25: Werewolf Vomit & Personal Pricing

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:24):
Hello. Hello.
Hello. How are you?
I am your bug. Yes.
Welcome back to the sauce box. Last week was a little bit wild,
wasn't it, you guys? I'm just greasy.
What is going on with this table?
Did you say are you just greasy?Yeah, I don't know, Slick.
Anyway, hi, I'm Samara. Yeah, I'm Nikki, we're sisters.

(00:51):
So you guys, slight change of plans, little announcement,
little tweak, Yes, So we are going to be reducing the amount
of times that we do the exploiting Sexual Flavors series
every other week was just reallyintense for us.

(01:13):
Just a little started feeling like a little like homework
wasn't wasn't big fan. Yeah, it was supposed to be
having fun. Exactly.
So we are going, we're still going to do it, but we are going
to push it back to once a month instead of twice a month.
So we'll still be bringing them to you guys, but we just want to
fit some other stuff in there too.

(01:33):
Plus, part of the reason that westarted this podcast was so we
could just like, sit with each other and bullshit and.
There's been a lot of research. There's been a lot of research.
As of late, so you know. Like, you know, I think we need
to take this down a notch. We need to make an adjustment.
Yeah, you guys can't be that horny.
I mean, maybe we could. Who am I to say?

(01:56):
What's your loins crave? Oh my.
Gosh. So because of that, this week we
are just winging it, just like last week.
Yeah, last week we kind of had atopic towards the end.
Yeah, I just, we're just gonna bullshit with each other and
bring you along with us. Feel free to feel free to chime

(02:19):
in. Gives her two cents exactly.
We'll have a pause for the audience to speak.
I love that. That's great.
Oh, my gosh. OK, so tell me about your week.
How have you been? Just work.
Always Just work. Nothing exciting.
No. To me.
You said you were floating in your pool like a dead person.

(02:41):
Share. Please share with the.
Class Yeah, so it was hot as balls all last week.
You know them balls be dripping sweat.
Yeah, they'd be clammy breath. They don't even slap anymore.
They just slap and stick like one of those sticky hands, you
know? So we have a regular donut

(03:07):
floaties for the pool, you know?And so yesterday I was sitting
outside with the dogs hanging out.
I was reading a little bit on the bench and I was like, it's
fucking hot, this sucks. So.
And I was just wearing a like a summer dress.
Yeah. Decided to take that off.
Just went into the pool in my underwear.

(03:28):
It laid down on top of the two floaties.
My arms were out, just straight out.
And I was laying face down. I was using one of the floaties
to like hold my forehead like aninch above the water.
So it was if anything happened, yeah.
Also, like a a very calm threat of drowning or aspirating, you

(03:51):
know, it's just like an inch above the water, you know, one
false movement. How much do I trust myself?
It's not a lot, not physically at least, but I was thinking,
man, if anyone came over right now and just walked in the back,
they'd probably think I was justdead because I wasn't doing
anything. Literally just slowly floating
around, bumping against the sides and moving.

(04:15):
But it was great. I had a lovely time.
Did it cool you off at all? Oh, yeah.
Oh, good. I mean, they're doing up
floaties, so I still had parts of me in the water.
I know. I just, you said two of them.
So I just figured you're like upper body and lower body each
on one. So what was it?
No, that's what it was. Fingers and toes were in the
water. Part of my knees or thighs and

(04:38):
my boobs. Just my tip tips.
My nipple tips. Did that actually cool you off?
Yeah. Oh, nice.
Because I had added some new water that was pretty cold.
That's pretty good. I'm kind of jealous that you
guys have a little pool now. I'm like, jeez, I feel like I
need to buy one. Just kind of surprised you guys

(05:00):
don't just to like, I mean, we used to get them all the time
when the girls were younger, youknow, because we're like summer
vacation. We were working.
So OK, we can't always take themto the water.
And so we would buy pools kind of like what you have, you know,
every couple of summers because when you got kids playing in
them all the time, they don't tend to last super long.
What? So yeah, we'd buy.

(05:22):
I just remember there. Yeah, every once in a while we'd
get done with work. We're like, bro, we're getting
in the fucking pool. Yeah, I mean, they're not super
exciting by any means, but it's if you want to cool off and
bring your core body temperaturedown to a safe level.
Yeah, it's it's relaxing just tofloat around.
I remember OK one year my ex andI had bought this pool and it

(05:47):
was it was a kiddie pool but notlike those hard plastic ones.
It was a hard plastic one. OK, but.
Oh yeah, it was. A little bit bigger, go off
motor. Like you know what, fuck it,
whatever, you know. I think it was like 30 bucks or
something. We bought it, we filled it up
with water and we're just like cracked open beers, sat in it

(06:09):
and just kind of like pushed ourselves around circle.
I love that, you know, we'd likesplash some water up on
ourselves, like BLOB, like cupping, cupping our hands to
like, you know, bring some waterup onto our bodies.
But yeah. I love that.
You know you have to do what youneed.
You have to do what you got to. Do sometimes.

(06:30):
Yeah. Honestly, before we bought this
pool I was joking with Gavin about just buying 2 kiddie pools
and those really low like beach chairs, holding chairs and just
each of us. Sit in our own kiddie pool and.
Just to cool off. I love that.
So much. But then we saw the the one we

(06:52):
got was actually pretty affordable.
Thank you. Bye Mark.
And I'm like, I mean, fucking might as well.
I know that's that's nice. I keep and then, well, then I
keep forgetting that you have a pool and I'm like, it's so hot.
And then you're like, you'll post a picture of you in the
pool and you're like, oh, I justgot out of the pool.
I'm like fuck, why don't I just go to Samara's and get in her
pool? Yeah.
Instead I'm like, I mean, I likewhere I go to get in the water

(07:14):
anyways, but I went out to Pisgah a couple times to go get
in the water there cuz there's like a really nice have you been
out there before? I don't know.
I've been to a few different areas.
Doesn't and that was before I actually knew the layout, yeah.
Well, maybe you should go with me one of these days.
But. I don't even like you.
Yeah, you do, bitch. Yeah, you're right.

(07:36):
Don't lie to the people. You're not a politician, That's
true. Anyways, yeah, it's really cool
because you you go down this trail past the Arboretum and
there's the what? The the Arboretum.
This sounds delicious. I'm like, wait, was I not saying
that right? No, I'm saying it right.
No, I've just never heard that word before.

(07:57):
What? Arboretum.
Yeah, hit me with one more time.Do a sultry this time.
OK, You walked on this trail pass the Arboretum and there's a
really cool Creek that goes thatflows through.

(08:19):
And there's an area where it gets kind of deep because for
the most part, I don't know, it's, it's shallow.
You can almost stand everywhere where you cross.
I mean, there's a few areas where it is deep and you can't
touch, but it's completely calm even though it is flowing water.
This particular area is just like a big enough pool that you
know when the the flow is gentleenough that it doesn't really

(08:41):
take you anywhere. That sounds lovely.
I usually go there and I just float on my back like I'm dead
and just see where. We're liking this trend between
us, yeah. See where the water takes me
float. On your back I float on my face,
you know I was. Like, OK, yeah.
But anyways, that place is really, really nice.
I love going there and the what was it?

(09:03):
Oh, Friday, Friday was really hot and I was like, you know
what, I'm going, I'm I'm going. I need to get out of the house.
I need to go see water. And I was going to go up to
proxy falls and go check that out because it looks really
beautiful. It looks so, so pretty.
But you thought you can't swim there.
There's not where anywhere to swim.
It's like, wade into the water maybe.

(09:25):
There's just like a lot of fallen logs and stuff.
And then the way the water comesdown over the like cascades over
a bunch of rocks, It's not like a a downpour.
It's like, 'cause it's pretty awesome.
Yeah. And then it goes down to and it
flows down into this porous lava, lava rock and then kind of
comes out porous lava, Yes. So anyways, so then Piper would

(09:50):
come and I was like oh. What are you doing?
And she was like, well, my friend is going to take us to
this secret spot to go swimming.And I was like, oh, what secret
spot can I see? And she sent me a picture and I
was like, oh, I want to go, can I come?
She was like, I'm sure it's OK, let me check.
Let me see if I can get you on the list.
Basically. And she's like, good news mom,

(10:12):
you've been approved. Did she actually say that?
Oh, I love it. I already knew I would because I
the two friends that she was going with absolutely love me
and I love them. I've known, I've known.
Them, I mean, pretty much everyone loves you, aw.
Thank you. I've known these two girls, as
Piper was saying on our way home.
Almost as long as I've known Piper, which obviously I hadn't

(10:35):
known her since she was in my belly.
But these two girls? She met them in second grade.
So it's like me and Caitlin and Nicole.
Yeah, that's cool it. Is I know so anyways, so we we
head out and it's out past Dexter, out past Fall Creek and
Fall Creek is such a beautiful area.
It really is God, Oregon's just gorgeous.

(10:58):
It is really beautiful. Here, you know when it's not on
fire. Yeah, or torrential downpours of
rain for nine months. Yeah, So we go up to this spot
and we have Piper's friend drives because she knows where
it's at. We don't know where it's at.
And she we get to this bridge and she stops and like pulls
onto like this little. I don't know, it looks like a

(11:20):
road, but it's not a road because it literally dead ends.
You know, it's probably 20 yardslong.
Like it's not very long, more like a driveway.
Yeah. It's like just a random dirt
dead end. And so we get out and she's
like, OK, you guys come over here.
She's like, this isn't, this isn't where like where you get
in. But I wanted to show you guys.
And she takes us over and it's like this cool, cute little

(11:42):
Creek or whatever, you know, flowing into a little narrow
waterfall between these rocks. And we're like, oh, yeah, that's
really pretty. She's like, yes, you can slide
down this, but you come off the waterfall into the water down
below. She's like, you guys want to do
it with me? We're like, can we, can we see
where we're going to land first?Like, yeah.
OK. So, so we go back, we cross the

(12:04):
road and we go down this kind ofsteep embankment under the
bridge and upstream just a little bit, and it opens up into
this absolutely stunning lagoon.Oh yeah, it is.
You're. Hitting me with all the fucking
buzzwords right now. It's so pretty.
It's a bunch of bedrock, you know, and you've got a whole

(12:26):
bunch of rock faces just right around you.
Just a nice, beautiful, you know, little Cove lagoon and
this super Pretty Little waterfall just cascading over
the edge. You're like stop it.
How is this place real? It's so pretty, it's so calm.
Not a lot of people know about it.
Doesn't sound like it. And the water, it felt so, so

(12:49):
nice. It was great.
So Piper's friend actually was like, OK, I'm going to go, I'm
going to go slide down the waterfor you guys going to go with
me. Well, the other friend had only
just learned how to swim like 2 weeks ago.
So she's like, I think I'm good.That's fair.
I don't. I don't feel quite confident
yet. Looking to die, but yeah, you
know. Exactly.
And I was like, I mean, you would be fine because she was

(13:09):
like, I want to do it, but I'm just not confident in my
swimming skills. I'm like, OK, well, this is a
really small swimming hole. I mean, if you're going to
potentially drown and at least you'd have three other people
around you, it was like we couldall we're all going to save you
and we're not going to anything to happen to you.
Plus, you know how to swim. I said if worst comes to worst,
just instantly float on your back.
Yeah, you'll be OK. Safest.

