August 4, 2025 • 21 mins
Discover the hidden costs of our most socially accepted dependency in this revealing exploration of screen addiction. When was the last time you could sit comfortably without reaching for your phone? This compulsion isn't weakness—it's neuroscience at work, and understanding it is the first step toward freedom.
Drawing from personal experience and client work, I unpack why breaking screen addiction proves uniquely challenging.
What makes this addiction particularly insidious is its invisibility.
Ready to break free? Share your digital detox experience by tagging me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/saristone2025/ and sign up on my landing page to be added to my email list so you can access special coaching offers available this month. Remember to check your spam folder for the confirmation email just in case!
Thank you for joining me!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, beautiful souls, and welcome back to
Transform your Life.
Just count me in.
I'm so glad that you're heretoday because this episode is
one that many of us need to hearBefore we dive in.
I wanted to make you aware ofsome specials that we're running
and remind you to please likeand subscribe to this podcast.
That does help me out a lot and, if you're inclined, leaving a
(00:24):
comment would be awesome.
I would love to hear from youand I do read the comments.
I do respond to people.
If you want to deepen theconnection, please go to my
landing page and there's a linkbelow for signing up and sign up
for my email list.
I'm running somespecials-to-school booster
package if you're interested intutoring and coaching for your
(00:47):
kids, or coaching packages andintroductory 15-minute
getting-to-know-you coachingcalls, which are being offered
for free in the month of August.
So I hope to see you there.
Hey, welcome, welcome.
Thank you so much for joiningme today.
This is Sari.
I'm your host on Just Count MeIn, and this episode today was a
(01:10):
little bit tricky for me to do.
It's about invisible addictions, specifically screen addiction,
and this is one that I havepersonal experience with, and a
lot of my clients also areencountering this with their
kids, and some of them are kidsthat are working through this
(01:33):
with me, and it came about in adifferent way, but I'll explain
that later.
So screen addiction is actuallythe most socially accepted
addiction of our time, and Ithink that's why it's so hard,
that's why it's so dangerous,because it's invisible.
No one seems to question it.
If we're being honest, how manyof us can't sit still for very
(02:00):
long without reaching for ourphones?
I know my husband was recentlyin a waiting room and literally
people of all ages nobody therewas probably 12 people in the
room.
Nobody was even making eyecontact with each other.
They were all on their phones.
And I'm not against it.
I'm talking, I'm recording thison a phone, I use my phone.
Okay, I stay connected topeople on my phone, but I'm just
(02:20):
saying it's not all one way orthe other.
And if I got anxious, if Ididn't have my phone for too
long, that's a different story.
And sometimes I just had tostart asking myself why am I
doing this again?
And I stopped doing thatbecause the question, just like
(02:44):
with any addiction, is not whyare you doing it, how did you
start?
What age did you start.
Those are relevant questions,but that doesn't get to the root
.
What gets to the root of anyaddiction whether it's drinking,
shopping, binge, eating drugsis how does this make me feel?
(03:05):
What do I get from theexperience?
How do I feel when I'm doing it?
And that's how I work withpeople that have eating
disorders.
It's how I've worked withpeople that have drug addictions
.
It's how I've worked withpeople that had addictions to
(03:26):
inappropriate apps on theirphone.
I'll say and it's all in, notin the guilt and not in feeling
like you're bad at discipline.
Really you're not weak.
People are just unaware.
And I wasn't weak when Irealized I was having a problem
(03:49):
staying off my phone.
I just didn't yet have thetools to get my brain rewired
and release the emotional loopand then align with something a
little bit deeper.
And that's actually whattoday's episode is all about.
One of the reasons that breakingaddiction is so hard is because
neuroscience has taught us thatwe are wired to go towards
(04:11):
pleasure and away from pain.
And let's face it, it hurts,it's painful.
It's not what we would ratherdo when we are breaking an
addiction.
The addiction actually, what weget out of it actually feels
good or serves a purpose, and inorder to break addiction, the
person has to separatethemselves from the pain that
(04:35):
they're going to feel in thismoment of not partaking in their
addiction and be able to focuson the fact that it will be good
for them in the long term.
This is hard.
It's harder for people under 25because of the brain
development, but it's also justplain hard for human beings.
(04:57):
So we also have a belief, insome weird way, that warnings
don't seem to apply to us, andthis has come out recently too,
and this is all neuroscience.
