January 16, 2025 • 26 mins
Ever felt the rush of setting ambitious goals at the start of the year, only to find yourself overwhelmed and exhausted? Let us take you through a transformative journey of effective goal setting that promises balance and focus without the burnout. Discover how to prioritize your aspirations across different life areas, like business, family, and personal growth, using the insightful metaphor of a wheel with spokes. We'll walk you through three practical steps to help you decide which goals deserve your attention right now, reminding you that January isn't the only time for fresh starts. Achieving a goal is just the beginning; new pathways to growth are always emerging.
Consider the notion that life’s ultimate fulfillment lies not in reaching an end point but in embracing perpetual motion. Through personal stories and philosophical insights, we challenge the conventional wisdom that success is a destination. Instead, we invite you to find meaning in the ongoing process of growth and learning. Whether you’re juggling the multifaceted responsibilities of family life or seeking a harmonious blend of personal and professional ambitions, this episode offers a reflective dialogue on finding peace and purpose in the journey itself. Join us as we redefine what true achievement means and encourage you to see the beauty in the voyage of continuous improvement.
Grab the Healthy Sustainable Weekly Rhythm Guide for Busy Moms ► ► https://aliesehalcomb.com/weeklyrhythms
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Episode Transcript
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Aliese (00:02):
Hey friends, goals, goals, goals.
Right, it's the new year.
That's all we're hearing.
That's what we're talking about.
We're excited about startingfresh, starting new and getting
things done.
I get it.
I love goal setting.
I love it.
I love dreaming and figuring,thinking of ways to improve
myself and things that I shouldget rid of, and just like what
(00:23):
new life could look like,different than what I currently
have.
Right, I love goal setting.
I really do.
But let me tell you, as someonewho has done it, trying to do
everything at one time willcrush you and, like I said, I've
done it and it will steal yourjoy.
(00:44):
It'll steal your peace.
It'll steal your peace.
It'll make you someone youdon't wanna be, because you're
trying to do all of these thingsand attain something that you
set up for yourself to be better, but now, all of a sudden, it's
worse, right.
So you can't do it all, myfriend.
You cannot do it all, and thatis what I wanna tell you.
(01:05):
As you're setting up new goals,as you're setting up new things
for this year, for 2025 orwhatever year you're watching
this in, you can't do everythingat the same time.
Now, I'm a firm believer that weshould not be focusing on just
on one area of our life andignoring all of the other ones.
Right, there are seven areas ofyour life that you should be
(01:28):
setting goals and I heard aboutthis first from Dave Ramsey, but
he didn't come up with that.
But if you focus too much onone of them, then basically it's
like a flat tire is the waythat they explained it.
So you're the wheel of life andthen each area is a spoke right
.
We're not going to get into allof the areas of life and then
each area is a spoke right.
We're not gonna get into all ofthe areas of life.
That's not what this is about.
(01:49):
But you do need to be workingon several or on different areas
of your life as you moveforward.
Right, you don't always want tobe just focusing on your
business, because if you do,then your family will suffer,
and we don't want that right.
And if you're always focusingon your family, then your family
will suffer, and we don't wantthat right.
And if you're always focusingon your family, then your
business will never get off theground and then your friendships
(02:09):
will suffer and maybe you'llnever read a book again and
you'll be burnt out by doingmore and more and more just for
your family, right?
So we want to make sure thatwe're balanced when we're making
goals, but I'm here to tell youthat you do not have to work on
them all at the same time.
Every goal that you have, myfriend, is not for right now,
(02:30):
and we're gonna take.
We're gonna walk through how toset up goals that you can
achieve right now.
We've got three steps to figureout if the goals that you're
setting at this moment areexactly what you need to be
doing right now and how toactually achieve them.
That is what this episode isabout.
(02:51):
It is about stopping settingall the goals.
You don't need to do all ofthem at the same time.
Plus, you don't have to juststart them in January.
Right, say, you set a goalright now and you achieve it.
Well, praise the Lord, good job, that's awesome, and it only
takes you till March to do it.
So what do you do after that?
(03:13):
You set new goals, my friend.
We never arrive.
We never arrive.
We're always getting better.
We're always learning andgrowing in the grace of God and
learning new things, buildingrelationships better, being
smarter by reading more books,learning new skills by watching
YouTube videos and trying it out.
(03:35):
There's all.
There is such an abundance inthis life.
We never arrive, and so you arealways moving forward, but you
can't do everything at the sametime.
So that is exactly what this isall about, right, and it's true
for everyone.
You can't really do everythingat the same time.
(03:56):
It's very hard, no matter whatseason of life you're in, but
especially for us.
We are moms with young kids,right?
Yeah, little people that aredepending on you.
Do not stress yourself out bydoing literally trying to
literally do everything.
It just won't work out.
So let's walk through thisthree-step process to be able to
(04:19):
set attainable goals for you inthis season of life, right?
And I have a little bonus atthe very end.
So stick around and don't leave, because this will help you
attain these goals, right?
So we wanna stretch ourselves100%, definitely want to stretch
, wanna be learning, but wedon't wanna break and we don't
wanna be overwhelmed to thepoint that you do nothing at all
(04:41):
.
So let's start.
Okay, the first step is todream.
This is my favorite part.
I love dreaming.
I like all the steps, actually,but maybe not the follow
through.
That's not my strongest suit,but I've put in things in place
to make sure I do do that Anywho.
So the dreaming part.
I love the dreaming part.
Like what life would look likeif I did X, y, z, right, like
(05:06):
it's probably very easy for youto come up with what you want to
do.
