Fiona Brennan is a best selling author, motivational speaker and highly sought after therapist. In this conversation Fiona shares her journey from the world of theatre to becoming a leading figure in personal development. She gives us insights on the importance of positivity, self-love, and the transformative power of therapy, especially through motherhood.
We discuss the significance of habits in personal growth, the challenges of toxic positivity, and the necessity of seeking help. Fiona emphasises that true healing comes from within and that love is the ultimate force in overcoming life's challenges.
You can find out more about Fiona on her website: https://www.thepositivehabit.com
Her books: https://thepositivehabit.com/books/
Check out her upcoming retreats here: https://thepositivehabit.com/upcoming-events/
Follow Fiona on Social Media
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_positive_habit_/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-niamh-brennan-the-positive-habit-8275128b/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FionaBrennanThePositiveHabit/
Let’s keep raising the vibration—together 💛
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to The High Vibration Reset, the podcast for ambitious
women ready to step into their next level of success without
burnout, overthinking, or ever feeling undervalued.
I'm Kyra Conlan and I've spent the past 18 years helping
ambitious women to shift their mindset, elevate their energy
(00:23):
and lead with more confidence. So welcome to Season 2 of the
podcast. And in this season I will be
interviewing some really interesting people, coaches,
therapists, podcasters, people doing great work in the world.
And the aim is to give you regular practical tips for
(00:47):
raising your vibration, but alsoways to reset when things don't
go to plan. I'm very excited to introduce my
very first guest, Fiona Brennan.Now, Fiona is CEO of The
Positive Habit, a Wellness company dedicated to helping
people make positivity their default state of mind.
(01:10):
She's also a motivational speaker, best selling author of
three books, and a highly soughtafter therapist.
I wanted to bring Fiona on to talk about the subconscious
mind, but also how she maintainsthat wonderful high vibration
that you'll see in this podcast.I know you're gonna love the
(01:32):
conversation. I planned for the episode to be
30 minutes, but we ran over because there were so many
questions that I wanted to ask her.
But look, let's get into it. Let us know in the comments what
you thought of the episode and if you're enjoying this podcast,
please follow so that you'll getyour updates and be informed
(01:56):
live when the next episode is out.
Hope you enjoy. Hello, So Fiona Brennan, thank
you so much for being my first guest on the High Vibration
Reset. Very exciting.
I know it is. I'm absolutely delighted.
Thank you, Kira. It feels amazing to be the first
(02:18):
guest on a podcast. Thank you.
Thank you, 1000. Brilliant.
Brilliant. We're both delighted and
excited. We are, yeah.
It feels very special. Fiona is a coach, a motivational
speaker, a therapist, hypnotherapist, best selling
author and CEO of The Positive Habit.
(02:43):
And I want to get this right because I loved this.
So your mission is to guide thousands towards making
positivity their default state of mind?
I love it, yes. I need to change that.
I need to say millions. At this stage I was thinking
already done thousands for I. Was going to call you out on
(03:03):
that one. I was, and surely hundreds of
thousands now at this stage. I hope so, Kira.
Yeah, yeah. No.
Brilliant. So this is what you don't know.
I came across you first and inside Timer.
Yeah. Yeah.
Not a very long time ago, so I remember seeing a fellow Irish
(03:25):
person and I thought. Oh.
And I listened to one of your meditations as I must reach out
to that lovely woman. And I never did.
OK. Yeah.
So then you reached out to me after a Claire McKenna interview
that I did. And you sent me a lovely
message. Yeah.
So then you've been in my radar since then?
(03:47):
Oh, lovely. Kira, do you know inside timer
is a great resource, to be honest.
And it's, it's interesting because I've been on it for
years and I, I'm only starting now to actually interact a
little bit more with it because it's like, I think I've, I don't
know how many followers, but it's, it's kind of effortless in
the sense, you know, of growing an audience there because it's a
(04:11):
worldwide platform. And I think it's just wonderful
that it's there. Like, I use it all the time
myself, you know, to, yeah, listen to other people from all
over the world. So it's a fantastic resource,
like it really is. So that's how even 2 Irish women
connect, huh? So it's.
It is a fantastic. Yeah, exactly.
(04:33):
But look what I'd love to know, and it always intrigues me how
you came to do what you do because, you know, when we were
growing up in the Irish school system, it wasn't exactly a
choice, an option. When you went to the career
guidance counsellor, you know, it was, yeah, medicine, law,
business, or maybe a teacher, not a motivational speaker and
(04:54):
hypnotherapist, yeah. Well, I suppose I've never
really followed a very conventional path to be honest,
Kira. The 1st 10 years of my life in
terms of work and career were spent in the world and field of
theatre acting. And yeah, so that was something
(05:16):
that I was incredibly driven by and to, to do.
It was a very strong calling that I had.
And I suppose that, you know, I was also someone who had had a
lot of upheaval, emotional sort of turmoil in my own life.
(05:42):
I'm a very, I'm a very emotionalperson and, and that that is
pretty good in the world of acting because you have to
access a lot of emotions. Of course, always been
fascinated by the human mind and, and why people do things
they do, which again, is very much connected into acting.
(06:04):
You're studying characters, you're trying to understand
them. You're just, you know, you're
exhibiting their emotions and you're, you're getting into
their world. And however, that's the kind of,
you know, not the shiny side of it, but the reality was that I
was struggling a lot. And, you know, my sense of
(06:25):
identity was very much wrapped up into my sense of achievement,
if you like. So most of the time as an actor,
you know, unless you really are one of the few, you're out of
work, you know, so I spent and you're going in and it's, it's
basically, I mean, honestly, it's good training for the field
of rejection because you, you just get them time and time
(06:49):
again. And you know, it's very, you
need such a like, I think that this, there's a whole area of
body work that needs to be done in this field because you're
very vulnerable, especially whenyou're younger.
And so much of it for me was like, Oh, I'm not, you know,
maybe I'm not getting the job because I'm not pretty enough,
or I'm too thin or I'm too fat or I'm blonde and I should be
(07:12):
dark and I should be this. And I should, you know, every
single thing that I could think of why I didn't get the job, but
I know now why I didn't get a lot of jobs.
And that was that I, I simply didn't have the faith or the
confidence in myself. And when someone walks into a
room and they don't have that faith and confidence in
themselves, it's very hard for other people to do so.
(07:34):
So I picked up easily. Yeah.
Yeah. So it was quite a tumultuous,
exciting time as well. Like, I don't want to paint all
this, you know, this negative thing.
It wasn't. It was like I was very.
I've always been very entrepreneurial.
Always, always like from a very early, early age, you know, when
there wasn't work, I, I set up theatre companies with other
(07:57):
actors. I, I made things happen rather
than just sit around. And I think I've always had that
drive, you know, and but what happened was it was 2007 January
and I just decided like right inthe middle of a successful run,
I was actually work play that was going very, very, very well.
(08:19):
Full house was booked out and I was playing this character and
honestly care it like she was. It was just so raw.
And that was put myself through the ringer night after night at
this woman who who had gone through such misfortune,
miscarriage, was being abused byher husband, every kind of
(08:39):
thing. And again, what I didn't know
then is that that the the way the subconscious mind works is
it doesn't know the difference between reality and imagination.
So I'm going through all of this, you know, without any kind
of protective yields or shield for my own nervous system.
And that was just a lack of awareness.
You know, I didn't know why I felt so dreadful.
(09:00):
And but, you know, looking back,it's kind of obvious.
But I had this epiphany on stage, which was I don't want to
do this anymore. And it came to me like a bolt.
Now it just was like an electricshock right there in the middle
of the stage with the audience in front of me.
What a thought to, to, to receive because I have, you
(09:21):
know, you have to keep going. You're on stage.
You can't just walk off. But I felt like walking off.
And of course I didn't. And I, I saw it through and I, I
did, I can proudly say I gave itmy best.
Even with that knowledge inside,I did give it my best.
But I'll be honest as well, I'venever, I haven't looked back
(09:41):
since. And you know, what was driving
me towards the career now that I've had, and it's the last 13
years I've been doing this work and is essentially the
characters that I saw suffer. I, I couldn't bear to, to
continue to watch them suffer. You know, especially in theatre,
(10:02):
it's not Hollywood in terms of happy ending.
It's often very dramatic and youknow, tragedy.
And I wanted to somehow make it better for them, which of course
I couldn't, I wasn't the playwright.
And so this work now there was just a very strong pull towards
helping people alleviate emotional pain and suffering.
(10:27):
And I'm very, very skilled at that.
And because I suppose, first of all, I understand it first hand,
but second of all, I've just built up over the years an
incredible ability to, to, to see patterns within a person and
(10:49):
to recognize how and when to intervene.
You know, it's, it's a very skilled job.
I mean, I don't really identify as a coach as such, to be
honest. I am a therapist, if you like.
And you know, and a lot of my work is, it's quite deep.
And you know, in terms of, I will look at the full picture
(11:10):
of, of what's happening for, formy clients.
And, and it's only through that actually do you get sustainable
shifts. Because when I first started
ages as a clinical hypnotherapist, there is this
kind of misconception, which I've done a lot of work to kind
of breakdown is that, you know, it's a magic wand and you, you
know, you want to lose weight, you go to hypnosis and you'll
(11:33):
lose weight and that'll be that.And you don't have to do
anything. And it's just not the case.
