July 15, 2025 • 16 mins
True success isn't something we chase but something we allow when we align with our authentic selves rather than external validation. We often lose our joy when success gets redefined for us by others, just like the toddler at the beach who was happy playing catch until his older brother pointed out he couldn't catch the ball properly.
• Spirit-led success is guided by peace, not driven by pressure
• Success that's aligned with your values doesn't cost you your health, joy or authenticity
• External validation feels good but becomes problematic when we alter ourselves to get it
• Like digital algorithms that suggest content based on our focus, we attract what we align with
• Success and failure look different for everyone-it's about how you feel
Contact me on Instagram or Facebook Email Saristone2023@gmail.com for special summer coaching packages if you're ready to step into a lighter, more pure version of yourself and discover what success truly feels like for your soul.
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566883002270
https://www.instagram.com/saristone2025/
Thank you for joining me!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, welcome, welcome back to Transform your Life.
Just count me in.
I'm Sari, and today we're goingto step into kind of a sticky
topic, but I believe it's reallygoing to change the way you
might define and experience yoursuccess in life.
We're actually talking aboutfailure or spirit-led success,
(00:22):
whichever way you want to flipit.
Failure or spirit-led success,whichever way you want to flip
it.
This weekend we were at thebeach and it was one of those
perfect July days.
It was just beautiful and therewas a family.
A lot of families can just comedown for a week or two and we
used to be that family, so Icould tell they were here just
for a week and the grandpa wasplaying with the little boy and
(00:47):
he was about two and he wasthrowing a football and the
little guy was like holding hisarms out and the grandpa was
trying to throw the ball intohis arms and he didn't catch it
in his arms but after it bouncedoff of him he could catch it.
It was a nerf football.
He could catch it in the sandand he was all excited and then
he he would throw it back.
He had a very good throwback,by the way, for a two year old.
(01:09):
So this went on for a while andI thought he's so into it.
He's just following his joy.
He doesn't even care that he'snot catching the ball.
Like, why can't I be more likethat?
Why do I care so much all thetime that it's got to be right
that?
Why do I care so much all thetime that it's got to be right?
(01:29):
And that's often the way wedefine success.
Often we're conditioned tochase external markers and
sometimes they are successindicators money awards, grades,
titles.
But what if true success isn'treally something we chase?
What if it's something weactually allow?
After a few minutes of this,his older brother came over and
(01:55):
the little kid was still havingsuch a good time and he looked
at him and he was like, throw itto me, he can't catch the ball.
And the poor little guy, hiswhole face was downtrodden and I
thought how often do we feelgood about something until
success gets redefined for us bysomeone else, someone outside
(02:19):
of us, and we lose that feelingof feeling good.
We lose that feeling of doingwhat we want and not caring as
much about the result.
Or maybe the result was notcatching the ball, maybe the
result, the joy of this waschasing after the ball on the
(02:40):
sand and finding a couple shellsalong the way and throwing it
back to his grandpa.
So how often do we outsourcewhat we grade ourselves with?
How often do we give away thatmuch power to somebody else?
And it's very often thatsomebody will come to me and say
(03:05):
I'll ask how their week isgoing and they'll say well, I
failed at something and I'll sayfailed who?
Who did you fail?
Very often people misspeak theirfailure and sometimes society,
(03:31):
religion, well-meaning familymembers, well-meaning people in
our lives help us define whatthey consider success is.
We take that on and we actuallybecome, after a while,
desensitized to the guidancethat we have coming in, which
leads us more towards how do Iactually feel about this?
We live in a culture that'svery much driven by how much we
(03:58):
do, how hard we work, howperfect we look, how fast we can
get there.
Human doings, right Humandoings, and yet how many
successful people are deeplyunhappy.
Wayne Dyer was once quoted assaying you are not a human doing
, you're a human being.
(04:20):
And that simple reminder invitesus to look inward, to define
success more about how we feel,not just about what we achieve.
When you think about it.
How quickly can I return tomyself?
