September 22, 2025 • 11 mins
If your mood tanks when your bank account dips… or your confidence crumbles after a bloated day… this episode is for you. 💥
In this powerful episode of The Muscles & Mindset Revolution, I’m unpacking why so many ambitious women ride an emotional rollercoaster based on their circumstances — and how to shift into unshakeable inner stability instead.
You’ll hear why we freak out about money, our bodies, our relationships — and how that same anxious attachment shows up everywhere. I’m sharing personal stories, client examples, and the exact mindset shifts that help my clients go from spiralling to self-trust.
We’re covering:
✨ The real reason you panic when the scale or bank balance changes
✨ Why anxious attachment to outcomes keeps you stuck
✨ How to feel safe, strong, and grounded no matter what’s happening around you
✨ What it actually means to stop outsourcing your confidence — and start owning it
This isn’t just a mindset pep talk — it’s a permission slip to finally stop chasing perfection and start living from a place of peace, power, and presence.
💙 Loved this episode? DM me on Instagram @annejonesfit and tell me what landed.
💪 Ready for lasting change? Learn more about my Muscles & Mindset coaching at https://musclesandmindset.ca/
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Ready to build strength, feel confident AF, and lose fat without obsessing or stressing over it? [Apply to Join the Muscles & Mindset program here].
Connect With Me:
• Instagram: [@annejonesfit]
• Website: [https://www.annejonescoaching.ca/]
• YouTube: [https://www.youtube.com/@annejones]
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the Muscles andMindset Revolution, the podcast
(00:03):
for ambitious women who want tobuild strength, feel confident
af, and lose fat for good,without counting calories or bs.
Quick fixes.
Jones, certified life coach,personal trainer and mindset
expert, and after 15 plus yearsin the fitness industry, I know
the real key to lasting changeisn't just what you do, it's how
you think.
If you're ready to shift yourmindset, build a lifestyle you
(00:25):
love and feel confident af youare in the right place.
Let's dive in.
All right, y'all, let me paint apicture for you.
You wake up.
And you check your bank accountonline, it's higher than
expected.
You feel amazing.
You're like, I'm so ballin' Igot so much money.
You're already dreaming of yournext vacation or splurging on a
new fall jacket.
(00:45):
I've done this.
Okay?
And after coaching hundreds ofambitious women over the past 15
years, I have seen this exactpattern play out again and
again.
We think we're being strategic,we think we're being
disciplined, but more often thannot, we're just reacting from
fear, from anxiety, from thisdeeper belief that if the number
changes, we're not okay, or ifthe number changes, we will be
(01:06):
okay.
But then a week later, you payall your bills and you check
your account again, and it'sdipped.
There was an unexpected expense,an unexpected bill, a tight
month.
Suddenly you are spiraling,right?
Oh my gosh, I need to go on a,we call them an austerity
program, a spending freeze.
What if I never make enoughmoney again?
What if I never have enoughmoney?
What if I can't do anything?
I shouldn't have bought thatthing.
(01:27):
I need to fix this.
Does this sound familiar?
I say this with so much love,and I only know this because
I've done it and I've seenclients do it, and it's not just
with money.
I'm gonna give you otherparallel and tie this back to
your health and fitness journey.
But if this sounds familiar, ifyou are the type of person who
wigs out when your bank accountbalance drops or you go on a
(01:47):
spending spree because you'refeeling flesh, you're probably
also the kind of person whoreacts this way.: When your body
changes, you're probably alsothe kind of person who, if you
weigh yourself and it's down,you feel on top of the world.
If your weight is down, maybeyou feel like, oh, I've earned
this.
I can Eat this thing, or maybenot, but on a day that you feel
bloated or puffy or the scalehas gone up a little bit, you
(02:10):
spiral, you panic, you restrict,you start Googling a detox or a
diet or asking about GLP 1s,what you should be doing again.
Yeah.
The reason I know this isbecause I've seen these patterns
in myself and in clientspreviously.
And after coaching hundreds ofambitious women over the past 15
years, I have seen this exactpattern play out again and
(02:31):
again.
