Dating in Utah County with Connor Snapp (PullUp.UT)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome everyone to this fourth episode of the Utah Jets
podcast. And we have Connor here with us
and he is the owner of the pull up dot UT.
Is that how you kind of like sayit when you're talking to people
or is it like, you know, pull upUtah or like what's the yeah,
yeah, we. Usually say like pull up Utah
just cause the UT can be a little confusing but.

(00:21):
All right. Yeah, yeah.
Pull up Utah. Awesome.
Well, thank you very much for joining us.
Connor, will you tell everyone alittle bit about your page and
what you guys do? Yeah, for sure.
Me and my roommate Camden, who was going to maybe hop on a
little bit, he's actually Mexicoright now.
The two of us run it. The idea of it is we saw like
the main problem of friends. We have people we run into, they

(00:44):
just feel like they have nothingto do or they don't know about
stuff going on or they don't know of just stuff in the area.
And so we thought, well, let's make an account to help people
find parties, find events, find little restaurants to go to help
people with their dating game orwhatnot.
And so we started this account. It was kind of slow going at
first, but lately it's been picking up a little bit, which

(01:05):
has been cool to see. But yeah, that's why it's called
Pull Up. Like, oh, are you going to pull
up to the event, Pull up to the party?
That's kind of where that name came from.
But yeah, just trying to help people find things to do and
connect with others. Awesome.
Super cool. Thank you.
Will you tell us a little bit about yourself as well?
I actually should have asked this probably a little bit prior
to asking about the account everything, but yeah.
So who are you and where you're from and what do you do?

(01:28):
Yeah, so I stated I'm Connor. So I'm from Springville, UT,
which is right next to Provo. If you're familiar with Utah,
I'm 23. I go to Utah Valley University.
I'm studying digital marketing right now, kind of with an
emphasis in social media marketing.
But yeah, I live in Orem, obviously, I guess because I
could give you, but I've lived in Utah my whole life, been in

(01:50):
Springville, Provo, Orem. Just kind of jumped around from
there. I don't know.
I'm a big sports guy, outdoors guy.
I'm a nerd about a lot of different things too.
And so, yeah, that's, that's about it.
Not too much, not too much with me.
Very cool, very cool. Awesome.
Thank you. What are you nerd about?
What's one thing that that you can openly say I love this, this

(02:12):
is my thing, or you know what I mean?
I feel like recently the thing that no one knew is I'm a nerd
about Rubik's cubes. I was like 11-12 years old.
I just got super into them and Ihave like 30 different types of
Rubik's cubes and stuff like that.
And so I. 30 different types. I had no idea that there were
more than like a few types of Rubik's Cube, but there are 30.
Oh my. God, yeah.

(02:33):
They range from like a three, like their traditional three by
three, but it can go all the wayup to like 10 by 10's.
And then you got different shaped ones and different kind
of color patterns. And so I got really into it when
I was younger. Now being in college and in my
20s, I don't use them too much, but I was a huge nerd about
those when I was younger. Wow, that's awesome.

(02:53):
Are you able to solve all thirtyof those?
I mean, I think I've solved all of them at one point.
Right now I could probably only do a handful. 10 sided Rubik's
Cube. Like 10 squares, so like a 10 by
10, so 100 squares per side. So 10 Oh, OK, I see.
Is it? Oh my gosh, how do you even
start that? Like what the man, that's wow,

(03:13):
that's I think that's kind of impressive.
I think I got a normal Rubus cube and I'm like, wow, I solved
one face of it and now the rest of it's complicated because
because then I mess up, you know, my face that I just did.
And then I'm like, oh man, this is frustrating, but it but it
sounds like there's like algorithms that you have to
memorize or something like that,right?
Algorithms and patterns and stuff, and it's fun when you
have nothing to worry about. But when you have finals to

(03:33):
study for, I don't really want to take up brain space with
algorithms. For sure.
I can't imagine being like beinglike, oh, I got my bio test
tomorrow. Let me just pick up my Rubik's
Cube and, you know, fry my brain.
Yeah, it makes sense. Very cool.
Well, welcome. We are super glad to have you.
We're going to talk a little bitabout dating.
That is our topic for this evening.
So let's just dive right into it.

(03:54):
So Connor, tell me about kind ofyour experience.
You said you grew up in Utah. What's been your experience of
growing up in Utah? But also as it relates to this
dating topic, you know, like as a teenager, what was the dating
culture like? And as you've transitioned into
college, what's that kind of been like here in Utah County?
Yeah, well, I feel like in general, there's a pretty big, I

(04:14):
feel there's two opinions a lot of people bag on growing up in
Utah and a lot of people love it.
I personally loved it. I loved high school, I loved
junior high. I feel like there's it's a very
social outgoing place and being LDS, it's a lot easier to
connect with people who have your same standards or different
outlooks on life. I mean I had plenty of non
member friends, but it was just you have a nice diversity in

(04:37):
that, but it's primarily LDS, which also is nice when it comes
to dating because you have a lotof LDS girls that you're
interacting with come in contactwith.
I feel like dating in high school is kind of its own its
own ordeal. I mean you're in high school,
you're not really dating to marry at that point.
But being back from my mission and dating, I feel like there's
a lot of options. You meet all kinds of different

(04:58):
type of people. I would say I've had a pretty
positive experience with dating,but I guess being 23 not
married, I've also had my difficulties with it and what
not. But I would say that I've
enjoyed my dating experience in Utah.
I have some people complain about it, but every state, every
city is going to have its own problems.
Like when I lived in New Jersey,the YSA out there, it's very low

(05:20):
numbers and not even half a percentage of the population of
one percentage of the populationin New Jersey are members.
So it's like you can have a lot harder time meeting at LDS Grill
to date where it kind of has itsown issues and challenges like.
But I guess Long story short, I I've enjoyed my dating
experience in Utah County. I feel like it's kind of hard to
figure out and I feel like each age is different.

(05:42):
When I was 19, oh, I guess the 19 year olds or 20 year olds I
go out with, it's a different experience from the 22 to 23
year olds. So I feel like that's kind of
been a hard thing. OK, OK, thank you.
So to follow up, for context, I grew up in Idaho and I feel like
people generally associate Utah,Idaho and Arizona as kind of the
quote UN quote, Mormon corridor,right?

(06:04):
Like the, OK, these three are all the same in terms of
culture, blah, blah, blah, right?
And they're different from say members in California or out in
the East or South, whatever, right?
So I'm going to share a thing and I want you to kind of
compare and see if it is similar, right?
So when I was in high school andand I'm about 25 S just a few
years older, but when I was in high school, it was having a

(06:26):
serious relationship in high school was one of those things
that that was kind of like on the fence, like, oh, they chose
to have a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school.
OK. That's kind of interesting, you
know, because, you know, I feel like at least for me growing up,
the emphasis was always date forfun when you're in high school
kind of thing, and don't have a serious relationship until you,

(06:47):
you know, go on your mission andthen come back and all that
stuff, right? So what was that like for you?
And was it a similar kind of thing growing up in Utah or was
it like pretty common to be in arelationship?
And you know, how was that? Yeah, I think everyone kind of
wants a relationship. It's fun.
Obviously it's fun to have, in my case, a girlfriend to be with
all the time and what not. But I do feel like there is this

(07:11):
thing of, well, us LDS 1718 yearolds are trying to prepare on
missions and we don't want to bedistracted, make a mistake that
would prevent us from serving orjust, you know, prolong maybe
our time on leaving. And so I feel like, yeah, that
is kind of this thing that's I would say some people look down
upon it. Some people just kind of are

(07:32):
iffy about it about, yeah, getting into a serious
relationship because of the risks of it and just kind of it
can be taxing on your mind if you're on a mission, you have a
girlfriend behind. But I do feel like I saw a lot
of people in relationships, and I was actually shocked to come
home and see how many people then married their high school
sweetheart. I feel like it was a lot more

(07:53):
than I expected at my high school at least.
But yeah, I guess to answer yourquestion, I feel like it was
almost not looked down upon, butkind of like, oh, you're getting
in a serious relationship beforeyour mission.
You should probably, you know, double check if you really want
to do that. OK.
So it didn't seem to have like more of a tone of caution like
OK, this person did this. Most people are kind of like

(08:16):
concerned ish or kind of like I don't know about that, but
hopefully everything turns out OK kind of thing sounds like.
Yeah, because people kind of suggested just date for fun, get
to know what kind of girls you want to date.
But then once you had a serious girlfriend, it was like, OK,
like, have fun, but you know, becareful.
Yeah, type deal. OK, OK, gotcha.

(08:36):
So how was it transitioning fromhigh school to now being in
college? Has has dating felt different
now that, you know, there's thatkind of thing is something that
is kind of on the table or, you know, like, what was that like,
at least for you? Yeah, I think one of the biggest
things for me was in high school, I knew I was going to be

(08:58):
serving an LDS mission. So I anytime I met a girl, I
didn't have marriage in my mind at all because I knew I had two
years before that. But then transitioning, coming
home, I had this idea in my headthat any girl I meet could end
up being my wife. Like, obviously I'm only going
to have one wife, but you never know who it could end up being.
Like, I could run into someone at the store who I think is a

(09:19):
cute girl, talk to her, and thenwho knows what that could turn
into. And so I think, yeah, it
definitely changed my perspective on any girl I go on
a date with could eventually turn into my wife.
And so I think you take things more seriously or just look for
things more red flags per SE on like, yeah, well, I don't want
to waste time. And I think everyone has their
own phase of wanting to just date around, have fun, get to

(09:42):
know different things. But yeah, I think just the
perspective of any girl I go outwith could maybe be my wife.
I don't want to make sure that Irespect this and take it
seriously so that I can feel what I need to feel.
Yeah, OK, interesting, interesting.
So question. So based on what you've
experienced, and I mean, also you run an Instagram account,
you know, you get DMS, you get comments, you know, so you kind

(10:02):
of like, you know, have a feel of the pulse of kind of what's
going on in Utah County a littlebit, right?
And I mean, you have friends, you know, so you've heard
stories, right? I feel like I hear two different
accounts of this kind of phenomenon, right.
On one hand, I often hear there's too much pressure in
dating in Utah County because it's always like, oh, it could
be my spouse. It could be my spouse.
But then I also hear from otherssaying people aren't taking it

(10:23):
seriously enough and you know, no one is ready to commit and no
one is committing, right? Do you kind of align with one of
those camps in terms of your experience and what you hear or
like? What are your thoughts there?
Yeah, I feel like sometimes it'sit's hard because there's times
I've been in a mindset where, OK, I feel like I'm comfortable
enough in a good spot where I amwanting to get married.

(10:47):
And then I come across a girl who just kind of wants to have
fun and mess around. And then it's kind of
frustrating for me. If you start to like this girl
and then that's like she doesn'tcare to get married, she just
wants to have fun or vice versa.I've met girls who are very
interested in getting married, but I'm not in a mindset of I'm
ready for marriage yet. And so I definitely think
there's the side that just kind of wants to have fun and the

(11:08):
side that's like spouse hunting per SE.
And it's, I feel bad for, I mean, both sides of someone find
someone that they're interested in.
And then the girls like, or the guys like, I don't know.
I'm not really looking for a relationship, just kind of
trying to meet people. That's can be frustrating, but I
definitely think there's two sides to it.
Sure, sure. It's more of like a like a
mismatch. And I imagine people too will be

(11:30):
more prone to kind of criticize the opposite, I suppose, right.
Like if, if I was like I'm readyto get married, I think I'd be
more sensitive to people I date who were the opposite, who were
like, no, I'm just, you know, here for fun, you know.
So I'm sure it depends also on their perspective and their
experience too. What do you think?
Here's the statistic I'm going to throw you now.
We're going to dive into the stats a little bit.

(11:51):
So in terms of dates per month, right, because I feel like
there's a lot of just casual dates that that go on,
especially here in, you know, inUtah, right?
How many dates do you think is the average that both men and
women go on per month? I would based on some of the
people I know and seeing their experience, I would guess two to

(12:13):
four dates per month. Yeah, you're right on. 2.4 is
the average and two is the median.
So yeah, you're right on. So like 1 like every other week.
You know what? I'm in.
OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What do you think? Here's my next question too, is
one thing that I hear a lot because a lot of people go on
dates. And actually I'll step back a

(12:33):
little bit, I compared to see ifmen or women go on more dates,
right? Because we kind of have this
dynamic where men are men are generally the ones who ask girls
on dates, right? And so, you know, are women
getting asked out a lot or are more men going on dates, right?
And what at least I found in in this data was, and this is a
sample of about 900 students ishin Provo ish.

(12:56):
And men generally go on more dates average than women, and
that's because there is a segment of women who go on zero
dates per month compared to men.So.
And I would rephrase that and say that more women don't go on
dates than men because. And I mean, I suspect that is
because men are the ones who kind of have that, you know,

(13:18):
power or more control, right? You know, I mean, women can, you
know, very much ask, ask men on dates, right.
But it's just not as socially kind of the norm, you know what
I mean? But yeah, I just thought that
was interesting, you know? Yeah, That was interesting.
Yeah. What do you think?
Because I, I have also heard this thought that, OK, I have a
hard time knowing if a girl is interested in in me because she

(13:40):
said yesterday the date, but I don't know if she's just being
nice and accepting the date because that's what you do or if
she actually likes me, Right. So I asked women and I said,
hey, do you accept every day you're asked on just to be
polite and then they can choose from strongly agree to strongly
disagree. So what percentage of women do
you think either agree or strongly agree that they accept

(14:01):
every day, every first date they're asked on just to be
polite? Oof, that's hard.
I would think it'd be more than less, like over 50%.
Yep, you're right, really Yep, 60% about S 60% say yes, at
least just to be nice. I mean, they might also still
like you right, But it sorry, I,I will rephrase that.