(13:29):
Thing to do, Yeah. I always tell my girls I'm like,
if you get tired when you're swimming or if you're like,
starting to have a panic attack,roll over onto your back and
just breathe and let let yourself kind of float there.
I was like, you'll be OK. It's a lot less scary than, you
know, facing, trying to tread water.
Tread water. Yeah, exactly.
I don't know why. Plus, it conserves a lot of

(13:50):
energy. It really does.
Yeah, so her friend, she's like,OK, I'm going to go do, are you
guys going to watch? We're like, obviously, duh.
They're like, I don't know how we're going to know that you're
coming down though, because we can't.
You can't see from where you getin up there, so you'll only just
see them right as they're comingover the waterfall.
And she's like, well, I'll throwmy towel down because she
wrapped herself in a towel. Like you're taking your towel up

(14:12):
there. And she was like, yeah, well
I'll just throw it down to you guys.
I was like, OK, cool, that's a good signal too.
So she's like, hey, you guys. And she like throws a towel down
and we're like, all right, cool.We all get our cameras ready and
we're like ready to record this and waiting and stuff.
And then you just kind of hear go and you just see your cover
on the corner just right over the waterfall down in the water.

(14:33):
And then I was like, that looks so fucking fun.
That sounds awesome. Yeah, it was.
It looked so cool. I didn't do it because I'm a
little bit of a scary cat. And I'm a little surprised by
that. That I'm a scaredy cat.
With that I I did you not ever jump off a a smiley rock when

(14:54):
you would never actually? No, that's not true.
Because I thought you had done it.
I think I did it once. But you know how long I lived
there before I ever jumped off of that rock.
I think I've only done it once. And I I made Glenn hold my hand
and we both kind of chickened out the first time.
And then we both did it and thennever again.

(15:14):
We're just like, all right. Yeah, no thanks.
I feel like I want to say that Ijumped off Smiley Rock, but I
can't say for certain. Like I feel like I did, but a
lot of times I would just swim at the bottom watching people.
Jump off. So I was like, there's something
like I'm good with heights. Like I don't get Vertigo.
Like maybe my hands start to feel a little weird, but I don't

(15:38):
actually get the physical Vertigo or anything.
But there's just something aboutthat spot because it's kind of
like a Cliff face. Yeah.
Over the Yakima River. And there's just, there's enough
rocks there that I know it's a good spot to jump.
Yeah. Because a lot of people do it.
Yeah. And it's a known spot to jump.

(16:00):
Yeah, and it's really deep. Right there.
Yeah. But my mind is like, my luck is
I'm going to jump off for the first time and I'm going to be
the one that breaks their leg ona fucking rock.
Oh my gosh, no, I did jump off of it.
I remember, I remember now. I did have sworn at least once,

(16:20):
yeah. Whether it was with the family
or not, I don't know, but I had to have a couple.
Beers to kind of calm my nerves a little bit.
I do remember jumping off of it and I was, oh, it took me
forever. So many people went and came and
went and came and went and I waslike, Oh my God, just.
Do it's like a time lapse and video of you just standing
there? Anxiously.
And there's just dozens of people jumping off this.

(16:42):
Cliff goes from bright afternoonsun to the dim lights of the
evening. You're still there.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
No, no, no. I'm ready.
I'm getting ready. It's gonna happen.
No, I'm doing it now. I'm doing it now.
No, I'm gonna just after this person.
Yeah. Oh, have you been waiting a

(17:04):
while? Go ahead in front of me.
Oh, you guys are together? Well, I don't want to break up
the friend group. Go ahead.
Exactly. Anything to push yourself.
Back Oh, actually I think I saw a bee over there and I'm a
little allergic, so I'm just going to make sure it flies off

(17:25):
when it's feeling a little too strong.
I don't want to be cold so much.I do remember it being really
fun. There was one time because I
would, we'd go to a Smiley Rock because I went to college there,
right? So we floated the Yakima all the
time and. I miss it so much me.
Too. I really, really miss it.

(17:48):
But we would go float it all thetime during the summer and we
always stopped off as Smiley Rock because everybody wanted to
jump off, you know, jump off theCliff face.
And I know, and I remember one time we're all standing up there
on on top of Smiley Rock, this like military chopper comes
flying by because, you know, there's the training facility

(18:08):
over near Yakima. Yeah.
And so they come flying over thethe Yakima and of course, all
and they're kind of low. And so all of us are like, yeah,
we're like, you know, waving them down.
Whatever. These guys literally come in
front of Smiley Rock, come down to about our level at the top of
the Cliff and just hover there. But and they're like, are you

(18:30):
guys got a job? And everybody was like, fuck
yeah it. They are now.
Yeah, people just started divingoff the fucking Cliff face while
these military guys just sat in their chopper while it hovered
right in front of. Them.
I mean that's cool as fuck. That probably would have pushed
me over the edge, but like I have.
To this is cool as shit. It was really fun, like a movie.

(18:50):
Yeah, they like had their phonesout and stuff.
Yeah, it was. It was pretty.
That's pretty tight. Fun, no.
OK, so one of the other places that's.
Really cool to go. Swimming at is Wildwood falls.
Have you even Gavin gone out there?
Don't think so like a Wildwood Falls is dope.
It's pretty popular. It's out past Cottage Grove

(19:10):
area, but it is a waterfall areaas well.
At the top. It's like very flat rocky.
A lot of people usually hang outup there with their kids because
it's really shallow and mellow and stuff.
So makes sense. So you'll have a lot of times
the families will be up top and then you'll have the more rowdy
people. I mean, sometimes the rowdy

(19:31):
people are, they're at top too, but just on the other side of
the waterfall. But there's a bunch, it's like
basalt columns. And so there's a bunch of little
kind of steps where you can kindof climb down, like natural
steps that you can climb down and people just jump off of it
into the big old pool of water below.
I still hate that. And, and it took me a long time
to do that. And that was not even a crazy

(19:52):
jump. I think I had had like two shots
of whiskey and a couple beers and I was like, OK, you know
what, fuck it, I'm doing it. This is not a good idea.
I've been drinking, but you knowwhat, fuck it, I've been
drinking. There you go.
So and so I jump in. I was like, holy shit, this is
so fun. And I would just like I kept

(20:13):
doing it like over and over and over and over and over and over.
She got her first hit. I did it was great.
I mean, granted, these random people were feeding me Jack
Daniels. So I mean, you gotta you gotta
do it for the people. That was also the very first
time that I threw up in from Steven.
Oh, that's flattering. Yeah, it was really
embarrassing. A day of firsts.

(20:34):
Yeah, I was like, we we were leaving and I was like, fuck, I
am so drunk because with the alcohol and then the sun.
It was. It was.
Intense and I remember I was like will you that was when I
had my white Mazda I might MazdaI.
Barely remember that but yeah, wow.
And I was like, you're going to have to drive.
He was like, yeah, no problem, no problem.

(20:56):
And he we get in the car, he starts it up and he starts to
back out. And I'm like, stop, I'm gonna
throw up. And he was like, really?
We moved three feet. Yeah.
I open the door and just lean out and puke my guts up.
And I'm just like, bro, I just started dating this guy not that

(21:17):
long ago. Like this is so embarrassing.
First impressions, yeah. And I remember talking to him
about it later and he was like, yeah, wasn't your finest moment.
You don't fucking say. I could have told you that.
Yeah, he was like, honestly, when I saw that, he was like, I
didn't think that you'd drink very much.
But then I was like, oh, OK, maybe she is a drinker because

(21:39):
she got really faded. He, you know, he was like, it
just kind of like you're just a conundrum because it seemed like
you would be like somebody who like partied a lot and, and
drank a lot. But then like now obviously I
know you and you hardly ever drink.
I was like, I just, you don't, Idon't know.
Like he's seen me throw up threetimes in like the 15 years that

(22:00):
we were together and, and one ofthem was when I was drunk and
the other two was when I was sick.
That's crazy. Gavin seen me throw up a lot.
Yeah, I like if I'm sick, you can come hold my hair back or
kind of gently rub my back or something, like, you know, or
put a wet rag on my neck or something, you know, like that's

(22:23):
cool. I'm down for that.
If I'm drunk, can you pretend like you didn't see anything?
If I'm drunk and I need to, if Ineed to throw up, I will go take
care of myself. Don't worry about it, I can mom
myself. Yeah, generally.
And that's the thing, usually I'll know if I'm going to throw

(22:44):
up my OK, I want to get away from literally everybody.
I don't want anybody to see me throw up.
So if we're in the woods, I willgo further into the woods.
Oh yeah, my mouth will start watering.
Well, my mouth would start watering and I'd be like, I'll
be back, start tying my hair up into a ponytail or a bun.
You're prepping as you're finding a spot.
Yep, as I'm walking away. So just doubling away, yeah.

(23:08):
And like, I would say we were somewhere with an actual
bathroom, you know? Yeah, prep the sink, start
running some water, get the toilet all ready, get comfy on
my knees. And then?
Just. Let it out.
Isn't that wild? I think that is crazy.