I mean, hypnotherapy is a very, very powerful tool, but it is
just a tool and it does deal with the subconscious mind,
which is why it's so powerful. And, but I think that, you know,
we do need to be, I, I'm a big believer and being ethical.
(11:57):
And I suppose, you know, that that came on pretty early in my
work that I realized if I was really going to, to help people,
I needed to, to take a very sortof unique approach.
And one that I was was sort of cultivating and creating.
(12:20):
So the dark night of the soul itit didn't give you any warning?
No on stage. Yeah, like exactly.
And I suppose with these things though, Kara, like it feels like
it's out of a bolt out of the blue.
But if you're actually, you lookback and you see there were
there, I'm sure there were loadsof warnings to me, but I just
(12:42):
didn't have the awareness. I was completely, uh, oblivious
to, to all of this. I wasn't in touch with my body.
I wasn't in touch with my thoughts.
I wasn't, I wasn't in touch withmyself and.
So. So what happened next?
So you're on stage. You have the epiphany.
This isn't the life that I want.You said that you were a very
(13:02):
emotional person. You were very raw with all these
feelings. So how did you get to, you know,
realize that or do your own healing, I suppose, before you?
Well, I went out and worked on others.
I think motherhood, motherhood. So I had at that point I was
really like, I got married. I suppose today you say I was
(13:23):
quite young, but I was 28 when Igot married and I wanted to have
a baby. Like I was always someone who
wanted to have children. I just absolutely adore them.
But it took me a good few years to get pregnant.
So I was going on that journey as well throughout those, the,
the plays and the auditions and all of that.
And maybe subconsciously something I knew that somewhere
(13:47):
deep down, I really believe we have so much wisdom and
intuition. I kind of knew that if I was
going to continue living that life, which was late nights,
pubs, you know, that whole kind of world, that I wasn't going to
give myself the best chance of, of what I really wanted.
And so that was January 2007. And my my son was born in in
(14:07):
December 2007. Wow.
So like, you know, he's 17 now and I am literally like the sun
shines. As far as I'm concerned.
Luca is the words, the name Lucais light.
And he to me, he just exudes light.
And so when he was, you know, a toddler, I or yeah, when he was
(14:31):
a baby, I stopped working altogether and which was very
hard financially. We didn't have, you know, these
days you need 2 incomes coming in.
Yeah. But I was pretty determined.
Like I'm a very determined person.
And I was determined that I was going to be with him at least as
as much as, you know, for the full, first full year.
I said in 12 months, I'm not doing anything else and I don't
(14:54):
care. And it's the best thing that I
ever did in terms of just that, you know, and I know it's not
accessible to everyone. It's, you know, it was a it was
a luxury in many ways, but I wasjust determined.
And God, we're rewinding a lot here, Kira.
But, but essentially like what happened, I suppose when you
asked me, where did I get now? It was really through being a
(15:17):
mother, and I think I've seen this with my clients, is that
you start to see the patterns ofyour own behavior and you start
to see the impact that they haveon your child or, or, and I
remember there was another raw moment where I just lost it.
I, I lost my, you know, shit. And I yeah.
(15:40):
I hear you. Sister, it was just awful, like
the the guilt and the shame for.For.
Shouting and screaming at my little boy because he couldn't
put his shoes on fast enough forme.
Just lost it. And I remember like I can still
see his face and I just, I just broke down and I knew I needed
help like this wasn't right. But that's sometimes what it
(16:03):
takes, you know, is that you just know in your heart this,
this is just so wrong. Like, I'm a kind, loving person.
What's going on? Absolutely.
But it's so I'm delighted, you know, that you've had the
vulnerability to share that. And it's really important for
young mothers to know that, yeah, it's the most difficult
job in the world. Yes, it's.
Much, You know, we adore our children.
(16:26):
They really drive us, you know, to the edge.
I've had that experience, Fiona.Yeah.
And that has been, I can thank, you know, one of my sons in
particular, you know, who you are, who, you know, brought me
to that moment where I had to change.
Yeah. I realized that this wasn't
working. So they are our teachers.
(16:48):
There are teachers and I and where I lived at the time, I, I
used to walk past and there was this, it said psychotherapy.
I didn't even really know what psychotherapy actually meant.
Was that a psychologist? Was it a you know, what was, I
didn't know the difference between all these psychiatrists.
What does that mean? You know and.
Need to before then. Yeah, but it said low cost
(17:08):
available and like I said, we didn't have a lot of money back
then. And I thought, I remember
thinking, God, maybe I could do that.
But even back then care, like there was a lot of shame and
stigma around it. Like I didn't tell, I didn't
tell care on my husband. I didn't tell my family, I
didn't tell my friends. I didn't tell anybody.
(17:28):
Whereas now you can quite openlysay I'm going to therapy, but I,
I just felt like it was something maybe to be ashamed
over a week. There's something wrong with
you. Yeah, Yeah.
Which we know, of course. Yeah, yeah.
In being able to do it now. Yeah, yeah.
But I went solidly, I'd say for a year and a half, two years.
(17:51):
And within that time, I'd had a miscarriage because we've wanted
another baby and I've gone through huge amount.
And, and basically I, I cried like a lot in those sessions.
And, and that's where the healing started.
And yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, that's,
(18:12):
that's where everything started to shift.
And my therapist was really lovely.
And, and a good therapist will always have your your back.
And I remember her saying to me,Fiona, I have a feeling you're
going to go ahead and do something marvelous.
Oh, wonderful. And I didn't, I was like, what
is she talking about? How, how, what can I do?
I'm just a bag of tears here, you know?
(18:34):
But I think she saw on me My, my, my determination and my
compassion. And, you know, that I suppose
is, is the strengths that that still serve me today.
And, you know, I feel like I am now a walking talking, I
(18:56):
suppose, recreation of of, of what it is to be high vibration.
You're, you know, the name of this podcast.
Yeah, I I know that that I am capable of creating positive
energy even even through great suffering.
(19:17):
You know, I lost my dad not not long ago at all in a very
traumatic way. Yeah, I am.
So life, life as we know, Kara throws challenges at us.
And the work that I have done onmyself all the way rewinding to
that little therapy room, what must be now 15 years ago and to
(19:39):
where I am today. And all of the work I've done
since then in terms of my own training, the books I've
written, everything that I've created is like this huge
beautiful hammock that holds me.And I've managed to, you know,
and, and what I really always want to do was to was to share
(20:00):
that because when you experiencesomething quite profound, you
actually. Want to share that?
And you want to say, look, it isit is possible like a friend of
mine, Brian Penny, I'm sure you know his work, Brian Penny, but
his his tagline is change as possible.
And it's like, yes, yes, it is actually, you know, and he's
very simple. But true, because a lot of
(20:22):
people don't believe it is. They believe they're stuck in
the reality that they. Yeah, that they can see.
Yeah, yeah. I love that a hammock can really
visualize that picture at all this positive stuff to support
you and nurture you. And yeah.
I think it's important to be clear though, it is a training,
it is a practice and it's one that you have to keep.
(20:44):
Absolutely. You know, yeah, it's work.
It's there's a bit of work. Even though work sounds like
it's, you know, I think we have unfortunate negative
connotations with the word work,right?
But I suppose it's like it's devotion or it's a commitment.
It's love. It's.
That's a lot nicer. A lot nicer description.
Yeah. But I know exactly what you mean
(21:05):
here. Like in terms of work.
Yeah, it's it's there is a, there is a conscious effort.
Yeah. Absolutely.
Yeah. So tell me this like a lot of
the the women that I would work with, you know, some of the
words that you hear are stuck. I feel lost.
If you are working with somebodynow or what's your advice?
(21:26):
Let's say even if somebody doesn't feel brave enough to go
and get help or get a therapist or you know, a coach or whatever
it is they need, where would youadvise them to start?
Well, it's a bit like, you know,what I was saying earlier in
(21:47):
terms of that the signals were there.
I was walking past that office and I saw, but it was only me
who could actually walk in that door.
No one else was going to walk inthe door and do it for me.
So, you know, quite often over the years people have contacted
me saying, will you see my wife,my husband, my sister, my
brother, my dog, whatever might be.
(22:08):
And the answer is no, unless they they are in a position to
contact me directly and really want to do this themselves.
So, you know, I think that that realization can only come from
the person. There's nothing that that anyone
(22:29):
else can actually do. I mean, the positives are that
we live in a world that is much more open to this.
And you know, we see it everywhere now and it's not that
long ago what we're talking about, you know, in terms of,
you know, even 1015 years, it's not that long, but but things
(22:49):
have shifted so significantly. And so I do think we're in a
better place than we were. I think the workplace still has
a yards and thousands of miles to go before it becomes truly
sort of safe for people to, to speak about their emotional and,
and mental well-being because, you know, they're still stigmas
(23:13):
there and people still hold back, which I can understand,
you know? And a lot of organizations have
these initiatives, but most of the employees don't really
believe that, you know they're genuine or that they can.
Yeah, Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
So in terms of so I binge your content over the weekend and
(23:34):
thank you for giving me a lovelypositive weekend.
A lot of good stuff there. Fiona.
So one of your books is the selflove habit.
So in terms of let's say, if somebody's starting out looking
at your content, you know, wouldyou be advising them to look at?
