Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to the Muscles andMindset Revolution, the podcast
(00:03):
for ambitious women who want tobuild strength, feel confident
and lose fat for good, withoutcounting calories or BS quick
fixes.
I'm your host, Anne Jones,certified life coach, personal
trainer, and mindset expert.
After 15 plus years in thefitness industry, I know the
real key to lasting change isn'tjust what you do, it's how you
think.
If you're ready to shift yourmindset, build a lifestyle you
(00:23):
love and feel confident af,you're in the right place.
Let's dive in.
Okay, my friend, let's talkabout November.
the theme has been the same, atleast in my community with my
clients for the past few havingbeen a trainer and a coach for
15 years, every year at thistime of year, it goes like this,
right?
It's like I, I've seen it.
I see it all the time.
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September is crazy.
Back to school.
And then.
everybody gets sick, if theyweren't like taking care of
their immunity in October.
And then after Halloween thingskind of go sideways.
And then by November, everyNovember without fail, women
tell me my motivation is gone,or it's low.
I feel tired after daylightsavings time, my routine is
slipping.
I don't know what's wrong withme.
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I need a reset.
If you can relate to that,you're not alone, but here's the
truth that no one is saying.
It's not just you.
It's November.
I literally just told you, thishappens every year.
but you get so much data,especially having done this job,
and I look forward to the next15 years of coaching.
I get to see these seasonsrepeat in my clients who are
essentially in the samedemographic, ambitious women who
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are moms and or working, mostlyworking women.
Over the age of 35, so I justwant to validate there are real
physiological reasons whyeverything feels harder.
If you're listening inmid-November and you've been
staring at your workout shoes,like they've personally offended
you, and your salad sounds likea punishment, and your kids'
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schools emails notifications aregiving you hard palpitations
like they do to me.
This episode is for you becauseevery single November without
fail.
Women tell me, I don't know whatis wrong with me.
I was doing so well, and everysingle November I say the same
thing right back.
Nothing is wrong with you.
It's November.
So today I'm walking you throughwhy your motivation falls off a
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cliff this month, how yourbody's trying to protect you,
and how to stay consistent in away that feels doable, gentle,
and grounded.
Let's get into it.
let's zoom out and talk aboutwhat actually happens in your
body every November, especiallyif you are an ambitious woman
with a full life, not to thesurface level seasonal slump,
but the physical chain reactionhappening inside of you.
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Here's the November reality.
Daylight is gone, serotonin islow dopamine, lower cortisol,
higher.
Sleep worse, your cravingshigher, more temptation.
Your patience is non-existent,and to-do lists are mutating
like gremlins after midnight.
Your nervous system is basicallywaving a tiny little white flag.
Whispering.
I'm overwhelmed.
If you are a mom, a leadercarrying emotional labor or
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running a home and or abusiness, multiply this by 10,
what I just said, becauseNovember is teacher gifts,
school concerts, sick kids.
Q4 work deadlines, travelplanning, family expectations,
social expectations, busyweekends decorating, feeling
guilty for skipping workouts,shame for eating differently,
and feeling behind before theholidays have even started.
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No wonder you are goddenexhausted.
Your system is notmalfunctioning.
It is protecting you.
Did you hear everything I justsaid?
When the nervous system sensesoverload, it shuts down anything
non-essential that burns extramental energy.
Things like.
Meal planning, packing your gymclothes, starting your workout,
choosing the healthier option,tidying the kitchen, sticking to
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a routine, doing a morningroutine, regulating your
emotions, saying no and settingboundaries.
So doesn't mean you're weak,this means you're human.
This month, everyone tries thesame thing.
Okay, I just need to try harder.
I have to get my shit together.
I need a reset, right?
And this reset tends to continuefrom sometime September, till
February, but if not September,November, December, and January.
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Except the trying harder doesn'twork when your nervous system is
fried.
I always say, state beforestrategy.
You definitely need a strategy,but you can't put a solid
strategy on a shoddy state or itwon't work.
Your brain literally losesaccess to discipline, executive
function, delayinggratification, and impulse
control when it is dysregulated,which means no amount of being
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good or getting motivated willhelp.
You can't out disciplinebiology.
When you push yourself from adysregulated state, your body
does not respond withmotivation.
It responds with stress.
Stress subsequently shuts downmovement, appetite, regulation,
digestion, consistency,emotional stability.
Can anybody relate to that?
Executive decision making andenergy.
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So the problem is not thatyou're not committed, it's not
that you've let yourself go.
It is not that you'll alwaysfall off around the holidays,
although you probably do, butit's because of what I'm saying.
It's not'cause you're not tryinghard enough.
The real problem is your nervoussystem doesn't have the capacity
to carry what you are attemptingto carry.
And that can be true in manyseasons, not just November.
But November is a beautifulexample because it's a month for
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intensity, it is a month foranchors.