Like, what is that goal thatyou have, right?
Do you want to run a marathon?
Do you want to stop watching somuch television?
Are you trying to read one booka month?
Are you trying to I don't knowany of the things learn how to
bake sourdough or cookies, or,you know, grow a garden, or
(05:30):
those are all things that I do.
But your goals could be totallydifferent, right?
And so, whatever those are, nowI want you to think of these
goals Like what are they?
And I want you to think, like,very specifically about what you
want to do.
And after you have what youwant to do, I want you to dig
(05:50):
into that a little bit deeper.
Why do you want to do that?
Why do you want to run amarathon?
What would that make you feel?
How would that help you?
How would that help your family?
Like, what is it?
I ran a marathon once and I'veonly done it once and I keep
telling myself I'm gonna doanother one and I do wanna do
(06:12):
another one and I think I willat some point.
But what I really want in thispoint in my life and I keep
saying I want to run a marathonis I just wanna be healthy.
I wanna not lose that abilityto run that I worked so hard on.
I want to be healthy and strongand be able to run around with
(06:33):
my son without being tired,right?
That's the why of what I wannarun a marathon.
The other whys of why you wannarun a marathon is because it's
freaking cool, man, to say thatyou did it.
It's neat, I like it.
So I mean it doesn't have to beanything profound, but you do
want to know why you want to dothe things that you want to do.
Why is it that you want towatch less TV?
(06:55):
Because it's a good idea is notenough One.
It won't help you propelyourself forward, but it also.
We're also trying to dig intothe why, to see if what your
goal is in the next step was weevaluate it and rework it.
Because if you have the why,but the season of your life
(07:16):
right now is not conducive forthat particular goal, then maybe
not.
Maybe then you can take thatgoal, the reason why behind the
goal, and figure out how to dosomething different for that
goal.
I'm getting ahead of myself,okay?
So right now we're dreaming,we're thinking about things we
(07:39):
want to get done, things we wantto change in our life, things
we want to add, things we wantto take away, like whatever that
looks like, and we are diggingdeeper to figure out what the
driving force is.
Why do you want your kids tostop watching so much TV?
Or maybe yourself?
Maybe you want to stop watchingTV?
And because I know it's good,for me it's not enough.
Keep going.
(07:59):
Keep going, girl.
Like, is it because you knowyou're a nicer person when
you're not watching TV?
I know that if I have a podcaston or the television on or
something happening in thebackground and my son is there,
I get irritated because he'sdistracting me from this junk
that is not actually importantat that moment, right?
(08:21):
And so I want to not do thosethings when he's around, because
I know that I'm not.
I'm less, it's it's not.
It's harder for me to beoverwhelmed when there's less
going on around me, right?
So I want to be present withhim and in a good headspace.
So that's why I want to notlisten to podcasts.
When he's awake and with me andI'm supposed to be spending
(08:43):
time with him, right, and sothat is my why.
That's more than just I know.
It's good for me, right?
Do you know that you're a nicerperson when you're not watching
television?
Do you know that you get morethings that around your house
when you're not watchingtelevision?
So, like the deep, why, right?
Why do you want to start bakingsourdough bread?
(09:04):
Because you've read that it'sbetter for you and that it's a
cool new skill that you can,it's cheap and it takes time,
and so you will be workingthrough the process of what that
looks like, right?
So like it's healthier for youand it's a skill that you can
bring back and it's very frugal,right?
Because once you have asourdough starter, you don't
(09:29):
salt, so you should put salt inthere, but that's basically it
to make some artisan bread.
So there's just these thingsthat are underneath, why,
underneath your goals.
That is what we want to dofirst, right?
Dream wonder what those thingsare.
Look hard at yourself, figureout what is it underneath your
(09:50):
goals.
That is really important, right?
Do you want to go for a walkevery day with your spouse after
he gets home from work or afteryou know, you guys are done
with whatever it is that you do,like that's great, but it's not
because you want to go walking.
I mean, maybe it is, but it'sprobably because you want to
(10:11):
connect with them without thedistractions of electronics,
right, but maybe walking is notfor you guys right now.
All right, moving on, okay.
So that there's all thoseexamples, and so the second one
is evaluate and rework, right.
So we want to look at where weare, right.
You know what you can do, right.
(10:35):
You know what your life entails, you know what your kids need,
you know what your businessneeds, you know how much time or
you can figure out how muchtime you have available for new
things.
Because the thing is, you can'tjust keep adding stuff without
something either suffering orgetting ditched, like something
(10:56):
will fall through the cracks oryou will.
It'll just suffer over there,right?
I do believe that you canexpand your capacity as you move
forward, but it's not, itdoesn't just happen.
You have to work at that, right.
So what you need to be doing isevaluating the season of life
that you're in.
And this is not to make excuses, we're not making excuses.
(11:21):
It's looking at a realisticplace that you're in.
You want to be honest withyourself, stretch yourself,
because if the goal was easy toget to, you would have already
done it right.
So the goal that you've set isprobably not that easy.
We don't want to set it so farin a you know out of reach that
(11:43):
we can't get it.
That's super discouraging, butit does need to stretch you and
you need to be thinking aboutwhere you are, what you can
actually give to it.
And if that goal that you set,let's use the marathon example
as continue with that example,right.
So you want to run a marathon,and I say that probably once a
year, that I want to run amarathon.
(12:04):
I'm like I'm going to do it,let's do this thing.
So my husband we when I did itbefore, we didn't have kids, we
both worked full time, but thenafterward we didn't have a lot
going on.
We had like Bible study andchurch, but not a ton of else,
and so he would get on the bikeand I would run.