(04:40):
How quickly can I bring myselfback into a state of loving my
life and feeling good?
That, to me, is success, and wecall this spirit-led success.
Spirit-led success is not drivenby pressure.
It's guided by peace.
It's the kind of success thatdoesn't end up costing you your
(05:04):
health or your joy or yourauthenticity, and it's guided by
flow.
What feels good, what feelsright?
By flow, what feels good, whatfeels right.
It doesn't mean that there's anabsence of acknowledgement and
it doesn't mean that there mightbe an absence of getting
(05:24):
recognized for doing a good job.
Everybody feels good when weget noticed.
We all feel good.
Approval is great and it'snatural.
It's natural that it's pleasingto us.
What we have to understand iswhen we start morphing ourselves
into someone who's constantlylooking for the approval and
(05:47):
altering what we do in order toget that approval and thinking
less of ourselves when we don'tget the approval.
Therein lies the problem, and Iknow in yoga classes and I was
very careful when I was ateacher not to do this I would
not praise people specificallyor give feedback about a pose
(06:11):
with someone's name, because ifI said great job, stan.
Then Stan would be looking forme to say great job next week
and he would think maybe if Ididn't say great job, because
maybe I was noticing someoneelse or maybe he wasn't doing a
great job, then he didn't do aswell.
He would be measuring hisindicator by my external
(06:31):
feedback, and this is a stickyplace for a lot of us.
Esther Hicks teaches us thatwhen we align our vibration with
what we want not just what wefear or need, but the other end
of the stick, what launched thatdesire we become a magnet for
(06:55):
inspired action and perfecttiming.
There's a lot of synchronicityin our lives, but it's not about
the striving.
It's more so about allowing.
So here's an example that I wastalking about this weekend with
my husband.
It's like we create analgorithm.
(07:15):
When we're watching any contentTikTok, youtube, facebook X If
we shop on our phones, if wehave a conversation around Siri
or Google that personally drivesme crazy we put our attention
and focus on something.
And the next day, when we openup our phones or turn on our
computers, what's it suggesting?
(07:36):
Even when we listen to music,spotify is paying attention.
It offers us new music pickedfor us.
Well, the same thing happenswhen we align with what we want,
and what we want in the name ofsuccess is actually the feeling
(07:56):
that that object, experience,person, et cetera gives us.
It isn't to say that it wasnever good to consider the
opinions of others.
Just to be mindful that you'restaying aligned to what's
feeling really truly authenticfor you and practice the feeling
that you get when you thinkabout how good that success is
(08:21):
going to be.
Practice that feeling withoutthe external and see what
happens in your life, see whatgets called into your life.
So what does spirit successactually look like?
It looks like you are presentand aware.
(08:41):
It looks like you are presentand aware.
You are able to return toyourself and feel peaceful, even
when things are uncertain.
You feel a sense of joy orpurpose or loss of self in a
(09:01):
positive way in the process, notjust the outcome.
You often feel in the flow.
You stop needing or caringabout validation because you're
actually aligned with yourvalues.
So it just feels good.
Validation feels good, but whenwe need it it becomes an
addiction.
It becomes an addiction.
(09:23):
So a growth-oriented soul iswhat Carol Dweck talks about,
and she talks about that in theframework of a growth mindset.
She also did a lot of researchyou might want to look into
about feedback versus praise andcompliments and it being
specific and timely, andfeedback and praise is a whole
(09:45):
other episode and the way thatit has the ability to have a
positive outcome on people.
But success in itself is notabout being the best.
That's a recipe for disasterand real failure at being happy
because you're constantlycomparing yourself to someone
(10:06):
else.
It's about getting better.
It's about learning.
It's about following your heartand stretching and becoming
more of who you are, allowing,more of what's here for you,
expanding Even when things don'tgo your way.
A spirit mindset says this mustbe redirecting me to something
(10:31):
even better, and that's growth,that's trust.
That is divine.
Timing is divine timing.
Living in intention is when yourinner world actually shapes
your outer world.