So I'm now going to share withyou the three habits that will
save you in November, the waythat you're overtired,
overwhelmed, overstimulated overresponsible body needs number
one.
And as a high achiever, you'renot going to like this, but you
need to hear it.
I want you to lower the bar onpurpose.
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I know every like high achievingwoman listening, just flinched.
Don't turn it off.
Hear me out.
Lowering the bar doesn't makeyou lazy.
First of all, it makes you morelikely to be consistent in
November.
Your nervous system needspredictable cues.
Little signals that say you'resafe, you're supported, you got
this.
This might look like one weeklyworkout.
It might be short.
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It might look like one balancemeal today.
Maybe not meal prep for thewhole week.
It might look like one walk.
Setting a boundary for the firsttime ever.
A moment of sunlight before thedang thing sets one glass of
water, one early bedtime.
Your body doesn't need you tocrush it.
It needs you to ground it.
You can't like be fire when you,you probably don't even have a
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spark.
So I want you to remove yourstigma about lowering the bar to
think more of lowering thebarrier to entry.
And as I'm not saying if you'resomeone who's already
consistently working out fourtimes a week, don't do one
workout.
But where else can you likelower the bar of expectation a
little bit?
Okay, so that's number one islowering the bar.
Number two, I want you toregulate first and decide
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second.
This will change your entirelife.
Remember what I said about statebefore strategy before you force
yourself to work out.
Plan a healthy dinner or quoteunquote be good.
I just want you to do 30 to 90seconds of regulation.
I have tons of videos of toolson my YouTube, and I'll put some
in the show notes, but someexamples that you will actually
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use is literally just puttingyour hand on your heart, taking
a breath in, and a slow exhaleat the mouth.
If that's all you do.
I'm good with it.
Humming to stimulate your vagusnerve.
Stepping outside for 60 seconds.
I'm not kidding.
60 seconds.
You have 60 seconds droppingyour shoulders.
I could.
I just use that cue right now.
Legs up the wall.
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I have a video of that as well.
I can share with you.
10 deep belly breaths, hand onbelly, breathing into your
belly, shaking your arms like aweirdo.
It works, I promise.
Warm shower, slow.
Walk around the block.
Those are all things you can doin less than five minutes.
Most of'em take one minute, andwhat they will do is they will
bring your system back togrounding and regulation gives
your brain access to choice.
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I always say we don't make ourbest decisions from a
dysregulated place.
When you're dysregulated, yourbrain only has access to
survival, right?
That's why you end up saying yesto everything when you're
dysregulated or you end upsaying no to yourself when
you're dysregulated.
So I want you to regulate first.
And then choose.
That will change your life.
That's number two.
Number three, I want you toprotect one anchor habit.
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So this is how my clients stayconsistent even in brutal
seasons.
We begin with picking one thingthat stabilizes you.
So if you think about, you couldjournal about this too, if you
think about the things thatactually give you energy, energy
givers, like what's the biggestone.
It could be protein atbreakfast.
It could be eating lunch.
It could be 10 minute lift, 10minute evening, reset sunlight
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in the morning before you get ona screen, drinking water before
you drink coffee, stretchingbefore your kids get into their
pajamas.
Seven minute walk after dinner.
I'm not kidding.
Seven minute walk, 10 pushupsreading instead of doom
scrolling.
I will say from all my clients,the most common one I hear is
sleep.
Protecting their sleep isusually the thing that they know
that they need to, and it is forme too.
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Everything goes sideways if I'mnot sleeping.
That is like my biologicalimperative.
So protect one thing, just letit be enough, okay?
Consistency will grow fromanchors, not intensity.
It'll be so much easier for youto add a second thing, I
promise.
Okay, so now that you know whatactually works in November, I
wanna zoom out and ground thisin something even bigger because
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in order for this to work, inorder for any fat loss,
strength, or health improvementprogram, to actually change your
life long term, you need to doone thing.
You can't quit, in a calm,grounded, aligned way where you
build something so doable, soequitable, so you, so supportive
of your actual life, thatquitting actually stops even
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being an option and not quittingcomes down to three very real
things.
Number one is the program orsystem that you are doing
aligned with your personalvalues, not your perfectionist
fantasy values, or what yourfavourite Instagram influencer
says.
Her values are your actualvalues.
Do you value flexibility?
Do you value feeling calm orpeaceful?
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Do you value freedom?
Or are you forcing yourself intosomething rigid because you
think you should value whateverit is?
You cannot build consistencyinside a life that doesn't match
your values.
It won't stick.
You'll quit every time becauseyour nervous system will revolt.
So that's number one, iswhatever you're trying to do,
aligned with your values, truly.
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Number two, are you actuallydeveloping the skills that get
you through both easy seasonsand hard ones?
November.