That's what we did, and we didit a lot, because running a
marathon takes a lot of time,but at this moment in my life
(12:28):
you can't run a marathon.
I mean, I guess I could if Ireally really really wanted to
give up some other stuff and doit.
But my underlying reason ofwanting to do it that we talked
about earlier in the dreamsection was because I wanted to
stay healthy.
I didn't want to lose myability to run, because I worked
hard on that and I startedrunning when I was like 15, 14.
(12:51):
I don't know, so that's overhalf of my life, I'm 34.
So it's been a bit, and so Idon't want to lose that ability.
And that's one of the bigreasons that I want to run a
marathon, why I keep saying Iwant to run a marathon.
Other than the cool factorright, you may not think it's
cool, I think it's cool, but inthat example, I don't want to
(13:12):
lose my ability to run.
I want to stay healthy, I wantto stay active and I want to be
able to just like play with myson, right, and so and I didn't
add this in there earlier, butthis is true I want my kids just
my son to see me being activeand healthy and want to emulate
(13:32):
those things.
Right, so that's important tome too, the legacy of being
active and healthy, and want toemulate those things right.
So that's important to me too,the legacy of being active and
being healthy.
I want him to have that as well.
Now as I dug into that, why inthe dream section and I move
into the evaluate section and Isay right now, in this season,
can I dedicate three days a weekto running regular, like runs,
(13:53):
dedicate three days a week torunning regular, like runs and
one day a week to doing longruns?
That will just continually getlonger until they are taking
several hours on a Saturday or aSunday.
Now, if I wanted to rework mylife, I could probably do it,
sure, but I would have to changea lot of stuff.
And I'm not willing and this iswhat you need to be looking at
(14:17):
whenever you're deciding if yourgoal is the one that you need
to keep, I'm not willing tochange around a bunch of stuff
in my life to reach this onegoal, and that's okay.
If you decide that you're notwilling to change a bunch of
other things like if your goalis really big like that, like
(14:37):
running a marathon, to be ableto accommodate that goal, then
you need to step back and say,okay, how can I reach the whys
that were underneath that goaland still achieve those whys
without doing that specificthing?
And so that is where we'reevaluating and reworking.
(14:59):
So in the marathon example,instead of running a marathon, I
could just make sure that I goto the gym or work out three
days a week and have one of thembe running at least one of them
be running because I don't wantto lose my ability to run,
right, so I know I can fit thatin.
(15:20):
I've been doing it for a while,so I know where it fits.
But maybe for you, right, youcan't get to the gym.
Maybe that's just not apossibility.
Where I live, my gym has achildcare and so I can take my
son with me, and so that's superconvenient for me, and so I
know I can make that happen.
It works in the season of lifethat I'm in.
(15:40):
But let's say you don't havethat and you don't have the
support and you don't have helpor whatever it is in your season
, right, what else could you do?
Maybe, if you're just trying tobe healthy and stay active and
leave that legacy for yourchildren to stay healthy and
active, why don't you justdecide to do two or three
(16:01):
workouts at home every week?
Maybe you do a Pilates wallchallenge those are all over the
internet, right?
Or whatever it looks like inthis season, and do not beat
yourself up because you couldn'thit that really big, lofty goal
.
Maybe you will one day, buttoday may not be that day.
When you have littles in yourlife, your life looks different.
(16:22):
You can't do everything thatyou used to do, and there'll be
a time where you can do morethan you can right now.
That's okay.
That's good, because you'reputting your emotional energy
and physical energy into thelittle people that God has
blessed you with.
That's what we want.
So, as you're evaluating andreworking your goals, being
(16:43):
realistic with yourself,stretching yourself, not making
excuses, you still want tochange those things because you
know the why.
Now, right, like the exampleearlier when you were talking
about going on a walk with yourhusband or your spouse every day
after he gets home from work.
Maybe that's not realistic.
Maybe every day is a lot foryou guys, because you have
(17:04):
things to do.
You got to cook dinner and feedthe cows I don't know if you
have cows, but you know,whatever it is that you do, got
homework and things going on andpiano lessons and the things
that happen whenever you havelittle people or you just know
people and you have a busy lifethings happen.
But what if you decide to do ittwice a week?
Does that still fulfill the why, which is connecting with your
(17:25):
spouse without the distractionsof electronics?
Sure does.
Maybe it's just sitting down atthe dinner table instead
because your why wasn'tnecessarily working out, your
why was connection?
Sure does.
Maybe it's just sitting down atthe dinner table instead
Because your why wasn'tnecessarily working out, your
why was connection.
So maybe you guys just eatdinner with no electronics, no
TV, no phones, no, nothing.
(17:45):
You can just rework your dream,your goal, into the season that
you are in, because, becauseyou know the underlying reason,
that underlying reason will helpyou so much.
Don't skip that first step,right?
Okay?
So now you have done thedreaming.
You set a goal, you reevaluated, you evaluated and reworked
(18:07):
your goal.
If you needed to right, we'restretching.
We're not making excuses, we'removing forward.
Now the next thing is to createa plan.
Now you need to make a planbecause the thing is, if you
just wish that it happens, it'svery unlikely that it's gonna
happen, because that's just nothow things happen.
We go into our habits thatwe've always been in, and
(18:29):
without intentionality, nothinggets done right.
So I want you to break thatdream down into steps.
Break it down and then put iton the calendar, or talk, not or
.
And talk to whoever it has todeal with it with, right?
So if we're talking about thatmarathon and you've decided,
okay, marathon's not for me, Ican't do this marathon, but I am
(18:52):
gonna go to the gym three daysa week right Now, look at your
calendar.
