March 10, 2025 • 21 mins
Ditch the Hustle Mindset: Embrace Flow for Sustainable Success
In this episode of the Muscles and Mindset Revolution podcast, host Anne Jones explores why traditional hustle strategies fail and how to achieve success through a more effortless, flowing approach. Anne introduces the concept of the 'holy hustle' versus 'hustling for worthiness,' emphasizing the importance of self-worth, listening to your body's cues, and breaking free from the all-or-nothing mindset.
Learn how to shift your mindset to create sustainable progress, avoid burnout, and make achieving your goals feel natural and enjoyable.
Anne also teases her upcoming eight-week mindset coaching course, 'Flow,' designed to help you align with your goals and feel good while achieving them.
Get on the waitlist for Flow:
https://anne-jones.aweb.page/p/7f855eee-c6fb-4fa6-87f3-fe9afc9903a2
Join in to learn actionable steps and a powerful mindset shift for lasting success without the struggle.
00:00 Welcome to the Muscles and Mindset Revolution
00:39 Ditching the Hustle Mindset
02:17 Understanding Hustle and Worthiness
06:57 The All or Nothing Cycle
15:55 Introducing the Flow Formula
19:26 Celebrating Small Wins
21:13 Conclusion and Next Steps
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:00):
Hello, and welcome back to the muscles and mindset
(00:02):
revolution, the podcast forambitious women who want to
build strength, feel confidentAF and lose fat for good without
counting calories or BS quickfixes.
I'm your host Anne Jones,certified life coach, personal
trainer, and mindset.
After 15 plus years in thefitness industry, I know the
(00:23):
real key to lasting change isn'tjust what you do, it's how you
think.
If you're ready to shift yourmindset, build a lifestyle you
love and feel confident AF,you're in the right place.
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the show.
Today's episode is all aboutditching the hustle mindset that
so many of us get stuck in andstepping into a way of living
(00:46):
that feels effortless andflowing.
This is actually going to be ourtheme the entire month of March.
I'm so excited to share thiswith you because I know so many
of us think that we need to domore, have more willpower, more
motivation, or simply try harderwhen we're not getting what we
(01:10):
want, the result that we want,the amount of money that we
want, whatever it is that wewant, right?
But here's the thing thatchanged everything for me and
changes this for my clients.
And it might just changeeverything for you too.
Willpower and hustle are not theproblem.
The way you've been taught toapproach success is the problem.
(01:32):
This episode is going to breakdown why traditional hustle
strategies fail, how to shiftfrom forcing results to flowing
into them.
And I'm going to give you apowerful mindset shift to make
everything feel easier.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
And before we get into the mindset shift that is
going to make everything feeleasier, I want to remind you
that this is exactly what we'redoing inside flow.
If you are ready to stop forcingand start seeing results in a
way that feels effortless,you're going to love this is
eight weeks of live coachingwith me.
My five step flow formula and aprivate community off social
(02:07):
media of women who are done withburnout.
Doors are going to be opening onMarch 20th for people on the
wait list.
So get on the wait list now withthe link in the show notes.
Speaker (02:16):
Let's get into
it.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Okay, so I want to begin by saying that hustle has
a place.
Okay, so we're talking about acouple of different things here.
When I say hustle, I mean doing,doing, doing with an expectation
of worthiness.
You know, Brene Brown calls ithustling for your worthiness,
doing things to be seen, doingthings for validation, doing
(02:39):
things for other people.
With the expectation,consciously or subconsciously,
that then you will be okay.
You will be appreciated.
You will be of value.
You will be enough.
If you just do all of thesethings, get this result, look
this certain way, do all thesethings for other people, get
recognized, make a certainamount of money.
That's what I mean by hustling.
(03:00):
Okay.
So, and I can, I will explainwhy that's an endless.
I also want to acknowledge thatthere is room for What I like to
call the holy hustle.
Okay.
So the holy hustle is putting inwork, hustling and working are
(03:20):
not the same.
Working hard and hustling arenot the same.
I call the holy hustle.
Like when you gotta, when yougotta get down in business and
you know, Maybe you still have asmile on your face, you're
working your butt off, you know,you're getting up at 5am.
This is not forever though,because it's not sustainable.
The holy hustle is a period,it's a phase, it's a season
(03:42):
where you have to put in work.
For a result, you wantsomething, you got to do the
work, the hustling that we aretalking about moving away from
is the kind of hustling, thekind of doing that we do with an
expectation that we are not okaywith ourselves unless we do X,
Y, and Z.
That's the kind of hustle thatwe're talking about.
(04:03):
I'm only content if I've beenrecognized, appreciated, and
valued by other people.
I am only okay if I look acertain way or hit a certain
weight.
Then I'll be okay.
That's hustling for ourworthiness.
And so the reason that that'snever ending is because it never
(04:25):
ends.
I said this to a one on oneclient the other day who I was
coaching around somerelationship stuff and she went
into a conversation with herpartner with an expectation and
she came out of the conversationsaying it went better than ever
before, but I still don't feelCompletely loved and valued and
(04:46):
I get this because I have feltthat way before and here's what
I need you to know about thatand this is exactly what I said
to her.
