June 6, 2025 • 46 mins
Joyce and Han get personal in this one. From the chaos of moving a food cart to the slow-burn exhaustion of being visible all the time, they talk dating as small business owners, what it means to be “off-brand” Asian, and how parasocial weirdness can mess with your head. They unpack generational trauma, Korean parent dynamics, therapy taboos, and what it's like to build a life in Portland while still feeling like an outsider.
It’s real, funny, and kind of healing.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, Joyce. Hey Hon.
Hi, this is episode 3. Yep.
Are podcasts about being Asian and a small business in
Portland, OR? Lots of gems being dropped here.
Love it. Truth.
So how are you, Joyce? Doing pretty good.
Took a pretty nice nap at work today.
(00:21):
Hell yeah. Feeling pretty fired up,
motivated, productive. Nothing really to complain
about. How about you?
I have a lot of changes and shifts going on.
Right now. I'm moving the food cart from
downtown Portland to Southeast Portland, and I've done this
enough where I can. It's always the timing that
fucks it up. It's always like, oh, we have to
(00:43):
be open in two days because I have no money.
Where this time I was like I paste everything out in a good
manner. So.
Like, OK, we closed on Wednesday.
Today, just grab all the stuff that can fall off the shelf
tomorrow. Strap everything back together,
then the day after, then the dayafter, and then then it's go
time, then it it's like launch. It's like launch time.
Beautiful. Yeah.
So it's good. Yeah, I was wondering how you
(01:05):
were handling it with so much grace.
I don't go out. Yeah, I don't, I don't have, I
don't know. I think I feel so like
experienced. Yeah, you're seasoned.
I feel really really weathered and traumatized by the all the
other times I've done it. Yeah.
So you're kind of like you're, you're at peace, you're in Zen
(01:26):
mode through the chaos. Yeah, I think I've mentioned
this before is just because business wise I've seen what the
bottom looks like and instead ofOh well, this has happened to me
and this has happened to me and This is why I'm like this.
But I look at it as a experienceof just reframing it this like,
Oh well, I don't want to do thatagain.
Let's just keep going, just keepmoving and just, I think the
(01:50):
longer that you're especially inPortland, the longer that you're
in business, the closer you get to just being a solutions based,
I guess project manager. Good.
That's good to hear. Yeah, especially in Portland
being as liberal as it is and what have you, not that have any
judgements on that. It's just very easy to fall into
(02:12):
the whole let's just complain about it until we're exhausted
by the subject matter. Oh, that's what you meant, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, you know, or and it nothing gets done or fix it or
fix it, Yeah. Yeah, I'm right there with you.
Don't complain unless you're going to do something about it.
Yeah, yeah, the topic, the topic, he.
(02:34):
Said you wanted to dive in a little bit more personal today.
Yeah. So what we were talking about
this last week about dating and relationships and in relations
of being a small business is very, very, very, very, very,
very hard. I don't get it.
(02:55):
I don't think I've ever masteredit.
And like I think it was, it was way easier being married and
being a business owner than being single and a.
Business owner for sure. I mean, we hardly have time for
our friends sometimes. Yeah, yeah.
I think that's the thing that isthe hardest part is like
actually finding time. And then because time is so
(03:16):
precious to me and like I value the time to a point where I'm
like, well, I'm here, I'm hanging out and I'm present.
And that should be a lot, but then it's just not enough, you
know? I don't know.
I think it's just not enough as far as like, is it worth my
time? Oh, oh, you're saying your, your
standards for what your time is worth have gotten a little bit
(03:37):
stricter. Yeah, yeah, that's fair.
That happens with, I think just age 2 and everything.
Maturity, I don't know maturity.But yeah, that's, that's how I
feel too. I mean, like, especially like,
coming into contact with a lot of different people through my
work day and being excited aboutnew relationships and
friendships that could potentially blossom.
(03:58):
I'm also kind of limited there, too because in my mind, I'm
like, well, I already have a lotof people that I'm still trying
to get to know better. I can't add new people right
now. Like, I'm too distracted.
Like, I don't even have time formy, like, current friends or,
you know, that's how I feel at least.
And that's kind of a challenge I'm still working through.
But yeah, I can only imagine when it comes to the dating
(04:20):
scene. Yeah.
So I don't actively seek that out.
It's hard because I have you like and I think you do this as
well. I suspect is that you
compartmentalize a lot of the relationships, your friendships,
and how much time you can allot to certain things, especially
now like you're in your third trimester.
(04:41):
Yes. So you have to like, sleep, you
know, like nap is important, youknow, and it gets really
chaotic. There's another layer of excuses
now. I can't go out right now.
Yeah, yeah. I'm so excited.
Every parent has a different set, Yeah, you know, But it
always just comes out. I'm like, what?
No, I'm not doing that shit. Priorities.
Like, no, I'm hanging out with my kid and then it's just sort
(05:04):
of taking her everywhere. I mean, yeah, that's, that's the
cool part, when they're ready todo that.
Because I'm already like that. I'm like, I'd rather hang out
with my man, like honestly. Yeah, well, Terrance is amazing.
Do you find you have like limitswhen you have to do like social
events and stuff 'cause like goodies will pop up at different
markets and stuff like. That like.
(05:25):
Do you ever just 'cause this happens to me?
Like I just get like people fatigue.
It's hard. It's, it's really hard because
I, I hate to sound like such a grandma, but in theory I'm very
social, but in reality I have limited energy, especially
socializing kind of energy. And even though I'm kind of in
between, like I, I can be prettyextroverted, I guess in certain
(05:48):
settings, but I'm truly an introvert at heart.
So my recharging is done, not around people most of the time.
I mean, there's definitely people, groups of people that
like enrich my soul and I feel refreshed afterwards.
But generally I like to rest. I am also like being a small
business owner, being very frontfacing too.
It's just like, yeah, everything's social, It's all
(06:09):
built in. And yeah, when we're being
really active with work popping up at markets, doing events, I
kind of save my energy for thosethings because I know we're
going to have to do them either way.
And it's just like, we're on, right?
And yeah, as much as I like to think that afterwards, after
we're finished with the market, I can go and hang out with some
(06:30):
friends, I'm just usually so beat, so beat, and it takes me a
few days to recover. But yeah, I don't know.
I think with events and stuff like that, like I, I'm very
similar to you where my social battery will get drained and
then I will, what is it called? I will literally like
disassociate and then it's just a script I'm running off of,
(06:51):
especially when I'm seeing a lotof people.
But I've found I've found I'm either at certain, at different
points in my career, I've found I'm either getting closer to the
Instagram personality version ofmyself or getting further away
from the Instagram version of myself.
And so that actually has, that'sactually been a very funny thing
(07:16):
to watch because like back to trying to date and stuff like
that again. I'm like really into it.
You know, I've, I've been divorced for three years, but
it's been like it hasn't been high on my priority list, but I
definitely go out and I'll meet people and they will.
I've literally gotten this like verbatim of people that's like,
(07:36):
you are not like that person on Instagram.
And I'm like, oh, like I'm like,yeah, I think like you're really
a nice person. Yeah, yeah.
And I'm like, oh, does that. I've not hit when I'm ranting or
being like crazy or unhinged. And then on the other end of it,
(07:59):
I think this happens a lot with like restaurants and food based
and chef driven, owner driven places.
Is that the name and the chef's name kind of split.
You started getting invited as the chef of XYZ instead of it
just being like XYZ is pulling up.
(08:19):
And that's really, it's really fascinating when that happens
and it's, there's a duality thathappens.
