Aisling Kennedy is a certified Self-Belief Coach and EFT practitioner who helps women break free from people-pleasing, overthinking and self-doubt. In this powerful and heart-opening conversation, Aisling shares her personal story of staying silent in toxic environments and how she found her voice again.
We dive into the power of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), the impact of nervous system regulation on confidence and clarity, and why self-leadership begins with emotional safety. Aisling offers practical insights for women who want to step into their truth, trust themselves deeply, and raise their energetic vibration.
This episode is especially for you if you've ever felt stuck in self-doubt, found yourself over-giving, or struggled to show up as your most authentic self. Aisling’s work is a beautiful reminder that you already have everything within you, you just need the tools to unlock it.
✨ Try Aisling’s free EFT tapping sequence for Morning Confidence: https://programmes.aislingkennedycoaching.com/offers/uYufS8Gq/checkout
Find out more about Aisling on her website: https://www.aislingkennedycoaching.com
Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachaislingkennedy/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to The High Vibration Reset, the podcast for women
ready to step into their next level of success without
burnout, overthinking, or ever feeling undervalued.
I'm your host, Kira Conlon, and I've spent the past 18 years
helping ambitious women to shifttheir mindset, elevate their
(00:23):
energy and lead with more confidence.
So welcome to the second episodeof Season 2 of the podcast.
And today's guest is self beliefcoach Ashlyn Kennedy.
Now Ashlyn works with women to help them break free from people
pleasing, overthinking and self doubt.
(00:45):
So I'm sure there's a few of youout there that are going to
benefit from this conversation. Ashley shares her journey from
being a quiet child to becoming a confident coach and speaker.
Now she's also a an EFT practitioner and she uses this
with her clients to help them release emotions like guilt,
(01:08):
shame, fear, or anything else that's blocking their happiness
and success. I invited Ashling along because
her work and her presence also embodies high vibrational
leadership for me. She has some great tips for
(01:29):
stopping people pleasing for overcoming limiting beliefs, and
lots more. So let's get into it.
But please let us know in the comments what you thought of
this episode. And if you're enjoying the
podcast, please follow to be updated and enjoy the
(01:49):
conversation. And delighted to have Ashlyn
Kennedy with me here today. And Ashlyn is a certified self
belief coach. I love that Ashlyn and EFT
practitioner. So I'm not going to introduce
you anymore now Ashling, umm, you.
(02:11):
I saw you originally at an imageevent where you came and you
spoke to the women about EFT, emotional freedom technique or
tapping as some people know it as, and it was an amazing talk.
I think you probably made a big difference in a lot of people's
(02:32):
lives that day. So yeah, I wanted to invite you
on to tell us a bit more. So delighted to have you here.
Thanks. So much Karen, I'm so excited
and I'm really glad that you took something from that
workshop because it's one of those environments where you
don't know what's going to happen.
You don't know if people are going to be skeptical.
You don't know what people are coming forward.
(02:53):
That workshop in particular because it was a Co working day.
So I don't know who's going to be there.
And I was so grateful to have met you because I remember
looking out, everyone watching and I just remember you smiling
at me. She's enjoying this.
I love the introduction and thank you so much for having me
here because I love I've listened to the first first
episode with Fiona last week andI've listened to the other ones
(03:16):
as well. So I love the concept of the
high vibration. I'm always talking about life on
easy mode. So I was like, oh, manifested,
this is it's a lovely podcast toto be part of.
So thank you so much. Absolutely.
I think it was a good fit for for both of us.
So one of the things you spoke about that day was kind of where
you came from, Ashling. So, you know, you now teach
(03:39):
women how to have more stronger self belief or confidence, but
that's not where you came from. Tell us a bit more about how you
became a life coach and how thisall transpired.
Yeah. So I was one of those kids who
basically didn't talk much, likeat all.
I could talk, obviously I could talk, but I just chose not to.
(04:03):
I feel like it's coming back to I was kind of ridiculed or like
I had AI still do have a quite high pitched voice.
And that that used to always be in my head that I had this like
baby voice and I have memories of like asking for help or
asking people for something or very support or being myself or
(04:25):
trying to copy something that I see on TV.
And then I'd like that feels funny.
That feels funny. So I just muted.
I just stayed really quiet. So that carried with me for my
whole life and it led me into the toxic work relation, toxic
work environments, toxic romantic relationships, toxic
(04:45):
friendships because it wasn't I was attracting them, It's that
we put up with them, right? Because toxic will go to anyone.
They'll take anyone's energy that they can.
But unless you have the self worth to put up the blocks in
the but I don't need this. I deserve more.
But I didn't know how to do thatbecause I was just people
pleasing my whole life. I didn't know any any
(05:06):
difference. Because people pleasing is a
learned coping mechanism that wewe do to survive.
And it's something that helps uswhen we're children to survive
in the moment. But then when we carry it into
our adults life, we go what's happening?
And I lost my sense of self. So I am one of those people who
did every quiz under the sun to figure out what I want them to
(05:28):
do after my leaving search. And it was leading me towards
like HR, social work, that sort of stuff.
So it's kind of in the right direction, helping people some
way, shape or form, but not knowing what it was.
It was always like, ask everyoneelse what should I do?
What do you think I should do, what you think I would do?
If you were me, what would you do?
But I was never listening to myself because I didn't know
(05:51):
what my voice was. I was always trying to people
play is trying to get into what I thought it was supposed to be
like, you know, all of my friends were going to college.
It was like you have to go to college.
So back to college. And then it was OK after I get a
job. So got a job.
And then it wasn't then until I realized that I was at a point
where I was in HR, so London HR,then I'd had I think A7 or 8
(06:19):
different promotions within seven years.
And I was constantly going up and up and up.
And I was like, didn't feel likeI was happy or achieving, like I
was doing my job really well, but I was like, there's
something really missing. And it wasn't until an
unfortunate event. So when I knew, took their own
life. And that was where I started to
(06:39):
go, whoa, whoa, what's happeninghere?
Like I need to look into my mental health.
I need to look into putting myself first, what I need
because I thought that they had everything anyone could ever
wanted. And I said, well, what happened?
What happened there? So I said, well, what do I want?
What what do I want from me? So when I started looking into
(07:00):
that and started reading a lot of books, started listening to
podcasts, I started realizing that the values that I had just
did not align with the company Iwas in.
Very good. That was completely out of sort.
So I went to a life coach. I manifested my redundancy, got
my redundancy within 10 days of manifesting it.
Wow, when I, I remember the specific question that the life
(07:24):
coach asked me was what did you enjoy about a door?
And I started answering and I was like, Oh, I love doing 1 to
ones. I loved empowering my team and
getting them to go for promotion, blah, blah, blah.
And then she's like, no, no, no,what did you enjoy?
But hey, door. And I was like, ah, nothing.
I just heard a whole new thing. And I was like, I've just been
(07:44):
doing this for so long because Ithought I had to and I was just,
you know, following the timeline.
And it's the timeline that is there step by society and that
are all of our friends family ask because it's natural to ask,
you know, when you're going to buy a house, when you're going
to have kids. And I was like, hang on, do I
want to do these things? Do I want?
(08:04):
So that's where I completely shifted the whole HR And I was
like, well, it's not HR, but it's something about helping
people. And I realized that I had
completely lost my voice in thatcompany.
And while I was still there, I was starting to use it, was
trying to find it and it was being smothered.
And I was like, well, why is whyis this happening?
And that all LED then I was starting to go into my flow,
(08:27):
into my high vibration. And then that's why I manifested
redundancy within 10 days. And then I did go on this
confusing. I don't know what I'm supposed
to be doing for six months. It took me 6 months to figure
out what I'm supposed to doing. And once I figured it out,
everything both started falling into place.
So that's how the lifeguarding came about.
Amazing. So you just kind of when you
(08:47):
found the right thing slow started to naturally occur
amazing. So there's a lot of a lot of
things I want to ask you about in there, a lot of interesting
stuff. But can we go back to just what
you said about that people pleasing.
So it sounds like the pattern there that you stepped into was
(09:08):
kind of self created. Whereas I think with some people
with people pleasing, it may be because of the lives that they
led or the people that were in their lives that forced them
into this pattern, but you kind of self created it.
Would it be right in in saying that?
Yeah, kind of comes from a few different things.
My mom's people, please. So I naturally adopted how she
(09:31):
is because we we adapt and we'vecopy what other people do.
I have an older brother who lovethem Tibet.
He was, you know, as a child he was really blonde, really
smiley, really outgoing. And I wasn't that.
So I was like, Oh well, what do I do to get that reward?
Which was good girl, good girl, you're so quiet and you're so
(09:52):
pretty and all these little things.
So the people pleasing came fromfeeling safe.
And what for me to feel safe wasto be quiet and to do what
people wanted me to do. So it can come from a mixture of
things that could be from, you know, your parents may be
leaning on you to emotion regulate themselves and you feel
(10:13):
like you have to do that. It could be that you've learned
that if you are good or kind or do a certain thing for someone
else, then they're happy. It's about controlling someone
else's emotions. But we can't control someone
else's emotions. We can only control ourselves.
But as a child, you don't know this.