Other people can certainlyexpress appreciation, love and
recognition for us, but whetheryou feel valued is ultimately up
to you.
If you don't believe that youare worthy or valuable, no
amount of external validationwill truly make you feel it.
(05:09):
And that is why hustling foryour worthiness is a never
ending task.
It's never enough.
It's never enough.
If you do not feel valued andworthy when we're continually
collecting and looking for itfrom other people, it can never
end.
And on the other hand, If youdeeply value yourself, you don't
need constant reassurance tofeel secure.
(05:31):
Like I said a moment ago, it'snice, right?
It's nice to be appreciated,loved and recognized.
But whether you feel valued isup to you.
So while external validation canbe nice and affirming, real self
worth and feeling valued comefrom within.
It is about what you believeabout yourself, not just what
(05:52):
others say, which is why I liketo coach on the level of the
thought.
Because that dictates how youfeel, not the number on the
scale, the number on the scale,you allow to dictate how you
feel because you have a thoughtabout it.
You continue to keep thinkingthat thought until it becomes a
belief.
It makes you feel some kind ofway.
And then you connect the numberon the scale with how you feel,
(06:15):
which is the case foreverything, your body, how we
show up in the world in everyway.
So I wanted to make reallyclear.
What kind of hustling we'retalking about.
Sometimes the holy hustle isrequired.
That's how all my high achievingclients got to where they are
right.
Is by doing a little holyhustle.
And usually it's not sustainablelong term.
It's a period of phase, a thingthat you got to do for a while
(06:37):
to get what you want.
What you desire.
I don't even like to use theword want, it feels very needy.
So let's talk about why thosetraditional hustle strategies
fail.
So hopefully you understand.
Why hustling for your worthinessis a never ending task, because
I just explained.
unless you feel valued, it neverends.
We're just always looking forvalidation and worthiness.
And so when we're talking about,you know, hustling, let's talk
(07:01):
about the all or nothing cyclebecause hustling and all or
nothing are very connected.
Very connected.
The all part of all or nothingis hustling, right?
We're hustling, hustling to getthat result to be recognized.
We're all in, we're superintense about it.
And then when it's notsustainable as all or nothing
(07:21):
never is.
Then we perceive it as a failureand then we're reluctant to even
get started because it's not afailure until you decide it's a
failure and then you've made itmean something about you.
And this becomes a cycle thatkeeps you trapped.
So then you're so tied up in theresult, the failure that you
think that you had, it makes itmuch harder to get going again,
(07:42):
enter the nothing period, right?
Until you recoup.
And then you get the quoteunquote motivation and willpower
to go back into the all of theall or nothing.
And then you start hustlinguntil you can't anymore.
And if you haven't already heardmy episode on all or nothing, go
back and listen to episode two.
But here's the gist of it.
For example, you commit to asuper strict.
Nutrition plan, right?
A diet, workouts, maybe wakingup at 5 a.
(08:04):
m.
to do whatever.
You start strong.
You are feeling motivated.
You're doing all the things.
Right?
This is how every person starts.
I'm doing all the things, I'mdoing all the things.
And then life happens.
Work gets busy.
The kids get sick.
You miss a workout or like somereal life examples that have
(08:25):
happened to my clients veryrecently.
Your husband gets a chunk ofwood in his eye and then you're
like down a person, you'retaking them to the emergency,
you're taking them to theophthalmologist, you find out
your partner, you know, wasgoing behind your back, you lose
a parent, you don't have acontract renewed for your job,
(08:47):
you injure yourself, all ofthese things are real and if
your hustle is connected withyour being okay, then when one
of those things happen, youthink, what's the point?
And you fall off track.
This is called I call this thepush, crash, burn cycle.
Push, push, push, push, crash,burn.
Motivation is not designed tolast.
(09:07):
It's not designed to last inyour brain.
That's why dopamine is a hit.
It is a short burst.
And when you try to keep itgoing forever and ever, it's
very discouraging when lifedoesn't go perfectly as life
never does.
And then you blame yourself, youfeel guilty.
And then again, like I said, youhave to recoup and try again
next week.
And this is exactly why Icreated flow flow is my upcoming
eight week mindset coachingcourse, because I know what it
(09:30):
is like to be stuck in thiscycle.
I know what it is like thinkingthat the answer is to try
harder.
But the truth is when you learnhow to create success from
alignment instead of force,everything changes.
So if this is resonating withyou and you're tired of pushing
so hard without seeing theresults you want, get on the
wait list for flow.
The link will be in the shownotes.
(09:50):
No more burnout, no more all ornothing, just real sustainable
progress in a way that actuallyfeels good.
And I was just actually justtelling my clients this last
week on our group call.
We were doing a group call ongetting back on track because
that is a hot topic.
And as I was walking with mydog, I was Thinking about what I
was going to say to my clientson this topic.
(10:11):
And I was trying to put myselfin the position of feeling off
track and I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it in my recent,many past years.
I was like, I don't feel offtrack in any way.
I never feel off track.