(14:23):
It does seem like there is this kind of feeling of I'm just
saying yes to be polite, but I mean like that.
That does not also mean that shedoesn't like you, know what I
mean? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, what, how do you kind of
gauge, I guess because that is athing that we, that we have some
stats on too. Like, I feel like one thing that

(14:45):
I hear from women is guys don't catch my clues or my signals
that I am interested in, right? And for men, I hear women please
just tell me because I have no idea of what you're thinking or
what you're feeling. And I can't tell what you know.
So like, as a man, you know, youknow, what has that kind of been
like for you? Yeah, I feel like everyone fears

(15:05):
the awkward talk or comment of I'm just not interested or we
don't click. And I feel like that's a code
that I've feel like I've crackedsometimes, but also have no clue
if I've cracked of knowing if a girl is actually interested or
not. Because they they'll flirt with
you, they'll make comments, you'll have fun on the date and
you think you're in and then allof a sudden you can't seem to
ever get a hold of them again oror what it might be.

(15:28):
But I think I think every guy and every girl would appreciate
someone being straight up. And I also think it depends on
how well you know the person. If it's been 1 date with them, I
don't think the person has to besuper like, oh, I don't know if
I like you, I don't know if thisis going to work because it's
been one day. But I think it is very
respectful. If someone has gone out two or

(15:50):
three times and you are not interested to just be upfront
with them. Obviously it's kind of each
situation is going to be different.
So the way it's the conversationhappens, it's going to be
different. But I think just being honest is
not only like the nice thing to do, but just the mature thing to
do. But being able to pick on, pick
up on things. I mean, I feel like if a girl

(16:10):
starts to text me less or doesn't text me at all, I feel
like that's just a sign to me that they might not be
interested. OK, I don't know.
One of the big lessons I learnedon my mission is if someone's
not putting in the same amount of effort as I'm putting in,
that is not worth keeping that person around.
Like these people we would teachwho we pour everything into and
they would just seems to not care.

(16:32):
I feel like that reflects into life as well.
Like if I'm putting a lot of effort into texting a girl back
or trying to come up with creative dates and I just feel
like the effort's not being reflected, then I don't.
I kind of take that as a sign. OK, maybe she's not as
interested or I'm also I feel like some people don't love it,
but I feel like I'm also very upfront.

(16:54):
Just me too, brother. Yeah, yeah, I think.
I feel like some people are scared to ask questions
sometimes, but I'm also scared of wasting time and what not.
And so I mean, if it's the firstday, I don't want to be super
upfront and be and be like, oh, do you like me or not?
But if you can going out with them, I, I don't see anything
wrong on the guy's perspective of just being like, Hey, I like

(17:16):
you. But if you're not feeling it,
that's totally cool. Just like let me know so I don't
waste your time or my time. But it is kind of hard to gauge
if a girl's interested or not. So I feel like communication
just as a whole in dating needs to be used a lot more.
So true, so true. You know, I'm curious because
because you brought up, you know, that you learned on your
mission that there comes a pointwhen you just need to kind of

(17:38):
move on and start putting your attention into people who will
kind of give back and receive you right.
And so I'm curious how many people, and I don't have stats
on this. I'm just, you know, kind of, you
know, pondering, right? I'm curious how many people have
a mindset of well, if I, you know, keep trying hard enough
and I'm kind and sincere and I do all these things, then

(18:01):
eventually the person that I'm currently interested in will
will eventually realize, you know what, this guy or this girl
is great and and I should changemy you know, my mind and heart
about them, right? Versus how many are, you know,
treated like like a sales operation, almost like like,
hey, are you interested? Nope, K moving on Boom, boom.
But you know, and so I'm curious, you know, because and I

(18:23):
heard, I mean, personally, I feel like I took a near
mechanistic approach to dating when I was in college because I
was like you, I think almost wasreally impatient.
And so if I didn't know how a girl felt, I was like, well, I
mean, I don't want to wait a week.
I'm just going to ask you right now, you know what I mean?
So I feel like, and I think he kind of did this, you know, to
some, you know, I think after the first date, usually I was

(18:44):
like, hey, here's how I feel. Not like a whole love letter,
you know, but but I mean, I mean, I'd say like, hey, I had a
good time. Are you interested in a second?
And if she was great and if not,then I pretty much just kind of
left her alone and just kind of moved on.
I don't know when, when you go on 1st dates, do you usually ask

(19:05):
like, hey, I'm interested in a second date.
Are you or kind of like, how do you go about that?
And how do you know when to moveon?
And how do you know when to kindof let go?
Yeah, I think one thing I appreciate, I mean, I've seen a
girl do this with me. We went on a very quick first
date because it was finals, and before I even got home, she'd
already texted Being like, I hada lot of fun with you.

(19:25):
I loved your perspective on this, this and this.
I would definitely be interestedin going out again, but if
you're not, I understand. I was like, I respect that a
lot, like. Those are the best texts ever.
Yeah, exactly. Like as a dude, it's like nice
to get any kind of text from a girl that's flirty, but yeah.
You know for sure. It's just like nice to see that
it wasn't pushy. It didn't feel desperate on her

(19:46):
end either. It was just like, I'm interested
if you are, let's definitely plan something again.
And so I think that's also just a confidence thing.
If she hadn't sent that text, well, how what was I going to
do? Like, oh, am I going to texture
and be like, I think you're really cute.
I had a lot of fun. I'd love to see you again.
So I think just having confidence after the first day,
I don't see anything wrong with being like, I had a lot of fun.

(20:08):
I'd love to go out again. What are your thoughts?
I think some people can be overbearing.
I clicked with you super well. I had so much fun.
I really think we're, you know, I think we get along super well.
I don't know, like there's different wording of course, but
I've seen some people just go all lovey dovey right off the
bat because they had such a goodtime and then they kind of
scared the other person. They're like, wow, what the

(20:29):
heck? Yeah.
Yeah. So I think it's good to have
confidence, but also like, give them an out.
Don't make them feel like pressure to say yes because like
that once that you shared, sometimes girls feel pressure to
say yes. And so I think there's also
nothing wrong with being like, if you're not feeling it, no
worries, you're not gonna hurt my feelings.
But even that also has to be watched because it might come

(20:50):
off of as like 0 confidence, like, oh, if you're not
interested, I understand. Like if you don't have fun, if
I'm not cool enough, I think girls are going to be like, is
this guy OK? You know?
So I think it's just Long story short, I guess I think it's good
to if it's the first, second, third day, just always kind of
communicate how you're feeling to the girl.
Make sure she knows that she's appreciated by you, that she

(21:10):
knows that you know, you might be interested.
But I also don't feel like you have to rush into that either.
If the vibes were good on the first date and you don't have a
reason to doubt, I think it's good to just like just talk
about it casually, like, when amI going to see you again next?
But if there's doubts about like, oh, is she interested or
not? I think it's it's smart to just
be like, I'd love to go out, butif you don't, I totally

(21:31):
understand. Yeah, so true, so true.
The worst you can say is no, right?
Well, I've heard debate about that actually, because I don't
know. I see a few like, you know,
memes or screenshots on Instagram, whatever, where it'll
say the worst you can say is no.And then there's this absolutely
horrific text message that's like, wow, that's even worse
than no, you know what I mean? So but I don't know about you,

(21:53):
but I feel like I've never gotten anything worse than no in
Provo before. No, same.
Yeah. Yeah.
Unless you did something to makeher say something worse than no,
I feel like you're not going to hear much worse.
But. Yeah, that's true.
That's true. I was curious and and I'm going
to ask your thoughts on this because when I was making one of

(22:13):
these surveys, I was curious about why people go to their
people. And so I so, so I asked and, and
I want to go through a few of these because I think that
they're relevant to this conversation.
So we're going to filtered by women.
And so we are just looking at women who live in in the kind of
Provo area here right now, right.
So we asked them to select all the situations in which they

(22:36):
generally will tend to ghost guys, right?
And because it's hard to aggregate for your response
data, we gave them a few optionsand they could choose from
those, right? So the options were one, they
were worried that the other person was going to respond
aggressively. 2, they, they didn't know what to say.
They lost romantic interest, they wanted to avoid an

(22:58):
uncomfortable conversation, or they genuinely forgot to
respond. Which one do you think is the
most common situation that most women agree that that they will
tend to ghost people among those.
I think it's they're worried about an aggressive text back or
like might be the guy might makethem uncomfortable.

(23:19):
Is it? Was that one of the options?
Yes, it was. OK, just like I think just the
uncomfort where they feel like they don't need to give a reason
on why to stop talking, but theyjust don't feel safe or they
feel uncomfortable or they feel threatened.
And so at least I feel like thatwould, because there are a lot
of crazy dating stories I have heard that would make me think

(23:40):
that that might be the top. Yeah.
So it is a large number, but it's not the highest actually,
which was surprising to me. So about 43% of of women say
that they will ghost people in those situations.
And then about 50% will ghost them if the conversation is
uncomfortable and they don't want to have that right.

(24:00):
But the number one option was that they just genuinely forget
to respond. About 80% of women say that they
just usually forget to respond to messages sometimes.
And at first I saw that and I was like, that's a terrible
excuse. Are you kidding me?
But then I started to think and I realized every time that that
I had talked to some of my, you know, girlfriends about, you

(24:24):
know, their use on dating apps, they get so many matches.
Have you ever seen like a girl'smutual profile?
Like it's like, you have like 7000 thousand likes and they're
like, oh, you know, no one, you know, whatever.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, what? I would kill to have that many
likes. You know what I mean?
I don't know about you but but like, have you noticed that at
all? Oh yeah, like I think girls get

(24:45):
way more likes or way more guys added them on social media
sliding into DMS that yeah, it would make sense that either
they forget about a text or could just get lost.
Cause I have seen some girls phones before and they have 30
unopened snapchats or yeah right, just the unread text.
So that that does make sense. How does that make you feel

(25:06):
when, say, you're with a girl and you might be interested in
her and you see all these unreadmessages and you're like, Oh my
gosh, am I competing against like 20 other dudes right now?
Like, is that ever a thought in your mind?
And like, how do you manage thatkind of discomfort?
If you feel that, you know what I mean.
I definitely think it's intimidating sometimes, like I
am confident in my own abilitiesor like who I am.
But I've been on a date with a girl and we're sitting there and

(25:27):
her phone's like face up on the table and I saw at least 15
Snapchats come in throughout thewhole dinner.
And I'm like, Oh my goodness, I have a, a lot of competition.
And B, what is her intentions maybe On this date?
Is she looking for a date or is this just another guy to add to
the roster? And so I do think it's, it can
be intimidating, but also if shelikes you, then she'll put the

(25:51):
time towards you. And if she doesn't put the time
towards you, then I kind of takethat as a sign to move on or,
you know, not give it too much effort.
True, true. I want to touch on two things
there 1 you mentioned like what are her motives, right?
I so I also surveyed girls in Utah and I asked how often do
you just go on dates just for the free food, right?
Because I feel like I've heard that and I was like, that's an

(26:14):
interesting rumor. I'm curious if that is true.
Right. So what percentage of women?
This is out of a sample, by the way, of about 300 single women.
OK, what? What percentage of them either
agree or strongly agree that sometimes they just go on dates
just for the free food? I mean, I would hope it's low,
but I'm going to guess under 40%.
Yeah, Yeah. I'll be right on.

(26:35):
It's about 34%, OK. Yeah.
So, yeah, so it's about 1/3 of women.
And again, it's sometimes, right.
So this isn't to say that all, you know, 1/3 of women are just
out for free food, right? But sometimes, you know, I mean,
like, I mean, I don't know if you were a girl and you're like,
man, I really don't want don't do not want to cook on this

(26:58):
weekend. You know, it's Friday.
I don't want to cook. Maybe I'll just help on mutual
do some swiping and find a guy to Take Me Out tonight.
You know what I mean? I feel like that'd be tempting
if I was a girl. I don't know about you.
Oh. Yeah, I mean, I do that with YSA
activities. If I don't want to cook and I
know there's going to be pizza, whatever it might be, I'll show
up for the food. I mean, not that that's the only
reason I'm there, but I feel like if I was a girl that would
definitely be a tempting reason to go out is for some free food

(27:22):
or free Top Golf or whatever it might be.
Yeah, so true, so true. The second thing that you
mentioned was the girls get tonsof matches, right.
I think way more than men. I think that is pretty
objectively true. I think every instance when when
I've compared mine or a friend'sdating app back in college to,
you know, a girls, the men always have way less than the

(27:42):
girls, right. So start waiting to say the
right, the the guys have way less than the girls, like
always, right? And I was curious about this and
here's my hunch. And and I want to ask you about
your perspective on this. I feel like men generally have a
low filter upfront on dating apps where they just say, is she
attractive? All right, sure, why not swipe?
Whereas women, I feel like look more into, OK, what kind of guy

(28:05):
is he? Is he going to, you know, take
me on cool dates, you know, likewhat is values?
And I feel like women apply a stronger filter upfront, whereas
women whereas men apply a like like a smaller filter that that
is just based off a physical attractiveness early.
What do you think? I don't know.
Yeah, I I definitely could see that.