(23:29):
How like when you know, when youknow that you're going to throw
up, it just you don't want anybody around.
And well, I'm saying for girls and women, because guys, I think
I don't think they just don't give a fuck, right.
They're probably you covered this last week.
Yeah, right. They just don't care.
Yeah, they'll probably be cheering each other on.
Fucking not literally when I was.
Going to be. Patting their back like right on

(23:51):
bro. Here's another.
Beer here. Wash your mouth out with this
beer. Exactly.
But like women, we, we feel thatwe're like, we don't want
anybody to see us throw up. We don't want anybody to like
have that visual of us. But you get that sensation, you
feel it in your gut. Your mouth starts watering when
your mouth waters. Like we all know.

(24:11):
Like that's, that's the telltalesign.
Like it's, it's, it's gonna happen.
It's happening, it's happening. So prepare or don't.
It's gonna happen. It's coming.
But I've done that before too. Like what you were saying, just
go and find a spot. I'm like, OK, Yep, beer back.
And you walk away and you're putting, you're like swallowing
the saliva. You're putting your hair up.
You're like, bitch, not yet, notyet.

(24:32):
You get not clear. You fucking get into the stall.
You put the toilet seat up, likenot yet, get down and Yep, there
you go. It's like you have to like coach
your stomach like hold on. I will let you just give me. 4
seconds trust me, I'm also counting down stomach.
There's something about it whereis like just you keep swallowing
that spit and. This makes it worse.

(24:55):
It it's a good way for me to fight it because it's not
something like I could just stopand it's like swallowing the
sickness back down, but in a wayit's.
Like keeping it from coming up? Yeah, I'm just like, Nope, I'm
going to keep swallowing becauseif I'm swallowing, you can't
come up. Exactly.
I know it's. Oh God, vomiting sucks.

(25:16):
Oh, when it comes out your nose.Oh, I've been so like
projectile. Just like, super forceful.
Yeah, dude, I've been violently sick before.
Sorry everybody. This is just going to a gross
place. Mostly dudes.
Anyways, you guys can handle it.Yeah, you guys are fine, but
I've been violently sick before where it was just you stop

(25:39):
vomiting on long enough to gasp for air before it starts.
Oh my God, that's just coming out again like I have had I've
had it. We're like the worst stomach
cramps. Yes, I was just because they're
just constricting so fucking violently and I'm like, I am
fighting for my. Life right now.

(26:01):
You said that because I remembera few times where I was vomiting
very violently, very, very aggressively.
And I remember thinking I'm likeholy fuck while I'm vomiting I'm
like my abdominal muscles, I feel like they're literally
tearing apart. I don't think you guys could get
any harder. What the?
Fuck right, your spine is fucking rigid and just every.

(26:25):
Party, right? It's like your body is trying to
shift into a werewolf or something.
You're growling, clutching the toilet.
Bowl. Every muscle in your body is
fucking locked up intense. Your fucking hands are just
claws. That is the best fatality.

(26:49):
Ever. You've never been sick unless
you've been werewolf sick. Right, your body's trying to
transition. Truly, Oh my God.
But that's the worst, where it'scoming out of your mouth and
your nose and then. Your eyes are just watering.
You can't see anything. Everything's blurry.
You don't. You can't breathe.

(27:10):
That's the it's. Literally the worst where it's
like you know you have a moment of respite before the next wave
attacks. And literally a moment.
Yeah, but then you still have stuff in your nose or like, your
mouth isn't totally cleared. You're like, I might die.
Oh my God. I joke on my own vomit while I'm

(27:34):
trying to vomit. Embarrassing.
Pathetic. We got a human, are you?
Darwin, Take Me Out now. Natural selection, those are.
There have been times where because I've only really been
that sick maybe 3 times throughout my life, it kind of

(27:56):
seems like it's what it once a decade.
So I might be due for one soon. Oh no.
But where it's like you just you're, you vomit so violently
that it's like you know you're going to be fighting for your
life this time around. And so the time I was just
talking about, I was like panic searching with one hand for the

(28:18):
toilet paper. So for that moment of respite I
could like try and clear my noseso I could get some kind of hair
flow into my lungs, something. It is that is that is such a
crazy thing, man. It is so fuck crazy.
And the worst of it is always like once your stomach is
finally done trying to kill you and then it's like, you know

(28:43):
what, that wasn't quite bad enough.
I think let's let's see if there's anything else in there.
And then you're just dry heavingand like, Oh my God, the really
like powerful dry heaves that shit.
Yeah, because your, your abdominal muscles are already
tired. They're sore, maybe not even
fully released. I can't even fucking flex these

(29:04):
that hard. If I tried, I'm like, how did
you get this power right? How you know there was a some
medical condition where your, your muscles can can constrict
hard enough to break your bones?Yeah, that freaks my shit out.
Isn't that crazy, man? So I'm a lot stronger than

(29:25):
people think. Wow, I can flex my flex my
muscles so hard I can break my own bones.
You think you're tough? Watch this.
Bet you can't do this Jim bro. Who's?
Strong. Now who can take you to the

(29:47):
hospital? Stupid.
Oh my gosh, I remember one time because I don't like you.
I don't get sick very often. And I'm just going to thank mom
for breastfeeding us. I'm just going to say that was
probably the reason. Hell yeah.

(30:08):
I mean because it is proven thatbabies who are breastfed for at
least a year, 2 years is better,but at least a year their
chances of getting any kind of cancer drop like by 70%.
Holy shit. Yeah like it's massive.
Their immune system, the immune system of breastfed babies is

(30:28):
incredibly stronger than formulafed babies which is a lot of
times why formula fed babies areusually always sick and even
into adulthood. Like this is like the foundation
breastfeeding or formula feeding, setting the foundation
of the health of your child for the rest of their life.
Literally isn't that crazy? I did all this research about it
when I was pregnant with Piper because I knew I wanted to

(30:50):
breastfeed, but I really wanted to know like all the benefits
and all that. And yeah, it's it's very science
crazy. It's amazing.
But anyway, so I remember one time when Piper was probably, I
don't know, but she wasn't, she wasn't crawling yet, but she was

(31:10):
really young and I was so fucking sick.
And I just remember I'm like crawling out of bed with her.
And I like go into the living room.
I lay out a blanket, I lay on the couch and I just have her
with like some toys on the floor.
And I'm just like begging for mylife.

(31:31):
And then I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
I'm like, fuck, I roll off of the couch and I crawl on my
hands and knees with my head down to the bathroom and the
toilet is behind the bathroom door.
And so I have to get it. That is inconvenient.
And so then I get to the toilet and I have to position myself so

(31:54):
that I can open the door enough to be able to see through the
crack between the hinge. Yeah, the hinge side and the
frame so that I can watch my infant daughter and make sure
she's not dying while I'm tryingto survive.
To make sure you both don't die.And so I'm like vomiting in
there, you know, and she's just out there.
I see her, you know, laying on her tummy, playing with her

(32:16):
toys, you know, cooing or whatever.
And I'm just like puking my gutsup.
And then I'd, you know, get thatmoment of respite, lift my head
up, look through. I'm like, she's moving, OK.
And then throw up again. And then I remember crawling
back out to the living room, back up onto the couch.
I was just like, bro, you think being sick sucks?

(32:36):
Be sick with a baby that's like,hell, that sucks with nobody
there to help you. No, that, that is, that's hell.
That sucks. Yeah, No thanks.
Nobody's gonna go. Just nobody's getting you
chicken noodle soup. Nobody, you know.
Well, not in the thing. I, like, breastfed my kids,
Right. And so then that's the other
thing. She's hungry.
And I'm, like, so weak, I have to, like, try to pick her up.

(32:58):
I can't even put all the energy.Yeah, I'm like mustard, pick her
up onto the couch. So I roll over onto the floor on
her blanket. And I just like pop out a tit
and just like I hope she finds it.
It's like a beacon. She'll find it eventually.
Yeah. What a what a sight.

(33:20):
Rooting. I smell it.
I smell the milk. Where's it?
Yeah, if I I imagine. Have you ever have you ever been
so sick that you have like an out of body experience?
No. I say that in the sense of what

(33:41):
I. Give me more.
OK, so like I don't mean like a true out of body experience.
I mean more like you almost havelike a third eye peripheral,
like a third eye view of what you look like.
Like you can, like I can, just see like I can.
See them OK? Because when you have like your
memories, like you remember yourself and what you're seeing.

(34:02):
But for moments like that, when I'm sick, I don't know why, but
I can see myself on the floor. Your soul trying to leave your
body. That's probably why I Is this
it? Are we going?
Is it happening now? Why are you so eager to leave?
It's like a friend that's like trying to leave somewhere.
They're halfway out the door, like, are we, are we going?

(34:23):
Are we doing this right? Yeah.
Yeah, that's probably what it was.
That's probably my my soul trying to to leave.
That's rude, bitch. Why would you want to do that?
Thought you were happy here. Am I not good enough for you?
You don't like your home? Why am I crying like?

(34:49):
I didn't fucking choose this, OK?
Holy shit, we're both stuck here.
Like I didn't choose you either.Wow, not what we were talking
about. Are you freaked out by teeth at
all? Like if you saw like a wall of
teeth, you didn't know where they were sourced, sourced from,

(35:09):
but they were real. Like looking at him, touching
him. Wouldn't freak out, I wouldn't
touch them, but no looking at them or seeing it when gross me
out. Like those shoes that I showed
you that they are. That's right.
Had like the teeth, the soles and the shoes were teeth.
I hate it. I thought that was cool as fuck.
No, it doesn't gross me out at all.
At all. OK, what's something that's like

(35:30):
that that freaks you out? Like you, you don't even like
looking at at them or at it. Man, I I'm sure there's
something. For me, something that's worse
than looking at a bunch of teethlike that.
Maggots. I can't look at maggots.
Yeah, yeah. Freaks.

(35:53):
I can't honestly think of anything that grosses me out
like that. I think maybe not even gross you
out, but like, gives your body aheebie jeebie.
Your jeebies are heebied. You're just infallible.
Fallible. Fallible.
Fallible. Anything.
I'm sure there's probably something like.