We think we're being strategic,we think we're being
disciplined, but more often thannot, we're just reacting from
fear, from anxiety, from thisdeeper belief that if the number
changes we will be okay.
We are anxiously attached to theoutcome, and it's not just
money.
It's not just your body.
You'll notice now if this is apattern for you that it shows up
(02:52):
everywhere.
Your kid is having a bad day,you feel like a bad mom.
This must be something youdidn't teach them, or because
you are not spending enough timewith them.
When you go a few weeks withouthaving sex with your partner,
you spiral.
I must be gross.
They're not attracted to me.
I have to do something to fixthis.
When your body looks or feelsdifferent for a day or two, you
(03:13):
make it mean something aboutyour worth and you go looking
for a way to fix it.
So can you see?
Now, if you do this in more thanone area of life, it's probably
not that area of life and it'sprobably not you.
It's probably just the way thatyou're thinking about and
approaching it.
Because here's the thing, whenyou attach your emotions to
external circumstances, acircumstance is a thing that
(03:33):
happens.
Which we usually cannot control,right?
And if we are tying our emotionsand our okayness to
circumstances, we will always beat the mercy of things we can't
control.
It can always be taken away fromyou if you're only, okay.
If your relationship is perfect,your parenting is perfect, your
body is perfect, you have acertain amount of money.
(03:54):
Your okayness can always betaken away from you.
You'll ping pong between hypercontrol and emotional chaos.
For example, my pants feeltight.
I'm disgusting.
I need to start over, or I needto do more.
He didn't text me back rightaway.
He must be pulling away.
He's distancing.
Something is happening, or Igained five pounds.
(04:15):
I need to fix this immediately.
I need to eat less, do more.
Something to fix thisimmediately.
If the scale or your bankaccount has the power to ruin
your day, you are giving yourpower away.
And I didn't use to understandwhat that meant until I learned
that I was responsible for myemotions, my feelings, and my
(04:35):
thoughts.
So let's reframe this.
What if all of this is justdata, the market dips?
It always does.
Your bank account fluctuates.
It always does.
Your body changes.
It's supposed to.
Your kid has a hard day, yourkid has a good day.
That's being human.
And what if none of that meansanything about you?
(04:56):
What if you could feel calm,confident, and secure regardless
of the number on the scale,regardless of fighting with your
best friend, regardless of thesize of your savings account?
That is when everything changes.
I literally just had aconversation with a client about
this this morning.
I'm getting on a coaching callwith her next week, and she was
reminding me of this time lastyear she had an interpersonal
(05:16):
conflict with a close friend andit completely derailed her.
She was losing sleep.
She couldn't think aboutanything else.
She was totally panicking.
Which I can relate to.
I've been in that level ofanxiety I have, and that's how
I, that's how I had to learn howto get out of it.
I was talking to her today.
We were talking about ourupcoming call and she was
saying, I don't know if youremember this thing that
happened last year.
And I was like, of course.
I remember.
And then she explained that asimilar interpersonal thing
(05:37):
happened this past weekend.
And she was like, you know, theyblew up.
And I blew up and he cried and Icried and then I left.
And like I was fine.
I was unfazed.
Because circumstances canhappen, but she knows how to
manage her stress.
Now.
Her capacity and resilience aregreater, and she doesn't take
that with her making it meananything about her.
She has that skill.
(05:58):
I just wanna use that as anexample.
That is possible.
It's possible for it to feeleasy.
That is the number one thingthat I love to hear my clients
say, which is the mosttransformative, is like, oh, I
get it now.
And the best part is it's askill.
It's not a personality trait.
It's something we can learn andI can teach you, you can learn.
Like it feels easy.
Food feels easy.
(06:19):
Fitness feels easy.
Relationships feel easier.
That's when everything changesbecause the pattern that keeps
you stuck is when you'reconstantly reacting to every
little shift, a shift in yourbody, a shift in your finances,
a shift in your relationship, ashift in your career, a shift in
your family.
That's how we stay stuck inhustle mode.
(06:39):
We obsess over fixing thecircumstance.
More cardio, less food, morecontrol, more money work, more,
more clients.