You don't have the emotional know this.
And until you do the work on yourself as an adult, you're
(10:37):
going to stay in those patterns.And it is also, I suppose,
societal, not pressure, but whatgenerational with with women,
it's this. We're expected to get into that
role of making sure everybody else is happy.
We're nurturers, we want everybody, we want peace, we
want everything to feel calm andin control.
(11:01):
So I suppose that pressure is oneveryone.
I mean in your work, do you see people pleasing as a big issue?
Yeah, most people come to with people pleasing, OK, majority of
them do. Some of them like, I don't
really do that. But then we get into it and
they're like, oh, that's what people pleasing is.
(11:22):
Because I didn't actually know what people want.
People pleasing was until a few years ago, I'd never heard the
word. And then someone described it to
me and I was like, Oh, yeah, yeah, I do that because
sometimes we think it's literally just not like saying
yes to everything. Being the person who goes and
collects you from the airport at2:00 in the morning, even though
(11:43):
you've got a big presentation tomorrow at 9:00 AM.
It's, it's not always that. It's not speaking up for
yourself because you're afraid of what the other person will
say. It's not putting yourself first.
It's losing your voice completely.
And you don't know what you wantanymore.
So you just go along with what everyone else wants to do.
And when you've lost your sense of self, like usually what
(12:04):
happens with my clients is when they come to me, I say, what do
you want? And they're like, I want to stop
overthinking. OK, well, what do you want?
They don't. They can't imagine near their
life other than overthinking, procrastinating, worrying about
what everyone else is thinking. They, they, they like that
doesn't exist. It does.
(12:24):
It does, but you've been so lostin it for so long less you think
it doesn't. Yeah, yeah.
So do you always use emotional freedom technique to help people
out of that people pleasing or is it a combination of
strategies? Yeah, yeah.
(12:46):
Because The thing is so EFT, so emotional freedom technique is
based on actually. There's a good thing.
Yeah. Let's tell people, anyone who
doesn't know what it is, give usa bit more info there, Ashling.
Thank you. So EFT tapping is emotional
freedom technique and tapping isthe IT describes what you do.
So it's the light, gentle tapping on Meridian lines.
(13:08):
So it's based on traditional Chinese medicine and it's
similar to similar in some like it's a psychological form of
acupunct acupuncture because youknow the little needles which
are placed into the Meridian points.
However, with EFT tapping, you're not actually using any
needles, you're just using your hands ever so slightly on these
(13:29):
points. So it's based on this concept of
chi. So chi is the life force energy
and how we have all of our emotions and our energy in our
bodies. So traditional Chinese medicine
that say that all of our energy and all of our dis ease and any
discomfort is where something a part of a Meridian line is not
(13:50):
flowing correctly so that acupuncture will, you know, tap
into it and allow it to release it, to allow it to flow.
So EFT tapping, emotional freedom technique is where
you're releasing those emotions so that you're freeing them and
you're allowing that block to resolve because a lot of people
like my, my coping mechanism as well with people pleasing as
(14:12):
avoidance will avoid things. So with, with tapping, you're
physically tapping on points of your body, you're verbally
speaking out what the issue is and you're changing what the
issue is. So say for example, someone's
coming with shame or guilt or frustration, we talk about it,
we go, OK, I'm feeling guilt. And then you talk it through so
(14:33):
you're not ignoring it. So actually verbalizing your
voice and saying it goes, OK, this, this is what's happening.
I can't ignore it. And it sparks up that neural
pathway within you to go, OK, this is the neural pathway I
have associated with this issue.We can talk through where it
came from. And then we release and clear
(14:53):
the block and replace it with and create a new neural pathway
so that when you're thinking about say the presentation or
say it's saying no for the firsttime to someone, it's going OK.
Well, the last time I'm, I'm worried about this thing that
happened when I was four years old or six years old.
You don't even fully your subconscious remember this.
And I remember the feeling. Now.
(15:15):
It's associating something new and going well.
What if I what if it went reallywell?
What if it went brilliant? What if I was able to speak
really clearly and replacing it with something else?
So when you finish your you haveto tapping like we do.
A few rounds of it can be two minutes long, it'd be 20 minutes
long, but you start to feel a sense of relief, of relief, uh,
(15:37):
confidence and cortisol drops, umm, happiness increases.
It's amazing. Absolutely.
And I have tried it in the past and I have used it and
definitely, yeah, I it's one of those things as well that I
suppose it's a technique that works.
I've seen transformation in other people.
(15:58):
It's so a lot of the work that Ido is about what you've just
described. So it's the, the mindset piece
alongside the release of the emotion.
And that's really where we get lasting change, isn't it?
So, you know, we can release theemotion or we can talk about
emotion and let go of fear of guilt.
(16:22):
And this is something that I think, Ashley, you know, and why
I wanted to get you on is for people to really understand that
we can do this, that this is possible.
A lot of people don't understandthat that the emotion in our
bodies is we can move through it.
But then what you're saying there about the neural pathway,
(16:44):
we need to interrupt that neuralpathway and then reprogram.
So within a short tapping session, we can do the whole
process. Yeah.
And tell me. So like something like guilt.
OK. So guilt is a big emotion.
(17:04):
And and again, we, you know, it's generational.
It's a lot of women, they spend their lives feeling guilty.
So can one session clear guilt, or is it a series of sessions
that are needed in order to breakthrough all of the
patterns? It depends.
(17:24):
It depends on the person becauseI sometimes have people come to
me and they have a particular issue with they're just really
struggling with. Yes, it can help support that.
So in a study that was done in 2012 of people who had done a
one hour coaching set or one hour tapping session, 24%, they
felt there was a drop of cortisol by 24% compared to
(17:48):
psychotherapy, which is 14%. And then the control group,
there was no significant change at all.
So 24% is a huge percent drop that cortisol, which is
obviously related to anxiety andregulating your nervous system
and helping you feel more confident in that area.
So it there's definite changes and shifts.
I noticed that I can, I can see people like the sighing or just
(18:10):
the relaxing of the shoulders and taking the breath and they
say to me at the end, I could physically feeling, feel that
emotion leave my body. So yes, people will feel a lot
different during and then after the tapping.
But it like when my clients cometo me, sometimes people think
it's like a quick fix, but you don't just go to the gym and
(18:32):
then all of a sudden you have a six pack.
It's like we need to continuously work on our
mindset. So majority of the time it's
working with clients for a few weeks to work on not just that
one issue because people pleasing is deeper rooted.
It's coming from a sense of not feeling worthy.
So, so I use you asked me beforewhen I, before I went off my
(18:53):
tangent about what EFT tapping is, is do I use a mixture of EFT
tools? So I use a mixture because
sometimes, like for example, yesterday I was with a client
and we we had planned on doing afull expansion tapping to really
step into higher self, to reallyexpand what she was feeling and
allow more abundance into her life.
(19:14):
But as soon as he got in the call, she, I could just say she
was exhausted, she was really burned out.
And I was like, we need to fix this.
We could have done tapping. We actually did something
completely different. And that's the fun of coaching,
you know that yeah, what's goingto happen and then it's
something completely different. So I said to her, like next time
we'll do it that, but we need tofix where this exhaustion and
(19:36):
bring outs come from. That's what we're doing right
now. And then we can step into your
higher self. Perfect, perfect.
But yes, so yeah, it can be a series.
And as you say, it's, it's, it always depends on the person, on
the situations, what they're dealing with.
But you can get massive transformation in one session,
Yeah. And I have a tap in library
which all my clients have accessto, so there's they're generic
(19:58):
ones obviously. Specific to each client because
it's for everyone, but they havelike a morning tapping, a sleep
tapping, A rebound from a bad day speaking up.
There's lots of different toppings in which are generic
that all my clients because I know they're all generally
around the same thing that they can use.
I use them a lot. I use, I'm hear my own voice and
(20:20):
I'm like tap, tap, tap. And that's there to support them
when they're not in a coaching session with me.
And they feel the relief from that.
We have like a new new year topic, a new month tapping.
And they use them at different points and sometimes they're
like, Oh yeah, I forgot this one's there because they, they
use their own recording sometimes and then they go back
to the tapping library. So they can, this is a tool that
(20:42):
they can use themselves in between the grouping sessions.
They have it after they've finished coaching with me.
And also they can tap like you can't easily just tap yourself
without without a coach without doing it before.
Obviously if you've never done before, you need to watch a
video or something, but you can do it.
Once you have that that knowledge, you can do it
yourself at any point, anywhere.Brilliant.
(21:03):
Brilliant. So it's just like a meditation
library, just picking out whatever my intuition thinks I
need right now. Yeah.
And Speaking of intuition, so doyou think that this has helped
you so that the bringing EFT into your life, do you think
(21:24):
that's helped you become a more intuitive person?
Has it impacted that side of you?
Yeah, I, I noticed it during thecoaching sessions.
So I'll discussing what's happening with the client 1st
and then we, I create the scripton the spot based on what
they're saying. And a lot of the time I'll just
have this random talk come in and then I'll say it.
(21:48):
And I'm like, because I say to my clients, there's something if
there's a word I'm using or any language I'm using that you're
like, I don't really feel that change it.