And I'm, I'm wondering, I'm curious to see, I feel like it's
kind of happened with you. I think I've seen like Joyce
from Goody Snack Shop speaking at this instead of us being like
the owner of Goody Snack Shop speaking at this, you know?
Yeah, I guess so. Definitely not as much as you I
(08:40):
would say, but I'm still trying to get comfortable with when
people introduce me as Joyce of Goodies or whatever 'cause I I
still see myself as just Joyce. Yeah.
Joyce of many things really I just feel like goodies is just
another layer of things that we do but.
Yeah, but yeah. Do you feel like you're leaning
(09:01):
into your alter ego? No, no, you're.
Not you feel alienated by that alittle.
Bit I use it as a filter. Joyce Yeah.
No, I'm I'm sure because it's it's weird.
Social media is weird, too, because people tend to create
these, like, parasocial relationships with people.
Yeah. And it's really easy to fall
(09:21):
into, for sure. Yeah.
It's funny because when I do collabs at different restaurants
and there's like a lot of lion cooks, like lion cooks are like
some of my favorite people and Ilove just there's some lion
cooks on me and they're just like, wow, huge fan.
I'm like, oh, OK, so don't call me chef.
Like let's just hang out, bro. Let's just have a good time.
And then there's other people that I know that will gravitate
(09:44):
towards me and it'll just be very chill.
Maybe like later on it'll just be like, Oh yeah, like I was
really stoked to meet you because, you know, you're Kim
Jong grilling or whatever. But it it's always awkward for
me. Yeah, it's always.
Awkward because I think my personality type just always
leans the other direction because I've met so many chefs
that are like, I'm the chef of ex, you know?
(10:07):
Right, I'm just. Like you're still a bitch so.
No, I agree and I think maybe that's why I feel uncomfortable
and pull away from those kinds of things.
It's I'm hyper conscious of it. Do you think?
That's the Korean in US that makes that happen.
Maybe, I don't know, I've seen Koreans who totally own it too,
but I don't. Maybe it's a yeah immigrant kid
(10:29):
mentality, I'm not sure but. Interesting yo, I feel like.
People with a lot of privilege just, yeah, I'll own it, you
know? But I don't know.
I've always had a hard time withit, Yeah.
I feel like for me, I think there is something to be said
about the immigrant thing because a lot of, like, the
Asians and Koreans, the generations before us, you know,
like, especially ones from like,the 70s, like my mom's age,
(10:51):
like, they don't even want to beseen.
Yeah. Exactly you.
Know so like and they always they never want to make noise
that's. A part of me is literally that
person too. God, we're so.
Yeah. It's kind of annoying.
It is annoying because I can't turn it on and off.
Yeah, like, certain parts of my personality can definitely turn
on and off. I feel like.
Yeah, you know, like, be serious, you know, like, yeah.
(11:15):
But that social queue is really difficult.
And I think, like when I first moved here, that part, I really
didn't talk much about being Asian and being Korean.
Yeah. Versus now where it's like, it's
actually pretty like chic. I said this before that Asians
are trending. Yeah, it's.
Shiny. It's.
Really shiny now. And it's funny because I, like I
said, like in Portland, it's just so different.
(11:37):
Like it's it, it, it is really different.
I don't feel this in LA or I don't feel this in other places
that I walk around in. Oh.
Yeah, for sure. Coming from Lai feel like I
didn't realize this until I was here and started interacting
with people who grew up here, especially other Asian
Americans. But I realized that, yeah, I
kind of grew up in a way, I guess privileged and not knowing
(11:58):
in the sense that I had so much access to other people like me.
Oh. Yeah, it was like.
Easier to be Asian in some ways.I took a lot of things for
granted. So coming here, I felt like that
lack of the access to my culturethat felt so easy to access
before, right? Which, yeah, it's, it's weird.
(12:20):
It's kind of like it drew more of that Koreaness out of me
because I was like, I, I need it.
It's part of my identity. And I felt so unseen here in
some ways up until I started finding my people, of course.
But yeah, there's it's very different.
I think you were in a conversation with me.
I think we're at Noel's house, by the way.
(12:41):
Really, Miss Noel. I.
Really, Miss Noel. But it was that conversation we
had. I was like, is it that there's
more Asians moving to Portland, OR?
Oh yeah, that's right. Or is it that we just found our
people? And then I started, I like, some
days I'm just like, damn, I'm glad I have the five Asian
(13:01):
friends that I have. And then other days, I'm like,
holy shit, there's so many otherAsian kids out there that are
just, like, wondering, like wandering, you know, Because I
feel like when I moved here, like, I moved here like 20 years
ago, it was bleak, man. Yeah.
I'm sure I was. Like damn dude there's only two
places to get FA like this is crazy no places to get Korean
(13:22):
food or it was just really gate kept.
Yeah, that's insane. I mean, I felt like it was bleak
when I first moved here. But maybe, though, it had to do
with the pandemic, too. It was like 2012.
Oh yeah. You came in the pandemic.
But yeah, I don't know to that question.
Like are there more now? I'm sure it's both.
I'm sure there's more people moving here.
I'm sure there's more visibility.
(13:44):
I feel like a lot of us are now comfortable throwing up that bad
signal, whether it's through ourbusinesses or social media or
whatever. But I think we're getting better
at finding each other. And we're we're smart, yeah.
I think like a lot of the a lot of the events that I've been
doing, I feel more represented, yeah.
(14:05):
Yeah, you know. And it's cool.
I don't know where it's going. I feel like it's getting good,
but I, it is like one of the first times when I actually
really feel super comfortable inmy skin and feel really
comfortable and really seen. I just, it's just crazy to me
because Portland is so like it does like it almost doesn't
(14:26):
matter like how many of us are here.
It's like we still don't own a lot of the things.
It still feels like a new city in that aspect for to be Asian
American. A lot of us don't have the
leases on certain locations and buildings and stuff, whereas
historically they're all owned by like the same like 4 people
or something. Definitely.
And I think maybe that problem of that has created this little
(14:51):
cushion that maybe I didn't really notice where I grew up.
I see it more now too in other cities, but here I think maybe
it created that little cushion of like, hey, well we want to
celebrate culture. So I I am noticing more things
like, yeah, more specific gatherings.
Yeah, celebrating Asian Americanowned businesses, for example,
(15:13):
which at first I wasn't sure howI felt about.
Really. Yeah.
Because I was like, what? Who's running these things?
Is it? Is it run by our people?
Yeah. Yeah, but.
After, Yeah. I actually now really appreciate
it. It feels good.
It's nice, yeah. Yeah, I I agree.
I wonder there's obviously that trope, right?
There's like about different K towns in America, like New York
(15:38):
Koreans is LA Koreans, there's DC Koreans, there's Atlanta
Koreans, Chicago Koreans. And we all have our own
signature on our trauma. If you think about it, I think
that's the best way to describe it.
Like all of us have that, you know, like it's funny because
now I guess the partialism or like, I don't know if that's the
thing, but like not our inside racism, but it.
(16:01):
Judgments. The.
Judgments now like cause before when I was in Portland, I'd be
like, Oh my God, you're Korean I'm Korean too.
Yeah, but we're. Not the same.
He's like. But now it's just like, oh,
yeah, what's up? Yeah.
I'm like, oh, where you from? Like LA, I'm like, MMM.
Oh. You're getting pickier with
your, you know. Or like, it's not that you get
pickier, but you're just like, oh shit, what kind of agent are
you? Yeah, Now it's like there's
layers. It's like you're trying.