(36:14):
Do any any? Textures that like no textures
don't bother me. Sticky, slimy, goopy kind of
stuff. Nothing.
What are you made out of? The fuck?
I love just Piper. I love Slimy, the Pipers that
she got, all of what you were supposed to have of having like,

(36:37):
things freak her out, maybe. I don't know.
Yeah, that's weird. I'm sure there was stuff that
like, freaked me out beforehand.But I'm telling you, dude,
motherhood fucking changes your shit up hard.
That's fair. Because there was stuff that
like, would gross me out and make me gag and now I'm like,
whatever. It's it doesn't whenever,

(36:57):
usually whenever the dogs feel sick or something.
Vomit. Vomit.
Is it the sight, the smell, all of it?
All of it, it's a sight and the smell I, I fucking I can't stand
the way vomit like and it doesn't matter if it's human or
animal. I who I struggle so fucking
hard, if I don't have to clean it up, I'm not cleaning it up

(37:20):
like somebody else could do it. I'm having a physical reaction.
I can't. No, I can't that that grosses me
out like the smell is. Oh, that is unique.
It is unique. It is potent.
It is very. Potent whenever the dogs start
feeling sick or because that's the only time that they ever

(37:42):
have accidents in the house is when they're not feeling well.
Which makes sense, obviously. And it's not like, mad at them
for it. No.
I mean, they do what they can tolet you know that they're not
feeling well. But if you're an asshole who
likes to sleep like me, you tendto ignore them.
Yeah, I woke up, I think it was Saturday morning.
Oh my God bro. Vomit or diarrhea?

(38:06):
Yes. Oh no.
Yeah, I don't know. No, I think it was Jackson
because he, I don't know what has gone into him over the last
couple of months. That woke you up.
Actually, no, it was because I had a pee.
But he's been doing this thing where he like bullies Brownie
out of her food and so he's eating double portions and so we

(38:32):
have to give Brownie some kind of additive so she actually eats
her food right away. But I woke up and there were,
let me count in my mind's eye 123456 maybe 6 or 7 spots that
were bile, puke, oh, diarrhea. Oh, and the largest shit pile

(38:58):
I've ever seen. Oh my God.
It was a fucking horror scene inmy house.
When I woke up, I was like, whatthe fuck?
And then it just kept going. You're like, there's work.
It was so fucking bad. And I, I know it was Jackson
because on one of the rugs that I had to spray off into the yard

(39:21):
and then wash, there was just partially digested dog food.
And I was like, well, that answers that.
That answers that fucking question.
We all know who inhales a food and who.
Choose their food. Yeah.
And, well, you know, if he had only eaten his portion of food,
it would have been been digestedby then.
So when it comes to stuff like that, like Gavin obviously can

(39:45):
suck it up and clean it, but he has a harder time with it.
And for me, I can just block outall the senses for it and I can
just clean it up. Like it's you cannot smell it.
You can just make your not yourself not smell it.
Yeah, I don't know what it is. You know what I do?
Mind control, not deal with it, no.
No, no. Because, you know, somebody has

(40:06):
to deal with it. And if you have to, like, clean
up vomit, it's like, OK, I go get a bunch of paper towels.
And then I take a deep breath and I hold it and I, I go over
to it and I just hold my breath.I refuse.
I will turn blue in the face like I'm cleaning it up, go
throw it away. And then I even turn my head
away from it, taking a deep breath, like, okay.

(40:30):
And just like, yeah, yeah, I just have to hold my breath like
I'm swimming underwater because I can't.
It's it's so hard and my gag reflex is so strong with that
smell that I like. I cannot be that person who
smells vomit and then vomits. Like making your problem worse.
Yeah, and I'm lucky that I'm notsensitive in that regard to
where, like, you know, when you hear somebody vomit that you

(40:51):
start gagging and vomiting because I know people like that.
Pipers like that. Oh, really?
Yeah. She is such a weirdo.
Like even as a kid when I would be changing Sydney's like poopy
diapers. She know where this is going.
She would be standing beside. Me watching me change Sydney's
poopy diaper gagging like just this five year old kid just

(41:13):
watching me and she's just like I'm like go away.
Why are you? I want to see why 'cause you're
you're going to throw up. Will you go away please?
But I want to watch like why I. Want to watch, I want, I want to
watch. Yeah, that was it.

(41:36):
What is wrong with you? I mean it tracks though.
It's still her personality today.
Something like gross her out much It's.
Like, yeah, like you're a littlefreak.
She is a fucking freak. Oh my gosh.
I swear to God. You know you didn't have
children, but Piper is so much like you.
It's it's wild. She's like my surrogate child.

(41:58):
Yeah, I mean, both of them are. But definitely, definitely
Piper. Yeah, yeah, as far as like the.
I did. I did some ground work there
when I came to live with you guys.
You really did. No, no.
I was like, one of them's going to have to be kind of like me
and Sydney didn't really take. And I was like, all right, Piper
it is. I think it's funny because I

(42:18):
remember when it happened when, you know, they say, oh, they're
the cool aunt or you're the cooluncle or whatever, and the mom's
just the meanie head. And then you moved away and the
girl's like, we want to see AuntSamara.
Aunt Samara is so cool, Mom. She's way cooler than you.
And I'm like, ow, excuse me? I raised that.

(42:41):
I gave you life. And also, yeah, she's fucking
cool partially because of me. I changed her fucking diapers,
too. Thank you.
It's just because I wasn't a parent.
Yeah, I know. Well, and you're just, you were
young, like, because what? There's 12 years between you and
Piper, right? Yeah, because I'm right in the
middle between both of you. Yeah, because you're 12 years

(43:04):
younger than me and you're 12 years older than Piper.
Yeah. It's a weird place to be.
I've got 1 foot on either side of the the fence, right?
Yeah. So I mean, you're just like at
that age where you can still kind of be cool to like Jen's
ears. Yeah, right on that cusp.
Yeah, Oh my gosh. I'm also I'm cool and I'm also
not cool. I went to a comedy show Friday.

(43:25):
Oh, who'd you see? I went and saw Natasha Legaro
and her husband Moshe. I can't remember his last name,
but so sounds familiar. Yeah.
I feel like a lot of people probably don't know her name,
but she is. She is famous.
She's been in a bunch of different movies.
She's a stand up comedian. She's an actress.
If you see her face, you would know her.

(43:47):
Yeah, what was her name again? Natasha Legaro.
Oh my God. Yeah, right.
See, like you know who that is. So since you have her up, what
is she? What's some stuff that she's
been in the Exorcist chronicles?He's just not that into you
neighbors the do over fuck Valentine's Day.
Oh, just kidding. That's to be announced.
It's filming currently, Yeah. So she's, she's been in a lot of

(44:10):
funny movies. She's super funny and she.
Real quick, in 2013 she was in amovie called Dealing With Idiots
and her role was Tipsy Jessica. That's funny, Jessica.
That sounds like an idiot. It does anyway.
Tipsy Jessica, how was the show?It was really good.

(44:31):
The guy that opened for them. I've seen him before.
He's open for other comedians aswell.
He he's really funny. I didn't laugh at a lot of his
jokes this time because I had heard almost all of them before.
So I was like, you know, jokes just don't hit the same the
second time necessarily because you already know the punchline.

(44:51):
You already know what's happening.
But he's so fun. OK, I need to look up this guy's
name. I follow him on Instagram, but
he looks like our younger brother or my whatever.
He looks like our brother Josh because he's my younger year old
or whatever. He looks like our brother Josh,
but like Josh, if Josh wasn't a meth head.
No, you know, if he was like a healthy, normal human.

(45:15):
Yeah. Yeah.
He's weird, wild. Yeah, it's crazy.
And not like, exactly like Josh,but he's a cute dude.
And he's a little bit younger, but yeah, he made a whole bunch
of like, generation jokes and shit like that.
He's a millennial and I think he's like about your age.
But yeah, he made a whole bunch of different jokes about Jen
Sears and stuff. But I love that.

(45:36):
Anyways, I remember when I'm sitting at this show, Natasha
had this bit because she just her, she's got like a 5 year old
daughter and she's 50 and she's just like, you know, she's 50.
I know she looks so fucking good.
God damn bro, she's a vampire, she her.
Legs. I was like, can I be you when I

(45:57):
grow up? I was like, fuck.
She had a big old booty, just gorgeous legs in beautiful
shape. When she said she was 50, I was
like shut the fuck up. You're fucking lying.
Yeah, I think when she said thata lot of women were like, wait,
what? I'm 50I look like I'm 80.
OK, So I go see Natasha Legaro and she has this big because

(46:17):
like I said, she has a 5 year old daughter and she's like, you
know, I don't like a lot of pop music because I have taste.
And she's like, what was her bigthing?
She was like, I'm doing everything I can to keep my
daughter away from well, Taylor Swift, good, good lady.
And she's like, I don't know whysomebody with no talent has such

(46:40):
a chokehold on the world. And I was like.
Yeah, wow. Fucking pop off.
I was like, shit, tell us how you really feel.
But so then she's like, I need to figure out like what kind of
music that my daughter can listen to.
And somebody's like, oh, well, have you heard of Kidz Bop?
And like, a lot of parents just started laughing because they're
like, Oh my God, please don't. I fucking hate Kidz Bop.

(47:02):
So I never had my kids so bad. Well, Natasha had prepped a few
things for us. Oh, boy.
And one of them in particular, Iwould love to play for you guys
just a little bit. We all know I'm going to play
just a little snippet. You guys, we all know this song,
right? Yeah.

(47:27):
OK. So of course, kidz bop.
How can we make this song kid friendly?
Oh, I'm worried. This is the kids pop version of

(47:49):
WOP, I said. You know I like to eat 11 days a
week. Wings and pizza.
I'm stumped. That crust with extra.
Cheese. Stocking rolls in my mouth

(48:11):
stuffed them rolls in my mouth 11 days a week.
Oh no, no for me, dog. Oh my God, it was so funny.
And she was like, yeah, 'cause that's better.
She did another one with the, I think it was the skeet.