And then you can see it on that great time.
I'd be like, well, yeah, it's like, yeah, it is that being in
touch with myself allows me to be in touch with what they're
feeling too. But that I'm, I'm, I'm all into
manifestation, spirituality, intuition, that's all, that's
(22:10):
all my vibe. So yeah, it, it definitely helps
me because when you're in touch with who you are, it allows that
intuition, intuitive side of youto come out.
And I also think in my experience, actually, it is, you
know, the more work that I've done on myself, the more my of
my emotional blocks that I've let go of that all of that
(22:32):
clutter or noise that's inside of us.
Once that's removed, we do have a, a stronger connection to
self, to our, our higher selves or our inner wisdom.
So yeah, I think it it, it's, it's a good route to it to
finding more intuition. It seems like now another thing
(22:55):
that I'm always curious about with tapping is the the actual
process. So you're tapping on particular
meridians or meridians. If you do it wrong, does it
still work? Or if you forget one, if you
(23:15):
forget to tap to tap the top of your head, will it still work?
Yeah. It still works OK, so there's
different techniques of doing it.
There's ones where people cut out different parts.
There's some people start with aset of points.
I usually start with a set of points on the side of the hand
and then go through the body as well.
I'll be on the bus and I'll do it.
(23:36):
I'll do I do the triple warmer, which is between your pinky and
your ring finger just slightly below and just tapping there.
No one could see me doing that on the bus, not see me at dinner
doing that. No one saw me here 2 minutes
before we started. They're called tapping along.
It doesn't matter if you're doing it at the wrong place if
you're not following the sequence, it is best to
(23:59):
verbalize what you're saying because hearing your own voice
saying it, it really helps you to stay connected to what you're
doing. I use the two my two hands as
well. I'm doing it so I don't pick up
my phone or get distracted meansthat I'm fully connected to what
I'm doing. But sometimes I'll I'll skip
points and because the triple warmer, the one here and the
(24:20):
side of the hand, they they cover most emerging lines
anyway, it doesn't really matter.
It's OK. It's the practice of doing it is
the most important thing. So just do it.
Don't get hung up on fantastic resistance.
So a lot of people, you know, have a lot of resistance to
(24:42):
moving forward, to actually doing a lot of these things.
So a lot of people, as I said, no, they need to change, but
they don't know how to change orthere's something there that's
just stopping them. They just can't take that next
step. So why do you think this
(25:03):
resistance shows up so much in people and what do you think it
is? Or how can we breakthrough it?
Yeah. So resistance comes up and all
of us is it's so it's annoying. But when we know that resistance
has come, that's when you know that you're on the edge of an up
level. And that's the scariest part
(25:25):
because when you know you're about to change, you're like, Oh
no, I like where I am. I know it's safe and I survived
yesterday. It's a month right again.
So even if we're in the most toxic environments, like I said,
was in a toxic relationship for nearly seven years, I was in my
last job for seven years is something with sevens.
(25:45):
And yeah, I knew I like, I remember doing the employee
engagement survey, everyone I said, yeah, I won't be here next
year. Yeah, I won't be here next year.
Yeah, I won't be here next year.But I stayed to my stage because
the option of changing or doing something else is scary because
fear is we don't know if we're going to be able to handle the
(26:05):
outcome. And sometimes I say this to
clients and like, oh, you're fearing success.
And they're like, how can I fearsuccess?
But that doesn't make any sense.And like, yeah, because you
don't know what's going to come.You don't know if you're worthy
of it. You don't know if you would be
able to handle the new money coming into your life or the new
job or the new man or whatever. You don't know if you'd be able
(26:25):
to handle it because it's it wassomething different.
We like consistent but quick because we can control it.
Even if it's terrible. We know that we survived
yesterday and our ego is like, yeah, just just stay here.
It's nice and cozy. Familiar present is safer than
yeah, the unfamiliar, even excitement or all the things we
(26:47):
think we want. Yeah, yeah.
So it's usually at that point where clients come to me,
they're like something's happened.
I just, I just need to change. And sometimes it's like I get
people messages from people saying I really want my sister
to work with you. I really want my friend.
I keep telling my friend all thetime about you, but they're just
not doing it. I'm like, just allow them in
(27:07):
their own time. They're on time and they'll be
ready when something it'll be like that trigger where it's
like, why didn't I do this before?
But sometimes we're like, oh, I'll wait until that trigger
hits and sometimes it doesn't. It doesn't hit for everyone.
And it's the scariest of like, I'll just wait until it's the
right time or I'll wait till summer is over.
(27:28):
I'll wait until, um, I have whatever money in the bank.
I'll wait until something special happens.
And what are we waiting for? Yeah, Fiona Brennan said the
same thing last week about, you know, people reaching out to
her. Can you work with my husband,
father, brother, whoever I mentioned all men there, that
was maybe. And you work with somebody
(27:51):
because we do want we, we see the pain and others and we want
to fix it. But it is a really important
lesson to learn. We can't fix other people.
And one of the lessons I think Ilearned, you know, not so long
ago, as well as not only can we not fix other people, but it may
(28:13):
not be their time. It may not ever be their time
because each one of us is on a different journey.
Each one of us has a path. And maybe that's the lesson
we're here to learn. So the the key or the real
lesson is that we need to keep working on ourselves.
You mentioned it at the very beginning.
(28:35):
You know, we need to gradually make the changes and keep doing
our own healing. And in my experience, Ashley,
when we heal ourselves, the people around us change.
Has that been your experience? Yeah, I well, especially since I
post on Instagram, I usually I get my mom be like I I did
(28:56):
something because I've been reading your Instagram posts,
not kind of mine. Of course, I do notice that when
you're changing, you also attract the energy that is like
minded and all of a sudden thesetoxic people just leave your
life. Like how did that happen?
But you also attract the right people then as well.
So we can't save anyone. It's not our issue to save
(29:20):
anyone. We we can't, like you said, when
you. And I being life coaches or
coaches, we, we can't save anyone.
We can facilitate, but everybodyhas to choose, as you said.
And do the work as well. Like, yeah, come to either of us
and say, fix me. Well, you're not broke.
So no, yeah, no one's broke. And we just want to improve
(29:40):
ourselves. There's things that we want to
help our mindset so that we're not overthinking, We're not
running 1,000,000 miles, we're not burning ourselves out.
It's finding the tools of finding the support and talking
to someone who's been in that situation to get out of it.
So yes, I'm going off on a little time to term.
That's a hassle, everyone comingat that right time, but it's
sometimes we don't know when that time is going to be and
(30:04):
it's just actually been like, I'm not, I'm just going to do
it. I just have to do something for
myself and especially my clients.
A lot of more people please. They're not used to putting
themselves first or asking for help because I don't know if you
find this with with your clients, they think that it's
weak to ask for help. Yeah, You know, there is a lot
of people who who don't like to admit that something needs to
(30:27):
change because we put on that front, isn't it that I'm OK?
And especially, I would say a lot of people in leadership,
women in leadership, it's they have to appear strong.
They have to appear that they have it all together.
But you know, spoiler alert, very few people do unless you've
(30:48):
gone through and done the work. But even if you have done the
work, we still all have our things that we still need to
learn and grow through. But in your case, so from going
from somebody who didn't have much self belief, who didn't
feel confident to now speaking in front of audiences and
(31:12):
changing the world. Ashling 11 client at a time,
couple of clients at a time. What was that shift?
So can you trace back to a moment that triggered something,
or was it just that continual work that you blossomed into
(31:33):
being a confident person? Probably a few things because
like I, I say to everyone, it's like you're not finished.
You're not. No one ever gets a point where
I'm like, I've learned everything.
I don't need to work on myself anymore.
No, obviously if you're 100 years old, probably it's hard to
say, don't need to work on myself anymore.
But we're not like life is for living.
(31:55):
Life is for going to experience things as we level up and as we
go through different parts in our lives, we are going to come
across other challenges. So I'd say like when it was when
I was in my, in my last job in HR and I was like, I don't need
to be here anymore and why? What am I doing here?
And then I got into manifestation and that worked so
(32:18):
quickly and I was like, hang on,why am I struggling?
Why am I forcing things to be soa certain way?
And then once I stopped and wentinto that high vibration and I
was like, ah, things, just life's an easy mode now things
are just quicker. And then when I did my life
coaching course, we had to do anassessment where we had to ask
(32:38):
our friends and family questionsabout us.
And I wanted a really specific and I was like, be mean.
I'm not mean, but like, be like honest.
I don't want to be mean. And I was like, please be me.
That's what they were saying. I want to be mean.
Yeah. And one of the things when I
asked is like when you think of me what what words would use to
describe me? And two words, little 3, there's
(33:01):
another word that had come out before that, but 3 words that
kept coming up were calm, confident and authentic.
And I was like me, calm, confident and authentic.
I say I'm not calm, I'm not confident.
And then I was like, hang on, these people see it in me.
(33:22):
What's it going to take for me to realize it?
Like they're all seeing it happened.
And I was like, it's just a choice.
Now they're telling me I am, so I may as well be.