(16:21):
To categorize, yeah. Like oh, like again, I'm a very
compartmentalizing type of person.
So now I'm like, oh, sick. Like Korean.
What kind of Korean are you, like LA, Like oh, do you see?
They're like, oh, OK, you know, like that, like clutching their
purse more or they're like putting their hands in their
pockets, like oh, cool or. Actually LA or OC?
Yeah, like. OCLA though, like so, but I
(16:42):
think it's, but what is I, I want, I'm curious to see if one
day your kid or like Harlow goessomewhere and they're like, Oh
yeah, I'm Portland Korean. Like, oh shit, tattoos and weird
shit. You know what I mean?
Like, you know, because, OK, so growing up in DC, like, my mom
would be like, yeah, man, you, you really can't trust LA
(17:03):
Koreans. I'm like, what if they're
talking about us? Like, you're thinking like, this
is crazy. We're all still Koreans.
And I was like, I don't even know what the fuck you're
talking about. And then some of my brothers,
like my homies in Lai, when I met them, I still had that
stigma in my brain. And I was like, damn, look at
(17:25):
them like the big watches, like they're hell.
They the look is there. And then I'm like, oh, it's just
a brand thing. We're the same Korean.
Like you got hit just as much, if not more than I did, you
know? And yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if maybe maybe that'll go away when we get
older or something. Yeah.
Maybe, I don't know, identity isjust so complicated, but also
(17:48):
the way we look at each other, it's funny.
Do you feel like because you're in LA Korean?
Like do you did you ever, did you ever feel like any like
shade or hate from other Koreans?
OK, So when I'm here, like beingin Oregon, now in in Portland,
sure, I'm an LA Korean, whateverthat means.
(18:08):
But to me, when I was in Lai never felt like an LA Korean.
I actually felt really like an outsider in many ways.
I think I kind of have to like rewind and go back to like my
younger, like younger self. But I mean like I was originally
born in Atlanta, GA and then moved to yeah, I moved to Texas
for a short period of time, thenI moved all over LA.
(18:30):
So lived in the OC for a little bit, lived in K town, lived in
Highland Park, lived in South Pasadena all over.
So my identity was kind of strange.
And I also was like practically raised by Mexicans.
So at a certain point I thought I was Mexican.
And then at another point, like in my, I don't know, middles or
(18:53):
I, I don't even know when that happened, but I, I think all of
us maybe kind of go through this, but definitely rejected
all of my Korean Ness. Oh.
Absolutely. Thought I was a white girl.
And so when I kind of reconnected with some of the K
town folks that I had like kind of grown up with in elementary
school, I think this was around like high school age.
(19:15):
And this happened because my momforced me to go to like a Korean
church camp. Oh yeah, yeah.
So I. Reconnected with a bunch of
Korean kids who like Korean. Churches, yeah.
I know, super dark times. That's another topic to talk.
About It's a whole other episode, yeah.
Then I, like, was thrown into this world of, like, K town
Koreans. We'd go out to K town and drink
underage and, like, party. And I remember, like, loving it
(19:38):
but also feeling like, wow, I'm the white girl here.
Like, I feel so, like, out of place.
And they knew it too. They thought it was funny.
So yeah, I guess like, I never felt like an LA Korean, but
yeah, sure, being here, I am from LA, so yeah.
I think every Asian American goes to that.
(19:58):
I think we all just it it I, I think that is the norm
definitely. Because you can't, you can't be
loud and proud like growing up. Yeah, there's.
A dominant culture here there's.A dominant culture, This is
like, it is very oppressing. Yeah, it's a.
Survival thing, yeah. And it's, it's just funny that I
was just talking about this today, how like there's like a
certain diligent like mentality you have to have to like keep it
(20:21):
up. There are times in my life, from
this life, I hated it, you know,or I had to make the first Asian
joke or I had to validate or I had to like, set things
straight. And now, like, I wonder how much
of that went into my business because, I mean, the fucking
food trucks called Kim Jong Grillin, you know, and it like
the birth of that name was this,OK, So if everybody's fucking
(20:42):
white, everybody thinks Koreans instantly they're like, oh, are
you from North Korea? I'm like, yeah, you know, like,
absolutely. Whatever the fuck you want to
give me $15.00 for a rice plate,whatever you, whatever you want
to spend. But I don't think I could have
gotten to where I'm at without having a little bit of that
(21:03):
Korean self self deprecation. I think the, the wild card and
everything is that people are just like, holy fuck, the food's
good. You know, like there has to be a
better way to manage that. Because I really do believe
this, especially in Portland is like, if your business is too
Korean, you know, then you're not, you won't get linked into
(21:24):
the whole social media stuff. You won't be as seen, you know,
And I hate that I had to say that out loud, but it's true.
That's. True, you can't go mass.
Yeah. And, and it's it's hard to see
that like, I think Carlo from Magna would get this a lot.
(21:44):
Like he would get shade on both ends.
He'd be like, white folks, just like, that's odd, you know,
coming to his food. And then he'd have a bunch of
Filipino customers just be like,it's not Filipino enough.
Yeah. And like, and honestly, I get
it. I would get it sometimes.
And then the more accolades you get and the longer you're
(22:05):
around, those things go away. But it's still shocking to me
that there's other Koreans out there that look at me and
there's like, you're not really that Korean.
Yeah. But OK, So this is another thing
though. Sure.
Yeah, We're not Koreans from Korea.
Yeah, but we're. Still Korean?
(22:26):
Yeah, just as much as we're American.
Absolutely, absolutely. And I truly believe this is that
like Korean Americans are just the new Korean I, I'm sorry.
Like I like, I, like I had this argument with people, but not
with people, but with some Koreans.
They're just like, Oh yeah, likeKorean Americans lose their way.
(22:47):
They're too liberal this and that.
They're not disciplined. I'm just like, fuck you.
Who's buying all the Samsung TV's?
Who is who made BTS popular? Like we did, like we did.
Why are, why are all your entertainment like corporates in
LA? And again, I think that's such
an old school way of thinking. I think it kind of goes back to
(23:08):
just like just like to set judgement from like the older
generation you. Know well we don't want to be
stunted in the old ways. We've figured some shit out,
yeah, and we're moving forward. Yeah, it's just hard to do that
without therapy, Yeah. Definitely.
That's another evolution. Koreans in Korea.
(23:30):
I'm sorry this is maybe an over generalization.
No, they don't believe in therapy.
They don't believe in mental illness, I.
Heard that. Like going and seeing a
therapist is like a bougie thingout there, yeah.
That's like. Only Koreans would do that.
Like, oh, you voice your mental,like your mental problems to
(23:51):
somebody must. You must be making some money.
You know I can. See that?
Definitely. Did you see that?
Yeah. That's so funny.
And. On the opposite end, I could see
just like some just like hard, like just just the hardest, like
Oppa's just being just like what?
Just go fight somebody, you know, like what you don't just
drinking it out, you know, like just have a.
(24:11):
Few bottles. No, yeah, I, I love my parents,
but my dad's definitely way moreflexible now.
But when I was younger and I, I remember I had my first mental
breakdown and I, I went to him and I was like, dad, I think I
need therapy. Like I think I'm depressed.
And he says, no, no, no, you're healthy.
That's what he said. And he understands these things
(24:33):
a lot better now. But like, I think people take
that really personally. Like, no one in my family has
mental illness. Everyone's healthy.
They're OK. There's nothing wrong with them,
I think. The the same level of insults is
this you can't feed your kids orcan't pay your bills you.
Know what I mean? Which is like, fucking awful.
