June 9, 2025 • 22 mins
Understanding and Overcoming Emotional Eating
In this episode of the Muscles and Mindset Revolution Podcast, I delve into the common issue of emotional eating.
We discuss the impact of emotional eating on weight and why restrictive diets exacerbate the problem. I also outlines strategies for managing emotional eating, emphasizing the importance of addressing underlying thoughts and feelings, and offer practical tips on how to nourish emotional needs without relying on food. The episode includes actionable steps.
00:00 Welcome to the Muscles and Mindset Revolution
00:41 Understanding Emotional Eating
06:18 The Real Work Begins with Your Thoughts
09:45 Feel Your Feelings Without Food
14:56 Unlocking Happy Chemicals Without Food
17:33 Progress, Not Perfection
21:42 Final Thoughts and How to Dive Deeper
• [FREE YOUR BODY YOUR WAY GUIDE]
• [Join our Free Facebook Community]
• [https://musclesandmindset.ca/]
Ready to build strength, feel confident AF, and lose fat without obsessing or stressing over it? [Apply to Join the Muscles & Mindset program here].
Connect With Me:
• Instagram: [@annejonesfit]
• Website: [https://www.annejonescoaching.ca/]
• YouTube: [https://www.youtube.com/@annejones]
Love This Episode? Share & Review!
If you found this episode helpful, take a screenshot and share it on your Instagram stories, tagging [@annejonesfit] so I can say thanks! Don’t forget to leave a review on your favourite podcast platform—it helps more women discover the show and start their transformation!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to the Muscles andMindset Revolution Podcast.
The podcast for busy, ambitiouswomen who are tired of chasing
quick fixes and are ready tofinally achieve real lasting
results, stronger bodies,sustainable habits, and
long-term.
Weight loss.
I'm your host, Anne Jones,certified life coach and fitness
professional for over 15 years.
(00:21):
Here to help you break free frominconsistency, overwhelm, and
burnout, build strength, feelconfident, af, and lose weight
without obsessing or stressingover weight loss, no bs, just
simple sustainable strategies.
Let's dive in.
Hey friend.
Hello.
Welcome back to the podcast.
Okay.
If Summer has you reaching fortortilla chips, wine cookies,
(00:46):
the second that stress hits thisepisode is your reset.
Emotional eating is incrediblycommon and it is not a character
flaw.
So here's some things that Iwant you to know about emotional
eating.
It is research correlated withobesity and being overweight.
It is not the only reason thatsome people may carry extra
weight.
(01:06):
It is not, obviously, the onlything correlated with obesity or
being overweight.
People who have never struggledwith their weight, also
emotionally eat.
I've definitely emotionallyeaten at times when I was not
overweight or obese.
Emotional eating is notdisordered eating, but it can
lead to disordered eating whenit becomes your default coping
(01:28):
strategy, coping mechanism, oras we call it, in muscles and
mindset, SPB, self-protectivebehavio Now I have heard that my
absence has been noted.
So if you're wondering why thisepisode is coming out a little
later than usual in the week,it's because May was wild y'all.
And super fun.
I.
Met my mastermind in Nashvillewhere I was like soaking up
(01:49):
goodness with them.
And then I flew home and prettymuch immediately hosted our
first ever live event here onthe Sunshine Coast for our
muscles and mindset clients,which was so fulfilling and so
fun.
And then we launched Summer60,which is our annual eight week
fitness and accountabilityprogram, which is now officially
underway.
Although if you did miss out onSummer60, I will have.
(02:11):
Another option coming for you injust a day or two.
So make sure that you're on myemail list via the link in the
show notes here.
So whether you're new or youfound me through Summer60, or
our recent strong Her challenge,welcome and if you are a loyal
listener, thank you for beingpatient while I catch my breath.
So today's episode is for thewoman who's not looking for
(02:33):
another diet plan.
She's looking for peace.
She's looking for self-trust,and she's looking to feel ease
in her body again.
So let's dive in.
Real quick, this episode issponsored by Muscles and
Mindset.
Muscles and Mindset is mysignature fitness mindset and
nutrition coaching program wherewe help clients integrate this
work long term with coachingsupport every step of the way.
(02:54):
And you can always apply via thelink in the show notes.
Okay.
Emotional eating, part one.
I eat because I'm unhappy andI'm unhappy because I eat.
That line from Fat Bastard inAustin Powers.
If you are a millennial, youwill know.
It's funny because it's true,right?
It's funny because it's MikeMeyers, and it's funny because
it's true, but emotional eatingis not about weakness.
(03:17):
It is not about being lazy andit's definitely not about
needing more discipline.
The real question is whatproblem are we actually dealing
with?
There are a few things that itcould be it could be food
addiction, which is chemical,neurological, and less common
than we, than people think Itcould be binge eating disorder,
which is diagnosable andpsychological, and again, far
(03:39):
less common than emotionaleating, which is the most common
and often the mostmisunderstood.
Most of the women who we workwith are dealing with emotional
eating, so common, right?
We honestly all emotionally eatat one time or another.
Most of the women who we workwith are not eating three fast
food meals a day.
They're not addicted to sugar.
Even if they have been led tobelieve that.
(04:01):
They are either truly hungry orstuck in a loop.
Emotion, food, guilt, repeatemotion, food, guilt, repeat.
Does it sound familiar?
please remember we're gonna talkabout this a little bit more,
but emotion can be literallyanything.
It can be anger, sadness,frustration.