And then I noticed then when I started networking, then I would
have people coming up to me being like, you're just so
confident and you're so like, probably.
And there's not. I'm like, I'm just being my
(33:43):
weird normal self. Whereas before, when I was a
child, I would would have only left that out in front of
certain people where I'd go to network men.
So but like with image and there'd be, I don't know, 200
people there. And it's like La, La, La, La,
live my best life, having a great time and people are just,
you'd attract people who are similar to you, so.
(34:05):
This is obviously, you know, thepersonification of what I'm
trying to teach in the world. So thank you for describing it
so perfectly because it is exactly that.
When we have a coherent or a regulated nervous system.
So when we're able to manage ouremotions in the right way, when
(34:28):
we have a mindset that again is connecting with that, positively
reinforcing that coherent and regulated state.
And then we have the behaviours or the habits that enact them
every day. And that is how we create a high
(34:49):
vibrational state and how it impacts others.
And that is the key. And you have just described it
beautifully, Ashley, you know, because it it is also really
important that we start to see ourselves how we really are
because we have years and years of conditioning and limiting
(35:11):
beliefs and bullshit. But, you know, allow us to keep
stuck in that or I'm not, I'm not good enough for I can't do
that or whatever else. And this actually, yeah.
So here's a question. What is the one limiting belief
that you think most women have that you would love them all to
(35:36):
release and let go of? So what 1 limiting belief do you
see coming up again and again that's disturbing people's
ability to be happy and successful?
It always, always comes back to not feeling worthy, not feeling
good enough. And it's The thing is when you
look at a child, when a child isfirst born, they are whole and
(36:00):
they are perfect and they're just, they're just them.
They're just who they are. They don't have any anyone
telling them to be a certain wayor anything like that.
And then at some point in our lives, it changes and we're all
of us and we're comparing ourselves and we want to fit in,
we want to belong, we want to act a certain way.
(36:20):
We want to do, we want to achieve, we want to make other
people happy. And all of these beliefs come
along. And if we go back to our younger
self and it's like if you talk to the baby like a baby, would
you ever say, oh, you're not good enough?
No, what's the difference between when we're a baby and
we're now? Like it's just all these stories
and beliefs that we have craftedand created and it always comes
(36:42):
back to not feeling regular enough.
And it's interesting because when I started working on
myself, I didn't realize I had work to do.
So I was unconscious of the need.
And I would never have said, if anybody had asked me, do you
feel unworthy or not good enough?
(37:04):
I would have said no. So this is an interesting piece
that for some people those wordsdon't resonate.
So how else does that limiting belief or lack of self belief,
do you see it phrased in different ways or how else do
(37:24):
you think it shows up? That's because I agree with you.
You know, none of us have that, not none of us.
But I think most human beings don't feel good enough in some
shape or form. So how do you see it Asha?
I'd say when people come to me they usually use the word worthy
because they've heard me use it.But if you haven't been looking
(37:46):
at anyone's content or been reading about it, it's usually
come from something enough. I'm not something enough.
I'm not smart enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not tall
enough, I'm not skinny enough. It's enough.
It's I'm not something enough and not feeling you're able to
do something. So it could look like not going
for a promotion, not travelling by yourself.
(38:06):
I'm not moving out because of whatever it is because again,
you're like, am I good enough first?
Am I like able to function by myself enough?
Am I able to do that by myself? Is it OK?
You're not trusting yourself as well, isn't it?
Yeah, just not trusting your, your capabilities or yeah.
(38:31):
So if you're somebody sitting athome or, or walking, maybe
you're walking listening to thispodcast and you know you have
these patterns of overthinking or doubting yourself, not
trusting yourself, wanting to dosomething, but just not able to
(38:51):
get started. What's your advice?
Where do they start? What's the first thing they
should do to to get that shift that they need?
Well, the first is it was awareness, because if you know
that you're aware of it, it's like, OK, so this is what it is.
Because if you're not aware, youcan't do anything.
And sometimes awareness is the most frustrating because then
(39:12):
he's seeing it ever that's happening, and then he's seeing
your friends and family doing it.
So awareness is the most important thing.
Acceptance is the next. Because if to accept something
needs to change and then action actually doing something so that
can look different for differentpeople and not saying that
everybody needs to go to coaching, therapy or whatever,
(39:32):
it can look different to certainpoints in different people's
lives. So it could be my favorite three
questions that I always come back to is like, if there's a
thought that I'm coming off against, it's always is it true?
Is it helpful? And what's my next?
Very good. So with is it true?
So is it true that I'm not worthy?
(39:53):
So like, what evidence? What evidence is there?
It's like, oh, is it helpful? Is it helpful for me to tell
myself this? Probably not.
And what's the next best thought?
OK, what if it worked out? What if I was good enough?
Or what if I could help? What if I spoke to someone to
help me relieve this? Because a lot of the time, like
when I'm talk to people, they'relike.
(40:16):
You. Just get it.
And I'm like, yeah, because I'vebeen there.
I know what you're going through.
And so many people think they'relike, I should have it figured
out. I should be able to just do this
by myself. I should just do that.
And if that should is a pressurefrom someone else, it's pressure
from something, but it's pressure, pressure in some shape
or form. And it's then going, OK, well,
(40:39):
actually Ashing has normalized. Kira's normalized that it is
normal to feel this way. But there is another way of
feeling, thinking and being. Yeah, so if you have a bad day,
what's your high vibrational shift?
How do you get yourself out of it?
I. Do my rebound from a bad day
topping topping specifically forthat.
(41:01):
And I also listen to I have a high vibe playlist that I give
to all my clients. So it's got affirmations in
there. It's got like some real like
upbeat music. Yeah, it's the high vibes, but
it's not normal. It's not like Taylor's I dove
Taylor Swift. It's not it's not like
(41:23):
mainstream type of music. It's all about manifestation,
the universe allowing things coming to us.
So I'll put that on. That's my thing.
Yeah. It's going back to that and
allowing myself to have a bad day because not every day is
perfect. It's just yeah, just OK,
something happened, but going OK, well, am I going to be
annoyed by this in 2, two weeks from now without, yeah, this
(41:47):
doesn't matter. Yeah, it's life acceptance.
I always say that, you know, things won't always go right,
but the quicker we forgive ourselves for our mishaps and
our mistakes, the quicker we canget back on track and get right
back into that high vibration. Do you have a favorite mantra or
(42:09):
a phrase that you use when you're tapping?
A few so I am safe is always really important because that
really helps us regulate our nervous system because when when
we don't feel safe, that's when our nervous system goes into
fight, flight, freeze, fawn where we're like, oh,
something's happening because our our brain is still wired to
(42:30):
be like Cavemen, Cavemen where alion, tiger, bear is going to
come chase us. But it's like, hang on, it's
just an e-mail. Hang on, it's just a text
message. Hang on the doorbell just rang.
It's not anything dramatic. So it's like him safe.
And the other one is I'm allowedto be me.
Beautiful. I love it.
What brings you joy right now? Joy.
(42:54):
So much holidays. Yeah.
I'm getting married in Portugal next month, so we're having a
family reunion after that. So my aunts all live in
different countries, so they're all coming together.
So we're going to have a nice time together.
But yeah, I'm always travelling,that's why I work on a laptop.
All my clients are online so. Amazing.
(43:17):
Myself as well, so it's having the time just to take the laptop
and go but being but I have Telegram, which is how I say
connected. It's actually saying telegram.
I could be in Telegram all day, and what's happening with you?
Tell me what's happening? How can I help?
Yeah, that brings more. Story fabulous.
And how can people find out moreabout jashing?
(43:37):
So I have a website, ashtonkennedycoaching.com and
also Instagram is where I am allthe time.
So it's Coach Ocean Kennedy. Brilliant, brilliant.
And we'll put all that in the show notes.
And you also have a little gift for our listeners, don't you?
I do a little gift, it's an EFT tapping.
Some people can practice it themselves.
It's a morning confidence tapping, so it's quick and easy
(44:00):
to do. You can download it on your
phone or your laptop, whichever,and I'm always open to people.
Drop me a message, let me know how you get on with it, what
your experience was. I don't have to have anything.
Fabulous, thank you so much. I do have loads more questions,
but we'll do them. We'll do them after I hit stop.
(44:22):
I don't know. Thank you so much for giving up
your time Ashley and sharing everything and I really hope
people engage with your content because it can make a
difference. So big hug and, and thank you
and thank you all for listening in.
Umm, so have a fabulous inner day.
(44:44):
So what I've learned from this conversation with Ashling is
that it is possible to make thathigh vibrational shift at any
stage at any time during your day with tapping.
And what I loved to find out is that you don't have to follow
the exact technique to make it work.
(45:08):
So if you want to find out more about Ashling, her website is
linked below and you'll find a link to her free tapping for
morning confidence. And if you've been enjoying this
podcast and you resonate with the idea of being in high
vibration, I want to let you know that we are creating
(45:29):
something very cool in the background to help you to make
that shift and sustain it, sustain the high vibrational
state through your days and through your life.