(28:26):
I think I'm guilty sometimes as being like, Oh yeah, she's hot.
I'll swipe. And not like there's times I
went to like swiped on like 5 different curls and I'm like oh
I didn't even look at how tall they were, what their religious
status was, where they even liveif they like are they even in?
Yeah, yeah. A 10 mile radius and so I
definitely think yeah, guys are a lot more just yeah, she's
cute. I'll get to know her later.

(28:47):
Like I'll just swipe and becauseI think they are they do get
less matches. They are more willing to just
swipe on girls without really looking into it.
But yeah, we're girls just get alot more swipes and likes on
them. I think that they are a little
more picky on who they say yes to and yeah, just they might
look more deeply into the profile.
When it was interesting, I made,I purposely made a bad profile

(29:10):
on mutual and went around to girls on campus and said, hey,
can you rate this for me? And it was kind of shocking to
see how in depth they looked at every little thing from the
interest to how tall I was to which languages I spoke because
I made-up all of it. I said I was 64, spoke Korean,
had every interest possible. And yeah, like they dissected my
profile and gave me every feedback possible.

(29:32):
So I think you're right. Girls really dissect it more
than guys do. And guys are more, Oh yeah, it's
just cute. Also I type of deal.
Man, that is so funny. I actually, so it reminds me of
an experience I had. I went on a date with a girl one
time who had matched with on mutual when I was in college.
And as a part of our date that we had planned beforehand, we
were actually going to kind of review each other's dating

(29:53):
profiles. So we're kind of like, Hey,
what, what do you think of mine?What do you think of mine?
Right. A little weird, but like it was,
it was actually kind of cool andinsightful to like see, you
know, exactly, exactly what you said, you know, how much they,
you know, dig into it, right. And so, and, and I asked her, I
said, Hey, swipe a bit for me. I mean, like, I mean, I want to
see what, what adjusts your decision or what influences your

(30:17):
swiping decision, right? Because again, I feel like men
mostly make their decision basedon the pictures, right?
And, and actually, I, I, I have a stat about that.
And so I'm going to quiz you again.
I asked about again, about 250 men, single men.
And I said, hey, on dating apps,do you make the swiping decision

(30:37):
mostly based on pictures? What percentage of them do you
think agree or strongly agree that they make their swiping
decision mostly based on pictures?
I would think 60 to 70%. You're right on 62%, yeah.
Oh, wow, that's right. That's right.
And so, so women though it, it, it's a little bit, it's a little
bit different, right. So I'm going to share some of

(30:59):
these and, and I want your thoughts on this because so when
I was on that date with that girl, one thing she mentioned
was that she would automaticallyswipe down on men if they had a
fish in there, you know, in there by when I was like, why?
And, and, and I thought, man, doyou just hate fish?
Do you hate fishing? Wow, that's so, so judgmental of

(31:21):
you, right? You know, but but then as I
talked with her more, I realizedthat it was more about what that
means about the person and what connotation that had about that
man, right? And so I asked and, and I took a
lot of these things that I had heard were, you know,
stereotypical auto swipe downs, right?

(31:42):
And I asked women, hey, you know, do you automatically swipe
down when you see this or no, Right.
So what do you think is the number one thing that women will
swipe down on? Like what's the most automatic
rejection? As far as pictures go.
Just as far as whole profiles. Whole profile.
Yeah, so I see a guy, they go through it.

(32:03):
What is the what I guess is the biggest indicator for them?
I'm going to guess the height. Yep, you're right on.
Really. See, 1% of women say that they
will swipe down automatically ifthe man is shorter than her.
Dang, you hate to see it. Hate to say it, I mean, I kind
of get it though. But I mean, and I'm not going to

(32:23):
bring up the whole conversation of if women can filter by
height, then men should be able to use weight, you know,
whatever mean, you know, right. Because I feel like it's a
little different, you know what I mean?
But like, but like, you know, asas a man who is 5 foot 5, you
know what I mean? I am the average height of most
women, right? So 50% of women are taller than

(32:44):
me, right? So when I kind of, you know, was
learning about this, I was like,OK, so 50% of women, if not more
are are automatically swiping down on me because of my height,
you know what I mean? And so I don't know, at least
for me, I was like, man, well, that kind of sucks.
And I think I did have some moments where where I was like,
oh man, life's so hard for me asa short guy, man, you know, I'm

(33:07):
so I'm so underprivileged, you know what I mean?
But then I don't know. I mean, I feel like I just kind
of moved on. I was like, well, I guess I'm
just going to make my filter girls who were really short.
So, you know, because they won'tcare, right?
You know what I mean? So, but I don't know actually.
So question actually, how tall are you, Connor?
I am 511. OK, OK.
Do you put that you were 6 foot or are you honest and say 511?

(33:30):
No, I've always been honest about 511 cuz OK, OK, I think I
don't want to go early to like find out and call me out that
I'm not 6 foot but I wish I could stay 6 foot but.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I'm going to actually
pivot because I also asked men. I mean, I asked women, what is
your minimum height requirement for men, right.
What do you think the the averages, right?

(33:52):
So some women will say like 063,some say 65, you know, whatever,
right? But what do you think is the
average minimum height requirement that women have for
men? I did a little survey once, kind
of, but. It was.
It was a. Little different.
It wasn't a survey, it was just a question on a form and the
most common answer was 510 to 6 foot.

(34:13):
So that's going to be my guess. Yeah, yeah.
It's like pretty much right on 5foot 9 is the median and then 5
foot 10 was the mean or the average, right?
So yeah, like right on based on at least this sample is a 450

(34:35):
women and only 15% said that that they require their man to
be 6 foot or taller, which I feel like was surprising.
I was like, really? Because I thought that it was
like half of women were like, Nope, 6 feet or nothing, you
know what I mean? Thing.
I don't know. I'd be curious to know how tall
those girls are because I've I've found that I feel like the

(34:58):
shorter the girl is the more they want a tall guy and the
taller girl is the more they don't care as much about the
height. At least I'm, I'm not sure if
that's how it is for everyone, but a lot of the girls that I
have gone on dates with, the shorter they are, they've like,
oh I'm glad you're 511 or I lovegoing out.
Guys who are over 6 feet tall. But sometimes taller girls know
that they're taller and know that some guys don't like

(35:20):
taller. Really, they accepted more.
Yeah, they're accepted more thannot as picky about it.
OK, Yeah, interesting. So I have a metric that's kind
of like that. So essentially I asked their
height and then I took their minimum height requirement and
then I found the difference between that and so essentially
I found. So I guess that this was
rephrased into a question. It would be how much taller does

(35:41):
a man have to be than you, right.
So on average, women usually require a man to be 2.7 to 3
inches taller than them. Like on average, which thing
makes sense? And it's kind of comforting, I
feel like, because because if you're like, you know, 5-7, it's
like, OK, well, that's about 3 inches, you know, So like 5-4.

(36:02):
OK, So like, you know, there's alot of people who are, you know,
around that, right? But I'm curious too, if I can
ask, I'm going to sorry. I'm going to do a quick stat
that I hadn't prepared yet because because I'm curious
about that theory of yours. If shorter women are are more
picky than taller women, kind ofright where they're more

(36:23):
sensitive, I guess. So let me give me a second of
background work to to do this. Now.
What the heck? We had someone who trolled the
survey and put in that the minimum height requirement is
like 700 inches. That's funny.
OK, I'm going to filter that out.
I guess that's bad. OK, let's see here.
OK, so interesting. So, so, so in terms of just base

(36:44):
minimum height requirement, women who are taller actually
usually have a higher requirement.
And so like if a woman is 6 foot, then then she is likely to
have a height requirement of around 6 foot or or thereabouts.
I guess it seems like. Interesting.
OK, yeah. Which which?
Which makes sense, I think, because like, huh?

(37:05):
I think if I was a girl 6 foot, I would definitely want a guy
over 6 foot. Yeah.
I feel like girls I've met who are 5/8 to 5/11 are usually a
little bit more like oh they canbe my same height.
But most girls I know who are 6 foot a little bit more they
their husbands are or boyfriendsare always like 6566.
OK, Huh. OK.

(37:25):
As of me being 511, I would be alittle bit intimidated going
out. The girl who's 6 feet tall, Oh
yeah. So I feel like that's also might
be a a thing. Maybe most guys are intimidated
by girls who are in the six footrange.
We're taller. Yeah.
I mean like so so I am very far away from six foot, but I feel
like growing up to growing up, Ifeel like I generally preferred

(37:46):
women who were about my height. I feel like.
But then and so it was actually surprising to my mom when I got
married because my wife is is somy wife is 5 foot 0.
So and, and I, I had, you know, pretty much never liked a girl
who was that short. And so but then I met her and I
was like, oh, actually this is great.

(38:06):
You know, I love this, this is awesome.
So I mean, so it's kind of kind of a kind of a surprise because
historically I, you know, I hadn't, you know, been super
interested in shorter girls, butI want to transition and talk
because because we mentioned andalluded to this idea of
automatic swipe downs, right? So height obviously was the

(38:26):
number one for women, right? So I want to to bring up a few
more and just kind of go throughthem and get your thoughts on
them. OK.
And I won't quiz you this time. I'll just read them off that.
So 59% say that they will swipe down automatically if he is not
active in the church. 55% will swipe down automatically if they

(38:47):
have a strong type of political statement in their bio. 54% will
swipe down if he looks like a gamer and then 53% will swipe
down if he has a gun picture andthen about 34% will swipe down
for a fishing picture. I was curious too about these so
I asked how they felt about likemen who have mustaches and they

(39:13):
also asked about how they feel about men who have shirtless
pictures in their bio. Right.
So about again, about 34% will swipe down automatically on a
shirtless picture, and about 30%will swipe down automatically on
men who have mustaches automatically.
Interesting. What's interesting though is I
feel like I had heard a lot of men say that I didn't serve a

(39:35):
mission, so no woman's going to date me, right?
Only 30% of women will swipe down automatically if he's not a
return missionary. Interesting.
So what do you think about those?
Like what stands out to you? And you know, what's your
thoughts or any experience like,you know, like, I mean, are you
a fish guy or you, are you a gunguy?
You know I'm just kidding. It's funny, when I did that fake
profile I purposely put in a fishing picture to try and rage

(39:58):
bait or see what the girls wouldsay and every time that I Yep
another fishing picture. Another fishing picture.
Yeah, they saw. Yeah.
I don't quite understand what's so wrong about fishing because I
see it in girls profiles too andI'm like oh cool she'll go
fishing with me instead of like 2 fishes.
But the the politics one and thereligious status 1 makes sense.

(40:20):
I feel like if the girl is not LDS I'm a lot less likely.
Not as a, not because I'm judging her, but I have my own
goals as far as how I want to get married.
And so if they're not LDS, that's going to be hard for me
to achieve those goals. And then political, I am
probably a little too opinionated and very far on my

(40:41):
own political stance. And so I think if they were the
opposite of that, yeah, it'd be probably automatic swipe down
for me. Depends on the.
Same side though. Then what do you think?
All right, like, let's go. You know, like.
Yeah, I definitely think it's more of an attractive thing if
they're very much as political as I am and same opinions.
OK, I gotcha. But it is interesting.

(41:02):
I have, I mean, I don't want to like share too much of my own
political views, but yeah, you're good.
I did. I did put a picture of Donald
Trump on my profile and I was shocked about how many girls
swiped up specifically commenting on him like, oh, you
like Trump that's so hot. Or oh, you're you're Republican,
that's so attractive to me or like stuff like that.
I'm like, I had more girls comment on my Trump picture than

(41:23):
my own individual pictures, which I thought was very
interesting. I mean it also, I had girls
respond and say, I can't believeyou like Trump.
I can't believe you're conservative.
And so it's an easier way to filter it out.
But it was interesting to me howmany girls would think it as
attractive that I would be. Interesting.
Yeah. So they especially found it like
attractive and, and it wasn't even like, I'm worried he's

(41:44):
going to be too intense either way.
It was like, oh, actually I, I kind of aligned with that and
I'm glad that he is kind of on the same wavelength as me.
Is that is that accurate? Yeah, OK, Same wavelength.
And then, I don't know, maybe they thought it was funny that I
put Trump in there or what, But for.
Yeah, for some reason that got alot of responses on its own.

(42:05):
Interesting, Interesting. So was it just like like your
bio, you you and then just Trumpand then you, you again or like,
yeah, it was just. I mean, like my, my profile said
like conservative on it. But yeah, yeah.
Then yeah, just randomly had a picture of Trump with a thumbs
up. And it wasn't, it was kind of

(42:26):
random in there, but just kind of like because I didn't have
any other pictures of myself. So I'm like, well, let me just
put a picture of my president inthere, I guess.
Yeah. Interesting, interesting.
So, so I'm going to flip it and we're going to talk about why
men would automatically swipe down.
Now, I feel like we discussed that men are generally less
picky in terms of being like, well, I don't get a lot of
matches anyways. So I mean, it doesn't hurt to

(42:47):
just swipe on. I mean, everyone I think is
attractive, right? You know, but there are some
things that some men do indicatethey'll automatically swipe down
on, right? So I'm going to kind of go
through these and then I want your thoughts and be like, hey,
you know, do you do this or do you have friends, you know, who,
who have expressed these kinds of ideas?
Actually it was it was pretty similar height was was a big

(43:08):
one. 40% of men will automatically swipe down if she
is taller than him. 52% will swipe down automatically if she
is not active in the church. 54%if they also have a strong
statement about politics. And then 56%, which was the
highest will swipe down if she looks too high maintenance.
And then a few others. I asked because I had heard

(43:30):
some, some stigma around things like modesty and if girls have a
picture of them in like a swimsuit or a bikini, right?
You know their profile, right? And so I asked that and about
1/5 or about 22% of men will swipe down automatically if she
has a picture of her in a bikiniin in her profile then.

