TAPE 33 - "Rita Comes To Visit"

This recovered tape opens with a critical musical analysis of Led Zeppelin (mistakenly called Heavy Blimps), accused of using “pots and pans” as instruments and expressing “a lot of love” — roughly 600 loves, by one count.

Rita, a long-anticipated seasonal force (or possibly a person), rolls into town early, knocking over Caleb in the process. Her arrival is announced by screaming, thuds, and a haunting playback from last Christmas.

The conversation wanders through town-wide blackouts, mismatched hot dog and hamburger buns from mysterious airdrops, and the difficulty of finding batteries in packs of three for flashlights that require two.

A casino is announced, featuring highly suspect versions of poker (“poke the girl beside you”) and something called Red Jack — which may or may not involve clapping.

Finally, wisdom is sought from the town owl, who unfortunately has been recently taxidermied. A musical number about green lollipops closes out the tape.

Key moments:

• “Dark outs” and makeshift flashlights
• Rita’s destructive descent
• Pseudo-poker rules involving physical poking
• Town owl’s posthumous silence
• Green lollipop confusion: is it apple... or just lollipop?

Send us a text

www.bootstuck.com

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
so i was listening to the guy sing about a lot of
love and i realized that most ofthe instruments in the songs are
pots and pans are you referringto led zeppelin yeah heavy

(00:23):
blimps yep so you've figured outthat they do nothing but pots
and pans And that's what you'redoing.
And then a guy screaming in thebackground.
Or a very angry woman.
Not sure.
Then they come back and theytell more about love.
They got a lot of it.
I think they got about 600 ofthem.
I counted them all myself.
I'm not very good at counting.

(00:43):
That is a lot of love.
Speaking of a lot of love, Iguess Rita is due up there
shortly.
Yeah! Clap your hands for Ritaif you're not underneath her.
Woo! Yep, she's coming.
It's going to be December now.
Uh-oh, I see her coming.
Yep.
Rolling down the hill right now.

(01:04):
Rita.
What is that noise?
Yeah, okay, watch out! Oh.
Caleb got run over by Rita.
Was that Rita?
Was that?
Yeah! That's her! Somewhere atthe top of the hill.
She normally rolls in inDecember.
She sounds like a woman.

(01:25):
If a woman was talking like aguy screaming loudly.
Listen, I got a playback fromher from last Christmas when we
was unwrapping presents.
Listen.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no.
Gotta go.
Like that.
You hear it?
Is she in the woods?
What is that?
That was the sound that camefrom Dave's house.

(01:48):
like that when Dave had thereading lamp.
It's hard to tell because we allhad dark outs.
You ever get a dark out, realdark outside, and then ain't
nobody got lights on the insidetheater?
And then you can't even get afire going because it's real
rainy out?
You ever had one of them darkout times?
What are you on about?
I'll let you answer in a minute.
It was so dark the other timethat what we had to do was we
had to find flashlights.

(02:09):
And we found two of them.
There ain't no batteries,though.
Batteries are coming in packs ofthree.
Flashlight needs two.
It's going to be hard just toget to.
Flashlights and batteries iskind of like hot dog buns and
hot dogs.
Normally when we get an airdrop,we get a box of buns and a box
of hot dogs.
But the buns is for hamburger.
That's different.

(02:30):
I don't even know what to say.
You ever have a hamburger and ahot dog bun?
I've had a hot dog and ahamburger bun.
Yeah, we have that all the time.
We call it, well, we just callit dinner, but what do you call
it?
We call it sticking your wienerout.
Yeah, we do that a lot when wehave blackouts.
The blackout happens.
Did I tell you about that?
When all the lights go whoop andyou can't see no more?

(02:50):
You do what?
Can't see no more.
Yep.
Speaking of casinos, we have onecoming to town.
Yep.
Woo.
You ever play...
I'll let you answer in a minute.
You know poker?
Yeah.
Poker.
Tell me if you know it.
You sit around a table and theygive you a bunch of cards.
You know that one?
You get five cards and then yougotta poke the girl beside you

(03:10):
and then if she'll take one ofyour cards away then you got
four so you'll have to pokesomebody else so You get all
your cards back.
I'll let you answer in a minute.
I think that's poker.
Red Jack's a different game.
You've got to put money down,and if you get a Red Jack, whoo,
clap your hands because you'regoing to win like that.
I'm very interested, too.
know more about your casino.

(03:31):
Tell me, where is the casinolocated?
What's the building?
Right in the center of town.
Yeah.
We built a roundabout.
You ever hear about aroundabout?
Yeah.
No?
I'll let you answer in a minute.
Like that.
Do you have any words of...
You always ask me that.
And I always turn to the owlbecause he's the most wise.
And let's see what he saystoday.

(03:53):
Oh.
Uh...
Maybe another question for mebecause we got the owl
taxidermied last week, so hedoesn't really have much more
wisdom.
What?
I'll sing a song if you don'tmind.
Green lollipop, woo, lollipop,woo.
You know, whenever I had a greenlollipop, I was always

(04:13):
wondering, is it going to begreen apple or lollipop?
Woo!