Now to be in high vibration is not just about personal success,
happiness and flow, which of course is quite a bonus, but
(45:54):
high vibration, being in a coherent state, a coherent
regulated state not just has an amazingly positive impact on
your own life, but it impacts everybody around you, your
family, friends and the wider world.
So if this sounds like somethingthat you would like to be
(46:19):
involved in, check out the link below and make sure you get on
the wait list because the wait list will be the first to know
when we go live. So make sure you are following
this podcast to be informed whenthe next episode goes live.
(46:43):
And and I wish you a wonderful inner day.
Thanks again for listening and we will see you next time.
Welcome to The High Vibration Reset, the podcast for women
ready to step into their next level of success without
burnout, overthinking, or ever feeling undervalued.
I'm your host, Kira Conlon, and I've spent the past 18 years
helping ambitious women to shifttheir mindset, elevate their
(00:23):
energy and lead with more confidence.
So welcome to the second episodeof Season 2 of the podcast.
And today's guest is self beliefcoach Ashlyn Kennedy.
Now Ashlyn works with women to help them break free from people
pleasing, overthinking and self doubt.
(00:45):
So I'm sure there's a few of youout there that are going to
benefit from this conversation. Ashley shares her journey from
being a quiet child to becoming a confident coach and speaker.
Now she's also a an EFT practitioner and she uses this
with her clients to help them release emotions like guilt,
(01:08):
shame, fear, or anything else that's blocking their happiness
and success. I invited Ashling along because
her work and her presence also embodies high vibrational
leadership for me. She has some great tips for
(01:29):
stopping people pleasing for overcoming limiting beliefs, and
lots more. So let's get into it.
But please let us know in the comments what you thought of
this episode. And if you're enjoying the
podcast, please follow to be updated and enjoy the
(01:49):
conversation. And delighted to have Ashlyn
Kennedy with me here today. And Ashlyn is a certified self
belief coach. I love that Ashlyn and EFT
practitioner. So I'm not going to introduce
you anymore now Ashling, umm, you.
(02:11):
I saw you originally at an imageevent where you came and you
spoke to the women about EFT, emotional freedom technique or
tapping as some people know it as, and it was an amazing talk.
I think you probably made a big difference in a lot of people's
(02:32):
lives that day. So yeah, I wanted to invite you
on to tell us a bit more. So delighted to have you here.
Thanks. So much Karen, I'm so excited
and I'm really glad that you took something from that
workshop because it's one of those environments where you
don't know what's going to happen.
You don't know if people are going to be skeptical.
You don't know what people are coming forward.
(02:53):
That workshop in particular because it was a Co working day.
So I don't know who's going to be there.
And I was so grateful to have met you because I remember
looking out, everyone watching and I just remember you smiling
at me. She's enjoying this.
I love the introduction and thank you so much for having me
here because I love I've listened to the first first
episode with Fiona last week andI've listened to the other ones
(03:16):
as well. So I love the concept of the
high vibration. I'm always talking about life on
easy mode. So I was like, oh, manifested,
this is it's a lovely podcast toto be part of.
So thank you so much. Absolutely.
I think it was a good fit for for both of us.
So one of the things you spoke about that day was kind of where
you came from, Ashling. So, you know, you now teach
(03:39):
women how to have more stronger self belief or confidence, but
that's not where you came from. Tell us a bit more about how you
became a life coach and how thisall transpired.
Yeah. So I was one of those kids who
basically didn't talk much, likeat all.
I could talk, obviously I could talk, but I just chose not to.
(04:03):
I feel like it's coming back to I was kind of ridiculed or like
I had AI still do have a quite high pitched voice.
And that that used to always be in my head that I had this like
baby voice and I have memories of like asking for help or
asking people for something or very support or being myself or
(04:25):
trying to copy something that I see on TV.
And then I'd like that feels funny.
That feels funny. So I just muted.
I just stayed really quiet. So that carried with me for my
whole life and it led me into the toxic work relation, toxic
work environments, toxic romantic relationships, toxic
(04:45):
friendships because it wasn't I was attracting them, It's that
we put up with them, right? Because toxic will go to anyone.
They'll take anyone's energy that they can.
But unless you have the self worth to put up the blocks in
the but I don't need this. I deserve more.
But I didn't know how to do thatbecause I was just people
pleasing my whole life. I didn't know any any
(05:06):
difference. Because people pleasing is a
learned coping mechanism that wewe do to survive.
And it's something that helps uswhen we're children to survive
in the moment. But then when we carry it into
our adults life, we go what's happening?
And I lost my sense of self. So I am one of those people who
did every quiz under the sun to figure out what I want them to
(05:28):
do after my leaving search. And it was leading me towards
like HR, social work, that sort of stuff.
So it's kind of in the right direction, helping people some
way, shape or form, but not knowing what it was.
It was always like, ask everyoneelse what should I do?
What do you think I should do, what you think I would do?
If you were me, what would you do?
But I was never listening to myself because I didn't know
(05:51):
what my voice was. I was always trying to people
play is trying to get into what I thought it was supposed to be
like, you know, all of my friends were going to college.
It was like you have to go to college.
So back to college. And then it was OK after I get a
job. So got a job.
And then it wasn't then until I realized that I was at a point
where I was in HR, so London HR,then I'd had I think A7 or 8
(06:19):
different promotions within seven years.
And I was constantly going up and up and up.
And I was like, didn't feel likeI was happy or achieving, like I
was doing my job really well, but I was like, there's
something really missing. And it wasn't until an
unfortunate event. So when I knew, took their own
life. And that was where I started to
(06:39):
go, whoa, whoa, what's happeninghere?
Like I need to look into my mental health.
I need to look into putting myself first, what I need
because I thought that they had everything anyone could ever
wanted. And I said, well, what happened?
What happened there? So I said, well, what do I want?
What what do I want from me? So when I started looking into
(07:00):
that and started reading a lot of books, started listening to
podcasts, I started realizing that the values that I had just
did not align with the company Iwas in.
Very good. That was completely out of sort.
So I went to a life coach. I manifested my redundancy, got
my redundancy within 10 days of manifesting it.
Wow, when I, I remember the specific question that the life
(07:24):
coach asked me was what did you enjoy about a door?
And I started answering and I was like, Oh, I love doing 1 to
ones. I loved empowering my team and
getting them to go for promotion, blah, blah, blah.
And then she's like, no, no, no,what did you enjoy?
But hey, door. And I was like, ah, nothing.
I just heard a whole new thing. And I was like, I've just been
(07:44):
doing this for so long because Ithought I had to and I was just,
you know, following the timeline.
And it's the timeline that is there step by society and that
are all of our friends family ask because it's natural to ask,
you know, when you're going to buy a house, when you're going
to have kids. And I was like, hang on, do I
want to do these things? Do I want?
(08:04):
So that's where I completely shifted the whole HR And I was
like, well, it's not HR, but it's something about helping
people. And I realized that I had
completely lost my voice in thatcompany.
And while I was still there, I was starting to use it, was
trying to find it and it was being smothered.
And I was like, well, why is whyis this happening?
And that all LED then I was starting to go into my flow,
(08:27):
into my high vibration. And then that's why I manifested
redundancy within 10 days. And then I did go on this
confusing. I don't know what I'm supposed
to be doing for six months. It took me 6 months to figure
out what I'm supposed to doing. And once I figured it out,
everything both started falling into place.
So that's how the lifeguarding came about.
Amazing. So you just kind of when you
(08:47):
found the right thing slow started to naturally occur
amazing. So there's a lot of a lot of
things I want to ask you about in there, a lot of interesting
stuff. But can we go back to just what
you said about that people pleasing.
So it sounds like the pattern there that you stepped into was
(09:08):
kind of self created. Whereas I think with some people
with people pleasing, it may be because of the lives that they
led or the people that were in their lives that forced them
into this pattern, but you kind of self created it.
Would it be right in in saying that?
Yeah, kind of comes from a few different things.
My mom's people, please. So I naturally adopted how she
(09:31):
is because we we adapt and we'vecopy what other people do.
I have an older brother who lovethem Tibet.
He was, you know, as a child he was really blonde, really
smiley, really outgoing. And I wasn't that.
So I was like, Oh well, what do I do to get that reward?
Which was good girl, good girl, you're so quiet and you're so
(09:52):
pretty and all these little things.
So the people pleasing came fromfeeling safe.
And what for me to feel safe wasto be quiet and to do what
people wanted me to do. So it can come from a mixture of
things that could be from, you know, your parents may be
leaning on you to emotion regulate themselves and you feel
(10:13):
like you have to do that. It could be that you've learned
that if you are good or kind or do a certain thing for someone
else, then they're happy. It's about controlling someone
else's emotions. But we can't control someone
else's emotions. We can only control ourselves.
But as a child, you don't know this.
You don't have the emotional know this.
And until you do the work on yourself as an adult, you're
(10:37):
going to stay in those patterns.And it is also, I suppose,
societal, not pressure, but whatgenerational with with women,
it's this. We're expected to get into that
role of making sure everybody else is happy.
We're nurturers, we want everybody, we want peace, we
want everything to feel calm andin control.
(11:01):
So I suppose that pressure is oneveryone.
I mean in your work, do you see people pleasing as a big issue?