(48:35):
Skeet and Kidz Bop did a versionfor that.
Yeah. We're just like, so she played
three different songs for us andthen the Kidz Pop version of
those songs. And one of them it's because
she's in. So she plays the original
version. She's like, OK, do you guys, you
guys know what these lyrics are saying?
Do you know what this song is about?
And she gives us a breakdown, you know, in case there's people
who don't know what WAP is or, you know, the skeet, skeet and

(48:56):
all this stuff, right? They live under a rock.
Yeah, so, well, I mean, there was some older people there too,
so. But anyways, it's it was funny.
It was funny though, because when she played WAP, everybody's
like, do you guys know what WAP is?
And I was like wet ass pussy. So yeah, everybody knew we're
like okay, I was a little bit surprised by some of these 60

(49:17):
year olds freaks. For real.
Okay, I see you. So she's doing that with each
song and she gets to this last song, and I don't remember what
it was or else I would tell you guys.
But essentially she's just talking.
She says this guy is just rapping.
He's like him and his girl, right.
Like, they they cook meth and they have they have a good thing

(49:39):
to write a song about. Yeah.
You know, they have matching lambos.
And he just loves how good she is in the kitchen cooking up
that meth. And that's what that song is
about. Wow.
Yeah. Well, the kids pop version, they
didn't change anything. Literally the same lyrics.
Why? Huh.
Yeah. How is that approved?
I don't know, but yeah. Very, very crazy.

(50:01):
Very. Interesting.
We got kids singing it. It's different, yeah.
Well, that was OK. She goes.
I love that you said that because with the with the Wop,
you know, there's like a little bit of like a chorus part or is
it with wop? I don't know.
I can't remember the song, but one of them, there's like a
little bit of a a chorus part inthere and she's like, how

(50:22):
exactly did they teach the kids if they were like, OK, so this
is this is the song. Like this is how we want you to
sound. And then they just hear these
like raunchy S words, but with these lyrics, you know, it's
just like teaching all these little kids this.
It's just crazy. Kidz bop is wild.
It is wild. And also there's so.
Many of them fuck. I oh I hate.

(50:44):
I was never into kidz bop. Yeah, I was that mom.
I was like, my kids can't listento kids pop.
They can't have cartoon characters on their shoes or
their shirts. I or like superheroes or Barbies
or any. I'd never nothing.
I would never let them have anything like that on their

(51:05):
shirts and and shoes. I just thought it was so cringy.
I'd never liked it. I'm like, no, I might not be
like rich, but I'm not dressing my kids like that.
I I can't. I've just always thought it was
so awful. Yeah, I mean, if you've done it
well, look at yourself. Consider your life choices.
How did your kids turn? Up in the mirror, make eye

(51:25):
contact with yourself. You happy?
Just sent everyone into an existential crisis.
What have I done? You're right.
Yeah. No, it's not my.
It's it's not my favorite. I don't like that vibe.
Yeah. Also just never let my kids eat
fast food either. No.
Every once in a while growing up.

(51:47):
Like, you know, how long ago wasthat actually?
How long ago was. I mean, you were a kid.
Well, because my perception of math also not a strong.
Yeah, not a strong suit. No, because my perception of
time and actual time are very different.
Because I feel like Piper is yours.
You are her surrogate. Yeah, she has.
I may have actually given birth to her.

(52:08):
It wasn't actually you. Yeah.
She has no concept of how time works.
No, because, like, for me, 2015 was like 5 years ago, not ten
years ago. Crazy.
Yeah, I tell Piper it's 1:15. She's like, So what time is that
stop? Are you kidding?
Her, I have to teach her like somany times I'm like, yeah, it's.

(52:29):
Just crazy to me. Yeah, that's my child.
Yeah, sorry for the tism. Sorry for the tism.
Got a touch of the tism? Does it touch?
That's funny, that one, The comedian that looks like Josh,
he was saying he's like, oh, yougot a touch of the tizzy.
I love all those little. Things and then.

(52:50):
If she is fun, I know it was pretty funny.
Good stuff. OK, so this comedian, he says
the algorithm is crazy. Yo like it.
It figures you out in like minutes, he said.
I remember when I first got Instagram that or no, it was
TikTok. I think he was like the first

(53:10):
time I got TikTok. He's like, that algorithm
figured me out so quick right away.
Like I had just scrolled a couple times and next thing I
knew I was like, oh, we know what you like.
And I was like, I bet you don't.It was like, you like girls with
big booties doing squats. How did you know that?

(53:31):
Doesn't pretty much everybody. And then he was like, so I'm
going through, you know, and a few months later I'm starting to
get like tik toks about like, you know, you have autism.
If, and he was like, wait a second, I don't have autism,
autism. What are you talking about?
He's like, let's test this algorithm out.
He's like my cousin. He's got a touch of the tizzy.
He's like, so I'm going to create a new account, give it to

(53:52):
him. And, you know, if he likes, just
want to, if he wants to look at fire trucks or whatever, you
know, that's like, OK, he, it's,it's good.
But it you know, it's. Either a fire truck or a train.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
And and so he gives it to him and he comes back 5 minutes
later and it's girls doing girlswith big booties doing squats.

(54:18):
He's like, so Needless to say, we both like dump trucks.
It's pretty funny. He's a funny guy.
I got to look him up. Actually, that's fun.
There was him. Credit for his joke.
Yeah, There was some drag show that was happening on Friday

(54:39):
that I wanted to go and then ended up completely spacing on.
Oh, really? Yeah, It was either boys at work
or Men At Work, but it was all drag, like construction worker,
yeah, themed or whatever. And I was at 7 and at 8:00, I
remember. And I was like, oh, fuck.
Because for, I don't know, probably two or three weeks I

(55:01):
had seen posters around town for.
And I was like, I want to fucking go to that.
I want to support my local drag,damn it.
And then nothing. Yeah, totally blanked.
That sucks. Yeah, I'll have to talk to.
I told you MO. She she knows all about all the
drag. Yeah.
And this would have been a greatweekend since Gavin has been out

(55:21):
of town. I know what a.
Bummer. And you've been wanting to go to
drag for a long time too, Yeah. Oh, well, so, so sad.
To go back to my question of things that freak you out.
Yeah. Vomit.
OK, OK. What's something that would just
annoy you or, like, drive you kind of nuts?

(55:42):
Like a phrase that got repeated?I don't like.
When I don't like when I have torepeat.
Myself to people, no. Something that like said to you,
said to me. Oh.
The thing that'll set me off like.
Calm down, why are you mad? Yeah, tell me to fucking calm
down again. I'll fucking show you how

(56:07):
fucking calm I am right now. You're going to wish I was this
calm, right? No, if people tell me to calm
down it makes me want to fuckingthroat punch him or.
I thought you're going to say throw up.
No, maybe you want to throat punch him.
Like fuck like oh that'll piss me off so fast.
OK, Any animals or anything likethat, that just kind of like

(56:32):
like you want to want to be in aroom with it?
Yeah, lots of wild animals. Not for like the danger aspect.
No, I can't think of any. Really like, I don't know, a
tarantula in you in just a smallroom or something.
No, I'm good with that. But I've also seen a tarantula
which looked like I'm killing me, small rock crossing the road

(56:53):
at a slow pace. And I was like, how was that
rock movie? And it got out and I was like,
holy fuck, it's a tarantula. No, thank you.
First of all, yeah, that was when I was up in Sequoia
National Forest in Cali. That that makes sense.
That was crazy. I was like, whoa, there's
tarantulas here in the wild. I had no fucking clue.
That freaked me out a little bit.
What about like what are there'sa a certain kind of cockroach

(57:13):
that's like really big because they're, I don't know, they're
seriously. I know Vegas has them a lot all
over the world. Yeah, I can't remember what what
they're called, but there's a specific type of cockroach that
is fucking massive. Yeah, I don't remember what I
know what ones you're talking about though.
Vegas has those. Yeah.
Would you be in a room with likefive of those?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were killing me here.

(57:35):
What? OK, Do you know, did you ever
watch that show Fear Factor? Yeah.
OK. So Joe Rogan was the host of
that for a really long time. That show so young.
I know that show blows my mind. Like, I remember watching it and
some of the shit that people would have to do.

(57:55):
It was always like eating they would like make them eat
earthworms or eat cockroaches oreating like something gross or
sticking their hand in like a pit of snakes to get something
or whatever. Like it just all these like, you
know, just anything that might freak you out or.
It was fear. Factor, you know, can you
overcome it? And I remember watching that
show. There was a lot of stuff.
I was like, wait, y'all are gonna eat that?

(58:17):
That was one thing. Like sticking my hand into
something is a whole other thing.
Putting that motherfucker in my mouth.
And biting down. Oh, God, no, no.
Wow, That felt like a real reaction.
Yeah, no. The idea of eating insects.
I would probably die if I had tosurvive off of grub.
I'd be like, well, this is it. It's been good world.

(58:39):
All right, so. You actually can go now.
Let's bounce out of this bitch I.
Don't know if I want to live that bad to survive off of
eating insects. Yeah, I grew up on Timon and
Pumbaa but couldn't, couldn't live their life.
Right, he's just like slurping up a maggot.

(59:02):
I gotta go. Tapping out OK, so clearly you
have answers to these questions.What's the thing that like
pisses you off or grosses you out and gives you a reaction?
But that's somebody if I saw. So OK, what I was trying to
build up to was to give you a would you rather here?
Oh OK, I'll still do a. Would you rather?

(59:22):
It was supposed to be very specific, but you know I'm not
getting anywhere on the last half.
So would you rather be in a roomwhere the floor is all vomit?
Or, let's see, I was still putting this part together, but
like I said, you weren't giving me Jack shit.

(59:44):
So room floors covered in vomit.It's everywhere on the walls,
everywhere where you're standingis clear, but you're you're
trapped in the room. You got to stay there for 12
hours. OK, that's.
Fucked. Up.
Yeah. Yes, it is.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Or you're stuck in a room for 12hours with men telling you to

(01:00:06):
calm down. And like they they know all the
buttons to push that are just like.
I'll go with the vomit, a room full of men fucking telling me
to calm down and talking to Oh no no no for. 12 hours?

(01:00:30):
Fuck that, I would. Probably come out a very broken
woman. I'm sure a couple of them would
be broken also. Do I get to go in with a weapon
or? The weapon.
You are the weapon. Yeah.
Which that's telling because we went through a whole thing on
how you feel about vomit. Yeah.
So, yeah, that's all I was working up to.

