16: I Can't Date Me For You

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It just feels right. Also rim job, why do I feel like
it's like close to like a hand job but like aggressive?
I don't know, it just seems. Do you not know what a rim job
is? Oh, rim shot, that's what it
was. OK, Maybe that's why I feel like
it's nasty because it's so closeto rim job.
That's not rib shop. Yeah, that's what I've been
thinking. OK, wait, what is a RIM job?
You. Talking a butt hole your tongue

(00:23):
punched in a fart box? OK, we're going to have a great
time doing this. We are going to have so much
fun. Hi, everybody.

(00:55):
Welcome back. Yo-yo yo.
It was either that or yippee Kaye motherfuckers.
Wow, that was how you're going to greet them?
Yeah. Wow, I like that.
You know, spice it up, change itup.
Never let them know what's goingto happen.
You know, it'd be fun is if we just like looked at famous like

(01:16):
greetings through different movies and just picked a random
one. OK, Not different languages.
You didn't specify, you know, like, I don't even remember what
that movie is. It was like, good morning,
Vietnam. Oh, yeah, I know.
You guys all know what that movie is.
OK, Please don't come at me. No, I can see it.

(01:37):
I just can't think of the name of it.
All the guys know what that movie is.
Gavin could tell us. Yeah, literally all the guys
know what that movie is. Yeah, OK.
I feel like I can hear the hate in all of them screaming at us
already yelling. Oh my gosh, you guys OK, It has

(01:59):
been a it has been a wild week. So it's literally good morning,
Vietnam. Oh, that's the name of the
fucking hell. Shut up, everybody.
I don't want to hear it. Neither does Samara.
Fuck off, all of you, that is. That couldn't have worked out
better. I know you're welcome.

(02:20):
I hope you're laughing really hard right now.
Anyway, back to you. What were you saying anyway?
So, yeah, there was. You guys all know Piper turned
21 last week when the episode aired.
Well, we had her birthday, went out for a really nice dinner.
So good. Yeah, it was really good.
It was just me, Samara and my girls.

(02:42):
And Piper's boyfriend and I havenever cut pizza with scissors
before. Yeah, it was so cool.
This place is like, it's this authentic Italian restaurant.
Very, very small, first come, first serve.
They don't take reservations. We sat at the chef's table so we
could see them prepping all the food.
You know, real quick. Well, the entire time we were

(03:03):
sitting there, I kept looking atthat table and thinking, God
damn it, this table had to have been so expensive.
Yeah, because even a small one. Oh my God.
The table was essentially a massive butcher block.
Yeah, you know that. Yeah.
So much money. It is beautiful.

(03:25):
God, I want one. But the food was phenomenal.
The people were great. There's a man there who, I don't
know if he's the owner or if he works there.
God, he's so beautiful. Did you notice that he had a
little bit of an accent? I did.
That's why I'm like, wait, is hethe owner 'cause when he was
explaining food to us finally and I was like, oh God, hello.

(03:48):
I'm like, OK, Sir? Yeah.
I was pointing him out to Samara.
I was like, he was here last time when we came and ate, and
it's like he doesn't really smile.
I don't think he likes me 'causehe never makes, like, eye
contact with me like he does initially.
Then that's it. But then when I walked in that
night, 'cause I had to go in ahead of everybody because I
don't take reservations and we had a bigger party, so I had to
go in early to get us on the wait list.

(04:11):
And he saw me walk in and I saw him see me and look me up and
down and smile and then go out what he was doing.
And I was like, don't fucking tease me.
Fucking tell me that I. Know it's like what do you tease
me, but then the rest of the night I was like he had look at
me. Well, that's not true.
There was a couple other times that I I swear to God, like I

(04:31):
was told to wear this anytime I'm like looking around.
I swear I would just happen to be glancing around the
restaurant not even looking for him, just looking around at
people because that's what I do.And almost every time I would
look and see him and make eye contact, I'm like, Oh my God,
this is. Yeah, there was a time that he
was standing behind us, but morebehind you, and he walked around

(04:55):
to go make an order or something.
And I was like, oh, he's he's right there.
And you're like, and you startedjust following him with your
eyes. So that's hard.
He's just so he's like, just like this tall dark haired man,
like, you know, like nice build,nice medium build.

(05:16):
You could tell he probably worksout.
Yeah. And he had like, you know,
facial hair, but like, clean andhe's got longer hairs.
His hair is like in like a smallman bun, but it's like shaved
around the side. So I was like, fucking Christ.
Very clean, very clean, very sexy.
Just fuck me. Oh, I love when men have

(05:37):
different, like, bracelets or rings that they wear.
Yeah, his jewelry choice was very nice.
It just that fat ring he was wearing.
I was like, does everyone look at that?
Everything about him was just sofucking sexy.
God. And the, the one cook that was
in front of us, she was, she waslistening to us.
And there were a few times whereI caught her trying to not

(05:59):
laugh. Yeah, not laugh or not smile and
just see a little uptick of her,the side of her mouth.
I'm like, you can laugh. We're funny.
I know. I we say some pretty wild shit
over here, right. I know.
Well, I told, did you hear me say that to her when we were
leaving? I was like, yeah.
I didn't hear what she said, though.
She was like, no, you guys, you guys were so great.

(06:20):
You guys were so great. I was sitting there next to
Sydney and we were both looking at that bowl of the like
Crostini's. Oh yeah.
And we were both like, man, I want one of those.
They look so good. You guys do love bread.
We do, yeah. And she, I was like, I just want
to steal one. And she, she looked at me and

(06:41):
she's like, well, if you do, youhave to split it with me.
And I was like, got it. And then the drink that I had
had one of those thick toothpicks for, for the
garnishes, and I used that. And one had fallen out of the
bowl. And there were a couple of times
where I took the toothpick and Iwas trying to get it when no one
was looking. And I think she, she saw me like

(07:02):
pulling my hand back or something, but didn't quite see
what I was doing. And I was just trying to like
play it off a little bit. But Long story short, I got it
and Sydney and I split it and itwas, it was worth it.
I missed that somehow. Well, the whole point was that
nobody saw it. That's really funny.
Well, good job you guys did get that, Christina.

(07:22):
I had no idea. Oh, it was so good.
So anyways, so yes, so we had that dinner, then we did like a
small little photo shoot in the parking lot afterwards, which
was entertaining. Yes, it was.
Might post a couple of those pictures.
My first boyfriend is so sweet. Yeah, holding all of her stuff

(07:43):
while she's just taking pictures.
It was very fun. And so we did that.
And then Friday we had the stillwoozy concert at Cuthbert
Amphitheatre, which was really fun.
The only thing is, is that show started at 4:30 and I think we
all thought that it would be over by, you know, 8:00.

(08:05):
Yeah, the the two main bands didn't even come on until 8:30.
It is, yeah. It was.
Yeah, 3 1/2 hours of openers, dude, and they're not even good
openers in my opinion. But it's not my type of music
though either. It was all like acid jazz, and I
only know that because that's what they said, Like acid jazz

(08:27):
and then like some. Weird, I know what jazz is not
acid. Weird.
Just like the vibes were so fucking mellow that I was like
put you to sleep literally there.
Like if you looked around the amphitheater, there were
literally people just sleeping again, just like waiting for
Goth Girl and Still Woozy to come on.
And at least when Goth Girl cameon, they were a lot more upbeat.

(08:48):
That was pretty fun and Still Woozy was interesting.
None of it is really my type of music, but it was cool.
It was a good vibe. And Piper had a really good time
and she had a bunch of friends there, so that was fun.
And then we didn't get out of there until like 11:30.
And then they Saturday we all went out to the bars to

(09:10):
celebrate Piper being 21 and being out in the bars for the
first time, which was really fun.
Samara wasn't going to go, but Idid.
But she did. Because that was the thing.
When we were at Still Woozy, we were leaving and one of the
security guards stopped us and was like, hey, did you guys have
a good time? We're like, yeah, hey, would you
like to go to a concert at, you know, McDonald Theatre tomorrow
for free? And we're like, yeah, sure.

(09:30):
We didn't even know who the fuckit was.
And, and he was like, well, it'sZiggy Albert's.
And we're like, oh, cool. He was like, well, here's three
tickets. And we were like, yeah, sweet.
That's awesome. Well, yesterday was like fucking
busy day yesterday for me. I was so exhausted.
I was like, I don't even know ifI'm going to go to this concert.
I don't know, maybe I can convince Piper to not even go
out to the bars and just stay home and cuddle on the couch and

(09:53):
watch movies or something. That was not what she wanted to
do. And I was like, actually, I want
to go to this concert because I was like, I looked up Ziggy
Albert's. I wanted to, you know, listen to
their music. And I was like, OK, I kind of
like, you know, it's like folky,you know, they're from
Australia. It was very good.
It was, it was actually, I really like their music.
And Piper decided she didn't want to go.
And so I'd asked you like, do I have two tickets?

(10:15):
Do you and Gavin want to go? And you were like, yeah, no,
that's cool. But I wait, I, I was going to do
this instead of go out to the bars with Piper.
And I'm like, yeah, well, she's not coming to this so.
Because when you messaged me, I was like, Oh my God, we just ate
dinner. I was like, fuck, I forgot we
were going to do stuff for Piper's birthday today.

(10:36):
Like I sat there holding my phone, staring at it and just be
like. Dude same I did not want to go,
it was intense. I really had to talk myself into
it, like all I wanted to do was just stay at home on my couch
with my boyfriend and not do a damn thing.

(10:58):
But you did. You came out with it, which I'm
so happy about. I had fun.
I heard the sadness in my voice and I was like, she just told me
how she wants me to go do stuff with her.
Fine, I'll do it because I love her.
Yay and. I did.
And then with going out to the bars for Piper's birthday, I

(11:20):
wasn't going to go. And then I was like but.
We're in the car for me to take you home and you're like,
actually I'm kind of thinking that maybe I do want to go out.
And I was like, fuck yes. Yeah, I'm like, it's not every
day that your eldest niece is 21and is going out to the bars.
I'm like, I can do it for one night.
I got two years until Sydney wants to do something and that's

(11:44):
if she ever even starts to like alcohol, which I don't see that
happening. So I'm like, well, I got tick
this box, got two years to see what happened.
So, but it was fun. We got you dressed and ready in
record time, made it out there. We'd sing happy birthday to
Piper. She had decorated her cake.
Well her and I decorated her cake and right now told her to

(12:06):
cake so she got this strawberry red velvet cake.
Which I want some of that. There's plenty in the fridge.
Fuck yeah, She got this strawberry red velvet cake from
this local patisserie and they make the best fucking sweets
ever. It's quite unhealthy.
So good. She wanted it to be decorated
with real flowers all over it, you know, and her and her step

(12:28):
sister did like a really, reallygood job at that.
It was beautiful and she had allthese really pretty like multi
colored metallic WAVY long candles kind of and not even
just sticking straight up, but like.
All out of the. Side a little bit out of the
side, weird angles and you know,it was just very pretty and she
had one at the top of the cake to say witches don't age.
And so where we got it from they're like, we don't write on
cake. So I was like, cool, whatever.

(12:50):
I can do this. I have the tools to do this.
I used to decorate Cates all thetime.
I'm good, whatever. Yeah you should get back into
picking cuz your shit is beautiful.
Thank you, I appreciate it. Maybe I will someday.
I'd appreciate it more if you'd make me a cake and decorate it.
But yeah, it did. It did kind of spark a little
bit of that love in me again when I was doing that for her.

(13:10):
So it was fun to, you know, write that.
And then I'd painted each of theletters gold.
Oh, you painted it. Mm.
Hmm. Yeah, so that was Yeah, that was
like a white decorating frosting.
So it was a little bit firmer. And then I have edible gold
paint. And so I painted each of those
letters gold, which was very fucking meticulous.
Let me just say it took me like an hour.

(13:32):
I. Think Oh my God.
Yeah, it was. It was a lot, but it wound up
looking so fucking beautiful. We'll, we'll post a picture of
it on the Instagram. Yeah, we have.
To it is a very, very nice. Looking very pretty.
I can't wait to eat some of it later.
Yes, so we had sing her happy birthday.
She did a terrible job blowing out her candles and we were

(13:52):
like, come on, dude, we need to hurry up and go out to the
fucking bar because by that timeit was 11:00.
We're like, let's fucking go. And I think it was closer to
like 11:30. No, everybody's like, come on.
We got to go when it was 11 because me and you got back here
at 10:30 and it was close to it was, I think it was 11/30 by the
time everybody finally fucking left.
By the time we go to your house,you change, we get to the bars,

(14:13):
it's going to be midnight. So I remember Nani holding him
for a phone being like it's. Well, though too, yeah.
Anyway, so that was, that was fun.
We went out to the bars with Piper.
She is a absolutely beautiful social butterfly.
I love it so much. So fucking friendly.
She really is. She was so sweet, striking up
conversations with all these just random people.
She didn't give a fuck what you looked like, how old you were if

(14:36):
you were in a group of people that hadn't it.
She didn't. I was like, Oh my God.
And so many people were like, your daughter is so nice.
She's so sweet. Look at her.
I was like, I know. I'm so fucking proud right now.
Like I am like in a major mom moment.
Yeah, I saw it in your eyes. Yeah, she was just like, so
nice. Like there are these two like,
well, one of them I know was 38.The other one was 44.