So I want you to take a momentand think have you ever had a
(11:03):
time in your life that you werepushing really hard for
something and it just wasn'tworking, when you kept trying to
make it happen like force, thetiming, the connections, the
results and after a while, howdid you feel?
Probably drained, and oftenit's not until people surrender
and almost even say out loud allright, I give up, let go.
You know, show me the way.
(11:25):
The path actually came clear.
And what comes next is almostalways unexpected and it is
always more aligned and notforced.
I ask myself.
This has happened to me so manytimes and I ask myself every
(11:46):
day what wants to flow throughme today.
Success looks different fordifferent people and to
different people.
Impose our ideas of success onsomeone else, whether it's
verbally or non-verbally.
(12:08):
They can just feel it.
Sometimes it's like a silentexpectation and it can be poison
to the creative process.
You know inside, when you'vesucceeded at something, you know
that feeling of satisfactionLike, oh my gosh, I had no idea
(12:30):
it could be this good, I'm sohappy with the way things are
and I allowed it to happen.
I set things up and it happened.
So what does success feel likein your soul?
So what does success feel likein your soul?
Where in your life do you feellike you're chasing success?
(12:52):
And maybe it's someone else'sidea of success?
What would be a little bitdifferent in your life if you
were trusting your path and justletting it unfold?
Naturally, where in my life doI feel a little bit like a
(13:15):
puppet, just searching for thatgold star to be put on my paper.
You know the gold star, thesmiley face, the smiley face.
So, throughout the day, youmight want to try on some of
(13:36):
these affirmations and pleasecontact me if you are ready to
embark on a coaching cycle withme.
I'm running some special summerpackages because I know summer
is a great time for change.
Step into a different version ofyourself, a lighter version, a
more pure version.
I'm aligned with the rhythm ofmy spirit.
Success flows through me when Irelease control.
(14:00):
I am open to divine timing andinspired action.
I no longer strive to prove.
I allow myself to be.
Failure sets me up for greatersuccess.
(14:24):
So, returning to alignment, ifyou have a couple of minutes and
(14:45):
you can just come and becentered and feel that soft
golden light in the center ofyour chest, just radiating peace
, return to yourself and askwhat does my spirit want to
express today?
And just listen.
Sync up with your own divinerhythm and carry this feeling
(15:13):
forward with you.
I'm really looking forward tohearing from you and walking
this journey with you.
Contact me on Instagram,message me on Facebook and I
hope to catch up with you soon.
Until then, just count me in,thank you.
Hey, welcome, welcome back to Transform your Life.
Just count me in.
I'm Sari, and today we're goingto step into kind of a sticky
topic, but I believe it's reallygoing to change the way you
might define and experience yoursuccess in life.
We're actually talking aboutfailure or spirit-led success,
(00:22):
whichever way you want to flipit.
Failure or spirit-led success,whichever way you want to flip
it.
This weekend we were at thebeach and it was one of those
perfect July days.
It was just beautiful and therewas a family.
A lot of families can just comedown for a week or two and we
used to be that family, so Icould tell they were here just
for a week and the grandpa wasplaying with the little boy and
(00:47):
he was about two and he wasthrowing a football and the
little guy was like holding hisarms out and the grandpa was
trying to throw the ball intohis arms and he didn't catch it
in his arms but after it bouncedoff of him he could catch it.
It was a nerf football.
He could catch it in the sandand he was all excited and then
he he would throw it back.
He had a very good throwback,by the way, for a two year old.
(01:09):
So this went on for a while andI thought he's so into it.
He's just following his joy.
He doesn't even care that he'snot catching the ball.
Like, why can't I be more likethat?
Why do I care so much all thetime that it's got to be right
that?
Why do I care so much all thetime that it's got to be right?
(01:29):
And that's often the way wedefine success.
Often we're conditioned tochase external markers and
sometimes they are successindicators money awards, grades,
titles.
But what if true success isn'treally something we chase?
What if it's something weactually allow?
After a few minutes of this,his older brother came over and
(01:55):
the little kid was still havingsuch a good time and he looked
at him and he was like, throw itto me, he can't catch the ball.