It's amazing to me, but we allhave a little bit of that in us.
You know well, I can get awaywith this even though there's a
warning label about it.
(05:18):
Or this warning doesn't reallyapply to me because you fill in
the blank, doesn't really applyto me because you fill in the
blank and where some peoplemight be overcautious for
warnings, our innate instinct isalmost to believe that the
warnings don't really apply.
So that makes it hard.
Also.
Breaking an addiction alsorequires motivation, and and to
(05:42):
be motivated we have to want todo it and let's face it, in the
moment, we don't want to do whatwe haven't done yet.
We don't want to do thedifferent thing.
We want to stay with what weare comfortable with, with what
is giving us that good feeling.
So, again, it's a matter ofoverriding your instincts,
(06:04):
actually, and having goodconversation with your brain
about long-term results.
And you, and only you, can havethis.
I mean, I can coach you, youcan look up studies, you can
make a vision board.
Ultimately, if somebody tellsyou to do something, we're all
(06:25):
the same about that.
We just push right against itand we shut down.
So this is one of the big areasthat we work with is changing
the way we actually speak toourselves and what we actually
believe, and tapping into thatplace in our brains that is
(06:46):
connected to who we are in ourhighest state, in our greatest
state, in our desired state, andmaking that the familiar.
And that is one of thetechniques that I use when I
coach and we've had really goodsuccess and it's what I did with
myself with the phone and it'swhat I did with myself with the
phone and it's working.
(07:07):
Habits and addictions createneural pathways.
We'll take a little the brain101 here, so it's well-worn
roots in the brain and the brainruns about 95 percent of its
functions subconsciously.
So we do have to get in andwork with the subconscious to
make lasting changes.
(07:28):
Your body also often remembersthe pattern before your
conscious mind even catches it.
So some of the things that Ifound useful when I was kicking
the screen addiction andlearning how to use it in a
responsible, limited way was Istarted to interrupt the pattern
(07:49):
and when I was going to reachfor my phone, I would ask myself
why.
You know, could you actuallyjustify what it is you're
actually really feeling rightnow?
Are you feeling bored?
Are you feeling anxious?
Do you just want something tooccupy your mind?
Are you trying to avoid?
Are you feeling anxious?
Do you just want something tooccupy your mind?
Are you trying to avoidsomething that you don't want to
(08:09):
do?
I also practiced visualizationand I did use visualization a
lot when I was in this process,because we know that that
rewires the brain for reward andsafety without the addiction.
So I would just imagine myselfputting the phone down and
(08:31):
walking away.
I would imagine myself going awhole day on a Sunday without
being on my phone, and yourbrain doesn't know the
difference.
Coaches and athletes have knownthis for years.
You're the same places light upin your brain and they see this
under brain scans when you'rethinking about an activity as
(08:52):
when you're doing an activity.
And if you want to learn moreabout this, bruce Lipton,
biology of Belief, has a greatbook about it.
He's also got, I'm sure, apodcast.
So because every time I madethe habit of picking up my phone
and then taking a deep breathand putting it down if I didn't
really need it for something, Istarted to make a habit and
(09:15):
repetition forms new pathways inthe brain.
So we know that things thatfire together wire together.
Your brain likes familiar.
Your brain's main job is justto keep you safe and keep you
alive.
So when something unfamiliarcomes up, it's you know.
Oh, this is new.
For Sari, I don't think this issafe for her, and back in the
(09:37):
old days this would have servedme very well if I was cast out
of a tribe or if I went down thewrong road or if I picked a
poison as berry and ate it.
But the brain hasn't caught upwith what we've evolved to in
these times and so we go intothat reactive state when it's
something new, when actuallythere is no danger.
(09:58):
So I remind myself by taking afew breaths that I am safe and
it can be that simple.
So I also wanted to research,because when I was digging in
with the kids I work with, Italked about what is happening
in your brain, what happens inmy brain when this happens.
(10:20):
Every single scroll or dinggives you a hit of dopamine,
which is a great reward.
Great reward the brain getswired for instant gratification
and also constant stimulation.
Now, do you want to be livingin a world where you're only
happy when you have instantgratification and constant
(10:40):
stimulation?
And I think not.
If it doesn't bother you, gofor it.