(43:51):
And then the last one a a small amount, but about 18.5% will
swap down automatically if he thinks that she's too out of his
league. So what are your thoughts on
just kind of these? What kind of, you know, sticks
out to you? Is it true?
Is this is this bogus or like, you know, like, what's that?
Yeah. I definitely I'd agree with
those. The high maintenance one, I've
definitely dated my fair share of high maintenance girls.

(44:14):
And so I feel like you can kind of tell certain things about
them and it's like they're high maintenance.
But you can also tell that the ones that are usually high
maintenance are also the ones that are so worried about their
social media presence and makingsure everything looks perfect
before they leave the house, that they have their gym fit and
everything all set up before it.Like they're just more worried

(44:34):
about, yeah, your image. OK.
So question on that. So if I can interrupt, so so
like when you, so I feel like people will generally associate
high maintenance with being pretty conventionally
attractive, right? Do you feel like those who you
dated who were more high maintenance are more
conventionally attractive than those who are less high

(44:54):
maintenance than those who you've dated?
Like, like, like are they more like, like, you know, like most
guys would look like, oh wow, she's super attractive.
Or is it, you know, like like isthat inaccurate kind of
association in your experience or what are your thoughts?
I think it definitely can come off like that.
Like you look at these girls like, oh wow, this girl's
gorgeous. And then you learn how high
maintenance she is and then. Oh, that's why.

(45:15):
Yeah, And you kind of learn the reason she's so gorgeous is
because she's so maybe her hair is fake or there's other things
about her that isn't all the wayreal to try and fit this mod,
like this model of, oh, super attractiveness and those high
maintenance things kind of make them that.
That makes sense. Yeah.
I feel like these girls or like you see in movies like Shar Pei

(45:40):
from High School Musical, she's like the pretty girl in the
school and you can tell how highmaintenance she is.
And so, yeah, I feel like they kind of do run together and it's
can be harder to find someone that you're really attracted to.
But also isn't super high maintenance or super like their
social media presence is more important than you know you
dating them and what not. OK, So like how so your

(46:01):
experiences like what to you is too high maintenance?
Like what to you is like, hey, you know, like I appreciate that
you care about how you look and you put an effort.
But So what point does it, does it become too high maintenance
for you and become, you know like an issue for you
personally? I think when it starts, I think

(46:25):
if you're dating someone, they're your girlfriend or
whatnot and there what's the word?
Just like who they are or their presence becomes more important
than like building a connection with you.
That's when I can get too much. I've dated girls are like, yeah,
I don't want to get my hair wet,but I want to have fun.
So I'm OK getting in the pool and having fun or I other girls

(46:48):
are oh, I want to post this picture of you and I, but it
doesn't fit the aesthetic of my Instagram and so I won't post
pictures of us. That kind of when it starts to
feel like it's intruding on the relationship and shooting on
interesting this thing you guys are building, Then I feel like
it becomes too high maintenance.Because I definitely appreciate
someone who wants to look good, wants to take care of themself,

(47:10):
take care of their body physically, emotionally,
mentally. But if it if they're so revolved
around them instead of us, that's when I feel like it's
becomes too much for me. I see.
So, so it's less about like whatthey're doing and more about how
it actually affects your interaction and your
relationship with them. Is that right?
Yeah, OK. That's right.
OK, So like so you don't care ifthey dye their hair, you know

(47:31):
where they go and have their nails done, right.
But it's more of like, hey, you know, you won't post any
pictures of us because you valuethe aesthetic of your social
media over our relationship or like, hey, you know, we can't
go, go and do these activities because you're so preoccupied
with, you know, how you look andthat kind of thing.
Is that accurate? Yeah, I definitely think the

(47:51):
whole how much money they're spending on hair and nails and
energy drinks and all that kind of stuff can be a little high
maintenance. But I think that also kind of go
in line with what I said of likeif it warns you about how
they're spending their money, then that also is kind of going
to intrude on you guys, this relationship.
OK, so it's like a financial indicator too, like, well, OK,

(48:12):
well if it's still going to tellmarriage, how much money is she
going to want to spend on these things?
Kind of thing. Yeah, exactly.
Based on your experience, then you know with like having dated
women who are more high maintenance when you were
swiping or when you're meeting girls, right?
How do you generally respond to and what are you kind of more
attracted to, I guess initially?Yeah, I think there's this in

(48:36):
between that I'm more attracted to because I've dated girls
where you think at the beginningthat there might be high
maintenance or whatnot, but thenthe longer your date then they
like. There's one girl I was kind of
going out with a little while ago, a while ago that she kind
of stopped doing her hair, stopped like taking care of
herself because she was so low maintenance.
And not that I'm putting her down for that, but it's like, I

(48:56):
want you to still be able to because I feel bad that girls
feel they always have to have makeup on around guys.
If I'm dating someone and she's comfortable, I'd hope that she
wouldn't feel the need to alwayshave makeup on or whatever it
might be. So I do like I am attracted to
the height maintenance as far asthey take care of themselves.
They want to look pretty when they go out, so they get all

(49:18):
done up. But then also they're not scared
to put on a baggy hoodie, have their little messy and just
watch a movie or whatnot. Or if I'm dating them and
they're so worried about me seeing them sick or me seeing
them emotional because that's vulnerable or whatnot.
It's like you high maintenance as far as like, yeah, they take
care of themselves and they wantto look good.

(49:39):
They want to feel good is attractive to me.
But then also what's attractive to me is them being comfortable
enough to just show their true self, you know, no makeup, baggy
clothes or getting sweaty at thegym.
You know, just being able to live their lives and not be
exactly to, to be real and just be themselves.
Because I feel like you got to see both sides because I mean,

(49:59):
you're married. I'm sure you've seen your wife
at her worst state, but it also connects you to them even more,
what you love. So you start to love everything
about them. But if they're hiding all these
things because they're so high maintenance, you feel like you
can't get to know every. That's true.
That's true. I agree.
I I am with you on that. I want him to switch topics now
and talk about something that I feel like it is unique to kind

(50:23):
of Utah and it's the idea of a kiss count, right?
Because, because I feel like outside of Utah, it's body
count, right? Like, OK, how many people have
you slept with or whatever, right?
You know, but where that's not, you know, as common of a thing
here in Utah, I feel like I hearmore talk about kiss counts.
Is that something that is that you hear kind of a common
conversation or is that like notsuper common?
Like what's kind of, you know your thoughts on that?

(50:45):
Yeah, I feel like it comes up a lot like if it's a group of
guys, group of girls hanging outand getting to know each other,
somehow kiss count always gets brought up and everyone wants to
know who's kissed the most, people who's kissed the least,
or if you're on a date. I feel like how many people and
individuals kiss can kind of show their intentions or maybe
their history and whatnot. It was funny.

(51:06):
I made a video with Mutual whereI acted like a guy who didn't
care on a date and in it I askedlike oh what's your kiss count?
And in the comments there's a lot of people who weren't from
Utah who were like kiss count you.
What's that? People like people track that
and what not. So I think some people get
uncomfortable by the question, but I do feel like it is brought

(51:26):
up a lot in dating or just hanging out casually in groups.
What is the average kiss count among single men and women
living in Utah County and and I have the number here and it's of
a sample of about 934. I would say 15. 15 is the
average. Yeah.

(51:46):
So the average was about 7.40 really, and the median was about
3. What day?
Well, so let's break this down alittle bit because there are
like a lot of people who, who, who, who have kissed like a lot
of people, right? You know what I mean?
And so and so it drags up that average, right?
But based on this, about 22% of people still haven't had their

(52:08):
first kiss. Oh, really?
Yeah, so about 1/5 ish, right. So that kind of anchors things a
little bit too, you know what I mean?
And so what's the highest kiss count that you've heard of
someone having like personally? Like you talk to them and
they're cool. Yeah, I've kissed like X amount
of people. There's one friend I had who
said in one night he had kissed 100 girls at a party, and that
was in one night. So I he probably doesn't even

(52:30):
know his total, but I would say a triple digits or in high
school, I had a friend who had just had moved to Utah from I
think, I can't remember what state, but he had I think 150
girls he had kissed and we were juniors in high school.
Bro bro I don't even have 150 friends like how do you I.
Know I'm like, how do you kiss 150?
Girls. Yeah, right.
Yeah, right. Wow. 150.

(52:51):
Really. Yeah, it's crazy.
Wow, what kiss count is too highfor you?
I would say if they cuz I'm one who tries not to think too much
about the past. So it's like, oh, if they kiss a
bunch when they are a freshman, that's one thing.
But I would say if it's over 30 that I'm going to be curious
about oh, oh, above 30 or 40, especially about 50 maybe.

(53:14):
Oh, if you're kissing that many people, are you just kissing
people or what not? I, I mean, ultimately, whatever
their past is, I don't think about too much unless it's not
their past. If it's also their present,
they're living in a kind of a wild phase, then I have a lot
more questions. But if they have kissed more
than 30 people, I think that's when I start to just kind of

(53:37):
wonder about maybe more if it's more than just kissing or or
whatnot, if that makes sense. OK, Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
Do you think that men or women are generally more critical or
cognizant of kiss counts and dating?
I would think men are probably alittle more critical.
OK. But then I don't know because I
feel like when it comes to kissing someone, it's usually
the guy that initiates it. And so if a guy's kissed a lot

(54:00):
of girls, that means he's initiated a lot of times.
But if a girl has a higher kiss count, it could be a guy just
leaned in and kissed her. A guy came up at the party and
kissed her. And it can go both ways.
Girls can also make the first move.
But I think a lot of girls that I have met have said, well, I've
intentionally kissed this many, but I've kissed this many total
because guys have just leaned inwithout me.
Really. Yeah.

(54:21):
Really. That OK?
Huh. So how much have you heard that?
Like, how much of a thing do youthink that it is?
Like based on what you've heard that women are getting kissed
without their consent? I think it happens pretty often
because, I mean, it's hard to say because my friends and
roommates and whatnot are very very cautious about kissing a
girl because they don't want to make it like uncomfortable or

(54:43):
overstep. But a lot of girls I've gone on
dates with have shared stories as you talk and get to know each
other about, oh, like we were watching a movie and the guy
just started kissing me. Or we were in the car and he
asked and I said no, and he justkissed me anyways.
Really. So yeah, I think it's a lot more
common because I feel like being.
I mean, I don't want to toot my own horn.
I would like to think I'm more of a respectful guy.

(55:04):
I would think about it because Idon't just kiss a girl randomly.
Yeah. But then going out with girls,
you hear about it more and more,and I realized how often it
actually happens. OK, interesting.
What percentage of women do you think based on a sample of 300,
find it to be a turn off if someone that they are interested
in asks to kiss them instead of just going for it?

(55:27):
I would think I'm just going to guess.
It's actually quite low. Oh, really?
Only about 17% either agree or strongly agree that it is a turn
off if someone asks to kiss theminstead of just going for it.
That's a lot lower than I would thought.
Yeah, right. I feel like when I learned that
I heard people should be asking a lot more, you know what I

(55:47):
mean? Because it sounds like this,
this kind of happens a lot. Like, you know, guys either
misread the signals or they justdon't care.
And then they and then they go for it.
And then girls are like wow, this freaking sucks, You know
what I mean? Yeah, that makes sense.
I think there's definitely ways to ask to make it not a turn off
or to make it less awkward, because I've definitely been

(56:09):
Does she want to kiss? Does she not want to kiss?
And I feel like that's why I traditionally try to wait a date
or two to figure it out, wait for a comment to be made or a
hint or whatnot. But I feel like I also have had
times where I have found ways toask without directly asking
towards like, I don't know, kindof a flirty way to bring it up.
Yeah, I think there's definitelyways to bring it up that are

(56:31):
going to be awkward and kill themood.
But I also felt like a girl would appreciate a guy asking
instead of just going for it if the girl didn't want to kiss,
you know, for. Sure, for sure.
So what about you? But like one thing I started
doing when I was dating in college was I started asking
prior prior to the date I started asking what are your
expectations and boundaries for like your first and second date?

(56:53):
You know, like like what do you expect?
You know, because I've heard some people say that they expect
like like a goodbye hug or I mean, some people like have an
expectation of having a first kiss on the first date, you know
what I mean? So what are your expectations,
right. And I feel like women, you know,
found a lot of comfort when I, when I asked that.
And we're like, oh, oh, yeah, sweet.