And the poor little guy, hiswhole face was downtrodden and I
thought how often do we feelgood about something until
success gets redefined for us bysomeone else, someone outside
(02:19):
of us, and we lose that feelingof feeling good.
We lose that feeling of doingwhat we want and not caring as
much about the result.
Or maybe the result was notcatching the ball, maybe the
result, the joy of this waschasing after the ball on the
(02:40):
sand and finding a couple shellsalong the way and throwing it
back to his grandpa.
So how often do we outsourcewhat we grade ourselves with?
How often do we give away thatmuch power to somebody else?
And it's very often thatsomebody will come to me and say
(03:05):
I'll ask how their week isgoing and they'll say well, I
failed at something and I'll sayfailed who?
Who did you fail?
Very often people misspeak theirfailure and sometimes society,
(03:31):
religion, well-meaning familymembers, well-meaning people in
our lives help us define whatthey consider success is.
We take that on and we actuallybecome, after a while,
desensitized to the guidancethat we have coming in, which
leads us more towards how do Iactually feel about this?
We live in a culture that'svery much driven by how much we
(03:58):
do, how hard we work, howperfect we look, how fast we can
get there.
Human doings, right Humandoings, and yet how many
successful people are deeplyunhappy.
Wayne Dyer was once quoted assaying you are not a human doing
, you're a human being.
(04:20):
And that simple reminder invitesus to look inward, to define
success more about how we feel,not just about what we achieve.
When you think about it.
How quickly can I return tomyself?
(04:40):
How quickly can I bring myselfback into a state of loving my
life and feeling good?
That, to me, is success, and wecall this spirit-led success.
Spirit-led success is not drivenby pressure.
It's guided by peace.
It's the kind of success thatdoesn't end up costing you your
(05:04):
health or your joy or yourauthenticity, and it's guided by
flow.
What feels good, what feelsright?
By flow, what feels good, whatfeels right.
It doesn't mean that there's anabsence of acknowledgement and
it doesn't mean that there mightbe an absence of getting
(05:24):
recognized for doing a good job.
Everybody feels good when weget noticed.
We all feel good.
Approval is great and it'snatural.
It's natural that it's pleasingto us.
What we have to understand iswhen we start morphing ourselves
into someone who's constantlylooking for the approval and
(05:47):
altering what we do in order toget that approval and thinking
less of ourselves when we don'tget the approval.
Therein lies the problem, and Iknow in yoga classes and I was
very careful when I was ateacher not to do this I would
not praise people specificallyor give feedback about a pose
(06:11):
with someone's name, because ifI said great job, stan.
Then Stan would be looking forme to say great job next week
and he would think maybe if Ididn't say great job, because
maybe I was noticing someoneelse or maybe he wasn't doing a
great job, then he didn't do aswell.
He would be measuring hisindicator by my external
(06:31):
feedback, and this is a stickyplace for a lot of us.
Esther Hicks teaches us thatwhen we align our vibration with
what we want not just what wefear or need, but the other end
of the stick, what launched thatdesire we become a magnet for
(06:55):
inspired action and perfecttiming.
There's a lot of synchronicityin our lives, but it's not about
the striving.
It's more so about allowing.
So here's an example that I wastalking about this weekend with
my husband.
It's like we create analgorithm.
(07:15):
When we're watching any contentTikTok, youtube, facebook X If
we shop on our phones, if wehave a conversation around Siri
or Google that personally drivesme crazy we put our attention
and focus on something.
And the next day, when we openup our phones or turn on our
computers, what's it suggesting?
(07:36):
Even when we listen to music,spotify is paying attention.
It offers us new music pickedfor us.
Well, the same thing happenswhen we align with what we want,
and what we want in the name ofsuccess is actually the feeling
(07:56):
that that object, experience,person, et cetera gives us.
It isn't to say that it wasnever good to consider the
opinions of others.
Just to be mindful that you'restaying aligned to what's
feeling really truly authenticfor you and practice the feeling
that you get when you thinkabout how good that success is
(08:21):
going to be.