I don't personally think it'shealthy and over time, this can
lead to things that are nothappy.
It can lead to things likeThings like inattention, anxiety
, sleep problems, decreasedcreativity, memory problems, and
(11:06):
now they're looking atemotional problems like numbness
.
That area of your brain getsused less and then, as a result,
you're emotionally not asaccessible, and that's a scary
one for me.
So, when you think about it,what kind of problems are we
looking at?
(11:27):
How many people or children oradults do you know that have
attention problems, and how manypeople do you know have anxiety
?
I mean, I have to stop andthink about someone who doesn't
have anxiety.
How many adults and now kidshave the melatonin gummies and
(11:48):
the bubble baths and everythingbecause there's a lot of sleep
problems now.
I'm sure there are many otherreasons for things that are
going on in the world andpossibly in the environment,
possibly in what we're eating,but the screen is part of it.
I recommend that people createa moat for themselves and they
(12:09):
have at least 45 minutes in themorning without any technology
and 45 minutes at night withoutany technology.
Teens actually spend over eighthours a day on screens and
adults average seven plus hours,and they're not talking about
when the kids are in school.
(12:30):
This is in addition to school.
So cortisol and the nervoussystem is a whole other podcast
episode, but we'll do a quickone for as it relates to this
situation.
Every time your phone buzzes,your cortisol actually rises and
that's a miniature fight orflight.
(12:52):
And if you've noticed people'swaistlines, this is where a lot
of people have problems rightnow.
It's a whole belly fat thingand maybe it could be food,
could definitely have somethingto do with it.
It might be exercise, but veryfit people also have that.
It's called the cortisol beltof what they call hyper arousal
(13:21):
and you can actually feelanxious, doing nothing because
your body is so addicted to thechemical rush.
So getting anxious over notfeeling anxious it sounds crazy.
But we're not addicted to thescreen.
We're addicted to how thescreen makes us feel.
It makes us feel busy, it canmake us feel distracted, it can
(13:41):
make us feel aroused, it canmake us feel not alone, it can
make us feel in control.
So at the emotional root ofevery addiction is what are you
avoiding?
When I first started coaching,some people said to me about a
(14:02):
client I had oh, this kid, he'sgot a death wish, this is what
he's doing and these are thedrugs that he's doing right now.
And it occurred to me thatreally it wasn't a death wish.
This was what was keeping himalive.
He started doing drugs ratherthan bearing the pain of his
life because the pain was toogreat to bear and he wanted to
(14:25):
kill himself and he wanted tostay alive.
So I started to think about itlike that.
It was how it made him feel,not why he started.
It was the result.
And the result was that he wasnumb enough that where he could
handle the pain or not deal withthe pain.
So what am I reaching for thisscreen to avoid.
(14:50):
Am I lonely?
Am I feeling bored?
Am I sad about something?
And then it becomes a cycle,because then you're ashamed
about something, which is theworst vibration to be, and then
am I feeling ashamed about thisand the screen becomes actually
a soother for deeper wounds.
(15:12):
Real freedom always comes fromcuriosity, not shame.
Spiritual perspective is anotherthing that I looked at with
some of my clients and Irealized that, and with myself,
to tell you the truth, on myjourney, I realized that it was
(15:34):
pulling me away from my soul'sguidance.
I would get a really good ideaabout something I wanted to do
or I wanted to work on.
I'd be getting really goodguidance.
And then I'd go past my phoneand pick up my phone and I mean
look at the weather Like whatdoes it matter, you know?
And then I would look at theweather oh, how's the weather
where my kids live?
(15:55):
Like that really matters.
I mean, it's embarrassing forme to admit this to you, but
this is the truth.
This is the level I was at andI'm so happy to not be living
like that anymore.
I feel so much better to havelet that go, because I called
myself out on it.
Constant distraction was justpulling me away from my soul's
guidance.
(16:17):
The invitation here is to returnto the stillness we've been
talking about, to the presenceI've been talking about, to the
now, and we can all think of atime when we missed something
really magical, reallymiraculous, because we were
scrolling on our phones.
(16:38):
Ram Dass said the quieter youbecome, the more you can hear.
So some questions for you.
What do I feel right before Ireach for my phone?
What emotions or situations doI avoid by scrolling?
(17:02):
What would I do with that timeand energy if I weren't on a
screen?