Now hear me say, this is notbecause I do everything
perfectly, or I have morewillpower or motivation than
you, or I'm doing all the thingsall the time.
It's because I never.
perceive a blip or a change indirection as falling off track
(10:36):
ever, ever, ever.
There's never in my recentmemory been a time that I ate a
meal, missed a workout, gotsick, got injured, had to deal
with something, traveled where Iwas like, I'm off track.
And I'm going to get back ontrack.
not in any aspect of my personallife, like my health, my
(10:56):
fitness, even like parenting.
I can't think of anything whereI've been like, I'm off track.
I need to get back on track.
The only time I think I couldever see myself being pulled
into this is with a habit.
Like, Getting up early orposting every day or something
like that.
And even then I do not beatmyself up about those things.
I literally just think aboutwhat is the next action that's
(11:19):
going to, and I don't even usethe words on track and off
track.
Cool.
What am I going to do next?
Okay.
Yeah.
Like I haven't really posted ina while.
I should probably do that.
So like I'll make a plan andI'll do it next week.
And then if I don't do it nextweek, I'm like, cool.
I look at that.
I'm like, Oh, is thatunrealistic?
Or do I need to reassess or do Ineed a different like system for
doing this?
I'm constantly reassessing.
I don't think of it as off trackand on track.
(11:40):
This is life.
If I want to feel the way that Iwant to feel, which is calm,
peaceful, excited, balanced,present, it's a constant
reassessment.
And so at the end of the week,I'm not like, Oh, I missed all
these goals.
I'm like, okay, what worked?
First of all, what are my wins?
What worked?
What didn't work?
What am I going to change?
(12:00):
What am I going to keep thesame?
That's it.
It's a clinical assessment ofwhat happened the past week.
I do not make it mean anythingabout me, which is.
I think the difference betweenconstantly being in a cycle of
off track and on track, it isall in the mind.
It's not because you don't haveenough motivation or willpower.
It's because you're in all ornothing perfectionist thinking
and you are buying into thebelief that there is such a
(12:22):
thing as off track and on track.
So what if instead of forcingresults through brute willpower
and hustling through burnout,what if things could feel
easier?
this is exactly why I createdflow.
Flow is my upcoming eight weekmindset coaching course, because
I know what it is like to bestuck in this cycle.
(12:44):
when you learn how to createsuccess from alignment instead
of force, everything changes.
So if this is resonating withyou and you're tired of pushing
so hard without seeing theresults you want, get on the
wait list for flow.
The link will be in the shownotes.
we're going to break out of thiscycle for good.
No more burnout, no more all ornothing, just real sustainable
(13:04):
progress in a way that actuallyfeels good.
Imagine your next step in yourjourney always felt clear,
always felt natural, even easy.
this is the difference betweenforcing results and flowing into
them.
Forcing looks like what we justtalked about, beating yourself
up when you're not perfect.
And forcing yourself looks likeignoring your body, ignoring
(13:27):
your body's cues because youstill think that you should do
X, Y, or Z.
You know, just as an example,women are likely the only
species on earth who askswhether they should eat or not
eat, or say, I shouldn't eatthat.
Like other creatures are notwalking around saying like,
should I eat that?
Asking other people whetherthey're hungry, they're just
(13:48):
like, oh, I'm hungry.
Cool.
I'm full.
So I just want you to see thatThat is also in your head, not
in a, you're crazy way in a,you've been conditioned to
question everything about yourbody and your intuition.
so that's forcing, it's forcingyourself to do things, eat
things, not eat things on aschedule because someone else
said so.
That's forcing.
Forcing looks through hustlingthrough burnout.
(14:10):
Because no excuses.
Push, push, push, push, push.
Fall down dead at the end of theday, the week, or, you know, the
project, but at least you get agold star for not quitting for
pushing through.
Flowing looks like.
Listening to your body andbrain, working with your body
and brain, not against your bodyand brain.
Focusing on dial movers.
(14:31):
What really works.
Minimum effective dose.
You are busy.
You don't need to be doing allthe things perfectly.
You need to be doing the highestpotency thing consistently.
Minimum effective dose.
Flowing looks like creatingsuccess without burning yourself
out.
This means opting out of thebelief that you don't have a
(14:53):
choice.
This means taking personalaccountability and
responsibility for everything inyour life.
Stepping out of victim position.
And here's the key takeaway.
When it comes to our bodies.
Flow is about moving with yourbody's natural rhythms instead
of against them.
So in the way of eating, of inmoving, of in sleeping, and we
(15:13):
all have those, but we're mostlyjust so out of touch with them
because we're moving so fast.
We're hustling that we don't, wecan't feel them.
We can't hear them.
So what if it didn't have tofeel so hard?
Here's a mindset shift for youthat will make everything
easier.
What if getting leaner, gettingstronger?
Being more confident didn't haveto feel like a struggle?
(15:34):
What if it felt easy?
What if it felt clear andaligned with who you are right
now?
What if instead of fightingyourself, you knew exactly how
to move forward in a way thatfelt good.
The truth is it is not abouttrying harder.
It's not about willpower.
