May 12, 2025 • 19 mins
🎧 Fallen Off Track? Here’s EXACTLY What To Do Next (It’s Not What You Think)
You just started. Or you’re crushing it—until life happens. Suddenly, the workouts stop, the habits fade, and you’re spiraling in self-doubt asking, “What’s wrong with me?” In this episode of Muscles and Mindset, Anne Jones (certified life coach + fitness pro with 15+ years of experience) gets real about what’s actually happening when you “fall off track” and why it has nothing to do with willpower and everything to do with your nervous system.
Whether you’ve fallen off your workout routine, ditched your healthy meals, or ghosted your goals for a hot minute—this episode breaks down:
✨ Why your brain wants you to quit (and how to override it)
✨ The 3 nervous system states and how they impact your habits
✨ How to stop labeling yourself as “lazy” or “inconsistent”
✨ A simple reframe that will help you never start over again
✨ The truth about the “7-week and 7-month slump” (and how to outsmart it)
This one’s for the high-achieving woman who’s tired of starting over and ready to ride the wave of real, lasting change—without the guilt, shame, or BS.
Join my FREE StrongHER Challenge: A FREE 5-Day Strength & Confidence Challenge for Women 30+ Who Want to Build Strength, Feel Confident AF, and Stay Consistent—Without Wasting Time on the Wrong Workouts.
• [FREE YOUR BODY YOUR WAY GUIDE]
• [Join our Free Facebook Community]
• [https://musclesandmindset.ca/]
Ready to build strength, feel confident AF, and lose fat without obsessing or stressing over it? [Apply to Join the Muscles & Mindset program here].
Connect With Me:
• Instagram: [@annejonesfit]
• Website: [https://www.annejonescoaching.ca/]
• YouTube: [https://www.youtube.com/@annejones]
Love This Episode? Share & Review!
If you found this episode helpful, take a screenshot and share it on your Instagram stories, tagging [@annejonesfit] so I can say thanks! Don’t forget to leave a review on your favourite podcast platform—it helps more women discover the show and start their transformation!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, hey.
Welcome back to the Muscles andMindset Revolution podcast.
The podcast for busy, ambitiouswomen who are tired of chasing
quick fixes and are ready tofinally achieve real lasting
results, stronger bodies,sustainable habits, and
long-term weight loss.
I'm your host, Anne Jones,certified life coach and fitness
professional for over 15 years.
(00:21):
Here to help you break free frominconsistency, overwhelm, and
burnout.
Okay, welcome back to the pod.
I wanna talk about somethingthat we've all been through, you
start something strong, right?
Especially my all or nothinghigh achiever, ladies, you start
something strong.
Everything's going according toplan, and then bam, life hits
(00:44):
you, right?
You fall off track.
The workouts stop, the healthyhabits fade.
Maybe it's not even because lifehit you, maybe hit you, you
maybe you just fell off, right?
And then maybe you find yourselfin a place where you feel like
it's all over and you think,what the hell is wrong with me?
Why can't I stay consistent?
Guess what?
This happens, okay?
It happens to the best of us.
(01:04):
And today I'm gonna shareexactly what I want you to do
when you fall off track,especially if you've been stuck
in that cycle for a while.
So let's get into it.
Now first, let me tell you, thisis not just about getting back
on track.
I actually don't even love thatphrase, and I tell my clients
this all the time.
I don't in my life, I never falloff track and get back on track
(01:26):
because I just don't phrase itor see it that way.
I never see it as a stop startthis is how my most successful
clients see it as well.
They just see life as like.
A cycle, it just keeps going.
But when we have this perceptionthat there's a beginning point
and an end point, and if we f itup anywhere in there, we're
starting all over, you will befalling, you'll be falling off
track and constantly trying toget back on track.
(01:48):
So I, it takes a while to get tothe point that I'm at,
obviously, but.
I don't even love that phrasing'cause I just want you to think
that you're, you just continueon.
I really, it's really more abouttenacity.
But we've all heard that amillion times, right?
Just get back on track and justlike get back on the horse and
it's not that easy.
So what I wanna dive into todayis what do you actually do in
(02:11):
that moment when it feels likeyou've completely fallen off the
rails when your brain,'causeyes, your brain will tell you.
Why bother?
It's too late.
I'm too far gone.
I'm just not cut out for this.
And this happens a lot,especially in the beginning of
your journey per this keepspeople from even starting.
For literally years.
It also happens when we getoverwhelmed and this is a common
(02:33):
pitfall, and guess what?
It's completely normal.
So I want to very briefly tellyou why this happens, because it
is a normal human nervous systemresponse.
And then I'm gonna share withyou what I want you to do to
quote unquote get out of it.
So the reason that this evenhappens at all.
Is because your nervous systemgoes into shutdown.
(02:54):
Okay?
So real quick, your nervoussystem is your brain.
Your brain stem, your spinalcord and it rules the whole of
your body.
And it has these sort ofdifferent like imprints.
And it's all based on the lifethat you've had previously and
who we are as humans.
We have two main players in thenervous system in our central
nervous system.
So we have the sympatheticnervous system known as SNS.