Where will that fit?
Can you do it in the evening?
Can you do it in the morning?
Like, pick some times, put themon your calendar, tell anybody
in your life that it affects.
Tell your spouse, tell a friendthat's going to keep you
accountable.
What are?
What can you do to make surethat that actually happens?
(19:16):
Because lots of goals get setand lots of goals get put in the
trash, can right?
So we don't want your goals andyour dreams to wind up on the
pile of other stuff that wedidn't do.
Right, I got a lot of pile.
I got a big old pile of thingsthat I didn't do.
It's because one I didn'tactually know why I was doing it
, or it wasn't really important,or I just didn't put any actual
(19:39):
effort and intentionality intoit, and we don't want that
because we already went throughall the reasons why we're doing
it.
We know we wanna do this, weknow it's good for us, we know
it's good for our family.
So we have to create that plan,break it down into steps, put
it on your calendar, put it tellyour friend, tell your spouse,
tell somebody who can hold youaccountable, tell the people
that it'll affect.
So if you're going to startgoing to the gym three days a
(20:00):
week, right?
So in my actual life this iswhat we do.
My husband and I meet at thegym on Tuesdays and Thursdays in
the evening and we work outtogether with a friend, and then
on Wednesdays I go during theday.
I go to a class during the day,and so I talk to my spouse
about the Tuesdays and Thursdaysthat we do, right?
(20:21):
So he knows I know we go to thegym on Tuesday night.
We go to the gym on Thursdaynight Like he doesn't come home,
he just meets us right there,and so that works out well for
us.
And so who do you have to talkto, to make sure that those
things can happen and, if theyaffect them to, to make sure
that those things can happen and, if they affect them, that they
(20:42):
can be on the same page as you.
Let's say, you want to bespending, you know, more time on
your business, right?
Because it, you know, becauseyou are building this thing and
the people that you're servingare important to you and you
know that God has called you toit, right?
And so you want to spend threeextra hours a month, not a month
a week on it, but you don'treally know where to fit it.
(21:02):
And then you and your spouse,you look at your schedule and
you decide, like, okay, onWednesday and Thursday night I'm
going to work for an hour and ahalf after the kids go to bed
and that will be the plan.
That's the plan.
You need a measurable part,like an actual like step that
you can say, yes, I am doing itor no, I'm not doing it, because
(21:24):
wishing does not get it there,my friend.
So create measurable steps, andthe measurable step might just
be put it on your calendar andfreaking, do it, my friend.
And telling somebody, havingsomeone to hold you accountable
is super, super, super helpful.
Now, those are the three steps,right?
So we're going to dream, we'regoing to decide what that thing
(21:46):
is.
We're going to set a goal,we're going to find out the real
reason we want to set that goal, that underlying reason, the
why, the driving factor.
We're going to evaluate andrework with the season that
we're in.
If we have to rework that goal,we're going to change it to
something else that is stillgets us to that why, that
(22:06):
driving factor, the reallyimportant part.
And then we are going to createa plan.
And with that driving factor inmind because you're not just
doing it because it's a goodidea, you're doing it because
you create you found the reasonwhy, the underlying thing that
is going to change your familyand change your life.
You've already found that.
So you know I can do this andthis is why I'm doing it,
(22:29):
because hard things.
Don't want to do hard thingsjust for fun, unless you want to
run a marathon, I guess.
But people like it, but they.
They do it because it's goodfor them and because they have a
good reason to do it.
So find your good reason, thatdriving force, make a plan, tell
a friend, tell the peoplearound you that it's going to
affect and break that dream intosteps.
(22:49):
Put it on your calendar, makeit happen.
Make it happen, right, so okay.
So I told you there is a lastthing to this.
There's a bonus, right?
Those are the three steps.
You can do it with those threesteps, but this is the one that
will make it, but that will help, let me tell you, it will just
help you.
I need you to switch yourmindset and let go of
(23:09):
perfectionism.
I read this book by John Acuff.
It is called Finish super goodand he talks about the enemy of
done is perfection.
Now we want to be movingtowards excellence, like we do
everything we do unto the Lordand we serve him well by cooking
meals and going on walks withour husbands and going to the
(23:32):
gym and working on ourbusinesses and changing diapers.
We serve the Lord as we dothose things, because we do them
with excellence and we do themwith, like a joyful heart, which
we try, right, I try, you try,we try and we lean on the Lord
to be able to do those thingswith a joyful heart.
But if you are always lookingfor perfection from yourself and
(23:56):
for others, you will neverfinish anything.
You just won't because you'llfeel like because we all fail,
right, we all miss a day at thegym or forget to feed our
sourdough starter and now it'sdead.
It's not that easy to kill it,but when you're first starting
it's a lot it could be, and soyou do that.
(24:17):
You miss a time.
You said you were going to workon your business because you
didn't want to right.
Sometimes we just have feelingswhere we don't want to do
things and I'm not saying to dothat.
But if you do do that, don'tlet go forever.
It's not dead forever.
Now you didn't do your one dayPilates challenge.
Now you can't do the other 29.
(24:40):
Like that's not the case, myfriend, you have to let go of
perfection.
It's not going to serve you,it's not going to help you
Strive for excellence and justlet perfection go.
And I know that's really easyto say.
It's hard mindset shift to make.
But I know you can do it andonce you do do it you will see
(25:05):
the freedom that comes from nothaving to be perfect all the
time.
It's okay if you're not perfect, because perfectionism it's not
even real.
Perfectionism it's not evenreal, it's just an idea that we
strive towards.