Yeah, beautiful. Really, really good content.
(23:58):
You know, is that the first place to start for somebody who
wants to change, Who's ready to change?
Or would you be looking at your other book, A Positive Habit?
You know you. Know what it's like here?
It's like children. You know what it's like someone,
(24:18):
someone says, oh, I'm talking about myself, I'll show you a
picture. It's a bit like that.
You can't help yourself because they are babies, too.
Yeah. Very lucky my books have got
some of my books I say now don'tread that one no this one yes
yeah yeah one is the one to readso you're lucky that you still
feel proud of of all your books I.
Do I do? Yeah, definitely.
(24:40):
And I, I think it, if you were new to my work and you're new
to, to, to this whole world, if you like, of, let's say positive
habits, neuroplastic training, meditation, you know,
affirmations, all, of all of thework, I would say start with the
positive habit. To be honest.
It's, it is, it's still my best selling book, to be honest, out
(25:00):
of all all three of them. But it's, it is the one that I
think has had the most impact on, on, on people all over the
world. I had someone from Australia
contact me who, who read it and wants to, you know, was booking
in to see me. So there's a whole, it's really
reached far and wide, which I I'm very happy about.
(25:21):
And so positivity sometimes getsa bad name, you know?
Yeah. We hear about the toxic
positivity, so does your definition of positivity, is it
still the same as it was when you wrote that book, or has it
shifted any or what? What does it mean or what are
you trying to encourage people to do?
I think it's, if anything, I'd say that this work is even more
(25:45):
relevant and I, no, it hasn't shifted at all since I wrote the
book. I think that it, it's, you know,
clear, like even just from what I've been saying already, like
the most positive thing we can do is feel our emotions, right?
So feeling is healing. Toxic positivity is, it's kind
(26:06):
of like to be honest, it's just not really even it's, it's, it's
sort of looking at it something with such a narrow lens, right?
But essentially, I really do believe that we all have an
innate capacity for happiness and regardless of, of of of what
(26:27):
what situations are are are happening to us.
And simply by, by, we need to train our mind to, to have that
positive offsets. Because the way that the brain
works, it is a strong threat detection system.
It is programmed to look towardsthe negative in terms of the
(26:48):
negativity bias to keep us alive.
It's an out of date model. And that can 'cause so much
suffering. So what, we have to take sort of
some control of this, otherwise we're at the mercy of this, you
know, brain that produces thoughts that we believe.
(27:08):
And yeah, yeah. And I love the Marcus Aurelius
quote, You know, he said, umm, the happiness of your life, eh,
depends on the quality of your thoughts.
So, you know, this book is really like, I'm really proud of
it because it's so practical andit's so kind of getting into the
(27:28):
knob of that, that that thinkingis a habit.
And essentially it's about creating six different positive
emotional states. And it's very empowering to know
that we can do that and that we have the capacity to to create
these emotional states. And it's, it's incredibly
inspiring and hopeful. And, you know, I think that that
(27:52):
message, you know, needs to be repeated and heard again and
again and again and across the world, really.
Absolutely. And that's, you know, with a lot
of the work that I do, it's thathelping people to realize that
they can control their thoughts,that their thoughts aren't just
there, that they, you know, theyare the master of what's going
(28:16):
on up there. Now again, it takes some
practice, but so that is one of the one of the reasons I was
attracted to you was the word habit, because as you may know,
that is something that I work a lot with with the habit piece.
And my last book, Rise Before Your Bull and Other Habits of
(28:39):
Successful People took me 10 years to write.
Why I wrote was because I Washington, I was just could not
understand why I couldn't createhabits.
So I went on this long search to, you know, start to
understand habits, to research habits.
(28:59):
And, and it took me that long towrite because that's how long it
took me to create the habit of rising early, which was the
habit I wanted to create becauseI knew at that stage of my life,
because my kids were small, I wanted to create that space for
myself in the morning to, you know, meditate to do all the
things we want to do. So, you know, that was why it
(29:21):
was so intriguing for me. And by this stage, 10 years
later and after writing a book, I do know how to create habits.
But, yeah, well done for you. Obviously, it was quite a big
thing for you, habit where you understood that real change
happens through habit, through our daily actions.
(29:42):
Yeah. And I suppose what I'm always
the caveat with that is that I think we we can't stay at the
surface level of just, you know,even this morning I had a client
who said she wants exactly, it'slike bizarre.
She wants to get up in the morning and she's struggling
with it and she's giving herselfa hard time over it.
Why can't she just do it? So I'm always interested, but
what's the block there? Like there's no point just being
(30:05):
hard on yourself. You know that you can't somehow
do this. We need to understand.
Keep pushing. Pushing doesn't work.
It's a much deeper issue. Like it seems like it's just
surface. It seems like, you know, it's
very logical. Anyone can tell you, you know,
this is what you need to do. You know, it's, it's, it's not
rocket science. Like it's back to what our
(30:25):
mothers would have said, you know, eat well, get up, you
know, he's early to bed. And all those things, those,
those, those cliches are all still the same.
So it's not lack of education orknowledge, but it's, it's
understanding what's holding youback.
Why, why don't you value yourself enough to create that
positive habit, Right. And quite often it comes down
(30:46):
to, you know, sort of holding back because you don't value
yourself that you're putting other people first all the time.
And that may seem like a selfless thing to do, but it
isn't. It's actually selfish.
And quite often when you start to unpack it, you can see that
this is actually, you know, it's, it's a place for you to
(31:06):
hide behind perhaps. And it's also, you know, sort of
people can get stuck in martyrdom, you know, or
victimhood or all of these very unhealthy patterns.
So I think that it has to work like we always have to work on
those two levels, The, the, the,the conscious desire, if you
like, and then the subconscious,what's going on there and what's
(31:29):
holding, holding back these blocks in the subconscious mind?
And, you know, often they go right back into our early, early
years, you know, and that's, that's the work that I would
have done back in that therapy room.
You know, that was exploring andunderstanding my own childhood
from a position that I'd never done before.
(31:50):
You know, and most people don't do that or you know more now,
but but you know, it's somethingthat we all we all need to do
really on some level. And, and it's the best gift you
give to to yourself and, and to everybody you love really, you
know. And it is interesting because I
know when I started going deeperinto this work, it was initially
(32:11):
I was kind of, I don't need emotional healing.
I had a normal life, a normal upbringing, but by God did I got
a smack in the face, you know? So we all have some level of
emotional healing to do. Yes, exactly.
Yeah. And you know, it's it's that it,
it's so understandable to be protective around it.
(32:32):
You know, it's like, I don't want to.
It's almost a fear you can see in people and it's so
understandable. If I open that, what's going to
happen? Is it going to just, is it going
to be so overwhelming? I won't be able to, to, to cope.
So, you know, it's always about reassuring people to, to work
with them in a gentle, very manageable way, slowly and with
(32:55):
a lot of awareness, a lot of heart, you know, I, I really
believe in moving from the busy brain and into the heart.
And because I feel that when we live from the heart, it's a very
different energy, very differentexperience.
And, and we are, you know, we'reliving through love rather than
than living through fear like this is if we're up here in the
(33:18):
brain with those fear induced herbs, the world is a
frightening place. But if we, if we can, which we
can train ourselves to drop intothe heart, then we move into a
whole different vibration. Like literally as we, as you
probably know, the heart has a high frequency radius.
(33:38):
I think it's 3 feet around us and the heart radiates.
Yeah, I'm a heart math coach as well, so yeah.
There you go. Yes, exactly.
That's the yeah, the training. And all of that, Yeah.
But just to track back there just slightly in terms of that
fear of unleashing what might bethere, You know, I think it's
(34:00):
important to to say also for a lot of women, for a lot of
mothers, we don't feel like we have the space to do that.
I remember years ago being at a cranial sacral therapist and him
saying to me, I feel like you're.
Just you're just. Holding it all together.
And I remember nearly being angry saying, of course, I'm
(34:21):
effing well holding it all together.
You know, how else do I keep my kids fed and, you know, make
money and all of this? So, but we have to find a little
bit of space for ourselves to start the journey.
And if you can find, I think, you know, a caring and good
therapist, they will manage thatopening up so that, you know, it
(34:45):
doesn't have to be all unleashedat once.
Would not be, you know, fair to say yes.
Yeah, just, you know, and they're.
Interesting. Do it gradually.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
That has to be very, it's very skilled work and it has to be
done gradually. You know, it's, it's, it's so
much better to make small tiny progress rather than trying to,
(35:06):
you know, the, the quick fix thing is, is, is always, um, to
be avoided. Absolutely.
Yeah. So, Fiona, I'd love to keep you
here all day, but I'm not letting you go just yet.
No problem, I'm fine. So many more.
Questions I'd love to ask you, but I have a few that I really
think might help other people interms of your own habits.
(35:28):
So, you know, there are so many things we could be doing, should
be doing, you know, would like to be doing.
What are your personal habits that keep you in a high
vibrational state, that keep youin that lovely positive vibe
that you share around? Yeah, Well, I suppose it's like
(35:49):
everything is in context, right?I think that's so important
because, you know, someone listening to this could have two
young children and a parent in hospital and, you know, they're
going well. It's all very well for a miss
there who you know. And so our lives change at
different stages and we've got to do our best within the the
(36:11):
context of what we have, you know.