It's about learning how to flowinto success and stop forcing
it.
that's exactly what we're divinginto today Sneak peek of the
(15:57):
flow formula.
The flow formula is exactly whatI will be teaching inside my
upcoming eight week course flow,which is starting on April 3rd.
So here's how you can startapplying the flow formula to
make achieving your goals easyand sustainable.
So the first thing that we do inflow is get fully in tune with
your vision.
So I do this by doing a guidedvisualization with my clients,
(16:18):
but you can do it on your own.
You can journal it out.
You can do some scripting.
first I would have you choosewhat area of your life you would
like to focus on.
Is it your health, finances,your career, your relationships,
your physical environment?
And then take some time toreflect, what is your ideal
vision in this area?
if it were me, I would get intoa quiet space and, envision who
(16:39):
I want to be in that area.
And then I would journal aboutit.
I would write it down as if Iwas already living it.
What do you want to achieve, butmake it feel effortless?
so that's step one is knowingwhat it is that you desire,
seeing your vision.
And if you are a client or haveever been a client, you know
that I'm big on goal setting,not in a strict way in a, like
(17:00):
you have to know how you want tofeel and why you want to feel
that way.
Because that is what compelsyou.
We are not compelled by pantsizes or numbers on a scale or
Numbers of money.
Those things are literallymeaningless.
We assign meaning to thembecause we think that it will
make us feel some kind of way.
(17:20):
So you have to connect to howyou want to feel, be, and see
yourself.
And then step two is to ask forguidance and surrender the
outcome.
I know it sounds like kind ofwoo woo, it is kind of woo woo,
but you have to ask yourself,what do I need guidance on right
now?
Because again, we're all runningaround thinking that it's just
that we need more motivation,more willpower, more discipline,
and it's not.
(17:41):
It's about coming into your bodyand asking yourself, okay, what
do I actually need right now?
What do I need guidance?
And then saying to yourself, I'mready to receive guidance and I
surrender the outcome.
This releases the pressure.
And when there's no pressure,you're less likely to push and
hustle.
You are more likely to trustthat the guidance will come.
So the second reflection is whatare you willing to surrender
(18:03):
control over this week?
Write it down.
it might be like what yourhusband does, what that person
at work does, why, you know,what happens on the scale, what
happens in the gym.
Surrender control over it, writeit down.
And then step three is toreceive that guidance.
So I want you to notice how yourbody feels when you're thinking
(18:24):
and talking about your goals.
Are there gut feelings?
Are there subtle cues?
I can literally, now that I'm intune with my body, think about A
person, a situation, an app, atask, and I'll have a feeling in
my body and I know what that is.
And it doesn't mean that I'mgoing to avoid it, but I'm just
like, Oh yeah, okay, I know I'm,I'm feeling what this is and it
guides me towards the next beststep.
(18:46):
Notice synchronicities andsigns.
Notice how you feel.
What do you notice in yoursurroundings, in yourself, in
your body?
Step four is to interpret andact.
So once you feel what yourintuition is telling you, take a
moment to just listen.
Okay, what have I been askingfor guidance on?
Is it how to proceed in thisrelationship?
What to do about this job orthis move?
And then what is my guidance, mygut inviting me to do?
(19:10):
What is one small action thatyou can take to align with this
guidance?
If you're getting a gut feeling,it doesn't mean that you're
going to make a big decisionwithout thinking about it, but
like, what's one little thingthat you can try on?
It might be like lookingsomething up, reading something,
having a conversation.
And then step five is to noticeand celebrate the
microevolutions because successdoesn't always look big.
(19:32):
In fact, when you'reconsistently taking small
actions, it doesn't feel or lookbig at all.
I run into this with our clientsinside muscles and mindset all
the time, and most of them aretrained now, so they know, so
they will repeat a habit as awin, even if they've done it for
two months in a row.
Because it's still a win.
That is the win.
You know, we get to a placewhere we're like, Oh, that's
normal for me now.
(19:53):
And so that's not a celebration.
That's not a success.
It's not a win anymore, but thatis the win is that you've been
so fricking consistent with it,that it's normal for you now.
That is what ease feels like.
It's not sexy or loud, it'squiet, consistent and subtle
until it is a normal part ofyour life.
people say to me that I'm solucky that I'm motivated and fit
(20:13):
and all of this.
And it's like, no, I just madeit normal.
So it's not a big deal.
And then not working out is nota big deal.
And then eating a burger is nota big deal.
Like none of it is a big deal.
Because I have been movingtowards the woman that I want to
be for so long, So slowly, sowhat small win can you celebrate
this week?
(20:33):
And how will you honor it all ornothing thinking doesn't want
you to celebrate the small winsyour negative brain saying like
that's not enough, it's notenough.
But Let it be enough and thenbuild on it again and again
until it is huge That is how itworks.
I want You to leave today'sepisode knowing one thing
success doesn't have to feelhard.
It can feel fun and easy whenyou trust yourself and you trust
(20:57):
your flow.
It becomes a natural,sustainable part of your
journey.
It becomes who you are and isn'tthat what you want?
You want to be a confidentperson.
You want to be a fit woman.
You want to be happy andpeaceful and joyful.