Practice that feeling withoutthe external and see what
happens in your life, see whatgets called into your life.
So what does spirit successactually look like?
It looks like you are presentand aware.
(08:41):
It looks like you are presentand aware.
You are able to return toyourself and feel peaceful, even
when things are uncertain.
You feel a sense of joy orpurpose or loss of self in a
(09:01):
positive way in the process, notjust the outcome.
You often feel in the flow.
You stop needing or caringabout validation because you're
actually aligned with yourvalues.
So it just feels good.
Validation feels good, but whenwe need it it becomes an
addiction.
It becomes an addiction.
(09:23):
So a growth-oriented soul iswhat Carol Dweck talks about,
and she talks about that in theframework of a growth mindset.
She also did a lot of researchyou might want to look into
about feedback versus praise andcompliments and it being
specific and timely, andfeedback and praise is a whole
(09:45):
other episode and the way thatit has the ability to have a
positive outcome on people.
But success in itself is notabout being the best.
That's a recipe for disasterand real failure at being happy
because you're constantlycomparing yourself to someone
(10:06):
else.
It's about getting better.
It's about learning.
It's about following your heartand stretching and becoming
more of who you are, allowing,more of what's here for you,
expanding Even when things don'tgo your way.
A spirit mindset says this mustbe redirecting me to something
(10:31):
even better, and that's growth,that's trust.
That is divine.
Timing is divine timing.
Living in intention is when yourinner world actually shapes
your outer world.
So I want you to take a momentand think have you ever had a
(11:03):
time in your life that you werepushing really hard for
something and it just wasn'tworking, when you kept trying to
make it happen like force, thetiming, the connections, the
results and after a while, howdid you feel?
Probably drained, and oftenit's not until people surrender
and almost even say out loud allright, I give up, let go.
You know, show me the way.
(11:25):
The path actually came clear.
And what comes next is almostalways unexpected and it is
always more aligned and notforced.
I ask myself.
This has happened to me so manytimes and I ask myself every
(11:46):
day what wants to flow throughme today.
Success looks different fordifferent people and to
different people.
Impose our ideas of success onsomeone else, whether it's
verbally or non-verbally.
(12:08):
They can just feel it.
Sometimes it's like a silentexpectation and it can be poison
to the creative process.
You know inside, when you'vesucceeded at something, you know
that feeling of satisfactionLike, oh my gosh, I had no idea
(12:30):
it could be this good, I'm sohappy with the way things are
and I allowed it to happen.
I set things up and it happened.
So what does success feel likein your soul?
So what does success feel likein your soul?
Where in your life do you feellike you're chasing success?
(12:52):
And maybe it's someone else'sidea of success?
What would be a little bitdifferent in your life if you
were trusting your path and justletting it unfold?
Naturally, where in my life doI feel a little bit like a
(13:15):
puppet, just searching for thatgold star to be put on my paper.
You know the gold star, thesmiley face, the smiley face.
So, throughout the day, youmight want to try on some of
(13:36):
these affirmations and pleasecontact me if you are ready to
embark on a coaching cycle withme.
I'm running some special summerpackages because I know summer
is a great time for change.
Step into a different version ofyourself, a lighter version, a
more pure version.
I'm aligned with the rhythm ofmy spirit.
Success flows through me when Irelease control.
(14:00):
I am open to divine timing andinspired action.
I no longer strive to prove.
I allow myself to be.
Failure sets me up for greatersuccess.
(14:24):
So, returning to alignment, ifyou have a couple of minutes and
(14:45):
you can just come and becentered and feel that soft
golden light in the center ofyour chest, just radiating peace
, return to yourself and askwhat does my spirit want to
express today?
And just listen.
Sync up with your own divinerhythm and carry this feeling
(15:13):
forward with you.
I'm really looking forward tohearing from you and walking
this journey with you.
Contact me on Instagram,message me on Facebook and I
hope to catch up with you soon.
Until then, just count me in,thank you.
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