When Everything Clicks: Unforgettable Sex

What makes sex truly extraordinary? In this episode, we're diving deep into our most unforgettable sexual experiences and uncovering the surprising factors that contribute to mind-blowing intimacy.

Recent studies show that many Gen X women are having the best sex of their lives after 45 – and we're here to confirm it! We explore why maturity brings better sexual experiences, from increased body confidence to improved partner selection and willingness to communicate our desires. As Jane reveals, "Sex isn't something that you do but it's a place that you go with somebody that you trust."

The conversation takes exciting turns as Etienne shares her strategic affair with a nightclub manager that ended a toxic relationship while delivering multiple orgasms that literally cured her sugar cravings. Heidi recounts her mind-blowing introduction to squirting orgasms with a skilled dominant partner who transformed her understanding of pleasure. And Jane describes a cinematic first-time experience with her high school crush that reads like a John Hughes movie come to life.

Throughout our stories, common themes emerge: attentiveness, communication, and responsiveness make all the difference in creating extraordinary sexual experiences. We also discuss practical tips for maintaining excitement in long-term relationships, including Jane's suggestion that lingerie creates a "reframing" effect that keeps things fresh even after decades with the same partner.

Whether you're looking to enhance your current relationship or simply enjoy our candid stories, this episode offers insights that might just lead to the best sex of your life. Have you discovered what makes your intimate experiences truly exceptional? We'd love to hear your thoughts!

Send us a text

Email us at [e-mail], and find us on all the socials. Be safe and be excellent to each other.

Episode Transcript

Etienne (00:02):
Welcome listeners.
This is Women Are Plotting.
I'm Etienne Rose Olivier, andI'm here with my friends and
co-hosts, Heidi Willis and JaneGari.
Today's episode will be talkingabout the best sex of our lives
and for today's fun fact, I'mactually talking about not just

(00:23):
fun facts, but interesting facts.
If any one of today's episodelisteners are men wanting to
have sex with women, please payattention to my interesting or
fun fact for today.
I did read a full Reddit postcalled Ladies describe the best
sex you've ever had and why wasit the best?
And something that came up overand over again was the men were

(00:44):
good communicators andattentive to their partner's
needs.
This is not as common as menmight think.
I've had close to 100 sexpartners and many did not pay
attention or ask what I wanted,or if I told them what I wanted,
some of them refused to do it.
It's not something crazy either, just normal stuff.
And if this goes both ways,everyone having sex should pay

(01:08):
attention to their partner'sneeds and communicate with them,
whether or not you think you'veguessed correctly what you
think they want.
So that's my interesting factfor today.
And, Jane, what is your funfact for today?

Jane (01:22):
I looked at a study that was conducted in 2022 by the
Phonetic Wellbeing Group andthey said that one third of
their respondents were havingthe most satisfying sex of their
lives after the age of 45.
So I found that that reassuringand something to continue to

(01:48):
enjoy, because that's certainlytrue for me.
And when you were talking aboutyour magical number of sex
partners, that would make mathfor you really easy, like you
could just kind of conduct yourown study by saying 5%.
You could just tally up and belike these
five percent were great
yes, and 77% did not listen to what I wanted, even

(02:14):
when that want and desire wasexplicitly expressed

Etienne (02:19):
yeah One of them didn't respond, even
though I told him repeatedly,at least five times in a row
Nope, that's not hard enough.
That's not hard enough, Goharder.
He's like, literally I've nevergone this hard on anybody
before and I'm like are you sureyou've slept with other people
Because I'm pretty sure I'm notabnormal.
Sorry, I just want to throwthat in there.

Jane (02:42):
Just being responsive is not that nuts.
But I do think that maybe thereason why people are having
more satisfying sex lives asthey get older is because you
know yourself more, you're moremature and you express what you
want, and then you're morereceptive to somebody else doing
that.
So, heidi, what's yourfun fact

Heidi (03:03):
So mine is, and I think I sent this article to you guys
too.
So I found an article on NewYork Times in February called
why Gen X Women Are Having theBest Sex.
So basically just article aboutthe reasons why our generation
might be having the best sex oftheir lives.

(03:27):
And she said similar thingslike we're more comfortable with
ourselves, we don't havehangups about our bodies, we're
more willing to express what wewant and need and yeah, so I
agree,

Etienne (03:46):
I agree

Heidi (03:48):
the best sex.
We're also willing to exploreand explore fantasies and try
out things.
So, and if you can find awilling partner

Etienne (04:00):
yeah and I was also thinking that none of this
didn't mention any of these inyour surveys, it looks like, or
in your studies, but I bet youit also has to do with having
better sex after in our fortiesor 45 and above is because maybe
we've also might be better atchoosing our partners that we're
having sex with, like we cansense that this person might

(04:22):
actually be good at sex.
They're paying attention to me,they're listening to what I'm
saying in a conversation withour clothes on, like they're
actually engaged.
So if they're going to beengaged in a clothed, normal
public situation, then they'reprobably going to be engaged
with us in a private, close offsituation.

Heidi (04:39):
Yeah maybe

Jane (04:40):
That makes a lot of sense and I can only speak to my
personal experience.
I'm 51.
That makes a lot of sense and Ican only speak to my personal
experience.
I'm 51.
And I am currently having thebest sex of my life, and I'm not
going to go into detail BecauseI am married.
I've been married for over 20years and been with the same
person, having sex with the sameperson my husband for 24.

(05:01):
I'm bad at math.
Anyway, it's been a minute

Etienne (05:05):
Wait, you don't know how many.
Oh wait, because you have to addup before you're married.

Jane (05:08):
Right, Right, right.
Courtship and that but I'm verylucky in that my husband hands
down is the best sex of my lifeand I know that that's not the
case for some folks.
But when you were talking aboutfeeling connected and
responsive and having goodconversation and emotional
engagement, when you're inclothed settings, I mean to me I

(05:29):
just feel like if you're withthe right person right and you
are engaged and care about thatperson and you feel connected to
them and you feel safe withthem and vulnerable, and then
you can kind of take thisjourney together.
I actually love Esther Perel.
She's a sex therapist and justwonderful woman.

(05:52):
She has TED Talks all over theplace and she talks about how
sex isn't something that you dobut it's a place that you go and
with somebody that you trust,and to me that is like the best
sex advice I've ever heard.
But it also is very true and Iwill say that if you're looking
to keep things spicy in a longterm relationship so that it

(06:16):
does become the best sex of yourlife if it's not currently, you
know, if you're, if you'remarried and you're thinking
about some boyfriend you hadfive years ago being the best
sex, but you love the personyou're with now more, and you're
connected with them.
But you're trying to figure outhow to make that better.
Because people have asked methis like how could you say that
about being with the sameperson for two decades and that

(06:36):
it just it keeps getting better?
And I'm not saying that in in,uh, I'm not lying it.
It keeps getting better.
But one of the things that Ithink does this is going to
sound so stupid, but this iswhat's worked for me is
different outfits.
Hear me out.
Hear me out.
If you have a picture in yourhouse and you're looking at it

(06:58):
every day, it could have beenyour favorite picture ever, your
favorite painting.
It's like some I don't know VanGogh print and you're like I
could look at this forever.
But if it's hanging in the sameplace in your house for two
decades, you kind of stop seeingit and you could take that same
picture.
You love it, it's your favorite.