Like that's just hard, yeah. It's so shame driven but yes,
therapy is great. Yeah, absolutely.
(24:55):
I have 100% agree. The best way I can put this is
that, like, my relationship withmy mom is like, really evolved.
It's great. I don't know too many people
that could say that. Yeah.
That's good and. Sure, I have to get my divorce.
My mom moves here and she's justwatching my day-to-day, you
know, because she lives with me and I remember one time she was
(25:16):
just looking at me. She's like, fuck, you work a
lot. I'm like, oh, thank you.
I I think that was kind of a compliment and I was like, oh
hey, I have to I don't have to see my therapist.
And she's like, Oh my God, thankGod.
That's so good that like you're,you know, like taking like, I
feel like you just live a fucking hard life.
And I'm like, wow, thanks mom still.
(25:38):
Seen Yeah, I'm. Like, are you having a moment,
you know, like, where is this, like a real thing, you know?
But I think when it comes to mental health, it has to be
extra for that validation from like, the older, like your
parents or something. Yeah.
Like, some fucked up shit had tohappen.
And then they're just like, yo, go, go 'cause see one of those
(25:59):
therapists, you know, like, like, you can't just drink a
Bacchus and be OK, no. For sure.
That's really good to hear because as cheesy as that can
sound like breaking generationaltrauma, I think a lot of people
in our generation are really actively working on that.
I mean, for the betterment of our kids.
Like even just starting with I have a bro, a little brother.
(26:22):
He and I have witnessed like allthe toxic shit that our
families, like our our families in Korea have gone through with
each other and all the estrangement and holding grudges
and just not being good family, which sucks, especially when you
have such a small amount of people you can call family.
(26:43):
And so seeing all this, like, itcould either turn us into cold,
hard people or we just started communicating with each other
and being like, we can't be doing this shit with each other.
We can't be doing this with our families.
And we're not going to carry this shit forward.
Let's communicate. So just trying to be better,
yeah. I think one of the things, and I
(27:04):
don't recommend this to everybody, growing up, my mom
like broke me emotionally as a child, like as a child, like
before 9, yeah. Right.
But then as a teenager I had to break her and it was
heartbreaking. Yes.
You know, like cuz I mean at onepoint she's like just don't
(27:26):
fucking get arrested. And I did.
And she's just like, fuck. That was the worst thing she's.
Like you are like the worst thing that's happened to me in
my life. I'm like, but I got your
citizenship. Like I'm the reason why you're a
citizen. So just fuck you.
But that generational gap because it's so big, right?
Because like the generational gap between my daughter and I is
(27:47):
very small. Like we listen to same music.
There's a lot of things that like, we both like whether it's
we're influenced by each other or not, but my mom's generation
and your mom's your parents generation and, and you are,
it's just huge because we're also in America too.
Yes, I. I feel like nobody really
understands how difficult it is to, like, have to try to get
(28:10):
help from your family that doesn't understand what you're
doing because of the miscommunication of like what it
is like when I told my mom I wasdoing this, she's just like
Korean BBQ. Yeah, you're so bugaboo.
Yeah. Out of a truck.
Yes, You're gonna make rice in atruck.
That sounds. Like a hard life, yeah.
That sounds stupid, you know, And then you have to prove the
concepts over and over again, like repetitiously, and then
(28:32):
finally get the respect. But yeah.
I mean, we are practically speaking a different language.
Like, yeah, I've definitely found that over time we've
learned how to communicate with each other and I'm grateful for
that. Like at at this age now, I mean,
I've always had a pretty good open communication pathway with
my dad. Like, he really got me.
(28:53):
But my mom always, we always hada hard time.
She used to say, I have never met anyone like you and I gave
birth to you. Damn, really?
So I can only imagine how shocking that was to have a
child that you have all these like preconceived ideas of what
I'm going to be like. And probably she imagined like a
good little Korean girl or something like that.
(29:15):
But I was born in America and I was outspoken and independent
and talked back and yeah, it wasa piece of shit growing up at a
certain point in. Like yes.
In my teenage years, I was, but hey, I've matured a lot and I
wish you could see that now, butshe, she did get to see some of
(29:36):
the really good growth parts of my life too.
But yeah, we all go through it. It's just, it's interesting.
But getting to know our parents helps us understand how far also
we are from that. Yeah.
I think a lot of like relationships between immigrant
kids and their parents is because I, I, I do this too, is
(30:00):
like I, I think they see this ultimate privilege of birthing
you here. Yeah, You know, whereas all
Koreans are competitive. I was just like weird things.
They they're oddly competitive, you know?
You know. What I mean, it's a weird
survival thing, you know, I can bet.
On Koreans, yeah. Yeah, seriously.
Right. But The thing is, they look at
our position just like you're sofucking fortunate.
(30:21):
If I had, if I was in your shoes, I'd be president of this
country like 4 years ago, you know, not understanding that
pressure from them was soul crushing.
I love like having like different comebacks to my mom
because she'll like that's always complaints, man.
Like even if they're giving you a compliment, it sounds like
they're either yelling it. I love being of having a very
serious sound, like about to saysomething important to my mom
(30:42):
and I'll just be like, I really wish I didn't inherit all this
laziness from you. Like now I'm living with you.
Like you just watch TV like thisis crazy.
Like can you take the dog for a walk?
Like and then and I'm like, it doesn't feel good, does it?
You know, She's like, fuck you. I know those.
If I was younger, I'd kick your ass.
You know those. Backhanded compliments are so
(31:03):
yeah, triggering, but they. Work.
They work the other way though. Joyce.
Yeah, it's. Psychological.
Yeah. They work the other way and
it's, it's pretty funny. It's, it's pretty good, 'cause
I, I see it in my mom too. I'm just like, oh, see how
fucked up that is? Doesn't taste good, huh?
She. Gets it?
Yeah. She gets it, you know?
Yeah. Do you have a lot of events
coming up? Yes.
(31:25):
Actually, it just starts gettingpretty busy and crazy.
Next week starting to pick up. Yeah, we've got a couple in
store events this weekend. Next weekend we start popping up
out of store again, which we have been doing.
But yeah, it's that season. It's here.
Yeah. Do you feel like you've
progressively is it busier than the the year before with the
(31:48):
with your events and stuff? Yeah.
I mean, now we know like historically which events are
good for us. So we continuously do those and
those are already on our calendar.
And then there's a lot of incoming requests.
So yeah, we definitely are more active.
Yeah, man, like, events are starting to pile up for me in a
(32:10):
good way. And in like, sometimes,
unfortunately, like, sometimes like, the dates just don't line
up or what have you. And I think earlier in my career
it was just like, dude, just sayyes to everything, just get
known. But now I'm in this luxurious
position where I can pick and choose or create an event.
And I think a lot of times if I could go back and tell my
(32:31):
younger self, I'd just be like, hey, the sleep is worth it.
Yeah. You know, like don't this event
sounds good on paper, but it's not going to produce this.
And I finally figured out one ofthe hardest things is are you
bringing people? Are you bringing so much of the
people or are you going there and getting new people, right,
right for business. And the one thing I've realized
(32:52):
is like, there's certain events out there that like you have to
look at like it's a favor, it's an exchange, right?
So you're going to get more of my customers coming to you and
what have you. But then there's also those
events where you're like, you are the draw, right?
And you have to, you really haveto be diligent and understand
that definitely. Like I think sooner brands
(33:13):
understand that the better, the better suited you will be for
like the next level of things. Yeah, it's.
All about positioning and understanding what you bring to
the table. Yeah, but yeah, also quality
over quantity. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think now that's more important than ever.