(03:16):
This is what you know as fightor flight.
This is what mobilizes you whenyou're in danger.
Increases your heart rate,dilates your pupils, pumps blood
to your muscles.
Think anxiety, panic, stress,anger, go, go, go, go, go.
Energy.
Okay?
And then you have theparasympathetic nervous system,
your PNS, which you might haveheard of, called your rest and
digest.
(03:36):
It calms you down, it brings youback to a baseline to
homeostasis, but it has twobranches.
Ventral vagal, which is whereyou feel safe, calm, connected,
social.
This is where you experienceease and joy.
This is where we wanna spendmost of our time.
This is where my clients get to.
You also have dorsal vagal,which is you may have heard of,
(03:58):
called your freeze or fawnresponse, where you go into
collapse and shut down.
So the dorsal vagal response iswhen your system gets so
overwhelmed, it slams thebrakes.
Think numbing out,disconnection.
Lying in bed, zoning outexhaustion.
The reason the word fawn is usedis because deer play dead when
(04:18):
they're afraid of being eaten,basically.
So it's not the same as fight orflight.
It's, I can't fight anymore.
I can't run, I'm checking out.
That tends to be where peoplego.
You can go both ways, right?
You can get really anxious andoverwhelmed.
Go into high sympathetic and tryto do all the things, get really
anxious, and then getoverwhelmed and continue to try
to do things to fix it.
(04:40):
Or what often happens withoverwhelm is you will do that,
so you get really anxious andoverwhelmed, try to do, do, do,
fix, fix, fix.
And it gets so overwhelming thatyou boom, crash and shut down.
This might look like a fullshutdown, like you can't get
outta bed.
Or it might just look likeprocrastination.
This will show up asprocrastination, right?
And then we call ourselves aprocrastinator.
We say, what can I get?
(05:00):
I'm so lazy.
No, your nervous system is justin dorsal, in shutdown.
So it's a very normal response,and either of these things going
into sympathetic or oral canhappen very easily when we
disrupt the status quo.
Which is what you're doing whenyou're trying to change your
life, right?
Transformation is veryconfronting.
It is not comfortable.
(05:20):
That is our brain's job, is todo anything it can to keep us
comfortable.
So when we do something likesign up for a new program, get a
coach, start a diet, startworking out, start meditating.
Whatever it is, trying to stopdrinking, stop binge eating,
whatever the behavior is that'suncomfortable.
(05:41):
It requires effort.
And your brain's literal job isto conserve effort, which is why
you will have these thoughts.
Like, it's not worth it.
What's the point?
We'll just deal with ittomorrow.
We'll deal with it on Monday.
Right?
And then you're, as a result ofthose thoughts, what do you do?
You leave it till Monday, youjust eat all the things.
(06:02):
Your actions are a direct resultof your thoughts and your
results are the consequence ofyour actions.
So I hope you can see how yournervous system and your thoughts
create who you are, what you do,and create the result that you
get.
So I want you to know that thisis a very human, normal
(06:22):
behaviour, coming into fear,falling into self-doubt when
you're trying to do somethinghuge, like change your body,
change your life, change yourlifestyle.
So that's the first thing thatyou need to know.
Now, here's what I'll share withyou.
After 15 plus years of coachingwomen and of course myself, let
me you.
This knowledge is gold.
Okay?
So I want you to take a deepbreath, grab a drink, get your
(06:46):
water, get your coffee, get yourvino, whatever.
Let's get started.
So first things first, I'vedefinitely seen this happen,
right?
With new clients.
And I will tell you too, thatwhen I was a newer coach, a, it
happened more frequently'cause Iwasn't the coach who I am now.
And B, I thought that it was aresult of something that I was
doing and now I am unshakablyconfident that it's not.
(07:06):
'cause I know that it's humannature, right?
And I know how to coach peoplethrough it.
So let's imagine an imaginarywoman for a second, right?
Perhaps you can see yourself asher.
Busy, high achieving workingwoman, probably just like you.
She's juggling work.
Maybe family, or maybe not, youknow, maybe she's looking for a
relationship.
She's just had a rough week ortwo or month or year, whatever
(07:29):
it is, she feels off track,right?
Her workouts are not existent.
Her healthy eating out thewindow, she says, I need help
with that.
She hits rock bottom.
She reaches out and asks forhelp, whether that be hiring a
coach, starting a class,starting a diet.
She says to me, I've been sobusy, Anne, I haven't even
(07:49):
thought about my workouts or mynutrition for weeks.
Does this sound familiar?
Right.
I've fallen off track.
We start to buy into this story.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
We've all been there, right?
It's a classic story andhonestly, it's no one's fault.
Life happens, but the reactionto it is where things get
tricky.
Here's where we have a choicewhen you fall, whether when you
fall off track, whether it's noteven starting or falling off
(08:11):
track after six days, which isthe average duration of a diet,
by the way, or, I always sayseven weeks and seven months in
a client.
I always warn them there's aseven week slump and there's a
seven month slump.
Seven for seven weeks.
You can like be pretty hot andfire.
Things are still exciting.
Working out is new and fun afterseven weeks.