(57:13):
OK, here are my boundaries. And then like, like it kind of
alleviated a lot of stress because then I didn't have to
guess. Did you want to hold hands or
just want to kiss or none of theabove.
You know what's, you know what Imean?
So I don't know. That for me was like super
effective. I don't know if you've ever done
that or, or like if you've heardlike stories of women or, you
know, guys who have kind of had that.
But for me at least, it was likesuper interesting to like try

(57:36):
out. Yeah, I I definitely think
that's should be practiced more,you know, because it shows a you
respect the girl and then like you said, it also relieves
stress in your own head. You don't have to overthink.
You can kind of enjoy more. I don't know if I've necessarily
done it before the date, but I think definitely on the date,
I've made comments like like if it if we're doing an activity

(57:57):
that might, some might hold hands, some might cuddle, I'll
like make some kind of a commentto make sure that they're
comfortable or kind of where they stand.
Because I don't know, the last thing I want to do is make a
girl comfortable or cross a badge.
Like you said, even if I feel when people hear boundaries,
they think of like sexual things, but boundaries could
even be they're not comfortable just being tired cuddling with,

(58:18):
yeah, cuddling or holding hands.And so I definitely think that's
smart to at least just bring up,have a conversation or even ask
them their own experience with dating.
And so then that kind of opens them up out of their shell, and
then you can kind of get an ideaof what they do and don't like.
Yeah, sure, sure. So I'll pause for a second and
give a brief plug. So we are kind of working
together on a survey about consent culture within Utah

(58:45):
County. So for those for those who are
listening, by the time you hear this, we are going to have a
survey that is going to be live that is going to try to capture
this experience of thoughts, thoughts and perspectives and
experiences with consent and, and also with some topics like
sexual assault means like that. And also just like some
questions on expectations on dates as well.

(59:09):
And it's especially geared towards women.
But we encourage, you know, everyone to take it because we
want to get kind of a clear picture and raise some awareness
for how we can improve the experience of people dating in
Utah and how we can remove a lotof these negative experiences.
So for those who are listening, the survey is now live and
please go take it because we want to see if we can improve

(59:29):
some some lives and some dating experiences.
Yeah, I feel like in regards to dating, working alongside mutual
and kind of connecting with someof the people who study
analytics or talk to different people within the app.
I think one of the biggest things is especially nowadays
where there being so many datingapps, people have a hard time
meeting individuals. Or you think about how your

(59:52):
parents met, how your grandparents met.
It wasn't on a dating app. And some people are almost
ashamed to be like, I just met on Hinge, I met on mutual and I
think people are afraid of dating apps, but then yet so
many people don't go to these inperson events to give you a
chance to meet people. So I'm curious like how many
people would? Vote.
It's about like how hard it is to meet someone or if they're

(01:00:13):
intimidated to go up and approach people or if they hate
dating apps because I think everyone has their own opinions
on dating apps, but I don't know.
My parents met at an institute dance.
Interesting, really. Because in order to meet a good
LDS individual back in the day you had, there was no social
media, there was no phones. You had to go to these institute
or church YSA activities to meetpeople who are also LDS.

(01:00:36):
But nowadays you can just hop onmutual or hop on Instagram and
find people who have the same standards.
And so I feel like going to these in person institute or YSA
activities, I have a harder timefinding people I'm interested
in. Yeah.
So I guess I don't know, I just have had, out of all the girls
I've dated, only one girl has not been from a dating app that

(01:00:56):
I've dated officially or steadily.
And so I'm just curious what stats would be on that?
I did ask men if they tend to ask people for their numbers
like a person if they're interested in them, right?
So what percentage of men do youthink generally ask people for
their numbers if they are kind of interested in them?
I would think it's probably pretty low about guys asking for

(01:01:20):
girls numbers it. It's actually around 57%.
Oh, really? But I think that there is a
nuance in this because 23.7% strongly agree, right?
And so I feel like these are theguys who are super confident and
are always like, Oh yeah, I'll just, you know, whatever, right?
And then another, you know, 33% said that they somewhat agree.
And so I'm curious how much of that is consistently.

(01:01:42):
I will always ask someone if I'minterested or if it's like, OK,
I'll do it if I'm really interested in them, you know
what I mean? Yeah, I think at least my
experience with it is, I think the more attractive I think they
are, the less likely I am to go and ask them for a number.
Like there's one girl at the gym.
I had seen him like four or fivedifferent times.
I'm like, all right, this is I want to ask her one of these
days. But every time I would see her,

(01:02:03):
I no joke, would see five different guys go up and ask for
her number. And I'm like, OK, well, I don't
want to just be one of those guys who goes up and asks her
because I'm just going to be added to the list.
Interesting. Yeah, so I feel like, yeah,
legit, like she was on the benchnext to me and I saw a guy after
guy come up and talk to her. And so it's a little

(01:02:24):
intimidating, hey, knowing how many guys are asking and then in
general, it's intimidating to ask for a girl.
Every guy is scared of rejection.
And so I feel like the few I have asked for numbers for, I've
never seen it go anywhere. And that adds to my intimidation
of asking for girls numbers. Yeah.
And so it's. Like in the past it didn't work,

(01:02:44):
so like I might as well just notdo it again because it probably
won't work out. Exactly, like I feel like if I
have, especially if I'm by myself, it's a lot more
intimidating if I have a friend there.
A wing man kind of thing. Yeah, exactly.
Wing man. Or if I am with a group of
friends and there's a group of girls, I feel like I'm a lot
more likely to go up and at least chat with them.
But OK, yeah, it's it's definitely not something that

(01:03:08):
I'm good at. Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah. I think, I think that I asked
for a girl's number at a stake dance in high school once.
And then I'm pretty sure she turned out to actually not even
be like a member of the church, which was fine.
It was just funny. I was like, oh, really?
Wow. Interesting, you know, And then
and then like I think that's about it, honestly, because I
feel like most of the people whoso I would ask on dates for
those who I already kind of knewand had their number for
something else, you know what I mean?

(01:03:29):
True. So like, yeah.
Yeah, I feel like I have found way more success on a dating app
or sliding into Adm or already have knowing them and then
reaching out. But just a cold approach.
Yeah, I feel like it's intimidating for people and it
happens. Well I feel like girls always
say, oh I don't get approached at the gym, but from a guy's

(01:03:51):
perspective they just assume every guy goes up to her.
They're used to getting hit on so it's going to be annoying for
them. Oh yeah, yeah.
So I was curious about this fromthe girls perspective, because
guys are scared, I think of being told no or scared of being
told yes. And then it and then it just not
working out of being awkward, right.
And so like, and so I asked women too, and this is a sample

(01:04:14):
of about 300. I, I said, if someone asked you
for your number, would you give it to them?
And this to me was crazy. But 90% either strongly agreed
or agreed that they would give it to them.
That's that's big numbers like, and pretty much the rest were
mostly neutral. Only one person said strongly

(01:04:34):
disagree. And and like a few other people
said somebody disagree. So like most women, it seems
like will at least be courteous and say, OK, yeah, you know,
here you go. Which which I guess to me was
surprising. But I, but I suppose if I was a
woman, I feel like I would feel pressure to say yes because if I
say no, then it's awkward. And I'm kind of scared that
they'll react poorly or that it'll just react, you know what

(01:04:54):
I mean? So it's just easier to say yes,
you know what I mean? It's easier to say yes and then
never text them, and then to sayno in front of them and your
friends and their friends. And yeah, that definitely makes
sense. Yeah, that makes sense.
So what percentage of women do you think are OK with kissing on
the first date? When I'm going to say like 30%?

(01:05:15):
Higher, actually. Really.
Yeah, the numbers actually around 50% either strongly agree
or somewhat agree. Interesting.
We had a, we had a decently sized neutral section.
But yeah, so here, I'll, I will break it down. 12% strongly
agreed that if it was a good date, then they're OK with

(01:05:35):
kissing on the first date. And then another 40% somewhat
agreed. So it sounds like it's really
just kind of based on the vibes that if it was actually a good
date, you know what I mean? Yeah, that makes sense.
I feel like my experience with it, I just know what kissing
does for me. I automatically get more
connected to the person. Yeah.
So I try myself to not kiss on the first date, but I've always

(01:05:57):
kind of said I'm not going to turn down a moment, but I'm also
not I. Won't say no, but I won't go for
it kind of thing, right? Yeah, I mean, if she's right in
front of my face, I might as well, but.
Yeah. I generally prefer not to kiss.
I actually did a similar. I did a put just a poll on
Instagram story before I pull upand I think it was 60% of people

(01:06:19):
would prefer not to and 40% saidyes, I like it.
Interesting. OK.
And the out of the people who said they like it, majority were
men and this is an Instagram poll.
So their name will be seen if they choose yes or no.
So they're a little bit less likely to vote.
Yeah, yeah. But I do think that sometimes, I

(01:06:39):
don't know, sometimes I felt pressure to kiss a girl.
I had a girl tell me once, if the guy doesn't kiss me on the
1st date, that's a sign he's notinterested.
And so, yeah. And so then from then I was
like, oh, so then I felt pressure to kiss a girl on the
first date. But then I mean, I've had other
girls say that they prefer guys not to because it shows that
they respect them. So it's kind of hard.

(01:07:00):
I feel like if you can kind of pick up on vibes and if the
vibes are there and you're both interested, I don't see anything
too wrong with it. I mean, like I said for myself,
I just know that what kissing does for myself, so I try not to
until I know I like them. But I mean, I've definitely had
my fair share of kisses on the first date for sure.
Yeah. But I do think it is interesting

(01:07:20):
how split it is with people who like it, people who don't like
it or that maybe type of vibe. Yeah, for sure, Sure.
So I actually asked women, what signals do you send when you're
on a date and want to kiss someone or want them to kiss
you? So, yeah, So let me go through
these and these I, I, I'm going to read them in order, but they

(01:07:43):
are close enough that they couldbe kind of interspace, you know
what I mean? So the number one signal was
that they will stay in closer proximity to you than like
average or what is normal, right?
So about 77% of women said that that they do this, right?

(01:08:04):
The next was make more eye contact.
About 75%, 70% say that they will they will adjust their body
position to face you more. And then about 68% said that
that that that the Liger at the end of the date, 58% said that
they will be the ones to to initiate some like flirty
touching, right? This was interesting.

(01:08:25):
Only about 20% said that they will mention or make jokes about
kissing if they're on a date andwant to kiss someone.
So it sounds like women generally are sending a lot more
subtle signals than I think men would prefer to receive.
So it's kind of like your thoughts on those?
And like, how do you kind of like, as a guy receive those?
Like, are you pretty attuned to those, do you think?

(01:08:48):
Or are you like, yeah, she'll have no idea?
And so I just kind of like hope and pray you know what a man or
like. I think I'm definitely guilty of
overthinking. I'm like, I don't know.
She's looking right in my eyes looking at my lips 2 inches
away. But I don't know if she wants to
still, you know? I feel like I definitely always
second guess it, but and I've had moments where I definitely
can and I can tell she wants to,but I still chicken out.

(01:09:09):
OK, But I, I would say I can. I feel like I've been in a
dating game long enough to be able to pick up on hints and
whatnot. And there's times where I
definitely want to and I can tell she wants to, but I want to
wait one more date, you know, just because I don't want it to
turn into just kissing. But yeah, I would say it is hard

(01:09:30):
to pick up on some like the eye contact.
I feel like you just make eye contact while you're speaking.
So that that hint would be kind of harder to pick up on.
Yeah. But their body language, I just
feel like it's definitely a big sign if any girl is initiating
body language or body contact, especially not shying away from
it. I feel like that's a decent sign
that they are interested. Yeah.

(01:09:52):
Or want to? Was your first, first
experience, like, you know, whenyou were not super far, you
know, with the dating game and like you had like your first
kiss or like, you know, your first time holding hands?
Was it kind of like, you know, super stressful or like.
Yeah, I would agree. I I can't remember how old I was
and I held hands for the first time.
I think I was eighth grade maybe, and it was the girl I

(01:10:14):
like, but it's the same thing. I remember she had asked me to
hold hands because I just was too scared I wouldn't do it.
She was just like, so are we going to hold hands or what?
And but the signs I look for, even after her, the first time
for every girl, I feel like, yeah, if their hands are close
to yours, if I put my hand up onmy leg next to her hand, if she
pulls it away, that's a good sign.

(01:10:35):
Like, oh, she's not wanting to make contact.
But if she moves it closer or ifshe leans into you a little bit
more, there are signs. I think just every guy should
have in mind. If the girl didn't want to hold
your hand to cuddle or whatnot, she would not be physical.
Or I mean close. close is the word.
Like she wouldn't be closer. She wouldn't move closer.

(01:10:58):
Sometimes I would move closer just to see how she would react.
And if she doesn't do anything, I'm like OK, well I feel like
consent is very important, but things like holding hands and
hugging are a lot less of a you need verbal consent.
Like you can kind of tell by body language if they're
comfortable. But I mean, if someone's really

(01:11:18):
nervous about it, I don't see anything wrong with asking, Oh,
is it OK if can I kind of want to hold your hand?
Is that OK with you? Just, like, find a cuter way,
like a cute or flirty way to ask?
Yeah. I think for if it's someone's
first time in anything, it's just you make subtle moves.
I don't know if anyone's seen the movie Hitch, but.

(01:11:39):
Great movie. Yeah, he has the whole, what is
it, 9080 twenty rule where you go 80% and she goes the last.
Yeah. And then the girl goes the last
20. And I feel like that can be
applied to everything. If it's holding hands, you put
your hand 80% of the way. And then if she wants to,
she'll, you know, go another 10%.
You might have to finish it. But yeah, I think subtle little

(01:12:02):
moves will kind of show you if the girl's interested, if the
girl is wanting to be physical or whatnot.
And then you just got to have the confidence to do it.
Exactly. Confidence What's been your
experience with being in relationships and how those have
been successful or, you know, unsuccessful, right.
And why do you think some peopleget married pretty quick, you

(01:12:25):
know, like pretty fast and seem to have success like off the
bat, you know, and some, you know, may take, you know, a long
time and, and just like not hit the mark and like, you know,
should we even measure that as success if they, you know, if
someone isn't married yet, you know, what's kind of like you're
taking experience in that regard.
Yeah, I think it is important toexperience as much as you can

(01:12:48):
before, like getting engaged, being married.
I don't know. I think the idea being LDS, the
idea of eternity with someone isa little intimidating.
And I also see intimidating to make that decision on who I'm
going to spend eternity with in a 2 month period.
Like, oh, and two months, I've already decided who I want to
spend my forever with. Yeah.