I think in the beginning for me,I was just like, I'm just going
to be fucking everywhere. I'm going to be like that one
(33:34):
rapper on everybody's mixtape, you know?
And I think I think of one year,like I did, like I did a crazy
amount of events and people werejust like, dude, who the fuck
are you? Yeah, yeah.
Like you were at departure one day and now you're just slumming
it down here. I.
Hear that. Honestly, I think our first year
too, we settled yes to a lot because we needed to get a feel
for it. And also nobody, nobody knew who
(33:56):
we were. Nobody comes to Old Town.
So we were like, it's important for us to get out there and let
people know where we're at. And yeah, we're going into our
third year, so definitely have gotten a little bit more concise
about those things too. Because yeah, we're just the two
of us still, which is. Awesome, yeah.
Yeah, I feel like we've accomplished a lot in in those
(34:17):
couple years just between us 2. But this year we are definitely
growing our capacity. We're building a team.
Hopefully by the end of this year, we'll have like 3 or 4
teammates that'll, you know, be here in the field like just
really involved with. Yeah.
Oh. Joyce, I bet you'd be a really
good general. I bet you would.
I bet you'd just be like, no, put these forces here.
(34:38):
These guys that are ready to die.
We'll put them over here, you know, we'll hang back.
Calculated Risk calculated. Risks, you know, like that's, I
mean that's all like we do as like small business owners, you
know, that's. True, it really is.
It's it's that it's working withthe resources that we have,
which sometimes are very limited.
(34:58):
Just got to be smart and make your best bets and yeah, solve a
lot of fucking problems. Yeah, I think that's the fun
part to me. And I think it's really hard to
like going back to what we were talking about, like with with
making connections and even dating and stuff like that.
I've definitely, I've definitelybeen in situations where like
(35:20):
what's on your mind? I'm like, well, and I'll explain
it. They're like, oh, OK, you
hungry? I'm like, oh, oh, I'm so sorry.
That was weird. I didn't mean to like, mansplain
my whole fucking business plan to you, you know, But I think,
yeah, it's, it's weird. It's weird when it's such a big
(35:41):
part of your life and a big partof your identity, yeah.
And like, speak like it's funny,'cause like you laugh at me that
I've never dated an Asian person.
You're still giggling about it now?
No, I. Just I I think it's funny, but
I'll I'll explain why anyway. Why?
It's funny because you actually said something that I said many
(36:01):
years ago, too. You said I'm off brand for a lot
of Asians. Like Oh my God, yeah.
I don't think Asians would like me.
That's literally what I said. When I was younger before I
dated any Asians, I was like, no, I've actually still never
dated a Korean person and I don't think I'm going to get a
chance. But but I always used to say
Korean guys don't like me. I'm like too, way too off brand
(36:23):
for them. That's how I felt.
But after that I did date a couple Asian guys and was in
long term relationship with themand I think I corrected myself
on that. But anyway, I think it's funny,
but. There's a lot to be said about
that. I genuinely don't think I am.
I think. I think.
You'd be surprised, I don't. Know man, like I it's funny
(36:46):
because I've come to realize like some of the like my life
decisions just like Oh yeah, that's definitely not going to
attract an Asian person no. But in your past.
I don't, I don't think I presentvery well sometimes, Hey.
You're you're limiting yourself.I know.
I know, OK, perhaps I am, but I think a lot of times you're just
(37:08):
like, yeah, I, I don't know, man.
I just don't see it. I just don't.
I I'm sorry. It's so hard for me to see it
because like especially when I'mapproached, even when I like
with like approach with like other Asians and stuff like
that, like it's always this likethis weird, like Kim Jong Un an
identity or like they're like, oh shit, dude, that dude's like
OG or something or like I guess.That's true.
(37:29):
I mean, yeah, especially with that, with people's projections
of what they expect of you. You got to meet someone who
doesn't know about Kim Chunk. Yeah.
Well, OK, yeah, that's fair too.But the other right.
But then that's when that stereotype in my brain kicks in.
It's just like, you're like, oh,I'm like, hey, how's it going?
(37:49):
Like, Oh yeah, I'm Korean. And they're just like, damn.
Really well. Listen, OK, so hand.
Tattoos bro like. There's all sorts of Asians,
first of all, you know, true, true.
True, true. There's.
Your type of Asian somewhere andmaybe oh.
Yeah, maybe it'll. Be something really unexpected.
But yeah, yeah. Never met a guy like you either,
so yeah. OK, but they.
(38:10):
Exist. This is proof they exist, you
know, So I mean, it's just funnypeople.
Exist somewhere out there, I mean.
OK, like. That's true, though I I feel
that the. Stereotype that I really
believed before I knew enough when I was growing up and saying
no Korean guys wouldn't like me.The only Koreans I knew were
like the gangster K town guys and then the nerdy ass.
(38:33):
Like stay at home and video gamelike guys you know.
Oh, and then the church boys. So it was just like, none of
those. Yeah, none.
Of those are in your within thatthe wheelhouse yeah and.
I'm not anyone's flavour for that either, so anyway, OK.
That's fair. You'll.
Surprise yourself too, but just open your mind, yeah?
I mean, even now, like I'm so accustomed to like a friend of
(38:57):
mine's half, he's half Caucasianand half Korean.
And now I remember talking and Iwas just like, So what part of
Korea is your mom from? And he was just like, actually,
bro, like my dad's Korean and mymom's white.
And I was like, damn, your dad must be handsome, bro.
Like, what the fuck? Really.
You know, I was like, was he a doctor?
Someone was like, yeah, he's a doctor.
I was like, oh, well, come on, bro.
Like, that's yeah. I was married to, to a white
(39:20):
woman. Yeah.
You know, we had a we have a beautiful daughter together.
And then. But I hate that I'm like this.
But there are times I look at Harlow and I'm just like, man,
you look impossibly Korean, You know?
I'm like, like a little tiny, tiny, tiny part of me inside.
It's just like, I'm winning. Yes, yes.
(39:41):
Yeah, that, that DNA is strong, The DNA.
The Mongolian Korean DNA is verystrong.
It's so obvious. Honestly that's that's all I can
think about too. I'm just like this baby better
look Asian this. Baby better look Korean
otherwise. I'm starting over, yeah.
Otherwise we're going to have toeat them and then just start
over again. I don't know.
(40:02):
It's. It's funny because we both know
so many, like half Asian, yeah. Yeah, love, love all our no.
Of course, because it's funny, because it goes back to the not
being Korean or not being Asian enough thing.
It's like new racism isn't like third derogatory slurs and beat
your ass. Like, new racism is like, you're
not white. Yeah.
(40:23):
You know, like you're exotic, you're not white or like you're
tokenized or you are hated on oryou won't get certain
opportunities because you're notwhite, you know?
And I find it to be really difficult to make moves.
So you have to be extra. You have to be, you know, like
your books have to be straight or like, you have to do
whatever. Like I, I wish it wasn't true,
(40:45):
but I have a lot of situations where that is true.
Yeah. Like lease signing, lease
agreements. Yeah.
Still. Still, yeah.
Still, yeah. And it's also passed on trauma
that we saw our parents go through.
So it's just like we try to overcompensate in many ways, at
least in my experience. But yeah, it's, I also hear a
lot of stories from our like half Asian friends of the
(41:08):
hardships of not really fitting into either or.
I do feel hopeful though, because I feel like it's getting
better in some ways. Like, absolutely.
There. Are more mixed kids than ever
before, which is really cool. Like that is cool.