It feels like monotony starts tokick in and then we start to get
(08:33):
a little bit like, oh, am Igonna do this forever?
Which is wild.
So your plan has to besustainable, but that's very
normal.
Seven weeks.
And then month seven people canmaintain stain for six, seven
months.
Month seven starts to get alittle bit tricky.
So that's the point where I wantto be speaking to you right now.
'cause you can either getconsumed by guilt, let shame
(08:54):
take over, make it meansomething about you.
And disappear into the void.
Or you can choose to show upeven if it's messy.
You see most people's defaultreaction when they've fallen off
track is to vanish.
'cause it would be veryuncomfortable to admit that, you
know, they're scared.
It's hard, they need more help,they did something wrong.
(09:14):
Brain doesn't like that.
It's much more comfortable tojust opt out.
And plus, remember what I saidbefore, nervous system goes into
dorsal and to shut down.
It requires a little bit ofenergy and action to get outta
that fear and self doubt comeup.
You don't wanna deal with it.
You're embarrassed.
You might even feel shame.
You might have thoughts that youare letting yourself down if you
(09:35):
have a coach that you're lettingyour coach down.
But I'm here to tell you thatnone of that is true, and here's
why.
You don't need to be perfect tosucceed.
And I really want you to hear mesay that again.
You don't need to be perfect.
Perfectionism is a trap and Iwant you to escape it.
That's the only way.
Honestly, in clients who aresuccessful, they do not accept
perfectionism as the way thatthey need to be.
(09:56):
They are tenacious, resilient,resourceful, and they do not
accept a blip.
As like a complete derailment,just because you're scared, just
'cause you missed a workout.
Just'cause this is new and scaryand you've never done it before
you, it's not like easy just'cause you ate that entire pizza
or skipped your check-in withyour coach.
(10:18):
It doesn't define you and itdoes not define your progress
until the moment that you allowit to, that you buy into it,
that you make it who you are.
So here's a little secret thatI've learned.
A big part of why we get stuckin this cycle is because we as
modern humans, this comes backto nervous system, but like
modern day nervous system, welike to gamify everything,
(10:41):
right?
Everything is a fricking game.
People love to gamify thingsbecause it gives you a dopamine
hit.
We love to check a box and thenwe say it's'cause we're a high
achiever, we're type A.
No, it's'cause you're getting adopamine hit, especially if it's
a digital box.
Check a box.
And there's nothing wrong withthis because external
accountability is required atthe beginning, but when you're
constantly looking to gamifythings, you guys have heard me
(11:03):
say this before.
Healthy nutrition is fuckingboring.
It's not exciting.
It's not a game.
This is another thing with Ifeel people get into with like
tracking macros as well.
It becomes a game to them tolike maintain those numbers and
then they get completelyderailed if they're not fitting
the numbers into the box intheir little tick tick app.
So, you know, I'm gonna say it'snot all or nothing.
(11:24):
It's not like you can't haveGoogle Calendar and you can't
have a to-Do list app you can'ttrack if you need to track for a
bit, but I just want you to knowif you can see yourself
gamifying this.
If you can see yourself lookingfor instant gratification.
cause that's something I hear alot too.
I need to see a result to keepgoing.
Well, you're gonna have a toughtime then because you're not
instantly gonna be like gettingpoints and seeing results all of
(11:47):
the time.
We're chasing that dopamine hit.
The thrill of winning bychecking off every single box.
If you, we can't see thatvictory right away.
We feel like it's game over.
But here's the thing about life.
I actually often say life is avideo game.
You just like choose your ownadventure, but it's also not a
video game.
Right?
And we don't get points forbeing perfect.
You don't even, you don't getpoints at all.
(12:07):
Actually, the dopamine hit isnot gonna come from a perfect
streak of consistency.
I know you get a hit for that,and it's okay.
We can utilize that to keep yougoing and to keep you motivated,
but we cannot rely on it.
We can rely on your consistencyand the momentum you build even
when things aren't perfect.
This shit is easy when it'seasy, right?
(12:27):
It's easy.
When everything's going great,you're seeing the scale go down.
You're like, mm mm Show me whoyou are.
When you stop losing and youstop gaining, show me who you
are when we have to spend amonth out of the gym'cause
you're injured.
Show me who you are when we'reprepping you for fat loss
because you've been undereatingfor 25 years.
(12:49):
That's the person you need to beto keep going.
Not the person who needs to seeresults to stay motivated.
Sorry.
So once we realize this and letgo of that need for instant
rewards, we can really startmaking progress like real
permanent progress.
So here are three actionablesteps to enlist when you wanna
ghost on yourself, your coach,your program, whatever, number
(13:12):
one.
I call this sometimes, name it,to tame it, acknowledge it, and
forgive yourself.
Seriously.
Just stop right now.
Just like interject.
This is just a thought.
It's not true.
It's just something my brain issaying to me because I feel
awkward and uncomfortable.
Take a moment and think, Hey,I've been hard on myself.
That's okay.
I'm human.
I'm not perfect.
And if you're new, I want you tosay, I'm new at this.
Like I'm just learning guilt andshame will not get you back on
(13:35):
track.