(07:19):
Get it rematted, put adifferent frame on it, maybe
hang it up in a different roomand a slightly different angle,
and now you're like you lovethat picture in a new way.
Now, now you're looking at it,it's been carefully curated
right when.
Now you're like oh, I didn'trealize that the way that those
colors are and just the nuancesare there and just the texture,

(07:40):
like oh, that matches the pillowon the couch.
So I feel like lingerie for mehas been something kind of
similar.
You're framing your body, andyour mindset along with it,
sometimes in a different waythat makes you feel like you're
trying on a differentpersonality, maybe, or it makes
you feel sexy, or just it'sframing your body in a way
that's new to your partner, sothat they can visit your house

(08:02):
in a different way and maybe payattention to things in a new
way, because you're literallypresenting it in a new way.
And I know that sounds kind ofstupid, but it has definitely
worked and I've spent a lot ofmoney on lingerie over the years
and it has worked.
And so that even when therewould be a time where I was like
, ok, I just had a baby, I am soexhausted I don't know if I'm

(08:28):
feeling it and then you putsomething hot and spicy on,
you're like, oh, I'm feeling it.
Now you catch a glimpse ofyourself and like, ok, I have
framed this picture in anentirely new way to me now.
Now I feel a little bit betterabout myself walking into a room
and saying, like you know, getit.
You know, so I just that's,that's our secret.
I'm not going to get into likedetailed details, but that's, I

(08:50):
think, framing.
It's all that framing

Etienne (08:54):
Well, I feel like now, next time I go over to your
house, jane, I'm gonna have toask to like see some of your
lingerie collections.
I had no idea it was so giantlike

Heidi (09:02):
and expensive

Etienne (09:03):
Is it expensive too, or just giant?

Jane (09:05):
I go to this website called spicylingeriecom.
They did not pay me to say that, but that's very cheap.
We actually jokingly call itcheapsexycom, but it's just
because I'm buying new thingsfrequently.
It's the compounded investmentin sex clothing over the years.

(09:26):
And this is like fully on mybrain today because my daughter
was out of the house all morningso I was washing.
You have to hand wash all ofthese things.
It's just like a bathtub justfull of you know, three months
worth of sex clothes.

Etienne (09:40):
Oh, my God

Heidi (09:40):
oh my God

Jane (09:43):
Because you have to hand wash them.
Yeah, yeah, but then you haveto hand wash them.
Yeah, yeah, but then you haveto hang them up to dry.
And I know she knows what theyare now that she's older and we
just don't ever talk about it.
She comes into my bathroom.
She sees them hanging all overthe place and she just still
says, you know, we're out ofpaper towels, and then looks
around and just walks out.

Etienne (10:09):
Wait, jane, you know what you need to get brazen
enough to get one of thoseold-timey freaking closed
hanging things for your backyard.
That requires the concreteblock with the giant thing that
comes out and high enough whereyour neighbors can see it and it
just spins in the wind Likewhen you're when you wash your
lingerie.
Just be brazen enough to hangyour lingerie outside and just
like dry the wind.

Jane (10:27):
It would be more efficient .
You're talking about the onesthat look like weird combination
of a metal umbrella and a TVantenna from the 70s,

Etienne (10:34):
exactly, yeah, yeah.
Yeah

Jane (10:37):
yeah, I would be afraid that a bird would shed on it

Heidi (10:39):
you'd get a whole neighborhood talking.

Etienne (10:42):
Just don't put it under a tree.
I guess that would probablysave you a little bit.
Oh, you could get a bigumbrella to go over it to like
protect you, protect it from thebird poo.

Jane (10:52):
Oh my goodness.
But yeah

Heidi (10:55):
this is becoming a whole operation
yeah

Etienne (10:58):
just because I wanted to like have beautiful,
windswept dried lingerie thatsmells like flowers and like the
outdoors.
Yes, in a good way

Heidi (11:11):
but then it's pollen season, so

Etienne (11:13):
oh no, yeah I'm sorry

Jane (11:14):
oh my gosh, they'd all be yellow.

Etienne (11:16):
Oh

Heidi (11:16):
yellow, can you?
imagine

Etienne (11:18):
oh god, yeah, very

Heidi (11:20):
you're into sexy time and like everybody starts sneezing.
There's like yellow poofs goingon.

Etienne (11:32):
Yellow, yellow,

Jane (11:37):
oh Lord.
So with the best sex of yourlife?
I'm sure there was no polleninvolved.

Etienne (11:41):
Oh, who's

Jane (11:43):
dishing

Etienne (11:43):
Well actually I have three best sex
stories, but I'm going to startwith one, and only one of them
happened before I was in my 40s.
So the first one is with me inmy 20s and the other two are
definitely in the 40s.
So I basically skipped likedecades between my best sex.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's fine the first one.

(12:04):
I have to set it up a little,because I was 23 years old,
living in Los Angeles, and thiswas in the early 90s and it was
Grunge era, and I had aboyfriend who was a concert
promoter and it was lovelyhaving a concert promoter
boyfriend and the Grunge era,because I got to like be
backstage, I got to go tomusician parties and it was just

(12:27):
very, very chic and wonderful.
The downside was that he wasn'tthe best sort of person.
He was kind of a jerk, like anasshole.
Let's just be out now.
He was an asshole and he wassuch an asshole that when I
would be out and about with himbecause he loved having me as
arm candy he was just a littlebit older than me.

(12:47):
He was like two years olderthan me, so it wasn't like this
crazy May-December romance.
We were just around the sameage basically.
But his friends and colleagueswould say to me right in front
of him what are you doing withVlad?
I'm just calling him Vlad,that's not his real name, but
what are you doing with Vlad?
He's a fucking asshole.
I'm like, oh no, vlad's nice tome Behind closed doors.

(13:09):
He's totally different whenit's just him and me, and that
was not true.
I mean, vlad wasn't quite asbad behind closed doors as he
was out in public, but he wasnot the best, and our sex life
was not the best either.
I was definitely not gettingthe sex that I would have liked,
in any sense of the word, and Itried to break up with him one

(13:32):
time.
Actually, I did break up withhim.
It lasted for about a week.
We'd been living together and Ibroke up with him and
immediately got together with myboss at the time and I was
working as a temp, so he wasn'tlike a boss that I'd have to be
around if things went bad,because things did go bad, and
pretty quickly actually, andVlad came back to the apartment

(13:53):
that we were sharing just tolike pack up the rest of his
things and we had sex and gotback together and I was like,
god damn it, I'm back where Istarted, but we didn't live
together again.
But fast forward.
A year goes by and we're stilltogether and he's actually
gotten up in the world at thispoint.
He's gone from being a concertpromoter to being a music

(14:15):
executive.
He went from making like hardlyany money but having a lot of
perks, to having oh, he's gotmoney, like money, money, you
know.
And I need to break up with him.
And he had two previousgirlfriends before me and both
of those times thoserelationships ended because he
found out they cheated on him.
So I was figuring things out andfinally figured out that, you