And what boundaries do I needto reclaim my time and my mind?
And what's a reasonable screentime is different for everybody.
(17:23):
There's not a one-size-fits-all,but I think as educators, as
parents, as adults, as children,as teens, we all need to be
educated about what we are doingto ourselves.
We need to know what the foodswe put into our body are doing.
We need to know what theexercise does for us, how our
(17:45):
environment affects us, thepeople around us.
We need to be aware of energy.
We just need to be aware ofthings more than just our
physicality.
In this case, we need to beaware of the result of being on
the screen and how much is toomuch and what it's actually
doing and why we are reachingfor it.
(18:06):
If we're reaching for itbecause we're connecting with
somebody in our family, okay.
If we're reaching for itbecause we're connecting with
somebody in our family, okay.
If we're reaching for itbecause we're bored and we want
to just shop, we maybe need tothink about some different
things we can do with our time.
If we're reaching for itbecause we're anxious when we
don't have it, we need to startpracticing spacing and taking
(18:29):
longer and longer times withoutit and figuring out other ways
to get dopamine and serotonin,get things balanced out and make
some new neural pathways.
I've had to release the need tobe constantly stimulated and
feel safe in stillness andsilence, and I love the way I
(18:54):
feel in stillness and silencenow.
A good affirmation to try on ismy mind is clear, my heart is
open, my spirit is grounded andI honor my time, attention and
energy.
My heart is open, my spirit isgrounded and I honor my time,
(19:19):
attention and energy.
I choose connection overdistraction.
So here's a little practicechallenge you can try a 20, and
I was trying this on Sundays a24-hour screen break or a
no-scroll warning, and you canreplace your screen time with
things like walking outside,journaling.
(19:41):
Some of the people I work withhave started drawing, sketching,
just sitting in stillness,maybe reading something.
That's good for you, talking tosomeone you love, and I would
really like for you to share onInstagram any stories or tag me,
try 24 hours off social andtell me what you notice.
(20:01):
So tag me at sarystone25, justcount me in and I will share
your wins.
If today's episode spoke tosomething inside of you, please
remember to subscribe, if youhaven't done so already, to the
podcast.
That helps us out a lot, andleave us a message, because I do
respond to the messages and I'dlove to hear from you.
(20:22):
I also want to remind you thatI'm doing some specials and I've
got a landing page that you canclick on the link below and
sign up for my email list.
That would be great, and I willmake you aware of the specials
when you sign up for theemailing list.
Thank you.
Hello, beautiful souls, and welcome back to
Transform your Life.
Just count me in.
I'm so glad that you're heretoday because this episode is
one that many of us need to hearBefore we dive in.
I wanted to make you aware ofsome specials that we're running
and remind you to please likeand subscribe to this podcast.
That does help me out a lot and, if you're inclined, leaving a
(00:24):
comment would be awesome.
I would love to hear from youand I do read the comments.
I do respond to people.
If you want to deepen theconnection, please go to my
landing page and there's a linkbelow for signing up and sign up
for my email list.
I'm running somespecials-to-school booster
package if you're interested intutoring and coaching for your
(00:47):
kids, or coaching packages andintroductory 15-minute
getting-to-know-you coachingcalls, which are being offered
for free in the month of August.
So I hope to see you there.
Hey, welcome, welcome.
Thank you so much for joiningme today.
This is Sari.
I'm your host on Just Count MeIn, and this episode today was a
(01:10):
little bit tricky for me to do.
It's about invisible addictions, specifically screen addiction,
and this is one that I havepersonal experience with, and a
lot of my clients also areencountering this with their
kids, and some of them are kidsthat are working through this
(01:33):
with me, and it came about in adifferent way, but I'll explain
that later.
So screen addiction is actuallythe most socially accepted
addiction of our time, and Ithink that's why it's so hard,
that's why it's so dangerous,because it's invisible.
No one seems to question it.
If we're being honest, how manyof us can't sit still for very
(02:00):
long without reaching for ourphones?
I know my husband was recentlyin a waiting room and literally
people of all ages nobody therewas probably 12 people in the
room.
Nobody was even making eyecontact with each other.
They were all on their phones.
And I'm not against it.
I'm talking, I'm recording thison a phone, I use my phone.
Okay, I stay connected topeople on my phone, but I'm just
(02:20):
saying it's not all one way orthe other.