Even more so for women, this isone of the reasons that I coach
women specifically, is'causewomen are motivated differently
than men.
Rarely are women motivated byshame and hoorah.
We are motivated by, I know itsounds cheesy.
We're motivated by love and likefeeling good.
Guilt does not help you get backon track.
(13:57):
You don't need a kick in thepants.
You don't need me to yell atyou.
Self-compassion will get youback on track.
Seriously, ask any of myclients.
Self-compassion will get youback on track.
You cannot move forward untilyou let go of that headiness,
and I get it.
Sometimes it feels like youshould feel bad, right?
Brain tells you, but you effedup, but you should be better.
Okay, that's not gonna get youback going, right?
(14:20):
I get it.
Let it go.
When a client comes to mefeeling guilty or wanting to
back out, I know that once shelets go of that guilt and fear,
she can finally take the nextstep.
But she needs to do that.
First tip number two, simpleplan, not a perfect plan.
You've heard me say this before.
Plan has to be realistic.
Plan has to fit into your lifewhen you try to fit your life
into a very rigid 75 hard.
(14:43):
Plan for 20-year-old Bali yogainstructors approach doesn't
work, right?
It's not sustainable.
You're gonna fall off and thenyou're gonna poop all over
yourself about it.
So if you've fallen off track,don't try to suddenly do, get
everything back in one go.
'cause that's probably part ofthe reason that you fell off
track initially, is perhaps youwere trying to do too many
things all at once.
You can do it all.
(15:03):
You just can't do it all, all atonce.
That creates overwhelm.
Remember I talked to you about,we start to go to anxiety of all
these things that I have to do,and then we get overwhelmed, and
then we shut down and we eitherburn out or completely shut
down.
So instead, I want you to breakit down.
Start small.
What's the first step?
Brain loves first step.
(15:24):
Maybe it's just 10 minutes ofmovement, right?
Maybe it's one nourishing mealToday it is about building
momentum, not perfection.
I've certainly had clients whomade the mistake of thinking
that once she, you know, shemissed a few weeks, or even a
week or a few days, just threweverything out the window.
But once we focus on the nextrealistic step.
Back on track.
(15:44):
No problem.
That brings me to number three,which is to get support.
This one is huge, you guys, andI don't just mean like, hiring a
trainer or starting a diet,which again, on average lasts
only six days.
For these reasons that I'm justtalking about.
If you have been off track for awhile or perhaps you've never
done this before, or it's been areally long time, you're going
to need accountability andsupport.
(16:06):
You're going to need externalaccountability before you're
gonna be internally motivated.
This is also something I hear alot from women is like, I should
be able to do this on my own.
I could probably do this.
No, people don't do it on theirown.
That's why I have a job.
Like that's why coaching exists.
People don't do this on theirown most of the time.
Eventually, yeah.
After a year or two of support,you don't have to do this alone.
(16:27):
You're not getting a hero cookiefor doing it on your own.
Nobody cares.
If you isolate yourself, it isharder to get back and stay on
track.
I've seen many women learn thislesson the hard way.
And then once they do, once theyget into a support system,
community is super helpful aswell.
You feel re-energized and readyto keep going.
You see other people having thesame tenacity, the same like
(16:49):
blips that you do, it normalizesit for you.
That's what motivates you tokeep going, not executing
perfectly by yourself andgetting some mysterious hero
cookie.
So let's wrap it up here.
You fell off track.
Okay, cool.
Whatever.
Here's what matters.
You decide what happens next.
You decide what happens next.
You have the power to choose howyou react.
(17:10):
You are gonna sit in victim modeand be like, this happened to
me.
I broke my foot.
This sucks.
I can't, I'm scared, blah, blah,blah.
Or you're gonna empoweryourself.
Put, make yourself the maincharacter as they say, and
choose what you're gonna donext.
Do you stay stuck in guilt andshame, or do you choose to
actually pick yourself up, dustyourself off, and get back in
the game and show yourself thatyou are a woman who can do this
(17:33):
consistently with tenacity?
Because I believe in you, and Iknow that if you take these
steps, use these three tips thatI just told you, you'll bounce
back way quicker than you think.
Way quicker than if you arelike, oh, I suck.
I always do this.
Do.
It is not about being perfect.
It is about being persistent,tenacious, showing up even when
(17:54):
you're not perfect, and trustingthe process so deeply.
And here is a great wayactually, that I'm going to
offer you to jumpstart yourprogress.
I'm offering a free challenge.
It's five days, okay?
You can commit to five daysregardless of what is going on
in your life.
It is called the StrongHERchallenge.
It is a free five day strengthand confidence challenge for
(18:15):
women, 30 plus who want to buildstrength so confident AF and
stay consistent without wastingtheir time on the wrong
workouts.
So if you are feeling stuck,uninspired, overwhelmed, this
free challenge is an excellentway to reset and you will have
access to me.
You can talk to me about thisspecific topic if you would
like.
This is all about buildingconfidence, strength, and
mindset in a way that issustainable.
(18:37):
Not perfect.