That's. Just happening and with the
acceptance of a lot of more of our culture and our food and
being more glamorized in some ways, but I'm hoping that they
(41:31):
have a much different experiencethan us growing up here.
Yeah, it's just funny because I'll talk to certain white
business owners and they'll talkabout leases and stuff like that
and lease agreements. I'm like, whoa.
So you're telling me they're letting you have this building
for 15 years and then you can sign on for another 15 years?
Like they're OK with you having it for 30 years?
(41:51):
And like, yeah, I'm like, trust you.
I'm like, I've never fucking heard of that in my fucking
life. I'm like, dude, look, they'll
give me like a year lease and then a possibility of a chance
to maybe renew at a certain escalated number.
Or like if I do get a lease, they're just like, OK, cool.
And your bro Robert Smith is going to cosign, right?
(42:17):
You know, I'm like, fuck, it sucks and I hate having to do
this, but I'm just like, yo, actually I do own a house.
Yeah, I also owned another. Actually I owned 2 houses.
And you know, like I have some assets, my credit's shit.
But you know, like, maybe we cando this.
And it, it sucks to have to do that where it's like, it's
already just given to somebody that's white.
Like someone that's white, you're just like, Oh yeah,
totally, man. Like of course you own land, Of
(42:38):
course you have a car, of courseyou have a pool, of course you
have a wife and kids, you know, so.
So watch out for that. I want to start a fucking
advocacy group where we just go and eat the fucking rich and
just be like, damn, you're a billionaire.
Yeah, I was hearing some stories.
There was a speaker here during like the new Year, and they were
(42:58):
one of the oldest members of a generation who was born here in
Chinatown, basically. And they were explaining how
back in the day here, which wasn't that long ago, Asians
couldn't buy homes, They couldn't buy property.
So they would had like this one person who would advocate for
them, who is a lawyer that wouldbuy property on their behalf,
(43:21):
but under their name. And that was the way the
loophole that people were able to do these things they had.
To have a proxy by. Yes, yes, this.
I mean, people are smart, they figure stuff out.
But like, I heard this story andI was like, my God, how many
times have I heard something similar to this?
You know, gotta get like a whitecosigner God.
Damn it, so it's so it is a thing, but.
(43:43):
I mean. Yeah.
I want to say that I feel a shift.
It's kind of hard to say that right now.
It is. Hard to say that now we need to
cook a little bit longer. I don't know that's I don't and
I don't want to. I hope that's not exaggerated,
but I know what sucks is like when you said that, I was like,
fuck, I have heard that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's. Real.
That sucks. It's definitely.
(44:04):
Real. But yeah, my mindset, I don't
want to believe that 100% going forward, but I know it's true in
many ways, so. I don't know if you knew, like,
ever heard about this, but like,Toyota Financial, the US
division, they were giving like interest rates that were like,
way higher to Mexicans, blacks and Asians.
Yeah. And they went to like this class
(44:24):
action lawsuit and they won. And I miss miraculously had like
a $500 check Toyota financial one day and I was like what?
I was like jeez dude. Like this is awful.
I mean. It is a tale as old as time, a
neighborhood like this, bringingin a bunch of folks of colour to
set it up, sell it and then the other people move in.
(44:46):
So you know, it's, it's unfortunate.
It's just good to be aware of. Yeah.
But don't you think though, Joyce, that like the way to
solve that, like one of the mainways to solve it is to find
someone that owns a lot of land,hold them hostage and just be
like, we're going to eat this guy live on Instagram.
(45:08):
You know, I want you guys to tune in and this is just let
this be an example that you guysare fucking up and, you know,
fly straight. Otherwise, we're going to come
and validate your suspicions of eating human meat and get you.
Is there a loyalty in this world?
You know what? You know what that this is, this
is my new way of going. That this might be my new way of
going. OK, I think this is it for me.
(45:30):
That's the Siri I'm gonna eat soeverybody else can fly at the
buffet. So we.
Can validate everyone's suspicions that we eat
everything yeah, just. Validate everybody's and we all.
Look the same yo dude. Koreans not only look the same,
they also like they're kind of fucked up.
I want to be the one that peopleare like, yo, you hear about
that one Korean. Like everybody in our community
(45:51):
would be like, Yohan's a hero. And then everybody on the white
communities are just like clutching purses.
Shit, I think, I think that's how we close out this episode
then, yeah. Man, yeah, I'm gonna go out like
a we'll. Leave it at that and go out
like. A fucking G someone.
What billionaire's coming with me?
Well. Thanks for making the time
again, yeah. Thank you for making the sound
choice. And hopefully we'll get some
(46:14):
editing done and it'll be live. Actually this, this should be
the send off choice. OK, you ready?
Ready. OK.
Hey, thanks for listening to us rant.
And yeah, we'll see you next time.
Thanks, Joyce. Thanks Hun.
Hi, Joyce. Hey Hon.
Hi, this is episode 3. Yep.
Are podcasts about being Asian and a small business in
Portland, OR? Lots of gems being dropped here.
Love it. Truth.
So how are you, Joyce? Doing pretty good.
Took a pretty nice nap at work today.
(00:21):
Hell yeah. Feeling pretty fired up,
motivated, productive. Nothing really to complain
about. How about you?
I have a lot of changes and shifts going on.
Right now. I'm moving the food cart from
downtown Portland to Southeast Portland, and I've done this
enough where I can. It's always the timing that
fucks it up. It's always like, oh, we have to
(00:43):
be open in two days because I have no money.
Where this time I was like I paste everything out in a good
manner. So.
Like, OK, we closed on Wednesday.
Today, just grab all the stuff that can fall off the shelf
tomorrow. Strap everything back together,
then the day after, then the dayafter, and then then it's go
time, then it it's like launch. It's like launch time.
Beautiful. Yeah.
So it's good. Yeah, I was wondering how you
(01:05):
were handling it with so much grace.
I don't go out. Yeah, I don't, I don't have, I
don't know. I think I feel so like
experienced. Yeah, you're seasoned.
I feel really really weathered and traumatized by the all the
other times I've done it. Yeah.
So you're kind of like you're, you're at peace, you're in Zen
(01:26):
mode through the chaos. Yeah, I think I've mentioned
this before is just because business wise I've seen what the
bottom looks like and instead ofOh well, this has happened to me
and this has happened to me and This is why I'm like this.
But I look at it as a experienceof just reframing it this like,
Oh well, I don't want to do thatagain.
Let's just keep going, just keepmoving and just, I think the
(01:50):
longer that you're especially inPortland, the longer that you're
in business, the closer you get to just being a solutions based,
I guess project manager. Good.
That's good to hear. Yeah, especially in Portland
being as liberal as it is and what have you, not that have any
judgements on that. It's just very easy to fall into
(02:12):
the whole let's just complain about it until we're exhausted
by the subject matter. Oh, that's what you meant, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, you know, or and it nothing gets done or fix it or
fix it, Yeah. Yeah, I'm right there with you.
Don't complain unless you're going to do something about it.
Yeah, yeah, the topic, the topic, he.
(02:34):
Said you wanted to dive in a little bit more personal today.
Yeah. So what we were talking about
this last week about dating and relationships and in relations
of being a small business is very, very, very, very, very,
very hard. I don't get it.
(02:55):
I don't think I've ever masteredit.
And like I think it was, it was way easier being married and
being a business owner than being single and a.
Business owner for sure. I mean, we hardly have time for
our friends sometimes. Yeah, yeah.
I think that's the thing that isthe hardest part is like
actually finding time. And then because time is so
(03:16):
precious to me and like I value the time to a point where I'm
like, well, I'm here, I'm hanging out and I'm present.