(01:13:09):
So I feel like I tend to take longer.
I don't think I have a maximum time I need to date someone,
just a minimum. Yeah, I feel like 6 months is a
good. There's the three month rule of
people can only hide patterns, traits, little things about them
for so long. And three months is kind of
that, that bar where, you know, you kind of see true colors,

(01:13:30):
anything that might have been held back or kind of iffy about,
you're going to really see theirtrue selves within three months.
So I, that's why when people getengaged before three months, I
mean, if you know, you know, if God, if you've prayed about it
and you feel like, you know, yougot an answer from God, I have
no problem with how quick it is.You know, I'm not going to
question someone's revelation. But for myself, I think 3 months

(01:13:51):
is good to, you know, feel things out.
I also think it's important to see them in different seasons,
different aspects. Like I met one of my girlfriends
in the summer, and so all we hadwas time to hang out, have fun.
Yeah, yeah, hang out. But then when school started,
it's a whole different dynamic because now they have 15 credits
and all this homework and they're bouncing of the job, and

(01:14:11):
you kind of see them in a different way.
So I think it's important to seepeople in different ways.
But I also think, like one of the relationships I had, I had
been in there for eight months and I still didn't know if I
wanted to marry them or not. And I feel like if you've dated
them for six months to a year, you should kind of know by then
if there's someone you want to marry.
And if there's certain things you can't see with them, I feel

(01:14:35):
like that's a good sign that they might not be the one.
There's also that thing of escalation of commitment where
I've met their family, they've met mine.
We've paid for a trip to Disneyland.
We've talked about this, this and that, and it just is too
awkward. It seems too hard to let all
that go and break up. So I think people need to also
not be scared of, you know, breaking that up.

(01:14:59):
It is hard. I've been in relationships where
it's like you've done a lot together.
You experienced a lot, You've talked about a lot.
Yeah. And you feel like you can't
break up for XY or Z. But ultimately, if you pray
about it and you don't feel goodabout it, if you can't see
yourself marrying them and you've dated them for a long
period of time, or there's big red flags that you still don't

(01:15:21):
feel comfortable about, or if you just don't feel like you are
your best version of yourself, Ithink that's a big one.
Then it's a good thing to ask yourself if they're the one for
your for yourself. With the girls that that you
have dated and have been in relationships with for, you
know, months, right when those ended, has there been like a
pattern that you have noticed ofwhy it ended or things that kind

(01:15:43):
of turned you off from progressing that relationship or
has it been like really unique and individual for each person?
I think it's been both, like there's kind of common patterns
I see that that can turn me off as far as wanting to marry
someone. But then also I feel like each
relationship is very individual and there isn't a blueprint to

(01:16:05):
dating because everything is so unique.
But I feel like everyone does have their own standards, their
own boxes to be checked, and so some of the reasons to break up
with someone might be the same. I think when someone is dating,
they should have their main boxes that need to be checked no
matter what. Like I have my main boxes like
no matter what, they need to be these things.

(01:16:26):
And then there's all the bonus boxes like, oh, if they're
athletic or they love Rubik's cubes or this and that, It's
like that's an added bonus, but it's not like a guarantee.
Have you ever met a girl who is both both athletic and loves
Rubik's cubes out of curiosity? Or is that still like on the on
the hunt kind of thing? Still on the hunt.

(01:16:47):
Yeah. I feel like good girls think
Rubik's cubes are cool, but I don't know if I've ever really
met one who's like, oh, I can solve one of those because I
think they're a little quirky. If you're athletic and love
Rubik's cubes and you're a girl,reach out 'cause this guy right
here now, I'm just kidding. Rubik's cubes are a must.
Rubik's Cube the ass, right? It's like big box.

(01:17:09):
Got to check it right. Exactly the biggest one.
I'm bringing it to the altar. If you can't solve it, sorry,
I'm leaving right? Can't solve it under 2 minutes.
Yeah, I'm going to walk away. 2 minutes.
Sheesh. That's what's your record real
quick like what's your record for solving?
I want to say it's like 50 or 49seconds.
What sounds quick but the the world record's like 15 seconds I

(01:17:30):
think, or 9 seconds or? Something that's insane.
They ask men and women what the most and least attractive
hobbies are, right? So like, so like if you go on a
date with someone and you find out that that they have XY or Z
as a hobby, are you more or lessinterested in them?
Right. So so first I want to ask what
are your kind of like, you know most attractive hobbies that

(01:17:51):
that a girl can't have and what are what are her least
attractive hobbies? One of my most attractive just
because of how much I enjoy is like the gym, which sounds kind
of basic but. OK.
Yeah, yeah. I feel like it shows a few
things. If they like the gym, then they
like to take care of their body and it's something I know I can
go do with them. So like the gym is one of the
most attractive ones. Or just anything outside like

(01:18:15):
pickleball. I love pickleball or I'm trying
to think, I guess least attractive ones, probably things
I don't do like if their main thing is like, oh, I love rock
climbing. It's like I'm scared of heights.
So I don't know if if I'd make you happy because I would never
go rock climbing. So it's differences I guess.

(01:18:35):
Yeah, OK, so I guess if it's if their main hobbies are things
that I just don't love or video games, I guess I'm not a bit
like I like video games, but I. You aren't a gamer.
Like, yeah, I'm not a gamer, so their main hobby was a gamer.
I'd have a hard time with that Iguess.
OK, gotcha. Yeah, yeah, OK.
What do you think the top three favorite among men?

(01:18:55):
I would think the gym would be up there, not sure what the the
top three would be. So the top one was cooking.
Oh, that makes sense. I don't know why I didn't think
of that. Seconds playing sports, which I
think kind of a kind of like insinuates the gym kind of I
think a little bit. And the third was hiking.
Interesting. Yeah, it makes sense.

(01:19:16):
The cooking, I don't know how anything about that.
I feel like every guy I talk to is like if if the girl can cook,
I'm hooked. Really, really.
You know, so that's so funny because I feel like I didn't
even think about that when I wasdating and that I I accidentally
married a woman who is really good at making food.
Like, like her homemade meals make me not want to go out to

(01:19:37):
eat because I'm like, it's not even any better than what you
make, you know what I mean? Like, she will make like a
homemade, you know, chicken pot pie with a homemade crust, like
a homemade fillet, all the stuff.
And I'm like, what in the world?You know, like I just, you know,
and I'm just like, man, I'm not.So I think it makes sense that a
lot of guys, you know, find thatsuper attractive.

(01:19:58):
True, yeah. Sure are the least attractive
things. And I and I will need to say
that this is not a free responsequestion because again, it's
hard to aggregate, you know, hundreds of different things and
all you know. And so and so I gave a list of
preset, you know, generic hobbies, right?
And then they could choose from them, right.
So the least attractive hobby, according to men, is bird

(01:20:19):
watching. Followed by sewing and writing.
Now, that's not to say that theyhate it if they do this, but
it's more of a neutral thing andit's more of a that's kind of
weird kind of thing. You know what I mean?
Makes sense, yeah. Like I don't know why do you
think that is? Like if you went on a date with
a girl and she's like, I love bird watching, what would you

(01:20:39):
think and say? I I like keep bird watching at
the zoo or like, I don't know, Ifeel like maybe bird watching or
sewing or writing or reading or kind of like you could
stereotype them into, oh, if youdo that, you're probably this
type of girl. And maybe that's where
interesting. If it's like if I was on a
dating profile and I saw sewing,bird watching, reading, I would

(01:21:01):
kind of think the girls I know who do that are these girls who
I'm traditionally not attracted to.
OK, so I think it's kind of likemore of a stereotype.
I see. But I'm sure if they saw Rubik's
cubes on there, they'd be like, oh, that's unattractive.
So I think everyone has their they're things that, yeah, they
like to do for fun, but interesting.

(01:21:21):
Yeah, yeah, right. Sure.
So I remember when I first posted that on Instagram, on my
Utah stats account, everyone waslike, why does everyone hate
bird watching? Like, like, what did the bird
watchers ever do to you? You know what I mean?
But, and it's funny because, andwe'll switch over to women's
perspectives now and see what women find attractive and, you
know, unattractive, but that is also shared women also, that is

(01:21:44):
the second least attractive hobby that a guy can have his
birth watching for some reason, you know what I mean?
What do you think is the least attractive hobby according to
women? I feel like the gym could either
be the most attractive or the least attractive because I've
heard both but I would think video games.
Yep, you're you were spot on. How many women, or what
percentage of women do you thinksaid that they will be less

(01:22:06):
attracted to you if they find out that playing video games is
one of your hobbies? I would think like probably
something's pretty high, like 70%.
It yeah, so it's about 60%. So what's been what's been your
thoughts? And like what have you heard
from girls by video games? I think there's that one video
that Mutual had put out. I saw that one.
Million views. Yeah.
And the girls were like video games so bad.

(01:22:28):
So to turn off, I think everyonehas their hobbies and so I feel
like guys should be able to or anyone should be able to play
video games, whether that's. But I think definitely
moderation. Like I have friends who will
play Fortnite for like 3 hours every single day.
Three hours. Yeah, I'm like, that's a little
much. But if you're playing like once
or twice a week or if it's your weekend or your free time and

(01:22:50):
that's how you want to spend it,that should be OK.
But if it's like getting in the way of a relationship or dating,
then that's when I think it should be like OK.
Because I think going to the gym3 hours every day also is a
little bit excessive. And so I can understand why
girls aren't attracted to video games, but I feel like it's no
different than any other hobby, just as long as it's in

(01:23:11):
moderation. So it's more about the
moderation of the hobby than thehobby itself, is that right?
And it sounds like video games tend to have a more addictive
association with them, or more of a time consuming association
I suppose with them you think? Yeah, and I also feel like maybe
I know a lot of people who play video games who have tend to get
angry a little bit easier. OK, what are the games, by the

(01:23:33):
way? What are the games that they
play that enrages them? More like sports games like.
FIFA or like 2K? Yeah, 2K FIFA.
Nice. That in just because or like
games like Mario Kart or something, I don't know, or I
guess shooting games as well. But I just like a lot of the
time they can make people rage. And so I've I can see a girl not

(01:23:54):
being attracted because they would stereotype.
Oh, they play video games. They probably have anger issues
or get mad easily because I feellike that's a pretty big
stereotype. Yeah, that's fair.
That's fair. Do you play video games at all?
When I was younger I loved playing the Wii but nowadays I
probably play like 1 video game a month for like 30 minutes.
Not that I dislike them, I just feel like when I have free time,

(01:24:18):
yeah it's just not the thing that comes to mind.
But I do love Mario Kart and that's like Madden and 2K.
Cool, nice, nice, nice. I do think video games is a good
way to connect or I've seen people even like like do
missionary work on video games like on Fortnite or even
Minecraft and stuff like that. Like they find ways to do

(01:24:39):
missionary work, which I think is kind of sick.
But so we talked about how womenusually don't like gaming,
right? And bird watching for some
reason, right? Fishing was also one of the
least favorite ones alongside like sewing and yoga.
However, sewing and yoga were more like neutral things like I
don't really care, you know, andso but yeah, fishing I feel
like. And what are your thoughts on

(01:25:01):
this? So in the same way that you feel
like certain hobbies create likean association for the type of
girl that someone is based on their hobbies, right?
I feel like these things can be said set of fishing because I
mean, I feel like I I have heardbefore, like a girl say, well,
if you have a fishing pick in his profile and that means that
he's probably more on the country redneckish side and and

(01:25:23):
like it's just not my personality.
I don't vibe with that. I don't know, like what are your
thoughts on that? Have you heard anything like
that or? Yeah, I feel like what's
confusing is I've heard girls say stuff like, oh, if he fishes
and he knows how to, that's attractive.
But then they seem to be so turned off by these fishing
pictures and I think it does scream more redneck or more Hick
type personality. And yeah, maybe that's the turn

(01:25:46):
off. They're just stereotyping.
I've heard some girls sort of like you're holding up a dead
animal. That's just gross.
OK. Yeah, yeah.
That's why they hate the fishingpictures.
But it honestly still is confusing to me because I've
seen girls who are like fishing pictures are so annoying.
But then they go on a fishing trip and they're posting all
about their pictures on their Instagram.
So I'm like, all right, you got to pick a side here.

(01:26:07):
Girls can do it, but guys can't.It's the rules.
I'm. Just kidding.
Exactly. It's doesn't go both ways I
guess. But.
That I do feel like that's what I'm still trying to crack the
code on. I mean, I enjoy fishing.
I just am not super well versed in it.
So I usually go with someone, but I enjoy it when I go.
Yeah, I'm not quite sure what the hate is for.

(01:26:27):
I could see it because it kind of does become their whole
personality. Like I had a friend who was
super into and anytime the weather was perfect or they had
a free moment, they were going to go fishing.
And I always get. To see that.
Yeah, that idea to a girl could maybe be the same thing with
video games is like, oh, if theyever have a free time, they're
going to go on a fishing trip. So I'm not sure if that's what

(01:26:48):
it is. It's just the idea of them
always being gone fishing but. That's fair.
What do you think the most attractive hobbies are that a
guy can have according to singlewomen living in Utah?
I would think like sports or gymhas got to be #1.
It actually is up there, but it's not #1 it's number one is
cooking again. Yeah, cooking.