It's just showing up and gettingyour momentum back, giving you
those wins, showing you that youcan do it'cause that's what you
need.
So what are you waiting for?
Join the StrongHER challengetoday.
There is no catch.
It's totally free.
We start together on Tuesday,May 20th, which is the day after
the long weekend here in Canada.
It's completely free.
It's exactly what you need toget back on track or stay on
(18:59):
track or show yourself that youcan get on track at all with
simple actionable steps thatwill get you that dopamine hit
without all the pressure.
And then I will teach you how tokeep going.
I'll put the link in the shownotes here so you can sign up
for the free challenge.
Let's do this together.
that's it for today, my friend.
Remember, no matter how far offtrack you.
Think that you've gone.
It is never too late to get backin the game.
(19:21):
If you need help, reach out.
I've got your back, and if thisresonated with you, please take
a moment to give this podcast afive star review, share it with
someone who needs to hear this,and let's keep growing together.
We need each other.
So until next time, stayconfident, stay strong, keep
showing up.
I love you.
I mean it.
Have a great day.
See you next week.
Hey, hey.
Welcome back to the Muscles andMindset Revolution podcast.
The podcast for busy, ambitiouswomen who are tired of chasing
quick fixes and are ready tofinally achieve real lasting
results, stronger bodies,sustainable habits, and
long-term weight loss.
I'm your host, Anne Jones,certified life coach and fitness
professional for over 15 years.
(00:21):
Here to help you break free frominconsistency, overwhelm, and
burnout.
Okay, welcome back to the pod.
I wanna talk about somethingthat we've all been through, you
start something strong, right?
Especially my all or nothinghigh achiever, ladies, you start
something strong.
Everything's going according toplan, and then bam, life hits
(00:44):
you, right?
You fall off track.
The workouts stop, the healthyhabits fade.
Maybe it's not even because lifehit you, maybe hit you, you
maybe you just fell off, right?
And then maybe you find yourselfin a place where you feel like
it's all over and you think,what the hell is wrong with me?
Why can't I stay consistent?
Guess what?
This happens, okay?
It happens to the best of us.
(01:04):
And today I'm gonna shareexactly what I want you to do
when you fall off track,especially if you've been stuck
in that cycle for a while.
So let's get into it.
Now first, let me tell you, thisis not just about getting back
on track.
I actually don't even love thatphrase, and I tell my clients
this all the time.
I don't in my life, I never falloff track and get back on track
(01:26):
because I just don't phrase itor see it that way.
I never see it as a stop startthis is how my most successful
clients see it as well.
They just see life as like.
A cycle, it just keeps going.
But when we have this perceptionthat there's a beginning point
and an end point, and if we f itup anywhere in there, we're
starting all over, you will befalling, you'll be falling off
track and constantly trying toget back on track.
(01:48):
So I, it takes a while to get tothe point that I'm at,
obviously, but.
I don't even love that phrasing'cause I just want you to think
that you're, you just continueon.
I really, it's really more abouttenacity.
But we've all heard that amillion times, right?
Just get back on track and justlike get back on the horse and
it's not that easy.
So what I wanna dive into todayis what do you actually do in
(02:11):
that moment when it feels likeyou've completely fallen off the
rails when your brain,'causeyes, your brain will tell you.
Why bother?
It's too late.
I'm too far gone.
I'm just not cut out for this.
And this happens a lot,especially in the beginning of
your journey per this keepspeople from even starting.
For literally years.
It also happens when we getoverwhelmed and this is a common
(02:33):
pitfall, and guess what?
It's completely normal.
So I want to very briefly tellyou why this happens, because it
is a normal human nervous systemresponse.
And then I'm gonna share withyou what I want you to do to
quote unquote get out of it.
So the reason that this evenhappens at all.
Is because your nervous systemgoes into shutdown.
(02:54):
Okay?
So real quick, your nervoussystem is your brain.
Your brain stem, your spinalcord and it rules the whole of
your body.
And it has these sort ofdifferent like imprints.
And it's all based on the lifethat you've had previously and
who we are as humans.
We have two main players in thenervous system in our central
nervous system.
So we have the sympatheticnervous system known as SNS.
(03:16):
This is what you know as fightor flight.
This is what mobilizes you whenyou're in danger.
Increases your heart rate,dilates your pupils, pumps blood
to your muscles.
Think anxiety, panic, stress,anger, go, go, go, go, go.
Energy.
Okay?
And then you have theparasympathetic nervous system,
your PNS, which you might haveheard of, called your rest and
digest.
(03:36):
It calms you down, it brings youback to a baseline to
homeostasis, but it has twobranches.
Ventral vagal, which is whereyou feel safe, calm, connected,
social.
This is where you experienceease and joy.
This is where we wanna spendmost of our time.
This is where my clients get to.
You also have dorsal vagal,which is you may have heard of,
(03:58):
called your freeze or fawnresponse, where you go into
collapse and shut down.
So the dorsal vagal response iswhen your system gets so
overwhelmed, it slams thebrakes.
Think numbing out,disconnection.
Lying in bed, zoning outexhaustion.
The reason the word fawn is usedis because deer play dead when
(04:18):
they're afraid of being eaten,basically.