(14:56):
These two grown men that were standing next to us, pretty good
looking dudes. And she just leans over, we're
waiting at the bar for a drink and she leans over, taps her
shoulder and just starts a conversation with these two
grown men. And they look over at this
fucking white girl. Tiny white girl.
Tiny white girl. She's just, I was like striking
up a conversation with them, like, oh, it's my birthday, how

(15:17):
old are you guys? Blah, blah, blah.
Basically like kind of insulted them, but he's like, oh, yeah,
you know, you guys are kind of old.
That's like my mom's age. And then they're like, ow, we
get to go out once a week calling us old.
And she's like, no, no, no, she goes, this is my mom.
And like, they make both look atme and they're like, wait,

(15:38):
you're her mom? And I was like, yeah, they're
like, how old are you? I'm 44.
They're like, oh, OK, so we're basically the same age.
I was like, how old are you? Like 38?
I'm like, no, we're not basically the same age.
You're six years younger than me.
I feel like, you know, 4 within four years, you can say you're
about the same age, but whateverit was just not.
Even in the same. Decade bracket, right?
Yeah. So like, whatever, but it was

(15:59):
just funny and you know, she raninto a couple more people who
also had birthdays and she just was such a beautiful little
social butterfly. We like went to three different
bars and she was just having such a great time and it was
just so awesome to just see her that way.
Yeah. I've never been able to see her
in an element like that before. Like, not like a bar, but just
around so many people. Yeah.

(16:20):
And how she actually went with everybody.
And. Yes.
And it was just fucking beautiful.
I loved it so much. Oh, God, I had so much fun.
It was. Yeah.
I had a really great time. Yeah, my, I'm wearing a knee
brace today because my, the kneethat I had surgery on likes to
act up. And after all of that, woke up

(16:41):
this morning and it feels like shit.
I mean granted we stood for like2 hours at the concert at
McDonald Theatre on concrete, which was not.
Great. Barely moving.
Yeah. Yeah, No, my body's not used to
doing that anymore from now thatI don't work in kitchens.
And at least when you're in working in kitchens, you're
moving around, you're walking, and that's still tough.

(17:02):
But yeah, today my knee, man. No, yeah, it sucks.
Does not feel good. It's been popping really hard,
like to the point where Gavins looked at me a couple times,
like, is it good? Are you good?
Like, I don't know, I felt that.I like, I felt my knee move when
it popped. That's.
Brutal. So you know, old lady vibes over

(17:24):
here. I know, and you're 30.
Three. I know that's.
Easy. Well, Piper says she didn't want
to go to that first or to the concert because she wanted to
come, like, stay. Home and do a take a nap.
Yeah, I was like a old lady. She is.
She is my niece. And because I felt that in my
soul. Like Oh my gosh my 21 year old
daughter wants to stay home, take a nap before she goes out

(17:46):
to the bar. My 33 year old sisters is like I
don't think I can handle going out and standing and all this
and now she's in a fucking knee brace and broken.
You know, at least it's the kneethat had surgery done on it, so
at least make sense. Yeah, if I didn't and it hurt
like that, like, OK, OK, Grandma, sit down.
We'll get you a wheelchair next time.

(18:09):
Yes. So it was a it was a really,
really good time. We we had so much fun and it was
fun being out with her friends and saw a few of my friends and
yeah, it was just, it was a goodtime.
It was pretty neat. Yeah.
Had something else over those week that was really fucking
cool that I am so excited to tell you about.
And I don't even know if you're going to get why I'm so excited.
But was this what you wanted to tell me yesterday?

(18:30):
Yesterday. And you're like, no, I want to
tell you on the podcast. Yes, OK, laying on me.
OK, So it would have been Friday.
Yeah, I think it was Friday. God is like a blur.
Since Piper turned 21, I feel like the days have just been
blurring together. So much to do.
So fucking much. Anyway, so Friday I'm looking

(18:51):
through all my notifications on my phone and I get a bunch of
different friend requests and DMrequests and stuff like that on
Instagram and Reddit and Facebook and stuff.
And a lot of it's either just from like my Reddit and people
filtering through to my other social medias or from the
podcast and people filtering into my social medias.
So I always like look through those.

(19:12):
And my Facebook I keep private. So, you know, only people I know
get to see that. I don't let everybody see that.
And where is like my Instagram'sjust public, it's whatever.
But so I'm looking through and I'm looking at my Facebook
requests and I'm like, OK, I have like 4 new ones.
I deny like three of them. Like I don't know who these

(19:32):
people are. And, and I don't just go off a
name like I'll look to see, do we have mutual friends look at
their pictures, like try to see like do I actually know these
people? Right.
And one of them was this, this guy, I'm just going to call him
Jo, which were his initials. We'll call him Joe.
Joe. Yeah.
And I'm like, OK, I'm like, I don't recognize that name.

(19:55):
I look at the pictures and I'm kind of, they don't have like a
ton of pictures, but they have afew of them.
So I'm scrolling through, looking at these pictures and
I'm like, what the fuck? I was like, hold up.
I was like that smile. I recognize that smile, bro.
That looks like a guy I went to high school with.
And so I scroll back up because I had seen that it said we had a
mutual friend. And so I look at the mutual

(20:16):
friend. I don't, I don't know who the
mutual friend. Is so don't you love when that
happens? I'm like.
Wait, we're friends. Who are you?
I. Don't remember you.
I'm sorry. Yeah.
But but me and the mutual friendhad a mutual friend and they
were from my Old Town where I went to high school, my old
small town, OK, the chances of that are slim.

(20:37):
Like this was a rinky dink town.OK.
So that I'm like mutual friends with this, OK.
Slowly putting the pieces. Together.
Together. So I go back and look at this
dude's picture and I'm looking at it closer, you know, and I'm
like, OK, these guys, like a lotof the people from high school
haven't seen since high school. So I remember them as, you know,
16 and 17 year olds. Yeah, not grown men and women.

(20:59):
And I go back and I'm looking athis picture and I'm like, fuck,
do that smile. I'm telling you, I know that
fucking smile. I was like, this has got to be
him. I was like, but the last name is
different. Like that doesn't make sense.
OK, whatever. I'm just going to it's got to be
him. I'm just going to accept his
friend request. As soon as I accept his friend
request, I get a messenger notice saying that I have a
message from him. So I open up my messenger and he

(21:21):
was like, hey, Nikki, I've been looking for you.
This is, you know, this is so and so I changed my last name.
How the fuck are you? And I was like whole holy
fucking shit. OK, this was my best friend in
high school. What?
Yes. And so I absolutely love him to
death. I have been trying to find him

(21:42):
and track him down for like 20 years.
Oh, I wonder, did he tell you how long ago he changed his last
name? Because maybe that's part of why
you couldn't find. Him.
No, no, no. So what?
It was so we we had reconnected briefly.
I had called, I had gotten his number from his sister and I was
talking to him. I think we got to talk for like

(22:03):
3 or 4 minutes real brief. He seemed kind of short, like he
didn't really want to talk to meand I was like, OK, what sucks?
Ow we were best fucking friends.But he like got off the phone
kind of quickly with me and I just kind of dropped it and was
like, OK, well whatever. He was married and so I was like
well probably his wife was just not fan of him talking to some
random woman. Yeah, that's but not uncommon

(22:25):
common. Yeah, it was like, also like
really jealous. Much insecurities.
Yeah. And so.
So we're talking and I'm like, OK, so yeah, we had that.
And then I don't hear from him again.
I'm like, dude, I really need tofind him.
Like I, I, I miss this motherfucker.
Like I, we made so many memories.
We take it that was like years ago.

(22:46):
That was years ago. And that was, that was when I
was still married to the girls. Dad.
Oh, wow. So yeah, quite a while, yeah.
And so I try to find him. I hit up his sister like a few
years ago and I was like, dude, where is he?
She's like, I have no idea. We haven't, we haven't heard
from him in like 10 years. And I.
Was like hell. What?

(23:06):
But he's also, I feel like the personality, at least when I
knew him in high school, I was like, I could totally see him
like going completely off grid mountain man, like living off
the land, right. So I was like.
OK, well, kind of a lone wolf. Kind of, yeah.
So I'm like, OK, maybe that's what he did, you know, like,
maybe someday if he decides to get on social media, he'll find
me, you know, like, OK, you know, if he ever talks to his

(23:27):
sister again or something, she'll tell him.
And so he kind of just let it goafter I'd asked her just a
couple years ago and she said that they weren't talking, like
she hadn't heard from him. And I was like, OK, well, I have
no other leads. Like, that was it?
That was it. So I'm like, OK, whatever, That
sucks, you know? And so then when I see this
message and I realized that it'shim, I will, I was so fucking

(23:51):
excited. I was like, holy fucking shit,
are you? Oh, I spammed him dressing like
message after message after message after message.
I was just like, it was the sameday that he had requested me.
And so I'm just like blowing himup and I'm like, holy fucking
shit. Are you kidding me?
Where the fuck have you been? Oh my God, I love you so much.

(24:11):
I miss you so much. Call me.
Here's my number. Like every day I'm like, come
on. And just so excited and he winds
up messaging me back. He was like, holy shit, Oh my
God, none of that, you know. And he's like, I got your
number. He's like, here's my, I'll call
you as soon as I can. And I'm like OK, we'll fucking
make it snappy dude cuz I'm like.

(24:31):
I'm freaking out over here. Exactly.
Exactly. And I'm like, I can't text right
now. I am way too excited.
I have way too much shit to say,way too many questions to ask.
Like come on, let's fucking go. And he text me back and he's
like, I am literally driving like a fucking animal trying to
get back into decent cell range so that I can call you.

(24:54):
That's a great response. Driving like an animal.
I was like OK but also be safe. Yeah, get off your phone.
But yeah, so that was amazing. So he calls me not when he's in
decent cell phone range because like the first like 30 seconds
I'm like, are you there? Can can you hear me?
Hello. It's like cutting in and out
really bad. But we talked for two hours.

(25:15):
Oh, that's awesome. Yeah.
It was so fucking good just to like catch up and, and just, Oh
my God, dude, I'm, I'm so fucking ecstatic.
Like, I love this dude so much. We had this pact when we were in
high school. We're like, OK, we'll look for
30 and we're not married or whatever.
Like we'll marry each other. But he's also just always loved
me like on a little bit higher level, which he was telling me

(25:39):
again when we when we reconnected, he was like, you
probably never even knew this. I was like, no, I, I knew I'm.
I'm not, as women aren't typically as oblivious to men.
Yeah, having those feelings has reverse.
Yeah, exactly, Exactly. I was like, no, I was aware.
But any event, yeah. So anyways, so that was really
fucking amazing. So we've just been keeping in

(26:00):
touch, you know, since then. And I'm very excited.
And I was like, where are you? He's over in fucking Tennessee,
huh? Yeah.
So not over here. I'm sad.
He actually moved over there like 4 years ago.
So he was very close to me ish, because it was kind of Spokane
area for a long time. Oh yeah.
And so he moved over there, but he's like newly divorced and all

(26:20):
that. And which is funny how men come
back into my life after they've been divorced.
I'm like their women don't want them talking to me for some
reason like. Yeah, that that tracks.
And it's like the why is it you obviously don't trust the men
because I'm not out here trying to steal anybody's man.
Like please, whatever. Anyways, so I was like, I need

(26:41):
to see you. I need to be able to give you a
big ass fucking hug and like we just need to hang out.
Like I, I bro, it has been years.
Like I miss the fuck out of you.I have looked for you for so
long. Like I cannot.
I just, like, even now, I'm still just fucking like, buzzed.
And I can see that I'm just so fucking excited because of all

(27:03):
the people from from that time in my life, I was able to find
everyone but him. And he was like one of the first
people that I even looked for. That's crazy.
Yeah. And so I just, I mean, I
remember, OK. I remember it was probably right
before I moved away. We went camping with a couple of

(27:23):
his friends. And when I can't remember the
lake, he totally remembers the lake that we went to.
But I'd never remembered that shit.
But we all went camping at this lake and me and him shared a
tent and a couple of the other friends were like splitting off
sharing tents or whatever and weall went skinny dipping.
That was my first experience skinny dipping.
How fun and. What skinny dipping at night,
which normally like would freak me out 'cause.

(27:47):
I like, you know, water night. I like to see.
I like to see. You in the water.
I have like a vivid imagination when it comes to like what could
possibly be in the water. I'm not talking like
microorganisms. I'm talking like possibly not
real creatures, possibly real creatures, You know, I don't
know. I just my imagination.
Is the problem you don't know? Yeah.

(28:08):
And it's a fucking like, so what's the worst?
I mean, it could be a sturgeon. Oh, gross.
I don't like that anyways. Spiraling.
Yeah, spiraling out of control, right?
You don't, you don't need that when you're skinny dipping at
night. So like the fact that the fact
that they convinced me to do this.
So I was like, yeah, fuck it, whatever.
Like you only live once. So we all are like out in this
lake, skinny dipping, having a great time, whatever.

(28:30):
I'm trying to play it really cool.
I don't know if you knew this buddy of mine, but I'm trying to
be like super chill and cool. But I think I was in for like
maybe 10-15 minutes and I was like, hey, I can feel my
imagination starting to get awayfrom me, so it's time for me to
get out of the water. But I need to play it cool
because I want everybody here tothink I'm a fucking pussy.