(01:27:11):
OK, so here are the stats. And.
And if there's any man who is onthe fence about wanting to take
up cooking as a hobby, I think this is your sign because 91% of
women indicate that they that they will be more attracted to
you if they find out that you cook.
That's crazy. 91%. OK, so only 8% said that that

(01:27:32):
they would feel about the same and only like .8% said that they
would feel less attracted to youfor that.
Why do you think that is? Why is cooking so, you know, so
attractive to women? That's a good question.
I feel like I'm not sure if it'slike the art of cooking or just
I think cooking is impressive asit is like if you can create a

(01:27:53):
good meal. Yeah.
Because, I mean, guys are attracted to girls who are can
cook, but it's more of like the pamper me, take care of me type
of vibe. I feel like.
But a guy cooking being attractive, that's.
I feel like I haven't heard of that as much, but it makes
sense, Yeah. It's one thing that I had asked
my wife about because I asked about this and I was like, hey,

(01:28:14):
hey, Brindley, that's her, her name.
I said, hey, why is this so attractive?
Like, I mean, I feel like it's just like, it's just cooking,
you know what I mean? And she said the thing that that
that I hadn't thought about. And she said that it's less
about the skill itself and knowing that I'm not the only
one who will be expected to cookin our marriage.
And so, and I was like, OK, so it's more of like a here's a

(01:28:36):
glimpse of what my future relationship and marriage could
look like. Like am, am I going to be the
one who's making every single like dinner?
Or am I going to be able to havea night off and like, am I going
to be able to trust my husband to like make food for the kids
beyond just chicken Nuggets? And you know what I mean?
And I don't know, like, and, andI hadn't thought about that.
I was like, yeah, I guess that makes sense, you know, but and

(01:28:58):
it's interesting because it plays, I think it plays into the
expectations and preferences forfor generals and things like
that, right. Like, like I'm curious how many
women, you know, aligned with and expect to kind of fit that
general Like, Yep, I expect to kind of stay at home and cook
and stuff versus how many are kind of expanding and are more
like, no, I kind of want to be able to have some flexibility

(01:29:21):
with the household responsibilities, that kind of
thing. I don't know.
What are your thoughts on that? And and like hasn't been a topic
that has come up in dating and your relationships and things.
Honestly, I feel like girls liking cooking and guys I've not
really heard too much about. OK.
I've had girls always make comments like, oh, I can cook
and clean like I'm wife material.
OK. But I do like the idea of guys

(01:29:42):
being able to cook too. Yeah, share that those roles of
the girls shouldn't be expected to cook every meal.
I think it's also I'm like the least pickiest eater.
Like I don't season my chicken when I cook it.
I like sometimes. You don't season your chicken at
all. No, hold on.
I don't know. I just.
So you just throw a chicken brush on the stove, cook it, and
then just like cut it up and eatit with your rice?
I'd say most of the time. Sometimes salt and pepper.

(01:30:03):
Sometimes. I'll buy the.
Seasoning, OK, I just feel like I'm not it's just fuel to me
sometimes that I'm just not picky and so wow, I also love
eating out so maybe that's another reason.
But yeah, I like the idea of that's that was my thought when
you first did that is maybe the girl sees the potential he has
is like being a father like you.Oh, he can take care of my kids

(01:30:25):
and cook for them if I'm gone and he I don't have to be the
only nurturer and or he's probably good behind a grill and
for some reason girls are attracted when a guy can grill
burgers behind a grill. But yeah, I like that idea of
being able to, I like, I think Ilike the idea of them being able
to share roles like guys being able to cook dinner.

(01:30:45):
And I like when my, I've always thought it was nice and my dad
would cook dinner on a Sunday. My mom was able to just sit
there and relax and enjoy the meal.
And I can see why girls would beinto them.
Yeah, that'd that make sense. Yeah.
OK, so cooking, volunteering wasthe 2nd and perhaps this wasn't
was like a weird question put onmy part, but like how many guys

(01:31:06):
say, Oh yeah, volunteering is one of my hobbies, right.
So I feel like it's less of a hobby and more of a like I'm a
serviceable person, you know, like I, I render service to
those around me and I am active in my community kind of thing.
I don't know, like I don't know.What are your thoughts?
Yeah, I, I could see girls, excuse me, being into that

(01:31:27):
because it kind of shows character.
Like, oh, if they're willing to step up and serve or volunteer
or help out, it kind of shows that they're selfless, that
they're humble, that they're willing to drop what they would
be wanting to do to help out. And so just as far as like if
you're looking for someone todayand you were to find out that
they are so service oriented, they'd be like, oh, well, they

(01:31:48):
are probably very willing to help me if I needed help or help
my family out or their own family.
So I think it just shows a lot of character.
I agree. I think, yeah, that one I think
is pretty simple, but the third one kind of surprised me.
So the third most attractive hobby was traveling.
And so I wanted to ask, ask you about this, especially because
because I feel like traveling ismore associated with with high

(01:32:10):
maintenance women. Like, and again, perhaps that's
a stereotype, but like, I feel like I see more women kind of
sharing things on, on, you know,online about their trip to, you
know, Europe or their, you know,little, you know, their vacation
to Florida, California and othercrews, you know, whatever it is,
right. And so I'm curious because, and,

(01:32:30):
and I asked my wife about this and was like, I feel like women
value travelling more than men do because travelling wasn't
even on the radar for most men when asked about if they find
that attractive in a woman, you know what I mean?
And so like, what's, what's kindof like your take on like, you
know, travelling being an attractive hobby, you know, for
women and why do, you know, perhaps women seem to value

(01:32:53):
travelling more than men. I do feel like most girls I've
gone out with have always asked do you like travelling and they
make comments about how much they enjoy it.
I do love travelling. OK.
Yeah, yeah. And so I think the idea of being
able to travel with your significant other, like when
I've had girlfriends, I've gone to Disneyland, Six Flags or like
different trips, and it is a lotof fun to, yeah, be on that trip

(01:33:16):
with your girlfriend, spouse, whatever it might be.
And so I think they are attracted more to maybe the idea
of being able to experience all these fun things, roller
coasters, the beach, with someone that they love instead
of just, you know, by themselveswith friends.
OK. So I'm not that's my guess is
they just it sounds fun to be able to travel with your
significant other and experiencethe world with with them.

(01:33:39):
The next two were listening to music and playing musical
instruments, followed closely after by playing sports.
So sports is still a pretty desired and attractive hobby,
but it does have some company alongside things like music,
travelling and volunteering and everything like that, You know
what I mean? Which that was interesting, you
know. Yeah, I actually am shocked that

(01:34:01):
musical instruments or like singing isn't higher up on the
list. Yeah, because I feel like almost
almost every girl I interact with says how attractive is if a
guy can play the guitar or if you can sing.
So that's interesting that one'sbehind travelling or what not.
Yeah, it is interesting. And those were all like really
close, like the travelling music, but but cooking is like

(01:34:22):
far above them all for some reason, you know.
So, you know, I guess if you're thinking about cooking, you
know, like, do it because most women are going to find that
pretty attractive, I guess, you know?
Yeah, exactly. My roommate needs to listen in
on that stat. He loves cooking.
Oh yeah. Heck yeah.
Yeah. Whoever he is, tell him to put

(01:34:43):
that in his mutual bio right nowand be like, hey, I will, you
know, hear my, you know, top three features.
I'll make you a sweet treat, youknow?
I'll make you dinner on Sunday. You know?
I bet he'd be rolling in the likes, man.
I bet it, yeah. That's game changer.
Game changer. I'll just do a few miscellaneous
stats. OK, so I use Qualtrics also.

(01:35:04):
Qualtrics, if you're listening, please sponsor me, please.
I love you guys. I love your software.
It's beautiful. I use Qualtrics to do all my
surveys and it's wonderful. And I love digging in and trying
to find differences between the various groups of people.
Right. And that was and that was also
some of the most popular statistics that I have posted on
my page, right? So example, right, on average,
students at UVU have kissed morepeople than students at BYU,

(01:35:28):
right? I feel like that's stereotype
like, oh, UVU people are more, you know, I don't know whatever
it is, right? But that statistically by by a
by a few people tends to actually be true, right?
Do you think that that there is a difference in the culture like
between UVU and BYU? Is it like an actual thing of
like, OK, people at PVU are justmore hungry for dates?

(01:35:52):
Or is it that people at EVU are just more social and people be
where you are just more focused on their studies and just kind
of more head down in the books kind of thing?
Or like what are your thoughts? That actually shocks me a little
bit because I feel like my interaction has been the
craziest girls I've gone out with for outgoing or like BYU
freshmen and sophomores. Really.
And so, I mean, it makes sense though, that UVU would be seen

(01:36:15):
as people with higher discounts because they aren't a religious
school or they're not affiliatedwith any religious organization.
And I feel like I definitely feel like there is a different
vibe from Provo housing to Orem housing.
Yeah, because I've lived in bothand I've obviously been to lots
of different places to hang out.And it's a lot more of a party

(01:36:38):
Yolo here for a good time by housing than it is the Provo.
I think if you students tend to not care as much about kiss
counts and stuff like that, it'sjust like a number and I can see
BYU students just because there are more LDS members there and
it's top more there, you know, to don't just kiss anyone and be

(01:37:02):
smart about this. I have.
I feel like that could have a big part on.
Why? Kind of.
Yeah, exactly. So that makes sense.
Yeah, Another thing that I foundthat was interesting was I was,
I feel like a lot of women say I'm not blonde, so men don't
want me. You know what I mean?
Like men prefer blondes, right? I actually ran the ran the stats

(01:37:22):
on that and found that both men and women on average prefer
brunettes over blondes in terms of what is the most attractive
hair color. What are your thoughts on that?
I feel like in high school and junior high, in every movie, the
cute popular is always a blonde.And so every guy just has this
idea of blondes or the hot girls.

(01:37:43):
And I definitely think that was,I mean, I, I have dated more
blondes than brunettes. I don't have a type, but I feel
like maybe that's more naturallywhat I am leaning towards just
because of, you know, the percentage of blondes have gone
out. But I feel like, yeah, I do hear
a lot more guys who are who do love brunettes.

(01:38:04):
And it's always like I hear people say the hair color
doesn't matter. But I do feel like the blonde is
kind of a myth, like people preferring blonde hairs turning
into more of a myth than an actual fact.
But it's true. That is interesting that it was
more common to have brunettes because you see so many

(01:38:24):
brunettes dye their hair blonde or put blonde streaks in their
hair because they want to be thestereotype cute blonde tan girl.
But yeah. Yeah, women overwhelmingly do
prefer brunette men as well, actually, which makes sense
because I feel like in all of the stereotypical, you know, hot
guy movies or, you know, whatever, right?

(01:38:45):
It's always like super rugged, you know, like light scruff
maybe, you know, like the dark hair, you know, like the Kent
Clark Superman kind of thing. You know what I mean?
Yeah, no, exactly. I feel like I've always heard
that. Girls preferred as brunette and
guys preferred as blonde. But yeah, interesting.
Yeah. One last step that I'll share is

(01:39:05):
that there's always this stereotype about like, you know,
sales Bros or business Bros, youknow what I mean, right.
And perhaps you can resonate with this because you are a
major in digital marketing, right?
At EPU, men who study business and those who have done summer
sales statistically go on more dates and have kissed more girls
than those who are not studying business or you know, haven't

(01:39:26):
done summer sales. What are your kind of thoughts
on that? Is, is it, is it just that those
who do business are just kind ofmore confident or like do they
kind of like you like mold into a certain kind of like group or
you know, like archetype or like, you know, what are your
thoughts there? I do think being within the
Business School is you do have to have a lot of confidence,
especially if you're working with sales at all.

(01:39:48):
Yeah. And so I feel like you do get
these more aggressive alpha maletype personalities who are in
the Business School. And my, my experience, I feel
like I go on more dates than on average than some of my friends
that or people I know. But I mean, I'm not a sales
bride. I've never done summer sales but
I do feel like I've seen them operate and they are very used

(01:40:10):
to getting what they want. Yeah, and they aren't afraid of
rejection, like knock doors. And they've been told, you know,
get off my lawn, you know? Exactly.
And I was at this party once, all this little event, and I
watched this sales bro work on the same girl for three hours
and finally got her to commit togetting ice cream with him after
the party just because he. Didn't take no for an answer.

