(02:55):
At 60, it was in harmony with the mandate.
At 70, I could unleash my heart and mind without overstepping boundaries.
As you can see from the quote, Confucius's path was long and required effort.
Only at the end of his life, after many years, had the path of virtue become a natural part
of him, and he no longer needed to keep the virtues in mind since they were now part of
(03:20):
his character.
According to Aristotle and Confucius, there are no magic recipes for becoming an excellent
person.
It is achieved through effort and persistence.
To attain the full life, you will require the determination and persistence of the ancients
mentioned.
You know what happens with most New Year's resolutions.
(03:40):
They are never kept.
Good intentions are not enough.
Jim Lair and Tony Schwartz are two authors and consultants, known for their work on stress
management, leadership development, and life skills.
The two created The Energy Project, a global consultancy that uses the latest research
in neuroscience and fosters resilience.
(04:03):
In their book The Power of Full Engagement, they gave the following ideas for success
with personal change.
1. Energy is the key to excellence in everything we do, productivity, business running, social
relationships, daily activity, self-care, among others.
2. Energy is renewable, but it is also limited and must be properly managed.
(04:27):
3. It is necessary to know how energy is distributed in our daily lives to balance work and rest.
4. We need to be more mindful of managing our energy.
5. Stress management is essential to managing mental and emotional energy appropriately.
Their book concludes that gradual change is better than being overly ambitious, often
(04:50):
leading to failure.
It is best to look for small successes, as success feeds on itself.
Be realistic with your goals and persistent.
In the end, a lack of energy or willpower is one of the barriers to achieving your goal
for change.
Roy Baumeister is an American social psychologist known worldwide for researching willpower and
(05:11):
decision-making in everyday life.
His research is widely cited and used in the fields of psychology, health, and wellness.
Baumeister is known for developing the concept of ego depletion, which states that willpower
is a limited resource, and that its use tires the brain and diminishes when we undertake
other tasks.
(05:32):
Baumeister published a book entitled Willpower, in which he recounted his famous cookie experiment.
Participants in the experiment were instructed to measure the time it would take them to
complete the puzzle.
However, the actual experiment took place in a waiting room.
This room had a plate with cookies and another with radishes.
(05:53):
The participants were divided into two groups.
One was told not to touch the cookies, but could eat whatever radishes they wanted.
The other group could eat whatever cookies they wanted.
After some time in the room, they moved into a room where there was an extremely complex
puzzle, practically impossible to complete.
It was found that the participants who were not allowed to eat the cookies abandoned the
(06:17):
puzzle earlier than the group who could eat the cookies.
In a way, refraining from eating the cookies had exhausted their willpower.
Baumeister showed that people who inhibit their desires have a harder time staying focused,
resisting temptation, and generally continuing to work on tasks for an extended period of
time.
(06:37):
In addition, he showed how practice improves willpower and self-control.
For example, if you regularly practice self-discipline and get your brain used to self-control, it
becomes more effective and less tiring.
Baumeister has also explored how factors such as nutrition, stress, and alcohol consumption
affect willpower and the ability to self-control.
(07:00):
In short, Baumeister, with his research on willpower and self-control, has made it possible
to regulate our behavior to achieve goals and lead a healthier, more balanced life.
As the Irish writer Oscar Wilde said, I can resist anything but temptation.
Baumeister helps us to resist temptation.
Finally, I recommend three steps to help you succeed in achieving your personal change.
(07:26):
1.
Focus on a few goals.
Think about what outcome you want to achieve because of what you've discovered during
this book.
Focus on a few important goals, perhaps one to three.
2.
Create a positive attitude toward the change you want.
Start by believing in yourself.
Do you have negative thoughts about your ability to achieve something?
(07:49):
Look to the future with hope.
Personal development starts when you focus on action.
Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford car brand, said, if you think you can do something or
you can't do it, you're right both.
Examples of changing your thinking.
Limiting beliefs.
I can't do it.
I can't learn new things.
(08:09):
I can't change.
It doesn't matter what I do.
Empowering beliefs.
There is always a solution.
I can improve.
I can change.
What I do is worth it.
3.
Get support from others.
Social support is critical for you to succeed in your change.
(08:29):
You can learn from the example of other successful people, and they can also give you emotional
support when you need it.
If possible, talk to someone you trust and ask for their help.
You can share with them the goals you've set for yourself and ask for their advice.
There are certain rules that person must listen without interrupting.
(08:49):
They can ask questions to clarify aspects that are not clear, and very importantly,
they should not judge you.
Final thoughts.
We have come to the end of this book.
My goal has been to help you achieve the full life.
I hope that the book's message and its exercises have helped you discover your ifica, your purpose.
(09:11):
In the end, success in your life depends largely on you.
Of course, every life has its own circumstances.
You find yourself in those circumstances and must make the best decision and be clear about
your values and purpose.
Doing so will help you make better decisions.
And remember the rule of minimizing your regret.
(09:32):
When you face an important decision about your life, think and ask yourself,
If I don't do this, will I regret it in the future when it's too late?
Take advantage of your life, for you really do have treasure in your hands.
One of my favorite philosophers is Bertrand Russell.
He is one of the founders of analytic philosophy and is known for his work in mathematical
(09:55):
logic, set theory, epistemology, and metaphysics.
He is also a political and social activist, advocating for world peace and eliminating
nuclear weapons.
He won the Nobel Prize in literature in 1950 for advocating humanism and freedom of thought.
He died in 1970 at the age of 97.
(10:17):
In a short essay entitled, How to Grow Old, he wrote,
An individual human existence should be like a river, small at first, narrowly contained
within its banks and rushing passionately past rocks and over waterfalls.
Gradually, the river grows wider, the banks recede, the water flows more quietly, and
(10:41):
in the end, without any visible break, they become merged in the sea and painlessly lose
their individual being.
The Russell River is a good metaphor for life.
I'll leave you with one final quote.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
(11:01):
The second best time is now, Confucius.
It's never too late to live the full life you deserve.
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