That just kills our goals,kills our plans, kills all of
(25:26):
our creativity and everythingthat we want to accomplish.
So, my friend, let go.
Let go of perfectionism.
All right, that is everything,okay.
I hope you had a great time.
I hope that you were able toglean stuff from this and that
you will set the best goals for2025, but only the right ones,
(25:47):
not all of them.
Don't be getting crazy.
Setting everything, okay.
Set a couple.
Set one if that's all you canhandle emotionally, physically,
just time-wise, at this moment,and move forward, because we're
always moving forward towardsexcellence, and that's just it.
That's it, okay.
My friends, I will talk to youlater.
Hey friends, goals, goals, goals.
Right, it's the new year.
That's all we're hearing.
That's what we're talking about.
We're excited about startingfresh, starting new and getting
things done.
I get it.
I love goal setting.
I love it.
I love dreaming and figuring,thinking of ways to improve
myself and things that I shouldget rid of, and just like what
(00:23):
new life could look like,different than what I currently
have.
Right, I love goal setting.
I really do.
But let me tell you, as someonewho has done it, trying to do
everything at one time willcrush you and, like I said, I've
done it and it will steal yourjoy.
(00:44):
It'll steal your peace.
It'll steal your peace.
It'll make you someone youdon't wanna be, because you're
trying to do all of these thingsand attain something that you
set up for yourself to be better, but now, all of a sudden, it's
worse, right.
So you can't do it all, myfriend.
You cannot do it all, and thatis what I wanna tell you.
(01:05):
As you're setting up new goals,as you're setting up new things
for this year, for 2025 orwhatever year you're watching
this in, you can't do everythingat the same time.
Now, I'm a firm believer that weshould not be focusing on just
on one area of our life andignoring all of the other ones.
Right, there are seven areas ofyour life that you should be
(01:28):
setting goals and I heard aboutthis first from Dave Ramsey, but
he didn't come up with that.
But if you focus too much onone of them, then basically it's
like a flat tire is the waythat they explained it.
So you're the wheel of life andthen each area is a spoke right
.
We're not going to get into allof the areas of life and then
each area is a spoke right.
We're not gonna get into all ofthe areas of life.
That's not what this is about.
(01:49):
But you do need to be workingon several or on different areas
of your life as you moveforward.
Right, you don't always want tobe just focusing on your
business, because if you do,then your family will suffer,
and we don't want that right.
And if you're always focusingon your family, then your family
will suffer, and we don't wantthat right.
And if you're always focusingon your family, then your
business will never get off theground and then your friendships
(02:09):
will suffer and maybe you'llnever read a book again and
you'll be burnt out by doingmore and more and more just for
your family, right?
So we want to make sure thatwe're balanced when we're making
goals, but I'm here to tell youthat you do not have to work on
them all at the same time.
Every goal that you have, myfriend, is not for right now,
(02:30):
and we're gonna take.
We're gonna walk through how toset up goals that you can
achieve right now.
We've got three steps to figureout if the goals that you're
setting at this moment areexactly what you need to be
doing right now and how toactually achieve them.
That is what this episode isabout.
(02:51):
It is about stopping settingall the goals.
You don't need to do all ofthem at the same time.
Plus, you don't have to juststart them in January.
Right, say, you set a goalright now and you achieve it.
Well, praise the Lord, good job, that's awesome, and it only
takes you till March to do it.
So what do you do after that?
(03:13):
You set new goals, my friend.
We never arrive.
We never arrive.
We're always getting better.
We're always learning andgrowing in the grace of God and
learning new things, buildingrelationships better, being
smarter by reading more books,learning new skills by watching
YouTube videos and trying it out.
(03:35):
There's all.
There is such an abundance inthis life.
We never arrive, and so you arealways moving forward, but you
can't do everything at the sametime.
So that is exactly what this isall about, right, and it's true
for everyone.
You can't really do everythingat the same time.
(03:56):
It's very hard, no matter whatseason of life you're in, but
especially for us.
We are moms with young kids,right?
Yeah, little people that aredepending on you.
Do not stress yourself out bydoing literally trying to
literally do everything.
It just won't work out.
So let's walk through thisthree-step process to be able to
(04:19):
set attainable goals for you inthis season of life, right?
And I have a little bonus atthe very end.
So stick around and don't leave, because this will help you
attain these goals, right?
So we wanna stretch ourselves100%, definitely want to stretch
, wanna be learning, but wedon't wanna break and we don't
wanna be overwhelmed to thepoint that you do nothing at all
(04:41):
.
So let's start.
Okay, the first step is todream.
This is my favorite part.
I love dreaming.
I like all the steps, actually,but maybe not the follow
through.
That's not my strongest suit,but I've put in things in place
to make sure I do do that Anywho.
So the dreaming part.
I love the dreaming part.
Like what life would look likeif I did X, y, z, right, like
(05:06):
it's probably very easy for youto come up with what you want to
do.
Like, what is that goal thatyou have, right?
Do you want to run a marathon?
Do you want to stop watching somuch television?
Are you trying to read one booka month?
Are you trying to I don't knowany of the things learn how to
bake sourdough or cookies, or,you know, grow a garden, or
(05:30):
those are all things that I do.
But your goals could be totallydifferent, right?
And so, whatever those are, nowI want you to think of these
goals Like what are they?
And I want you to think, like,very specifically about what you
want to do.
And after you have what youwant to do, I want you to dig
(05:50):
into that a little bit deeper.
Why do you want to do that?
Why do you want to run amarathon?
What would that make you feel?
How would that help you?
How would that help your family?