(28:53):
And I sure as fuck I'm not goingto tell them why I want to get
on the water because they're just going to fucking clown me
for the rest of this camping trip.
So I'm not telling no. So I just like, casually, like
making my way out of the water. But yeah, so it was really fun.
We had done that skinny dipping at night.
And yeah, it was just, it was a good time.
And that was like our last, likeone of our last experiences
together. But we spent so much time

(29:15):
together all the time. Like he was my best friend.
That's awesome. Yeah.
And I'm just really excited. So anyways, I told him, tell me
where you are. I'm coming to see you.
And so I am gonna go see him. We're gonna go spend.
I'm gonna spend the 4th of July week with him.
Yeah, Yeah. So I'm gonna go visit him in in
Tennessee. And that's.
So I know I'm very, very excited.

(29:37):
Like he's. Super, super excited.
You know what's funny? Gavin's best friend also lives
in Tennessee. Really.
Yeah. And they wanna meet up really
bad because they Gavin was therebefore, like right at the very
start when COVID hit and really started to shut shit down.
He was living there. So it's been, you know, around

(29:57):
five years since they've seen each other.
Where does his friend live in Tennessee?
I want to say Nashville, but I think it's actually a smaller
town somewhere near Nashville. I can't really remember, but
he's married, he's got a kid andeverything, and he's one of the
very few people that Gavin talksto on a regular basis so that.

(30:18):
Yeah, you. Were telling me about him.
Yeah. I was trying to when I was
trying to set him up on a bro date.
What You were telling me about his best friend when I was
telling you about my friend thatI wanted to set Gavin up with.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's just really funny that
his best friend is in Tennessee and your long lost best friend
is also in Tennessee. So fucking Tennessee is the

(30:38):
state for reunions and best friends.
I was so fucking excited. So yeah, I told her I was like,
OK, I'm looking at flights. I like we have the mud run June
29th, so I can't leave Sunday, but I can leave that next day.
And I said, and it would be cool.
We can fucking spend 4th of Julyweek together.
And he was like, fuck yeah, let's do it.
He's like, I'm so fucking excited.

(30:59):
I was like, OK, well, I'll look at flights and I'll come Monday,
we'll see what it looks like. I might stay till Saturday or
that Sunday. We'll see just what the price of
flights are or whatever. He was like, all right, cool.
Just so you know, I only have one bedroom and one bed.
And I was like, it wouldn't be the first time that we fucking
shared a bed together. Like we've slept in the same bed
so many times. We've seen each other naked.
We haven't seen each other naked, not.

(31:20):
During the skinny dipping. I he might have seen me naked.
I don't know if I saw him naked,Maybe.
Well. Naked in the same proximity.
Yeah, we've been naked in the same proximity.
We've never slept together. We've never, we were never like
we never hooked up or anything. Actually.
Yeah, no, we were always very platonic friends.
But yeah, he was like, OK, we'lljust making sure.

(31:40):
And then this morning he sends me a snap.
He's just got like bad bed head.He's like, dude, I'm so fucking
buzzed right now. Like I'm just, I'm buzzing.
I'm, I'm fucking so excited thatyou, I can't believe like 5
weeks you're going to be here. And then he scans over to his
bed. He was like, this spot right
here. This is going to be your spot.
Oh my God, you're such a dork. Just excited.

(32:05):
But he's already got his ticketsto a Band Of Horses concert,
which is really fucking cool. Oh, it gets fucking better,
apparently. Apparently there is a place over
there that they they do concertsunderground in a fucking cave.
What? Yeah.
And that sounds cool as fuck. Dude.
That is where we're going to go watch Band Of Horses.

(32:27):
Like he bought our tickets. I think he said yesterday or the
day before. Yeah.
So. Oh.
I bet the acoustics are awesome in there.
Oh my God, I'm fuck. I'm so excited.
It's going to be so much fun. I'm I'm really excited.
So yeah, I think it'll be, I think it'll be great.
Yeah. So anyways, I'm just like, I'm
fucking like, yeah, geeked out happiness.
Right. Yeah, yeah.

(32:48):
Oh, that is so cool. I really, I love that for both
of you guys. Yeah, it's gonna be good, man.
I just, yeah, I'm, I go like, hey, someone's looking at
flights. Is 11:44 PM too late for you to
come make me up at the airport? And he was like, fuck no, I will
get you anytime, anywhere. Like just tell me when and I'll
be there. And I was like, aw, I love you

(33:09):
so much. I'm so excited.
For both of you. That's really awesome.
Yeah, so anyways, that's what I wanted to share.
I was like, I told him too. I was like, I'm talking about
this on the podcast. He's like, fuck yeah, that's so
rad, dude, that's fantastic. I love it.
Also, okay, gets fucking Wilder.Do you know how this
motherfucker found me? Huh.

(33:30):
So apparently he had tried looking for me after that whole
phone. Thing I actually meant to ask
and. Then totally forgot.
So, so when he wound up like having that short phone call
with me and hanging up, he thought that I was like really
mad at him or something. I don't know.
He'd like blew it up in his headto be something bigger.
And so he didn't reach out for along time.

(33:50):
Well, then he wound up finding my old Facebook account and I
guess he had sent messages to it, but I don't check that.
I don't even have access to thatanymore.
But I am friends with my my old account.
So anyway, that goes to that onecan see that I'm friends.
Like they'll see me on there. Yeah, you know, So hopefully it
leads them to my current Facebook account.
That wasn't the case. He said he sent messages too

(34:13):
easy. Yeah, he sent messages to my old
one. Didn't hear anything.
He was like, oh, man, I was right.
She, she does fucking hate me. Like she doesn't ever want to
talk to me. Like I, I fucked up.
I I fucked this up so bad and I was like bro.
Like damn, that's. So wrong.
So very wrong. So for like years, he just
didn't reach out. OK, so then apparently like he's
been talking about me for years,but also like he's just like,

(34:37):
tell me the other day that one of his new employees, he's been
talking to him about me since hehired him a year ago.
I was like, are you fucking kidding me right now?
That's wild. I guess he had Googled me trying
to find me again and had no luck, which is wild because your
realtor. Yeah, but he doesn't.
He doesn't know my new last name.
Oh, that's that's right. Yeah.
So. Yeah.

(34:58):
So with my maiden name, Yeah, hehad didn't have any luck.
But this is how he found me. And this is what's fucking wild.
The next day, he opened up his Spotify.
The sauce box was. Recommended to podcast is how he
found you. He was like.
Oh my God that is so awesome. He's like what the fuck is this

(35:20):
sauce box thing? And he's like looking at it and
he's like Nikki brat and Samara just like wait the wait, what
the fuck? He's like holy shit.
So then he's like looking at thepictures, like holy fuck, dude,
that's Nikki and binged fucking podcast.
He's like, this is so fucking yeah.
So I like you already. Yeah, he's like, you like you
more. He's like, you guys are so

(35:41):
fucking hilarious. He's like, this was so good.
Like, the chemistry you and Samara have is great.
Whatever. I was like, OK, I have to know,
how many episodes did you listento before you were like, OK, I
need to reach out to her again. Like, I need to try and reach
out to her again. Like, you're just, like, living
vicariously through the podcast,Like, I miss her, you know?
Like what? Was her friends again and she

(36:01):
doesn't even know it. Right.
Yeah. He was like, it was so cool.
He's like like catching up with your life, like through the
podcast. I mean kind of, I don't really
divulge a ton of things, especially like dating and
stuff, but he did, he did, I guess I do divulge more than I
think because he did catch on toa few things.
So I'd ask him like, how many episodes did you listen to
before you decided to reach out to me again?

(36:22):
He goes probably 5 or 6. I was like, how many of you
listened to? And he's like all of them.
I love that. That's so like it feels very
what's what's serendipitous? Yeah, kind of like it.
It, it makes me think of like the how people tell you that

(36:46):
when you follow your dreams and the things that you want, other
things kind of fall in line and they the right things find you.
The fact that our podcast is howhe found me.
Yeah, it just, it feels like something magical in the
universe, you know, like all these different things lined up
so beautifully. Uh huh.

(37:06):
I know is it? Oh my God, I just.
Fucking love it. That's fucking, that's tight.
I know it's really cool. I love it so much.
Yeah. So I was just really excited.
Then I was just super flattered because like, you guys are so
fucking fun. He's like, I love listening to
you. I drive a lot for work and so
and so, you know, all I do is just listen to, you know, music

(37:28):
or whatever. But when I found your podcast, I
was like, you guys are way more fucking entertaining than music.
And so I was just binging your whole podcast, yes, which I was
just like, thank you. I love that so much.
Also please share and recommend to everybody.
Kate yeah, if he doesn't, if we don't see another rating.
I know I'm gonna. Punch him in the arm.
I give you permission. Hopefully you've rated us.

(37:49):
I mean, come on, man. Really say it in like at the end
of every episode. Right, exactly, exactly.
So anyway, so that was just my really fucking cool story.
I just loved how that all came around and the fact that it's
really, that's so cool. I was able to reconnect with a
friend of mine from fucking highschool that I've looked for for
like 20 years. Actually, yeah, probably about
20 years. So that's just, that's just wild

(38:11):
to me. And it makes me very, very
fucking happy. And he found us through our
podcast, which makes me even fucking happier.
And he thinks we're hilarious and loves our podcast, which
makes me even. I'm just like all levels of
happy right now. Did he, did he recognize you in
the in our? Picture.
I think he saw the name, he saw the names and.
Oh, next to like under the name of the podcast.
Yeah, and then I think he lookedcloser at the picture and was

(38:34):
like, holy shit, she. Kind of looks familiar.
That is super cool it. Was really cool.
He was like, it was so fucking cool to hear your voice, man.
It was so cool to hear your voice and like, hear you laugh.
I was like, Oh my God, that's her.
That's Nikki. It was.
Yeah. So anyways, I'm really fucking
psyched. That's my that's.
Awesome. So yeah, it's been a fucking

(38:56):
slam dunk of a week. Like.
Dude, I yeah, absolutely. I'd say I.
Was like, dude, you made my fucking week.
You like made your week. You made my fucking month.
I was like, dude, you made my life, OK.
We're just let's not compete. We're both happy.
Super, very happy. Exactly.
So yeah. That's cool.
I'm really excited for you. Thanks.

(39:17):
I know I'm excited. So once I go see him, I'll give
everybody like the lowdown, yeah, how it's going to work.
Man, we're going to have to do acouple recordings.
We are because we're not going to be able to record the day of
the mud run, so we're going to have to record that week before.
Yeah, it's going to be good. That's so fun.
I want to. We were talking about how we
wanted to go down to Tennessee to see Gavin's best friend and

(39:41):
then, you know, trying to figureout something with the dogs
because that's always the biggest thing with both of us
wanting to travel together somewhere.
But how I was like, it would be really cool since Tennessee and
Oklahoma are pretty close together.
They're they're not that far, all right.
Because you could go see Jake. Yeah, and I could go see Sammy

(40:04):
like. You can go see your Oklahomies.
Yeah, and I mean, we were just talking about it, but I was
like, that would be really fun. I got to meet your best friend
and then you got to go meet my best friends down in Oklahoma.
That would be amazing. I'm just saying that would be
amazing. I hope you guys are able to go
do that because I think that would be a really cool
experience so. Fun.

(40:24):
There's so many restaurants I ifthey're even still open, I
imagine they are. But down in Tulsa that I want to
take him to so bad. Because as much as I didn't like
Oklahoma, because, you know, theprairies, yeah.
And how fucking flat it is and growing up in the Pacific
Northwest, like not the state for me, but Oh my God, the food.

(40:46):
It is so good in Tulsa. I have so I have a list I.
Hope you guys too. I hope you guys get to do that.
I think that would be really, itwould be a cool thing for you
guys to be able to do anyways. Yeah, besides travelling just to
Washington to see our respectivefamilies.
Right to actually. Have a real trip.
Together. Yeah, just the two of you.
That would be fun. And you guys get to go see each

(41:08):
other's best friends, meet each other's best friends.
Kind of like check out your old stomping grounds.
Like that's just fun. It would be really cool because
for a long time I've had these separate worlds in my life where
I have these different friend groups that have never
intermingled. Yeah, before they've only heard
of each other. So to have that bridge kind of

(41:30):
made. Yeah.
Like that would be that would becool.
I think that would be that woulddo something in my in my heart
for me. I.
Think for sure there's somethingreally special about having the
people that you love meet each other just like I love you so
much and I love you so much and I really want you guys to meet
each other because you guys are going to love each other so much
and it's just going to be so happy.

(41:50):
It's going to be so much love, so much love.
I love it, yes. Anyways, Speaking of love, we're
going to talk a little bit aboutdating.
Nothing too crazy is mostly justlike a bullshitting episode, to
be honest. Real quick, when I just, I want
all of our listeners to know. How I fucked with you When we

(42:10):
went to the concert, going inside, you gave the, the
doorman, I don't think he was really a bouncer, but you gave
him as the extra ticket. But when we went through the
security line and you, you, you beeped.
He set it off. And I was like, I, I turned to

(42:30):
because there was one guy, therewas two people, one to check and
then one to like view what sets everything off.
And I you were going through your purse with one and then the
guy that was at the front. With the metal detector.
Yeah, I turned to him and I was like, I told her to leave her
dildos at home. And he's just, he was trying to

(42:51):
keep it together, but he ended up laughing.
Yeah. And then you walk up to your
like, sister, what did I tell you?
Fucking leave your dildos at home.
I was like, you fucking cut. Shut up.
The guy that's checking my purseis like you're good, Starts
laughing. You're such a bitch.
Yeah, I know. I'm a funny 1 though.