I would say stress is the mostcommon one, which is why we want
(04:22):
to integrate other stressmanagement techniques.
But it can also be boredom.
Boredom eating is stillemotional eating.
And then it's emotion to theeating, to the guilt, which
remembering the differencebetween guilt and shame.
Guilt is, I did something bad orthe thought I did something
wrong.
Shame becomes when it's like Iam wrong.
There is something wrong withme, which I do see often with
(04:44):
emotional eating as well as itdoes, it can lead into shame, as
can many self-protectivebehaviours.
Okay, part two, why restrictionactually makes emotional eating
worse.
So you try to fix it, right?
So you say, I'm an emotionaleater.
I eat when I'm stressed, Iperhaps you binge eat, or it's
just a little bit of emotionaleating or whatever.
What I see most often is you tryto fix it, you cut carbs.
(05:07):
You start another meal plan oryou look for the correct meal
plan, or you square off sugarAgain, no sugar, no, no sweets.
Here's the kicker.
Restriction actually feedsemotional eating.
It's actually making the problemworse.
Restriction for emotional eatingis actually like trying to put
out a fire with.
Gasoline because emotionaleating isn't about food.
(05:28):
It's about regulation.
It is your nervous systemlooking for a way to feel better
fast.
Right.
I think that probably speaks toyou.
You feel uncomfortable.
You feel the emotion.
You feel bored, you feelstressed, you feel sad, you feel
lonely.
You eat to feel better fast, toavoid discomfort, which is the
reason that we do many thingsthat we do, including all the
(05:50):
SPBs self-protective behaviours.
AKA are coping mechanisms.
Now when we label that responseas bad or weak, that is when we
layer on shame.
And nothing good grows fromshame.
And shame is more challenging toget away from than simply the
thought, that happened.
(06:10):
Or I did that or I ate that.
Shame starts to become like apart of us.
And it is quote unquote fixable,which is what we're talking
about today.
So that leads me to part three,which is that the real work to
eliminating emotional eatingbegins with your thoughts.
So here's what we teach insidemuscles and mindset and just to
be clear, if you don't alreadyknow, I have a fitness
(06:33):
background.
I have a life coachingbackground, and I have two
amazing full-time coaches on myteam who work with our clients
inside muscles and mindset.
And coach Natalie is, has been anutritionist for many years and
she has her own nutritionjourney and story and she is a
holistic nutritionist, so she isexcellent at looking at the big
(06:54):
picture.
And then Coach Taylor is amoderation 365 nutrition coach.
And moderation 365 is a.
Nutrition psychologycertification produced by my
business coach and mentor, JillColeman.
And I actually gifted it toTaylor.
I put her through it because itspoke so well to both of us
(07:14):
because I am all aboutmoderation.
I'm not about eliminationforever, black and white.
I'm like all the things fit.
And Taylor loved it too.
And I put her through it.
And now that is what she doeswith clients, which is very much
all foods fit, everything inmoderation, learning to listen
to hunger cues.
And so inside muscles andmindset, we actually have a 10
(07:35):
step nutrition protocol and itbrings in nervous system
regulation, some concepts ofintuitive eating, nutrition,
education, macros, and micros.
Education.
I love to blend all the thingsthat we have because I really
think that we can only heal theanything to do with our habits
at the level of the body.
(07:55):
And we still need the science,the nuts and bolts, the
nutrition education, right?
So that's what we do inside themuscles and mindset.
10 step nutrition method, andI'm gonna share a little bit of
it with you right now.
And so inside muscles andmindset, whenever we're coaching
or I'm coaching a client onanything behaviour or habit
related or even just a thought,your act, we always start with
the thought.
(08:16):
Your actions begin with yourthoughts.
The circumstance is just a thingthat is happening.
We often allow our circumstanceto dictate our actions, our
feelings, and our mood, but ourcircumstance is actually just a
thing that's happening.
The thought that we have aboutthe circumstance is what causes
us to have a feeling, whichcauses us to have an action
which creates our result.
(08:36):
And this is what I walk ourclients through.
So, there's a circumstance likesomething happened, your boss
yelled at you, you have athought, I'm an asshole.
I suck.
Whatever makes you feelstressed.
You emotionally eat, you get aresult, right?
Which is either just like yourdigestion sucks.
Perhaps over time you gainweight, or it becomes a spiral
like we talked about of you.
(08:57):
Like go into guilt.
That's a new emotion.
Then you emotionally eat again,it starts a whole spiral.
That's just one example, right?
But what I really want to comeback to is that your actions
start with your thoughts.
Most of us are having the same,I believe it's 60,000 thoughts.
Every day we're having the same60,000 thoughts on repeat today
as we did yesterday, and ifthose thoughts sound like I
can't stick to anything I'vealready screwed up, might as
(09:21):
well just eat more.
Like, what's the point?
I just need to lose 10 poundsand then I'll be happy.
Then of course, you'll feel outof control.
Right, but this is the realwork, actually not eliminating
chocolate, although we mighthave to do that for a short
amount of time if that's atrigger food.
But in the long term, that's notthe answer.
But shifting how you think andfeel in the moments that trigger
(09:43):
the urge to emotionally eat.
Part four.
Feel your feelings without usingfood as a buffer.
And today we're talking aboutfood, but as I mentioned, there
is a laundry list ofself-protective behaviours.
Addiction shopping, porn,exercise, alcohol, drugs.
Fidgeting, overworking,caretaking, procrastination.
A billion things that you canuse as a buffer, as a
(10:05):
self-protective behaviour.