Like, what is it?
I ran a marathon once and I'veonly done it once and I keep
telling myself I'm gonna doanother one and I do wanna do
(06:12):
another one and I think I willat some point.
But what I really want in thispoint in my life and I keep
saying I want to run a marathonis I just wanna be healthy.
I wanna not lose that abilityto run that I worked so hard on.
I want to be healthy and strongand be able to run around with
(06:33):
my son without being tired,right?
That's the why of what I wannarun a marathon.
The other whys of why you wannarun a marathon is because it's
freaking cool, man, to say thatyou did it.
It's neat, I like it.
So I mean it doesn't have to beanything profound, but you do
want to know why you want to dothe things that you want to do.
Why is it that you want towatch less TV?
(06:55):
Because it's a good idea is notenough One.
It won't help you propelyourself forward, but it also.
We're also trying to dig intothe why, to see if what your
goal is in the next step was weevaluate it and rework it.
Because if you have the why,but the season of your life
(07:16):
right now is not conducive forthat particular goal, then maybe
not.
Maybe then you can take thatgoal, the reason why behind the
goal, and figure out how to dosomething different for that
goal.
I'm getting ahead of myself,okay?
So right now we're dreaming,we're thinking about things we
(07:39):
want to get done, things we wantto change in our life, things
we want to add, things we wantto take away, like whatever that
looks like, and we are diggingdeeper to figure out what the
driving force is.
Why do you want your kids tostop watching so much TV?
Or maybe yourself?
Maybe you want to stop watchingTV?
And because I know it's good,for me it's not enough.
Keep going.
(07:59):
Keep going, girl.
Like, is it because you knowyou're a nicer person when
you're not watching TV?
I know that if I have a podcaston or the television on or
something happening in thebackground and my son is there,
I get irritated because he'sdistracting me from this junk
that is not actually importantat that moment, right?
(08:21):
And so I want to not do thosethings when he's around, because
I know that I'm not.
I'm less, it's it's not.
It's harder for me to beoverwhelmed when there's less
going on around me, right?
So I want to be present withhim and in a good headspace.
So that's why I want to notlisten to podcasts.
When he's awake and with me andI'm supposed to be spending
(08:43):
time with him, right, and sothat is my why.
That's more than just I know.
It's good for me, right?
Do you know that you're a nicerperson when you're not watching
television?
Do you know that you get morethings that around your house
when you're not watchingtelevision?
So, like the deep, why, right?
Why do you want to start bakingsourdough bread?
(09:04):
Because you've read that it'sbetter for you and that it's a
cool new skill that you can,it's cheap and it takes time,
and so you will be workingthrough the process of what that
looks like, right?
So like it's healthier for youand it's a skill that you can
bring back and it's very frugal,right?
Because once you have asourdough starter, you don't
(09:29):
salt, so you should put salt inthere, but that's basically it
to make some artisan bread.
So there's just these thingsthat are underneath, why,
underneath your goals.
That is what we want to dofirst, right?
Dream wonder what those thingsare.
Look hard at yourself, figureout what is it underneath your
(09:50):
goals.
That is really important, right?
Do you want to go for a walkevery day with your spouse after
he gets home from work or afteryou know, you guys are done
with whatever it is that you do,like that's great, but it's not
because you want to go walking.
I mean, maybe it is, but it'sprobably because you want to
(10:11):
connect with them without thedistractions of electronics,
right, but maybe walking is notfor you guys right now.
All right, moving on, okay.
So that there's all thoseexamples, and so the second one
is evaluate and rework, right.
So we want to look at where weare, right.
You know what you can do, right.
(10:35):
You know what your life entails, you know what your kids need,
you know what your businessneeds, you know how much time or
you can figure out how muchtime you have available for new
things.
Because the thing is, you can'tjust keep adding stuff without
something either suffering orgetting ditched, like something
(10:56):
will fall through the cracks oryou will.
It'll just suffer over there,right?
I do believe that you canexpand your capacity as you move
forward, but it's not, itdoesn't just happen.
You have to work at that, right.
So what you need to be doing isevaluating the season of life
that you're in.
And this is not to make excuses, we're not making excuses.
(11:21):
It's looking at a realisticplace that you're in.
You want to be honest withyourself, stretch yourself,
because if the goal was easy toget to, you would have already
done it right.
So the goal that you've set isprobably not that easy.
We don't want to set it so farin a you know out of reach that
(11:43):
we can't get it.
That's super discouraging, butit does need to stretch you and
you need to be thinking aboutwhere you are, what you can
actually give to it.
And if that goal that you set,let's use the marathon example
as continue with that example,right.
So you want to run a marathon,and I say that probably once a
year, that I want to run amarathon.
(12:04):
I'm like I'm going to do it,let's do this thing.
So my husband we when I did itbefore, we didn't have kids, we
both worked full time, but thenafterward we didn't have a lot
going on.
We had like Bible study andchurch, but not a ton of else,
and so he would get on the bikeand I would run.
That's what we did, and we didit a lot, because running a
marathon takes a lot of time,but at this moment in my life
(12:28):
you can't run a marathon.
I mean, I guess I could if Ireally really really wanted to
give up some other stuff and doit.
But my underlying reason ofwanting to do it that we talked
about earlier in the dreamsection was because I wanted to
stay healthy.
I didn't want to lose myability to run, because I worked
hard on that and I startedrunning when I was like 15, 14.
(12:51):
I don't know, so that's overhalf of my life, I'm 34.
So it's been a bit, and so Idon't want to lose that ability.
