April 28, 2025 • 13 mins
Fear of success often hides behind perfectionism, procrastination, and turning down opportunities we secretly desire. Without realizing it, we develop subconscious beliefs connecting success with negative outcomes, causing us to self-sabotage and play small even as we consciously pursue our goals.
• Our inner dialogue forms the blueprint of our lives, with subconscious beliefs running 90% of our behavior
• Fear of success often stems from childhood experiences or witnessing successful people encounter tragedy
• Society teaches us to "stay humble" and not shine too brightly, reinforcing our hesitation to succeed
• Success isn't something to chase—it's a natural byproduct of living aligned with your purpose
• When fear arises, thank it for trying to protect you rather than fighting against it
• Like swimming, growth means leaving the safety of the shallow end to experience the thrill of the deep
• Your success doesn't threaten others—it shows them what's possible
• Fear appearing means you're doing something meaningful; it's a growth light, not a stop light
• Special reflection prompts include identifying where fear of success appears and writing new affirmations
• Use the new moon energy to commit to one small action or mindset shift this month
If this episode spoke to you, please share it with someone you love who's been playing small but is ready to soar. If you're ready to dive deeper into this work, DM me and we'll talk about coaching together.
Thank you for joining me!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome.
Thank you so much for joiningme again today.
Welcome to Transform your Life.
Just count me in.
This is the place wheremiracles, mindset and mastery
meet.
So today we're going to diveinto something that I work with
a lot, with my students and mycoaching clients and I've
actually worked with it myselfand I've actually worked with it
(00:23):
myself.
It's something that might beholding you back without you
even realizing it.
It's actually fear of successNot failure, but success.
In some of us there's a partthat's actually scared of our
own light and we're afraid, onsome level, that success might
(00:44):
change our relationships, raiseexpectations, force us to let go
of the old versions ofourselves.
And it can be pretty well.
Let's just say it's not alwaysobvious.
When it's fear of successthat's holding us back, it shows
up in several different ways.
So thank you for joining us.
(01:04):
Let's dive in.
So fear of success is tricky.
It doesn't always make anannouncement.
It's not always obvious.
Sometimes I see it asprocrastination.
Sometimes it shows up asperfectionism.
Other times it can look likewhen you can't take a compliment
(01:26):
or even saying no to anopportunity of a lifetime, not
because we're afraid we're goingto fail, but because inside, a
part of us is panicked thatwe're actually going to succeed.
The first time I noticed thisfear in myself was back in
eighth grade.
I was put in the highestsection.
It was eight one and Iabsolutely begged and pleaded
(01:49):
with my parents and my guidancecounselor to move me back into
the regular section.
Why?
Because back then being smartcame with a negative label, like
I was a nerd.
I was some kind of brainiac.
Who am I for showing off?
And even today, the kids Icoach tell me that that judgment
still exists in schools.
(02:10):
We don't always grow out of it.
It just shows up in differentways in adulthood, in business
and in our relationships.
Fear of success is confusing,but it's worth talking about
because awareness changeseverything.
Our inner dialogue forms theblueprint of our lives.
(02:31):
This we know.
And if our subconscious hasinternalized a belief that
success is pressure, successcould be linked with loneliness,
guilt or risk, then no wonderwe hold ourselves back, no
wonder we play small.
We don't feel safe.
Sometimes the roots go reallydeep with this and we know that
(02:53):
the subconscious is running theshow about 90% of the time.
So, without paying attention tothis, it's like we're doing the
work from the outside in.
I prefer to go to the root causeand do it from the inside out
when I coach.
So maybe you, like me, saw aparent succeed and then
experience something painful.
(03:14):
In my case, my mom reached theheight of her personal and
professional power, had her ownbusiness, fell in love, had
everything going for her andwithin two years got cancer and
died, and she was barely 52.
So this left a huge impact onme and at a young age my brain
(03:39):
linked success to tragedy,without me even questioning it.
We write these stories whenwe're children, when we're young
, when we don't yet have theintellectual depth to realize
that we're writing them and thatthey're then going to become
the handbooks that we live ourlives by.
Unless we uncover them, we liveby these old, outdated scripts.
(04:04):
So fear of success also has todo with external expectations
from people and energy in ourbodies, and it can also come in
those ways.
Society says stay humble, don'tbrag, don't make other people
uncomfortable, don't blowyourself up too big right, don't
(04:25):
be too big for your britches.
But what if your light isn'tmeant to make others
uncomfortable?
What if it's really meant toshow them what's possible?
Wayne Dyer said that the onlyreal failure is when we
disconnect from our purpose andwhen we are aligned, when we
live in alignment, when we'retapped into service and
(04:47):
authenticity.
