TAPE 42 -Dave’s Dependency Depot

Bootstuck continues its grand tradition of opening businesses that should not exist. Fish Beach, the town’s only two-fish restaurant, is thriving thanks to its “hooking parties,” while Tongues and Toes — the shoe-store-coffee-house hybrid that once served cups of Joe’s literal ashes — is finally closing its doors. (Don’t worry, the locals are going back to drinking gravy.)

The conversation drifts to childhood snacks (wagon wheels, children — same thing), oddly colored elbows, and Bootstuck’s unusual take on pharmacy services. At Dave’s Dependency Depot, you can get everything from red licorice to Viagra, depending on Dave’s mood and availability. No one’s worried about addiction because, as the caller insists, “everybody’s doing it.”

A nap may be the only safe prescription.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Catching up with some of your older projects.
How's Fish Beach?
the restaurant doing?
Fish

SPEAKER_00 (00:18):
each?
Fish each is doing pretty good.
Yeah.
We got a whole supply of fishesnow.
So now you can have two.
Yeah.
But only a big one and a smallone.
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
I see.
And how's the response been fromthe locals?

SPEAKER_00 (00:30):
Oh, yeah.
They love it when we gethooking.
There's a big thing around herenow.
We start a whole big hookingparty.
Woo! Everybody comes andeverybody yells and everybody
says, more! More! Caleb andfriends, yeah, he's got another
guy now.
We don't know his name and hegoes like this.
Think of name is Squirly.
We're going to give him a newname tomorrow.
They've been hooking non-stop.
Yep, yep, yep, yep,

SPEAKER_01 (00:51):
yep.
How did Tongues and Toes...

SPEAKER_00 (00:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (00:55):
Tongues and Toes is where all of you went for a cup
of Joe powder.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_00 (00:59):
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nobody's drinking Joe anymore.
No.
We ran out of his ashes.
So we're going to switch rightback to gravy again.
And Tongues and Toes is going tobe closed most days except
tomorrow.
Do you want to come down to haveone before it closes up forever,
ever?

SPEAKER_01 (01:15):
If I could...
Hang on, I'm Joe's

SPEAKER_00 (01:17):
ashes?
Did you not notice

SPEAKER_01 (01:28):
it tasted

SPEAKER_00 (01:28):
different?

SPEAKER_01 (01:30):
Okay, so Tongues and Toes is no more.

SPEAKER_00 (01:34):
Yeah, no more shoe stores closed.
Yeah, Tongues and Toes wasactually a shoe store that just
never got kicked off right.
It was on wrong foot most of thetime.
Think about it.
It didn't light up, but what wedid is we painted it bright
colors.
and put a mirror on top, so it'skind of like the pyramids.
We look at it every day.
Yeah, mythical.
Man, cross that one off theboard.

(01:55):
You didn't think I'd use it.
We got ourselves a real bigboard now.
We add six squares to it, so wecan add more words if we know
how to spell it.
I see.
Woo! We used to eat children.
Yep.
They were good.
They came in a little package.
Yep.
And you'd get four of them, andthen you'd put them on top of
something, and they'd roll itaround a little bit and go,

(02:16):
yee-haw! Wagon wheels.
Like that.
And you eat them all.

SPEAKER_01 (02:23):
We never did that.
We just ate them.

SPEAKER_00 (02:25):
That's all right.
We all do things differently.
Look at your elbows and tell mewhat color they are today.
It's hard to do and it's hard tosee and it's hard to tell.
And I don't know what's going tohappen if you did.

SPEAKER_01 (02:34):
It's funny you say that because one of them is
flesh colored and the other oneis blue and yellow.

SPEAKER_00 (02:38):
Oh, oh, maybe you was leaning on it and thinking.
You think?

SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
I've asked you before, haven't I?
If you have a pharmacy up there.

SPEAKER_00 (02:45):
Yeah, we got a pharmacy.
It's nice.
We're growing some leafy greensthis year.
Growing quite tall.
Six feet already.
Stocks the size of my arm.

SPEAKER_01 (02:53):
So you don't have like a pharmacy where you
dispense medications and drugs?

SPEAKER_00 (02:58):
Yeah, sure we do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You do?
Yeah, kind of.
It's Dave's Dependency Depot.
Yeah, if you depend onsomething, you can go see Dave
and he'll hook you up and getyou all sorted out.
Like, I depend on a red ropelicorice twice a week.
Dave's got it.

SPEAKER_01 (03:12):
It's not really...
So you go to Dave's DependencyDepot to get a red licorice whip
and Xanax.

SPEAKER_00 (03:19):
Yeah, you can get what you like, though.
That's what I like.
Some people like...
Hang on, I'm speaking.
Sorry about that.
Some people like Tootsie Rolls.
I don't.
And some people like marijuana.
Viagra.
Depending on what Dave's gottoday, he can get you sorted
out.
It's also mostly dependent on ifDave's there or not.

SPEAKER_01 (03:37):
So there is a drug problem in Bootstuck.
Well, I'm

SPEAKER_00 (03:40):
not saying...
No! We got it under control.
Everybody's doing it.
It's great.
Yep, yep.
Red rope licorice.
Woo!

UNKNOWN (03:49):
Woo!

SPEAKER_00 (03:51):
You must

SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
take a lot

SPEAKER_00 (03:55):
of naps.