(43:11):
Yeah, I know. We we just make such magic
together. It's beautiful.
I just wanted to share that. That popped into my head.
I was like, that was such a good, good time for me.
Yeah, it was pretty. Funny.
I love it. I love it.
I live for those moments. I think they're.
Great. They're so much fun, they add
spice and they make people that are working have a a little
highlight in their in their day or night, whatever also.

(43:34):
I was trying to take a selfie with Samara at the concert last
night, so I'm trying to take a picture.
I'm trying to take a selfie of me and Samara with the stage
behind us, and I want to get Ziggy Albert's in, in the frame,
right of like, oh, this is who we're seeing the well.
The lights are so fucking bright.

(43:56):
It's like I'm taking a selfie ofan explosion happening behind
us. You see nothing.
Like suddenly Ziggy Alberts is just this.
Angel, and it's nothing but bright light.
You can't even see a person up there.
It's literally just bright light.
So, like, cool. This is so good.
Such a great picture. Oh, my God.

(44:19):
Yeah. So anyways, that was also very
funny. Yes.
Yes, it was. This is a great selfie.
That's a lot of fun. It was.
Dildos and blinding lights. I love it.
Oh, my gosh. Anyway, so I kind of wanted to
just talk about what it's like to date after being married.

(44:41):
Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, it does.
It really does. Just got to the trace in socks.
It's like, I don't know. I'm not to the point where,
like, I hate it necessarily. I would say, I don't know.
I don't know if it sucks for me yet.
I would just say it's more full of disappointment.

(45:05):
Kind of sounds like it. Sucks, but you know, that's just
my interpretation. OK, that's just me trying to be
like the optimist, OK, I'm always trying to be the
optimist. And so like, you know, I don't
want to, I don't want to like hate on everybody because, you
know, 90% of them suck. I'm like but there's still 10%
that are so fucking cool man. Truly an optimist.

(45:26):
Yes, I really AM. And so I it's really, it's a bit
of a detriment to me because I like to see the best in people
and so I tend to give people multiple chances when I
shouldn't maybe give people multiple chances was getting
some hate on that from me and MO.

(45:47):
Yeah. So that was whatever I I say
that she avoids eye contact because this motherfucker, you
guys, I am telling you like I went into this like all I wanted
was sex, OK? I was like, this guy is
beautiful, He's gorgeous, He's got a great Dick.

(46:09):
I just want to have sex with him.
Like that's all I want. I'm not looking for a
relationship, not looking for anything, just sex.
It seemed like that's also what he wanted in the beginning, but
then. Fucking apparently not.
But then he like started turningit into like a bigger thing,
like, Oh, I really want to take you out, you know, take you out
to dinner and like to date you. You seem really cool.
But all this stuff, right? All this is happening through

(46:31):
text messaging. You guys like we've never
fucking met. And and me, I'm just like, let's
get together, like lunch, dinner, drinks.
I don't give a fuck. Like let's let's meet up.
And he just keeps like kind of, you know, he was like really
busy, but all these different things.
Can't do it. There's a couple times you're
supposed to meet up. He ghosted, didn't show up,
didn't say anything to me, nothing like that.

(46:53):
Just just a bitch. And the third time that he'd
done that, yes, Third time, guys.
Third time. I'm in agreement with all of
you. The third time he done that, it
really actually hurt that time because I believed him, because
the other two times, it wasn't like, necessarily like concrete

(47:14):
plans. You know, it was kind of like,
yeah, if we can make it happen. So I don't really want to say
that he ghosted me those two times.
The first two times, it was morelike we had made plans and he
kind of bailed. But this the the third time that
like he didn't show up. Legitimate plans had been made
and confirmed. Yeah, and and then he ghosted
and that that was that really stung.

(47:35):
He blamed it on work. No, he blamed it on family.
He blamed it. I thought it was work.
No, I did. OK.
Well, I don't want to say what all of it was on here.
Yeah, no, that's but no, it was,it was a family.
The last one. Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about the last.
One oh, no, no, no. So I'm talking about tattoo Expo
time. Oh, so.

(47:56):
So yeah. Anyway, so he'd build that song.
I was like, OK, whatever. Like, you know, you, you built
you built this up to be something bigger.
Like I was just I was. Just trying to fuck bro.
Yeah, I was literally just trying to have sex like that was
it. I wasn't looking for anything
else. Let.
Me suck your Dick. I don't know why this is so
hard, like what the actual fuck.Yeah, because the whole thing

(48:21):
is. Just built it up, like I want to
take you out on dates. I want to see you.
I want to like, you know, make something I want to do.
Like I want to be with you, LikeI want to date you.
And I'm like, OK, I kind of opened up to that just because
we've been talking a lot and I liked his personality and I
just, I feel like we mesh reallywell talking and stuff like
that. And I was like, OK, cool.
Like I'm open to it. Even though I'm like not

(48:41):
actively looking for a relationship.
I'm obviously open to it. And so that was what stung for
me because I was going into thislike, I don't need any strings
attached, right? Like, I like clean slate.
Like, I don't need anything fromyou other than sex.
And he was like, but I want sex and more stuff with you.
And I was like, really? Yeah, OK, cool, we can give it a

(49:05):
shot. And then nothing.
And I'm like, but why? Why are you doing like?
What's the point? Why string me along when and
make me want things that I didn't even initially want if
you're just going to? And not even give those things
like that disappeared. To the ether.
It just fucking blows my mind. So anyways, I don't talk to them
for like a month because I'm like, yeah, fuck you, whatever.
I deserve better than this. I wish I could convince myself

(49:26):
of that long term. I'm working on it.
The thing is, is like when I like somebody, it's really hard
for me to let go. And, and I'm still learning how
to do that. I'm also still learning what I'm
worth and what I deserve. So, you know, it's like having
to reteach myself after a long time of being made to feel like
I don't really deserve anything.Can be difficult, but you'll get

(49:47):
there. So so anyways, he reaches out to
me like a month later and it's like, I'm really sorry.
Like, you know, I was like, you're an asshole.
I was like, I'm not an asshole, just made a mistake.
I was like, what mistake was that?
Not so coming to see you and I was like, you ghosted, like you,
you, you fucking build, you confirmed plans and like two
hours before and then just didn't show.

(50:08):
Like are you kidding? No.
So not cool. We're we're grown.
Exactly, exactly. We can communicate like you
could have at least sent a text,whatever he tells me.
So then this is when he like tells me about this like family
thing that's going on in his life, kind of like reoccurring.
And it hits home because we kindof have like similar situations
in our family. I'm like, OK, I get that.

(50:30):
I don't want to believe you, butI do believe you.
Whatever, Like cool, we can let it go.
He's like, well, I'd really liketo take you out to dinner and
make it up for you. I was like, I don't think I can
do that. Like that last time really hurt.
I don't believe that you're going to follow through.
And he's like, no, I really wantto blah, blah.
So I'm like, OK, fine, let's let's do something like sooner
rather than later, though. And he's like, all right, great.

(50:51):
Well, let's go out to lunch. And he's like, this is when I
take lunch. You pick the place.
I pick the place. He's like, OK, great.
I hit him up the day before. I'm like, hey, are we still good
for lunch tomorrow? That he doesn't respond.
The day that we're supposed to have lunch, he responds and
says, I hope so. I'm like, OK, cool.
We'll I'll be there. You know, like, I don't know how

(51:12):
I'm supposed to take this. I hope so.
Does that mean, like, I hope I can make it.
I hope you can make it. I hope we're still on.
What the fuck does that mean? Like there's so many ways to
interpret that. Yeah.
You know. And so I go, he doesn't respond
after I say, well, OK, well, I'mgoing to be there.
Then I hit him up. I'm like, hey, I'm here.
Nothing. So then I message.

(51:32):
I was like, I can't believe I fucking fell for your bullshit
again, but I'm done. Goodbye.
I should have just fucking, you know, believed what you showed
me in the 1st place, like just, you know, whatever.
And just fucking just frustratedwith myself.
And he hits me up probably like when he got off work and he was

(51:53):
like, I'm so, so sorry. He was like, work was so crazy.
It was really busy and I was like, you could have at least
sent me a text. He's like, I wasn't around my
phone most of the day. I'm like, OK, well, fucking
whatever. And.
And he was like, I had no idea you were going to go When I told
you that I wasn't going to be able.
I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it.
I was like, you never said that you weren't sure you were going
to be able to make it. You I asked you if we're still

(52:14):
on and you said I hope so. Yeah.
That's not saying I don't hardlyanything.
Yeah, like, OK, I guess elaborate.
You can't just be like, I hope so and and leave it at that and
assume that I'm going to like interpret that as I hope I can
make it like. Did you forget to type those
last couple of words? You know what I mean?
It's always like, you never fucking said that.

(52:36):
You never said those things to me.
And like, so yeah, I showed up. I was like, but it's fine.
It's whatever. You obviously like, I'm not who
you want. It's obvious.
Like just fucking admit it. It's fine.
We can go our separate ways. He's like, no, I do fucking want
you. I really do fucking want you.
And I was like, you have an awful way of showing it.
No shit, dude. Like you're stringing me along,

(52:57):
making me feel like shit, ghosting me like and you.
No, you don't standing me up. No you don't like there is like
a famous saying like for men youknow, it's like if they want to
they will. OK bro.
You, you or your words aren't matching your actions, you know
and so. Speak louder than them words,
dude. Yeah.
So I'm just like, OK, whatever, but anyone?

(53:18):
Punch this guy in the throat. You know what's fucking worse is
like if I did like, I don't know, I feel like I would
actually like keep giving him more shots just because I really
do want to fucking just like I want to see him face to face and
I want to figure out like, what the fuck?
Why Like were you just scared toto meet up?

(53:39):
He's just emotionally unavailable and has too much
shit going on in his life. Right.
But then it's like, but if you have too much shit going on in
your life, why are you also trying to create a relationship
with somebody that you don't actually like?
I just don't understand. From his his real life who fuck
I know. I don't get it.
It's just it's fucking yeah. I'm like, OK, whatever.

(54:00):
It's just frustrating. Anyways, dating dating after
marriage. Let me just say.
So this was why I wanted to talkabout the dating world is so
much fucking different than whenI was single like 15 years ago.
It's I mean, even just from fiveyears ago.
Well, I don't know about five years ago, but I'm speaking from
my experience. Yeah.

(54:22):
I mean, I've been married and divorced, right?
Yes. And remember that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you guys are only 5 years
into your relationship, so. Yeah, Yeah.
I mean, so even five years ago. It's different from you know
what you and Jake tell me. Yeah, that's.
No. Everything I hate, I would.
Hate to be single right now. Yeah, everything's online.

(54:43):
And then you never know really what, what people actually are
wanting. And it's so hard to meet up.
Oh, the number of times that I have matched with the dude who's
like, yeah, long term relationship or, you know, long
term, open to short or whatever.And they're all just like DTF,
you know, it's like, OK, if you're just on here looking for

(55:05):
somebody to fuck, then just say you're here for short term fun.
Just fucking be honest. Like be you're about what?
Your people. Yeah, you're going to find them.
Like, why are you trying to like, catfish people into
something that they're not looking for?
Yeah, if you guys aren't, it makes no sense.
You get bullshit. I'm looking for a long term
relationship. You guys match.

(55:25):
Start talking. You're like cool man, like God,
I want to fuck you so bad and like, wait, what?
This is how you you propose to start a luxury relationship?
Like what? Oh, you know, if the if the
right thing comes along. No, you're just fucking lying to
people out here. Right.
Just fucking say what you mean. Yeah.
Say what you fucking mean if that's what you're looking, if

(55:48):
that's what you're fucking looking for.
But no, dating now is so different because before I would
meet people in the wild, it was like, there was, I mean, there
was online dating, but it wasn't.
It's not what it is. It's not what it is now.
No, it was definitely much more kind of like eHarmony, right?
Was like, was like the bigger kind of thing.

(56:08):
Which funny fucking story with E?
Plenty of fish, yeah. Funny story with eHarmony for
getting on that after my first divorce.
I go through, do the whole profile thing or whatever and it
fucking matches me with my ex-husband.
Clearly not using your services.Like, OK, you guys obviously

(56:30):
fucking suck. I was like, I divorced this
motherfucker. I deleted it.
I was like, cool, delete. I was like, I'm not even going
to trust anything else on this fucking app because.
You know. Are you kidding me?
No, we don't fucking match. We never match.
We never should have been married like we got.
We were together for the girls, like so they could.
I'm into this world. And that was it.
Yeah, no, wrong. So that was my one.

(56:52):
That was my one experience with with eHarmony.
And I was like, yeah, no, but yeah, I would go out and you'd
just meet people. But that wasn't like the world
where men approached women and women welcomed men talking to
them. It wasn't like, you know,
attacking men for looking at them or smiling or saying
something dressed for you, right?
No shit, bitch. It's like fuck, it was like now

(57:15):
I'm out and I noticed I I noticed men see me and I noticed
them watching me or looking at me or whatever.
Rarely will a man come up to me or approach me.
And when they do it's usually after they've had a few drinks
and are feeling pretty brave. Which is fine.
Whatever, Whatever the fuck you got to do like walk up let's

(57:35):
fucking because I'm not out herelooking for a boy.
So unless you got a fucking backbone of balls, like let's
go, man. I'm, I'm trying to, I'm trying
to like, meet men, not fucking boys.
Yeah. Grow the fuck up.
If you like somebody then go sayhi, OK?
If you're afraid of rejection orsomebody yelling at you, fucking
put on your big boy pants, OK? I bet you can handle it, and

(57:56):
let's fucking go. I don't envy anybody that's out
out here trying to date. I mean, I hear the stuff that
Jay goes through trying to find people and just like this, this
just sounds like hell. I mean, I'd I've only tried,
I've tried Tinder. There was another one that I

(58:17):
tried for a while but I can't remember what it was another.
Like Bumble or Hinge? I think it was Hinge, Yeah.
No, it was Hinge. And it's just like after a
while, at least for me, it was just like I was looking at
people's pictures, just just looking.
Yeah. And I was like, I don't, I don't
even know how to start a conversation with people to like

(58:39):
even start getting to know them.Like I.
I make sense because like, I hate that as like an introvert,
I feel like dating apps aren't really geared towards introverts
because dating apps are very much like if you see somebody in
your match, like you need to initiate conversation because
you know, it's, it's really justa fucking toss of a coin if
somebody's going to hit you up, if even if they liked you first.