And that's one of the bigreasons that I want to run a
marathon, why I keep saying Iwant to run a marathon.
Other than the cool factorright, you may not think it's
cool, I think it's cool, but inthat example, I don't want to
(13:12):
lose my ability to run.
I want to stay healthy, I wantto stay active and I want to be
able to just like play with myson, right, and so and I didn't
add this in there earlier, butthis is true I want my kids just
my son to see me being activeand healthy and want to emulate
(13:32):
those things.
Right, so that's important tome too, the legacy of being
active and healthy, and want toemulate those things right.
So that's important to me too,the legacy of being active and
being healthy.
I want him to have that as well.
Now as I dug into that, why inthe dream section and I move
into the evaluate section and Isay right now, in this season,
can I dedicate three days a weekto running regular, like runs,
(13:53):
dedicate three days a week torunning regular, like runs and
one day a week to doing longruns?
That will just continually getlonger until they are taking
several hours on a Saturday or aSunday.
Now, if I wanted to rework mylife, I could probably do it,
sure, but I would have to changea lot of stuff.
And I'm not willing and this iswhat you need to be looking at
(14:17):
whenever you're deciding if yourgoal is the one that you need
to keep, I'm not willing tochange around a bunch of stuff
in my life to reach this onegoal, and that's okay.
If you decide that you're notwilling to change a bunch of
other things like if your goalis really big like that, like
(14:37):
running a marathon, to be ableto accommodate that goal, then
you need to step back and say,okay, how can I reach the whys
that were underneath that goaland still achieve those whys
without doing that specificthing?
And so that is where we'reevaluating and reworking.
(14:59):
So in the marathon example,instead of running a marathon, I
could just make sure that I goto the gym or work out three
days a week and have one of thembe running at least one of them
be running because I don't wantto lose my ability to run,
right, so I know I can fit thatin.
(15:20):
I've been doing it for a while,so I know where it fits.
But maybe for you, right, youcan't get to the gym.
Maybe that's just not apossibility.
Where I live, my gym has achildcare and so I can take my
son with me, and so that's superconvenient for me, and so I
know I can make that happen.
It works in the season of lifethat I'm in.
(15:40):
But let's say you don't havethat and you don't have the
support and you don't have helpor whatever it is in your season
, right, what else could you do?
Maybe, if you're just trying tobe healthy and stay active and
leave that legacy for yourchildren to stay healthy and
active, why don't you justdecide to do two or three
(16:01):
workouts at home every week?
Maybe you do a Pilates wallchallenge those are all over the
internet, right?
Or whatever it looks like inthis season, and do not beat
yourself up because you couldn'thit that really big, lofty goal
.
Maybe you will one day, buttoday may not be that day.
When you have littles in yourlife, your life looks different.
(16:22):
You can't do everything thatyou used to do, and there'll be
a time where you can do morethan you can right now.
That's okay.
That's good, because you'reputting your emotional energy
and physical energy into thelittle people that God has
blessed you with.
That's what we want.
So, as you're evaluating andreworking your goals, being
(16:43):
realistic with yourself,stretching yourself, not making
excuses, you still want tochange those things because you
know the why.
Now, right, like the exampleearlier when you were talking
about going on a walk with yourhusband or your spouse every day
after he gets home from work.
Maybe that's not realistic.
Maybe every day is a lot foryou guys, because you have
(17:04):
things to do.
You got to cook dinner and feedthe cows I don't know if you
have cows, but you know,whatever it is that you do, got
homework and things going on andpiano lessons and the things
that happen whenever you havelittle people or you just know
people and you have a busy lifethings happen.
But what if you decide to do ittwice a week?
Does that still fulfill the why, which is connecting with your
(17:25):
spouse without the distractionsof electronics?
Sure does.
Maybe it's just sitting down atthe dinner table instead
because your why wasn'tnecessarily working out, your
why was connection?
Sure does.
Maybe it's just sitting down atthe dinner table instead
Because your why wasn'tnecessarily working out, your
why was connection.
So maybe you guys just eatdinner with no electronics, no
TV, no phones, no, nothing.
(17:45):
You can just rework your dream,your goal, into the season that
you are in, because, becauseyou know the underlying reason,
that underlying reason will helpyou so much.
Don't skip that first step,right?
Okay?
So now you have done thedreaming.
You set a goal, you reevaluated, you evaluated and reworked
(18:07):
your goal.
If you needed to right, we'restretching.
We're not making excuses, we'removing forward.
Now the next thing is to createa plan.
Now you need to make a planbecause the thing is, if you
just wish that it happens, it'svery unlikely that it's gonna
happen, because that's just nothow things happen.
We go into our habits thatwe've always been in, and
(18:29):
without intentionality, nothinggets done right.
So I want you to break thatdream down into steps.
Break it down and then put iton the calendar, or talk, not or
.
And talk to whoever it has todeal with it with, right?
So if we're talking about thatmarathon and you've decided,
okay, marathon's not for me, Ican't do this marathon, but I am
(18:52):
gonna go to the gym three daysa week right Now, look at your
calendar.
Where will that fit?
Can you do it in the evening?
Can you do it in the morning?
Like, pick some times, put themon your calendar, tell anybody
in your life that it affects.
Tell your spouse, tell a friendthat's going to keep you
accountable.
What are?
What can you do to make surethat that actually happens?
(19:16):
Because lots of goals get setand lots of goals get put in the
trash, can right?
So we don't want your goals andyour dreams to wind up on the
pile of other stuff that wedidn't do.
Right, I got a lot of pile.
I got a big old pile of thingsthat I didn't do.