Success is actually a naturalbyproduct of that.
We don't have to chase it, wejust become it.
So what do we do when fear stillpops up?
So I have a little trick thatsounds kind of silly.
Do when fear still pops up?
So I have a little trick thatsounds kind of silly but it
(05:08):
works.
I actually thank my fear, justlike you'd reassure a dog.
Hey, buddy, it's okay, I knowyou're scared of this new person
, but like they're safe, you'resafe.
You'll get to know them andthen you'll probably be best
friends.
I say to myself hey, thank youfor trying to keep me safe.
I've got this, I'm okay.
It's just new.
And new is okay Because successhas never brought me misfortune
(05:31):
.
Success has never opened a doorto tragedy or loss.
Success has always led to moregrowth, more expansion, more joy
and actually more love in mylife.
I think about it like swimming,and I was coaching a student
about this a couple weeks ago.
(05:52):
So I'm thanking her and I didthank her for giving me this.
When we first start, we staywhere we can touch the bottom.
It's familiar in the shallow,and it's familiar, it's safe.
But if I stayed there forever,I'd never experience the thrill
of diving into the deep and Iwouldn't meet other people who
(06:12):
could dive and play and growwith me.
So I ask you, where are youstill standing in the kiddie
pool?
Where are you capable ofswimming?
But you're clinging to theshallow because it's what's
familiar to you.
You're not going to loseanybody.
(06:34):
That's really a friend.
They're going to be happy foryour growth.
They're going to celebrate yoursuccess and if they don't let
them go, they're not your people.
(06:55):
So take a breath now andwherever you are whether you're
driving, walking, sitting justbreathe.
Inhale I am safe, I am free, Iam safe, I am free, I am ready.
Exhale I am safe, I am free, Iam ready.
(07:19):
Remind yourself, successfollows me.
I'm safe to succeed.
I live grounded in my purposeand I rise in love.
When I shine, I shine the wayfor others.
When I rise, I lift myself andI lift all of those around me
(07:50):
around me.
So when fear shows up again andagain because it will it doesn't
mean you're doing anythingwrong.
Don't fight it, don't freeze.
Learn to dance with the fear,seth Godin says, if it works,
things are going to change, andthat's scary, but fear doesn't
mean you stop.
Scary, but fear doesn't meanyou stop.
Fear means you're doingsomething meaningful.
(08:11):
Fear means you're ontosomething.
It's not a red light, it's agrowth light.
You don't need to kill fear,you just can't let it drive the
car.
So today, maybe maybe take amoment and ask yourself.
Maybe maybe take a moment andask yourself where am I ready to
swim in the deep end of my life?
Where can I thank fear andstill take the next step?
(08:34):
Your success is not selfish.
It's actually sacred.
When you rise, you show otherpeople what's possible and when
you let your light shine, youinvite others to do the same.
(08:55):
If this episode spoke to you,please share it with someone you
love, someone who's beenplaying small but you know is
actually ready to soar.
And if you need to listen tothis every day or for once a
week for a while, until you'veput these changes into effect,
it's worth it.
Do it.
If you're ready to dive deeperinto this work, dm me and we'll
talk about coaching together,because this journey is so worth
(09:18):
it and you don't have to do italone.
Wishing you success beyond yourwildest dreams and love in
every single step that you take.
I am safe, I am free, I amready, I am successful and I am
sacred.
I wanted to give this to youjust a special bonus for
(09:40):
listening and I so appreciate.
This is my 15th episode and I'mstarting to hear from people
and I'm so grateful to be hereto do this and so grateful to be
here taking these steps withyou.
I wanted to give you a littlepresent, so, to reflect, part
one would be acknowledging thefear and and you can ask
(10:02):
yourself where in my life do Ifeel a fear of success showing
up?
Examples could be careerrelationships, creativity,
health goals.
Prompt number two what storymight I have unconsciously
written about success when I wasyounger?
(10:22):
Prompt number three how has thefear of success tried to
protect me?
Can I thank it lovingly?
Okay, part number two is goingto be stepping into the deep end
.
Prompt number four when in mylife am I standing in the
(10:46):
shallow end, even though I'mready for the deep end, and what
new skills or inner strengthsdo I already have that are
preparing me for the next level?
That said, what do I need to beable to swim in the deep end,
and what skill set, what help,what supports might I need?
(11:06):
Can I take a step towards those?
Even just acknowledging andbecoming aware is important.
Part three is affirmations forrising.
You can write your own andplease message me.
If you come up with some forthese, I'd love to share them
and share them with the Facebookgroup.
I'm safe to succeed.