(14:37):
know, I think the only way toget rid of him is I have to
cheat on him.
I have to do this.
This is the only way to do itand it's going to stick.
I can't just try to do it thenormal way and cross my fingers
and hope it works out for thebest, because we need to make
this permanent.
This has to be done.
I can't do this anymore.
So I did actually have an affairwith a married man first, but I
didn't find out about that one,even though I wrote about it in

(14:57):
my journal.
We didn't live together, so himhaving access to my journal was
more shortened, so he didn'tfind out about that.
One immediately found out aboutthat later, after the second
guy.
So the second guy was actuallythe manager of this really
famous club called the Dragonfly, and this club is so famous

(15:18):
that Keanu Reeves band playedthere back at the time that
we're talking about, back in theearly 90s, and, like other
famous bands, played there justfor fun, because it was that
cool and hip to be there.
And this guy he's 10 yearsolder than me, by the way, so
he's older Vlad had gone awayfor the weekend.
He had to go to some businesstrip in New York City and I went

(15:39):
out with a girlfriend of mineand we went to the Dragonfly and
as soon as we saw this guy, hisname was Chuck, chuck LaValle,
that's his real name.
He's no longer with us in thisworld anymore, unfortunately,
but yeah, I looked him up andfound out through Facebook that
he did die of liver failure.
But she saw him in the crowdand she's like, oh God, chuck.

(15:59):
And I'm like, yeah, chuck's hot.
She's like, oh no, I've sleptwith Chuck and I'm like what
was that like Immediatelywanting to know.
And she's like, oh my God, hewent down on me forever, he put
handcuffs on me, it was the best.
And I'm like, did you do itagain?
She's like, no, it onlyhappened the one time, and I

(16:20):
don't know why.
And I'm like, oh okay.
So he saw me and he came overto where we were hanging out, me
and my friend, and I introducedhim to my friend, even though I
knew he knew her, just to bepolite and act like we weren't
talking about him.
And he's like, oh no, I knowAndy, yeah, we've met before and

(16:43):
I'm like, oh, you know what?
I want to get a different drink.
I'm going to go catch up toChuck, I'll be right back.
I didn't really want adifferent drink.
I wanted to go talk to Chuckfor a second and this is a big
crowd of people and super loud,so you had to be like right up
against somebody to talk to them, which was awesome.
And also, let me pause for asecond and tell you what I was
wearing because this is allgreat.

(17:08):
I was wearing my mother's 1970snightgown that was almost
see-through it was not thatsee-through, but it was pretty
see-through and I was wearingthis bright pink wonder bra
because I did not have breastsreally at the time and bright
pink underwear and combat bootsand that's what I was wearing
and yeah, so I stopped Chuck andI'm like, hey, I heard you and

(17:31):
Andy had some times.
He's like, oh God, he was likeI, yeah, um, yeah, we, we did,
we did have sex one time.
And I'm like, oh, and I couldtell from his face this was not
a good memory for him and I'mlike, well, wait, what's wrong?
And he's like, oh, he's likeshe just sort of laid there and

(17:53):
he this was his words, he saidlike a dead fish.
And I'm like, oh god, okay,well, I'm really sorry that you
had that experience.
She's's like going off about it.
She had a great time.
He's like, well, I would neverhave known that.
Like she did not show any kindof response and I'm like, well,
I mean, it's too bad you hadthat experience.

(18:15):
I think you deserve to havesomebody that can appreciate
what you can do in the bedroom.
And I just completely pausedand looked him in the eyes, like
really hard.
And he was like, is Vlad comingtonight?
He meant like out.
And I'm like, no, no, vlad's inNew York City.
He's coming back Sunday night.
And he's like, oh, okay.

(18:36):
And I'm like, yeah, and I alsoheard that you live on Beachwood
.
And he's like, yeah, I do.
I'm like I live on Beachwood.
And he's like what?
And I told I described thebuilding that I lived in because
it was a very famous buildingon Beachwood.
Of course, I lived like in thebasement apartment.
That was super scary, but itlooked like a castle and
everybody knows this building.
If you lived on Beachwood,which is actually the street

(18:57):
that leads up to, at the verytop of the street, it looks like
the Hollywood sign is wherethat street is.
To give anybody who doesn'tknow LA some geography there,
he's like you live in thatbuilding.
He's like I live across thestreet.
And I'm like, oh really.
I said what time do you get offwork?
He was like I should be home bythree and I'm like it's not too

(19:20):
late, it's a pretty good time.
I'm like, hmm, well, how aboutthis?
If you call me when you gethome, I will walk across the
street.
I will only be wearing highheels, a trench coat and nothing
underneath.
And he's like, okay, he's likeI will call you.

(19:41):
So I actually had to give himmy phone number, but yeah, so
yeah, I seriously like he did.
He called me and I did.
I walked across the street witha trench coat, high heels and
nothing underneath and, my God,I had such a reception when I
walked in his door.
He opened the door for me andthen went across the room.
I think he wanted just to enjoylike watching me walk into his

(20:04):
room and I just opened my trenchcoat to show him.
I was completely naked and hecame over and took over from
there, like that was all I hadto do, and I remember him
pulling out handcuffs andhandcuffing me to the bed.
I think he must have had twopairs, or I can't remember if he
had two pairs or I had one.
I can't remember that part.

(20:25):
This was a long time ago,obviously.
But yeah, he threw me on thebed and went down on me for,
like I definitely had an orgasmand like we had sex for hours.
We had sex for hours and thiswas during a time too in Los

(20:46):
Angeles you can get a lot ofthings delivered 24 hours a day,
thank God.
And we actually had sex longenough that we ordered a pizza,
I think from Domino's orsomething.
I took a break, had some pizza,went back at it again and,
looking back, I think this wasthe first time in my life where
I ever had sex for multiplehours, like with breaks and then
going back to sex, like you'rejust having breaks for the

(21:08):
refractory period for the man tobe able to recharge.
I had so many orgasms, oh myGod.
I mean after having Vlad as myboyfriend forever and not having
.
I mean having sex and havingorgasms, but not not anywhere
close to this.
Like it's unbelievable.
And uh.
One other great tidbit from thestory is I used to have before

(21:33):
the night with Chuck, I had areally, really horrible sugar
craving for hard candy.
I used to have hard.
I could be in my apartment at11 o'clock at night and suddenly
need lemon heads and I would goand get and I had to park on
the street, general like publicparking, and if you moved your
car at any point in time becauseof where I lived, you could

(21:53):
lose that spot.
I had a craving so bad that Iwould get in my car, move it,
drive to the store and go gethard candy.
Come back and just pray that myparking spot was still there,
like trying to go as fast aspossible.
But that was how bad my sugarcraving was.
And after that night with him,with Chuck, my sugar craving was

(22:14):
gone.
I didn't have it anymore.

Heidi (22:16):
He cured you.

Etienne (22:17):
Yeah, he fucked the craving out of me like
completely.

Jane (22:21):
Maybe his semen changed your microbiome so much that you
just didn't need it anymoregetting scientific.