It's because one I didn'tactually know why I was doing it
, or it wasn't really important,or I just didn't put any actual
(19:39):
effort and intentionality intoit, and we don't want that
because we already went throughall the reasons why we're doing
it.
We know we wanna do this, weknow it's good for us, we know
it's good for our family.
So we have to create that plan,break it down into steps, put
it on your calendar, put it tellyour friend, tell your spouse,
tell somebody who can hold youaccountable, tell the people
that it'll affect.
So if you're going to startgoing to the gym three days a
(20:00):
week, right?
So in my actual life this iswhat we do.
My husband and I meet at thegym on Tuesdays and Thursdays in
the evening and we work outtogether with a friend, and then
on Wednesdays I go during theday.
I go to a class during the day,and so I talk to my spouse
about the Tuesdays and Thursdaysthat we do, right?
(20:21):
So he knows I know we go to thegym on Tuesday night.
We go to the gym on Thursdaynight Like he doesn't come home,
he just meets us right there,and so that works out well for
us.
And so who do you have to talkto, to make sure that those
things can happen and, if theyaffect them to, to make sure
that those things can happen and, if they affect them, that they
(20:42):
can be on the same page as you.
Let's say, you want to bespending, you know, more time on
your business, right?
Because it, you know, becauseyou are building this thing and
the people that you're servingare important to you and you
know that God has called you toit, right?
And so you want to spend threeextra hours a month, not a month
a week on it, but you don'treally know where to fit it.
(21:02):
And then you and your spouse,you look at your schedule and
you decide, like, okay, onWednesday and Thursday night I'm
going to work for an hour and ahalf after the kids go to bed
and that will be the plan.
That's the plan.
You need a measurable part,like an actual like step that
you can say, yes, I am doing itor no, I'm not doing it, because
(21:24):
wishing does not get it there,my friend.
So create measurable steps, andthe measurable step might just
be put it on your calendar andfreaking, do it, my friend.
And telling somebody, havingsomeone to hold you accountable
is super, super, super helpful.
Now, those are the three steps,right?
So we're going to dream, we'regoing to decide what that thing
(21:46):
is.
We're going to set a goal,we're going to find out the real
reason we want to set that goal, that underlying reason, the
why, the driving factor.
We're going to evaluate andrework with the season that
we're in.
If we have to rework that goal,we're going to change it to
something else that is stillgets us to that why, that
(22:06):
driving factor, the reallyimportant part.
And then we are going to createa plan.
And with that driving factor inmind because you're not just
doing it because it's a goodidea, you're doing it because
you create you found the reasonwhy, the underlying thing that
is going to change your familyand change your life.
You've already found that.
So you know I can do this andthis is why I'm doing it,
(22:29):
because hard things.
Don't want to do hard thingsjust for fun, unless you want to
run a marathon, I guess.
But people like it, but they.
They do it because it's goodfor them and because they have a
good reason to do it.
So find your good reason, thatdriving force, make a plan, tell
a friend, tell the peoplearound you that it's going to
affect and break that dream intosteps.
(22:49):
Put it on your calendar, makeit happen.
Make it happen, right, so okay.
So I told you there is a lastthing to this.
There's a bonus, right?
Those are the three steps.
You can do it with those threesteps, but this is the one that
will make it, but that will help, let me tell you, it will just
help you.
I need you to switch yourmindset and let go of
(23:09):
perfectionism.
I read this book by John Acuff.
It is called Finish super goodand he talks about the enemy of
done is perfection.
Now we want to be movingtowards excellence, like we do
everything we do unto the Lordand we serve him well by cooking
meals and going on walks withour husbands and going to the
(23:32):
gym and working on ourbusinesses and changing diapers.
We serve the Lord as we dothose things, because we do them
with excellence and we do themwith, like a joyful heart, which
we try, right, I try, you try,we try and we lean on the Lord
to be able to do those thingswith a joyful heart.
But if you are always lookingfor perfection from yourself and
(23:56):
for others, you will neverfinish anything.
You just won't because you'llfeel like because we all fail,
right, we all miss a day at thegym or forget to feed our
sourdough starter and now it'sdead.
It's not that easy to kill it,but when you're first starting
it's a lot it could be, and soyou do that.
(24:17):
You miss a time.
You said you were going to workon your business because you
didn't want to right.
Sometimes we just have feelingswhere we don't want to do
things and I'm not saying to dothat.
But if you do do that, don'tlet go forever.
It's not dead forever.
Now you didn't do your one dayPilates challenge.
Now you can't do the other 29.
(24:40):
Like that's not the case, myfriend, you have to let go of
perfection.
It's not going to serve you,it's not going to help you
Strive for excellence and justlet perfection go.
And I know that's really easyto say.
It's hard mindset shift to make.
But I know you can do it andonce you do do it you will see
(25:05):
the freedom that comes from nothaving to be perfect all the
time.
It's okay if you're not perfect, because perfectionism it's not
even real.
Perfectionism it's not evenreal, it's just an idea that we
strive towards.
That just kills our goals,kills our plans, kills all of
(25:26):
our creativity and everythingthat we want to accomplish.
So, my friend, let go.
Let go of perfectionism.
All right, that is everything,okay.
I hope you had a great time.
I hope that you were able toglean stuff from this and that
you will set the best goals for2025, but only the right ones,
(25:47):
not all of them.
Don't be getting crazy.
Setting everything, okay.
Set a couple.
Set one if that's all you canhandle emotionally, physically,
just time-wise, at this moment,and move forward, because we're
always moving forward towardsexcellence, and that's just it.
That's it, okay.
My friends, I will talk to youlater.
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