(59:02):
Yeah. And some apps don't even let the
men, like, approach the woman first, like the woman has to,
which a lot of women don't like.And some women do like, and I'm
like, no, I want like a dude wants to fucking talk to me,
then I need them to hit me up first.
Yeah, I just, I never, I alreadyfucking loathe small talk.
And so having to initiate a conversation with someone that I

(59:23):
know literally nothing about that I might be interested in,
then I'm like, I don't have hi. Yeah, see, it's easier for you.
It's easier for me as like an extrovert.
And I and I like it when men hitme up first, but I don't have a
problem with hitting them up. You know, if I'm like really
interested, I'll be like, hey, so and so what's up, You know,

(59:44):
how are you doing today? Whatever.
Just to like, see if they'll even respond.
Because sometimes you'll say something to them, like you'll
send a message and then you don't even hear anything, you
know? So I'm like, all right.
But then if we wind up, you know, I'm trying to like, OK, do
you want to go meet up for a drink?
Do you want to go play some pool?
Like, let's meet up right away so we can do this like in person
and see each other 'cause it's so hard to like, carry on a
conversation. With somebody that you don't

(01:00:05):
know and you're not seeing face to face, you're not having like
a real time conversation. Yeah.
You don't know how they they speak or how to read their
messages or anything. Exactly like you're, you're
missing out on eye contact and body language and, and and all
of that. And so, you know, I just want to
see you in person. But what I'm finding is that a
lot of times men on dating apps aren't interested in that.

(01:00:26):
Like they just want sexting and to trade photos and it's like,
OK, but I'm that's not what I'm here for.
Like, mm, hmm, you guys are all on here just like looking for
your own personal like fuck toys.
Like I don't, I don't want that.Not even being honest about it
half the time. And not even being honest about
it. And I'll be real, sometimes I'm
like, yeah, OK, sexting is fun. Like, you know, have fun with
it. But it.
Can't be, but it can't be the only thing.

(01:00:47):
Right. Like it gets boring after a
while. Like, you know, at some point
I'm like, I really like, I want like human connection.
Like, I want to see somebody. I want to know what you smell
like, What do you look like? I want to see what your face
looks like when you laugh. I want to hear your laugh.
You know what I mean? After so much sexting, it's
like, OK, cool, you're really turned on and then I'm over here
being indifferent, like taking ashit on the toilet or something.

(01:01:08):
I'm. Just like, all right, cool, I'm
over it. I'd like some real conversation,
you know, if it amazingly even gets past the initial small talk
kind of thing. And that's the thing, like you
have that small talk and I feel like it goes one of two ways.
It either goes towards sexting or it goes towards like, hey,
let's meet up. And most of the time it's like

(01:01:28):
sexting or, or you have like those first couple of like
interactions and then there's just nothing.
You're like, where the fuck did they go?
Like always said was, hey, how'sit going?
Oh, good. Are you free?
You know, and it's just like, and then they're just gone.
Yeah. OK.
Why are you on here? Crickets.
You know, I'm like, it's like a waste of time, like filtering
through and maybe it's not as bad for guys, I don't know,

(01:01:49):
because like a lot of guys that I talked to like dude, are there
anybody, is there even anybody on Hinge?
Like what the hell? I never get any matches or I
hardly ever get. Matches right?
And now you have to worry about fake profiles.
Oh my God, there's so many and there's, and there's even bots
now that will message you. I can fucking Oh my God dude.
I can pull them out pretty easy now.

(01:02:10):
Like especially on like Tinder I've gotten pretty good at
recognizing if it's a bot because usually it's like this
model looking dude where you're like fucking please you are not
on Tinder out here looking for afucking date bro.
Like you're like GQ cover statuslike fuck.
Off and then thinking about thatwith how and.
They always have like 4 photos. They're either they're always

(01:02:32):
like exactly 100 miles away, like it's or no, it's 97.
It's 97 miles away and it's 4. It's four photos.
Sometimes they'll have three actually.
And then it's always long term relationship, They're always
looking for a long term relationship.
And then when you do start talking, it inevitably pretty
quickly goes to what do you do for work?

(01:02:54):
I'm like, why the fuck? Why are we, why are we talking
about what I do for work? Like, I don't want to talk about
that. You know, it's like, and they'll
be, Oh yeah, this is what I do like, oh, cool.
So what's that like, you know, But, you know, and like, and it
just gets to where they're like more interested in what you do
for work than like you. Does that make sense?
Yeah. And so like, not even really
asking about your job necessarily, just more asking

(01:03:15):
like, I can't even, like, describe it.
Anyways, it winds up always going towards like fucking
Bitcoin and some shit like that.You're like are.
You trying to figure out how much money you make?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like how.
Much money? Can I get milk out of this
person? Yeah, I'm just like, no, I, I.
Scam. As soon as they even start
asking about my job and like, just the way they talk to, it's

(01:03:36):
just not like geckos. Yeah.
It's just not like a regular conversation.
So you're just like, this is off, like something's off about
this. And once they ask about that,
I'm like, all right, unmatch, but like at this.
And that's only if they get pastlike the picture part.
Because most of them you look atthe picture, you add in the the
only get it that that algorithm we had talked about in a couple

(01:03:59):
episodes back of Yeah, the the algorithm only show you a
certain like range, yeah, a certain range of attractiveness.
Yeah, like in your league or whatever.
I'm like, this is just sounds like fucking hell out here, you
know? Well, and then they're just so
geared towards like making money.

(01:04:19):
And so it's not geared towards like finding matches and helping
people to meet people. Oh.
You want to do this? Well get this tier.
Yeah, you want to do? This and with the benefits of
this. You want to see all these people
Tier? Yeah.
You want to see all these peoplewho like to pay for this much
money, It's like, oh, you want to be able to actually talk to
these people, pay this much money?
It's so bullshit. It is like, no, they're not out
here trying to help people fucking no meet.

(01:04:41):
They're out here just trying to make money.
And so it's just, yeah, it's not.
It's just not fun it. It sounds exhausting.
It's I just want to meet people in the wild and it's just hard
because as a woman, I feel like I have to go after guys, like I
have to approach them first. Just.
Start carrying a sign that says if you're a man and think I'm
attractive, come talk to me. I'm friendly.

(01:05:04):
Sounds thirsty. It's almost sounds like it was
like please somebody talk to me.I'm friendly, I swear.
No, I feel like I need to get that shirt I showed you, which
is like, I promise I'm nicer than my face.
Appears yeah, that RBF do be real.
Uh huh, I know I have bad RBF. Dude same.
So I'm like and I try to smile and like when I'm out I'm

(01:05:26):
usually so happy. Go lucky dude, you're nothing
but smiles. Even at the bars last night,
fucking cheesing. Even at the bars last night,
nobody fucking approached me. Really.
Nobody approached me. Two guys fucking checking you
out. That's the I see guys check me
out all the time. They don't ever put on one.
Of them, they were standing at the the second bar that we went

(01:05:48):
to in one took a step forward, saw you literally took a step
back and then like leaned back and watched you for a second and
then elbow his buddy and his buddy leaned over and then they
had like this little look at each other kind of thing and I
was like, just fucking say something dude.

(01:06:08):
Like damn, I'm just blatantly watching you guys look at my
sister. Like just say hi my God you're
fucking grown. Oh my gosh, it kills me.
Like just fucking say something,God.
Because there's a lot of women out there who want men to
approach them. And we're just like, dude, guys
don't approach us. Like why not?

(01:06:28):
And I'm like, and you know, and then you start getting like this
almost kind of getting a little bit self-conscious because
you're like, am I? Am I not attractive like you
know? Might start getting in your own
head. Yeah, you're just like, am I not
attractive? I mean, guys don't want to.
Guys don't want to talk to me, you know?
And it's like, I don't. Yeah.
So you're just like confused, like what's going on?
I don't get it. But that's it's just not the

(01:06:50):
case. So I don't know.
It's just frustrating. I am very glad that where the
town that Gavin and I were living in when we first met was
when I decided to try Tinder again after, I don't know,
probably 4-3 or four years from the last time that I had
initially tried it. And he is so not the man to be

(01:07:12):
on a dating app at all. But I was just like I, I was
meeting guys and like meeting upwith them, spending time with
them and everything. But I wasn't finding anyone that
it obviously could have gone somewhere.
Like it just just dead ends and then one giant asshole.
But Gavin and I ended up meetingbecause we were where I was

(01:07:35):
living. I was living with some cousins
by marriage and they were all going to go out to have this
family game night just like playing board games and all that
going to one of their other family members houses.
And I was like, well, I kind of want to go.
I kind of don't like been kind of going through it emotionally.
I kind of just want to spend thenight by myself, like just doing

(01:07:59):
me, you know, And then it got tothe point where I was like, wow,
this is just really sad. I'm just laying in bed with my
dogs, like not doing anything. I was like, I'm fuck it.
I don't have any friends here, not really.
And I was like, I'm just going to get gussied up and go try and
find a bar somewhere and have a couple of drinks by myself or

(01:08:22):
whatever. So I had these nice red heels on
and this nice Lacy pinkish dressand.
You showed me a picture of what you look like that night that
you met. Oh yeah.
And I was actually like, I was going on walks.
And runs. You absolutely catfished Gavin.
Oh boy, did I fuck that poor man, that lucky poor man.

(01:08:46):
I mean, I was, I was in good shape.
Yeah, I was getting in much better shape.
And then so like, I looked really good and I walked into
the bar where he was bartending and a.
Fucking summer dress in heels. Men's weakness.
Yeah, and he for the, it was definitely kind of like a, a
dive bar, you know, small town dive bar.

(01:09:09):
And he even now he's like, I remember looking at you and
being like, who the fuck is that?
And why are you dressed like that here?
Like, are you lost? Are you, are you fucking lost?
And that's so funny. I ended up ordering, I think it
was like a whiskey sour because I went through a phase with

(01:09:31):
whiskey sour. Was he the bartender?
He was a bartender there. Yeah, he was.
He was working, he was one of the like 2, I think bartenders.
And so he gave me a drink. I go sit down, get another drink
or something and he comes over and he's like, I'm about to be
off. Do you mind if I like buy you a
drink and sit with you or whatever.
He's like, I'm about to be off. Oh no, that's what it was.

(01:09:54):
I was, he was going to close my tab.
Well, he asked if I wanted to close my tab or keep it open
because he was about to be off. And I was like, Oh well, I'll,
I'll just close it with you so Ican, I can tip you so it doesn't
get to the next person that takes it over.
And then being in the yeah, thank you.
That was like a green flag. And he's like, oh, you want to

(01:10:17):
make sure that you tip me? OK, I like that.
And then when he brought me backmy receipt to to sign and
everything, that's when he askedif he could get me a drink and
we could like sit there togetherand everything.
And then after that, you know, Idid end up catfishing him
because I think it was like the second time I met his family, I

(01:10:38):
went over there in cowboy boots and basketball.
Shorts. And I don't typically dress up
like that anymore. Poor man.
But yeah, I mean, with the dating apps, and it had been a
few months that I was using themand everything, and I finally

(01:11:01):
get rid of it and then I meet this man in the wild and we've
been together for five years. I fucking love that.
And that's The thing is you wentout on your own and he
approached you. Yeah, OK.
I go out on my own all the fucking time.
I know and you have. You're way nicer than I I'm.
Like what am I missing? Like can somebody please fucking

(01:11:23):
tell me? And I have had men tell me, you
know, like, I really wanted to talk to you, but you're really
intimidating. And I'm like, what is
intimidating about? Isn't the confidence?
Like I just like, yeah, well, I've had one guy.
One guy recently told me that hewas like, you know, I wanted to
talk to you earlier, but I had to get a few drinks to me.
And he's like, cuz you're reallyintimidating.
So I was afraid to talk to. I was like, why?

(01:11:44):
He was like, because you're fucking gorgeous.
I'm like, OK, well I'm flatteredbut.
Do it anyway then. Talk to me anyways.
Like if you think I'm that pretty fucking talk to.
Me, do a walk by compliment, seewhat happens, right?
And I've had That's the thing that blows me away.
I will have them and say, you look, you're you're gorgeous or
you're very beautiful. And I big ol smile, I smile at
them, make eye contact like, wow, thank you so much.

(01:12:05):
I really appreciate that. And then they just leave it that
like, OK, I don't know what elseyou want me to do.
I'm not going to stop and have aconversation with you just
because you complimented me. I'm not taking that as like an
invitation to hear, let's have aconversation, you know, right.
So like so after I say thank you, then that's your cue to
like. Keep talking, keep talking.
This is your opening, right? Literally.