Etienne (22:30):
Oh my god oh, vlad did find out about this though, by
the way, and that did end ourrelationship, but yeah that was

Jane (22:38):
mission accomplished

Etienne (22:40):
It did yeah, mission and for god, I mean, it was sex
that was worth it I mean, I knew, I knew that was the whole
point, but like

Heidi (22:47):
did you ever get with Chuck again?

Etienne (22:49):
I did.
We got together a couple moretimes.
Actually, it stopped when Vladfound out and Chuck got mad.
He was like how did you let himfind out?
And I'm like I don't know.
He just read my journal.
That's not my fault, I justplayed it off like I didn't do
it on purpose.
So he was like, yeah, yeah, no,and he actually was moving to
New York, he was about to becomea music agent in New York City,

(23:10):
so he was going up in the worldand Vlad, actually for a while
there, tried to get his jobcanceled and he did, I think for
a bit he got Chuck's jobcanceled, but then it must have
been refurbished because he dideventually become an agent at
William Morris Agency in NewYork City.
So he did get that jobeventually.
But yeah, him getting thatdelayed and his move to New York

(23:30):
delayed was my fault.
I feel bad about that, as I wasnot trying to ruin his life.
I was trying to have a goodtime and get rid of my horrible
boyfriend.
Yeah, oh God

Heidi (23:43):
Mission accomplished.
Yeah, my first great sex wasalso early 20s, in the 90s, and
it was the first guy I datedright after my first divorce
from my toxic first husband.
So in fact, I met this guy thenight my divorce paperwork got

(24:05):
approved, wow.
So it was like a bigcelebration.
Went to this party and met Reedand he too is not alive still.
Like, yeah, crazy.
I found out he died a few yearsafter we broke up.
I didn't know for many, manyyears, even after finding old
friends on Facebook, nobody toldme Like I had to find it in a

(24:27):
Google search and found hisobituary.

Etienne (24:30):
Oh, that's so sad.

Heidi (24:31):
Yeah, it was super sad.
Yeah, because if he was aliveright now I would be hunting
that man.
But because we had incrediblesex and so it wasn't even sex or
squirting or anything, it wasjust straight up sex.
I would get so wet justthinking about having sex with

(24:51):
him.
I would just, it would just, ohmy god, we would have
incredible sex.
I would have multiple orgasmsand after our session, like if I
wanted to go get like somethingto drink, I would have to crawl
to his refrigerator.
I couldn't walk, even that'show.
Like incredible, uh, yeah, wow,wow, yeah,

Jane (25:14):
because you were shaking or because you were sore.

Heidi (25:17):
Shaking and just had no control of my limbs.

Etienne (25:20):
Wow.
I can't say that

Heidi (25:23):
yeah, it was like his penis was made for my vagina,
like it was so perfect vagina,like it was so perfect.
Yeah, and yeah, I let mypartners know I'm having a good
time.
So I'm not.
I've never been accused ofbeing a dead fish, um, and yeah,
his roommates would just givehim so much shit because

Etienne (25:45):
oh he had So you would have sex with him
with roommates in the otherrooms or something

Heidi (25:49):
yeah, his roommates would be in their rooms or out in the
living room and we're in thebedroom and yeah, they're
hearing all about it.

Etienne (25:57):
Oh my God.

Heidi (25:58):
So everybody knew we were having amazing sex.

Etienne (26:02):
That's hysterical.

Heidi (26:03):
Yeah, but yeah, yeah, it's really sad that he's dead,
because

Etienne (26:12):
I'm sorry, totally off topic, but do you know how he
died?
I always am curious how peopledie.

Heidi (26:16):
Yeah, so, so yeah, super nice guy, but he wasn't the most
intelligent.
He moved up to Denver and Iguess he was helping somebody
change a tire on the side of theroad and somebody hit him.

Etienne (26:33):
Oh God

Heidi (26:33):
it was like one of those sudden things.
Yeah, yeah I was actually inkorea when this happened and all
of the friends that we hung outwith went to the funeral.
Nobody let me know
that's crazyDid they know that you'd had sex
with them?
Is that why they were like, nottelling you?
Like, maybe because you were,you know, had something, but

(26:54):
then it wasn't on anymore.
Like.
I don't, yeah, I don't know.
So he died in 97, I think, andI didn't find out until 10 years
later.

Etienne (27:03):
Wow

Heidi (27:04):
10 years later.
Yeah.

Etienne (27:06):
And wait.
What year did you have sex withhim?

Heidi (27:09):
Oh, early 90s, I was 21 to 22.
So like 93 to 94.
And then we broke up when Imoved to Utah and that's when I
met my current ex-husband.
I was with him for 20, 27 years.
So, yeah, I went from best sexto decent sex and you know, it

(27:35):
worked for a while and yeah,until it didn't

Etienne (27:39):
oh gosh

Heidi (27:41):
But then getting a divorce and getting back out
there, yeah, I've had someincredible sex since the divorce
.
So discovered squirting.
So discovered squirting that'sone of my favorite things now.

(28:16):
And also discovering this wholething of squ and drank a ton of
wine and was so hungover thenext day and had no idea what
happened.
We knew we had sex but therewas like a wet towel in the bed
with us.
Didn't smell like urine oranything.
We're just like what is this?
What happened?
Neither one of us could figureit out, but I'm pretty sure he
must have like accidentally mademe squirt or something.
I don't know because, yeah, wecould never figure it out what

(28:39):
had happened.
So

Etienne (28:41):
and wait?
Who is the person that did thiswith you in germany?
Who was your partner?

Heidi (28:44):
my ex, yeah, my ex-husband.

Etienne (28:46):
Oh okay, so you did have okay, so you did have some
good times in the bed.

Heidi (28:52):
But I have no memory of it at all.

Etienne (28:54):
That sucks

Heidi (28:55):
I'm so drunk.
Yeah, zero memory of whathappened.

Etienne (29:01):
Oh my God, well, actually going to squirting.
My second story is 100% relatedto that.

Heidi (29:07):
Yay

Etienne (29:08):
oh yeah.
A few months after myex-husband left me, I was
finally allowed to go out andhave sex again, and I was going
nuts.
But almost a year after I washaving sex again, I met a 25
year old and he lived inSavannah, but he happened to be
coming to Charleston that daybecause he was getting a visa.
He was moving to Wales to do amaster's degree and then it

(29:31):
doesn't have a federal buildingor federal office where you can
get visas, so he had to comehere.
So I accidentally found him theday he was here on Tinder and
we met up for coffee same daythat I started talking to him
and it was.
He's so beautiful, oh my God.
Tall, six feet tall, I think,and like an embarrassingly small

(29:52):
amount of body fat and justlovely muscles, but not crazy,
just like perfect.
When I first saw him nakedbecause it wasn't right away,
obviously, it was that same day,but not right away when he took
his clothes off, finally, I waslike I need my clothes back on,
I am too fat for this man andI'm like I mean, I'm like 15%

(30:14):
body fat, but he is like two orsomething and I'm like I am
giant, like that's what I wasthinking compared to him.
But yeah, so he looked like, orhe looks like Casey Affleck,
like, just like, just like a,with like an innocent, sweet
little innocent face.
I'm just want you to picturethis gorgeous man with the sweet