You can't do that if you'realways in hustle and push.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
All right, so we've talked about why willpower and
hustle are not the answer.
And I hope you're starting tosee that it's not about doing
more.
It's about doing thingsdifferently.
And that is exactly what we'reworking on inside of flow.
So if you are tired of pushingand not seeing results, I would
love to have you inside.
Get on the waitlist via the linkin the show notes and be the
first to know when doors open.
(21:33):
Plus you'll get a bonus forbeing on the waitlist.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Next week we're going to dive deeper into breaking the
all or nothing cycle and talkabout more actionable steps
about what really works foreffortless lasting success.
See you next week!
Hello, and welcome back to the muscles and mindset
(00:02):
revolution, the podcast forambitious women who want to
build strength, feel confidentAF and lose fat for good without
counting calories or BS quickfixes.
I'm your host Anne Jones,certified life coach, personal
trainer, and mindset.
After 15 plus years in thefitness industry, I know the
(00:23):
real key to lasting change isn'tjust what you do, it's how you
think.
If you're ready to shift yourmindset, build a lifestyle you
love and feel confident AF,you're in the right place.
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the show.
Today's episode is all aboutditching the hustle mindset that
so many of us get stuck in andstepping into a way of living
(00:46):
that feels effortless andflowing.
This is actually going to be ourtheme the entire month of March.
I'm so excited to share thiswith you because I know so many
of us think that we need to domore, have more willpower, more
motivation, or simply try harderwhen we're not getting what we
(01:10):
want, the result that we want,the amount of money that we
want, whatever it is that wewant, right?
But here's the thing thatchanged everything for me and
changes this for my clients.
And it might just changeeverything for you too.
Willpower and hustle are not theproblem.
The way you've been taught toapproach success is the problem.
(01:32):
This episode is going to breakdown why traditional hustle
strategies fail, how to shiftfrom forcing results to flowing
into them.
And I'm going to give you apowerful mindset shift to make
everything feel easier.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
And before we get into the mindset shift that is
going to make everything feeleasier, I want to remind you
that this is exactly what we'redoing inside flow.
If you are ready to stop forcingand start seeing results in a
way that feels effortless,you're going to love this is
eight weeks of live coachingwith me.
My five step flow formula and aprivate community off social
(02:07):
media of women who are done withburnout.
Doors are going to be opening onMarch 20th for people on the
wait list.
So get on the wait list now withthe link in the show notes.
Speaker (02:16):
Let's get into
it.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Okay, so I want to begin by saying that hustle has
a place.
Okay, so we're talking about acouple of different things here.
When I say hustle, I mean doing,doing, doing with an expectation
of worthiness.
You know, Brene Brown calls ithustling for your worthiness,
doing things to be seen, doingthings for validation, doing
(02:39):
things for other people.
With the expectation,consciously or subconsciously,
that then you will be okay.
You will be appreciated.
You will be of value.
You will be enough.
If you just do all of thesethings, get this result, look
this certain way, do all thesethings for other people, get
recognized, make a certainamount of money.
That's what I mean by hustling.
(03:00):
Okay.
So, and I can, I will explainwhy that's an endless.
I also want to acknowledge thatthere is room for What I like to
call the holy hustle.
Okay.
So the holy hustle is putting inwork, hustling and working are
(03:20):
not the same.
Working hard and hustling arenot the same.
I call the holy hustle.
Like when you gotta, when yougotta get down in business and
you know, Maybe you still have asmile on your face, you're
working your butt off, you know,you're getting up at 5am.
This is not forever though,because it's not sustainable.
The holy hustle is a period,it's a phase, it's a season
(03:42):
where you have to put in work.
For a result, you wantsomething, you got to do the
work, the hustling that we aretalking about moving away from
is the kind of hustling, thekind of doing that we do with an
expectation that we are not okaywith ourselves unless we do X,
Y, and Z.
That's the kind of hustle thatwe're talking about.
(04:03):
I'm only content if I've beenrecognized, appreciated, and
valued by other people.
I am only okay if I look acertain way or hit a certain
weight.
Then I'll be okay.
That's hustling for ourworthiness.
And so the reason that that'snever ending is because it never
(04:25):
ends.
I said this to a one on oneclient the other day who I was
coaching around somerelationship stuff and she went
into a conversation with herpartner with an expectation and
she came out of the conversationsaying it went better than ever
before, but I still don't feelCompletely loved and valued and
(04:46):
I get this because I have feltthat way before and here's what
I need you to know about thatand this is exactly what I said
to her.
Other people can certainlyexpress appreciation, love and
recognition for us, but whetheryou feel valued is ultimately up
to you.
If you don't believe that youare worthy or valuable, no
amount of external validationwill truly make you feel it.
(05:09):
And that is why hustling foryour worthiness is a never
ending task.
It's never enough.
It's never enough.
If you do not feel valued andworthy when we're continually
collecting and looking for itfrom other people, it can never
end.
And on the other hand, If youdeeply value yourself, you don't
need constant reassurance tofeel secure.
(05:31):
Like I said a moment ago, it'snice, right?