And that should be a lot, but then it's just not enough, you
know? I don't know.
I think it's just not enough as far as like, is it worth my
time? Oh, oh, you're saying your, your
standards for what your time is worth have gotten a little bit
(03:37):
stricter. Yeah, yeah, that's fair.
That happens with, I think just age 2 and everything.
Maturity, I don't know maturity.But yeah, that's, that's how I
feel too. I mean, like, especially like,
coming into contact with a lot of different people through my
work day and being excited aboutnew relationships and
friendships that could potentially blossom.
(03:58):
I'm also kind of limited there, too because in my mind, I'm
like, well, I already have a lotof people that I'm still trying
to get to know better. I can't add new people right
now. Like, I'm too distracted.
Like, I don't even have time formy, like, current friends or,
you know, that's how I feel at least.
And that's kind of a challenge I'm still working through.
But yeah, I can only imagine when it comes to the dating
(04:20):
scene. Yeah.
So I don't actively seek that out.
It's hard because I have you like and I think you do this as
well. I suspect is that you
compartmentalize a lot of the relationships, your friendships,
and how much time you can allot to certain things, especially
now like you're in your third trimester.
(04:41):
Yes. So you have to like, sleep, you
know, like nap is important, youknow, and it gets really
chaotic. There's another layer of excuses
now. I can't go out right now.
Yeah, yeah. I'm so excited.
Every parent has a different set, Yeah, you know, But it
always just comes out. I'm like, what?
No, I'm not doing that shit. Priorities.
Like, no, I'm hanging out with my kid and then it's just sort
(05:04):
of taking her everywhere. I mean, yeah, that's, that's the
cool part, when they're ready todo that.
Because I'm already like that. I'm like, I'd rather hang out
with my man, like honestly. Yeah, well, Terrance is amazing.
Do you find you have like limitswhen you have to do like social
events and stuff 'cause like goodies will pop up at different
markets and stuff like. That like.
(05:25):
Do you ever just 'cause this happens to me?
Like I just get like people fatigue.
It's hard. It's, it's really hard because
I, I hate to sound like such a grandma, but in theory I'm very
social, but in reality I have limited energy, especially
socializing kind of energy. And even though I'm kind of in
between, like I, I can be prettyextroverted, I guess in certain
(05:48):
settings, but I'm truly an introvert at heart.
So my recharging is done, not around people most of the time.
I mean, there's definitely people, groups of people that
like enrich my soul and I feel refreshed afterwards.
But generally I like to rest. I am also like being a small
business owner, being very frontfacing too.
It's just like, yeah, everything's social, It's all
(06:09):
built in. And yeah, when we're being
really active with work popping up at markets, doing events, I
kind of save my energy for thosethings because I know we're
going to have to do them either way.
And it's just like, we're on, right?
And yeah, as much as I like to think that afterwards, after
we're finished with the market, I can go and hang out with some
(06:30):
friends, I'm just usually so beat, so beat, and it takes me a
few days to recover. But yeah, I don't know.
I think with events and stuff like that, like I, I'm very
similar to you where my social battery will get drained and
then I will, what is it called? I will literally like
disassociate and then it's just a script I'm running off of,
(06:51):
especially when I'm seeing a lotof people.
But I've found I've found I'm either at certain, at different
points in my career, I've found I'm either getting closer to the
Instagram personality version ofmyself or getting further away
from the Instagram version of myself.
And so that actually has, that'sactually been a very funny thing
(07:16):
to watch because like back to trying to date and stuff like
that again. I'm like really into it.
You know, I've, I've been divorced for three years, but
it's been like it hasn't been high on my priority list, but I
definitely go out and I'll meet people and they will.
I've literally gotten this like verbatim of people that's like,
(07:36):
you are not like that person on Instagram.
And I'm like, oh, like I'm like,yeah, I think like you're really
a nice person. Yeah, yeah.
And I'm like, oh, does that. I've not hit when I'm ranting or
being like crazy or unhinged. And then on the other end of it,
(07:59):
I think this happens a lot with like restaurants and food based
and chef driven, owner driven places.
Is that the name and the chef's name kind of split.
You started getting invited as the chef of XYZ instead of it
just being like XYZ is pulling up.
(08:19):
And that's really, it's really fascinating when that happens
and it's, there's a duality thathappens.
And I'm, I'm wondering, I'm curious to see, I feel like it's
kind of happened with you. I think I've seen like Joyce
from Goody Snack Shop speaking at this instead of us being like
the owner of Goody Snack Shop speaking at this, you know?
Yeah, I guess so. Definitely not as much as you I
(08:40):
would say, but I'm still trying to get comfortable with when
people introduce me as Joyce of Goodies or whatever 'cause I I
still see myself as just Joyce. Yeah.
Joyce of many things really I just feel like goodies is just
another layer of things that we do but.
Yeah, but yeah. Do you feel like you're leaning
(09:01):
into your alter ego? No, no, you're.
Not you feel alienated by that alittle.
Bit I use it as a filter. Joyce Yeah.
No, I'm I'm sure because it's it's weird.
Social media is weird, too, because people tend to create
these, like, parasocial relationships with people.
Yeah. And it's really easy to fall
(09:21):
into, for sure. Yeah.
It's funny because when I do collabs at different restaurants
and there's like a lot of lion cooks, like lion cooks are like
some of my favorite people and Ilove just there's some lion
cooks on me and they're just like, wow, huge fan.
I'm like, oh, OK, so don't call me chef.
Like let's just hang out, bro. Let's just have a good time.
And then there's other people that I know that will gravitate
(09:44):
towards me and it'll just be very chill.
Maybe like later on it'll just be like, Oh yeah, like I was
really stoked to meet you because, you know, you're Kim
Jong grilling or whatever. But it it's always awkward for
me. Yeah, it's always.
Awkward because I think my personality type just always
leans the other direction because I've met so many chefs
that are like, I'm the chef of ex, you know?
(10:07):
Right, I'm just. Like you're still a bitch so.
No, I agree and I think maybe that's why I feel uncomfortable
and pull away from those kinds of things.
It's I'm hyper conscious of it. Do you think?
That's the Korean in US that makes that happen.
Maybe, I don't know, I've seen Koreans who totally own it too,
but I don't. Maybe it's a yeah immigrant kid
(10:29):
mentality, I'm not sure but. Interesting yo, I feel like.
People with a lot of privilege just, yeah, I'll own it, you
know? But I don't know.
I've always had a hard time withit, Yeah.
I feel like for me, I think there is something to be said
about the immigrant thing because a lot of, like, the
Asians and Koreans, the generations before us, you know,
like, especially ones from like,the 70s, like my mom's age,
(10:51):
like, they don't even want to beseen.
Yeah. Exactly you.
Know so like and they always they never want to make noise
that's. A part of me is literally that
person too. God, we're so.
Yeah. It's kind of annoying.
It is annoying because I can't turn it on and off.
Yeah, like, certain parts of my personality can definitely turn
on and off. I feel like.
Yeah, you know, like, be serious, you know, like, yeah.
(11:15):
But that social queue is really difficult.
And I think, like when I first moved here, that part, I really
didn't talk much about being Asian and being Korean.
Yeah. Versus now where it's like, it's
actually pretty like chic. I said this before that Asians
are trending. Yeah, it's.
Shiny. It's.
Really shiny now. And it's funny because I, like I
said, like in Portland, it's just so different.
(11:37):
Like it's it, it, it is really different.
I don't feel this in LA or I don't feel this in other places
that I walk around in. Oh.