And if I got anxious, if Ididn't have my phone for too
long, that's a different story.
And sometimes I just had tostart asking myself why am I
doing this again?
And I stopped doing thatbecause the question, just like
(02:44):
with any addiction, is not whyare you doing it, how did you
start?
What age did you start.
Those are relevant questions,but that doesn't get to the root
.
What gets to the root of anyaddiction whether it's drinking,
shopping, binge, eating drugsis how does this make me feel?
(03:05):
What do I get from theexperience?
How do I feel when I'm doing it?
And that's how I work withpeople that have eating
disorders.
It's how I've worked withpeople that have drug addictions
.
It's how I've worked withpeople that had addictions to
(03:26):
inappropriate apps on theirphone.
I'll say and it's all in, notin the guilt and not in feeling
like you're bad at discipline.
Really you're not weak.
People are just unaware.
And I wasn't weak when Irealized I was having a problem
(03:49):
staying off my phone.
I just didn't yet have thetools to get my brain rewired
and release the emotional loopand then align with something a
little bit deeper.
And that's actually whattoday's episode is all about.
One of the reasons that breakingaddiction is so hard is because
neuroscience has taught us thatwe are wired to go towards
(04:11):
pleasure and away from pain.
And let's face it, it hurts,it's painful.
It's not what we would ratherdo when we are breaking an
addiction.
The addiction actually, what weget out of it actually feels
good or serves a purpose, and inorder to break addiction, the
person has to separatethemselves from the pain that
(04:35):
they're going to feel in thismoment of not partaking in their
addiction and be able to focuson the fact that it will be good
for them in the long term.
This is hard.
It's harder for people under 25because of the brain
development, but it's also justplain hard for human beings.
(04:57):
So we also have a belief, insome weird way, that warnings
don't seem to apply to us, andthis has come out recently too,
and this is all neuroscience.
It's amazing to me, but we allhave a little bit of that in us.
You know well, I can get awaywith this even though there's a
warning label about it.
(05:18):
Or this warning doesn't reallyapply to me because you fill in
the blank, doesn't really applyto me because you fill in the
blank and where some peoplemight be overcautious for
warnings, our innate instinct isalmost to believe that the
warnings don't really apply.
So that makes it hard.
Also.
Breaking an addiction alsorequires motivation, and and to
(05:42):
be motivated we have to want todo it and let's face it, in the
moment, we don't want to do whatwe haven't done yet.
We don't want to do thedifferent thing.
We want to stay with what weare comfortable with, with what
is giving us that good feeling.
So, again, it's a matter ofoverriding your instincts,
(06:04):
actually, and having goodconversation with your brain
about long-term results.
And you, and only you, can havethis.
I mean, I can coach you, youcan look up studies, you can
make a vision board.
Ultimately, if somebody tellsyou to do something, we're all
(06:25):
the same about that.
We just push right against itand we shut down.
So this is one of the big areasthat we work with is changing
the way we actually speak toourselves and what we actually
believe, and tapping into thatplace in our brains that is
(06:46):
connected to who we are in ourhighest state, in our greatest
state, in our desired state, andmaking that the familiar.
And that is one of thetechniques that I use when I
coach and we've had really goodsuccess and it's what I did with
myself with the phone and it'swhat I did with myself with the
phone and it's working.
(07:07):
Habits and addictions createneural pathways.
We'll take a little the brain101 here, so it's well-worn
roots in the brain and the brainruns about 95 percent of its
functions subconsciously.
So we do have to get in andwork with the subconscious to
make lasting changes.
(07:28):
Your body also often remembersthe pattern before your
conscious mind even catches it.
So some of the things that Ifound useful when I was kicking
the screen addiction andlearning how to use it in a
responsible, limited way was Istarted to interrupt the pattern
(07:49):
and when I was going to reachfor my phone, I would ask myself
why.
You know, could you actuallyjustify what it is you're
actually really feeling rightnow?
Are you feeling bored?
Are you feeling anxious?
Do you just want something tooccupy your mind?
Are you trying to avoid?
Are you feeling anxious?
Do you just want something tooccupy your mind?
Are you trying to avoidsomething that you don't want to
(08:09):
do?
I also practiced visualizationand I did use visualization a
lot when I was in this process,because we know that that
rewires the brain for reward andsafety without the addiction.