(01:00:53):
That's what I wanted to know. That's that's crazy.
Oh my gosh, wow. I feel like I need to come up on
come up with one for you. Let's go with Would you rather
be in A room where everything, the floor, the walls, the
furniture, everything, is made out of human teeth?

(01:01:15):
Oh, the idea of the textures. Yeah, there.
Can't even. You can't even walk anywhere.
Like the floor. Everything.
Nothing's clear. You're fucked.
Everything's teeth. Do I not get to wear shoes?
Yeah, you can wear shoes. Oh, you wear shoes?
Thank God you wear Chucks. That's fucking rude.
I might as well be barefoot. Exactly.

(01:01:37):
OK, so then you have to set up disgusting or or 12.
Years. Hours.
I'll take myself off of this planet. 1st 12 hours God.
Or would you rather? I'd come out a different person.
I you think you'd be a broken woman?
I would be a broken woman. God.

(01:02:04):
OK, 12 hours. OK for you. 12 years.
Oh, my heart's beating weird. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do
that to you. It's just a it's just a fix to
know, she says that, she shakily.
Drinks her cup. Of water.
She's traumatized already just in visualizing it.

(01:02:26):
In visualizing it. You know, let's just move on.
What's the other half of this? Oh my God, I just tried to mix 2
versions of the same kind of thing.
Yeah, that's, you know, it's fine.
That's when you say like, what is it when people say oh, like,
oh, glappy to meet you, glappy or glice nice to meet you.

(01:02:55):
Nice. To meet you don't remember my
name. Oh, my God, My stomach hurts a
little bit. You're welcome.
OK, so would you rather be in a room that is completely made out
of teeth? The furniture, everything you
have to wear, Chucks. You're in there for 12 hours.
OK. Human teeth everywhere.

(01:03:16):
There's no escape in it. You can't touch anything like
that. Doesn't I mean, you can touch
what you want, but everything's made of teeth.
OK, so. Or would you rather be in a room
with maggots? Give me the teeth all over the
floor. Give me the teeth.
I'll do whatever you want with the teeth.

(01:03:37):
The teeth. OK, perfect.
That was. Easy, because we know how you
feel about that too. Yep, can't but I choose the
teeth. I choose the teeth every time.
Yeah. Do you want me to lay down?
Rub my face against them? Do not put me in a room with
maggots and cockroaches and shit.
Yeah. That's terrible.
I'm sorry, I was just gagging thinking about it.

(01:03:59):
Their little bodies just like squishy underneath your feet.
We're officially fighting. Thanks so much right now.
Oh my God. OK, I have another one for you.
Haven't you done enough? Would.

(01:04:19):
You rather pay for my therapy. I really just want to see how
you feel about these teeth you. Just want to see me.
Gag. No, actually I'm switching it
up. Would you rather be in this room
with the floor full of like maggots and cockroaches?
No. Or would you rather be in a room
full of freaky looking clowns that just keep coming up to you
and slightly touching you and breathing on you?

(01:04:42):
Clowns. What?
That is fucking crazy to me. Yeah, cuz clowns aren't gonna
mysteriously be walking up my pant leg.
Yeah, but one of them could be Pennywise.
It's. Fine, fucking Take Me Out, turn
it into a spider and Take Me Outof this.
Release me from this prison. Just so you guys know, we've

(01:05:05):
talked about this in previous episodes, but Samara really,
really enjoys the company of clowns.
You're such a fucking lying sackof shit.
No, she hates clowns. She's had bad experiences.
Yeah, and it's still weird because I, I still can't really

(01:05:25):
pinpoint what makes a clown OK with me and one that freaks me
out because it's not all clowns,but it's enough of them that
I've got a I've got a fucking problem with them.
It's pretty great. I remember going to the fair one
year. And there was my ass.
There, do you already know what I'm going to say?
Is it the? Fucking the maze.

(01:05:46):
No, no. OK, so I went to the fair one
year and I saw this clown, very creepy looking clown, clown
costume, everything all the all it's just very creepy.
And I was like, oh hey, will youtake a picture of me and this
clown together? I need to send it to my sister.
That's right. I was like, does your sister

(01:06:07):
love you? And I remember your response is
just like I hate you so much. Yeah, that sounds about right.
I took and I'm pretty. Sure, my response.
Was just laughing probably. Yep.
Intended reaction achieved. And it's such bullshit because
you and I have like two other friends that will randomly send
me clown shit and I'm just like you guys can literally go fuck

(01:06:29):
yourselves. Literally go throw yourself off
a Cliff and go fuck yourself allthe way down.
Wow, stupid, I hate it. Think of anything that that
freaks me out like that, that anybody would really be able to
do anything with. Because most stuff, it's just
like in my mind, like we were talking about last week as far
like we were talking about last week about the scary movies and

(01:06:50):
shit. So I was telling Piper about
that and I was like, I don't know if I could ever date
somebody who it was a big horrorbuff.
Like they just loved horror movies and scary movies.
Not that I have anything againstit, like watch what you want,
but like I. Don't make me.
Yeah, I'm not going to watch them with you ever.
And Piper's like, why? And I was like, because I don't

(01:07:10):
want to. I don't.
You can't peer pressure me into.It what is this?
Drugs? Yeah.
And she? Gets it?
You'll like it. She's like why is it cuz you're
scared? Cuz you're a Sissy?
And I was like, bitch, yeah, bitch it is actually.
And fuck you getting. Bullied by my daughter?
Yeah, my. Fucking own child coming at me.

(01:07:32):
I was like what is wrong with you?
You're so mean. Good.
Good job Piper. Also, we need to have you on the
show. Yeah.
Yeah, we gotta have Piper on this show.
But these days she's she's funny.
She cracks me up. Plus the two of you together
just be. I love when we hit the same vibe
at the same time. And just like me, too.

(01:07:53):
This is this is good. It's it is really good.
Yeah. We'll have to do that one of
these days. Well, what do you think?
You wanna wanna play a game? Yeah, yeah, OK.
It's another another game besides this terrible one that
we've played that I've opened the door for BRB.

(01:08:18):
Ba ba ba ba ba ba. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. You got me rocking and the
rolling rocking and the reeling.Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.
You're welcome. What are we playing for our

(01:08:40):
game? We are playing bad choices.
This game is so fun. It really just makes you
question the people who wrote these, but also who you're in a
room with. Yeah.
Well, and also I feel like this could like definitely like spark
an existential crisis in somebody, some of these
questions. I read 1 card that was very

(01:09:00):
fitting for today. Didn't choose it though.
Yeah. No, it was gross, disgusting,
terrible. Hey, I think we both gagged at
the idea. Actually don't even want to talk
about it. It's a very.
Gaggy episode. Yeah.
Yeah, that's great. That was a lot.
I was going to say Gaggy and Moist, but then don't put those
two together. Nope.
Sorry. OK, so we're each going to do 5

(01:09:21):
cards. Samara, why don't you go first,
sister? OK, Hawkeye.
Would you sleep 6 feet under in an empty grave for a night for
$2000? Did you just kind of wheeze?
No, that, that just made my whole body.

(01:09:41):
I had a whole body reaction though.
It's very squirmy. Oh, that.
Oh, that disturbs me so much. Like I like, I have to like it's
an open grave. I don't have to be like in a
coffin, just lay on the dirt. I feel like that'd be worse.
I'd rather be in a coffin I think.
No bugs can crawl on me. Read it again.
Would you sleep 6 feet under in an empty grave for a night for

(01:10:03):
$2000? In an empty grave for a night
for $2000. I want to say that I would, but
honestly, I'm so I'm such a scene.
I I. Scene from a horror movie.
It really is. That's like fears coming to
life. I know.
And no, no I wouldn't. It's not enough money.

(01:10:25):
I would for $2000 easy. Oh, yeah.
I'm pretty good at disassociating, so I got it.
It's big. What if I fall asleep and
somebody starts, like, dumping dirt on me?
Oh, God. We'll just assume that no,
you're just perfectly safe. Nothing's going to happen to
you. No monsters, no paranormal

(01:10:45):
activity. Well, no.
People will fuck with you at least.
Oh, we'll just say that. Well, I'm not afraid of
everything else, though. I'm afraid of everything else.
Oh. OK.
Yeah. No, no, that's a no for me.
Oh, I would. That's for sure.
That's that's OK. That's good.
I'll do it two nights. I'll get your share.
Give me 4000 that is. Crazy.
I just want a pillow and a blanket.

(01:11:06):
I get cold. What's wrong with you?
I'm poor. No, I'm just twisted enough.
Wow, OK. Would you marry somebody twice
your age if it meant that you never had to work again?
So 66 years old, right? Yeah, they aged very well.

(01:11:28):
We'll we'll say they aged well, yes.
Sure, why not? And the Nicole Smith action
happening, yeah, I'd hope that we'd get.
Along, yeah, yeah. Right.
I would hope we'd get along. I would too.
I mean, I I'm hoping like I don't like, is it asking?
I would just marry this person solely for the fact that I would
never have to work again. Everything's provided for me,

(01:11:49):
sure, but maybe I don't love theperson.
Like that would be different if I don't love them.
I'm like, I don't know then no, yeah, but if I and twice my age
for me is 88 years old actually,I might do that.
Yeah. They're.
Probably long left anyways. Men die before women all the
time, right? He's probably already on his
deathbed it. I've probably got a foot and a

(01:12:12):
knee in the grave. Exactly.
And a hand actually. You just got to wait till some
dirt crumbles and then he just tips on over.
Blow him over dust in the wind. Girl.
Oh, people lost their shit when Anna Nicole Smith married her

(01:12:32):
husband 'cause she was like, I think she was like early 30s and
her husband was 90 something. I think I just saw a picture on
TikTok somebody or Instagram. Somebody must have like pulled
it up and it was crazy. It was her wedding day.
She's standing there in her bridal gown and her husband.
Was in a wheelchair. To crap it is in a wheelchair.
Was he? I was kidding.

(01:12:54):
Oh, I don't know that. Yeah, he's like old, old.
He's got like all the age spots and just, you know.
Of the liver spots. And the liver spots, yeah, yeah,
it was just very, very old. Pop off, Queen.
Yeah, you do you. He died not too long.
I think they were together for two years and then then he died.
But I mean, easy. I've done worse.
I've worked terrible jobs for two years.