(01:12:27):
Come on. So I don't know, it's just it's
very frustrating. But I did actually cancel
Tinder, so my Tinder account is going to be inactive at the end
of this. Is there anything else that
you're you're on or was it just under?
Facebook Dating, but that's freeand I checked that occasionally,
but I feel like people hardly ever get on there.

(01:12:47):
I mean, there's a ton of people on there, but when you message
like people rarely get on there and check their messages, myself
included. Mostly I forget about it, but
but yeah, I just I don't know, I'm done paying for Tinder.
I'm over it. It's just a bunch of people just
looking to fuck and it's like, OK, I mean, cool.
I also would like that, but I can find that just out in person

(01:13:08):
and find you guys got to actually fucking meet up.
Exactly. And so I was like, whatever,
Tinder's a fucking joke. So I'm over it.
Like even people that actually just want to fuck don't actually
want to fuck. So whatever.
I and honestly, what do you people want?
I don't want, I don't even want one night stands, though.
That's the other thing. I'm like, I don't want a
relationship, but I don't want one night stands.
Like I just want, I'm like a fuck buddy.

(01:13:28):
Yeah. And I have something of
sustenance to whatever level, but something more than just one
night stands, right? Like come over and like cuddle.
We can fuck. Also like let's watch a movie.
Yeah. You want dinner, right?
We can, you want a snack? We can fucking order a pizza in.
Like, I, I, I am not high maintenance, like just super
chill, cozy. Like that's what I would like,

(01:13:50):
you know, like that would be cool.
You want to go and get a drink? You want to go play pool.
So I'm like, I would be down forthat.
And then we can have sex. I just, I'm so it's just I'm not
asking for a lot right now. And they still can't get shit.
And still can't get anything. I'm just like, and then what I
do, what I do find guys, they'relike, yeah, we're like, I'm down

(01:14:11):
for like a friends of benefits kind of situation.
Then they wind up catching feelings and I don't feel that
way about them. So then I have to end it because
I don't want to string them along like somebody and, and you
know, so I'm like, OK, well, that's not what I want out of
this. And, you know, and I was clear
about that in the beginning. So, you know, for, I think
everybody's sake, we should probably just like go our

(01:14:32):
separate ways. And it's just like.
Everyone out there just has their wires fucking crossed.
Yeah. And so, and then and then when I
do find guys are just like, you know, down to have sex or
whatever. God, the sex has just been so
disappointing. So, so disappointing.
There's been like, that's reallyunfortunate. 1 like.
Yeah, you're getting it, but like.
But doesn't really count when you're like that was it.

(01:14:54):
Oh. OK, well I give myself better
orgasms than that so. Yes, I got one, but it was
mediocre, even noteworthy. Yeah, exactly, Exactly.
And I think I've been with one guy since my divorce for the sex
was actually pretty great. But that's being generous

(01:15:15):
because I think I'm comparing them to all the other mediocre
sex. So it makes his sex look better.
So I just, yeah, I don't know. Because it sucks less doesn't
mean that it's actually better. Yeah, Right.
Yeah. So I was just like, OK, I just.
Yeah. Anyways, it just, it's just full
of disappointment. And I think whatever, I'm just

(01:15:36):
going to. Are you just gonna go to public
places? And that's all I do.
People are like out here trying to give me fucking dating
advice, you know, like, oh, well, do you go to bars?
Do you go to public events? Do you do these?
Do you do that? Yes.
She's always doing shit. She's always out.
Thank you. I am always out doing shit.
I'm always talking to people. I'm always meeting people.
I am trying to be like, as like friendly looking as possible and

(01:16:01):
just, it's like whatever I, you know, I'm trying to just focus
on like the shit that brings me joy, which is like the podcast
writing, reading, spending time at the beach, going out and
dancing, you know, go to the bar.
Are you still working on your book?
A little bit here and there. I haven't.
I haven't had too much time to really work on it because no,
not. Really.
Mostly focus on the podcast. And now that's we've gotten to a

(01:16:23):
place where we've got like a nice rhythm with that and things
are starting to kind of mellow out in my personal life as well.
Last week excluded. This last week excluded.
Yeah. I feel like things are starting
to kind of mellow out to where I'm like, OK, I could see myself
actually having time to start writing because I would do that
too, where I'd take my laptop and I'd just go to like a park
or restaurant and I would just listen to music in my earbuds.
And I would write for a couple hours while I have like a

(01:16:44):
cocktail or eat some food or something.
And. And I love that.
And granted, you know, yeah, I'mout in public when I'm doing
that. And people likely aren't going
to approach me if I'm on my laptop writing, You know,
they're probably, oh, she's busy.
I don't want to disturb her. Disturb me please like.
Put a little sign up. I should put a sign.
I just think of that. I should put like a little
sticker on the back of my laptop.
I was like, feel free to interrupt.
Yeah. I.

(01:17:07):
Know, Oh, you could have, if youreally did that, you could have
so much fun with it. Get a little, you know, the the
little easels, I guess you know how Sidney does the the small
paintings. Get that.
Like get a couple of them or something, line them up, put a
little message. Well, that's a That seems like a

(01:17:27):
lot of work. Not if you're having fun with.
It, I mean, yeah, that's yeah. Get it even just one of those.
Feel feel free to to talk to me.Do like AI could just do like a
custom sticker, you know, go on to sticker mule and just like
create like a custom sticker. I actually could just make one
myself because I have a cricket is.
Well, there you fucking go, Lindy.

(01:17:49):
Fucking make myself a sticker toput on the back of my laptop so
when it's open it just says feelfree to interrupt and say hi.
Yeah, like do I need to walk around with like AT shirt that
says? I don't know why.
Hi I don't know why I'm picturing you in a library.
With all of this and I just pictured you like tying a
balloon to the table at leg or something.

(01:18:11):
Just basically doing everything I can to point arrows at myself.
But you know, just in a in a notso subtle fun way, I.
Was going to say a balloon. Not very subtle.
No, I was going to say and then I also had.
That thought, not very subtle atall.
You get streamers. Oh my gosh, Piper posted this
picture of me for Mother's Day and it was like such a fucking

(01:18:33):
throwback. It was like 2009.
It was a shirt that I'd made. I'd fig blindness to touch your
body inappropriately because I was like, this is so great.
And I'd made that shirt. I would wear it out to the bars.
That's really fun. I like that.
Yeah, it was pretty fun. But I'm just like, do I need to
make, like, another shirt that'sjust like, you know, inviting
people to come up and talk to me?

(01:18:54):
Apparently you've tried other things.
Try that. I know every Wednesday, go to
the same spot, wear that shirt. They're like, damn.
Every time I see her, she's always wearing this shirt.
Maybe I should actually go talk to her.
Maybe she actually means what's on her.
Shirt She's pretty consistent with this.
It can't be a fluke. Right.

(01:19:15):
It's every Wednesday, 1:00 PM. Same table, same shirt.
Even her laptop has a sticker that says good.
Talk to me, I'll put I'll put a sticker on my laptop and then
I'll make myself a shirt to wearwhen I go out to the bars.
There you go, Bring some homemade pastries.
Oh my God. It's like a fundraiser.

(01:19:35):
Really just trying Hard Out Here.
So funny. Fucking girl.
I'll give you a talkie. You want a cupcake?
I'll make you a cupcake. Do not listen to me, I'm on OH.
My God, you guys so aggressive. You like wait until like it's

(01:20:00):
called passion, like bribery andthen desperation and then just
like. Do you want to cook?
You'll make you a cupcake. I'm fucking friendly.
Somebody talk to me. Crying a little.
Oh my God, yeah. So listen to me.

(01:20:20):
It is hard for me being an extroverted person.
So I'm like, I like to talk to people.
You know, I like hard to be an extrovert.
No, I'm saying so friendly that's.
Not what I mean. I mean, as an extrovert, it's
difficult to go out and like be such a friendly person and want
to talk to people and not and have like guys talking to you.

(01:20:41):
Like women come up to me and talk to me all the time.
It's fine. And if I'm standing at the bar
getting ready to order a drink, I'll strike up a conversation
with. Whoever's talking are the
friendliest. Yeah, and I'll strike up a
conversation with whoever's standing next to me.
Male, female, it doesn't fuckingmatter.
Like I'll, I'll talk to whoever,but I just, I just, I don't
know. It's like, you know, introverts,
you know, it would be like difficult for like introverts if

(01:21:03):
people are constantly talking tothem, right?
They're like, this is a lot. So for an extrovert, it's really
difficult when people aren't talking to them.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm trying to say.
OK, I so I'm like. Thank you because I was not
computing. Like I believe stand, I need the
social interaction. Like I want to talk to people.
Even if you don't want to fucking date me, like fucking
whatever, just have a conversation.

(01:21:24):
Like I'm just down to talk to people.
I just want to talk to people. That's how you.
Recharge it is how I recharge. And so it's just it's hard and
sometimes like I'll even check out guys.
I'm like, OK, cool. And I'm like watching them.
Are they with somebody? And it's like, I don't know, is
that their girlfriend? Is it their sister?
Is it their friend? I don't fucking know who it is,
you know, and I don't want to beoffensive and go and like talk
to this guy and it's like, oh, actually this is my wife.
I'm flattered. Thanks, but fuck off, you know?

(01:21:46):
And so I'm just like, which I will still tell a guy if I think
he's attractive. I was like, hey, I think you
look really great. I love your shirt or whatever,
you know, And then if they want to like have something go on
from there, I'm basically like leaving it the door open for
them to start a conversation. If it doesn't happen, then I'm
like, OK, cool. I'd move on.
You know, so I can't carry the whole I can't do it all.

(01:22:07):
You guys like you have to fucking actually like you have
to share the load here. Like you have to do the work.
You also have to do work like I can't do it all.
Yeah, I can't date me for you. Come on.
Yeah. Anyways, for me, the all, all of
the last two days, I'm like, I'mgood on the socializing for a

(01:22:30):
couple weeks. Wow.
I'm I pay a lot of money to havethe home that I have.
I wanna be there. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Plus my dogs. Plus, yeah.
And me, I'm just like, OK, you know, I could probably go 2
weeks without going out, but I'mlike, OK, I need to do some kind
of event. Yeah, I need to do some kind of
event. I need to be around people and

(01:22:52):
just like, kind of having a goodtime.
Piper's friend actually sent me a virtual flyer for a rave up
near Portland that is in the woods in an abandoned Boeing
747. Yeah.
That sounds awesome. Yeah, I think it would be really
fucking awesome and I need to check it out a little bit closer
because it's limited room so. Yeah, planes are only so big.

(01:23:16):
Yeah, which is funny because they show people dancing
outside. So I'm like, are the woods
small? Like why is there a limited
number? It's.
Actually in someone's backyard. So, so they're like, it's just
limited parking. I'm like, OK, well, so carpool
bitch. Like what?
Park a mile down the road and walk.
Yeah, exactly. I mean, I'll get there early.

(01:23:38):
I ain't trying to walk in the woods in the dark by myself.
No, absolutely. Blair Witch Project fucked up a
horror. Movie in the fucking making.
I've seen that movie before, right?
Of a matter of fact. Yeah, A.
Few, A few have shown me that nothing good happens in the
woods at night. When you're alone.
When you're alone, even when you're in a group.
Yeah, basically nothing good happens in the woods.
Yeah, at night in the dark. So just everybody stay where all

(01:24:01):
the lights are and where the mass public is.
OK, That's the only way to DJ. Don't wander off.
Do you want to go? I'm like, wait, I'll start to
actually freak me out a little bit.
It started fun and now it's not.Feeling so fun.
I don't. Know if I want you?
To go. I'm like actually.

(01:24:22):
Keep an hair tag on you, sew it into some clothing or.
Something right? Sew it into my underwear.
Oh, amazing. Well, we at least we do have
that burlesque show. Yes, June 8th.
Yeah, Thank you. Yes, that'll be fun.

(01:24:44):
This is a crazy ass burlesque show.
It's. Kind of like circusy dark.
Arts, but it's also happening ata winery, which is so fucking.
Weird. That's not something that.
You don't feel like those two genres or things go together.
They don't really overlap. Ray, It's like a square in a
circle. It's like you're trying to make
it fit and it doesn't. And so I'm just like, my mind is
still just kind of like, huh. Most almost completely naked

(01:25:09):
ladies and a large snake and fake.
Blood, a lot of titties and yeah.
Pussy patches, How do they fucking stay on there and they
don't fall off? I don't understand.
Me either. I am very curious about.
Yeah. And then and then.
Classy joint with wine and mood lighting in a view.

(01:25:29):
Like what? I mean, I like it.
It's very I definitely. Want to see what it's going to
be like but I'm just very confused.
Right. Is it going to be outside?
Is it going to be inside? Yeah, I just both, Yeah.
And I've been to this winery before, so I've been trying to
figure out where the fuck this is going to be.
Yeah. Right.
Because I've been there with you.

(01:25:50):
Yeah. Yeah.
So I'm like the the most space they have is outside.
So I'm like, is it outside? Like these women are just OK,
whatever. But I just.
I'm confused. It's it's interesting.
Yeah, whatever. It's still going to be great.
I mean, great marketing for the winery, you know, because
they're going to need it. Geez.
They're no, they're one of the most.