And so for example, you know, I had a period there, obviously
that was very, very difficult. My father in hospital and all of
my you know, I do practice very much what I preach.
So, you know, I have, I have like you.
It's almost, Yeah, but it's almost like a little bit,
probably nauseating, like, because I, you know, my son is
(36:34):
17. I've got a lot more time now.
I work for myself, you know, I've got a, I've got a lot of
these things in my favour, right?
That, that in fairness, I have created, but still make it
easier for me. But during that period, you
know, I, I, I, I literally held on as tight as I could to
whatever I could, right, right. So I remember doing, for
(36:59):
example, the park run on The Saturdays because I found, I
found it really hard. I'm not like a marathon run
around, right? So I, I found that a real
endurance thing. So as I was going through it, I
felt like this is actually I'm, I'm kind of mentally and
emotionally going through the it's like the physical
(37:19):
comparison of what I'm having togo through with, with with dad
at the moment. Or I do a really hot yoga class
back. You know, that was actually
hard. I was kind of putting myself
into it sounds like counterproductive, but somehow
it that helped me get through. But in my life now where I I'm
back into it and much more, I suppose, what's the word?
(37:42):
Privileged routine, if you like.You know, I do have a very
strong morning practice that really the, you know, in the
light months of the year consists of getting up and
getting out. Right.
That's it's so powerful, it's sosimple, but I literally get up,
I throw on an old tracksuit, whatever I can and I get outside
(38:05):
and I go for a run and I say runlike it's not again.
So I'm not pushing myself here, right?
I'm kind. Of down the road.
I'm kind of like, yeah, we're kind of rolling down the road a
bit and I'll get as much sunlight into my eyes as I can.
My third book is on sleep. So, you know, I know a lot about
sleep and I want to sleep well and I do sleep unbelievably
(38:27):
well. And so I'm getting that light in
and then I will set my intentionfor for the day.
And actually I've been using inside timer for that reason
because they have a little witches on there.
Yeah, it's really good because you can see it on your phone
then, right. So it's like there.
OK, well, I read you today just for a laugh and absolutely.
(38:48):
Please. OK, hang on now.
Where's it going? Oh yeah, this was in in honor of
your good self-care. So my intention is to keep my
vibration high, help my clients,and be open to dreaming big.
Beautiful. Right.
So I said that this morning and I do that every single day.
So you have it on your phone andthen it just kind of keeps you.
(39:12):
Yeah, it's a little reminder. And I also send it to my son as
a way of, you know, just kind of.
A little. Checking in with him and saying,
look, here you go Pat, I don't know if you even read some, but
I send them to him anyway. And, and I think that's the
thing with with vibration and positive energy is, is always
share it share it and share it and share it when you have it,
(39:34):
share it because it is contagious.
And so, yeah, my morning routinewould be, I suppose that the one
solid thing that I have, you know, that I that I hold on to
and it does set the tone like itis the most important time in
terms of offsetting that your vibration for the day.
(39:55):
Absolutely. Yeah.
So if you like, I know you, you went through a bad period, but
let's say there you have a bad day or two, maybe you're sick or
something. What's the one thing that gets
you back on track? Do you have any kind of?
Self rescue plan or? I would say questioning my
(40:18):
thoughts, like if I see if I know I'm going down, if I can
feel that that you know, I'm I'mgoing into a place that isn't
very I'll I'll stop and I'll pause and I'll actually write
down what am I telling myself here?
And, you know, has so helpful because when you see what you're
saying to yourself, you go, no wonder I'm feeling, yeah, this
(40:42):
is a really strong negative stuff that I'm hurling at
myself. So I would question my thoughts
and, you know, clear them out sothat they're not weighing me
down. And but like I said, that comes
from a place of, of a lot of, ofresource and practice and, and
yeah, like it's that it's, it's that body of work that is, is
(41:08):
there. I think it's like, it's like
money in the bank. You have it so you can, you can
access it. So, you know, I, you know, it's
hard to it because I've been, asI say, haven't gone through
through grief. So it's a different period.
But you know, generally speakingon before, before my dad died, I
that I don't have many bad days.And I don't mean that as a, you
(41:29):
know, but I really don't be because I kind of intervened
quicker. You know, I might have bad
moments, I might have bad hours,but I don't have prolonged
periods of time that I would feel anxious or, or, or.
That's something I always describe to to my clients.
It's like when you start off andyou start to get that awareness,
(41:50):
yes, that you can change. It might take you a couple of
days to reset, maybe a couple ofweeks.
Yeah, beginning. But the more work that you do,
the more you repeat these beautiful habits like setting
intentions, meditation. And when we look after ourself
this way, that reset becomes quicker and quicker, doesn't it?
(42:11):
But it really does, and it's. Still human, you get the
negative thoughts. Yes, Yeah, yeah.
Feel. Crappy some days, yeah.
But also, you know, I think it'simportant to remember, like, you
and I are at this a long time. I'm 18 years now in this field
as well. So, you know, we've had the
(42:32):
opportunity to try out a lot of things, to make mistakes to, you
know, try new habits and see if that fits better.
So it's really important for people to remember that, you
know, we just have to keep trying something.
Some people will say, I tried. Meditation doesn't work for me
now, I don't believe that being a meditation teacher, but it is,
(42:54):
you know, it is that thing. There's some type of meditation,
there's some kind of practice that's going to, to work for
you. And starting small, like you
said, is, is really important. You know, just try one small
thing and keep at it to, you know, because we can all change.
(43:16):
Yeah, it, it is a, a, a big journey for some people, shorter
for others. But the potential is there for
to have a beautiful life like you've created.
You know where where you can stay in that positive energy and
high vibration. Yeah, exactly.
And, and just, I think, you know, our, our, our greatest
(43:39):
expert is ourselves. You know, that, that the wisdom
that we seek and the happiness we seek, it's, it's within us.
And you know, our work, I suppose Kara is, is just helping
people to, to, to let that emerge.
It's already there. You know, it's just a case of
really providing the, the, the environment, predominantly the
(44:00):
environment that that allows that to, to come forth.
And then that becomes the habitual state through through
practice and, and through training.
But essentially we're talking about, you know, you can put the
word positive, happy, you know, but what we're really talking
about is, is love, essentially, you know, and when we go through
(44:25):
difficult, you know, traumatic experiences, it boils down to to
a simple thing that, that in theend, literally in the end, there
is nothing left but love. There's nothing left, none of it
out, nothing else matters. And that perspective, you know,
when you can get that perspective into your life every
(44:46):
day, it just transforms how you live, the relationships you
have, what you once would have got stressed about.
It's just not important. It's just not, it's just not
relevant. It's like.
There's the mic drop. Yeah, not nothing else but love.
That's a beautiful place to maybe wrap up because I don't
(45:07):
want to ramble on anymore after that beautiful thought that
you're leaving us with. But Fiona, you have some
retreats coming up, I do. Going to tell us about them.
Sure. Yeah, Thank you, Kira.
Yeah. So I have a one day event, the
Art of Living that is happening on Sunday, May 18th in
Blessington, the Avon. It's a lovely, I don't know if
(45:29):
you've ever been here, but it's a gorgeous venue, beautiful.
It overlooks the Blessington Lakes and it's just very, very
stoning place. And that's happening.
And then also I'm bringing a group or a group is coming out
to me in crease in June for a 7 day.
Very immersive and experience that this is the the 4th one
(45:51):
we've run and light up retreats myself and my husband Karen who
who now works at me full time and has done for the last 94
years which is amazing. You're positive and happy.
We often we joke and we say if we didn't, if this wasn't the
work that we were doing, we probably have killed each other.
(46:15):
We have a lot to learn from you.Seriously, it's, it's, it's not
for the faint targeted, but we, we do, we do with them and we do
our, you know, we were very happy.
Yeah. And so those are the 2 events
and you can find out about them on my website, the Positive
habit or my Instagram, which is the positive habit.
And all the information on your books and courses and retreats
(46:40):
are on your your website. And we'll put all that in the in
the show notes after. Thank you, Kieran.
So I am so grateful that you agreed to come on the podcast
and share your wisdom. We might have to have you back
again because we left a lot unsaid.
I'm sure we can learn a lot morefrom you.
(47:01):
So thank you, Kira, you've definitely, you've definitely
risen my vibration or you're helping me with my intention
today because you, you exude lovely energy as well.
So thank you so much. Thank you.
Have a wonderful day, SO. I hope you enjoyed that
conversation, I certainly did, and I hope you got some really
(47:21):
good ideas for how to allow yourself to stay in high
vibration more frequently. Remember, this podcast is
accompanied by a quiz, the High Vibration Reset Quiz, and that
quiz will show you the energeticblock most likely keeping you
stuck right now. So don't forget to take the quiz
(47:43):
and after taking it, you will beguided to the podcast episode
that has been recorded specifically for your success
block archetype. You'll also receive a free
meditation which will help you to remove that specific block
(48:07):
now. What I really hope.
That you got from this episode is that you are never too stuck
or too lost or even too messed up to reset.
Seek out a therapist or a coach to help you to get unstuck.
There are fabulous, kind and loving therapists like Fiona are
(48:29):
conscious, supportive coaches tohelp you on your path to feeling
whole again. If you want to find out more
about Fiona, her website is the positivehabit.com and you'll
find all the details of her books which I highly recommend,
her upcoming retreats and how towork with her in general.