Today we just happen to betalking about using food'cause
it's a super common one andsocially acceptable.
This is something I was actuallytalking to Coach Taylor about
right before this is like, we'retaught, we're taught to do this.
We're taught societally.
How many movies, particularly inmy generation, include a breakup
and a tub of ice cream?
(10:26):
Right?
It still happens.
I saw it on for all mankind lastnight.
She gave a bad interview.
She's eating a tub of ice cream,which is fine.
I, I'm just pointing that out tosay that it is something that we
are taught.
We're sad and we eat, we'restressed and we eat.
We see it everywhere, but.
Here's a wild idea that we arenot taught, and it is that you
(10:50):
actually don't need to battleyour feelings.
You just need to notice them.
So we teach our clients insidemuscles and mindset to ask a few
simple questions.
This is specifically around foodand emotional eating.
If you could ask yourself thesethree specific questions, it
would take you a long way.
Am I physically hungry rightnow?
Now this is a tough one causeagain.
(11:12):
What are we taught?
We're not taught generally howto feel our hunger cues and feel
our fullness cues.
We are taught that just eatingless is ideal.
Eating certain things are ideal.
Eating certain things are goodand certain things are bad.
Like we're taught all of thesethings outside of our bodies,
which train us to get out oftouch with our.
(11:32):
Hunger cues.
And then again, if you're infrom my generation, all the
magazines when I was a teenagerand a young woman were like,
ways to not be hungry.
Drink some water, chew some gum.
Just don't be hungry.
So we were literally taught tooverride our body's cues.
It's kind of crazy.
(11:52):
So.
You may need to relearn how tofeel those hunger and fullness
cues.
And again, this is somethingthat we do frequently with our
clients is like getting in touchwith how the body feels.
Are we hungry or is this someother kind of discomfort or
digestion or pain?
Are we full?
Do we know?
And it requires some slowdownand some safety in our body to
(12:13):
even get there.
So.
It's a different practice than Ithink people realize.
'cause everyone's out herelooking for the diet and the
meal plan, not listening totheir body, which has all the
wisdom that you literally need.
So that first question I wantyou to ask is, am I physically
hungry right now?
Do I even know what that feelslike?
The second question, when did Ilast eat?
(12:34):
This is a reasonable question,right?
If it was an hour ago whenyou're hungry, like I'm not
gonna say that you're not goingto eat again, but that's good
information and biofeedbackabout your last meal, that's an
opportunity to audit your lastmeal or snack because your meals
and snacks should be epic andfull of protein and satiety.
They should hold you over and ifthey are not, that is an
(12:54):
opportunity to audit what youare eating.
And then the third question Iwant you to ask is, what am I
actually feeling?
So for many of us, whatever ourself-protective behaviour is,
often it's to eat or to checkour phone, right?
This is a very common one that Iwork with with clients what am I
actually feeling?
And this is not aboutoveranalyzing or navel gazing.
(13:15):
It is about.
Awareness because we cannotchange the behaviour if we don't
notice what's happening first.
So something that our coacheswill sometimes do with clients
is, is a mood and food journal.
So sure we can.
Track food in the way that wecan write down like what we are
eating or we can, you know, we,I'm not here for like specific
(13:35):
tracking, restrictive macros,but we can track our food to see
what we are eating and audit.
Like I mentioned before, we canalso do a food and mood journal.
So what did I eat?
What was I feeling when I ateit?
How did my body feel after?
And then even maybe like whendid I get hungry again?
This is great information.
It's get this teaches you to getto know your body, whereas
(13:58):
tracking in a specific macroscount takes us out of the body.
That requires no tune in otherthan maybe like, what do I feel
like eating that fits into mymacros?
So that's not to say there's noplace for macro tracking.
But it's from a different lensversus this is all we have.
It's more like, this is what'shappening.
(14:19):
How is it making me feel, and isit working because your body
truly knows.
So instead of pushing feelingsdown or punishing yourself with
an extra cardio session, I wantyou to ask yourself, what would
feel nourishing right now?
Maybe it's protein.
Maybe it's a cry.
Maybe it's a nap.
Maybe it's a walk with musicblaring in your ears, or a
podcast or calling a friend orsunshine, touch grass as they
(14:43):
say.
But when we don't pause to askthis question, we go to what we
were taught or what our habitis, which very often is food,
caretaking, overworking,nagging, whatever the thing is.
Part five, unlock the happychemicals without using food
alone.
So let's talk biology real quickhere.
(15:04):
Food gives us dopamine fast, anddopamine is known as like the
motivation, anticipation,hormone.
It's actually not, some peoplecall it like the happy hormone,
but it's actually more theanticipation hormone.
We put out dopamine where we'relike expecting or anticipating
something, but there are otherways to feel good and create
(15:25):
this excitement and anticipationthat don't create a guilt spiral
and don't create, digestionissues or weight gain.
So here's your little cheatsheet.
if your mood is unstable, so youtune in and you're like, oh, a
little moody, you might becraving serotonin.
Serotonin is provided bysunlight.
So that's why I say you need togo outside, walk in nature,
(15:48):
listen to music.
If you are looking for thereward, right, the anticipation
of the reward, that is dopamine.
So finishing a task, notfinishing all of your tasks, but
finishing one task, doingsomething maybe with music,
celebrating your wins, sharing awin with a friend or a
community.
Eating a nutrient rich food.
A reward.
That will give you a dopaminehit without just open-end
(16:12):
emotional eating.