It's nice to be appreciated,loved and recognized.
But whether you feel valued isup to you.
So while external validation canbe nice and affirming, real self
worth and feeling valued comefrom within.
It is about what you believeabout yourself, not just what
(05:52):
others say, which is why I liketo coach on the level of the
thought.
Because that dictates how youfeel, not the number on the
scale, the number on the scale,you allow to dictate how you
feel because you have a thoughtabout it.
You continue to keep thinkingthat thought until it becomes a
belief.
It makes you feel some kind ofway.
And then you connect the numberon the scale with how you feel,
(06:15):
which is the case foreverything, your body, how we
show up in the world in everyway.
So I wanted to make reallyclear.
What kind of hustling we'retalking about.
Sometimes the holy hustle isrequired.
That's how all my high achievingclients got to where they are
right.
Is by doing a little holyhustle.
And usually it's not sustainablelong term.
It's a period of phase, a thingthat you got to do for a while
(06:37):
to get what you want.
What you desire.
I don't even like to use theword want, it feels very needy.
So let's talk about why thosetraditional hustle strategies
fail.
So hopefully you understand.
Why hustling for your worthinessis a never ending task, because
I just explained.
unless you feel valued, it neverends.
We're just always looking forvalidation and worthiness.
And so when we're talking about,you know, hustling, let's talk
(07:01):
about the all or nothing cyclebecause hustling and all or
nothing are very connected.
Very connected.
The all part of all or nothingis hustling, right?
We're hustling, hustling to getthat result to be recognized.
We're all in, we're superintense about it.
And then when it's notsustainable as all or nothing
(07:21):
never is.
Then we perceive it as a failureand then we're reluctant to even
get started because it's not afailure until you decide it's a
failure and then you've made itmean something about you.
And this becomes a cycle thatkeeps you trapped.
So then you're so tied up in theresult, the failure that you
think that you had, it makes itmuch harder to get going again,
(07:42):
enter the nothing period, right?
Until you recoup.
And then you get the quoteunquote motivation and willpower
to go back into the all of theall or nothing.
And then you start hustlinguntil you can't anymore.
And if you haven't already heardmy episode on all or nothing, go
back and listen to episode two.
But here's the gist of it.
For example, you commit to asuper strict.
Nutrition plan, right?
A diet, workouts, maybe wakingup at 5 a.
(08:04):
m.
to do whatever.
You start strong.
You are feeling motivated.
You're doing all the things.
Right?
This is how every person starts.
I'm doing all the things, I'mdoing all the things.
And then life happens.
Work gets busy.
The kids get sick.
You miss a workout or like somereal life examples that have
(08:25):
happened to my clients veryrecently.
Your husband gets a chunk ofwood in his eye and then you're
like down a person, you'retaking them to the emergency,
you're taking them to theophthalmologist, you find out
your partner, you know, wasgoing behind your back, you lose
a parent, you don't have acontract renewed for your job,
(08:47):
you injure yourself, all ofthese things are real and if
your hustle is connected withyour being okay, then when one
of those things happen, youthink, what's the point?
And you fall off track.
This is called I call this thepush, crash, burn cycle.
Push, push, push, push, crash,burn.
Motivation is not designed tolast.
(09:07):
It's not designed to last inyour brain.
That's why dopamine is a hit.
It is a short burst.
And when you try to keep itgoing forever and ever, it's
very discouraging when lifedoesn't go perfectly as life
never does.
And then you blame yourself, youfeel guilty.
And then again, like I said, youhave to recoup and try again
next week.
And this is exactly why Icreated flow flow is my upcoming
eight week mindset coachingcourse, because I know what it
(09:30):
is like to be stuck in thiscycle.
I know what it is like thinkingthat the answer is to try
harder.
But the truth is when you learnhow to create success from
alignment instead of force,everything changes.
So if this is resonating withyou and you're tired of pushing
so hard without seeing theresults you want, get on the
wait list for flow.
The link will be in the shownotes.
(09:50):
No more burnout, no more all ornothing, just real sustainable
progress in a way that actuallyfeels good.
And I was just actually justtelling my clients this last
week on our group call.
We were doing a group call ongetting back on track because
that is a hot topic.
And as I was walking with mydog, I was Thinking about what I
was going to say to my clientson this topic.
(10:11):
And I was trying to put myselfin the position of feeling off
track and I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it in my recent,many past years.
I was like, I don't feel offtrack in any way.
I never feel off track.
Now hear me say, this is notbecause I do everything
perfectly, or I have morewillpower or motivation than
you, or I'm doing all the thingsall the time.
It's because I never.
perceive a blip or a change indirection as falling off track
(10:36):
ever, ever, ever.
There's never in my recentmemory been a time that I ate a
meal, missed a workout, gotsick, got injured, had to deal
with something, traveled where Iwas like, I'm off track.
And I'm going to get back ontrack.
not in any aspect of my personallife, like my health, my
(10:56):
fitness, even like parenting.
I can't think of anything whereI've been like, I'm off track.
I need to get back on track.
The only time I think I couldever see myself being pulled
into this is with a habit.