So I would just imagine myselfputting the phone down and
(08:31):
walking away.
I would imagine myself going awhole day on a Sunday without
being on my phone, and yourbrain doesn't know the
difference.
Coaches and athletes have knownthis for years.
You're the same places light upin your brain and they see this
under brain scans when you'rethinking about an activity as
(08:52):
when you're doing an activity.
And if you want to learn moreabout this, bruce Lipton,
biology of Belief, has a greatbook about it.
He's also got, I'm sure, apodcast.
So because every time I madethe habit of picking up my phone
and then taking a deep breathand putting it down if I didn't
really need it for something, Istarted to make a habit and
(09:15):
repetition forms new pathways inthe brain.
So we know that things thatfire together wire together.
Your brain likes familiar.
Your brain's main job is justto keep you safe and keep you
alive.
So when something unfamiliarcomes up, it's you know.
Oh, this is new.
For Sari, I don't think this issafe for her, and back in the
(09:37):
old days this would have servedme very well if I was cast out
of a tribe or if I went down thewrong road or if I picked a
poison as berry and ate it.
But the brain hasn't caught upwith what we've evolved to in
these times and so we go intothat reactive state when it's
something new, when actuallythere is no danger.
(09:58):
So I remind myself by taking afew breaths that I am safe and
it can be that simple.
So I also wanted to research,because when I was digging in
with the kids I work with, Italked about what is happening
in your brain, what happens inmy brain when this happens.
(10:20):
Every single scroll or dinggives you a hit of dopamine,
which is a great reward.
Great reward the brain getswired for instant gratification
and also constant stimulation.
Now, do you want to be livingin a world where you're only
happy when you have instantgratification and constant
(10:40):
stimulation?
And I think not.
If it doesn't bother you, gofor it.
I don't personally think it'shealthy and over time, this can
lead to things that are nothappy.
It can lead to things likeThings like inattention, anxiety
, sleep problems, decreasedcreativity, memory problems, and
(11:06):
now they're looking atemotional problems like numbness
.
That area of your brain getsused less and then, as a result,
you're emotionally not asaccessible, and that's a scary
one for me.
So, when you think about it,what kind of problems are we
looking at?
(11:27):
How many people or children oradults do you know that have
attention problems, and how manypeople do you know have anxiety
?
I mean, I have to stop andthink about someone who doesn't
have anxiety.
How many adults and now kidshave the melatonin gummies and
(11:48):
the bubble baths and everythingbecause there's a lot of sleep
problems now.
I'm sure there are many otherreasons for things that are
going on in the world andpossibly in the environment,
possibly in what we're eating,but the screen is part of it.
I recommend that people createa moat for themselves and they
(12:09):
have at least 45 minutes in themorning without any technology
and 45 minutes at night withoutany technology.
Teens actually spend over eighthours a day on screens and
adults average seven plus hours,and they're not talking about
when the kids are in school.
(12:30):
This is in addition to school.
So cortisol and the nervoussystem is a whole other podcast
episode, but we'll do a quickone for as it relates to this
situation.
Every time your phone buzzes,your cortisol actually rises and
that's a miniature fight orflight.
(12:52):
And if you've noticed people'swaistlines, this is where a lot
of people have problems rightnow.
It's a whole belly fat thingand maybe it could be food,
could definitely have somethingto do with it.
It might be exercise, but veryfit people also have that.
It's called the cortisol beltof what they call hyper arousal
(13:21):
and you can actually feelanxious, doing nothing because
your body is so addicted to thechemical rush.
So getting anxious over notfeeling anxious it sounds crazy.
But we're not addicted to thescreen.
We're addicted to how thescreen makes us feel.
It makes us feel busy, it canmake us feel distracted, it can
(13:41):
make us feel aroused, it canmake us feel not alone, it can
make us feel in control.
So at the emotional root ofevery addiction is what are you
avoiding?
When I first started coaching,some people said to me about a
(14:02):
client I had oh, this kid, he'sgot a death wish, this is what
he's doing and these are thedrugs that he's doing right now.
And it occurred to me thatreally it wasn't a death wish.
This was what was keeping himalive.
He started doing drugs ratherthan bearing the pain of his
life because the pain was toogreat to bear and he wanted to
(14:25):
kill himself and he wanted tostay alive.