If you're craving connection,you are craving oxytocin.
You need to cuddle, you need tohug someone, you need to play
with your pet.
You need to call a friend.
If you don't have someone tohug, you can do a ventral self
hug.
One hand on your shoulder,opposite hand on your rib cage,
giving yourself a hug, rockingback and forth.
Excellent for your nervoussystem.
(16:33):
You can do it to yourself.
If you are in pain, likephysical pain, chronic pain, you
need endorphins, you need alaugh, you gotta watch a funny
movie.
I go to my explore feed for,this is all I go to my explore
feed for.
I am not a scroller on Instagramand certainly not on Facebook,
but I've kind of trained myexplore feed to be full of like
chicken and dog videos, which Idon't generally spend hours
(16:56):
scrolling.
But if I need a hit, I will goto it and have a good laugh and
share it with the mostappropriate friends.
Dance to a song, go to a danceclass.
Do a virtual dance class.
Move your body.
Eat some spicy food that willgive you endorphins, you know,
go on an uphill walk.
that's kind of a little cheatsheet so that you know how to
meet your own needs, becauseemotional eating is just an
(17:17):
attempt to meet a need that'snot getting met by the body.
But we know sometimes food makesus feel better real fast.
So like that becomes our go-to.
But there are many, many, many,many, many, many other ways to
meet your need better that isfor your highest good.
Part six.
You've heard me say it before.
You're gonna hear me Say itagain.
(17:38):
Progress not perfection.
Progress not perfection.
Let's be honest.
You will still emotionally eatsometimes.
I told you I've done it.
It doesn't mean that you failed.
It means you are human having ahuman experience.
We're gonna need some compassionhere.
You will also miss workouts.
You will lie on the couchsometimes.
Sometimes you'll feel tired.
You'll have your period.
Sometimes you'll feel tired whenyou don't have your period.
(17:58):
Sometimes you will eat thecookie and not want the salad.
You just will not feel like it.
That doesn't mean it'sself-sabotage.
That means it's life.
And that's actually a good cuewhen it happens.
It's happening sometimes thatyou are in your body and you are
having a human experience andyou are regulated.
This is the things that myclients experience like they
(18:19):
tell me I am not having cravingsanymore.
I would say within a few weeksthrough the muscles and mindset
nutrition protocol, clients whowere having sugar cravings,
pasta, carb cravings are gone.
Because they're meeting theirneed in another way.
They're more in tune with thebody and they will get that
craving when they're in Italyfor pasta.
Or they will on a hot day, havea craving for orange sherbet or
(18:43):
whatever.
When they get very specific likethat.
That's you really listeningrather than just anything,
carbs, sugar, sweet.
All the time.
So that's a good, likedifferentiator.
All that to say, the broadgeneral consistent cravings will
go away and the very specificfun cravings will show up you
(19:03):
will honor them and cool, that'slife.
That's the point.
What matters is can you keepshowing up the next day, even if
you're doing it from a place ofemotionally eating, you eat the
thing.
Can you show up the next daystepping into the person who you
want to become?
What would she do?
You do not have to wait tillMonday.
You don't have to wait till July1st.
Tomorrow, you can do it rightnow.
You don't have to call the restof the day a wash.
(19:25):
Can you choose to feel yourfeelings instead of attempt to
fix them with food or whateveryour other self-protective
behaviour is?
That's the muscle that we arebuilding.
That's the muscle that we arestrengthening the capacity to do
this is already in you.
You are just taught that it'snot, you don't know.
You don't have the tools.
Someone else knows your bodybetter than you.
(19:45):
You don't need another food ruleactually.
You don't need more shame.
You don't need to feel bad aboutthe things that you eat or the
things that you want to eat.
You need to believe that yourbody and your brain are not
working against you.
They are trying to keep yousafe.
When you have a craving, whenyou wanna emotionally eat that
is your brain trying to keep yousafe.
Your brain's priority is keepingyou safe and comfortable.
(20:07):
Safe and comfortable, but it'slike it's just a organ.
It doesn't have all theinformation, so you have to
rewire it and train it to keepyou safe when you're truly in
danger only.
And you will have to challengeit to push you out of your
comfort zone.
'cause it will always come backto what's comfortable and
habitual.
So the next time you feel thaturge to eat the snack when
(20:30):
you're not actually hungry.
Try this.
Can you just see it?
Can you just pause?
See the thought that you'rehaving?
Oh, I'm thinking that I want toeat that thing.
Oh, what am I feeling right now?
Because is it related to thisfeeling?
Sit with it even for 10 seconds.
Two minutes if you can.
10 seconds is great.
Ask, like, what do you actuallyneed?
Are you just bored?
(20:50):
And this is not from like adiety place of like, don't be
hungry, right?
This is if, if you're trulyhungry, fucking like go eat.
But if you are not, if you'rebored or lonely or stressed or
whatever, what is the feeling?
Can you sit with it?
Eyes closed, see what else comesup?
Ask what do I actually need?
(21:11):
What would feel nourishing?
And then choose next from love,not lack or fear.
Choose from love.
So if you really want the orangesorbet, cool.
Have the orange sorbet.
Is it coming from a place oflove and like desire or stress
and anxiety?
Or if you really don't want,your grandmother's offering you
cake and you really don't wantit.
Cool.
Is that coming from a place oflove?
(21:32):
Like you really, your bodydoesn't want it?
Or are you afraid of the cake?
Because those things aredifferent.