But what we're actually lookingfor is more safety, more
self-trust, more capacity toride the wave without making it
mean that we have failed orthere is something wrong with
us.
This is something that I'vetaught since the very first
episode of this podcast and longbefore.
(07:01):
It's not your circumstance thatcreates the result.
No, it is not your body or thebikini or your weight that makes
you feel confident.
It is your thoughts about thecircumstance.
It is the thoughts aboutyourself.
your body is not the problem.
Your money is not the problem.
Your relationship with moneymight be the problem that keeps
bringing this up for you.
Your relationship with your bodymight be the problem that keeps
bringing this up for you.
(07:21):
Your partner, your kid, yourschedule time.
None of it is the problem.
The problem is when you letthose things dictate your
identity, your worth, and howyou show up.
cause you get to decide if it'sa problem, really.
Like what is.
What is a problem.
What is a problem?
This is what stability lookslike.
True stability does not comefrom having a certain number in
your bank account or a certainnumber on the scale.
It comes from knowing I canhandle it.
(07:42):
This is one of the most powerfulthings that I learned, and I
still practice in letting go ofperfectionism, in letting go of
control because we have nocontrol.
What a joke.
To think that we can controlanything in the universe.
The peace comes from knowing Ican handle it, I can handle it.
That might not go how I want andI can handle it.
I can live with it because Itrust myself.
That is emotional regulation.
(08:03):
That is nervous system work.
That is identity work.
The woman who feels the way youwanna feel so you won't feel
confident?
How does the confident abundantversion of you speak about
herself and think about herself?
It's about being able tofactually look at yourself and
being like, oh man, I'm a littlebloated today.
Cool.
I'm still gonna work out.
Yeah, my finances are tightright now.
That doesn't mean that I can'ttrust myself.
(08:24):
That does not mean they'recoming back up.
I've been through this beforeand I've dealt with Yeah.
I'm feeling a little off and I'mstill me.
I know how to get through this.
I've done this before.
I trust myself.
So if you feel like you are pingponging with.
Your body, your diet, yourworkout routine.
If you constantly need a resultto feel okay about yourself and
(08:45):
watch yourself doing this too,especially because we have so
much access to data andtechnology.
Now, again, I only know this'cause I've done this myself.
If you go looking to an app totell you if you're okay, like
you go, you look at your sleepapp, how was my sleep You, your
workouts, your step count, yourbank account, your heart rate,
all the apps, all the trackingthat we have, if you constantly
(09:08):
need that result to feel okayabout yourself, you're gonna be
chasing it forever.
If you find yourself spiraling,the second something feels off,
that is the exact moment to stopoutsourcing your safety.
You don't need another diet.
You might need some nutritionhelp, but you don't need another
diet for you to be okay.
You don't need more control foryou to be okay.
(09:29):
You need to anchor in who youare regardless of what's
happening around you.
the circumstances are happeningfor you to learn this lesson.
They're not happening to you.
I, again, I want you to know somuch love.
I only know this because I'vebeen through this.
I've done this work, and that iswhy I feel so passionately about
sharing it.
This is the work that we doinside muscles and mindset every
(09:50):
single day.
And not just workouts and foodcoaching and meal plans, but the
mindset and nervous system workthat makes this stick that I
know works that my clients knowworks.
Okay.
And let me tell you, when awoman.
Becomes safe in her body.
Her power is untouchable.
Her potential is untouchable.
Her confidence is unshakeable.
(10:11):
So let this be your simplereminder that circumstances are
going to change.
I want you to start to noticehow you react to them.
The weather changes.
Hormones change.
We aging, children gettingolder, bank balance changing,
relationships evolving.
How are you responding andreacting?
Because you get to decide howyou respond.
(10:33):
You get to decide who you areregardless.
Are you going to continue to bethe type of person who keeps
chasing an outcome?
Who's only okay when thecircumstances are perfect
because that is truly never.
If you begin to lead with howyou want to feel, confident,
secure, abundant, strong,grounded, wealthy, hot, whatever
it is, the results take care ofthemselves because when you lead
(10:54):
with that feeling, you actdifferently and then you create
your result.