(48:53):
The links are below in the show notes, and if you want to find
out more about working with me, you can find details on my
website of all of my coaching programs, information on the
Lifelow community, or the Lifelow Planner, which is
created to help you stay organized and on track with your
(49:15):
goals. So thank you for joining us and
make sure you're following the podcast so that you don't miss
the next episode. Have a beautiful inner day.
Welcome to The High Vibration Reset, the podcast for ambitious
women ready to step into their next level of success without
burnout, overthinking, or ever feeling undervalued.
I'm Kyra Conlan and I've spent the past 18 years helping
ambitious women to shift their mindset, elevate their energy
(00:23):
and lead with more confidence. So welcome to Season 2 of the
podcast. And in this season I will be
interviewing some really interesting people, coaches,
therapists, podcasters, people doing great work in the world.
And the aim is to give you regular practical tips for
(00:47):
raising your vibration, but alsoways to reset when things don't
go to plan. I'm very excited to introduce my
very first guest, Fiona Brennan.Now, Fiona is CEO of The
Positive Habit, a Wellness company dedicated to helping
people make positivity their default state of mind.
(01:10):
She's also a motivational speaker, best selling author of
three books, and a highly soughtafter therapist.
I wanted to bring Fiona on to talk about the subconscious
mind, but also how she maintainsthat wonderful high vibration
that you'll see in this podcast.I know you're gonna love the
(01:32):
conversation. I planned for the episode to be
30 minutes, but we ran over because there were so many
questions that I wanted to ask her.
But look, let's get into it. Let us know in the comments what
you thought of the episode and if you're enjoying this podcast,
please follow so that you'll getyour updates and be informed
(01:56):
live when the next episode is out.
Hope you enjoy. Hello, So Fiona Brennan, thank
you so much for being my first guest on the High Vibration
Reset. Very exciting.
I know it is. I'm absolutely delighted.
Thank you, Kira. It feels amazing to be the first
(02:18):
guest on a podcast. Thank you.
Thank you, 1000. Brilliant.
Brilliant. We're both delighted and
excited. We are, yeah.
It feels very special. Fiona is a coach, a motivational
speaker, a therapist, hypnotherapist, best selling
author and CEO of The Positive Habit.
(02:43):
And I want to get this right because I loved this.
So your mission is to guide thousands towards making
positivity their default state of mind?
I love it, yes. I need to change that.
I need to say millions. At this stage I was thinking
already done thousands for I. Was going to call you out on
(03:03):
that one. I was, and surely hundreds of
thousands now at this stage. I hope so, Kira.
Yeah, yeah. No.
Brilliant. So this is what you don't know.
I came across you first and inside Timer.
Yeah. Yeah.
Not a very long time ago, so I remember seeing a fellow Irish
(03:25):
person and I thought. Oh.
And I listened to one of your meditations as I must reach out
to that lovely woman. And I never did.
OK. Yeah.
So then you reached out to me after a Claire McKenna interview
that I did. And you sent me a lovely
message. Yeah.
So then you've been in my radar since then?
(03:47):
Oh, lovely. Kira, do you know inside timer
is a great resource, to be honest.
And it's, it's interesting because I've been on it for
years and I, I'm only starting now to actually interact a
little bit more with it because it's like, I think I've, I don't
know how many followers, but it's, it's kind of effortless in
the sense, you know, of growing an audience there because it's a
(04:11):
worldwide platform. And I think it's just wonderful
that it's there. Like, I use it all the time
myself, you know, to, yeah, listen to other people from all
over the world. So it's a fantastic resource,
like it really is. So that's how even 2 Irish women
connect, huh? So it's.
It is a fantastic. Yeah, exactly.
(04:33):
But look what I'd love to know, and it always intrigues me how
you came to do what you do because, you know, when we were
growing up in the Irish school system, it wasn't exactly a
choice, an option. When you went to the career
guidance counsellor, you know, it was, yeah, medicine, law,
business, or maybe a teacher, not a motivational speaker and
(04:54):
hypnotherapist, yeah. Well, I suppose I've never
really followed a very conventional path to be honest,
Kira. The 1st 10 years of my life in
terms of work and career were spent in the world and field of
theatre acting. And yeah, so that was something
(05:16):
that I was incredibly driven by and to, to do.
It was a very strong calling that I had.
And I suppose that, you know, I was also someone who had had a
lot of upheaval, emotional sort of turmoil in my own life.
(05:42):
I'm a very, I'm a very emotionalperson and, and that that is
pretty good in the world of acting because you have to
access a lot of emotions. Of course, always been
fascinated by the human mind and, and why people do things
they do, which again, is very much connected into acting.
(06:04):
You're studying characters, you're trying to understand
them. You're just, you know, you're
exhibiting their emotions and you're, you're getting into
their world. And however, that's the kind of,
you know, not the shiny side of it, but the reality was that I
was struggling a lot. And, you know, my sense of
(06:25):
identity was very much wrapped up into my sense of achievement,
if you like. So most of the time as an actor,
you know, unless you really are one of the few, you're out of
work, you know, so I spent and you're going in and it's, it's
basically, I mean, honestly, it's good training for the field
of rejection because you, you just get them time and time
(06:49):
again. And you know, it's very, you
need such a like, I think that this, there's a whole area of
body work that needs to be done in this field because you're
very vulnerable, especially whenyou're younger.
And so much of it for me was like, Oh, I'm not, you know,
maybe I'm not getting the job because I'm not pretty enough,
or I'm too thin or I'm too fat or I'm blonde and I should be
(07:12):
dark and I should be this. And I should, you know, every
single thing that I could think of why I didn't get the job, but
I know now why I didn't get a lot of jobs.
And that was that I, I simply didn't have the faith or the
confidence in myself. And when someone walks into a
room and they don't have that faith and confidence in
themselves, it's very hard for other people to do so.
(07:34):
So I picked up easily. Yeah.
Yeah. So it was quite a tumultuous,
exciting time as well. Like, I don't want to paint all
this, you know, this negative thing.
It wasn't. It was like I was very.
I've always been very entrepreneurial.
Always, always like from a very early, early age, you know, when
there wasn't work, I, I set up theatre companies with other
(07:57):
actors. I, I made things happen rather
than just sit around. And I think I've always had that
drive, you know, and but what happened was it was 2007 January
and I just decided like right inthe middle of a successful run,
I was actually work play that was going very, very, very well.
(08:19):
Full house was booked out and I was playing this character and
honestly care it like she was. It was just so raw.
And that was put myself through the ringer night after night at
this woman who who had gone through such misfortune,
miscarriage, was being abused byher husband, every kind of
(08:39):
thing. And again, what I didn't know
then is that that the the way the subconscious mind works is
it doesn't know the difference between reality and imagination.
So I'm going through all of this, you know, without any kind
of protective yields or shield for my own nervous system.
And that was just a lack of awareness.
You know, I didn't know why I felt so dreadful.
(09:00):
And but, you know, looking back,it's kind of obvious.
But I had this epiphany on stage, which was I don't want to
do this anymore. And it came to me like a bolt.
Now it just was like an electricshock right there in the middle
of the stage with the audience in front of me.
What a thought to, to, to receive because I have, you
(09:21):
know, you have to keep going. You're on stage.
You can't just walk off. But I felt like walking off.
And of course I didn't. And I, I saw it through and I, I
did, I can proudly say I gave itmy best.
Even with that knowledge inside,I did give it my best.
But I'll be honest as well, I'venever, I haven't looked back
(09:41):
since. And you know, what was driving
me towards the career now that I've had, and it's the last 13
years I've been doing this work and is essentially the
characters that I saw suffer. I, I couldn't bear to, to
continue to watch them suffer. You know, especially in theatre,
(10:02):
it's not Hollywood in terms of happy ending.
It's often very dramatic and youknow, tragedy.
And I wanted to somehow make it better for them, which of course
I couldn't, I wasn't the playwright.
And so this work now there was just a very strong pull towards
helping people alleviate emotional pain and suffering.
(10:27):
And I'm very, very skilled at that.
And because I suppose, first of all, I understand it first hand,
but second of all, I've just built up over the years an
incredible ability to, to, to see patterns within a person and
(10:49):
to recognize how and when to intervene.
You know, it's, it's a very skilled job.
I mean, I don't really identify as a coach as such, to be
honest. I am a therapist, if you like.
And you know, and a lot of my work is, it's quite deep.
And you know, in terms of, I will look at the full picture
(11:10):
of, of what's happening for, formy clients.
And, and it's only through that actually do you get sustainable
shifts. Because when I first started
ages as a clinical hypnotherapist, there is this
kind of misconception, which I've done a lot of work to kind
of breakdown is that, you know, it's a magic wand and you, you
know, you want to lose weight, you go to hypnosis and you'll
(11:33):
lose weight and that'll be that.And you don't have to do
anything. And it's just not the case.
I mean, hypnotherapy is a very, very powerful tool, but it is
just a tool and it does deal with the subconscious mind,
which is why it's so powerful. And, but I think that, you know,
we do need to be, I, I'm a big believer and being ethical.
(11:57):
And I suppose, you know, that that came on pretty early in my
work that I realized if I was really going to, to help people,
I needed to, to take a very sortof unique approach.