Always leading from love, notlack, or fear.
This is the real way through.
And if you wanna dive deeperinto this work, this is
literally what we do insidemuscles and mindset.
This is where we teach this stepby step.
We have a 10 step system.
You get personalized nutritioncoaching with one of our
(21:52):
certified nutrition coaches.
You get fitness trainingprograms designed specifically
for your life and the mindsettools to create real change.
No guilt, no food obsession,just sustainable results that
stick.
You can always apply to musclesand mindset via the link in the
show notes.
We would love to support you.
And that's all that I have foryou guys, today, but this is a
(22:14):
big one, so I would love to hearyour feedback.
Please leave a five star reviewor share this episode if they
spoke to you or someone who youlove.
Thank you so much and I'll catchyou next time.
Welcome to the Muscles andMindset Revolution Podcast.
The podcast for busy, ambitiouswomen who are tired of chasing
quick fixes and are ready tofinally achieve real lasting
results, stronger bodies,sustainable habits, and
long-term.
Weight loss.
I'm your host, Anne Jones,certified life coach and fitness
professional for over 15 years.
(00:21):
Here to help you break free frominconsistency, overwhelm, and
burnout, build strength, feelconfident, af, and lose weight
without obsessing or stressingover weight loss, no bs, just
simple sustainable strategies.
Let's dive in.
Hey friend.
Hello.
Welcome back to the podcast.
Okay.
If Summer has you reaching fortortilla chips, wine cookies,
(00:46):
the second that stress hits thisepisode is your reset.
Emotional eating is incrediblycommon and it is not a character
flaw.
So here's some things that Iwant you to know about emotional
eating.
It is research correlated withobesity and being overweight.
It is not the only reason thatsome people may carry extra
weight.
(01:06):
It is not, obviously, the onlything correlated with obesity or
being overweight.
People who have never struggledwith their weight, also
emotionally eat.
I've definitely emotionallyeaten at times when I was not
overweight or obese.
Emotional eating is notdisordered eating, but it can
lead to disordered eating whenit becomes your default coping
(01:28):
strategy, coping mechanism, oras we call it, in muscles and
mindset, SPB, self-protectivebehavio Now I have heard that my
absence has been noted.
So if you're wondering why thisepisode is coming out a little
later than usual in the week,it's because May was wild y'all.
And super fun.
I.
Met my mastermind in Nashvillewhere I was like soaking up
(01:49):
goodness with them.
And then I flew home and prettymuch immediately hosted our
first ever live event here onthe Sunshine Coast for our
muscles and mindset clients,which was so fulfilling and so
fun.
And then we launched Summer60,which is our annual eight week
fitness and accountabilityprogram, which is now officially
underway.
Although if you did miss out onSummer60, I will have.
(02:11):
Another option coming for you injust a day or two.
So make sure that you're on myemail list via the link in the
show notes here.
So whether you're new or youfound me through Summer60, or
our recent strong Her challenge,welcome and if you are a loyal
listener, thank you for beingpatient while I catch my breath.
So today's episode is for thewoman who's not looking for
(02:33):
another diet plan.
She's looking for peace.
She's looking for self-trust,and she's looking to feel ease
in her body again.
So let's dive in.
Real quick, this episode issponsored by Muscles and
Mindset.
Muscles and Mindset is mysignature fitness mindset and
nutrition coaching program wherewe help clients integrate this
work long term with coachingsupport every step of the way.
(02:54):
And you can always apply via thelink in the show notes.
Okay.
Emotional eating, part one.
I eat because I'm unhappy andI'm unhappy because I eat.
That line from Fat Bastard inAustin Powers.
If you are a millennial, youwill know.
It's funny because it's true,right?
It's funny because it's MikeMeyers, and it's funny because
it's true, but emotional eatingis not about weakness.
(03:17):
It is not about being lazy andit's definitely not about
needing more discipline.
The real question is whatproblem are we actually dealing
with?
There are a few things that itcould be it could be food
addiction, which is chemical,neurological, and less common
than we, than people think Itcould be binge eating disorder,
which is diagnosable andpsychological, and again, far
(03:39):
less common than emotionaleating, which is the most common
and often the mostmisunderstood.
Most of the women who we workwith are dealing with emotional
eating, so common, right?
We honestly all emotionally eatat one time or another.
Most of the women who we workwith are not eating three fast
food meals a day.
They're not addicted to sugar.
Even if they have been led tobelieve that.
(04:01):
They are either truly hungry orstuck in a loop.
Emotion, food, guilt, repeatemotion, food, guilt, repeat.
Does it sound familiar?
please remember we're gonna talkabout this a little bit more,
but emotion can be literallyanything.
It can be anger, sadness,frustration.
I would say stress is the mostcommon one, which is why we want
(04:22):
to integrate other stressmanagement techniques.
But it can also be boredom.
Boredom eating is stillemotional eating.
And then it's emotion to theeating, to the guilt, which
remembering the differencebetween guilt and shame.
Guilt is, I did something bad orthe thought I did something
wrong.
Shame becomes when it's like Iam wrong.
There is something wrong withme, which I do see often with
(04:44):
emotional eating as well as itdoes, it can lead into shame, as
can many self-protectivebehaviours.
Okay, part two, why restrictionactually makes emotional eating
worse.
So you try to fix it, right?
So you say, I'm an emotionaleater.
I eat when I'm stressed, Iperhaps you binge eat, or it's
just a little bit of emotionaleating or whatever.