Like, Getting up early orposting every day or something
like that.
And even then I do not beatmyself up about those things.
I literally just think aboutwhat is the next action that's
(11:19):
going to, and I don't even usethe words on track and off
track.
Cool.
What am I going to do next?
Okay.
Yeah.
Like I haven't really posted ina while.
I should probably do that.
So like I'll make a plan andI'll do it next week.
And then if I don't do it nextweek, I'm like, cool.
I look at that.
I'm like, Oh, is thatunrealistic?
Or do I need to reassess or do Ineed a different like system for
doing this?
I'm constantly reassessing.
I don't think of it as off trackand on track.
(11:40):
This is life.
If I want to feel the way that Iwant to feel, which is calm,
peaceful, excited, balanced,present, it's a constant
reassessment.
And so at the end of the week,I'm not like, Oh, I missed all
these goals.
I'm like, okay, what worked?
First of all, what are my wins?
What worked?
What didn't work?
What am I going to change?
(12:00):
What am I going to keep thesame?
That's it.
It's a clinical assessment ofwhat happened the past week.
I do not make it mean anythingabout me, which is.
I think the difference betweenconstantly being in a cycle of
off track and on track, it isall in the mind.
It's not because you don't haveenough motivation or willpower.
It's because you're in all ornothing perfectionist thinking
and you are buying into thebelief that there is such a
(12:22):
thing as off track and on track.
So what if instead of forcingresults through brute willpower
and hustling through burnout,what if things could feel
easier?
this is exactly why I createdflow.
Flow is my upcoming eight weekmindset coaching course, because
I know what it is like to bestuck in this cycle.
(12:44):
when you learn how to createsuccess from alignment instead
of force, everything changes.
So if this is resonating withyou and you're tired of pushing
so hard without seeing theresults you want, get on the
wait list for flow.
The link will be in the shownotes.
we're going to break out of thiscycle for good.
No more burnout, no more all ornothing, just real sustainable
(13:04):
progress in a way that actuallyfeels good.
Imagine your next step in yourjourney always felt clear,
always felt natural, even easy.
this is the difference betweenforcing results and flowing into
them.
Forcing looks like what we justtalked about, beating yourself
up when you're not perfect.
And forcing yourself looks likeignoring your body, ignoring
(13:27):
your body's cues because youstill think that you should do
X, Y, or Z.
You know, just as an example,women are likely the only
species on earth who askswhether they should eat or not
eat, or say, I shouldn't eatthat.
Like other creatures are notwalking around saying like,
should I eat that?
Asking other people whetherthey're hungry, they're just
(13:48):
like, oh, I'm hungry.
Cool.
I'm full.
So I just want you to see thatThat is also in your head, not
in a, you're crazy way in a,you've been conditioned to
question everything about yourbody and your intuition.
so that's forcing, it's forcingyourself to do things, eat
things, not eat things on aschedule because someone else
said so.
That's forcing.
Forcing looks through hustlingthrough burnout.
(14:10):
Because no excuses.
Push, push, push, push, push.
Fall down dead at the end of theday, the week, or, you know, the
project, but at least you get agold star for not quitting for
pushing through.
Flowing looks like.
Listening to your body andbrain, working with your body
and brain, not against your bodyand brain.
Focusing on dial movers.
(14:31):
What really works.
Minimum effective dose.
You are busy.
You don't need to be doing allthe things perfectly.
You need to be doing the highestpotency thing consistently.
Minimum effective dose.
Flowing looks like creatingsuccess without burning yourself
out.
This means opting out of thebelief that you don't have a
(14:53):
choice.
This means taking personalaccountability and
responsibility for everything inyour life.
Stepping out of victim position.
And here's the key takeaway.
When it comes to our bodies.
Flow is about moving with yourbody's natural rhythms instead
of against them.
So in the way of eating, of inmoving, of in sleeping, and we
(15:13):
all have those, but we're mostlyjust so out of touch with them
because we're moving so fast.
We're hustling that we don't, wecan't feel them.
We can't hear them.
So what if it didn't have tofeel so hard?
Here's a mindset shift for youthat will make everything
easier.
What if getting leaner, gettingstronger?
Being more confident didn't haveto feel like a struggle?
(15:34):
What if it felt easy?
What if it felt clear andaligned with who you are right
now?
What if instead of fightingyourself, you knew exactly how
to move forward in a way thatfelt good.
The truth is it is not abouttrying harder.
It's not about willpower.
It's about learning how to flowinto success and stop forcing
it.
that's exactly what we're divinginto today Sneak peek of the
(15:57):
flow formula.
The flow formula is exactly whatI will be teaching inside my
upcoming eight week course flow,which is starting on April 3rd.
So here's how you can startapplying the flow formula to
make achieving your goals easyand sustainable.
So the first thing that we do inflow is get fully in tune with
your vision.
So I do this by doing a guidedvisualization with my clients,
(16:18):
but you can do it on your own.
You can journal it out.
You can do some scripting.
first I would have you choosewhat area of your life you would
like to focus on.
Is it your health, finances,your career, your relationships,
your physical environment?