(01:13:14):
What's the difference? I've been, I've been in worse
relationships for longer. Yeah.
So yeah, I'm doing it no problem.
Then I can go find who I really love.
We can have a, We can have a beautiful life.
We can have a. Beautiful life together.
I made sacrifices for you. All right.

(01:13:37):
Would you accept $500,000? But every time, every time you
speak, you have to rub your nipples.
For how long? Yeah, I can do that for you.
Go to the fax. Come make a fax, OK?
Wow. How long?
How long? It doesn't say.

(01:13:58):
Just like indefinitely for the day.
I don't know. That is you're, that's very
open-ended. It's very open now.
God damn it. I need to move my mic anyways a
little bit. That's crazy.
Like rub your nipples as you're talking to somebody.
Could you imagine you go pick upyour clients just like how are
you doing today? Is it the?

(01:14:19):
Whole time that you're talking or just like initially you gotta
wait? We need clarification on this.
I didn't know how long it's going for because I would do
that for $500,000. But to have to do it for a year,
actually, I would do it for a year for 500 grand.
That's so many more time. That's like several years of my
income, actually. Yeah.
So yeah, I mean, even if it was for a year, I would do it, yeah.

(01:14:41):
I would then move away because everybody that knows me would
just think that was fucked up and weird and.
Yeah, if I have the if I had thesame job during that time, I
could probably get away with it since I work with so many old
people. You.
Probably just misinterpret it. You just gaslight them into
thinking that's not what happened.
Yeah, or just, yeah, just casually, very discreetly do it.

(01:15:05):
They don't say you have to use your hands.
You can use your forearm or something like, yeah, I don't
know, like your forearm just goes up your body.
I mean, that's that's rubbing. Yeah, that's rubbing your
nipple. OK, go down.
Let's do it. Wipe your nose with your finger.
You know, like, yeah, yeah, I'd do it.
Yeah, absolutely. There's ways you could work it.

(01:15:27):
Yeah. I yeah, No, I'm here.
I can do it. Max Eager though.
Yeah, Max, I don't. Yeah, I don't need to be doing
this forever. That's crazy.
It's a good way to get put on like a registry or something on
a list, right? Exactly.
I'm not trying to get in trouble.
Yeah. Come on, I'm just trying to get
rich ish half $1,000,000 these days ain't shit.

(01:15:48):
Not really, but. Man, that'd be one hell of an
income for a year. Yeah, that'd be real nice.
God that would solve so many problems for me.
Same. They say money can't solve
problems. Bitch, I don't know you ever had
any money because I feel like itwould solve a lot of my
problems. Right.
The whole, oh, money can't buy you happiness.
I don't know. Have you ever been poor?

(01:16:09):
They can buy you a lot of thingsthat lead to happiness.
So oh wow. Do you know how depressing and
stressful being poor is? Yeah.
Yeah, shut up. Exactly.
Did you grow up on food stamps, bitch?
I didn't think so. No comment.
Yeah. All right.
Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

(01:16:32):
Yeah, yeah, Like, duh. Obviously.
Where are we? The 1800s, basically.
What about you? Yes.
The way you looked at me side eye, yeah.
Yeah, I've had friends with benefits.

(01:16:53):
They never work out for me though.
Do your friends, I need to know this, Like do your friends with
benefits like work out? Like you guys were able to just
stay friends? Sex like nothing more.
Yeah, until we both moved on andlike we, we, I would say even
now we're still friends. But there's a lot of people that
I'm friends with that like we don't see each other cuz they're

(01:17:14):
in different states. Yeah, but yeah, that see that
doesn't ever work for me cuz my when I was in my very brief
friends with benefit stage when I was like, I don't know if I
want a relationship or if I justwant casual sex.
I feel like, you know, FWBS are right in the middle.
Yeah, dudes are like, Oh yeah, no, I can do that.
I yeah, I'm totally down to be friends with benefits.
We like fuck twice. And they're like, I would really

(01:17:36):
like a relationship with you see, the the difference is that
I was already friends with them for years.
Well, see, that's see. So those were like really just
friends 1st and then the benefits.
Came. Yeah, that's the only way that
it ends up working out. Yeah, cuz it doesn't work the
other way. People just find out how they
discover how fucking awesome I am.

(01:17:56):
And they're like, shit, I need to lock this bitch down.
You're like, that wasn't part ofthe arrangement.
You broke the contract. Bye.
Yeah, exactly. Verbatim.
Bye. Bye.
It's been fun until you ruined it.
Until you literally fucking. Ruined it.
We had a good thing going here. You and your feelings.

(01:18:17):
Stupid, stupid idiot. All right.
Would you get a tattoo of a teardrop on your face for
$100,000? I would.
Yeah. Yeah.
I could totally do that, yeah. And I'd spend a little bit of
that money to have it removed after I got my money.
Well, there you go. Yeah, I'd keep it.
Yeah, you would. I fucking would.

(01:18:37):
Can picture it now. Sure.
Put a little jewel on that bitch.
It'd be funny. Yeah, no, I would totally do
that. Yeah, I would.
I would have mine removed thoughafterwards, depending on, you
know, Kyle. That was so fucking bad though.

(01:19:00):
Probably. I've watched videos of people
getting tattoos removed, like from their body different, like
bigger. Oh, the removal hurting.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
On your fucking near your eye because they're literally using
a laser to to burn the ink out. Would it?
Would it be worth it? Can you just start getting into
using concealer and just. All the time.

(01:19:22):
No, I don't know. I think I would just get rid of
it or maybe turn it into a Daisy.
I don't know, try to make it into.
I kind of hate the idea of a Daisy even more.
Yeah, that was worse than a teardrop.
It was kind of gross. Who are you?
No, I'll try to do something different with it maybe.
I don't know. Whatever.
I'd do it. That's the point.

(01:19:42):
OK. The point is, yes, part up for
cash. So what do you want me to do?
Yeah, I would. All right, if you were stranded
on a desert island with five people, like all people that you
know and love a lot. Who am I sacrificing?
Would you eat one of them to survive?

(01:20:03):
Yeah. Wow.
OK, well. I'm not.
They would have to die first. I'm not going to eat them alive.
Yeah, well, nobody's dead. You're sacrificing somebody.
Read that card again. Would you eat someone to
survive? It doesn't say that they're
alive or dead. Well, I'm saying they're alive.
I'm saying that they're dead. Well, it's my card, my rules.

(01:20:25):
Your rules are. Bullshit.
If they were alive, then I guesswe're all going to have to sit
down and have a hard conversation.
A hardcore section. We all need to have a heart to
heart right now. When you start listening now,
people's like if it's me, you, Piper, Gavin and who's another

(01:20:48):
person we could throw in there that you really love and care
about. I guess Glenn, OK, that dude's
like skin, bones, so it's very lean.
Me, you, Gavin and Piper are allsitting having this heart to
heart heart. I'm just gonna have like a real

(01:21:08):
talk who's like, I feel like that's the time you're like, OK,
well, Glenn, obviously you're safe.
There's no meat on your bones, so you're not feeding anybody.
That's fine, because I think if anyone we're gonna be willing to
be like, yeah, I volunteer as tribute, It would be Glen.
It would be Glen. OK, so we got another two weeks

(01:21:29):
maybe out of him. Start fattening him up.
OK, so then you look at now you're like, OK, well, Piper, I
mean, your possibility, I mean, really you have a lot of dietary
issues. You got a lot of dietary
restrictions. So really we'd be doing UFA,

(01:21:49):
right? We we would be helping you out
in this regard. I mean, you're a vegetarian
anyways, so I mean, you're not, you're not going to eat anybody
anyways. So I feel like Piper would make
sense, but that would be really hard for me to like, sacrifice
my daughter. Yeah.
I'm like, OK, well Samara, I'll save you from your eczema.
Actually, it's doing better in this climate.

(01:22:15):
Gavin, honestly, you could probably feed all of us for a
while. Rude.
I feel like. No, I'm not saying he's fat.
He's just got a lot of meat on his bones, like all of us.
I'm like, he could probably feed.
He could probably feed the fam. Probably.
But he's stronger than everybody.
Yeah, that just means he's got more muscle for us to munch on.

(01:22:35):
All the shelters that he could make us.
Hey, I'm handy. I can figure it out.
Not those nails. They'll be gone.
They'll be gone, don't worry. And me, I mean, you guys need
me. I'm the brains of the operation.
Oh, sure. OK.
Yeah, compared to Glenn, OK, We're all idiots compared to him

(01:22:55):
around. Glenn was there.
Shit, we are all idiots compared.
To yeah, that would suck. Does Glenn know how to survive?
Probably. I mean, I do.
That dude's got a lot of knowledge.
I know can he build a fire? I can build a fire.
So can I, So can. No, we can't.

(01:23:15):
We we have you, me and Glenn forsure.
Yeah. OK, who can hunt me and you?
I've never gone hunting OK me. Great, it's settled.
I win whatever we're. Moving.
On it's gonna be a game of we'rejust gonna have like, what is
that? A hide and seek game when we'll
give you 20 minutes to We're allgonna come out and find you.

(01:23:39):
That was very yellow jackets, kind of.
You know we're just going to hunt you so.
That's very yellow jackets. That's crazy.
It's very fucked up, very psychological.
Flies. Yeah.
And then we're going to eat you.Moving on, I don't like your
face right now. Would you crawl through a mile
of sewage in a tunnel to have sex with your celebrity crush?

(01:24:00):
You get to shower before you seethem.
Yes, no problem. That was fast.
Hello. My celebrity crush.
Shamar Moore. Brad Pitt.
Yeah. Worth it.
It's very Beavis and Butt head of you.
Would you potentially. Who's your celebrity crush?