What I see most often is you tryto fix it, you cut carbs.
(05:07):
You start another meal plan oryou look for the correct meal
plan, or you square off sugarAgain, no sugar, no, no sweets.
Here's the kicker.
Restriction actually feedsemotional eating.
It's actually making the problemworse.
Restriction for emotional eatingis actually like trying to put
out a fire with.
Gasoline because emotionaleating isn't about food.
(05:28):
It's about regulation.
It is your nervous systemlooking for a way to feel better
fast.
Right.
I think that probably speaks toyou.
You feel uncomfortable.
You feel the emotion.
You feel bored, you feelstressed, you feel sad, you feel
lonely.
You eat to feel better fast, toavoid discomfort, which is the
reason that we do many thingsthat we do, including all the
(05:50):
SPBs self-protective behaviours.
AKA are coping mechanisms.
Now when we label that responseas bad or weak, that is when we
layer on shame.
And nothing good grows fromshame.
And shame is more challenging toget away from than simply the
thought, that happened.
(06:10):
Or I did that or I ate that.
Shame starts to become like apart of us.
And it is quote unquote fixable,which is what we're talking
about today.
So that leads me to part three,which is that the real work to
eliminating emotional eatingbegins with your thoughts.
So here's what we teach insidemuscles and mindset and just to
be clear, if you don't alreadyknow, I have a fitness
(06:33):
background.
I have a life coachingbackground, and I have two
amazing full-time coaches on myteam who work with our clients
inside muscles and mindset.
And coach Natalie is, has been anutritionist for many years and
she has her own nutritionjourney and story and she is a
holistic nutritionist, so she isexcellent at looking at the big
(06:54):
picture.
And then Coach Taylor is amoderation 365 nutrition coach.
And moderation 365 is a.
Nutrition psychologycertification produced by my
business coach and mentor, JillColeman.
And I actually gifted it toTaylor.
I put her through it because itspoke so well to both of us
(07:14):
because I am all aboutmoderation.
I'm not about eliminationforever, black and white.
I'm like all the things fit.
And Taylor loved it too.
And I put her through it.
And now that is what she doeswith clients, which is very much
all foods fit, everything inmoderation, learning to listen
to hunger cues.
And so inside muscles andmindset, we actually have a 10
(07:35):
step nutrition protocol and itbrings in nervous system
regulation, some concepts ofintuitive eating, nutrition,
education, macros, and micros.
Education.
I love to blend all the thingsthat we have because I really
think that we can only heal theanything to do with our habits
at the level of the body.
(07:55):
And we still need the science,the nuts and bolts, the
nutrition education, right?
So that's what we do inside themuscles and mindset.
10 step nutrition method, andI'm gonna share a little bit of
it with you right now.
And so inside muscles andmindset, whenever we're coaching
or I'm coaching a client onanything behaviour or habit
related or even just a thought,your act, we always start with
the thought.
(08:16):
Your actions begin with yourthoughts.
The circumstance is just a thingthat is happening.
We often allow our circumstanceto dictate our actions, our
feelings, and our mood, but ourcircumstance is actually just a
thing that's happening.
The thought that we have aboutthe circumstance is what causes
us to have a feeling, whichcauses us to have an action
which creates our result.
(08:36):
And this is what I walk ourclients through.
So, there's a circumstance likesomething happened, your boss
yelled at you, you have athought, I'm an asshole.
I suck.
Whatever makes you feelstressed.
You emotionally eat, you get aresult, right?
Which is either just like yourdigestion sucks.
Perhaps over time you gainweight, or it becomes a spiral
like we talked about of you.
(08:57):
Like go into guilt.
That's a new emotion.
Then you emotionally eat again,it starts a whole spiral.
That's just one example, right?
But what I really want to comeback to is that your actions
start with your thoughts.
Most of us are having the same,I believe it's 60,000 thoughts.
Every day we're having the same60,000 thoughts on repeat today
as we did yesterday, and ifthose thoughts sound like I
can't stick to anything I'vealready screwed up, might as
(09:21):
well just eat more.
Like, what's the point?
I just need to lose 10 poundsand then I'll be happy.
Then of course, you'll feel outof control.
Right, but this is the realwork, actually not eliminating
chocolate, although we mighthave to do that for a short
amount of time if that's atrigger food.
But in the long term, that's notthe answer.
But shifting how you think andfeel in the moments that trigger
(09:43):
the urge to emotionally eat.
Part four.
Feel your feelings without usingfood as a buffer.
And today we're talking aboutfood, but as I mentioned, there
is a laundry list ofself-protective behaviours.
Addiction shopping, porn,exercise, alcohol, drugs.
Fidgeting, overworking,caretaking, procrastination.
A billion things that you canuse as a buffer, as a
(10:05):
self-protective behaviour.
Today we just happen to betalking about using food'cause
it's a super common one andsocially acceptable.
This is something I was actuallytalking to Coach Taylor about
right before this is like, we'retaught, we're taught to do this.
We're taught societally.
How many movies, particularly inmy generation, include a breakup
and a tub of ice cream?
(10:26):
Right?
It still happens.
I saw it on for all mankind lastnight.
She gave a bad interview.
She's eating a tub of ice cream,which is fine.
I, I'm just pointing that out tosay that it is something that we
are taught.
We're sad and we eat, we'restressed and we eat.
We see it everywhere, but.
Here's a wild idea that we arenot taught, and it is that you
(10:50):
actually don't need to battleyour feelings.
You just need to notice them.