So let me leave you with this.
When you stop outsourcing yoursafety and start leading with
how you want to feel, everythingshifts.
You build consistency, you buildstrength, you build trust in
yourself, and you become thewoman who trusts herself no
matter what.
(11:14):
I would love to hear yourthoughts on this.
So I would love for you to DM meon Instagram at@annejonesfit.
Tell me if this hit at all foryou.
If you can relate to it, I wouldlove to hear.
And if you are loving thepodcast, welcome back.
It means so much when you leavea five star review.
I know it seems silly and takesa minute, but it helps the show
to get seen, to get out thereand so that I can help people,
(11:35):
absolutely for free.
thank you so much for beinghere.
Have a wonderful week, and Iwill see you next week.
Welcome to the Muscles andMindset Revolution, the podcast
(00:03):
for ambitious women who want tobuild strength, feel confident
af, and lose fat for good,without counting calories or bs.
Quick fixes.
Jones, certified life coach,personal trainer and mindset
expert, and after 15 plus yearsin the fitness industry, I know
the real key to lasting changeisn't just what you do, it's how
you think.
If you're ready to shift yourmindset, build a lifestyle you
(00:25):
love and feel confident af youare in the right place.
Let's dive in.
All right, y'all, let me paint apicture for you.
You wake up.
And you check your bank accountonline, it's higher than
expected.
You feel amazing.
You're like, I'm so ballin' Igot so much money.
You're already dreaming of yournext vacation or splurging on a
new fall jacket.
(00:45):
I've done this.
Okay?
And after coaching hundreds ofambitious women over the past 15
years, I have seen this exactpattern play out again and
again.
We think we're being strategic,we think we're being
disciplined, but more often thannot, we're just reacting from
fear, from anxiety, from thisdeeper belief that if the number
changes, we're not okay, or ifthe number changes, we will be
(01:06):
okay.
But then a week later, you payall your bills and you check
your account again, and it'sdipped.
There was an unexpected expense,an unexpected bill, a tight
month.
Suddenly you are spiraling,right?
Oh my gosh, I need to go on a,we call them an austerity
program, a spending freeze.
What if I never make enoughmoney again?
What if I never have enoughmoney?
What if I can't do anything?
I shouldn't have bought thatthing.
(01:27):
I need to fix this.
Does this sound familiar?
I say this with so much love,and I only know this because
I've done it and I've seenclients do it, and it's not just
with money.
I'm gonna give you otherparallel and tie this back to
your health and fitness journey.
But if this sounds familiar, ifyou are the type of person who
wigs out when your bank accountbalance drops or you go on a
(01:47):
spending spree because you'refeeling flesh, you're probably
also the kind of person whoreacts this way.: When your body
changes, you're probably alsothe kind of person who, if you
weigh yourself and it's down,you feel on top of the world.
If your weight is down, maybeyou feel like, oh, I've earned
this.
I can Eat this thing, or maybenot, but on a day that you feel
bloated or puffy or the scalehas gone up a little bit, you
(02:10):
spiral, you panic, you restrict,you start Googling a detox or a
diet or asking about GLP 1s,what you should be doing again.
Yeah.
The reason I know this isbecause I've seen these patterns
in myself and in clientspreviously.
And after coaching hundreds ofambitious women over the past 15
years, I have seen this exactpattern play out again and
(02:31):
again.
We think we're being strategic,we think we're being
disciplined, but more often thannot, we're just reacting from
fear, from anxiety, from thisdeeper belief that if the number
changes we will be okay.
We are anxiously attached to theoutcome, and it's not just
money.
It's not just your body.
You'll notice now if this is apattern for you that it shows up
(02:52):
everywhere.
Your kid is having a bad day,you feel like a bad mom.
This must be something youdidn't teach them, or because
you are not spending enough timewith them.
When you go a few weeks withouthaving sex with your partner,
you spiral.
I must be gross.
They're not attracted to me.
I have to do something to fixthis.
When your body looks or feelsdifferent for a day or two, you
(03:13):
make it mean something aboutyour worth and you go looking
for a way to fix it.
So can you see?