Yeah, most people come to with people pleasing, OK, majority of
them do. Some of them like, I don't
really do that. But then we get into it and
they're like, oh, that's what people pleasing is.
(11:22):
Because I didn't actually know what people want.
People pleasing was until a few years ago, I'd never heard the
word. And then someone described it to
me and I was like, Oh, yeah, yeah, I do that because
sometimes we think it's literally just not like saying
yes to everything. Being the person who goes and
collects you from the airport at2:00 in the morning, even though
(11:43):
you've got a big presentation tomorrow at 9:00 AM.
It's, it's not always that. It's not speaking up for
yourself because you're afraid of what the other person will
say. It's not putting yourself first.
It's losing your voice completely.
And you don't know what you wantanymore.
So you just go along with what everyone else wants to do.
And when you've lost your sense of self, like usually what
(12:04):
happens with my clients is when they come to me, I say, what do
you want? And they're like, I want to stop
overthinking. OK, well, what do you want?
They don't. They can't imagine near their
life other than overthinking, procrastinating, worrying about
what everyone else is thinking. They, they, they like that
doesn't exist. It does.
(12:24):
It does, but you've been so lostin it for so long less you think
it doesn't. Yeah, yeah.
So do you always use emotional freedom technique to help people
out of that people pleasing or is it a combination of
strategies? Yeah, yeah.
(12:46):
Because The thing is so EFT, so emotional freedom technique is
based on actually. There's a good thing.
Yeah. Let's tell people, anyone who
doesn't know what it is, give usa bit more info there, Ashling.
Thank you. So EFT tapping is emotional
freedom technique and tapping isthe IT describes what you do.
So it's the light, gentle tapping on Meridian lines.
(13:08):
So it's based on traditional Chinese medicine and it's
similar to similar in some like it's a psychological form of
acupunct acupuncture because youknow the little needles which
are placed into the Meridian points.
However, with EFT tapping, you're not actually using any
needles, you're just using your hands ever so slightly on these
(13:29):
points. So it's based on this concept of
chi. So chi is the life force energy
and how we have all of our emotions and our energy in our
bodies. So traditional Chinese medicine
that say that all of our energy and all of our dis ease and any
discomfort is where something a part of a Meridian line is not
(13:50):
flowing correctly so that acupuncture will, you know, tap
into it and allow it to release it, to allow it to flow.
So EFT tapping, emotional freedom technique is where
you're releasing those emotions so that you're freeing them and
you're allowing that block to resolve because a lot of people
like my, my coping mechanism as well with people pleasing as
(14:12):
avoidance will avoid things. So with, with tapping, you're
physically tapping on points of your body, you're verbally
speaking out what the issue is and you're changing what the
issue is. So say for example, someone's
coming with shame or guilt or frustration, we talk about it,
we go, OK, I'm feeling guilt. And then you talk it through so
(14:33):
you're not ignoring it. So actually verbalizing your
voice and saying it goes, OK, this, this is what's happening.
I can't ignore it. And it sparks up that neural
pathway within you to go, OK, this is the neural pathway I
have associated with this issue.We can talk through where it
came from. And then we release and clear
(14:53):
the block and replace it with and create a new neural pathway
so that when you're thinking about say the presentation or
say it's saying no for the firsttime to someone, it's going OK.
Well, the last time I'm, I'm worried about this thing that
happened when I was four years old or six years old.
You don't even fully your subconscious remember this.
And I remember the feeling. Now.
(15:15):
It's associating something new and going well.
What if I what if it went reallywell?
What if it went brilliant? What if I was able to speak
really clearly and replacing it with something else?
So when you finish your you haveto tapping like we do.
A few rounds of it can be two minutes long, it'd be 20 minutes
long, but you start to feel a sense of relief, of relief, uh,
(15:37):
confidence and cortisol drops, umm, happiness increases.
It's amazing. Absolutely.
And I have tried it in the past and I have used it and
definitely, yeah, I it's one of those things as well that I
suppose it's a technique that works.
I've seen transformation in other people.
(15:58):
It's so a lot of the work that Ido is about what you've just
described. So it's the, the mindset piece
alongside the release of the emotion.
And that's really where we get lasting change, isn't it?
So, you know, we can release theemotion or we can talk about
emotion and let go of fear of guilt.
(16:22):
And this is something that I think, Ashley, you know, and why
I wanted to get you on is for people to really understand that
we can do this, that this is possible.
A lot of people don't understandthat that the emotion in our
bodies is we can move through it.
But then what you're saying there about the neural pathway,
(16:44):
we need to interrupt that neuralpathway and then reprogram.
So within a short tapping session, we can do the whole
process. Yeah.
And tell me. So like something like guilt.
OK. So guilt is a big emotion.
(17:04):
And and again, we, you know, it's generational.
It's a lot of women, they spend their lives feeling guilty.
So can one session clear guilt, or is it a series of sessions
that are needed in order to breakthrough all of the
patterns? It depends.
(17:24):
It depends on the person becauseI sometimes have people come to
me and they have a particular issue with they're just really
struggling with. Yes, it can help support that.
So in a study that was done in 2012 of people who had done a
one hour coaching set or one hour tapping session, 24%, they
felt there was a drop of cortisol by 24% compared to
(17:48):
psychotherapy, which is 14%. And then the control group,
there was no significant change at all.
So 24% is a huge percent drop that cortisol, which is
obviously related to anxiety andregulating your nervous system
and helping you feel more confident in that area.
So it there's definite changes and shifts.
I noticed that I can, I can see people like the sighing or just
(18:10):
the relaxing of the shoulders and taking the breath and they
say to me at the end, I could physically feeling, feel that
emotion leave my body. So yes, people will feel a lot
different during and then after the tapping.
But it like when my clients cometo me, sometimes people think
it's like a quick fix, but you don't just go to the gym and
(18:32):
then all of a sudden you have a six pack.
It's like we need to continuously work on our
mindset. So majority of the time it's
working with clients for a few weeks to work on not just that
one issue because people pleasing is deeper rooted.
It's coming from a sense of not feeling worthy.
So, so I use you asked me beforewhen I, before I went off my
(18:53):
tangent about what EFT tapping is, is do I use a mixture of EFT
tools? So I use a mixture because
sometimes, like for example, yesterday I was with a client
and we we had planned on doing afull expansion tapping to really
step into higher self, to reallyexpand what she was feeling and
allow more abundance into her life.
(19:14):
But as soon as he got in the call, she, I could just say she
was exhausted, she was really burned out.
And I was like, we need to fix this.
We could have done tapping. We actually did something
completely different. And that's the fun of coaching,
you know that yeah, what's goingto happen and then it's
something completely different. So I said to her, like next time
we'll do it that, but we need tofix where this exhaustion and
(19:36):
bring outs come from. That's what we're doing right
now. And then we can step into your
higher self. Perfect, perfect.
But yes, so yeah, it can be a series.
And as you say, it's, it's, it always depends on the person, on
the situations, what they're dealing with.
But you can get massive transformation in one session,
Yeah. And I have a tap in library
which all my clients have accessto, so there's they're generic
(19:58):
ones obviously. Specific to each client because
it's for everyone, but they havelike a morning tapping, a sleep
tapping, A rebound from a bad day speaking up.
There's lots of different toppings in which are generic
that all my clients because I know they're all generally
around the same thing that they can use.
I use them a lot. I use, I'm hear my own voice and
(20:20):
I'm like tap, tap, tap. And that's there to support them
when they're not in a coaching session with me.
And they feel the relief from that.
We have like a new new year topic, a new month tapping.
And they use them at different points and sometimes they're
like, Oh yeah, I forgot this one's there because they, they
use their own recording sometimes and then they go back
to the tapping library. So they can, this is a tool that
(20:42):
they can use themselves in between the grouping sessions.
They have it after they've finished coaching with me.
And also they can tap like you can't easily just tap yourself
without without a coach without doing it before.
Obviously if you've never done before, you need to watch a
video or something, but you can do it.
Once you have that that knowledge, you can do it
yourself at any point, anywhere.Brilliant.
(21:03):
Brilliant. So it's just like a meditation
library, just picking out whatever my intuition thinks I
need right now. Yeah.
And Speaking of intuition, so doyou think that this has helped
you so that the bringing EFT into your life, do you think
(21:24):
that's helped you become a more intuitive person?
Has it impacted that side of you?
Yeah, I, I noticed it during thecoaching sessions.
So I'll discussing what's happening with the client 1st
and then we, I create the scripton the spot based on what
they're saying. And a lot of the time I'll just
have this random talk come in and then I'll say it.
(21:48):
And I'm like, because I say to my clients, there's something if
there's a word I'm using or any language I'm using that you're
like, I don't really feel that change it.
And then you can see it on that great time.
I'd be like, well, yeah, it's like, yeah, it is that being in
touch with myself allows me to be in touch with what they're
feeling too. But that I'm, I'm, I'm all into
manifestation, spirituality, intuition, that's all, that's
(22:10):
all my vibe. So yeah, it, it definitely helps
me because when you're in touch with who you are, it allows that
intuition, intuitive side of youto come out.
