Tape 45 – Face Eyes and Moon Howls

Bootstuck begins the day with a greeting both dramatic and obvious: “Here I am. Look at my face eyes.” From there, the conversation turns lunar. The townsfolk celebrate the moon depending on its fullness—full moons get full howls, half moons get hoots, and cloudy nights simply mean supper. This tradition, naturally, comes from a wild dog.

Dinner is also a focus, thanks to the arrival of 72 cans of dinosaur soup. The red-sauced noodles shaped like brontosauruses and spiky dinosaurs quickly become the new staple, though the question remains whether a brontosaurus tastes different from, say, a camel-shaped cracker.

Between meals and moonlight, Bootstuck’s radios start pulling in mysterious commercials, including one particularly insistent ad for “Ributon” or maybe “Rabutol,” promising to cure tiredness with suspicious zeal. The cross-talk raises questions about whether they’re speaking to the outside world or just another misfired frequency.

Finally, the town hints at its next big ambition: “Building Bootstuck”—a television program to document their expansion, exposure, and maybe even notoriety. Press is press, after all, and in Bootstuck there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

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Episode Transcript

UNKNOWN (00:00):
Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 (00:10):
Here I am.
Right here.
I haven't moved.
It's me.
Look at me in my face eyes.
Here I am.

SPEAKER_01 (00:18):
I can hear you now.

SPEAKER_02 (00:20):
It's a new day.
It's a new day and the sun isshining.
Here I am.
Last night the moon was outside.
Is that right?
Half of them anyway.
The other half must have been onvacation.
Maybe in the south.

SPEAKER_01 (00:32):
Right.
Do the people at Bootstuff doanything special to celebrate
the moon?

SPEAKER_02 (00:37):
Yep, we certainly do.
We do a howl once in a while.
when the moon becomes all theway here.
And when it's only halfway here,sometimes we just do a little
hoot, and sometimes we just lookat it and light a candle because
it's not as bright as it shouldbe.
Understood?

SPEAKER_01 (00:51):
No.
So you howl at the moon.

SPEAKER_02 (00:53):
We do.
We like to.
Yeah.
When it's all the way turned on.
We got that idea from a wilddog.
Wild dog was outside going, andwe said, wow, what's he all
going about?
And then we looked upside, top,top, nightlight, whoo, real
bright.
So we did it too.
Then the clouds came and we wentfor supper.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12):
Well, that's good.
Speaking of

SPEAKER_02 (01:14):
supper, hang on, I'm speaking.
We got a new Dropbox team lastweek, Thursday.
Wednesday or Tuesday?
Thursday.
Tuesday.
Not too sure.
Thursday.
But we got one.
And guess what we got?
Dinosaur soup.

SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Dinosaur soup.

SPEAKER_02 (01:26):
Comes in a can.

SPEAKER_01 (01:27):
Yep.
Right.
It's got the noodles that are inthe shape of dinosaurs.

SPEAKER_02 (01:31):
Yeah, dinosaur-shaped noodles in a red
sauce.
It's got a brontosaurus.
How many cans did you get?
Yeah, we built dinosaurs.

SPEAKER_01 (01:38):
How many cans did you get?
72

SPEAKER_02 (01:39):
cans Thursday.
Wednesday or Tuesday Thursday 72cans of dinosaur soup and we
want to know the rest of ourinventory that we got this
weekend coming up the last time

SPEAKER_01 (01:48):
sure

SPEAKER_02 (01:48):
we also got cauliflower

SPEAKER_01 (01:50):
72 cans

SPEAKER_02 (01:52):
hang on I'm speaking we just put it in the water and
let it sit there for an hour anda half and then we all stabbed
at it I don't know if they wastraditional to like cave people
if they really ate dinosaur soupI'm not sure so I need you to
remember it's not real dinosaurs

SPEAKER_01 (02:06):
oh I was aware of that

SPEAKER_02 (02:08):
okay then we that's a good one we're gonna have it
for or supper, I'll let you knowif a brontosaurus and a
spiky-haired dinosaur taste the

SPEAKER_01 (02:14):
same.
You know, we

SPEAKER_02 (02:15):
had crackers one time that was the shape of a
hippopotamus and a camel, and Ican tell you, they taste the
same.

SPEAKER_01 (02:22):
They're just shapes.

SPEAKER_02 (02:25):
Speaking of songs, we heard a radio advertisement
thing come around on thespeakerphone.
It was just like...

SPEAKER_00 (02:34):
Is this the way you feel in the morning?
Too tired?
Too often?
Try Ributon Mr.
Daniel Spillane.
Still tired after a good night'ssleep?
Too dragged out and nervous toface the day?
I was feeling tired.
Too tired, tired.
Too often?
I was feeling tired.
My wife heard about Rabutol onthe radio.

UNKNOWN (02:55):
Try Rabutol.

SPEAKER_00 (02:57):
After taking it, I feel full of...

SPEAKER_02 (03:01):
I get those

SPEAKER_01 (03:03):
too.
When I'm trying to contact you,sometimes the signal crosses
over and I get some sort ofradio station from somewhere
else.
So what was the

SPEAKER_02 (03:12):
commercial for?
It was talking about somethinglike that.
It was a type of commercial.
It was weird.
It just came off allscritchy-scratchy on the radio
like somebody was trying to playDJ with my 45.

SPEAKER_01 (03:23):
Yeah, we get a lot of commercials, actually, when
we try and talk to you.
We've also talked to people thatwe thought were from Bootstuck,
but they were just radiooperators from other areas.
So, you know, crossover.

SPEAKER_02 (03:35):
Yeah, we have a crossover here.
Woo! Building Bootstuck.

SPEAKER_01 (03:39):
Building Bootstuck.
Is there plans to expandBootstuck?
Are you looking to...
We're hoping that

SPEAKER_02 (03:45):
a television program show wants to come and do a film
about us building boat stuff.
That would be a good time forus, and then we'd get a lot of
exposure.
You know, even without a slogan,though.

SPEAKER_01 (03:55):
I don't think that's the kind of exposure you're
looking for.
Well, I

SPEAKER_02 (03:59):
don't think it really matters.
Anything that grabs attention isgood exposure.
You ever hear the saying thatthere's no bad press, except...

SPEAKER_00 (04:10):
I'll owe you there.