Now, if you do this in more thanone area of life, it's probably
not that area of life and it'sprobably not you.
It's probably just the way thatyou're thinking about and
approaching it.
Because here's the thing, whenyou attach your emotions to
external circumstances, acircumstance is a thing that
(03:33):
happens.
Which we usually cannot control,right?
And if we are tying our emotionsand our okayness to
circumstances, we will always beat the mercy of things we can't
control.
It can always be taken away fromyou if you're only, okay.
If your relationship is perfect,your parenting is perfect, your
body is perfect, you have acertain amount of money.
(03:54):
Your okayness can always betaken away from you.
You'll ping pong between hypercontrol and emotional chaos.
For example, my pants feeltight.
I'm disgusting.
I need to start over, or I needto do more.
He didn't text me back rightaway.
He must be pulling away.
He's distancing.
Something is happening, or Igained five pounds.
(04:15):
I need to fix this immediately.
I need to eat less, do more.
Something to fix thisimmediately.
If the scale or your bankaccount has the power to ruin
your day, you are giving yourpower away.
And I didn't use to understandwhat that meant until I learned
that I was responsible for myemotions, my feelings, and my
(04:35):
thoughts.
So let's reframe this.
What if all of this is justdata, the market dips?
It always does.
Your bank account fluctuates.
It always does.
Your body changes.
It's supposed to.
Your kid has a hard day, yourkid has a good day.
That's being human.
And what if none of that meansanything about you?
(04:56):
What if you could feel calm,confident, and secure regardless
of the number on the scale,regardless of fighting with your
best friend, regardless of thesize of your savings account?
That is when everything changes.
I literally just had aconversation with a client about
this this morning.
I'm getting on a coaching callwith her next week, and she was
reminding me of this time lastyear she had an interpersonal
(05:16):
conflict with a close friend andit completely derailed her.
She was losing sleep.
She couldn't think aboutanything else.
She was totally panicking.
Which I can relate to.
I've been in that level ofanxiety I have, and that's how
I, that's how I had to learn howto get out of it.
I was talking to her today.
We were talking about ourupcoming call and she was
saying, I don't know if youremember this thing that
happened last year.
And I was like, of course.
I remember.
And then she explained that asimilar interpersonal thing
(05:37):
happened this past weekend.
And she was like, you know, theyblew up.
And I blew up and he cried and Icried and then I left.
And like I was fine.
I was unfazed.
Because circumstances canhappen, but she knows how to
manage her stress.
Now.
Her capacity and resilience aregreater, and she doesn't take
that with her making it meananything about her.
She has that skill.
(05:58):
I just wanna use that as anexample.
That is possible.
It's possible for it to feeleasy.
That is the number one thingthat I love to hear my clients
say, which is the mosttransformative, is like, oh, I
get it now.
And the best part is it's askill.
It's not a personality trait.
It's something we can learn andI can teach you, you can learn.
Like it feels easy.
Food feels easy.
(06:19):
Fitness feels easy.
Relationships feel easier.
That's when everything changesbecause the pattern that keeps
you stuck is when you'reconstantly reacting to every
little shift, a shift in yourbody, a shift in your finances,
a shift in your relationship, ashift in your career, a shift in
your family.
That's how we stay stuck inhustle mode.
(06:39):
We obsess over fixing thecircumstance.
More cardio, less food, morecontrol, more money work, more,
more clients.
But what we're actually lookingfor is more safety, more
self-trust, more capacity toride the wave without making it
mean that we have failed orthere is something wrong with
us.
This is something that I'vetaught since the very first
episode of this podcast and longbefore.
(07:01):
It's not your circumstance thatcreates the result.
No, it is not your body or thebikini or your weight that makes
you feel confident.
It is your thoughts about thecircumstance.
It is the thoughts aboutyourself.
your body is not the problem.
Your money is not the problem.
Your relationship with moneymight be the problem that keeps
bringing this up for you.
Your relationship with your bodymight be the problem that keeps
bringing this up for you.
(07:21):
Your partner, your kid, yourschedule time.
None of it is the problem.