(01:26:10):
Popular ones here, but, you know, standing out.
Yeah. I've never heard of another
winery. Having a burlesque show.
No, ever. Especially ones with snakes and.
One of those it's funny so they're doing another show the
weekend prior to that, but that is at the bar that we went to
last night, the really crowded 1so that's where the and that

(01:26:32):
that tracks That makes sense to me Yeah right.
Like that's downtown. It makes sense that scene.
Absolutely. But then the next weekend is at
a winery and I'm just like, they're.
Trying to find the the closeted freaks and bring them out right?
Something maybe you guys will feel safer if we're not in town
and we take it out of town a little ways, you know, right.

(01:26:53):
Maybe it's a little your cars, Yeah.
Oh, we're just going to a winery.
Exactly. Exactly.
Yeah. Nothing crazy happened to a
miner. Burt Row.
Oh, my God. I just wondered like, are there
gonna be people there that are going just to drink wine and
like what is happening right now?
I feel like they'll be like, youguys, this is like a closed

(01:27:15):
event tickets only I feel like because what is like random
people showing up and they're like what is happening right
now, right. And having two different crowds
there. I don't, yeah.
It has to be super sophisticated, like 60-70 year
olds somethings, you know, they're just all wine snob and
you know, whatever, pinky up drinkers.
And then you have all the peoplethat are down for burlesque and

(01:27:38):
wanted to see naked women with titty tassels and like snakes.
Patches and snakes. Yeah.
Honestly, I don't even know whatthose things are called, but I
like calling them a pussy patch.I feel like it's a great name,
you know, It describes it beautifully.
It really does whatever you're picturing.
That's it. That is it.
But bejeweled. Bejeweled to me, of course, is
bejeweled. Yes, it's very pretty and

(01:27:58):
sparkly. I just picture.
Like if it's not a closed event and anyone can show up for wine
that the first time that a lady drops her dress and just these.
Teddy tabs swinging. It's the devil, It's the devil.
What's happening? The chair made me cover your.

(01:28:22):
Ass it just made. Me think of the water boy and
how his mom is always like, Here's the devil, Bobby Boucher.
Oh my God. But she showed me her titties,
and I like them, too. Or he says boobies.
Yeah, that was yeah, I'm excitedfor that.

(01:28:43):
I know we do have a lot of stuffcoming up.
I think it's well, and it's alsojust spring and summer's about
to be here, so there's just a lot of more things to happen
outside. And I'm.
Yeah, I'm very excited. And then my youngest graduates
high school in like the day before the show.
Yeah, yeah, two days before the show, but.
Yeah, I'm really. Yeah.
So it's just there's a lot happening.

(01:29:04):
I'm very excited and we have ourmud run coming up and it's just
OK. I'm so not ready for that even
now. It's going to be yeah, it's
going to be fun. It's a lot of stuff happening
that's that's only just going toJune.
I know that's like the beginningof June.
Well, actually, I guess the run is at the end of June, but yeah.
I can't fucking wait until Gavin's work schedule is
different and. He can actually participate in

(01:29:26):
this shit with us, yeah. Because like, I want to do the
mud run with him and he wants to, I want him to go to the
burlesque show with us, but he has to work and he has to work
for the mud run. Like all the stuff that we're
doing, he has to work and it's bullshit it.
Is and it sucks because all those things land on a Sunday,
and if they were on a Saturday, he could actually go yes, which
is even more fucked. Yeah, It's like a fucking tease.

(01:29:49):
Yeah, it really is. It's because I'm like, I want to
do stuff with Gavin also. And so I'm like, because I feel
bad. I'm like, hey, do you want to go
do this? Do you want to go do this?
And it's like, OK, well, Gavin can't come.
I'm like, well, that's what the fuck I know.
And then last night he could have like, he wanted to go with
us, like to the concert and evenout to the bar.
But then he wasn't fucking feeling well.
Like Oh my God, universe. Right.

(01:30:12):
Give us a fucking break already.Hang out with my boyfriend in
public. I swear I have a boyfriend.
Fuck yeah, he's not just a figment of my imagination, I
promise. Like, Are you sure you have a
boyfriend, America? Has nobody's seen you with him?
Yeah, no shit. Like, ever, you know?
And honestly, it'd be his preference.
Wait, that nobody's seen you guys together?

(01:30:33):
No, it was to be a closeted boyfriend.
If he didn't have to go out in in public and be around large
crowds. I know you guys and all that.
Introverts. Yeah.
We like. We like.
Small gatherings. We like intimate gatherings.
Well, Piper and I have a theory that a who was it?
Ella Fitzgerald, I think, and was like, I hate small

(01:30:57):
gatherings. There's they're just, what is
it? I say I hate small gatherings
because they're not very private, you know, but like
large crowds, those are much more intimate.
And you think about it and you're like, yeah, that's
totally right. Because if you're in a group and
you only have like maybe 10 people there, everybody knows
what you're talking about. But if you're in a group of 50,
all those people are broken up having their own conversations.

(01:31:18):
Everybody's talking, but you're not hearing everybody's
conversation, even though you'reall in that same room.
So it's much more intimate and private in that way and which I
really love. And I love that vibe of like
being able to have like a conversation with somebody, but
still being around a lot of people.
But then obviously I know like, for introverts, they're like,
no, no, small crowds, small crowds.
That's that's where it's at, youknow?
So yeah. And I get down.

(01:31:40):
With both, but we both like large crowds, like, you know,
like go into a concert and everything.
Like we both like that. But you know, we're also good
with just having a few family members or friends or whatever
and having fun together in that way.
Yeah. And being able to leave whenever
the fuck you want, love. That yeah, yeah, you guys seem
like you'd probably be the kind of be like, sneak out quietly.

(01:32:04):
Depends on the setting how well we know.
Everybody. Yeah.
If you know everybody well enough, you're going to go make
your rounds. Say goodbye.
No. No.
You're going to be like getting up by.
No, I'll like if it's, you know,we're having a game night or
something and just be like, OK, we're leaving.
Love you all. Bye.
Yeah, that covers everyone all at once.
And I can leave when I fucking want to leave.

(01:32:24):
And it's not. It's been 20 minutes of saying
bye to people. I want to leave.
Yeah. No, it's just a loud
announcement. See you fucking later.
Love you all, bye. I want to go get into PJ's and
be in my bed. Right, I do want somebody to
cuddle up with. I do miss cuddling.
Me too. Like I just want to like.

(01:32:50):
That was a slow burn. A second.
Then I was like, oh, my heart hurts for you because you have
somebody you could cuddle with. You just don't get a cuddle with
him. Yeah.
Opposite work schedules. It was like, but I was thinking
of like one of my favorite things is like about having a
man is like nestling under theirarm up against their chest with
like my head right there. It's the.

(01:33:10):
Best fucking spot. I just love it like you can hear
their heartbeat and your hand ontheir on their chest and just Oh
my God, your leg kind of wrappedover their waist.
A. Little bit just like it is
pressing like your forehead and your nose kind of into their
neck a little bit. That's my favorite.
Why is that so? Fucking perfectly it it truly is
it just fits it's like it was made for that it was that spot

(01:33:32):
on them was made for a woman's head to be there snuggled Uh
huh. Exactly.
No one can convince me otherwiseme either because it's it's a
bodily function No, that's not it That just it's a perfect fit
yeah. It didn't have to be that shape.
OK, Yeah. To to do the same thing.
It didn't actually have to be that shape.
That shape on the side was made for a woman's face to just like,

(01:33:53):
Nestle up to. Yep.
And breathe in deep. Let me just go off to La La Land
in my fantasy of cuddling with an imaginary guy.
Well, to bring it back up a little bit, you want to play a
game. I do want to play a game.
Let's do something funny. Let's play a.
Fucking game. My titties are so sweaty.

(01:34:22):
We got warm in here, all right, all right.
Go and play, put a finger down. All right, so y'all get ready to
play this with us and you know, feel free to shoot us the DM and
let us know how many fingers youended up with.
Mm hmm. You don't have to divulge
anything else. No, we we just want to know how

(01:34:43):
we how we stack up and compare to you.
Yeah. Are we more or less of a
degenerate than you are? More or less of a freak.
Do tell, do indeed. Inquiring minds and all that.
Yes, tut tut. Well said, Charlie, Well said.
All right, put a finger down if you don't have a gag reflex.

(01:35:06):
I absolutely have a gag reflex so.
So do I Are we doing 5 fingers? Yeah, 5 fingers.
I wish I did. I wish I didn't have a gag
reflex. No, that'd be great.
Yeah, we. Just practice it's.
Can you practice your gag reflexaway?
The Yeah, porn stars say you can.
I think so. I mean, you could how do you get

(01:35:28):
better over time and you? Just, but it's a reflex.
Yeah, but you can kind of control you can.
Can you not feel when you're about to gag on something like a
Dick? I can't, so can I?
And then I I'm like, pull it away.
Well, yeah, then you leave it there and you try and control
that. Yeah, that's how you get better.
Yeah, I know there's actually like dildos specially made for

(01:35:51):
training gag reflex. Well, there you're fucking.
Isn't that crazy? It's got like a bite guard, so
just like deep throating it and you just bite it until you're
like ready to take it off of like, yeah, I'm good.
I don't. I don't.
I have a toothbrush if I really want to.
Yeah, practice. I don't need it that bad.
It's fine. Yeah, I manage all.
Right. Well, I'm still at 5:00.
So am I OK? Put a finger down if you've

(01:36:12):
watched porn with another person.
Yeah. OK.
Seriously, is there anybody thathasn't?
Yeah. I feel like if you haven't, you
just. It's because you've just never
watched porn. Yeah, I remember in high school
I was hanging out with like 3 or4 friends and we had started
joking about it and then someoneactually put porn on and then we

(01:36:34):
were all just hanging out just like, huh, we're watching porn
together. Uh huh, it was like 70's porn.
Or was it like newer? Oh, I don't remember.
I think it was newer. It wasn't yeah, yeah.
It was just kind of, it wasn't like sexual or anything in the
room. It was just kind of like a,
yeah, there's that's porn on theTV, All right?

(01:36:56):
It is OK. We we all just did that
together. Right.
No, I've totally had an experience like that where he's
like just like a group of friends, like multiple people,
not just like 3 people, like multiple people hanging out in
the living room. And then I don't even know how
it happens. No one does.
It just happens. It happens.
Like you're talking about something and it leads to that
and the next thing you know, there's porn on the television

(01:37:17):
and now there's like, you know, 8 of you sitting in the living
room awkwardly all watching porn.
You're like, I don't even know how to react to this right now
because I'm kind of turned around but like how?
Also really weird. How long do you look at the
screen before it's like I'm too interested in this for the
setting and like. Right.
I know it's just a very weird vibe, but it's also just kind of
funny. Yeah.
And then then you have people who are, like, just super

(01:37:39):
nervous. They gotta like, crack jokes and
make comments and like, OK, now you're trying too hard.
So now it's even weirder. Now I'm actually uncomfortable.
And I mean, I've, I've watched it in a in a romantic kind of
setting and even that was a little strange.
I was like, I don't know how to it's I don't can we turn this
off and we just fuck? Yeah, yeah.

(01:38:00):
Just strange. Yeah.
I like it more in the setting of, it's not necessarily porn.
It's just watching like, you know, like 50 Shades of Grey,
you know, watch something like that where it's actually a
movie, but there's like some hotsex and you're like, Oh yeah,
afterwards, can we go fuck? Like, I'm pretty turned on right
now and I want to, I want you totry a couple of those Christian
Grey things, please and thank you.
I will get on my knees. Ready for you, Sir.

(01:38:23):
All right. Put a finger down if you've
suffered from severe leg cramps while doing it and had to take a
time out. Absolutely, man.
Not necessarily the leg, but like that hip.
Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, That.
I've had that. I've had that happen.
I haven't had that happen recently in my life.

(01:38:44):
Like that was years and years ago that I had that happen.
But yeah, where your hip flexor just kind of spazzing just like
yeah, no and. You're just like, oh God, help
me get off of you real quick. And you're in that weird
position trying to strict your leg out and you're just like,
oh, any second now, kind of rubbing it out.
Oh yeah, it's so sexy. Yeah.
So I'm down to three. Yes, also down to three.

(01:39:06):
OK, put a finger down if you have been paid.
Yeah, I. Have been paid, yes.
I had to read this. I make sure I was reading right.
Put a finger down if you have been paid for sex.
As a joke, but not seriously. I was going to say no, but I've
also been paid for sex as a jokeby my partner.

(01:39:29):
Yeah, no, exactly a joke. And I also playfully paid him
for sex. Oh yeah, I've definitely been
like. Afterwards, like throwing like a
dollar on his chest, I'm like, thank you.
I've done it to where like aftereverything getting up to go pee,
I like I left your money on the dresser for you as I go to the
bathroom, like I'm not coming back.

(01:39:51):
I'm going to say half a finger on that because yes,
technically. But as but also not technically,
yeah. Not as profession, yeah.
So I'm going to say. 3 1/2. 2 1/2 or. 2 1/2 yeah. 2 1/2
fingers. That's how math works, yeah.
Right. Fuck off.
OK, anyways, go. Put a finger down if you're part

(01:40:12):
of the Mile High Club. No, no, I want to be, but I feel
like it's even harder. You got to be on like a really
big plane or a private jet or something.
I feel like that's even harder to do.
And honestly, yeah, I have been in those restrooms and every
time I go in it, I'm like, how do people fuck in here?
Right. They're.
Tiny. They're so like, not spacious
you. Can barely fit yourself in
there, Yeah, Let alone two people.