So it's not the same as fight orflight.
It's, I can't fight anymore.
I can't run, I'm checking out.
That tends to be where peoplego.
You can go both ways, right?
You can get really anxious andoverwhelmed.
Go into high sympathetic and tryto do all the things, get really
anxious, and then getoverwhelmed and continue to try
to do things to fix it.
(04:40):
Or what often happens withoverwhelm is you will do that,
so you get really anxious andoverwhelmed, try to do, do, do,
fix, fix, fix.
And it gets so overwhelming thatyou boom, crash and shut down.
This might look like a fullshutdown, like you can't get
outta bed.
Or it might just look likeprocrastination.
This will show up asprocrastination, right?
And then we call ourselves aprocrastinator.
We say, what can I get?
(05:00):
I'm so lazy.
No, your nervous system is justin dorsal, in shutdown.
So it's a very normal response,and either of these things going
into sympathetic or oral canhappen very easily when we
disrupt the status quo.
Which is what you're doing whenyou're trying to change your
life, right?
Transformation is veryconfronting.
It is not comfortable.
(05:20):
That is our brain's job, is todo anything it can to keep us
comfortable.
So when we do something likesign up for a new program, get a
coach, start a diet, startworking out, start meditating.
Whatever it is, trying to stopdrinking, stop binge eating,
whatever the behavior is that'suncomfortable.
(05:41):
It requires effort.
And your brain's literal job isto conserve effort, which is why
you will have these thoughts.
Like, it's not worth it.
What's the point?
We'll just deal with ittomorrow.
We'll deal with it on Monday.
Right?
And then you're, as a result ofthose thoughts, what do you do?
You leave it till Monday, youjust eat all the things.
(06:02):
Your actions are a direct resultof your thoughts and your
results are the consequence ofyour actions.
So I hope you can see how yournervous system and your thoughts
create who you are, what you do,and create the result that you
get.
So I want you to know that thisis a very human, normal
(06:22):
behaviour, coming into fear,falling into self-doubt when
you're trying to do somethinghuge, like change your body,
change your life, change yourlifestyle.
So that's the first thing thatyou need to know.
Now, here's what I'll share withyou.
After 15 plus years of coachingwomen and of course myself, let
me you.
This knowledge is gold.
Okay?
So I want you to take a deepbreath, grab a drink, get your
(06:46):
water, get your coffee, get yourvino, whatever.
Let's get started.
So first things first, I'vedefinitely seen this happen,
right?
With new clients.
And I will tell you too, thatwhen I was a newer coach, a, it
happened more frequently'cause Iwasn't the coach who I am now.
And B, I thought that it was aresult of something that I was
doing and now I am unshakablyconfident that it's not.
(07:06):
'cause I know that it's humannature, right?
And I know how to coach peoplethrough it.
So let's imagine an imaginarywoman for a second, right?
Perhaps you can see yourself asher.
Busy, high achieving workingwoman, probably just like you.
She's juggling work.
Maybe family, or maybe not, youknow, maybe she's looking for a
relationship.
She's just had a rough week ortwo or month or year, whatever
(07:29):
it is, she feels off track,right?
Her workouts are not existent.
Her healthy eating out thewindow, she says, I need help
with that.
She hits rock bottom.
She reaches out and asks forhelp, whether that be hiring a
coach, starting a class,starting a diet.
She says to me, I've been sobusy, Anne, I haven't even
(07:49):
thought about my workouts or mynutrition for weeks.
Does this sound familiar?
Right.
I've fallen off track.
We start to buy into this story.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
We've all been there, right?
It's a classic story andhonestly, it's no one's fault.
Life happens, but the reactionto it is where things get
tricky.
Here's where we have a choicewhen you fall, whether when you
fall off track, whether it's noteven starting or falling off
(08:11):
track after six days, which isthe average duration of a diet,
by the way, or, I always sayseven weeks and seven months in
a client.
I always warn them there's aseven week slump and there's a
seven month slump.
Seven for seven weeks.
You can like be pretty hot andfire.
Things are still exciting.
Working out is new and fun afterseven weeks.
It feels like monotony starts tokick in and then we start to get
(08:33):
a little bit like, oh, am Igonna do this forever?
Which is wild.
So your plan has to besustainable, but that's very
normal.
Seven weeks.
And then month seven people canmaintain stain for six, seven
months.
Month seven starts to get alittle bit tricky.
So that's the point where I wantto be speaking to you right now.
'cause you can either getconsumed by guilt, let shame
(08:54):
take over, make it meansomething about you.
And disappear into the void.
Or you can choose to show upeven if it's messy.
You see most people's defaultreaction when they've fallen off
track is to vanish.
'cause it would be veryuncomfortable to admit that, you
know, they're scared.
It's hard, they need more help,they did something wrong.
(09:14):
Brain doesn't like that.
It's much more comfortable tojust opt out.
And plus, remember what I saidbefore, nervous system goes into
dorsal and to shut down.
It requires a little bit ofenergy and action to get outta
that fear and self doubt comeup.
You don't wanna deal with it.
You're embarrassed.
