TAPE 40 - Pastels, Pontiacs, and Psychiatrists

Tape 40 opens with an image that’s equal parts slapstick and unsettling: Caleb, attempting what he calls “skywalking,” ties his shoelaces around his hands until he can’t breathe, only to be spun around, slapped on the backside, and sent rolling down a hill like a roly-poly bug. Inexplicably, Hat Guy leaves the room mid sentence to holler a bunch of cattle off the front lawn. From there, the conversation shifts to springtime, a subject taken with Bootstuck’s usual logic: last year it meant Caleb strapping springs to his shoes; this year it will mean scattering springs across the forest floor so that no matter where you step, “it’s always spring.”

The discussion meanders through maroon Pontiacs, pastel colors, and the persistent complaint that everyone in Bootstuck interrupts each other. Dave drifts in with thoughts on gas mileage, while a failed attempt to spell “psychiatrist” leads to the revelation that Bootstuck has no doctors for the mind—only one who deals with ingrown toenails. Mental health, it seems, is handled socially: if someone feels blue, Steven paints them red until they’re a different color and “all’s good.”

The tape ends with a plan for a “fashion show at lunch,” a recurring event that involves burlap sacks and questionable creativity. While most will opt for the simple hole-in-the-top approach, Dave apparently intends to fashion burlap chaps—an idea received with the confused question: “You can see your bones?”

Tape 40 is as fractured as it is vivid: a portrait of a town where footwear physics, psychiatry, and lunchtime couture share equal importance, and where coherence is always just out of reach.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 00 (00:00):
I'm sorry, but we're going to have to go now.
Caleb came up to me with shoesin his hand about three moons
ago.
I was thinking he was going togo do skywalking again.
What he done did is tie hislaces up on his hands so tight,
tight, tight, tight, tight,tight, tight, that you couldn't

(00:21):
even see where he was breathing.
So what we did is we turned himaround and slapped him on his
bottom and sent him walking downhis hands down the hill.
Now, he didn't get too far.
Well, he did, but not walking.
He started rolling like aroly-poly-oly, and there he
goes.
You know them bugs?
You know them bugs?
They got a little, uh, like,uh...
Since I've started calling youon a regular basis, I've also

(01:02):
started taking Xanax.
Oh, that's nice.
I had a van once too.
Oh, God.
That's okay.
Most things around here aren'timportant.
We take our time with theimportant things, and then we
just go ahead and leave theother stuff alone.
Okay.
I have been asked to inquireabout springtime.
Our springtime is comingshortly.
Oh, yeah.
Springtime.

(01:23):
Round the corner.
Yep.
That's okay.
I'll let you answer in aminute.
Last spring was Caleb's firstspring, and he put springs on
his shoes.
I see.
He had it all wrong.
No, different story.
Now we're just going to putsprings all over the ground in
the forest.
So it doesn't really matterwhere you start.
It's always going to be spring.
But we'll wait till April.
What do you do for spring?
What do I do for spring?
Yeah.
I'll let you answer in aminute.

(01:44):
I put on a raincoat.
We change our...
That's lighter.
Maroon is dark.
Think about a maroon color fora minute.
Hang on, I'm speaking.
Think about a maroon color fora minute.
Like in an old Pontiac.
And then think about how itwould be nicer if it were
pastel.
Go ahead.
Another question people wantedto know.

(02:04):
Yep, I'll let them know.
Yeah, is why people atBootstuck interrupt your
questions all the time.
Well, who said that?
Every listener we have.
Listeners?
You're listening to me and I'mlistening to you.
And sometimes Dave listens onthe other end.
Looking for good gas mileage?
Put the phone down.
No Chevys.

(02:27):
Oh, God.
And no El Camino either.
So, no Chevy dealer right now.
He's not putting it down, buthe's listening in.
I like to put things down,mostly when they're hot.
I'm curious.
I have a question of my own.
Do you have psychiatrists upthere?
Yeah, we do.
We do.
Most of us.
Most of you?
Yeah.
What's a psychiatrist?
Oh, God.
We've got a big board of bigwords.

(02:48):
Can you spell it for me?
P-I-S-I-F-I...
Good enough.
All right.
Think about it.
Cross it off.
I'm going to use it in aminute.
Supply a treat.
Okay.
Your turn.
A psychiatrist is a doctor thatspecializes in dealing with
problems that occur within one'smind.
Oh, yeah.

(03:08):
We have a doctor that dealswith problems.
Like if you have a toe and anail is sticking on the side, we
have a guy to do that.
That would be a foot doctor.
You don't have anybody up therethat specializes in dealing
with your mind.
We talk a lot around here.
Like, I'm feeling a little bluetoday.
And then Steven would come overand say, that's all right.

(03:29):
and paint me red.
And then it turns me adifferent color and all's good.
I like pastels.
Pastels.
That's lighter.
Maroon is dark.
You ever have a fashion show upthere?
Oh yeah, every time at lunch.
Fashion show, fashion show,fashion show at lunch.

Unknown (03:46):
Woo!

Speaker 00 (03:46):
Yep, we do it.
Everybody, tomorrow we're goingto actually do another one.
We weren't going to, but now weshould because you talked about
it.
Yep, it's not advised to do afashion show, fashion show,
fashion show at lunch in thewintertime outside.
Everyone's going to get aburlap sack, and then you've got
to race to make a fashion fromit.
I'm going to go with theconventional, cut a hole in the
top and just put it over yourhead.
I know Dave will probably dosomething like chaps.

(04:09):
Chaps?
Chaps.
You know them?
You can see your bones?

Unknown (04:16):
No.