And one that I was was sort of cultivating and creating.
(12:20):
So the dark night of the soul itit didn't give you any warning?
No on stage. Yeah, like exactly.
And I suppose with these things though, Kara, like it feels like
it's out of a bolt out of the blue.
But if you're actually, you lookback and you see there were
there, I'm sure there were loadsof warnings to me, but I just
(12:42):
didn't have the awareness. I was completely, uh, oblivious
to, to all of this. I wasn't in touch with my body.
I wasn't in touch with my thoughts.
I wasn't, I wasn't in touch withmyself and.
So. So what happened next?
So you're on stage. You have the epiphany.
This isn't the life that I want.You said that you were a very
(13:02):
emotional person. You were very raw with all these
feelings. So how did you get to, you know,
realize that or do your own healing, I suppose, before you?
Well, I went out and worked on others.
I think motherhood, motherhood. So I had at that point I was
really like, I got married. I suppose today you say I was
(13:23):
quite young, but I was 28 when Igot married and I wanted to have
a baby. Like I was always someone who
wanted to have children. I just absolutely adore them.
But it took me a good few years to get pregnant.
So I was going on that journey as well throughout those, the,
the plays and the auditions and all of that.
And maybe subconsciously something I knew that somewhere
(13:47):
deep down, I really believe we have so much wisdom and
intuition. I kind of knew that if I was
going to continue living that life, which was late nights,
pubs, you know, that whole kind of world, that I wasn't going to
give myself the best chance of, of what I really wanted.
And so that was January 2007. And my my son was born in in
(14:07):
December 2007. Wow.
So like, you know, he's 17 now and I am literally like the sun
shines. As far as I'm concerned.
Luca is the words, the name Lucais light.
And he to me, he just exudes light.
And so when he was, you know, a toddler, I or yeah, when he was
(14:31):
a baby, I stopped working altogether and which was very
hard financially. We didn't have, you know, these
days you need 2 incomes coming in.
Yeah. But I was pretty determined.
Like I'm a very determined person.
And I was determined that I was going to be with him at least as
as much as, you know, for the full, first full year.
I said in 12 months, I'm not doing anything else and I don't
(14:54):
care. And it's the best thing that I
ever did in terms of just that, you know, and I know it's not
accessible to everyone. It's, you know, it was a it was
a luxury in many ways, but I wasjust determined.
And God, we're rewinding a lot here, Kira.
But, but essentially like what happened, I suppose when you
asked me, where did I get now? It was really through being a
(15:17):
mother, and I think I've seen this with my clients, is that
you start to see the patterns ofyour own behavior and you start
to see the impact that they haveon your child or, or, and I
remember there was another raw moment where I just lost it.
I, I lost my, you know, shit. And I yeah.
(15:40):
I hear you. Sister, it was just awful, like
the the guilt and the shame for.For.
Shouting and screaming at my little boy because he couldn't
put his shoes on fast enough forme.
Just lost it. And I remember like I can still
see his face and I just, I just broke down and I knew I needed
help like this wasn't right. But that's sometimes what it
(16:03):
takes, you know, is that you just know in your heart this,
this is just so wrong. Like, I'm a kind, loving person.
What's going on? Absolutely.
But it's so I'm delighted, you know, that you've had the
vulnerability to share that. And it's really important for
young mothers to know that, yeah, it's the most difficult
job in the world. Yes, it's.
Much, You know, we adore our children.
(16:26):
They really drive us, you know, to the edge.
I've had that experience, Fiona.Yeah.
And that has been, I can thank, you know, one of my sons in
particular, you know, who you are, who, you know, brought me
to that moment where I had to change.
Yeah. I realized that this wasn't
working. So they are our teachers.
(16:48):
There are teachers and I and where I lived at the time, I, I
used to walk past and there was this, it said psychotherapy.
I didn't even really know what psychotherapy actually meant.
Was that a psychologist? Was it a you know, what was, I
didn't know the difference between all these psychiatrists.
What does that mean? You know and.
Need to before then. Yeah, but it said low cost
(17:08):
available and like I said, we didn't have a lot of money back
then. And I thought, I remember
thinking, God, maybe I could do that.
But even back then care, like there was a lot of shame and
stigma around it. Like I didn't tell, I didn't
tell care on my husband. I didn't tell my family, I
didn't tell my friends. I didn't tell anybody.
(17:28):
Whereas now you can quite openlysay I'm going to therapy, but I,
I just felt like it was something maybe to be ashamed
over a week. There's something wrong with
you. Yeah, Yeah.
Which we know, of course. Yeah, yeah.
In being able to do it now. Yeah, yeah.
But I went solidly, I'd say for a year and a half, two years.
(17:51):
And within that time, I'd had a miscarriage because we've wanted
another baby and I've gone through huge amount.
And, and basically I, I cried like a lot in those sessions.
And, and that's where the healing started.
And yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, that's,
(18:12):
that's where everything started to shift.
And my therapist was really lovely.
And, and a good therapist will always have your your back.
And I remember her saying to me,Fiona, I have a feeling you're
going to go ahead and do something marvelous.
Oh, wonderful. And I didn't, I was like, what
is she talking about? How, how, what can I do?
I'm just a bag of tears here, you know?
(18:34):
But I think she saw on me My, my, my determination and my
compassion. And, you know, that I suppose
is, is the strengths that that still serve me today.
And, you know, I feel like I am now a walking talking, I
(18:56):
suppose, recreation of of, of what it is to be high vibration.
You're, you know, the name of this podcast.
Yeah, I I know that that I am capable of creating positive
energy even even through great suffering.
(19:17):
You know, I lost my dad not not long ago at all in a very
traumatic way. Yeah, I am.
So life, life as we know, Kara throws challenges at us.
And the work that I have done onmyself all the way rewinding to
that little therapy room, what must be now 15 years ago and to
(19:39):
where I am today. And all of the work I've done
since then in terms of my own training, the books I've
written, everything that I've created is like this huge
beautiful hammock that holds me.And I've managed to, you know,
and, and what I really always want to do was to was to share
(20:00):
that because when you experiencesomething quite profound, you
actually. Want to share that?
And you want to say, look, it isit is possible like a friend of
mine, Brian Penny, I'm sure you know his work, Brian Penny, but
his his tagline is change as possible.
And it's like, yes, yes, it is actually, you know, and he's
very simple. But true, because a lot of
(20:22):
people don't believe it is. They believe they're stuck in
the reality that they. Yeah, that they can see.
Yeah, yeah. I love that a hammock can really
visualize that picture at all this positive stuff to support
you and nurture you. And yeah.
I think it's important to be clear though, it is a training,
it is a practice and it's one that you have to keep.
(20:44):
Absolutely. You know, yeah, it's work.
It's there's a bit of work. Even though work sounds like
it's, you know, I think we have unfortunate negative
connotations with the word work,right?
But I suppose it's like it's devotion or it's a commitment.
It's love. It's.
That's a lot nicer. A lot nicer description.
Yeah. But I know exactly what you mean
(21:05):
here. Like in terms of work.
Yeah, it's it's there is a, there is a conscious effort.
Yeah. Absolutely.
Yeah. So tell me this like a lot of
the the women that I would work with, you know, some of the
words that you hear are stuck. I feel lost.
If you are working with somebodynow or what's your advice?
(21:26):
Let's say even if somebody doesn't feel brave enough to go
and get help or get a therapist or you know, a coach or whatever
it is they need, where would youadvise them to start?
Well, it's a bit like, you know,what I was saying earlier in
(21:47):
terms of that the signals were there.
I was walking past that office and I saw, but it was only me
who could actually walk in that door.
No one else was going to walk inthe door and do it for me.
So, you know, quite often over the years people have contacted
me saying, will you see my wife,my husband, my sister, my
brother, my dog, whatever might be.
(22:08):
And the answer is no, unless they they are in a position to
contact me directly and really want to do this themselves.
So, you know, I think that that realization can only come from
the person. There's nothing that that anyone
(22:29):
else can actually do. I mean, the positives are that
we live in a world that is much more open to this.
And you know, we see it everywhere now and it's not that
long ago what we're talking about, you know, in terms of,
you know, even 1015 years, it's not that long, but but things
(22:49):
have shifted so significantly. And so I do think we're in a
better place than we were. I think the workplace still has
a yards and thousands of miles to go before it becomes truly
sort of safe for people to, to speak about their emotional and,
and mental well-being because, you know, they're still stigmas
(23:13):
there and people still hold back, which I can understand,
you know? And a lot of organizations have
these initiatives, but most of the employees don't really
believe that, you know they're genuine or that they can.
Yeah, Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
So in terms of so I binge your content over the weekend and
(23:34):
thank you for giving me a lovelypositive weekend.
A lot of good stuff there. Fiona.
So one of your books is the selflove habit.
So in terms of let's say, if somebody's starting out looking
at your content, you know, wouldyou be advising them to look at?
Yeah, beautiful. Really, really good content.
(23:58):
You know, is that the first place to start for somebody who
wants to change, Who's ready to change?
Or would you be looking at your other book, A Positive Habit?
You know you. Know what it's like here?
It's like children. You know what it's like someone,
(24:18):
someone says, oh, I'm talking about myself, I'll show you a
picture. It's a bit like that.
You can't help yourself because they are babies, too.
