Found another tape in that old box from the Sudbury garage sale. I’m still trying to figure out why these people even bothered to record any of this.
This one opens with our familiar Bootstuck correspondent ranting about “training your ears to hear fast” by imitating rap music—he actually says rap rap rap rap like that’s instructional. Then he goes on about lines, arrows, and their life purpose (apparently good for Tuesday, Wednesday, and...Tuesday?).
There’s a bit about the air and sky (nothing further—just those words), then a detour into seagulls before he abruptly claims he has to go but immediately starts another story anyway.
Things get even more local when Don shows up—yes, he seems to be right there, answering like it’s a party line. They talk about Dave’s plan to sculpt spaghetti after eating chili. Front-row seats are apparently a big deal since they only have three chairs in town.
We also learn they have running water now—a real science breakthrough. Dinner plans include possum Dave found on the road (still “mostly soft inside”), and someone suggests just grabbing chicken instead.
Our narrator admits the most exotic Bootstuck meal he ever had was when they drank downed-medical-supply alcohol after a plane crash. They’re hoping for another crash so they can meet new people. And they propose making their annual trip to the crash site to light a candle, like some twisted memorial.
Before signing off, there’s a math riddle about pears that makes no sense (“One pair, two pairs of pairs—how many do I have?”), and they promise big things next week—a circus, a Guinness record attempt—and finish with Dave being told to clear off the coffee table for dancing.
Another baffling glimpse into Bootstuck’s way of life. I'm honestly not sure if they're in on the joke or if we're the joke. Either way, I’ll keep cataloging.
www.bootstuck.com
Episode Transcript
Whoop! Just thought I'd throw in a little bit of
words here.
If you open your ears a littlebit, whoop, just like that, you
can train your ears to hear fastif you want to.
Yep, just think about a rapsong.
Rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap,rap.
They said a whole bunch ofthings in there, but you don't
know that.
Rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap,rap.
Yep, I wouldn't mind tellingyou about something else.
What should it be?
Lines are interesting.
Lines are okay unless there's alittle point on the end.
That is an arrow, and it keepstelling you which way to go.
(00:23):
Whoop! So that's exciting.
I put that on the list forthings to do on a Tuesday,
Wednesday, and a Tuesday.
Confusing! Whoop! I wanted totell you about something else.
Yeah.
Air.
Sky.
Something like that.
That's what I have to say aboutthat.
Now, seagulls are different.
Anyway, I gotta go now, so Iwouldn't mind telling you
another story.
What are we talking about now?
(00:44):
I was thinking we were talkingabout getting it done.
Right! Of course.
Well, that's how you do things.
Well, yeah, because you calledme and said I did done it, and I
got done.
And I said I didn't see you didit, but then I told Don to
check it off on the website.
Speaker 01 (00:57):
No, hang on.
Let me go get him.
Speaker 00 (01:00):
Don's there?
I'll wait for Don.
That's like Christmas, youknow.
Speaker 01 (01:04):
Hello.
Speaker 00 (01:06):
Hey, Don.
Did you know that Dave wasdoing another spaghetti, y'all?
Speaker 01 (01:10):
Well, he seems to be particularly skilled at the
spaghetti sculptures, and he'sthe only one in town that knows
how to do it.
Speaker 00 (01:19):
He said he was going to make a sculpture out of a
single piece of spaghetti.
He was going to do it for usright after he eats a bowl of
chili.
I got myself two front rowseats.
Unknown (01:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 00 (01:32):
so I can watch him do the chili-eat-spaghetti-off.
You want, Carl?
Speaker 01 (01:36):
Well, sure.
I don't like to miss aperformance, and we have to
support the arts in ourcommunity.
Speaker 00 (01:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 01 (01:44):
The arts are important.
The front row seat, that'sinteresting.
He's only got three chairs.
He's lined them all up in asingle room now, hasn't
Speaker 00 (01:53):
he?
This time, yeah.
He used to put them in alineup, and one was at the way
back.
That's okay.
I used to get nosebleeds when Isat back there for some reason.
Speaker 01 (02:01):
That's because everybody was punching you in
the face.
Speaker 00 (02:04):
Yeah, that's because nobody could see what was going
on, and I get abused a lot whenthere ain't nobody looking.
Well, I wanted to knowsomething interesting.
Do you know anything?
Speaker 01 (02:13):
We got running water now, so we can wash our hands.
Speaker 00 (02:16):
Science.
Speaker 01 (02:17):
Hands.
Speaker 00 (02:17):
Science.
Speaker 01 (02:19):
Science.
Speaker 00 (02:19):
Science.
Speaker 01 (02:20):
science and gas.
Speaker 00 (02:22):
Little bit.
Oh,
Speaker 01 (02:24):
mercy heavens.
Speaker 00 (02:26):
Possums for dinner tonight.
Dave got one on the road.
Still kind of fresh.
Mostly soft on the inside.
Speaker 01 (02:31):
Would anybody be opposed if I just grabbed some
chicken?
Speaker 00 (02:35):
Yep.
Speaker 01 (02:36):
Now, I don't wish to mean any harm to our history in
Bootstuck, but if I can betruthful, I don't find possum
particularly delicious.
Oh, that's okay.
The most exotic thing I've evereaten in Bootstuck is when my
plane dropped medical supplies.
We mistook the medical alcoholfor alcohol.
Speaker 00 (03:00):
That was a fun time.
I remember when the hikers cameby and said, did you see the
box?
And we said, it's over there,down the road.
I'm hoping another plane willcrash real soon because I
wouldn't mind meeting some newpeople.
Speaker 01 (03:14):
We should get ourselves some flares.
Speaker 00 (03:17):
You know what we're going to do next week?
I think it's about time,because it's been two years.
We should take the annual tripdown to the plane crash site and
light a candle.
Speaker 01 (03:27):
Light
Speaker 00 (03:28):
a candle.
Whoop.
Speaker 01 (03:30):
Yep.
Yep.
Speaker 00 (03:31):
Yep.
Yep.
Speaker 01 (03:31):
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Whoop.
Yep.
Yep.
Whoop.
Light a candle.
Whoop.
Speaker 00 (03:34):
Here we go.
One time, I want to tell yousomething.
Talk about pears.
I have two.
Two pears.
One pair, two pairs of pairs.
How many do I have?
That's the question of the day.
A little bit, yeah.
Solve it and earn yourself anacorn top.
Speaker 01 (03:51):
I'm bewildered.
Speaker 00 (03:52):
Put it on the board.
Speaker 01 (03:54):
Well, that'll make no sense.
Speaker 00 (03:55):
I hope you give us a call next week because we got
some interesting things comingto town.
Like a circus, we have a worldrecord Guinness bookers that
we're going to try for.
So come on back, and we'll talkto you then.
Dave! Dave, clear off thecoffee table.
I'm going to do dancing.
Dancing?
(04:16):
Yes.
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