(11:27):
I rise in love, not fear.
My success serves the world, Ishine and I light the way for
others.
So I would also invite you touse the power of the new moon
which is on Sunday, the 27th soyou'll be hearing this on the
28th and think about one smallaction or mindset shift that you
(11:53):
can commit to making this month.
It can be small.
Even planting the smallest seedcan lead to miracles over time.
So take a breath and put a handon your heart and say to
yourself again I am safe, I amfree, I am successful, I am
(12:24):
successful, I am sacred and I amready.
You're not just chasing success, you're embodying it.
Thank you for choosing to rise.
Have a beautiful week, thankyou.
Welcome.
Thank you so much for joiningme again today.
Welcome to Transform your Life.
Just count me in.
This is the place wheremiracles, mindset and mastery
meet.
So today we're going to diveinto something that I work with
a lot, with my students and mycoaching clients and I've
actually worked with it myselfand I've actually worked with it
(00:23):
myself.
It's something that might beholding you back without you
even realizing it.
It's actually fear of successNot failure, but success.
In some of us there's a partthat's actually scared of our
own light and we're afraid, onsome level, that success might
(00:44):
change our relationships, raiseexpectations, force us to let go
of the old versions ofourselves.
And it can be pretty well.
Let's just say it's not alwaysobvious.
When it's fear of successthat's holding us back, it shows
up in several different ways.
So thank you for joining us.
(01:04):
Let's dive in.
So fear of success is tricky.
It doesn't always make anannouncement.
It's not always obvious.
Sometimes I see it asprocrastination.
Sometimes it shows up asperfectionism.
Other times it can look likewhen you can't take a compliment
(01:26):
or even saying no to anopportunity of a lifetime, not
because we're afraid we're goingto fail, but because inside, a
part of us is panicked thatwe're actually going to succeed.
The first time I noticed thisfear in myself was back in
eighth grade.
I was put in the highestsection.
It was eight one and Iabsolutely begged and pleaded
(01:49):
with my parents and my guidancecounselor to move me back into
the regular section.
Why?
Because back then being smartcame with a negative label, like
I was a nerd.
I was some kind of brainiac.
Who am I for showing off?
And even today, the kids Icoach tell me that that judgment
still exists in schools.
(02:10):
We don't always grow out of it.
It just shows up in differentways in adulthood, in business
and in our relationships.
Fear of success is confusing,but it's worth talking about
because awareness changeseverything.
Our inner dialogue forms theblueprint of our lives.
(02:31):
This we know.
And if our subconscious hasinternalized a belief that
success is pressure, successcould be linked with loneliness,
guilt or risk, then no wonderwe hold ourselves back, no
wonder we play small.
We don't feel safe.
Sometimes the roots go reallydeep with this and we know that
(02:53):
the subconscious is running theshow about 90% of the time.
So, without paying attention tothis, it's like we're doing the
work from the outside in.
I prefer to go to the root causeand do it from the inside out
when I coach.
So maybe you, like me, saw aparent succeed and then
experience something painful.
(03:14):
In my case, my mom reached theheight of her personal and
professional power, had her ownbusiness, fell in love, had
everything going for her andwithin two years got cancer and
died, and she was barely 52.
So this left a huge impact onme and at a young age my brain
(03:39):
linked success to tragedy,without me even questioning it.
We write these stories whenwe're children, when we're young
, when we don't yet have theintellectual depth to realize
that we're writing them and thatthey're then going to become
the handbooks that we live ourlives by.
Unless we uncover them, we liveby these old, outdated scripts.
(04:04):
So fear of success also has todo with external expectations
from people and energy in ourbodies, and it can also come in
those ways.
Society says stay humble, don'tbrag, don't make other people
uncomfortable, don't blowyourself up too big right, don't
(04:25):
be too big for your britches.
But what if your light isn'tmeant to make others
uncomfortable?
What if it's really meant toshow them what's possible?
Wayne Dyer said that the onlyreal failure is when we
disconnect from our purpose andwhen we are aligned, when we
live in alignment, when we'retapped into service and
(04:47):
authenticity.
Success is actually a naturalbyproduct of that.
We don't have to chase it, wejust become it.
So what do we do when fear stillpops up?
So I have a little trick thatsounds kind of silly.
Do when fear still pops up?
So I have a little trick thatsounds kind of silly but it
(05:08):
works.
I actually thank my fear, justlike you'd reassure a dog.
Hey, buddy, it's okay, I knowyou're scared of this new person
, but like they're safe, you'resafe.
You'll get to know them andthen you'll probably be best
friends.
I say to myself hey, thank youfor trying to keep me safe.
I've got this, I'm okay.