Yeah. Very lucky my books have got
some of my books I say now don'tread that one no this one yes
yeah yeah one is the one to readso you're lucky that you still
feel proud of of all your books I.
Do I do? Yeah, definitely.
(24:40):
And I, I think it, if you were new to my work and you're new
to, to, to this whole world, if you like, of, let's say positive
habits, neuroplastic training, meditation, you know,
affirmations, all, of all of thework, I would say start with the
positive habit. To be honest.
It's, it is, it's still my best selling book, to be honest, out
(25:00):
of all all three of them. But it's, it is the one that I
think has had the most impact on, on, on people all over the
world. I had someone from Australia
contact me who, who read it and wants to, you know, was booking
in to see me. So there's a whole, it's really
reached far and wide, which I I'm very happy about.
(25:21):
And so positivity sometimes getsa bad name, you know?
Yeah. We hear about the toxic
positivity, so does your definition of positivity, is it
still the same as it was when you wrote that book, or has it
shifted any or what? What does it mean or what are
you trying to encourage people to do?
I think it's, if anything, I'd say that this work is even more
(25:45):
relevant and I, no, it hasn't shifted at all since I wrote the
book. I think that it, it's, you know,
clear, like even just from what I've been saying already, like
the most positive thing we can do is feel our emotions, right?
So feeling is healing. Toxic positivity is, it's kind
(26:06):
of like to be honest, it's just not really even it's, it's, it's
sort of looking at it something with such a narrow lens, right?
But essentially, I really do believe that we all have an
innate capacity for happiness and regardless of, of of of what
(26:27):
what situations are are are happening to us.
And simply by, by, we need to train our mind to, to have that
positive offsets. Because the way that the brain
works, it is a strong threat detection system.
It is programmed to look towardsthe negative in terms of the
(26:48):
negativity bias to keep us alive.
It's an out of date model. And that can 'cause so much
suffering. So what, we have to take sort of
some control of this, otherwise we're at the mercy of this, you
know, brain that produces thoughts that we believe.
(27:08):
And yeah, yeah. And I love the Marcus Aurelius
quote, You know, he said, umm, the happiness of your life, eh,
depends on the quality of your thoughts.
So, you know, this book is really like, I'm really proud of
it because it's so practical andit's so kind of getting into the
(27:28):
knob of that, that that thinkingis a habit.
And essentially it's about creating six different positive
emotional states. And it's very empowering to know
that we can do that and that we have the capacity to to create
these emotional states. And it's, it's incredibly
inspiring and hopeful. And, you know, I think that that
(27:52):
message, you know, needs to be repeated and heard again and
again and again and across the world, really.
Absolutely. And that's, you know, with a lot
of the work that I do, it's thathelping people to realize that
they can control their thoughts,that their thoughts aren't just
there, that they, you know, theyare the master of what's going
(28:16):
on up there. Now again, it takes some
practice, but so that is one of the one of the reasons I was
attracted to you was the word habit, because as you may know,
that is something that I work a lot with with the habit piece.
And my last book, Rise Before Your Bull and Other Habits of
(28:39):
Successful People took me 10 years to write.
Why I wrote was because I Washington, I was just could not
understand why I couldn't createhabits.
So I went on this long search to, you know, start to
understand habits, to research habits.
(28:59):
And, and it took me that long towrite because that's how long it
took me to create the habit of rising early, which was the
habit I wanted to create becauseI knew at that stage of my life,
because my kids were small, I wanted to create that space for
myself in the morning to, you know, meditate to do all the
things we want to do. So, you know, that was why it
(29:21):
was so intriguing for me. And by this stage, 10 years
later and after writing a book, I do know how to create habits.
But, yeah, well done for you. Obviously, it was quite a big
thing for you, habit where you understood that real change
happens through habit, through our daily actions.
(29:42):
Yeah. And I suppose what I'm always
the caveat with that is that I think we we can't stay at the
surface level of just, you know,even this morning I had a client
who said she wants exactly, it'slike bizarre.
She wants to get up in the morning and she's struggling
with it and she's giving herselfa hard time over it.
Why can't she just do it? So I'm always interested, but
what's the block there? Like there's no point just being
(30:05):
hard on yourself. You know that you can't somehow
do this. We need to understand.
Keep pushing. Pushing doesn't work.
It's a much deeper issue. Like it seems like it's just
surface. It seems like, you know, it's
very logical. Anyone can tell you, you know,
this is what you need to do. You know, it's, it's, it's not
rocket science. Like it's back to what our
(30:25):
mothers would have said, you know, eat well, get up, you
know, he's early to bed. And all those things, those,
those, those cliches are all still the same.
So it's not lack of education orknowledge, but it's, it's
understanding what's holding youback.
Why, why don't you value yourself enough to create that
positive habit, Right. And quite often it comes down
(30:46):
to, you know, sort of holding back because you don't value
yourself that you're putting other people first all the time.
And that may seem like a selfless thing to do, but it
isn't. It's actually selfish.
And quite often when you start to unpack it, you can see that
this is actually, you know, it's, it's a place for you to
(31:06):
hide behind perhaps. And it's also, you know, sort of
people can get stuck in martyrdom, you know, or
victimhood or all of these very unhealthy patterns.
So I think that it has to work like we always have to work on
those two levels, The, the, the,the conscious desire, if you
like, and then the subconscious,what's going on there and what's
(31:29):
holding, holding back these blocks in the subconscious mind?
And, you know, often they go right back into our early, early
years, you know, and that's, that's the work that I would
have done back in that therapy room.
You know, that was exploring andunderstanding my own childhood
from a position that I'd never done before.
(31:50):
You know, and most people don't do that or you know more now,
but but you know, it's somethingthat we all we all need to do
really on some level. And, and it's the best gift you
give to to yourself and, and to everybody you love really, you
know. And it is interesting because I
know when I started going deeperinto this work, it was initially
(32:11):
I was kind of, I don't need emotional healing.
I had a normal life, a normal upbringing, but by God did I got
a smack in the face, you know? So we all have some level of
emotional healing to do. Yes, exactly.
Yeah. And you know, it's it's that it,
it's so understandable to be protective around it.
(32:32):
You know, it's like, I don't want to.
It's almost a fear you can see in people and it's so
understandable. If I open that, what's going to
happen? Is it going to just, is it going
to be so overwhelming? I won't be able to, to, to cope.
So, you know, it's always about reassuring people to, to work
with them in a gentle, very manageable way, slowly and with
(32:55):
a lot of awareness, a lot of heart, you know, I, I really
believe in moving from the busy brain and into the heart.
And because I feel that when we live from the heart, it's a very
different energy, very differentexperience.
And, and we are, you know, we'reliving through love rather than
than living through fear like this is if we're up here in the
(33:18):
brain with those fear induced herbs, the world is a
frightening place. But if we, if we can, which we
can train ourselves to drop intothe heart, then we move into a
whole different vibration. Like literally as we, as you
probably know, the heart has a high frequency radius.
(33:38):
I think it's 3 feet around us and the heart radiates.
Yeah, I'm a heart math coach as well, so yeah.
There you go. Yes, exactly.
That's the yeah, the training. And all of that, Yeah.
But just to track back there just slightly in terms of that
fear of unleashing what might bethere, You know, I think it's
(34:00):
important to to say also for a lot of women, for a lot of
mothers, we don't feel like we have the space to do that.
I remember years ago being at a cranial sacral therapist and him
saying to me, I feel like you're.
Just you're just. Holding it all together.
And I remember nearly being angry saying, of course, I'm
(34:21):
effing well holding it all together.
You know, how else do I keep my kids fed and, you know, make
money and all of this? So, but we have to find a little
bit of space for ourselves to start the journey.
And if you can find, I think, you know, a caring and good
therapist, they will manage thatopening up so that, you know, it
(34:45):
doesn't have to be all unleashedat once.
Would not be, you know, fair to say yes.
Yeah, just, you know, and they're.
Interesting. Do it gradually.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
That has to be very, it's very skilled work and it has to be
done gradually. You know, it's, it's, it's so
much better to make small tiny progress rather than trying to,
(35:06):
you know, the, the quick fix thing is, is, is always, um, to
be avoided. Absolutely.
Yeah. So, Fiona, I'd love to keep you
here all day, but I'm not letting you go just yet.
No problem, I'm fine. So many more.
Questions I'd love to ask you, but I have a few that I really
think might help other people interms of your own habits.
(35:28):
So, you know, there are so many things we could be doing, should
be doing, you know, would like to be doing.
What are your personal habits that keep you in a high
vibrational state, that keep youin that lovely positive vibe
that you share around? Yeah, Well, I suppose it's like
(35:49):
everything is in context, right?I think that's so important
because, you know, someone listening to this could have two
young children and a parent in hospital and, you know, they're
going well. It's all very well for a miss
there who you know. And so our lives change at
different stages and we've got to do our best within the the
(36:11):
context of what we have, you know.
And so for example, you know, I had a period there, obviously
that was very, very difficult. My father in hospital and all of
my you know, I do practice very much what I preach.
So, you know, I have, I have like you.
It's almost, Yeah, but it's almost like a little bit,
probably nauseating, like, because I, you know, my son is
(36:34):
17. I've got a lot more time now.
I work for myself, you know, I've got a, I've got a lot of
these things in my favour, right?