You might even feel shame.
You might have thoughts that youare letting yourself down if you
(09:35):
have a coach that you're lettingyour coach down.
But I'm here to tell you thatnone of that is true, and here's
why.
You don't need to be perfect tosucceed.
And I really want you to hear mesay that again.
You don't need to be perfect.
Perfectionism is a trap and Iwant you to escape it.
That's the only way.
Honestly, in clients who aresuccessful, they do not accept
perfectionism as the way thatthey need to be.
(09:56):
They are tenacious, resilient,resourceful, and they do not
accept a blip.
As like a complete derailment,just because you're scared, just
'cause you missed a workout.
Just'cause this is new and scaryand you've never done it before
you, it's not like easy just'cause you ate that entire pizza
or skipped your check-in withyour coach.
(10:18):
It doesn't define you and itdoes not define your progress
until the moment that you allowit to, that you buy into it,
that you make it who you are.
So here's a little secret thatI've learned.
A big part of why we get stuckin this cycle is because we as
modern humans, this comes backto nervous system, but like
modern day nervous system, welike to gamify everything,
(10:41):
right?
Everything is a fricking game.
People love to gamify thingsbecause it gives you a dopamine
hit.
We love to check a box and thenwe say it's'cause we're a high
achiever, we're type A.
No, it's'cause you're getting adopamine hit, especially if it's
a digital box.
Check a box.
And there's nothing wrong withthis because external
accountability is required atthe beginning, but when you're
constantly looking to gamifythings, you guys have heard me
(11:03):
say this before.
Healthy nutrition is fuckingboring.
It's not exciting.
It's not a game.
This is another thing with Ifeel people get into with like
tracking macros as well.
It becomes a game to them tolike maintain those numbers and
then they get completelyderailed if they're not fitting
the numbers into the box intheir little tick tick app.
So, you know, I'm gonna say it'snot all or nothing.
(11:24):
It's not like you can't haveGoogle Calendar and you can't
have a to-Do list app you can'ttrack if you need to track for a
bit, but I just want you to knowif you can see yourself
gamifying this.
If you can see yourself lookingfor instant gratification.
cause that's something I hear alot too.
I need to see a result to keepgoing.
Well, you're gonna have a toughtime then because you're not
instantly gonna be like gettingpoints and seeing results all of
(11:47):
the time.
We're chasing that dopamine hit.
The thrill of winning bychecking off every single box.
If you, we can't see thatvictory right away.
We feel like it's game over.
But here's the thing about life.
I actually often say life is avideo game.
You just like choose your ownadventure, but it's also not a
video game.
Right?
And we don't get points forbeing perfect.
You don't even, you don't getpoints at all.
(12:07):
Actually, the dopamine hit isnot gonna come from a perfect
streak of consistency.
I know you get a hit for that,and it's okay.
We can utilize that to keep yougoing and to keep you motivated,
but we cannot rely on it.
We can rely on your consistencyand the momentum you build even
when things aren't perfect.
This shit is easy when it'seasy, right?
(12:27):
It's easy.
When everything's going great,you're seeing the scale go down.
You're like, mm mm Show me whoyou are.
When you stop losing and youstop gaining, show me who you
are when we have to spend amonth out of the gym'cause
you're injured.
Show me who you are when we'reprepping you for fat loss
because you've been undereatingfor 25 years.
(12:49):
That's the person you need to beto keep going.
Not the person who needs to seeresults to stay motivated.
Sorry.
So once we realize this and letgo of that need for instant
rewards, we can really startmaking progress like real
permanent progress.
So here are three actionablesteps to enlist when you wanna
ghost on yourself, your coach,your program, whatever, number
(13:12):
one.
I call this sometimes, name it,to tame it, acknowledge it, and
forgive yourself.
Seriously.
Just stop right now.
Just like interject.
This is just a thought.
It's not true.
It's just something my brain issaying to me because I feel
awkward and uncomfortable.
Take a moment and think, Hey,I've been hard on myself.
That's okay.
I'm human.
I'm not perfect.
And if you're new, I want you tosay, I'm new at this.
Like I'm just learning guilt andshame will not get you back on
(13:35):
track.
Even more so for women, this isone of the reasons that I coach
women specifically, is'causewomen are motivated differently
than men.
Rarely are women motivated byshame and hoorah.
We are motivated by, I know itsounds cheesy.
We're motivated by love and likefeeling good.
Guilt does not help you get backon track.
(13:57):
You don't need a kick in thepants.
You don't need me to yell atyou.
Self-compassion will get youback on track.
Seriously, ask any of myclients.
Self-compassion will get youback on track.
You cannot move forward untilyou let go of that headiness,
and I get it.
Sometimes it feels like youshould feel bad, right?
Brain tells you, but you effedup, but you should be better.
Okay, that's not gonna get youback going, right?
(14:20):
I get it.
Let it go.
When a client comes to mefeeling guilty or wanting to
back out, I know that once shelets go of that guilt and fear,
she can finally take the nextstep.
But she needs to do that.
First tip number two, simpleplan, not a perfect plan.
You've heard me say this before.
Plan has to be realistic.