It's just new.
And new is okay Because successhas never brought me misfortune
(05:31):
.
Success has never opened a doorto tragedy or loss.
Success has always led to moregrowth, more expansion, more joy
and actually more love in mylife.
I think about it like swimming,and I was coaching a student
about this a couple weeks ago.
(05:52):
So I'm thanking her and I didthank her for giving me this.
When we first start, we staywhere we can touch the bottom.
It's familiar in the shallow,and it's familiar, it's safe.
But if I stayed there forever,I'd never experience the thrill
of diving into the deep and Iwouldn't meet other people who
(06:12):
could dive and play and growwith me.
So I ask you, where are youstill standing in the kiddie
pool?
Where are you capable ofswimming?
But you're clinging to theshallow because it's what's
familiar to you.
You're not going to loseanybody.
(06:34):
That's really a friend.
They're going to be happy foryour growth.
They're going to celebrate yoursuccess and if they don't let
them go, they're not your people.
(06:55):
So take a breath now andwherever you are whether you're
driving, walking, sitting justbreathe.
Inhale I am safe, I am free, Iam safe, I am free, I am ready.
Exhale I am safe, I am free, Iam ready.
(07:19):
Remind yourself, successfollows me.
I'm safe to succeed.
I live grounded in my purposeand I rise in love.
When I shine, I shine the wayfor others.
When I rise, I lift myself andI lift all of those around me
(07:50):
around me.
So when fear shows up again andagain because it will it doesn't
mean you're doing anythingwrong.
Don't fight it, don't freeze.
Learn to dance with the fear,seth Godin says, if it works,
things are going to change, andthat's scary, but fear doesn't
mean you stop.
Scary, but fear doesn't meanyou stop.
Fear means you're doingsomething meaningful.
(08:11):
Fear means you're ontosomething.
It's not a red light, it's agrowth light.
You don't need to kill fear,you just can't let it drive the
car.
So today, maybe maybe take amoment and ask yourself.
Maybe maybe take a moment andask yourself where am I ready to
swim in the deep end of my life?
Where can I thank fear andstill take the next step?
(08:34):
Your success is not selfish.
It's actually sacred.
When you rise, you show otherpeople what's possible and when
you let your light shine, youinvite others to do the same.
(08:55):
If this episode spoke to you,please share it with someone you
love, someone who's beenplaying small but you know is
actually ready to soar.
And if you need to listen tothis every day or for once a
week for a while, until you'veput these changes into effect,
it's worth it.
Do it.
If you're ready to dive deeperinto this work, dm me and we'll
talk about coaching together,because this journey is so worth
(09:18):
it and you don't have to do italone.
Wishing you success beyond yourwildest dreams and love in
every single step that you take.
I am safe, I am free, I amready, I am successful and I am
sacred.
I wanted to give this to youjust a special bonus for
(09:40):
listening and I so appreciate.
This is my 15th episode and I'mstarting to hear from people
and I'm so grateful to be hereto do this and so grateful to be
here taking these steps withyou.
I wanted to give you a littlepresent, so, to reflect, part
one would be acknowledging thefear and and you can ask
(10:02):
yourself where in my life do Ifeel a fear of success showing
up?
Examples could be careerrelationships, creativity,
health goals.
Prompt number two what storymight I have unconsciously
written about success when I wasyounger?
(10:22):
Prompt number three how has thefear of success tried to
protect me?
Can I thank it lovingly?
Okay, part number two is goingto be stepping into the deep end
.
Prompt number four when in mylife am I standing in the
(10:46):
shallow end, even though I'mready for the deep end, and what
new skills or inner strengthsdo I already have that are
preparing me for the next level?
That said, what do I need to beable to swim in the deep end,
and what skill set, what help,what supports might I need?
(11:06):
Can I take a step towards those?
Even just acknowledging andbecoming aware is important.
Part three is affirmations forrising.
You can write your own andplease message me.
If you come up with some forthese, I'd love to share them
and share them with the Facebookgroup.
I'm safe to succeed.
(11:27):
I rise in love, not fear.
My success serves the world, Ishine and I light the way for
others.
So I would also invite you touse the power of the new moon
which is on Sunday, the 27th soyou'll be hearing this on the
28th and think about one smallaction or mindset shift that you
(11:53):
can commit to making this month.
It can be small.
Even planting the smallest seedcan lead to miracles over time.
So take a breath and put a handon your heart and say to
yourself again I am safe, I amfree, I am successful, I am
(12:24):
successful, I am sacred and I amready.
You're not just chasing success, you're embodying it.
Thank you for choosing to rise.
Have a beautiful week, thankyou.
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