That, that in fairness, I have created, but still make it
easier for me. But during that period, you
know, I, I, I, I literally held on as tight as I could to
whatever I could, right, right. So I remember doing, for
(36:59):
example, the park run on The Saturdays because I found, I
found it really hard. I'm not like a marathon run
around, right? So I, I found that a real
endurance thing. So as I was going through it, I
felt like this is actually I'm, I'm kind of mentally and
emotionally going through the it's like the physical
(37:19):
comparison of what I'm having togo through with, with with dad
at the moment. Or I do a really hot yoga class
back. You know, that was actually
hard. I was kind of putting myself
into it sounds like counterproductive, but somehow
it that helped me get through. But in my life now where I I'm
back into it and much more, I suppose, what's the word?
(37:42):
Privileged routine, if you like.You know, I do have a very
strong morning practice that really the, you know, in the
light months of the year consists of getting up and
getting out. Right.
That's it's so powerful, it's sosimple, but I literally get up,
I throw on an old tracksuit, whatever I can and I get outside
(38:05):
and I go for a run and I say runlike it's not again.
So I'm not pushing myself here, right?
I'm kind. Of down the road.
I'm kind of like, yeah, we're kind of rolling down the road a
bit and I'll get as much sunlight into my eyes as I can.
My third book is on sleep. So, you know, I know a lot about
sleep and I want to sleep well and I do sleep unbelievably
(38:27):
well. And so I'm getting that light in
and then I will set my intentionfor for the day.
And actually I've been using inside timer for that reason
because they have a little witches on there.
Yeah, it's really good because you can see it on your phone
then, right. So it's like there.
OK, well, I read you today just for a laugh and absolutely.
(38:48):
Please. OK, hang on now.
Where's it going? Oh yeah, this was in in honor of
your good self-care. So my intention is to keep my
vibration high, help my clients,and be open to dreaming big.
Beautiful. Right.
So I said that this morning and I do that every single day.
So you have it on your phone andthen it just kind of keeps you.
(39:12):
Yeah, it's a little reminder. And I also send it to my son as
a way of, you know, just kind of.
A little. Checking in with him and saying,
look, here you go Pat, I don't know if you even read some, but
I send them to him anyway. And, and I think that's the
thing with with vibration and positive energy is, is always
share it share it and share it and share it when you have it,
(39:34):
share it because it is contagious.
And so, yeah, my morning routinewould be, I suppose that the one
solid thing that I have, you know, that I that I hold on to
and it does set the tone like itis the most important time in
terms of offsetting that your vibration for the day.
(39:55):
Absolutely. Yeah.
So if you like, I know you, you went through a bad period, but
let's say there you have a bad day or two, maybe you're sick or
something. What's the one thing that gets
you back on track? Do you have any kind of?
Self rescue plan or? I would say questioning my
(40:18):
thoughts, like if I see if I know I'm going down, if I can
feel that that you know, I'm I'mgoing into a place that isn't
very I'll I'll stop and I'll pause and I'll actually write
down what am I telling myself here?
And, you know, has so helpful because when you see what you're
saying to yourself, you go, no wonder I'm feeling, yeah, this
(40:42):
is a really strong negative stuff that I'm hurling at
myself. So I would question my thoughts
and, you know, clear them out sothat they're not weighing me
down. And but like I said, that comes
from a place of, of a lot of, ofresource and practice and, and
yeah, like it's that it's, it's that body of work that is, is
(41:08):
there. I think it's like, it's like
money in the bank. You have it so you can, you can
access it. So, you know, I, you know, it's
hard to it because I've been, asI say, haven't gone through
through grief. So it's a different period.
But you know, generally speakingon before, before my dad died, I
that I don't have many bad days.And I don't mean that as a, you
(41:29):
know, but I really don't be because I kind of intervened
quicker. You know, I might have bad
moments, I might have bad hours,but I don't have prolonged
periods of time that I would feel anxious or, or, or.
That's something I always describe to to my clients.
It's like when you start off andyou start to get that awareness,
(41:50):
yes, that you can change. It might take you a couple of
days to reset, maybe a couple ofweeks.
Yeah, beginning. But the more work that you do,
the more you repeat these beautiful habits like setting
intentions, meditation. And when we look after ourself
this way, that reset becomes quicker and quicker, doesn't it?
(42:11):
But it really does, and it's. Still human, you get the
negative thoughts. Yes, Yeah, yeah.
Feel. Crappy some days, yeah.
But also, you know, I think it'simportant to remember, like, you
and I are at this a long time. I'm 18 years now in this field
as well. So, you know, we've had the
(42:32):
opportunity to try out a lot of things, to make mistakes to, you
know, try new habits and see if that fits better.
So it's really important for people to remember that, you
know, we just have to keep trying something.
Some people will say, I tried. Meditation doesn't work for me
now, I don't believe that being a meditation teacher, but it is,
(42:54):
you know, it is that thing. There's some type of meditation,
there's some kind of practice that's going to, to work for
you. And starting small, like you
said, is, is really important. You know, just try one small
thing and keep at it to, you know, because we can all change.
(43:16):
Yeah, it, it is a, a, a big journey for some people, shorter
for others. But the potential is there for
to have a beautiful life like you've created.
You know where where you can stay in that positive energy and
high vibration. Yeah, exactly.
And, and just, I think, you know, our, our, our greatest
(43:39):
expert is ourselves. You know, that, that the wisdom
that we seek and the happiness we seek, it's, it's within us.
And you know, our work, I suppose Kara is, is just helping
people to, to, to let that emerge.
It's already there. You know, it's just a case of
really providing the, the, the environment, predominantly the
(44:00):
environment that that allows that to, to come forth.
And then that becomes the habitual state through through
practice and, and through training.
But essentially we're talking about, you know, you can put the
word positive, happy, you know, but what we're really talking
about is, is love, essentially, you know, and when we go through
(44:25):
difficult, you know, traumatic experiences, it boils down to to
a simple thing that, that in theend, literally in the end, there
is nothing left but love. There's nothing left, none of it
out, nothing else matters. And that perspective, you know,
when you can get that perspective into your life every
(44:46):
day, it just transforms how you live, the relationships you
have, what you once would have got stressed about.
It's just not important. It's just not, it's just not
relevant. It's like.
There's the mic drop. Yeah, not nothing else but love.
That's a beautiful place to maybe wrap up because I don't
(45:07):
want to ramble on anymore after that beautiful thought that
you're leaving us with. But Fiona, you have some
retreats coming up, I do. Going to tell us about them.
Sure. Yeah, Thank you, Kira.
Yeah. So I have a one day event, the
Art of Living that is happening on Sunday, May 18th in
Blessington, the Avon. It's a lovely, I don't know if
(45:29):
you've ever been here, but it's a gorgeous venue, beautiful.
It overlooks the Blessington Lakes and it's just very, very
stoning place. And that's happening.
And then also I'm bringing a group or a group is coming out
to me in crease in June for a 7 day.
Very immersive and experience that this is the the 4th one
(45:51):
we've run and light up retreats myself and my husband Karen who
who now works at me full time and has done for the last 94
years which is amazing. You're positive and happy.
We often we joke and we say if we didn't, if this wasn't the
work that we were doing, we probably have killed each other.
(46:15):
We have a lot to learn from you.Seriously, it's, it's, it's not
for the faint targeted, but we, we do, we do with them and we do
our, you know, we were very happy.
Yeah. And so those are the 2 events
and you can find out about them on my website, the Positive
habit or my Instagram, which is the positive habit.
And all the information on your books and courses and retreats
(46:40):
are on your your website. And we'll put all that in the in
the show notes after. Thank you, Kieran.
So I am so grateful that you agreed to come on the podcast
and share your wisdom. We might have to have you back
again because we left a lot unsaid.
I'm sure we can learn a lot morefrom you.
(47:01):
So thank you, Kira, you've definitely, you've definitely
risen my vibration or you're helping me with my intention
today because you, you exude lovely energy as well.
So thank you so much. Thank you.
Have a wonderful day, SO. I hope you enjoyed that
conversation, I certainly did, and I hope you got some really
(47:21):
good ideas for how to allow yourself to stay in high
vibration more frequently. Remember, this podcast is
accompanied by a quiz, the High Vibration Reset Quiz, and that
quiz will show you the energeticblock most likely keeping you
stuck right now. So don't forget to take the quiz
(47:43):
and after taking it, you will beguided to the podcast episode
that has been recorded specifically for your success
block archetype. You'll also receive a free
meditation which will help you to remove that specific block
(48:07):
now. What I really hope.
That you got from this episode is that you are never too stuck
or too lost or even too messed up to reset.
Seek out a therapist or a coach to help you to get unstuck.
There are fabulous, kind and loving therapists like Fiona are
(48:29):
conscious, supportive coaches tohelp you on your path to feeling
whole again. If you want to find out more
about Fiona, her website is the positivehabit.com and you'll
find all the details of her books which I highly recommend,
her upcoming retreats and how towork with her in general.
(48:53):
The links are below in the show notes, and if you want to find
out more about working with me, you can find details on my
website of all of my coaching programs, information on the
Lifelow community, or the Lifelow Planner, which is
created to help you stay organized and on track with your
(49:15):
goals. So thank you for joining us and
make sure you're following the podcast so that you don't miss
the next episode. Have a beautiful inner day.
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