(01:24:26):
Kate Mcmennon. OK, well.
Clearly you're not that hard crushing on her.
I'm just like, well, how horny am I?
Who's? Your one opportunity.
I've gone this long without it. I don't know.
It's not a good card for me because I can.
Yeah, it's not very good for yousee.
And I'm like, no, Shamar Moore. Yeah, you didn't have any

(01:24:48):
hesitation? Nope, no hesitation at all.
I will. Whatever I need to do, tell me.
Get a teardrop and get it. Yeah, I'll do it.
Yeah. I need to get a teardrop tattoo,
walk through my little sewage. I mean, I get to take a shower
afterwards and desamitize or like de sanitize.
That was the sewage, honey. Sanitize myself.
So, yeah, I think I'm down for it.

(01:25:09):
Anything, whatever I have to do for Shamar, call me baby.
I love you. See, none of my celebrity
crushes are hardcore. Like, Oh yeah, I just, I don't
care about celebrities in general enough.
I don't care about celebrities at all.
I just. There's more Brad Pitt.
Yeah, but that's because I like the way they look.

(01:25:30):
It's completely physical. I mean, if she was at the end of
the tunnel, like sitting there waiting for you, beckoning you.
Yeah, with all of her hilarious jokes, then yeah, probably.
Yeah, you'd just be laughing your way through the shit.
Yeah, absolutely. That woman is hilarious as fuck.
Well, like, oh, perfect, that wasn't so hard.
OK, whatever. All right, you got me.

(01:25:53):
I know. I know.
OK, money. Question.
If you were married, would you allow someone to have sex with
your spouse for $50,000? Maybe.
Maybe. What?
What's your criteria here? He'd have to agree.
Well, we're going to assume it'sconsensual.

(01:26:16):
They're not just going to be raped.
Babe, you have to do this. We need this money.
I mean, 50 would help a lot. 50 would do a lot.
It would do a lot. Could definitely stretch that
out to make a lot of things better.
Just like a random person, yeah.Just would you allow somebody to
have sex with Gavin for $50,000?Honestly, probably not.

(01:26:38):
No. No, probably not.
Couldn't handle it. You're like.
No, I would. I would need more zeros on
there. Yeah. 50,000 just feels.
No, 50,000 isn't. It's not enough.
OK, what about for 500,000? No, it'd have to be at least at
500,100 thousand. A lot of money.

(01:26:58):
That is a lot of money that would pay off all your debt.
You guys, the other property. I mean, if, well, rubbing my
nipples for $500,000 is a lot less of an ask for 500.
Yeah, probably, Yeah. Now I'm going to ask this when
he gets home. Yeah, I'm gonna ask him that
question. Hey, would you let somebody have

(01:27:19):
sex with me for $500,000? Yeah, not that I've been in
opposition. Before you, before you answer,
think of all the good it would do in our life.
Yeah. It's probably gonna be bad
anyway. Right.
No, I totally would. I'd do it for $50,000.
I definitely do it for $500,000.But I'm assuming that our

(01:27:40):
relationship is rock solid because I'm obviously not
married and I don't have a person at all.
But I'm going to assume like, we're in a good place.
Plus we're kinky. So, you know, let me watch and
it'll be great. That voyeurism.
Yeah, I've been getting paid forsomething that I want to see
anyways. Yeah, 50,000 I don't think is

(01:28:01):
enough, but 500,000, yeah, yeah,yeah.
Well, I mean, obviously if I'm doing it for 50, I'll definitely
do it for 500, twist my arm. It's a nice tip, All right.
My last one, would you spend thenight in a full porta potty for
$10,000? Yes, Yep.
Yeah, I would do that. I mean, they're not.

(01:28:21):
They are kind of they suck, but.Somewhat better than others I've
been in some really surprisinglywell kept pork bodies.
Same. Same.
Yeah. No, that's easy money.
Yeah. And I can lock myself in there,
and I have to be assured that nobody's gonna go.
Tipping it OK that it's harder than you think.

(01:28:42):
Nobody can do that. That I'm not OK with.
Yeah, no. Yeah, OK.
Would you accept $50,000? But porn audio softly plays from
your pocket at all times for a year.
The music or just the audio? The audio.
Oh, so like audio, like people fucking is softly plain from

(01:29:03):
your pocket all year long. It's gonna make this podcast
real awkward. It was like God Eric dude
grunting. Oh my God, for how much?
50,000 for a year? No, because the clientele, not

(01:29:26):
all of them, have bad hearing. Some of them are already looking
for something to be cranky about.
So no, not willing to deal with that.
It's a squeaky wheel. I actually do have something
squeaky in my van. I don't know what it is, but.
Well, but when you're driving, the road noise is likely going
to cover it up anyways. Yeah, I guess I wouldn't need to

(01:29:48):
know exactly how loud or quiet this is.
Yeah. And it says softly.
I assume it's like, you know, when you're sitting there
talking with somebody, it's probably like background music,
you know, just background noise.I still got to say no.
OK, OK. What about you?
Like showing a house. I just, you know, I'm going to,

(01:30:09):
I want to say yes, but I'm goingto say no because I feel like
for me, if I had porn audio playing out of my pocket, are
you the attention I get already?No, it would be unhinged.
Just in the gym my. God, anywhere.
No, it would be unhinged. I'm like, I'm good, especially.

(01:30:31):
For how often you go out to eat.Yeah, I go out, like, obviously
nobody would hear it when I'm out dancing.
You wouldn't hear it at the gym either.
It's too loud. And they play the music pretty
loud and everybody's got their headphones in.
So whatever locker rooms though the locker room, you would hear
it. This would be echoey.
Yeah, real echoey. Yeah, yeah.
No, I just, I got a pass on. That yeah, no.

(01:30:53):
I don't want that, not for a year.
It's a long time. I would do it for a week.
I could do it for a week. Yeah, I could do it for a week.
I could even do it 2. Weeks, we'll see with with my
job because I have to use my phone for GPS.
It's up on the dash like yeah, but it's the same from your
pocket, not from your phone. So there's like a small little

(01:31:13):
speaker or something that's justlike, it's still enough for me.
Yeah, OK. Well.
You know, that was all my cards.Yeah.
What about you guys? Yeah.
What kind of shit are you willing to do for some money?
Yeah. How hard up are you guys?
Clearly we are hard up, but we do.
Have we got standards, Standards, yeah, boundaries,

(01:31:34):
lines that we won't cross. Yeah, for, I mean for that, not
for that kind of money, for those monies, those amounts of
money we would probably cross. Them just not for that amount of
money. There need to be more.
I mean, yeah, money can buy a lot.
So let's just see how, yeah, youcan go with that price tag.
Everyone's got a price. Everybody's got a price.
Name yours. Mine would be an annual income

(01:31:59):
of $1,000,000 for the rest of mylife.
Yeah, with 2,000,000 upfront to get me started.
Yeah, there. You go.
Yeah, I'll do whatever you want.Well.
Not everything. I'll do a lot of things.
I'll do a lot, actually. There's there.
I do a lot of things but I won'tdo.
Everything. I'm not going to kill somebody,

(01:32:20):
no, or assault somebody. I'm not going to harm.
I'm not going to harm anybody. That's that's off.
I'm not going to do that. Emotionally, maybe a little.
Yeah, no, that's fine. Mentally, I can do that too.
Physically, no, that's where I draw the line.
I'm a good person. Leave no marks on the body, just

(01:32:43):
so scar the soul in mind. Exactly.
You get it. Wow.
Well, guys. Well, I hope you guys had a good
time. Thank you for joining us today.
We appreciate you so much. We will see you next week when
we come back with some book reviews for y'all, some book
wrecks I mean and some other topic that we will figure out to

(01:33:04):
talk about. Hey if you guys have any ideas
drop them in our DMS like. We're here for it.
Yeah, Whatever you guys. Let's see here.
Let's hear the ideas. Anything, just give it to us.
Anything. Just let us know.
We will take it from. Here.
Yeah. What kind of freaks are you
guys? Kind of weird shit, do you?
Right. Hold on.
What's a cool mystery that you like, heard about or like a cult
you want us to talk about? One of these days I will cover,

(01:33:27):
I think it's Flame 45 or something like that.
And it's a it's a cult in Oklahoma.
Oh, OK, so one of these days, yeah.
And then either probably next week, I think what day is this?
The 20th, yeah, but it's going to air on the 24th, I think.
So, you know, do we want to do another exploring sexual flavors

(01:33:51):
this month? No, we've already done one this
month. OK, I think let's wait until
till August. OK, so we'll bring exploring
sexual flavors back to you. In August?
Next month, Yeah. Until then, we're gonna
slightly, possibly casually think about what we're going to
talk about next week. Yeah, because that's how we do

(01:34:14):
it. If you guys want to recommend
any books to us, by all means, don't hold back.
Really just participate with us.We actually love, we love
hearing from all of you. And I do get people hitting me
up on Reddit still about our podcast, which is which is fine.
It's totally fine. Everything's fine.
Everything's fine. I wish you guys would.
They hit us up because the people that are hitting up me

(01:34:36):
up, they're like, Oh my gosh, I've been listening to your
podcast. It's really good.
I say it like a woman. They're all men.
Oh my God your podcast is so good.
I love it, bunch of girlies. But we do absolutely love
hearing what you guys think of the podcast and what you think

(01:34:58):
of us. And really, your reviews that
you've given us have been prettyawesome and very flattering.
So we appreciate you all for listening.
And we appreciate that you can appreciate the banter and
chemistry that Samir and I have together.
Yeah. Yeah, it's good.
It's the sauce of our box. It is.
And one of these days, we'll do Tracy's idea and.

(01:35:21):
Create some smut for you guys, God.
Oh, that could be next week's idea or topic.
You got the books for it, so. I do, I do, we can and I have
one like. I need a practice.
So me too. OK, let's practice this week.
Maybe we'll do that next week. Oh, you guys might want to
listen to this next this next episode in private.
Yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll do APSA.

(01:35:42):
Yeah. Disclaimer beforehand.
All right, well, we will see youguys next week.
We'll talk at you. All right, Peace deuces.
Listen to us on Spotify and YouTube.
Fuck you, Apple. Visit our link tree in our show
notes for more places to listen and links to our socials.
Don't forget to rate and follow us on Spotify, subscribe to our
YouTube channel and give us a follow on our socials,

(01:36:05):
Instagram, Facebook and X. Also, if you'd like to talk to
us, give us any show ideas or business opportunities, reach
out to us at The Sauce Box podcast@gmail.com.

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