(01:40:33):
Yeah, he did. She kept saying, oh, I'm good,
I'm good. And then he, he was respectful
about it. Yeah.
But it was interesting to see just the he just kept working at
it. They don't, I think.
Yeah. Like that whole alpha male kind
of stereotype personality, business majors or salespeople
just tend to be a little bit more confident and aggressive

(01:40:55):
with it. And so that would make sense
with that stereotype that they would have a higher discount or
go on more dates or whatever it might be.
Yeah. And I feel like you just have to
talk to a lot of people in general in those majors.
And so it makes talking to girls, or if it's girls talking
to guys easier because you're already doing that at work or
school anyways. True so another stat I'll share

(01:41:18):
ask college students what the most attractive major is like or
like which major has the most attractive people right
according to men it was nursing,which I think it's just the
scrubs is is it the scrubs effect Honestly like is that it
I. Think it is scrubs.
I'm not going to scrubs are Theydo look good in them so maybe.
And according to women, it was business.
Interesting. That's what I was going to

(01:41:40):
guess. I wasn't sure what it would be
for what guys prefer for girls, but I was going to guess
business for what girls prefer. Yeah.
And then both find like Health Science kind of equally
attractive, I think, because a lot of them go on to become like
doctors and like, you know, dentists, that kind of thing.
So it's like, oh, if they're shedding like like Health
Science or biology, like they'regoing to make some money because

(01:42:02):
they're trying to go, you know, because they're pre Med or pre
dental or you know what I mean? Yeah, no, that makes sense.
Yeah, there's girls definitely attracted to the idea of someone
making money. Yeah, right.
True. It's ironic because I feel like
I hear Sheraton's like, Oh no, he's a business bro, stay away.
But also the data says that they're the most attractive
people. And I even asked my wife and she

(01:42:23):
said, yeah, because they dress nice and they and they take care
of themselves better than most men do.
You know what I mean? I.
Think like every girl's scared of it but they're also attracted
to it. Like there's a kind of a lack of
better term douchebag vibe with it.
Yeah. And like, I've definitely been
stereotyped as that with my major kind of how I dress

(01:42:46):
because I go to the gym. But I think, like, that aspect
scares them that they might be kind of that attitude, that
personality. But for some reason girls are
also attracted to that because of, yeah, how they carry
themselves, how confident they are.
So I thought they are scared of it, but they also find things
that are attractive about it. Yeah, I'll have you kind of like

(01:43:07):
experienced that, you know, justlike in, in your relationships
and also just on your own account, you know, like how, how
have you seen people kind of like resonate and like lean into
stereotypes, that kind of thing?Yeah, I definitely think there's
a stereotype of, yeah, if you dosales, you have a Tesla or if
you have a Tesla that makes you more attractive or more
impressive and or like for girls, if you're wanting to be

(01:43:31):
one of the cute popular girls, you're going to have the hydro
jug, you can have your energy drink.
There's definitely, it's kind ofsad to see.
I feel it's more of a high school thing, but I have
definitely seen a leak into college life of where people
feel like they have to still take on these personality traits
or stereotypes in order to be portrayed as attractive or good

(01:43:52):
enough. And I feel like I found myself
guilty of that, trying to impress a girl, pick up these
random traits that I are definitely not me, but I feel
like that's what I had to do in order to get the girl like me.
Gotcha. OK.
Yeah. But there's definitely
stereotypes that I was hoping would go away and after high
school, but they definitely stick around.

(01:44:12):
Yeah, I definitely have had people stereotype me into that F
boy tool type of like, like, oh,when I first saw you, I thought
you were going to be a tool or whatever, and then I got to know
you and I like, you're actually a nice guy.
It's a messy hair. It's the messy hair, I think.
Exactly. And the sweatshirt, messy hair,
and that's right, the puka shells or whatever.
But you. Got the necklace.
Oh yeah, that's it, That's it. Yeah, it's that's so funny,

(01:44:34):
which is can be hard because some people just want to like,
dress how they dress or style how they style, and then they
get stereotyped. But I mean, I stereotype girls,
but I don't hold them to that. I'll be like, oh, she does this
or owns this. She must be like these 98 other
girls that I've met. And then you go on a date and
realize, oh, she's nothing like that.
So I think it's OK to stereotypesomeone, but not like hold them

(01:44:56):
to that or like you got to be OKwith letting go of, you know,
stereotypes, which I think some people do.
But there's still those people who he still looks like this or
she still does this. She's got to be this.
Yeah. So like, recognize patterns and
use those. But, you know, be open to being
wrong, right. And like, like, be open to being

(01:45:18):
like, OK, maybe I judge this person, you know, like.
Yeah, yeah, I'd rather I'd, I hope that I'm wrong, you know,
it's like, oh, she looks high maintenance, but she's actually
not at all. So I, I'm glad that I'm wrong
that I stereotyped, you know? OK, interesting.
Have you ever gone on a date with a girl who reached out to
your pull up Utah account and was like, hey, I saw this reel

(01:45:40):
of you and you're kind of cute? Like you want to like, hang out?
Like has that ever happened yet or no?
It has. I've had, I mean, because I have
done interviews with girls. Well, I try to interview, I try
to keep it neutral. Interview the same amount of
girls and guys. Yeah, all audience dates.
But I feel like there definitelyhave been times I've interviewed
girls and either they initiate it or I've asked a few girls on

(01:46:04):
dates. Only a few that I've
interviewed, but I definitely have had people comment and be
like, wait, who is that guy? What's his, what's his at or
what not. Yeah, I have gone on a few dates
of girls reaching out from it, but I they haven't really gone
anywhere. OK, all right, all right.
Do you ever get comments from like friends where there's been
like, oh, like you're an influencer, you know, I bet you

(01:46:26):
get like like all the girls, youknow, like you have that And and
also do girls like treat you differently almost when they
kind of found find out like, Oh,you on an Instagram page that
has like 8000 people. Oh, you collab with mutual like
you're, you're like kind of up here now.
Like have you felt that kind of difference or no?
Yeah, I remember I was texting this one girl and I had made

(01:46:50):
mention that I had a Instagram account that I 'cause she asked
my major was like, oh, I do digital marketing and whatnot.
And then once they found it like, oh, you're a celebrity,
you're an influencer. Like I'm actually, no, we're
close to a celebrity or an influencer, but it's either some
girls, it's like, oh, a green flag and some girls it's a red
flag. Oh, he's so involved in social

(01:47:12):
media, that's a turn off. So that's like the only downside
to it is some people don't they think that's weird.
If you're super posting reels trying to be an influencer or
whatnot, that's a turn off for. Sure.
Yeah, I've had a number of people come up and like what
you're that guy from that video or you're the the interview guy

(01:47:33):
or like friends who are like, oh, you were on my for you page
when I was scrolling. And so it's it's kind of funny,
but yeah, it's definitely. I wouldn't say I would say we're
so small enough account that I don't get treated differently.
OK, yeah, but I feel like it hasturned some girls off when they
find out that I do run an Instagram page like, oh, that's

(01:47:53):
weird. I don't want to keep talking to
you. OK.
Huh. Interesting.
OK. What is something that you just
want to, you know, just leave off and share?
And is there anything, you know,that you want to share that's
happening on your Instagram pagethat you want to take a second
to, you know, talk about or anything like that?
And just kind of yeah, what's your closing, your closing
thoughts and stuff? Yeah, I guess I'll show my, my,

(01:48:14):
my last thoughts on dating and then on my account as well.
But I think just communicating your intentions with the other
person, it's just going to be really respectful and mature.
If you're not there to have a relationship, just tell them
that. If you're not there to get
married, tell them that so you don't waste your time or their
time. If you're just there for Enigma.

(01:48:36):
I think you guys just kind of both know that that's what's
going down that that that's what's going to happen.
I kind of find that the older the girls are that I'm going out
with, they're a lot less open. They're a lot less.
I think it's hard to get a hold of, hard to set things up.
There's a lot more picky is probably better way to put it
because they've been in the dating game for so long.

(01:48:57):
If you're 23 compared to 18 or 19 just in college, you can
experience a lot by then and you're going to be a lot more
picky because you're going to bekind of sick of the bull crap by
then. All the guys bull crap, all the
just annoying things that come along with dating.
Some of the 19 or 20 year olds that I've been on date with,
whether it's in the last year orthe last two years or whatever
it might be, I found that they feel like they communicate a bit

(01:49:21):
better. They're a lot more willing to go
out and try things. They're a lot more, I don't
know, excited about a lot of things because they're so new to
dating. But by by some of the older
girls I've gone out with, you know, 23 to 26, they are a lot
more picky. And if you kind of give them one
little thing, then they're out. Also, you don't hear from again
or they make their mind up really quick or they're a lot

(01:49:42):
more hesitant to set up a date or to go on a second date
because they're so sick, which makes sense, respectively.
So they're kind of sick of this Utah dating game of, oh, this
guy's just here to kiss me, or this guy is not looking for a
relationship, or I got so close to wanting to like them and then
I found something out or it's just not clicking.
But I do feel like it is just nice to communicate how you

(01:50:04):
feel. I think communication is very
overlooked. I think communication is one of
the most important things, whether you're just dating,
whether you're boyfriend or girlfriend, whether you're
married. I think communication needs to
be stepped up. You know, I'm not saying I'm
perfect at it. I myself could do a lot better
job at communicating how I feel about a girl who my intentions
are as far as if this is just friendly dating or if I want

(01:50:25):
this to go somewhere. But I think dating is also a
great opportunity. You need to be confident.
You need to know that you have something worth dating.
You know that you are worth something to someone.
And if you tell yourself you're not that and you show that
insecurities to someone, they'reprobably not going to want to be
interested. Girls and guys, whoever you're
going out with are attracted to confidence.

(01:50:46):
They're attracted to someone whoknows who they are.
And you also want to show that you want that person.
Like if I am interested in a girl, I should be showing her
that I want her. I should be showing her that I'm
interested. There's obviously degrees to
that. I shouldn't be too much.
But I think sometimes people arescared to show emotion.
People are scared to be vulnerable, to say certain

(01:51:08):
things. If you truly are going to marry
someone, they need to see every side of you.
They need to see, you know, the good, the bad, the ugly you
without makeup on you crying youangry you when you're stressed
out. And too many people try to hide
that. And I think that is not a good
thing. I mean, it is embarrassing to
crying for someone. It is embarrassing to have, you

(01:51:31):
know, crazy hair because you just woke up in the morning or
be in clothes that you don't like because you didn't do your
laundry. I would say like the biggest
thing with dating is if you're looking for someone or if you're
tired of being single as confidence, like you're always
going to stay single until you decide to talk to her, decide to
talk to him. And then once you are talking to

(01:51:51):
someone, it's just communication.
I don't think like that's one ofthe biggest weaknesses in
today's generation is communicating thoughts,
feelings, emotions. And so I think it's being
confident emotions. That's our emotions, confidence,
communication. And then from the guy's
perspective, I think just be as respectful as you can, like,
treat these women as they're supposed to be treated.

(01:52:13):
Don't cross their boundaries. Don't make them uncomfortable.
Look for ways to help them recognize who they are and, you
know, lift them up and look for a girl who will do the same to
you and respect and, you know, match your effort.
Yeah. And in regards with that, I feel
like we have found the most success on our Instagram account
has been our dating topics, our dating stuff like we have these

(01:52:35):
match up Mondays where we'll take two random followers and
match them up on the video and give them a free date if we get
50 comments on the video. That's awesome.
That's so cool. We have gotten a few 1000
followers from those videos alone just because people so
bad. They want to be set up on dates,
they want to find people to date.
And so yeah, it's it honestly works good.

(01:52:56):
I was shocked because we just started as a random idea like,
oh, it's just Camden. I was like, let's just match up
two people and see how it goes. I saw it in a real yeah, we got
like from 2 reels alone. We got I think 3000 followers
from it, which was kind of crazy.
And so my point sharing that is we want pull up to be like an
account where people can find stuff to do.

(01:53:18):
But we're also starting to implement all kinds of like
dating type stuff, like setting people up on blind dates, doing
different types of things to help people go on dates and meet
people. So and people also kind of get
confused about what our account is, yeah, because it's like it
says events, but then there's meinterviewing people.
Yeah, there's mutual. There's, like everything.

(01:53:39):
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And so it's just, I don't know,
I guess I just cut a little bit of everything.
We try to like, keep it funny, keep it chill, but then also
make sure people have stuff to do.
But I guess for all the single people out there, we're just
trying to find ways to help themout because the dating world is
hard in Utah. Yeah, Amen.
Amen, Brother. I appreciate you sharing that
and I appreciate you taking the time to come on the podcast.

(01:54:01):
This is, you know, again, just like episode 4, you're our 3rd
guest. And so we're just trying to, you
know, at least, you know, on my end, right?
We have all this data and, and, and, and you know, the surveys
that you know, we do. And it's interesting to hear of
the experiences of real people behind the behind the numbers,
you know what I mean? Because in the end, you know, we
are more than just numbers. You know, we're, you know, real
people with real experiences, real feelings.

(01:54:23):
And that matters, you know what I mean?
And so I appreciate you coming on and being vulnerable, sharing
some stories, some experiences, and some thoughts.
And yeah, I just appreciate yourtime very much.
Of course I was. I was happy to do it.
I I'm a talker sometimes, but hopefully a little bit of my
insights were helpful to someone.
No, it's OK. Yeah, that's that.
It's a podcast. We love talkers, right?

(01:54:44):
You know, that's, you know, that's the goal.
So if you're listening to this, we're grateful that you have
listened this far. And as a reminder, we are
collaborating on a survey about consent culture within Utah
regarding dating and sexual assault and things like that.
So please go and take that. Whether you are single or

(01:55:05):
married or in a relationship or a man or a woman, please go and
take that survey. We are trying to better
understand and just kind of raise some awareness for the
prevalence of, of unwanted sexual and romantic actions
against people. So if if you can help out with
that, that would be awesome. And yeah, thank you again for

(01:55:27):
listening. And Connor, thank you again for
being here. We are so glad you joined us and
we hope that you have a good rest of your week.
Thank you so much. And good luck on the Instagram
too. That's awesome.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Dating in Utah County with Connor Snapp (PullUp.UT)

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

All Episodes

Dating in Utah County with Connor Snapp (PullUp.UT)

Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club