And then take some time toreflect, what is your ideal
vision in this area?
if it were me, I would get intoa quiet space and, envision who
(16:39):
I want to be in that area.
And then I would journal aboutit.
I would write it down as if Iwas already living it.
What do you want to achieve, butmake it feel effortless?
so that's step one is knowingwhat it is that you desire,
seeing your vision.
And if you are a client or haveever been a client, you know
that I'm big on goal setting,not in a strict way in a, like
(17:00):
you have to know how you want tofeel and why you want to feel
that way.
Because that is what compelsyou.
We are not compelled by pantsizes or numbers on a scale or
Numbers of money.
Those things are literallymeaningless.
We assign meaning to thembecause we think that it will
make us feel some kind of way.
(17:20):
So you have to connect to howyou want to feel, be, and see
yourself.
And then step two is to ask forguidance and surrender the
outcome.
I know it sounds like kind ofwoo woo, it is kind of woo woo,
but you have to ask yourself,what do I need guidance on right
now?
Because again, we're all runningaround thinking that it's just
that we need more motivation,more willpower, more discipline,
and it's not.
(17:41):
It's about coming into your bodyand asking yourself, okay, what
do I actually need right now?
What do I need guidance?
And then saying to yourself, I'mready to receive guidance and I
surrender the outcome.
This releases the pressure.
And when there's no pressure,you're less likely to push and
hustle.
You are more likely to trustthat the guidance will come.
So the second reflection is whatare you willing to surrender
(18:03):
control over this week?
Write it down.
it might be like what yourhusband does, what that person
at work does, why, you know,what happens on the scale, what
happens in the gym.
Surrender control over it, writeit down.
And then step three is toreceive that guidance.
So I want you to notice how yourbody feels when you're thinking
(18:24):
and talking about your goals.
Are there gut feelings?
Are there subtle cues?
I can literally, now that I'm intune with my body, think about A
person, a situation, an app, atask, and I'll have a feeling in
my body and I know what that is.
And it doesn't mean that I'mgoing to avoid it, but I'm just
like, Oh yeah, okay, I know I'm,I'm feeling what this is and it
guides me towards the next beststep.
(18:46):
Notice synchronicities andsigns.
Notice how you feel.
What do you notice in yoursurroundings, in yourself, in
your body?
Step four is to interpret andact.
So once you feel what yourintuition is telling you, take a
moment to just listen.
Okay, what have I been askingfor guidance on?
Is it how to proceed in thisrelationship?
What to do about this job orthis move?
And then what is my guidance, mygut inviting me to do?
(19:10):
What is one small action thatyou can take to align with this
guidance?
If you're getting a gut feeling,it doesn't mean that you're
going to make a big decisionwithout thinking about it, but
like, what's one little thingthat you can try on?
It might be like lookingsomething up, reading something,
having a conversation.
And then step five is to noticeand celebrate the
microevolutions because successdoesn't always look big.
(19:32):
In fact, when you'reconsistently taking small
actions, it doesn't feel or lookbig at all.
I run into this with our clientsinside muscles and mindset all
the time, and most of them aretrained now, so they know, so
they will repeat a habit as awin, even if they've done it for
two months in a row.
Because it's still a win.
That is the win.
You know, we get to a placewhere we're like, Oh, that's
normal for me now.
(19:53):
And so that's not a celebration.
That's not a success.
It's not a win anymore, but thatis the win is that you've been
so fricking consistent with it,that it's normal for you now.
That is what ease feels like.
It's not sexy or loud, it'squiet, consistent and subtle
until it is a normal part ofyour life.
people say to me that I'm solucky that I'm motivated and fit
(20:13):
and all of this.
And it's like, no, I just madeit normal.
So it's not a big deal.
And then not working out is nota big deal.
And then eating a burger is nota big deal.
Like none of it is a big deal.
Because I have been movingtowards the woman that I want to
be for so long, So slowly, sowhat small win can you celebrate
this week?
(20:33):
And how will you honor it all ornothing thinking doesn't want
you to celebrate the small winsyour negative brain saying like
that's not enough, it's notenough.
But Let it be enough and thenbuild on it again and again
until it is huge That is how itworks.
I want You to leave today'sepisode knowing one thing
success doesn't have to feelhard.
It can feel fun and easy whenyou trust yourself and you trust
(20:57):
your flow.
It becomes a natural,sustainable part of your
journey.
It becomes who you are and isn'tthat what you want?
You want to be a confidentperson.
You want to be a fit woman.
You want to be happy andpeaceful and joyful.
You can't do that if you'realways in hustle and push.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
All right, so we've talked about why willpower and
hustle are not the answer.
And I hope you're starting tosee that it's not about doing
more.
It's about doing thingsdifferently.
And that is exactly what we'reworking on inside of flow.
So if you are tired of pushingand not seeing results, I would
love to have you inside.
Get on the waitlist via the linkin the show notes and be the
first to know when doors open.
(21:33):
Plus you'll get a bonus forbeing on the waitlist.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Next week we're going to dive deeper into breaking the
all or nothing cycle and talkabout more actionable steps
about what really works foreffortless lasting success.
See you next week!
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