(30:36):
, innocent face and he has adegree in psychology, he's going
to go for his master's degreeand we're having conversation
about Tinder and what kind ofwomen he meets on Tinder and
what does he think about it, andall blah, blah, blah.
And I'm just making him talkand talk, cause he, he's so
intelligent.
It was just so fascinating tohear him speak.
And finally I'm like do you wantto go back to my house?
And he's like sure, so we leavethe coffee house to go to the

(30:58):
parking lot.
I'm trying to get my phone tolike wake up I have got this
really old smartphone at thetime and send him my address.
Make sure that he gets itbefore we actually get in the
car and start driving.
And he happens to mention,while we're waiting for my text
to go through, he's like do Ineed to stop at the drugstore
because I need Magnum condomsand I'm like oh no, we don't

(31:22):
have to stop at the drugstore.
I have those.
They've never been opened, butI have a whole box that has not
been opened.
You can have all of them.
I bought them before I startedhaving sex again.
I bought the regular condomsand I bought the magnum condoms.
Yeah, and the magnum condomshad not been used, unfortunately

(31:42):
, and I was just hoping andpraying, at some point they were
gonna get broken into.
And here's my opportunity.
So, yeah, and and also.
He's like and I think I shouldmention to you.
He said I'm a dominant in thebedroom and I'm like okay, and
I've heard this already before,because I'd been having sex for
like nine months at this pointand you know, in my mind, I'm

(32:04):
like okay.
So you're a dominant, just likenormal.
He could see the look on myface.
He like could read what I wasthinking.
He's like no, no, not likethose dominants, those guys that
are out there right now thatjust think that's their excuse
for shoving their dicks downyour throat super hard till you
gag.
He's like no, I'm not one ofthose dominants.
He's like if you're into it, Ilike to play with pain and
heighten your senses before.

(32:25):
I think it's time for you tohave an orgasm And'm like oh, I
was like, okay, did my addressget to your phone already?
Because we need to get therelike we need to get to my house,
um so 50 shades of holy shitright now, so fast forward to.

(32:47):
We're in my bedroom, my clothesare off.
I don't think right now, sofast forward to.
We're in my bedroom, my clothesare off.
I don't even remember Like Idon't even remember taking my
clothes off, but his clothes areon and he's in my sex drawer.
I had a sex drawer before.
I had my long-term boyfriendlike post-husband, and I'll
recreate that soon, since I'mfree again.

(33:08):
One of the things I had in therewas this really crazy long like
so long I don't even know howmany feet of industrial but soft
like silky material rope andmeant to be used to be tied to
things, and it really hadn'tbeen used much before that like
at all.
And so he pulled that out andhe very carefully tied me to the

(33:29):
bed.
Oh, I think I had my underwearon that.
I think I had my underwear on.
That was it.
I had my underwear on.
Still, everything else was off.
So I was being demure and he'stying me to the bed and, oh my
God, and he blindfolded me.
So I didn't get to watch him doit and he took his time and

(33:50):
while he's doing this, sometimeshe's quiet and sometimes he's
talking to me and he's asking me, like, what my experiences have
been sexually?
What did I like, what did I notlike?
He really wanted to know and Ifelt like I was being
interviewed by Barbara Walters,like the male version of Barbara
Walters.
That is all about sex and I'mnot asking him anything.
My asking him anything, my mindhas gone to some other place

(34:19):
already and I'm not sure what ishappening.
But I also have this momentwhere I'm thinking this might
not be the best idea, that I'mallowing the strange man that I
just met today tie me to my bed,like fully tie me to my bed,
like.
No, I have a four poster bed.
He's tying me to all theposters so if something happened
and I am not able to doanything, well, luckily nothing
bad happened, only good things.
But yes, it was not the smartestthing in the whole world.

(34:40):
I swear.
I apologize for that, but I wascaught up in the moment and, oh
God, yeah, he, um, he pulledout different things to try on
me with the like.
I had a couple of differentwhips, but yeah, it ended up
being that we had to use thewriting crop.
I bought this writing crop andit literally said on the label
50 shades of gray and he wasmaking fun of me for having that

(35:02):
and I was like I tried theother writing crops at the sex
store and this is the one I likethe best.
No, it says 50 shades of grayon there.
I'm sorry, don't judge me, butyeah, he started doing the pain.
But not he, so skilled, like heknows how to just start like at

(35:24):
a one, like we're starting at aone, are you okay?
Like he didn't even say one,but he started at level one and
just would gauge me and talk tome and ask me questions and see
how my skin was reacting to whatwas happening, like actually
see, like if the discolorationor marks of any kind, and then
he would up it a little and thenI don't think we got past like
a two though level on a 10 scale.

(35:45):
Let's say, I don't think we gotpast the two level that day.
Um, because it wasn't longafter that we reached like that
two level that he decided that Ithink we got around.
He asked me a question if I'dever squirted before and I was
like, well, I think so, but I'mnot entirely sure.
And he's like ah, he's likeokay, and so, um, yeah, he, he

(36:10):
pulled my underwear down.
I mean, I think you know what'sfunny?
I think pretty much foreverything he did he asked
consent for every single timeand that was hot.
Do you know you can makeconsent be the hottest thing
that that somebody can do to youum is it okay if I take your
underwear down?
I'm like oh, oh, yes
yes, please

(36:31):
Yes, please do it now.

Jane (36:32):
That's building anticipation,

Etienne (36:34):
yes

Jane (36:34):
and getting permission.

Etienne (36:35):
Oh my God, my underwear is like stuck to me, like it's
so wet.
So, yeah, he got them down, butagain I'm like splayed so it's
kind of it's not going very fardown my legs because my legs are
spread, so um, or very spread.
There was some play in the ropeso I could like bring him
closer together just to get theunderwear down.
But, um, yeah, he um did notget a towel.

(36:58):
If I knew it was coming, Iwould have actually put all the
towels I owned underneath mybody like from the entire house,

Heidi (37:25):
you can soak it

Etienne (37:27):
 Ha.
Because, yeah.
Sohe was like, okay, this is what
I need you to do.
He's like, I am gonna, I wantyou to relax.
I want you to relax all of yourmuscles.
And I'm like, okay.
He's like, I want you to take abreath in through your nose and
blow it out through your noseand you want do it very slowly.
and I did that.
And he put his hand.
He's like I'm going to push myhand down on your lower abdomen
and just relax, and there'sgoing to be a time where you're
not going to be able to relaxanymore and that's fine, but
just try to stay relaxed as longas possible.
And I'm like, okay, I'm doingwhatever you say is what I'm
thinking in my head.
And yeah, he pushed down on mylower abdomen, he put to his

(37:50):
like middle and ring fingerinside of me, um and uh, like up
and down.
He hooks his fingers inside andyou know, it's actually, I
think, going up against that.
If he you know, women, if youever hopefully reached inside of
yourself, you know that likespongy part that you can feel a

(38:10):
little bit weighs up inside ofyour vagina, that's what he's
hooking his fingers up against.
And you know, he's moving hishand like, while he's pushing
down, with just the right amountof pressure, pushing down on my
abdomen, moving his arm on hisother arm up and down quite fast
.
And yeah, it's only a coupleseconds into, I'm trying to be

(38:30):
relaxed, trying to be relaxed,and then all of a sudden, I
could not be relaxed anymore.
And I think it's when youclench down finally, that all of
this fluid like shot out intothe air and kept shooting out,
cause he was still like movinghis arm, just like you see on
the porns, like you know exceptmine was actually like squirting
fluid and not a woman who has afull bladder pretending she's
squirting, and that was thefirst of so many times that he

(38:52):
did that to me.
I do, on my bed, have acomforter or a duvet, and is it
a duvet?
It's a regular like comforter,has a cover, a duvet cover.
It's not super thick, but letme tell you we went through my
liquid over that afternoon withhim, went and into the early
evening because this went on forhours.
Went through my liquid overthat afternoon with him, went
and into the early evening Causethis went on for hours.