Plan has to fit into your lifewhen you try to fit your life
into a very rigid 75 hard.
(14:43):
Plan for 20-year-old Bali yogainstructors approach doesn't
work, right?
It's not sustainable.
You're gonna fall off and thenyou're gonna poop all over
yourself about it.
So if you've fallen off track,don't try to suddenly do, get
everything back in one go.
'cause that's probably part ofthe reason that you fell off
track initially, is perhaps youwere trying to do too many
things all at once.
You can do it all.
(15:03):
You just can't do it all, all atonce.
That creates overwhelm.
Remember I talked to you about,we start to go to anxiety of all
these things that I have to do,and then we get overwhelmed, and
then we shut down and we eitherburn out or completely shut
down.
So instead, I want you to breakit down.
Start small.
What's the first step?
Brain loves first step.
(15:24):
Maybe it's just 10 minutes ofmovement, right?
Maybe it's one nourishing mealToday it is about building
momentum, not perfection.
I've certainly had clients whomade the mistake of thinking
that once she, you know, shemissed a few weeks, or even a
week or a few days, just threweverything out the window.
But once we focus on the nextrealistic step.
Back on track.
(15:44):
No problem.
That brings me to number three,which is to get support.
This one is huge, you guys, andI don't just mean like, hiring a
trainer or starting a diet,which again, on average lasts
only six days.
For these reasons that I'm justtalking about.
If you have been off track for awhile or perhaps you've never
done this before, or it's been areally long time, you're going
to need accountability andsupport.
(16:06):
You're going to need externalaccountability before you're
gonna be internally motivated.
This is also something I hear alot from women is like, I should
be able to do this on my own.
I could probably do this.
No, people don't do it on theirown.
That's why I have a job.
Like that's why coaching exists.
People don't do this on theirown most of the time.
Eventually, yeah.
After a year or two of support,you don't have to do this alone.
(16:27):
You're not getting a hero cookiefor doing it on your own.
Nobody cares.
If you isolate yourself, it isharder to get back and stay on
track.
I've seen many women learn thislesson the hard way.
And then once they do, once theyget into a support system,
community is super helpful aswell.
You feel re-energized and readyto keep going.
You see other people having thesame tenacity, the same like
(16:49):
blips that you do, it normalizesit for you.
That's what motivates you tokeep going, not executing
perfectly by yourself andgetting some mysterious hero
cookie.
So let's wrap it up here.
You fell off track.
Okay, cool.
Whatever.
Here's what matters.
You decide what happens next.
You decide what happens next.
You have the power to choose howyou react.
(17:10):
You are gonna sit in victim modeand be like, this happened to
me.
I broke my foot.
This sucks.
I can't, I'm scared, blah, blah,blah.
Or you're gonna empoweryourself.
Put, make yourself the maincharacter as they say, and
choose what you're gonna donext.
Do you stay stuck in guilt andshame, or do you choose to
actually pick yourself up, dustyourself off, and get back in
the game and show yourself thatyou are a woman who can do this
(17:33):
consistently with tenacity?
Because I believe in you, and Iknow that if you take these
steps, use these three tips thatI just told you, you'll bounce
back way quicker than you think.
Way quicker than if you arelike, oh, I suck.
I always do this.
Do.
It is not about being perfect.
It is about being persistent,tenacious, showing up even when
(17:54):
you're not perfect, and trustingthe process so deeply.
And here is a great wayactually, that I'm going to
offer you to jumpstart yourprogress.
I'm offering a free challenge.
It's five days, okay?
You can commit to five daysregardless of what is going on
in your life.
It is called the StrongHERchallenge.
It is a free five day strengthand confidence challenge for
(18:15):
women, 30 plus who want to buildstrength so confident AF and
stay consistent without wastingtheir time on the wrong
workouts.
So if you are feeling stuck,uninspired, overwhelmed, this
free challenge is an excellentway to reset and you will have
access to me.
You can talk to me about thisspecific topic if you would
like.
This is all about buildingconfidence, strength, and
mindset in a way that issustainable.
(18:37):
Not perfect.
It's just showing up and gettingyour momentum back, giving you
those wins, showing you that youcan do it'cause that's what you
need.
So what are you waiting for?
Join the StrongHER challengetoday.
There is no catch.
It's totally free.
We start together on Tuesday,May 20th, which is the day after
the long weekend here in Canada.
It's completely free.
It's exactly what you need toget back on track or stay on
(18:59):
track or show yourself that youcan get on track at all with
simple actionable steps thatwill get you that dopamine hit
without all the pressure.
And then I will teach you how tokeep going.
I'll put the link in the shownotes here so you can sign up
for the free challenge.
Let's do this together.
that's it for today, my friend.
Remember, no matter how far offtrack you.
Think that you've gone.
It is never too late to get backin the game.
(19:21):
If you need help, reach out.
I've got your back, and if thisresonated with you, please take
a moment to give this podcast afive star review, share it with
someone who needs to hear this,and let's keep growing together.
We need each other.
So until next time, stayconfident, stay strong, keep
showing up.
I love you.
I mean it.
Have a great day.
See you next week.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.