So we teach our clients insidemuscles and mindset to ask a few
simple questions.
This is specifically around foodand emotional eating.
If you could ask yourself thesethree specific questions, it
would take you a long way.
Am I physically hungry rightnow?
Now this is a tough one causeagain.
(11:12):
What are we taught?
We're not taught generally howto feel our hunger cues and feel
our fullness cues.
We are taught that just eatingless is ideal.
Eating certain things are ideal.
Eating certain things are goodand certain things are bad.
Like we're taught all of thesethings outside of our bodies,
which train us to get out oftouch with our.
(11:32):
Hunger cues.
And then again, if you're infrom my generation, all the
magazines when I was a teenagerand a young woman were like,
ways to not be hungry.
Drink some water, chew some gum.
Just don't be hungry.
So we were literally taught tooverride our body's cues.
It's kind of crazy.
(11:52):
So.
You may need to relearn how tofeel those hunger and fullness
cues.
And again, this is somethingthat we do frequently with our
clients is like getting in touchwith how the body feels.
Are we hungry or is this someother kind of discomfort or
digestion or pain?
Are we full?
Do we know?
And it requires some slowdownand some safety in our body to
(12:13):
even get there.
So.
It's a different practice than Ithink people realize.
'cause everyone's out herelooking for the diet and the
meal plan, not listening totheir body, which has all the
wisdom that you literally need.
So that first question I wantyou to ask is, am I physically
hungry right now?
Do I even know what that feelslike?
The second question, when did Ilast eat?
(12:34):
This is a reasonable question,right?
If it was an hour ago whenyou're hungry, like I'm not
gonna say that you're not goingto eat again, but that's good
information and biofeedbackabout your last meal, that's an
opportunity to audit your lastmeal or snack because your meals
and snacks should be epic andfull of protein and satiety.
They should hold you over and ifthey are not, that is an
(12:54):
opportunity to audit what youare eating.
And then the third question Iwant you to ask is, what am I
actually feeling?
So for many of us, whatever ourself-protective behaviour is,
often it's to eat or to checkour phone, right?
This is a very common one that Iwork with with clients what am I
actually feeling?
And this is not aboutoveranalyzing or navel gazing.
(13:15):
It is about.
Awareness because we cannotchange the behaviour if we don't
notice what's happening first.
So something that our coacheswill sometimes do with clients
is, is a mood and food journal.
So sure we can.
Track food in the way that wecan write down like what we are
eating or we can, you know, we,I'm not here for like specific
(13:35):
tracking, restrictive macros,but we can track our food to see
what we are eating and audit.
Like I mentioned before, we canalso do a food and mood journal.
So what did I eat?
What was I feeling when I ateit?
How did my body feel after?
And then even maybe like whendid I get hungry again?
This is great information.
It's get this teaches you to getto know your body, whereas
(13:58):
tracking in a specific macroscount takes us out of the body.
That requires no tune in otherthan maybe like, what do I feel
like eating that fits into mymacros?
So that's not to say there's noplace for macro tracking.
But it's from a different lensversus this is all we have.
It's more like, this is what'shappening.
(14:19):
How is it making me feel, and isit working because your body
truly knows.
So instead of pushing feelingsdown or punishing yourself with
an extra cardio session, I wantyou to ask yourself, what would
feel nourishing right now?
Maybe it's protein.
Maybe it's a cry.
Maybe it's a nap.
Maybe it's a walk with musicblaring in your ears, or a
podcast or calling a friend orsunshine, touch grass as they
(14:43):
say.
But when we don't pause to askthis question, we go to what we
were taught or what our habitis, which very often is food,
caretaking, overworking,nagging, whatever the thing is.
Part five, unlock the happychemicals without using food
alone.
So let's talk biology real quickhere.
(15:04):
Food gives us dopamine fast, anddopamine is known as like the
motivation, anticipation,hormone.
It's actually not, some peoplecall it like the happy hormone,
but it's actually more theanticipation hormone.
We put out dopamine where we'relike expecting or anticipating
something, but there are otherways to feel good and create
(15:25):
this excitement and anticipationthat don't create a guilt spiral
and don't create, digestionissues or weight gain.
So here's your little cheatsheet.
if your mood is unstable, so youtune in and you're like, oh, a
little moody, you might becraving serotonin.
Serotonin is provided bysunlight.
So that's why I say you need togo outside, walk in nature,
(15:48):
listen to music.
If you are looking for thereward, right, the anticipation
of the reward, that is dopamine.
So finishing a task, notfinishing all of your tasks, but
finishing one task, doingsomething maybe with music,
celebrating your wins, sharing awin with a friend or a
community.
Eating a nutrient rich food.
A reward.
That will give you a dopaminehit without just open-end
(16:12):
emotional eating.
If you're craving connection,you are craving oxytocin.
You need to cuddle, you need tohug someone, you need to play
with your pet.
You need to call a friend.
If you don't have someone tohug, you can do a ventral self
hug.
One hand on your shoulder,opposite hand on your rib cage,
giving yourself a hug, rockingback and forth.
Excellent for your nervoussystem.
(16:33):
You can do it to yourself.
If you are in pain, likephysical pain, chronic pain, you
need endorphins, you need alaugh, you gotta watch a funny
movie.
I go to my explore feed for,this is all I go to my explore
feed for.
I am not a scroller on Instagramand certainly not on Facebook,
but I've kind of trained myexplore feed to be full of like
chicken and dog videos, which Idon't generally spend hours
(16:56):
scrolling.