Most women only know how to stayconsistent when life is smooth,
sunny and predictable.
I had someone tell me theretoday, uh, on a call that their
goal was for there to be no proD days and for nobody in her
house to get sick.
Those are not within ourcontrol.
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Those are not within our locusof control.
So we can't actually set thoseas goals, but we can set a goal
as to how we react and orrespond if and when those things
do happen because they will.
So remember what we talked aboutearlier, November is a stress
test.
Life will always get lifey.
So you need the skills that holdyou steady no matter what.
Regulate before deciding,lowering the bar, instead of
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lowering the standard, not thesame thing.
Choosing good enough, let goodenough be good enough, move
imperfectly and build capacityinstead of just relying on hype.
These are the real reasons thatmy clients stay consistent
through travel.
Grief, sickness, school,concerts, holidays, busy seasons
overwhelm.
Seriously.
So that's number two.
Number three, do you like whatyou're actually doing?
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Do you like it?
This is the one nobody talksabout.
There's a lot of shoulds inhealth and fitness, but do you
like it?
'cause you're not gonna keepdoing it if you don't like it,
if you hate your workout plan.
If tracking macros makes youfeel like you're 12 years old
and you're in trouble, if theprogram you're doing feels like
punishment, your brain will tapYou might be able to do it for a
while, but you won't.
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You won't want to keep doing itprobably long enough to get the
result that you want.
Enjoyment and contentment arenot bonuses.
There are requirements forconsistency.
So I want you to take a momenttoday, literally today, right
now, and answer these threequestions honestly.
If you are in the muscles andmindset free Facebook group, I
want you to share your answersthere.
You can totally DM me too.
Let people see you, let ussupport you, because if these
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three things aren't aligned, youare at risk of quitting.
If you've ever been consistent,it's probably because of one of
these three things, and everytime you quit.
I don't wanna say you go rightback to square one, but it's
like rolling a boulder up ahill.
You lose momentum.
Nothing is lost.
You've still learned what you'velearned, but it's not as easy as
it is when the boulders alreadyrolling.
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And I just don't want that foryou anymore.
I don't want it to feel like anuphill battle because it doesn't
have to.
My clients say this time andtime again, my successful
clients, after just a fewmonths, they say, I finally get
it.
Like it feels easy.
They're getting a result, and itfeels easy.
It is not a slog.
It's possible, I promise.
Let's talk briefly about whatwould make this feel unquittable
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for you.
I got that, term from my friendErin Power, who's amazing.
Okay, so I'm going to saysomething that might feel
uncomfortable, but What I knowto be true, the pain of staying
stuck where you are has tobecome heavier than the pain of
changing.
That doesn't mean that you haveto suffer.
That doesn't mean hitting rockbottom in a movie montage sort
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of way, although that does oftenhappen.
But there does come a momentwhere you look at your own life
and you say, I can't keep doingit this way because change is
always gonna be hard.
Okay?
Otherwise, you would've done italready.
Growth requires.
Some friction.
So you are, you are gonna haveto do, some hard things, but a
stronger, calmer, more confidentversion of you requires a
different way of living, right?
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You know, that, saying ifnothing changes, nothing
changes.
So first ask yourself, how readyare you really to change?
Because if you're not reallyready, you're gonna keep doing
those things you do everyNovember, right?
You're gonna either call it aday, wait till January.
Say you're gonna push harder,need more motivation.
You're gonna get up at 5:00 AMfor a week, and then it's gonna
go down the pooper, right?
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So first ask yourself, am Ireally ready to change?
Because that's actually not whatit takes.
it doesn't have to be perfect,intense or new year, new me, but
in a nervous system, friendly,aligned, values driven way that
actually lasts.
So listen, nothing's wrong withyou.
If you're not broken, nothing isunbreakably falling apart
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forever.
Your body is doing exactly whata body does under seasonal
stress and cognitive overload.
You don't need more motivation.
You do need to know your why,but you need a way of living and
training that respects biologyand builds capacity.
That is what we do inside myworld.
That is what this podcast isfor, and.
That is what it is about.
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I'm actually gonna be sharingmore about this on the podcast
the next couple weeks.
If this episode made you likeexhale, felt like relief.
That's what my clients oftensay, like, oh, okay.
It feels like relief.
Keep listening.
I have something coming forBlack Friday that is going to
help you feel stronger, calmer,and more consistent through this
entire season without relying onmotivation at all.
So watch my stories onInstagram.
(14:35):
Make sure you're on my emaillist.
I'll put the link in the shownotes here'cause good things are
coming.
If this episode resonated withyou, it means so much if you
share it with a friend, and tagme, share it on your stories,
share it on Facebook.
It helps the show to be seen bymore women so we can help more
women and just make them feelmore calm because that's what
I'm here for.
So I love you.
You're doing better than youthink, and I'll see you next
week.