(39:13):
Went through the duvet, throughmy fitted sheet, through the
waterproof cover that I had onoh, it was a waterproof freaking
cover Went through that wentonto my mattress.
So I literally, like the nextday I had to air out my mattress
.
Um, it was so much like I Iwasn't just from the first time,

(39:35):
it was from the the many timesthat he did that to me and I was
just like floored.
And at one point he actually hetook me to the bathroom, uh, to
the floor in the bathroom, so Icould see just how much comes
out when he does it, so he couldsee the little pile of like
liquid, and I was like this isfantastic.
Yeah, I mean we had actual likesex and like oral like we had

(39:58):
all the sex.
But I mean he, there is.
There is nobody else that I'vemet in of the people that I've
slept with who could make awoman squirt anywhere close to
that Cause I've only had a fewwho were able to do it.
And he was literally like andI've done it to myself too.
Actually, he this is a funnything he, um, he had a friend, a

(40:21):
female friend that he had sleptwith before and he's like she's
very into.
She wanted to learn how to dothe squirting for herself.
So she bought a very specificvibrator and he told me which
one and he said I'm going to askpermission from her, but you
guys can get in touch with eachother possibly and she can walk
you through how she does it forherself and I'm like great.
So she and I had a phoneconversation about a month later

(40:44):
and she went through the stepsof what she does and the part as
a woman, on your own, doing itlike as a man can do it like,
literally you can walk in hereand if he knows what he's doing,
I could be squirting in threeseconds you know, but for a
woman to do it to herself, atleast the way she, the way she
did it and the way I didsuccessfully do it.

(41:04):
It took 30 minutes of mass ofedging, masturbation to myself,
before, like then, finallygetting on my knees and putting
that special vibrator insideagainst that spot, using a
vibrator on the outside of metoo, and that's when I squirted.
But I mean, 30 minutes ofedging is by yourself it's kind

(41:27):
of torturous.
So I should probably do itagain.
You know, try it again, but Ihaven't.

Heidi (41:33):
I've got a vibrator that hits the right spot too.

Etienne (41:36):
Does it have kind of like a flattish head on it, like
mine's got like a quarter-sizedflattish head on it.

Heidi (41:42):
It's got the suction thing for the clitoris, but then
also it curves around and getsthe G-spot just right, and it's
incredible.
So it gets the g-spot justright and it's incredible.
So it gets the outside and theinside and yeah, it's my
favorite one

Etienne (41:56):
and you've squirted from that

Heidi (41:57):
yes, yes

Etienne (41:58):
oh, my god, like every time you use it, or or when you
use it for that purpose,

Heidi (42:02):
when I yeah it's my special one that, yeah, I use
just for that.

Etienne (42:07):
All right you have to.
Yeah, send me, maybe you can putthe link

Heidi (42:10):
yes,

Etienne (42:11):
show notes.

Heidi (42:12):
It's from Womanizer.
Just look up Womanizer, you'llfind it.

Jane (42:15):
Oh, I've heard people

Etienne (42:17):
it's called the Womanizer.

Heidi (42:18):
Well, the company, oh, okay, they're most famous for
the suction clitoral.

Etienne (42:23):
I might have that one.
I have a suction-ish one.
Yeah, that's for the clit, yeah.

Heidi (42:28):
I have like several from that company.

Etienne (42:36):
Well, how long?
I'm just curious.
How long does it take you tohave a squirting orgasm from
that?

Heidi (42:41):
If somebody knows what they're doing, not long.

Etienne (42:44):
No, no, no, With you and the vibrator.

Heidi (42:46):
Oh, oh, I see what you're saying.
It's not a half hour, but yeah,yeah,

Etienne (42:54):
it's kind of a buildup, right you
Have to build up

Heidi (42:57):
Because you're like, when someone's doing it for you, you
can just like let loose and getinto the moment and like let it
happen when, if you're tryingto do it like, it's like you're
trying to get out of your head alittle bit, but also trying to
make it happen with the movement, so you're yeah, it just takes
a lot longer

Etienne (43:18):
okay

Heidi (43:19):
But, eventually it gets to the point where you just,
yeah, like the feelings thereand you're going to go.

Etienne (43:25):
Well, what she described to me, too is she said
that literally it took a longtime at first, but the more you
do it with yourself, the fasterit'll happen.
So it's probably something likeyou just learn to do better.
She's like now I can just haveit happen.
I was like what?
She's like, yeah, I can justhave a guy like pretty much put
his cock inside of me and I'mgoing, I'm like, wait, what is

(43:51):
that?
Okay.
So, remembering this now, maybeI should go and become an
expert at making myself squirt,so that I can always be a
squirter.
You know, I can squirt all overthe place with all the towels
down first

Jane (43:58):
we know what Eddie's doing on her next rainy afternoon.
She's like you know

Etienne (44:03):
I'm going to be busy guys.
I've got an afternoon scheduledwith myself in my bedroom.

Heidi (44:10):
And I will definitely send you the link for the
special vibrator, because itworks every time.

Etienne (44:16):
I'm totally getting it

Heidi (44:17):
it's amazing Yeah, because using two
vibrators, that's extra hard.
Yeah, no, this one gets rid ofthat so yeah

Etienne (44:25):
I don't need to be using all of my hands like
holding devices.

Heidi (44:29):
Exactly, yeah, see, that's another reason why yeah.
If it's all complicated likeyeah, it's going to take a while
to get there.

Etienne (44:37):
Oh, my God.

Jane (44:38):
It doesn't sound very relaxing yet.

Etienne (44:40):
No, no Yeah, I'm like exhausted.
Yes, I had my squirting orgasm,but now I'm fucking tired as
shit.
I'm gonna go to bed at like fivein the afternoon

Jane (44:51):
now I haven't been able to be as detailed as you guys
because I, out of respect for myhusband, but, I can share
quickly like a much more pg kindof story as we're all Gen Xers
here.
It was cinematic, it felt veryJohn Hughes movie to me.
But it was a slow burn.
There was a guy that I had acrush on for a couple of years

(45:14):
in high school and the feelingwas mutual but we just never
acted on it.
He was a year before me and Idon't know what it was.
We just didn't want to act onit in high school and we kind of
we had a flirty relationshipand then we also had a
competitive relationship becausethis is going to sound super
geeky, because it is, but weboth wrote literary analyses

(45:37):
competitively.