But if I need a hit, I will goto it and have a good laugh and
share it with the mostappropriate friends.
Dance to a song, go to a danceclass.
Do a virtual dance class.
Move your body.
Eat some spicy food that willgive you endorphins, you know,
go on an uphill walk.
that's kind of a little cheatsheet so that you know how to
meet your own needs, becauseemotional eating is just an
(17:17):
attempt to meet a need that'snot getting met by the body.
But we know sometimes food makesus feel better real fast.
So like that becomes our go-to.
But there are many, many, many,many, many, many other ways to
meet your need better that isfor your highest good.
Part six.
You've heard me say it before.
You're gonna hear me Say itagain.
(17:38):
Progress not perfection.
Progress not perfection.
Let's be honest.
You will still emotionally eatsometimes.
I told you I've done it.
It doesn't mean that you failed.
It means you are human having ahuman experience.
We're gonna need some compassionhere.
You will also miss workouts.
You will lie on the couchsometimes.
Sometimes you'll feel tired.
You'll have your period.
Sometimes you'll feel tired whenyou don't have your period.
(17:58):
Sometimes you will eat thecookie and not want the salad.
You just will not feel like it.
That doesn't mean it'sself-sabotage.
That means it's life.
And that's actually a good cuewhen it happens.
It's happening sometimes thatyou are in your body and you are
having a human experience andyou are regulated.
This is the things that myclients experience like they
(18:19):
tell me I am not having cravingsanymore.
I would say within a few weeksthrough the muscles and mindset
nutrition protocol, clients whowere having sugar cravings,
pasta, carb cravings are gone.
Because they're meeting theirneed in another way.
They're more in tune with thebody and they will get that
craving when they're in Italyfor pasta.
Or they will on a hot day, havea craving for orange sherbet or
(18:43):
whatever.
When they get very specific likethat.
That's you really listeningrather than just anything,
carbs, sugar, sweet.
All the time.
So that's a good, likedifferentiator.
All that to say, the broadgeneral consistent cravings will
go away and the very specificfun cravings will show up you
(19:03):
will honor them and cool, that'slife.
That's the point.
What matters is can you keepshowing up the next day, even if
you're doing it from a place ofemotionally eating, you eat the
thing.
Can you show up the next daystepping into the person who you
want to become?
What would she do?
You do not have to wait tillMonday.
You don't have to wait till July1st.
Tomorrow, you can do it rightnow.
You don't have to call the restof the day a wash.
(19:25):
Can you choose to feel yourfeelings instead of attempt to
fix them with food or whateveryour other self-protective
behaviour is?
That's the muscle that we arebuilding.
That's the muscle that we arestrengthening the capacity to do
this is already in you.
You are just taught that it'snot, you don't know.
You don't have the tools.
Someone else knows your bodybetter than you.
(19:45):
You don't need another food ruleactually.
You don't need more shame.
You don't need to feel bad aboutthe things that you eat or the
things that you want to eat.
You need to believe that yourbody and your brain are not
working against you.
They are trying to keep yousafe.
When you have a craving, whenyou wanna emotionally eat that
is your brain trying to keep yousafe.
Your brain's priority is keepingyou safe and comfortable.
(20:07):
Safe and comfortable, but it'slike it's just a organ.
It doesn't have all theinformation, so you have to
rewire it and train it to keepyou safe when you're truly in
danger only.
And you will have to challengeit to push you out of your
comfort zone.
'cause it will always come backto what's comfortable and
habitual.
So the next time you feel thaturge to eat the snack when
(20:30):
you're not actually hungry.
Try this.
Can you just see it?
Can you just pause?
See the thought that you'rehaving?
Oh, I'm thinking that I want toeat that thing.
Oh, what am I feeling right now?
Because is it related to thisfeeling?
Sit with it even for 10 seconds.
Two minutes if you can.
10 seconds is great.
Ask, like, what do you actuallyneed?
Are you just bored?
(20:50):
And this is not from like adiety place of like, don't be
hungry, right?
This is if, if you're trulyhungry, fucking like go eat.
But if you are not, if you'rebored or lonely or stressed or
whatever, what is the feeling?
Can you sit with it?
Eyes closed, see what else comesup?
Ask what do I actually need?
(21:11):
What would feel nourishing?
And then choose next from love,not lack or fear.
Choose from love.
So if you really want the orangesorbet, cool.
Have the orange sorbet.
Is it coming from a place oflove and like desire or stress
and anxiety?
Or if you really don't want,your grandmother's offering you
cake and you really don't wantit.
Cool.
Is that coming from a place oflove?
(21:32):
Like you really, your bodydoesn't want it?
Or are you afraid of the cake?
Because those things aredifferent.
Always leading from love, notlack, or fear.
This is the real way through.
And if you wanna dive deeperinto this work, this is
literally what we do insidemuscles and mindset.
This is where we teach this stepby step.
We have a 10 step system.
You get personalized nutritioncoaching with one of our
(21:52):
certified nutrition coaches.
You get fitness trainingprograms designed specifically
for your life and the mindsettools to create real change.
No guilt, no food obsession,just sustainable results that
stick.
You can always apply to musclesand mindset via the link in the
show notes.
We would love to support you.
And that's all that I have foryou guys, today, but this is a
(22:14):
big one, so I would love to hearyour feedback.
Please leave a five star reviewor share this episode if they
spoke to you or someone who youlove.
Thank you so much and I'll catchyou next time.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.