So I started to think about itlike that.
It was how it made him feel,not why he started.
It was the result.
And the result was that he wasnumb enough that where he could
handle the pain or not deal withthe pain.
So what am I reaching for thisscreen to avoid.
(14:50):
Am I lonely?
Am I feeling bored?
Am I sad about something?
And then it becomes a cycle,because then you're ashamed
about something, which is theworst vibration to be, and then
am I feeling ashamed about thisand the screen becomes actually
a soother for deeper wounds.
(15:12):
Real freedom always comes fromcuriosity, not shame.
Spiritual perspective is anotherthing that I looked at with
some of my clients and Irealized that, and with myself,
to tell you the truth, on myjourney, I realized that it was
(15:34):
pulling me away from my soul'sguidance.
I would get a really good ideaabout something I wanted to do
or I wanted to work on.
I'd be getting really goodguidance.
And then I'd go past my phoneand pick up my phone and I mean
look at the weather Like whatdoes it matter, you know?
And then I would look at theweather oh, how's the weather
where my kids live?
(15:55):
Like that really matters.
I mean, it's embarrassing forme to admit this to you, but
this is the truth.
This is the level I was at andI'm so happy to not be living
like that anymore.
I feel so much better to havelet that go, because I called
myself out on it.
Constant distraction was justpulling me away from my soul's
guidance.
(16:17):
The invitation here is to returnto the stillness we've been
talking about, to the presenceI've been talking about, to the
now, and we can all think of atime when we missed something
really magical, reallymiraculous, because we were
scrolling on our phones.
(16:38):
Ram Dass said the quieter youbecome, the more you can hear.
So some questions for you.
What do I feel right before Ireach for my phone?
What emotions or situations doI avoid by scrolling?
(17:02):
What would I do with that timeand energy if I weren't on a
screen?
And what boundaries do I needto reclaim my time and my mind?
And what's a reasonable screentime is different for everybody.
(17:23):
There's not a one-size-fits-all,but I think as educators, as
parents, as adults, as children,as teens, we all need to be
educated about what we are doingto ourselves.
We need to know what the foodswe put into our body are doing.
We need to know what theexercise does for us, how our
(17:45):
environment affects us, thepeople around us.
We need to be aware of energy.
We just need to be aware ofthings more than just our
physicality.
In this case, we need to beaware of the result of being on
the screen and how much is toomuch and what it's actually
doing and why we are reachingfor it.
(18:06):
If we're reaching for itbecause we're connecting with
somebody in our family, okay.
If we're reaching for itbecause we're connecting with
somebody in our family, okay.
If we're reaching for itbecause we're bored and we want
to just shop, we maybe need tothink about some different
things we can do with our time.
If we're reaching for itbecause we're anxious when we
don't have it, we need to startpracticing spacing and taking
(18:29):
longer and longer times withoutit and figuring out other ways
to get dopamine and serotonin,get things balanced out and make
some new neural pathways.
I've had to release the need tobe constantly stimulated and
feel safe in stillness andsilence, and I love the way I
(18:54):
feel in stillness and silencenow.
A good affirmation to try on ismy mind is clear, my heart is
open, my spirit is grounded andI honor my time, attention and
energy.
My heart is open, my spirit isgrounded and I honor my time,
(19:19):
attention and energy.
I choose connection overdistraction.
So here's a little practicechallenge you can try a 20, and
I was trying this on Sundays a24-hour screen break or a
no-scroll warning, and you canreplace your screen time with
things like walking outside,journaling.
(19:41):
Some of the people I work withhave started drawing, sketching,
just sitting in stillness,maybe reading something.
That's good for you, talking tosomeone you love, and I would
really like for you to share onInstagram any stories or tag me,
try 24 hours off social andtell me what you notice.
(20:01):
So tag me at sarystone25, justcount me in and I will share
your wins.
If today's episode spoke tosomething inside of you, please
remember to subscribe, if youhaven't done so already, to the
podcast.
That helps us out a lot, andleave us a message, because I do
respond to the messages and I'dlove to hear from you.
(20:22):
I also want to remind you thatI'm doing some specials and I've
got a landing page that you canclick on the link below and
sign up for my email list.
That would be great, and I willmake you aware of the specials
when you sign up for theemailing list.
Thank you.
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