1. The Monogamy blueprint.

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Episode Summary

In this inaugural episode, Alan Cox introduces the concept of the "Monogamy Blueprint" - a framework for gay men to consciously design committed relationships that align with their authentic values and desires.

Key Topics Explored

Who This Podcast Is For

• Gay men currently in monogamous relationships seeking to strengthen them
• Single gay men desiring monogamy but struggling to find it
• Those questioning whether monogamy is right for them
• Men in open relationships reconsidering their path

The Seven Cornerstones of the Monogamy Blueprint

1. Conscious Definition

• Taking time to specifically define what monogamy means to you
• Understanding that definitions vary: sexual exclusivity, emotional boundaries, online interactions
• Client story: Michael and James, who discovered they had different definitions after five years together

2. Cultural Context

• Navigating the complex relationship with monogamy as gay men
• Addressing the pressure against monogamy in some gay circles
• Client story: Brad, who felt his desire for monogamy made him "boring" or "assimilationist"

3. Motivation Clarity

• Examining why you want monogamy - fear-based vs. positive motivations
• The importance of choosing monogamy rather than defaulting to it
• Client story: Marcus, who realized his desire for monogamy was about presence, not possessiveness

4. Needs Assessment

• Evaluating which core needs must be met within a monogamous relationship
• Balancing expectations with reality
• Client story: Jason and David, whose seven-year relationship faced challenges over unmet needs

5. Sustainable Agreements

• Creating living agreements that evolve over time
• Components of effective agreements: clear boundaries, communication protocols, support systems, renewal mechanisms
• Client story: Richard and Steven's quarterly "relationship summits" over 20 years

6. Identity Integration

• Reconciling gay identity with monogamous commitment
• Understanding the historical context of gay liberation and sexual freedom
• Client story: Terry, who worried monogamy would betray his advocacy for sexual freedom

7. Growth Orientation

• Designing a relationship that fosters development rather than constraint
• How security and trust create foundations for personal transformation
• Client story: William and Luis, whose secure bond supported individual growth

Practical Exercises

1. Values Excavation: Identify your top five relationship values and consider how monogamy supports or challenges each
2. Boundary Clarification: Imagine different scenarios to identify your personal boundaries within monogamy
3. Motivation Examination: Complete "I want monogamy because..." to discover deeper motivations

Resources Mentioned

• Alan's book: "From Casual to Committed"
• Free 30-minute Blueprint Consultation
• ICF-accredited Life Coach training through Coaching Masters

Connect With Alan

• Email: [e-mail]
• Website: gaymonogamycoach.com
• Instagram: @GayMonogamyCoach

Episode Music

• La Nouvelle Lune by Reveille

The Gay Monogamy Coach Podcast explores the unique challenges and opportunities of monogamous relationships for gay men, providing insights, strategies, and permission

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