Etienne (45:39):
Wait, that's a thing.

Jane (45:40):
It is a thing All right.
I won at the state level, butnot until he graduated, because
he was my nemesis.
We were always in competitionwith each other and we would go
to these competitions.
We'd start at the school level.
They put you in a room with theother people competing in this.
You have an hour to write aliterary analysis.
They give you the topic andthen a list of 20 books and it's

(46:01):
always comparative.
So you're going to hope thatyou've read two books on the
list that you could write a goodenough thesis about and then
give examples and just do thisanalysis competitively.

Etienne (46:13):
Wait, you have to pause here for a second.
Does that mean that you killedit in the SATs?
Isn't there like an essay part?
There used to be an essay partin the SATs.

Jane (46:20):
there was not an essay part when I took it in 1990 and
1991

Etienne (46:27):
okay

Jane (46:27):
it was just a verbal they added one, but yeah, but then,
but not when I had taken it,okay, and they you know.
So we were competing in all ofthese different contests and he
always came in first and Ialways came in second, anyway,
so it was a joke between us.
I'm like I will win when yougraduate, and that's exactly

(46:48):
what happened.
But we kept in touch because hewas just a lovely human being.
He tutored me in math because Isucked in math, but he was good
at everything.
He also was freaking jackedbecause he was a very
experienced martial artist.
He was a third degree blackbelt in Taekwondo and he was
very muscular and just did,really smart and really smooth

(47:12):
and confident and charitable.

Etienne (47:15):
Oh, come on

Jane (47:16):
he was the valedictorian of his class and he gave a
speech that made everybody cry,holy shit.
Yeah, I mean

Etienne (47:24):
is he famous now Like he sounds like he should be
famous.

Jane (47:28):
No, he's not famous.
He is just a fabulouscommunicator and a really good
friend.
So I didn't want to mess.
I think that's why we did.
We were good friends, so wejust didn't want to mess it up.
But then he went to college.
He went to yale, of course hewent anyway.
So he went to yale and I wentto stony brook university, which
is directly across long islandsound, pretty much from from

(47:49):
yale, and so I would go visithim.
Sometimes I would get on aferry and go across the sound.
He would pick me up and I wouldhang out in yale and we'd go to
parties and hang out and justhave a good time.
Still, nothing ever happened.
Still very flirty.
Nothing ever happens.
Until the summer, after myfreshman year, he was doing an

(48:10):
internship at Harvard Medicalbecause he was pre-med.
He did not end up becoming adoctor, but that's beside the
point, but he's at HarvardMedical School doing an
internship over the summer andhe was staying at an apartment
in Cambridge and he said hey,I'd love you to come up here and
we could hang out in Boston andit would be just such a blast.
I'll fly you up, fly me up.

(48:32):
Anyway, we're in college.
At that time I'm 18, because Iturned 17 halfway through my
freshman year, so I'm 18.
It's in the summer and the tallships were in Boston that
summer.
So this is the summer of 1992.
And he buys a plane ticket forme, for a little puddle jumper,
to leave from Long Island'sMacArthur Airport to fly to
Boston.
And he picks me up and we justit was something we didn't state

(48:57):
explicitly, we just knew likethis is finally going to be our
romantic weekend.
But we were both now kind ofshy about it, because at this
point we've known each other forseveral years.
And he picks me up at theairport and takes me around
Boston and we go to see the tallships and there were fireworks,
and we're just hanging out allover Boston.
And then we go back to hisapartment and we get ready for
he's like I'm going to take youto a really nice dinner.

(49:19):
We went to this romanticrestaurant.
Now, we're both neither one ofus are 21 yet but we were all
dressed up and he ordered winewith confidence, no questions
asked.
They're just like we have abottle of wine, we order enough.
So we, between the two of us,we drank two bottles of wine.
So we're both like, really like.
We're drunk but not sloppy,because we did it with class.
We're like we have food in usand then we get back on the

(49:41):
subway and we're like holdinghands on the subway and you know
, that's just that feeling likeelectricity, like we haven't
even kissed yet.

Heidi (49:48):
Wow.

Jane (49:48):
But we're going back to this apartment where it's just
him and me and we are walking upto the apartment and it's just
feeling we could see and wecould hear thunder and see
lightning.
We could hear thunder and seelightning, but it's not raining
yet and there is a man this iswhere it gets very John Hughes,
and I swear to you this is whathappened Someone has their
window open and they'repracticing the saxophone.

Etienne (50:10):
Oh come on.

Jane (50:10):
We are in the courtyard by where his apartment building is
and he just pulls me close andwe're just slow dancing to some
stranger playing a saxophone.
I don't recognize the song hewas playing.
It was just like a slow jazzkind of song.
And then, per john hughes,there's a thunderclap and now
it's just pouring, pouring andthat is when he kisses me.

(50:32):
We are soaking wet in the rain.
I'm like molly ringwald in theroom like yes, you can take me
here, and we're just like likekissing hard like our lives
depend on it.
Yeah, this is like seven yearsworth of flirting, like now,
like culminating, and like thiskiss in the rain.
And then he just like thenyanks my arm.
We start laughing because nowit's like lightning and we're

(50:53):
thinking maybe we should, it'snot safe.
And we go in the elevator andyou guys both know how I hate
elevators, I don't even care.
He stops the elevator and we'rejust making out in the elevator
and it's just so hot.
He's hiking up my dress andit's just like everything is
just hot, hot, hot.
And then he undoes the elevator.
We go back to his apartment andhe has this comforter that is

(51:16):
hanging off the side of thecouch.
He just rips it off and flailsit out like it's a picnic
blanket on the floor and it wasjust amazing.
And he was the first person,the first guy, who made me have
an orgasm, because it was justso goddamn beautiful.

Etienne (51:33):
Oh, my God.

Jane (51:35):
And he was just so hot, like his body is just like like
abs, that like like washboardsituation and and we were just
pretty much naked like theentire weekend after that, like
we ate naked.
We ordered chinese food.
It just like satinated on thethat comforter, we ate on it, we
made love on it, and then hetook me out lingerie shopping

(51:59):
and we were, and he came with mein to try stuff on At the store

Etienne (52:04):
oh wow

Jane (52:05):
at the store

Etienne (52:06):
Nice.

Jane (52:06):
With confidence, with confidence.
I'm 18.
Like a man, exactly Like a man.
So what happened and so hebought me all this lingerie and
then he was like okay, now let'sgo back and you can try it on
and it was just.
Ah, it was a whole, but that wasit.
Just that weekend

Etienne (52:26):
Shut up.
No

Jane (52:28):
he lived, because he was in Boston then for you know, and
then he went back to New Havento finish Yale, you know, and I
was at Stony Brook and then Iwas, you know, went to England
for you.
We just knew like this wasn'tgoing to, you know, we didn't
want to do the long distancething, but but we stayed friends

Etienne (52:46):
like you're still friends with him

Jane (52:48):
Yeah, I still talk to him from time to time.