And I also think in my experience, actually, it is, you
know, the more work that I've done on myself, the more my of
my emotional blocks that I've let go of that all of that
(22:32):
clutter or noise that's inside of us.
Once that's removed, we do have a, a stronger connection to
self, to our, our higher selves or our inner wisdom.
So yeah, I think it it, it's, it's a good route to it to
finding more intuition. It seems like now another thing
(22:55):
that I'm always curious about with tapping is the the actual
process. So you're tapping on particular
meridians or meridians. If you do it wrong, does it
still work? Or if you forget one, if you
(23:15):
forget to tap to tap the top of your head, will it still work?
Yeah. It still works OK, so there's
different techniques of doing it.
There's ones where people cut out different parts.
There's some people start with aset of points.
I usually start with a set of points on the side of the hand
and then go through the body as well.
I'll be on the bus and I'll do it.
(23:36):
I'll do I do the triple warmer, which is between your pinky and
your ring finger just slightly below and just tapping there.
No one could see me doing that on the bus, not see me at dinner
doing that. No one saw me here 2 minutes
before we started. They're called tapping along.
It doesn't matter if you're doing it at the wrong place if
you're not following the sequence, it is best to
(23:59):
verbalize what you're saying because hearing your own voice
saying it, it really helps you to stay connected to what you're
doing. I use the two my two hands as
well. I'm doing it so I don't pick up
my phone or get distracted meansthat I'm fully connected to what
I'm doing. But sometimes I'll I'll skip
points and because the triple warmer, the one here and the
(24:20):
side of the hand, they they cover most emerging lines
anyway, it doesn't really matter.
It's OK. It's the practice of doing it is
the most important thing. So just do it.
Don't get hung up on fantastic resistance.
So a lot of people, you know, have a lot of resistance to
(24:42):
moving forward, to actually doing a lot of these things.
So a lot of people, as I said, no, they need to change, but
they don't know how to change orthere's something there that's
just stopping them. They just can't take that next
step. So why do you think this
(25:03):
resistance shows up so much in people and what do you think it
is? Or how can we breakthrough it?
Yeah. So resistance comes up and all
of us is it's so it's annoying. But when we know that resistance
has come, that's when you know that you're on the edge of an up
level. And that's the scariest part
(25:25):
because when you know you're about to change, you're like, Oh
no, I like where I am. I know it's safe and I survived
yesterday. It's a month right again.
So even if we're in the most toxic environments, like I said,
was in a toxic relationship for nearly seven years, I was in my
last job for seven years is something with sevens.
(25:45):
And yeah, I knew I like, I remember doing the employee
engagement survey, everyone I said, yeah, I won't be here next
year. Yeah, I won't be here next year.
Yeah, I won't be here next year.But I stayed to my stage because
the option of changing or doing something else is scary because
fear is we don't know if we're going to be able to handle the
(26:05):
outcome. And sometimes I say this to
clients and like, oh, you're fearing success.
And they're like, how can I fearsuccess?
But that doesn't make any sense.And like, yeah, because you
don't know what's going to come.You don't know if you're worthy
of it. You don't know if you would be
able to handle the new money coming into your life or the new
job or the new man or whatever. You don't know if you'd be able
(26:25):
to handle it because it's it wassomething different.
We like consistent but quick because we can control it.
Even if it's terrible. We know that we survived
yesterday and our ego is like, yeah, just just stay here.
It's nice and cozy. Familiar present is safer than
yeah, the unfamiliar, even excitement or all the things we
(26:47):
think we want. Yeah, yeah.
So it's usually at that point where clients come to me,
they're like something's happened.
I just, I just need to change. And sometimes it's like I get
people messages from people saying I really want my sister
to work with you. I really want my friend.
I keep telling my friend all thetime about you, but they're just
not doing it. I'm like, just allow them in
(27:07):
their own time. They're on time and they'll be
ready when something it'll be like that trigger where it's
like, why didn't I do this before?
But sometimes we're like, oh, I'll wait until that trigger
hits and sometimes it doesn't. It doesn't hit for everyone.
And it's the scariest of like, I'll just wait until it's the
right time or I'll wait till summer is over.
(27:28):
I'll wait until, um, I have whatever money in the bank.
I'll wait until something special happens.
And what are we waiting for? Yeah, Fiona Brennan said the
same thing last week about, you know, people reaching out to
her. Can you work with my husband,
father, brother, whoever I mentioned all men there, that
was maybe. And you work with somebody
(27:51):
because we do want we, we see the pain and others and we want
to fix it. But it is a really important
lesson to learn. We can't fix other people.
And one of the lessons I think Ilearned, you know, not so long
ago, as well as not only can we not fix other people, but it may
(28:13):
not be their time. It may not ever be their time
because each one of us is on a different journey.
Each one of us has a path. And maybe that's the lesson
we're here to learn. So the the key or the real
lesson is that we need to keep working on ourselves.
You mentioned it at the very beginning.
(28:35):
You know, we need to gradually make the changes and keep doing
our own healing. And in my experience, Ashley,
when we heal ourselves, the people around us change.
Has that been your experience? Yeah, I well, especially since I
post on Instagram, I usually I get my mom be like I I did
(28:56):
something because I've been reading your Instagram posts,
not kind of mine. Of course, I do notice that when
you're changing, you also attract the energy that is like
minded and all of a sudden thesetoxic people just leave your
life. Like how did that happen?
But you also attract the right people then as well.
So we can't save anyone. It's not our issue to save
(29:20):
anyone. We we can't, like you said, when
you. And I being life coaches or
coaches, we, we can't save anyone.
We can facilitate, but everybodyhas to choose, as you said.
And do the work as well. Like, yeah, come to either of us
and say, fix me. Well, you're not broke.
So no, yeah, no one's broke. And we just want to improve
(29:40):
ourselves. There's things that we want to
help our mindset so that we're not overthinking, We're not
running 1,000,000 miles, we're not burning ourselves out.
It's finding the tools of finding the support and talking
to someone who's been in that situation to get out of it.
So yes, I'm going off on a little time to term.
That's a hassle, everyone comingat that right time, but it's
sometimes we don't know when that time is going to be and
(30:04):
it's just actually been like, I'm not, I'm just going to do
it. I just have to do something for
myself and especially my clients.
A lot of more people please. They're not used to putting
themselves first or asking for help because I don't know if you
find this with with your clients, they think that it's
weak to ask for help. Yeah, You know, there is a lot
of people who who don't like to admit that something needs to
(30:27):
change because we put on that front, isn't it that I'm OK?
And especially, I would say a lot of people in leadership,
women in leadership, it's they have to appear strong.
They have to appear that they have it all together.
But you know, spoiler alert, very few people do unless you've
(30:48):
gone through and done the work. But even if you have done the
work, we still all have our things that we still need to
learn and grow through. But in your case, so from going
from somebody who didn't have much self belief, who didn't
feel confident to now speaking in front of audiences and
(31:12):
changing the world. Ashling 11 client at a time,
couple of clients at a time. What was that shift?
So can you trace back to a moment that triggered something,
or was it just that continual work that you blossomed into
(31:33):
being a confident person? Probably a few things because
like I, I say to everyone, it's like you're not finished.
You're not. No one ever gets a point where
I'm like, I've learned everything.
I don't need to work on myself anymore.
No, obviously if you're 100 years old, probably it's hard to
say, don't need to work on myself anymore.
But we're not like life is for living.
(31:55):
Life is for going to experience things as we level up and as we
go through different parts in our lives, we are going to come
across other challenges. So I'd say like when it was when
I was in my, in my last job in HR and I was like, I don't need
to be here anymore and why? What am I doing here?
And then I got into manifestation and that worked so
(32:18):
quickly and I was like, hang on,why am I struggling?
Why am I forcing things to be soa certain way?
And then once I stopped and wentinto that high vibration and I
was like, ah, things, just life's an easy mode now things
are just quicker. And then when I did my life
coaching course, we had to do anassessment where we had to ask
(32:38):
our friends and family questionsabout us.
And I wanted a really specific and I was like, be mean.
I'm not mean, but like, be like honest.
I don't want to be mean. And I was like, please be me.
That's what they were saying. I want to be mean.
Yeah. And one of the things when I
asked is like when you think of me what what words would use to
describe me? And two words, little 3, there's
(33:01):
another word that had come out before that, but 3 words that
kept coming up were calm, confident and authentic.
And I was like me, calm, confident and authentic.
I say I'm not calm, I'm not confident.
And then I was like, hang on, these people see it in me.
(33:22):
What's it going to take for me to realize it?
Like they're all seeing it happened.
And I was like, it's just a choice.
Now they're telling me I am, so I may as well be.
And then I noticed then when I started networking, then I would
have people coming up to me being like, you're just so
confident and you're so like, probably.
And there's not. I'm like, I'm just being my
(33:43):
weird normal self. Whereas before, when I was a
child, I would would have only left that out in front of
certain people where I'd go to network men.
So but like with image and there'd be, I don't know, 200
people there. And it's like La, La, La, La,
live my best life, having a great time and people are just,
you'd attract people who are similar to you, so.