The problem is when you letthose things dictate your
identity, your worth, and howyou show up.
cause you get to decide if it'sa problem, really.
Like what is.
What is a problem.
What is a problem?
This is what stability lookslike.
True stability does not comefrom having a certain number in
your bank account or a certainnumber on the scale.
It comes from knowing I canhandle it.
(07:42):
This is one of the most powerfulthings that I learned, and I
still practice in letting go ofperfectionism, in letting go of
control because we have nocontrol.
What a joke.
To think that we can controlanything in the universe.
The peace comes from knowing Ican handle it, I can handle it.
That might not go how I want andI can handle it.
I can live with it because Itrust myself.
That is emotional regulation.
(08:03):
That is nervous system work.
That is identity work.
The woman who feels the way youwanna feel so you won't feel
confident?
How does the confident abundantversion of you speak about
herself and think about herself?
It's about being able tofactually look at yourself and
being like, oh man, I'm a littlebloated today.
Cool.
I'm still gonna work out.
Yeah, my finances are tightright now.
That doesn't mean that I can'ttrust myself.
(08:24):
That does not mean they'recoming back up.
I've been through this beforeand I've dealt with Yeah.
I'm feeling a little off and I'mstill me.
I know how to get through this.
I've done this before.
I trust myself.
So if you feel like you are pingponging with.
Your body, your diet, yourworkout routine.
If you constantly need a resultto feel okay about yourself and
(08:45):
watch yourself doing this too,especially because we have so
much access to data andtechnology.
Now, again, I only know this'cause I've done this myself.
If you go looking to an app totell you if you're okay, like
you go, you look at your sleepapp, how was my sleep You, your
workouts, your step count, yourbank account, your heart rate,
all the apps, all the trackingthat we have, if you constantly
(09:08):
need that result to feel okayabout yourself, you're gonna be
chasing it forever.
If you find yourself spiraling,the second something feels off,
that is the exact moment to stopoutsourcing your safety.
You don't need another diet.
You might need some nutritionhelp, but you don't need another
diet for you to be okay.
You don't need more control foryou to be okay.
(09:29):
You need to anchor in who youare regardless of what's
happening around you.
the circumstances are happeningfor you to learn this lesson.
They're not happening to you.
I, again, I want you to know somuch love.
I only know this because I'vebeen through this.
I've done this work, and that iswhy I feel so passionately about
sharing it.
This is the work that we doinside muscles and mindset every
(09:50):
single day.
And not just workouts and foodcoaching and meal plans, but the
mindset and nervous system workthat makes this stick that I
know works that my clients knowworks.
Okay.
And let me tell you, when awoman.
Becomes safe in her body.
Her power is untouchable.
Her potential is untouchable.
Her confidence is unshakeable.
(10:11):
So let this be your simplereminder that circumstances are
going to change.
I want you to start to noticehow you react to them.
The weather changes.
Hormones change.
We aging, children gettingolder, bank balance changing,
relationships evolving.
How are you responding andreacting?
Because you get to decide howyou respond.
(10:33):
You get to decide who you areregardless.
Are you going to continue to bethe type of person who keeps
chasing an outcome?
Who's only okay when thecircumstances are perfect
because that is truly never.
If you begin to lead with howyou want to feel, confident,
secure, abundant, strong,grounded, wealthy, hot, whatever
it is, the results take care ofthemselves because when you lead
(10:54):
with that feeling, you actdifferently and then you create
your result.
So let me leave you with this.
When you stop outsourcing yoursafety and start leading with
how you want to feel, everythingshifts.
You build consistency, you buildstrength, you build trust in
yourself, and you become thewoman who trusts herself no
matter what.
(11:14):
I would love to hear yourthoughts on this.
So I would love for you to DM meon Instagram at@annejonesfit.
Tell me if this hit at all foryou.
If you can relate to it, I wouldlove to hear.
And if you are loving thepodcast, welcome back.
It means so much when you leavea five star review.
I know it seems silly and takesa minute, but it helps the show
to get seen, to get out thereand so that I can help people,
(11:35):
absolutely for free.
thank you so much for beinghere.
Have a wonderful week, and Iwill see you next week.
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