Etienne (52:52):
Is he married?

Heidi (52:53):
That's what I'm wondering too.

Etienne (52:55):
I asked first.

Jane (52:57):
He never.

Heidi (52:58):
He never got married.

Etienne (52:59):
He never got married.

Jane (53:00):
He never got married.
He is single.
He ended up dropping out of medschool and then getting a
degree in either English orcommunications.
Because, like I told, you, he'slike an amazing writer and so
now he does similar to what I dowith writing, thought
leadership and doing marketingtype writing, and he's traveled
all over the world.
He's lived all over the world.
I mean, he's fluent in a coupleof different languages.
He was born in Korea, so he'sKorean.

(53:21):
I'm not sure who he's workingfor now.
He worked for Samsung for manyyears doing marketing
communication stuff for them andnow he goes in and helps
companies do branding and Ithink he might even have his own
he.
might have his own companyactually doing branding stuff.
He's a phenomenal human being.
You guys can flip for it for anintro, but yeah,

Heidi (53:38):
Where does he live?
Does he live in New York still?

Jane (53:49):
He actually, he never lived in New York, he lived in a
bunch of different countries.
Well, he went to school inConnecticut

Etienne (53:57):
oh, Connecticut.
Sorry, I'm not sure where Yaleis, that's right.

Jane (54:02):
It's in Connecticut.
And then he lived in Korea fora while and I think he lived in
Singapore and he lived inCalifornia.
I think he might be inCalifornia now or he might be in
Georgia.

Etienne (54:13):
That's way different

Jane (54:13):
he was in Atlanta.
I know it's very different.
I can't keep track.
I'll have to ask him, Heidi youalmost met him.
What he almost came?
Well, because he was supposedto come to one of the bookstore
events that I did for my memoirLosing the Dollhouse.
Because he's mentioned inLosing the Dollhouse, I wanted

(54:35):
to make sure I had hispermission.
This very episode I'm talkingabout.
I actually wrote about it inthe book because it was just an
example of why didn't I go forthat?
That was healthy and beautiful,but he read it and he said that
it meant just as much to him asit did to me because I took his
virginity.
That was his first time.

(54:58):
What I'm describing to you washis first time.

Etienne (55:01):
Was it your first time too?

Jane (55:03):
No, but he thought it was.
But it's okay.

Etienne (55:06):
That's why he didn't want to go in the bed.

Jane (55:09):
Oh my gosh, I never even thought about that.

Etienne (55:12):
He didn't want you to get in.

Jane (55:14):
No,

Etienne (55:16):
maybe I don't know, it's just a thought.
I was like why are they going onthe floor?
Why don'twe just go.
It's like how much further tothe bed, like

Heidi (55:27):
well what an amazing experience for your first time,

Etienne (55:28):
yeah

Jane (55:29):
he

Etienne (55:29):
I mean for his first time

Heidi (55:29):
that's what I'm saying like yeah, that's an amazing
like weekend

Jane (55:33):
he's a romantic.
I think that he had done stuffwith other women, yeah, but he
hadn't gone like all the way.
Yeah, let's be true, gen xabout it.
He went all the way with me andso, but it means a lot to me
that I'm like forever etched inhis brain as like his first but
it was such a wonderfulexperience for both of us

Etienne (55:53):
wow, we'd love to meet him

Jane (55:58):
well, I can make that happen,

Etienne (56:00):
okay Heidi, we might be going on a trip.
We'll have individual dates.
It'll be likea bachelor,

Heidi (56:14):
the bachelor, yeah,

Etienne (56:15):
no,

Heidi (56:16):
we'll be the bachelorettes and get with all
of Jane's exes.

Etienne (56:19):
I know, oh God, I mean, you know us.
So well,

Heidi (56:22):
all her friends, all her guy friends.

Etienne (56:24):
Yeah, we could like recommend people to each other
that we think, although I knownobody, that I'd recommend for
anybody.
Sorry,

Heidi (56:33):
yeah, I don't know if I know anybody that I would
recommend either.
That's single yeah.
I don't know

Jane (56:44):
future show idea the dating game.

Etienne (56:47):
I mean that would be the perfect idea is to find a
man through your friends, likeright, they know each of you you
know, and then you just putthem together.

Heidi (56:55):
I'm about to put that out .
That call out like alright,don't be holding back if you
have guy friends that are decentlike yeah,
as long as they know you wellenough to be able to actually
fully know what is it you'relooking for in your mate.
Maybe they don't know all theway

Jane (57:11):
you have to put squirting skills on the questionnaire that
I give to any men that Iinterview here, so

Etienne (57:16):
that's not a necessity, but that would definitely be a
plus, like such a plus plus, Imean that would be, fantastic I.
That would be so good
I guess you could trainsomebody
but people might not know how much forearm strength
it takes for a man to be able todo that like I taught multiple

(57:36):
men how to do it, because hedescribed it to me, the guy who
was it, who was the expert at it.
He described to me exactly whathe was doing and the motion
like that, how like the motionhad to be.
It wasn't an in and out like itlooks in the porns, it's an up
and down, like with your, youknow

Heidi (57:52):
yeah

Etienne (57:53):
he's basically trying to pick you up your body with
his two fingers, pushing it upagainst that soft like inner,
whatever that spot,

Heidi (57:59):
the G spot

Etienne (58:01):
something, glands there's a name for it, like a
specific anatomical name forthat spot in your vagina.
But I've tried to teachmultiple men since that time.
And literally their arms giveout, give out.
And I'm like all right you gotto take up tennis, give out.

(58:22):
And I'm like all right yougotta take up tennis because he
was a tennis player too.
He was a tennis player and hisforearm was insanity like holy
cow yeah for

Heidi (58:29):
plus getting the workout of

Etienne (58:31):
of doing it

Heidi (58:32):
using women

Etienne (58:32):
yeah, I mean, I don't know.
He literally has had sex or madehundreds of women squirt.
I'm not even even jokingHundreds.
He says he's never found awoman.
He couldn't make squirt withevery woman he's had happen.

Heidi (58:48):
This very topic came up in Gen X Singles, a group I'm in
on Facebook.
It was a guy asking about isthat a real thing?
I've seen it in porn.
He didn't know it was a realthing.
Does that actually happen inporn?
Yeah, he didn't know.
He didn't know it was a realthing and all in you know, there
were several men who piped in.
They're like oh yeah, you canmake any woman do that.

(59:09):
And some of us women were likeyeah, we love it.

Jane (59:13):
Skeins gland Is that the name?

Etienne (59:15):
Yes, I think that is a skein's gland.
Yeah, yeah, because it's thestuff.
It's the spot where your actuallubrication comes out of, the
lubrication that you feel whenyour body is turned on and
getting ready to haveintercourse yeah, so that's the
same place.
I'm gonna murder my dog, by theway

Heidi (59:32):
and that's our show.
You've been listening to.
The women are plotting.
If you have a story you'd liketo share or have any comments,
we'd love to hear from you.
Email us at info@thewomenareplottingcom, and, of
course, you can find us on allthe socials.
Thanks and until next time.
Be safe and be excellent toeach other.
Thank you, bye.