(34:05):
This is obviously, you know, thepersonification of what I'm
trying to teach in the world. So thank you for describing it
so perfectly because it is exactly that.
When we have a coherent or a regulated nervous system.
So when we're able to manage ouremotions in the right way, when
(34:28):
we have a mindset that again is connecting with that, positively
reinforcing that coherent and regulated state.
And then we have the behaviours or the habits that enact them
every day. And that is how we create a high
(34:49):
vibrational state and how it impacts others.
And that is the key. And you have just described it
beautifully, Ashley, you know, because it it is also really
important that we start to see ourselves how we really are
because we have years and years of conditioning and limiting
(35:11):
beliefs and bullshit. But, you know, allow us to keep
stuck in that or I'm not, I'm not good enough for I can't do
that or whatever else. And this actually, yeah.
So here's a question. What is the one limiting belief
that you think most women have that you would love them all to
(35:36):
release and let go of? So what 1 limiting belief do you
see coming up again and again that's disturbing people's
ability to be happy and successful?
It always, always comes back to not feeling worthy, not feeling
good enough. And it's The thing is when you
look at a child, when a child isfirst born, they are whole and
(36:00):
they are perfect and they're just, they're just them.
They're just who they are. They don't have any anyone
telling them to be a certain wayor anything like that.
And then at some point in our lives, it changes and we're all
of us and we're comparing ourselves and we want to fit in,
we want to belong, we want to act a certain way.
(36:20):
We want to do, we want to achieve, we want to make other
people happy. And all of these beliefs come
along. And if we go back to our younger
self and it's like if you talk to the baby like a baby, would
you ever say, oh, you're not good enough?
No, what's the difference between when we're a baby and
we're now? Like it's just all these stories
and beliefs that we have craftedand created and it always comes
(36:42):
back to not feeling regular enough.
And it's interesting because when I started working on
myself, I didn't realize I had work to do.
So I was unconscious of the need.
And I would never have said, if anybody had asked me, do you
feel unworthy or not good enough?
(37:04):
I would have said no. So this is an interesting piece
that for some people those wordsdon't resonate.
So how else does that limiting belief or lack of self belief,
do you see it phrased in different ways or how else do
(37:24):
you think it shows up? That's because I agree with you.
You know, none of us have that, not none of us.
But I think most human beings don't feel good enough in some
shape or form. So how do you see it Asha?
I'd say when people come to me they usually use the word worthy
because they've heard me use it.But if you haven't been looking
(37:46):
at anyone's content or been reading about it, it's usually
come from something enough. I'm not something enough.
I'm not smart enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not tall
enough, I'm not skinny enough. It's enough.
It's I'm not something enough and not feeling you're able to
do something. So it could look like not going
for a promotion, not travelling by yourself.
(38:06):
I'm not moving out because of whatever it is because again,
you're like, am I good enough first?
Am I like able to function by myself enough?
Am I able to do that by myself? Is it OK?
You're not trusting yourself as well, isn't it?
Yeah, just not trusting your, your capabilities or yeah.
(38:31):
So if you're somebody sitting athome or, or walking, maybe
you're walking listening to thispodcast and you know you have
these patterns of overthinking or doubting yourself, not
trusting yourself, wanting to dosomething, but just not able to
(38:51):
get started. What's your advice?
Where do they start? What's the first thing they
should do to to get that shift that they need?
Well, the first is it was awareness, because if you know
that you're aware of it, it's like, OK, so this is what it is.
Because if you're not aware, youcan't do anything.
And sometimes awareness is the most frustrating because then
(39:12):
he's seeing it ever that's happening, and then he's seeing
your friends and family doing it.
So awareness is the most important thing.
Acceptance is the next. Because if to accept something
needs to change and then action actually doing something so that
can look different for differentpeople and not saying that
everybody needs to go to coaching, therapy or whatever,
(39:32):
it can look different to certainpoints in different people's
lives. So it could be my favorite three
questions that I always come back to is like, if there's a
thought that I'm coming off against, it's always is it true?
Is it helpful? And what's my next?
Very good. So with is it true?
So is it true that I'm not worthy?
(39:53):
So like, what evidence? What evidence is there?
It's like, oh, is it helpful? Is it helpful for me to tell
myself this? Probably not.
And what's the next best thought?
OK, what if it worked out? What if I was good enough?
Or what if I could help? What if I spoke to someone to
help me relieve this? Because a lot of the time, like
when I'm talk to people, they'relike.
(40:16):
You. Just get it.
And I'm like, yeah, because I'vebeen there.
I know what you're going through.
And so many people think they'relike, I should have it figured
out. I should be able to just do this
by myself. I should just do that.
And if that should is a pressurefrom someone else, it's pressure
from something, but it's pressure, pressure in some shape
or form. And it's then going, OK, well,
(40:39):
actually Ashing has normalized. Kira's normalized that it is
normal to feel this way. But there is another way of
feeling, thinking and being. Yeah, so if you have a bad day,
what's your high vibrational shift?
How do you get yourself out of it?
I. Do my rebound from a bad day
topping topping specifically forthat.
(41:01):
And I also listen to I have a high vibe playlist that I give
to all my clients. So it's got affirmations in
there. It's got like some real like
upbeat music. Yeah, it's the high vibes, but
it's not normal. It's not like Taylor's I dove
Taylor Swift. It's not it's not like
(41:23):
mainstream type of music. It's all about manifestation,
the universe allowing things coming to us.
So I'll put that on. That's my thing.
Yeah. It's going back to that and
allowing myself to have a bad day because not every day is
perfect. It's just yeah, just OK,
something happened, but going OK, well, am I going to be
annoyed by this in 2, two weeks from now without, yeah, this
(41:47):
doesn't matter. Yeah, it's life acceptance.
I always say that, you know, things won't always go right,
but the quicker we forgive ourselves for our mishaps and
our mistakes, the quicker we canget back on track and get right
back into that high vibration. Do you have a favorite mantra or
(42:09):
a phrase that you use when you're tapping?
A few so I am safe is always really important because that
really helps us regulate our nervous system because when when
we don't feel safe, that's when our nervous system goes into
fight, flight, freeze, fawn where we're like, oh,
something's happening because our our brain is still wired to
(42:30):
be like Cavemen, Cavemen where alion, tiger, bear is going to
come chase us. But it's like, hang on, it's
just an e-mail. Hang on, it's just a text
message. Hang on the doorbell just rang.
It's not anything dramatic. So it's like him safe.
And the other one is I'm allowedto be me.
Beautiful. I love it.
What brings you joy right now? Joy.
(42:54):
So much holidays. Yeah.
I'm getting married in Portugal next month, so we're having a
family reunion after that. So my aunts all live in
different countries, so they're all coming together.
So we're going to have a nice time together.
But yeah, I'm always travelling,that's why I work on a laptop.
All my clients are online so. Amazing.
(43:17):
Myself as well, so it's having the time just to take the laptop
and go but being but I have Telegram, which is how I say
connected. It's actually saying telegram.
I could be in Telegram all day, and what's happening with you?
Tell me what's happening? How can I help?
Yeah, that brings more. Story fabulous.
And how can people find out moreabout jashing?
(43:37):
So I have a website, ashtonkennedycoaching.com and
also Instagram is where I am allthe time.
So it's Coach Ocean Kennedy. Brilliant, brilliant.
And we'll put all that in the show notes.
And you also have a little gift for our listeners, don't you?
I do a little gift, it's an EFT tapping.
Some people can practice it themselves.
It's a morning confidence tapping, so it's quick and easy
(44:00):
to do. You can download it on your
phone or your laptop, whichever,and I'm always open to people.
Drop me a message, let me know how you get on with it, what
your experience was. I don't have to have anything.
Fabulous, thank you so much. I do have loads more questions,
but we'll do them. We'll do them after I hit stop.
(44:22):
I don't know. Thank you so much for giving up
your time Ashley and sharing everything and I really hope
people engage with your content because it can make a
difference. So big hug and, and thank you
and thank you all for listening in.
Umm, so have a fabulous inner day.
(44:44):
So what I've learned from this conversation with Ashling is
that it is possible to make thathigh vibrational shift at any
stage at any time during your day with tapping.
And what I loved to find out is that you don't have to follow
the exact technique to make it work.
(45:08):
So if you want to find out more about Ashling, her website is
linked below and you'll find a link to her free tapping for
morning confidence. And if you've been enjoying this
podcast and you resonate with the idea of being in high
vibration, I want to let you know that we are creating
(45:29):
something very cool in the background to help you to make
that shift and sustain it, sustain the high vibrational
state through your days and through your life.
Now to be in high vibration is not just about personal success,
happiness and flow, which of course is quite a bonus, but
(45:54):
high vibration, being in a coherent state, a coherent
regulated state not just has an amazingly positive impact on
your own life, but it impacts everybody around you, your
family, friends and the wider world.
So if this sounds like somethingthat you would like to be
(46:19):
involved in, check out the link below and make sure you get on
the wait list because the wait list will be the first to know
when we go live. So make sure you are following
this podcast to be informed whenthe next episode goes live.
(46:43):
And and I wish you a wonderful inner day.
Thanks again for listening and we will see you next time.
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