(01:40:33):
And then try to maneuver a fuck.Like, you're kidding me.
I don't even know how you do that.
They're not as big. Yeah.
And honestly, is it even worth it?
Yeah, probably not. Yeah, OK, Put a finger down if
you've had sex in three or more different countries.
No, I've never left the United States.
Yes, the United States, Canada and Mexico, all of North

(01:40:59):
America. I've covered it perfect.
OK, so now I've got 1 1/2 fingers.
Yep. OK, put a finger down if you've
had sex in a classroom, no. No.
No, I didn't start being a sexual deviant until after I
graduated. Yeah, I've done it at work when

(01:41:22):
I back when I had an office. Had sex at work.
Yeah, and in the bathroom at work.
Very nerve wracking, let me tellyou.
Yeah, even after hours, I kind of, yeah.
But I feel like that's kind of like the thrill of it, though.
Oh, it is, absolutely. Yeah, and that's that's one of
my sexual fantasies. Like, I totally want to have sex
in a public place like that. It would be hot.

(01:41:45):
And just like the nerves and just like the risks.
You gotta like, you know, like, you can't.
There's no fucking around. Like, get down to business, you
know, and just, like, feel like that thrill and like, the
anticipation and anxiety and stress and all of it is just
like how the energies are just fucking on edge, you know?
I'm like, I just think it would be really hot.
Yeah. Lucky.
So what are you at now? I'm still at 2 1/2. 2 1/2 Wait

(01:42:07):
you didn't have to put a finger down for?
That. No, that's at a classroom.
Oh, right. Oh, right.
Right. Yeah.
OK, Put a finger up. Oh.
If you have kept a list of people you've hooked up with,
OK. I know we both have because we
were just comparing our list. Sure, we're so.
I meant 3 1/2. I meant 2 1/2.
Well, shit. Thanks for calling me out.

(01:42:28):
Right. Yeah.
We're not going to talk about that, though.
No, we have a list. That's all you need to know.
Nope, didn't even need to know that.
I didn't want anyone to know about that besides my sister.
I barely wanted her to know. Fuck this game.
All right, put a finger down if you use Lube more often than
not, Nope. No, I rarely use Lube.

(01:42:49):
Yeah, I mean, unless you're doing a bunch of anal or you
just don't. Make or hate?
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
I'm. I'm good.
Still at 3 1/2. See, Yeah, so I was at 2 1/2.
Yeah, I'm I'm happy. I'm definitely, I'm like wop.
Yep. Mm, hmm.
Wop. OK, in a bucket.

(01:43:09):
I mean what I said to your card.No said that it just reminded me
there was a guy on Tinder. His profile.
Oh, I, I might have screenshotted it, but I don't
know. But anyways, I he basically was
like just looking for somebody to have fun with.
I'll bring the mop and bucket. And I was like, Oh my God,

(01:43:31):
fantastic. I love that so much.
Like just the humor of it made me want to match with him.
It's like, it's just funny. I love that.
So yeah, anyways, it's. Kind of like a good joke.
Yeah, same. OK, put a finger down if you
have gone down on someone or vice versa while driving.

(01:43:51):
Yeah. Yeah, I've absolutely given
somebody head while. They don't drive head.
I I've never had anybody go downon me while I'm driving.
I don't. Think as a woman, it's really
possible. No.
Well, you can get fingered whileyou're driving.
Yeah. Like having somebody go down on
you while you're driving. I don't think that's really like
a thing unless you're like in a self driving Tesla, Yeah.

(01:44:13):
And then are you driving? Yeah, because you're not even.
Doing it. Yeah, exactly.
OK, so. Should I put a finger down?
Yeah, what am I at? I've lost count.
I'm at 1 1/2. So then I'm at a half a finger.
Yeah, I'm at 2 1/2. I have one less than you.
Yeah. So I'm.
Oh, so I'm 1 1/2 then? Yeah, and I'm 2 1/2.
Is that generate? Yeah, God, I need to keep better

(01:44:34):
track, OK? Yeah, use your fingers.
I was, but I forgot so now I don't know where I'm at.
OK, so go. Put a finger down if you've
hooked up with a local while travelling abroad.
It's on my bucket list. I've never left the country, so
Nope. Yeah, definitely on my bucket

(01:44:55):
list. But no, I've I've never done
that. Oh yeah.
It is a bucket list item though that I hope to fulfill very,
very soon. Yes, I hope you do.
I know I make that joke. I'm like, I plan on fucking my
way through Europe and everybodytell it's all women mostly, but
some guys were like, I really want that for you.
Like I, I want that for you and I'm like, I also want that for

(01:45:18):
me maybe. I'll find the and be able to put
the finger down on that. Part, I know, actually, maybe
I'm mostly just hoping like I'llfind the love of my life at some
point, you know? Yeah, I don't think he's over
here. I don't think he is either.
I think he's I think he's abroad, yeah.
It's not like abroad like like awoman, just like Dame abroad
the. Dime piece on the other side of
the. Atlantic, You know of an

(01:45:38):
England? No, he's not in England.
I know he's not in England. He's somewhere in Europe,
though. I don't know where I'm going to
find him. What's your card?
I'm going to find him. I will find him.
Oh God, the way you just looked at me.
She was looking down at her cardand then when she said that she
slowly turned up and made this intense eye contact at me.

(01:45:59):
Because I will. Oh don't worry.
Her one eyebrow. OK, put a finger down if you've
done it in a hot tub. All right, I'm at half a finger.
No, that was like one of my first sexual experiences,
actually. And no, I didn't get a UTI from
it, actually. But I did learn that sex in
water not awesome, no. It's no no, I for sure fingered

(01:46:22):
someone in a hot tub and I can'tremember if I've actually had
sex in a hot tub or like like the legs were in the water and I
was out or if we ended up just getting out.
I'm not sure. Yeah, I absolutely have had sex
in a hot tub, but I was sitting on his lap like my back to his

(01:46:42):
chest. How do I count that then if I'm
not sure? If you're not sure, I feel like
it didn't happen. OK, so two and a half 3 1/2
fuck. Yep, I just gave you shit for
this. I know that's what I'm saying.
I have to look at them again because I forgot.
Can we real quick I'm. Gonna pause OK after a quick
deliberation and break cap. Nikki, what is your number?

(01:47:05):
Half a finger. I'm in 2 1/2.
Shit. Also, while we were doing that
quick deliberation and recap, I also realize that almost all my
cards are the ones that we've done, and almost all of yours
are the things we haven't done. Yeah, So anyways.

(01:47:27):
But yeah, I. Think I did all that shuffling,
you know? So yeah, 2 1/2 for you, a half
finger for me, OK? I am clearly the degenerate this
round, OK. This week's.
Degenerate. Yes.
All right, How did you guys stack up?
Also let's keep note because I want to put this in the show.
Should we should start making? Making note?
Yeah, I got a. Pen right here.
I'll we'll do a little jot down.I love it.

(01:47:50):
OK, perfect, you guys. Well, thank you.
I hope this is fun. I hope it was entertaining.
If you guys have any like funny dating stories or just want to
like share your misery or even your successes and failures with
dating, we would absolutely lovethat slide in toward DMS and
Share your story. We would love to read that.
We would keep you anonymous. Obviously, we're not going to

(01:48:13):
divulge personal information. Like, no, absolutely not.
But we would love to be able to share your guys's stories.
So so why don't you write in, tell us what some of your And it
doesn't even have to be like dating apps, but just like some
of your dating fails and successes or like crazy things
that have happened or really funny things are embarrassing.
Things like you have to tell a story.
You can literally just just sendin a couple of sentences,

(01:48:35):
whatever, or even e-mail us, youknow, whatever is the most
convenient for your fingertips. Exactly, I was listening to this
podcast a while back and and they had somebody write in about
because they do a segment calledis this weird?
And one of their listeners had wrote in was like, I was having
sex with this guy and I was writing him.
I was on top of him and you know, everything's great.

(01:48:56):
We're having a good time. And then out of nowhere he's
like, get off me, hurry. And she's like, holy, like it
was really intense. She's like OK, shit.
Like she's like mid like fuckinggoing at it.
She gets off of him. He stands up, walks to the wall
in the bedroom, fucking Jacks like finishes himself, blows his
load on the wall, which also shesaid had pictures of his family

(01:49:17):
on it. Turned around, grabbed the
pillowcase that his pillow was in, wiped himself clean, put the
pillowcase back on his pillow, and then laid down.
Yes, it's weird. Yeah, it's fucking weird.
So. I'm having a hard time with
that, yeah. No dude, they they have talked

(01:49:40):
about this scenario over severalepisodes because it is so
fucking odd. Like what the actual hell?
I wonder if that guy's ever heard any of those episodes and
be like, oh shit, that's me right?
It's not that weird. It was like, yeah, but anyways,
so just to give you guys an idea, like it doesn't have to be
anything like that. I just want to know like, what

(01:50:01):
are your, what are some, you know, successes or funny things
or scary things or shitty things, just anything about
like, you know, your experience with dating.
I just I want to hear, I want tohear some stories.
I would love to share some stories on here.
Yeah, you can send it to you theour Instagram, the sauce boxed.
Send it to the GM sauce boxed. Yeah.

(01:50:22):
IG at saucebox or you can e-mailit, e-mail it to us at the
sauceboxpodcast@gmail.com. But just do, I mean really
honestly, like Instagram DM is fine.
That's pretty easy, but. Yeah, you can even send it to
the X. Yeah, however you want to do it,
that would be cool. You can find us on Spotify,

(01:50:42):
Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, Pod Chaser and Pandora.
And per usual, fuck Apple. That's not going to happen, you
guys. So just forgive us.
We're going to stop talking about it.
Yeah, so we're we're done. It's it's not a thing anymore.
So that's that's dead. Apple is dead to us.
You're dead to me. Yeah, anyways, next week we are

(01:51:03):
going to give you guys a couple book recommendations.
Oh my God I am so sorry if anyone bothered to re tender as
the flesh I I didn't finish reading it when I recommended
it. She would like to recall her
recommendation, truly. I will even recommend two to
make up for it because that was.Why, Why?

(01:51:23):
Why exactly are you willing to recall this recommendation?
Because I finished it yesterday because I recommended it before
I finished reading it. That was my mistake.
I will be making that fucking. One again, but within the last
like 40 to 60 pages of the book,there are like two or three
things that I put the book down and looked to Gavin and said, I

(01:51:49):
really wish I didn't read that. If I could just I, I'll never
read that book again. I, I mean, I already don't
really reread books unless I fucking love them.
But yeah, I can't believe I had to read those sentences with my
own eyes. Really fucking disturbing.
Yes, like I'm into horror but that is not it.

(01:52:13):
OK, it was like some next level shit.
Traumatizing. What's that?
The movie, the butterfly effect,there's a scene in there that's
pretty upsetting. There's similar things like that
in at the end of the book. So you know, I, I recant that

(01:52:35):
one. So just to put that out there,
I'm sorry mistakes were made. I feel like I needed to scrub my
brain and wash my eyes. So, you know, I'll do better.
That's so funny. Hey, you know what?
You win some, you lose some. There's probably people out here

(01:52:56):
going to. Be like yeah, fuck yeah it was a
wild bug Those were crazy, but Iloved it up until that point.
It does open the the space for really good conversations up
until that because it just got really fucked.
It did. It got so fucked, yeah, but.
You know. We'll do better.
Well, I will do a better. Book She'll make sure she's

(01:53:17):
actually read the books before she recommends them.
Yeah, yeah, Nikki so far batting1000 over here.
So you know we aspire to finish my books before I recommending
them. Yeah, I was like, maybe look
back at all the books that you you have read and and go go with
those. That might be a better idea.
I just wanted to throw that out there on the off chance anyone
that's actually read it from. Or was even considering reading

(01:53:39):
it. Yeah.
So, yeah. All right, so we will see you
guys again next week for episode17 and the last episode of May
before we get into June. So yeah, flying by.
I love this. We're just moving along.
I can't believe that this is our16th episode.
Wild. I know, I love it.

(01:54:00):
I know. I'm so excited.
All right on. Just like Forrest.
Right. Well, thank you guys.
As always, please feel free. We absolutely encourage you to
give us five stars on Spotify. If you listen to us anywhere
else that you can find our podcast, feel free to rate US
there. But Spotify really is the
biggest one for us. So if you could just give us
five stars there, that would be absolutely amazing.

(01:54:21):
It helps to get our podcast recommended to other people who
might be interested in this, so we would really appreciate.
It might be looking for us from the past, you never know.
Yes I know. God that still fucking blows my
mind that that is how he found me.
God that just makes me happy that our podcast was recommended
to somebody. That just what a full fucking
circle. Anyways.

(01:54:42):
So help the the more you interact with it, the more it
helps the algorithm. And the more people get a chance
to explore us and, and get exposed to us and you know, we
are, we have some really exciting things in the works.
So we are actually hoping to do some giveaways here in the
future. And stay tuned for that.
We're we're pretty excited. But yes, please, in the
meantime, go rate US, give us five stars.

(01:55:03):
We would like to get to at least20 ratings before doing anything
big. Yeah.
So we're not too far off from that.
No, we're not very possible to do.
And don't forget to follow us. We love having followers that
also help. So, you know, follow us and and
rate US. It takes literally like maybe 10
seconds to do both of those things.
So, yeah, don't be lazy. All right, love you guys.

(01:55:24):
We will see you next week. I hope you enjoyed yourselves.
And don't forget to, you know, let us know how you guys did on
put a finger down. Yeah.
All right. Are you a degenerate?
Let us know. Talk to you guys next week.
Peace.

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