Yeah, for sure. Coming from Lai feel like I
didn't realize this until I was here and started interacting
with people who grew up here, especially other Asian
Americans. But I realized that, yeah, I
kind of grew up in a way, I guess privileged and not knowing
(11:58):
in the sense that I had so much access to other people like me.
Oh. Yeah, it was like.
Easier to be Asian in some ways.I took a lot of things for
granted. So coming here, I felt like that
lack of the access to my culturethat felt so easy to access
before, right? Which, yeah, it's, it's weird.
(12:20):
It's kind of like it drew more of that Koreaness out of me
because I was like, I, I need it.
It's part of my identity. And I felt so unseen here in
some ways up until I started finding my people, of course.
But yeah, there's it's very different.
I think you were in a conversation with me.
I think we're at Noel's house, by the way.
(12:41):
Really, Miss Noel. I.
Really, Miss Noel. But it was that conversation we
had. I was like, is it that there's
more Asians moving to Portland, OR?
Oh yeah, that's right. Or is it that we just found our
people? And then I started, I like, some
days I'm just like, damn, I'm glad I have the five Asian
(13:01):
friends that I have. And then other days, I'm like,
holy shit, there's so many otherAsian kids out there that are
just, like, wondering, like wandering, you know, Because I
feel like when I moved here, like, I moved here like 20 years
ago, it was bleak, man. Yeah.
I'm sure I was. Like damn dude there's only two
places to get FA like this is crazy no places to get Korean
(13:22):
food or it was just really gate kept.
Yeah, that's insane. I mean, I felt like it was bleak
when I first moved here. But maybe, though, it had to do
with the pandemic, too. It was like 2012.
Oh yeah. You came in the pandemic.
But yeah, I don't know to that question.
Like are there more now? I'm sure it's both.
I'm sure there's more people moving here.
I'm sure there's more visibility.
(13:44):
I feel like a lot of us are now comfortable throwing up that bad
signal, whether it's through ourbusinesses or social media or
whatever. But I think we're getting better
at finding each other. And we're we're smart, yeah.
I think like a lot of the a lot of the events that I've been
doing, I feel more represented, yeah.
(14:05):
Yeah, you know. And it's cool.
I don't know where it's going. I feel like it's getting good,
but I, it is like one of the first times when I actually
really feel super comfortable inmy skin and feel really
comfortable and really seen. I just, it's just crazy to me
because Portland is so like it does like it almost doesn't
(14:26):
matter like how many of us are here.
It's like we still don't own a lot of the things.
It still feels like a new city in that aspect for to be Asian
American. A lot of us don't have the
leases on certain locations and buildings and stuff, whereas
historically they're all owned by like the same like 4 people
or something. Definitely.
And I think maybe that problem of that has created this little
(14:51):
cushion that maybe I didn't really notice where I grew up.
I see it more now too in other cities, but here I think maybe
it created that little cushion of like, hey, well we want to
celebrate culture. So I I am noticing more things
like, yeah, more specific gatherings.
Yeah, celebrating Asian Americanowned businesses, for example,
(15:13):
which at first I wasn't sure howI felt about.
Really. Yeah.
Because I was like, what? Who's running these things?
Is it? Is it run by our people?
Yeah. Yeah, but.
After, Yeah. I actually now really appreciate
it. It feels good.
It's nice, yeah. Yeah, I I agree.
I wonder there's obviously that trope, right?
There's like about different K towns in America, like New York
(15:38):
Koreans is LA Koreans, there's DC Koreans, there's Atlanta
Koreans, Chicago Koreans. And we all have our own
signature on our trauma. If you think about it, I think
that's the best way to describe it.
Like all of us have that, you know, like it's funny because
now I guess the partialism or like, I don't know if that's the
thing, but like not our inside racism, but it.
(16:01):
Judgments. The.
Judgments now like cause before when I was in Portland, I'd be
like, Oh my God, you're Korean I'm Korean too.
Yeah, but we're. Not the same.
He's like. But now it's just like, oh,
yeah, what's up? Yeah.
I'm like, oh, where you from? Like LA, I'm like, MMM.
Oh. You're getting pickier with
your, you know. Or like, it's not that you get
pickier, but you're just like, oh shit, what kind of agent are
you? Yeah, Now it's like there's
layers. It's like you're trying.
(16:21):
To categorize, yeah. Like oh, like again, I'm a very
compartmentalizing type of person.
So now I'm like, oh, sick. Like Korean.
What kind of Korean are you, like LA, Like oh, do you see?
They're like, oh, OK, you know, like that, like clutching their
purse more or they're like putting their hands in their
pockets, like oh, cool or. Actually LA or OC?
Yeah, like. OCLA though, like so, but I
(16:42):
think it's, but what is I, I want, I'm curious to see if one
day your kid or like Harlow goessomewhere and they're like, Oh
yeah, I'm Portland Korean. Like, oh shit, tattoos and weird
shit. You know what I mean?
Like, you know, because, OK, so growing up in DC, like, my mom
would be like, yeah, man, you, you really can't trust LA
(17:03):
Koreans. I'm like, what if they're
talking about us? Like, you're thinking like, this
is crazy. We're all still Koreans.
And I was like, I don't even know what the fuck you're
talking about. And then some of my brothers,
like my homies in Lai, when I met them, I still had that
stigma in my brain. And I was like, damn, look at
(17:25):
them like the big watches, like they're hell.
They the look is there. And then I'm like, oh, it's just
a brand thing. We're the same Korean.
Like you got hit just as much, if not more than I did, you
know? And yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if maybe maybe that'll go away when we get
older or something. Yeah.
Maybe, I don't know, identity isjust so complicated, but also
(17:48):
the way we look at each other, it's funny.
Do you feel like because you're in LA Korean?
Like do you did you ever, did you ever feel like any like
shade or hate from other Koreans?
OK, So when I'm here, like beingin Oregon, now in in Portland,
sure, I'm an LA Korean, whateverthat means.
(18:08):
But to me, when I was in Lai never felt like an LA Korean.
I actually felt really like an outsider in many ways.
I think I kind of have to like rewind and go back to like my
younger, like younger self. But I mean like I was originally
born in Atlanta, GA and then moved to yeah, I moved to Texas
for a short period of time, thenI moved all over LA.
(18:30):
So lived in the OC for a little bit, lived in K town, lived in
Highland Park, lived in South Pasadena all over.
So my identity was kind of strange.
And I also was like practically raised by Mexicans.
So at a certain point I thought I was Mexican.
And then at another point, like in my, I don't know, middles or
(18:53):
I, I don't even know when that happened, but I, I think all of
us maybe kind of go through this, but definitely rejected
all of my Korean Ness. Oh.
Absolutely. Thought I was a white girl.
And so when I kind of reconnected with some of the K
town folks that I had like kind of grown up with in elementary
school, I think this was around like high school age.
(19:15):
And this happened because my momforced me to go to like a Korean
church camp. Oh yeah, yeah.
So I. Reconnected with a bunch of
Korean kids who like Korean. Churches, yeah.
I know, super dark times. That's another topic to talk.
About It's a whole other episode, yeah.
Then I, like, was thrown into this world of, like, K town
Koreans. We'd go out to K town and drink
underage and, like, party. And I remember, like, loving it
(19:38):
but also feeling like, wow, I'm the white girl here.
Like, I feel so, like, out of place.
And they knew it too. They thought it was funny.
So yeah, I guess like, I never felt like an LA Korean, but
yeah, sure, being here, I am from LA, so yeah.
I think every Asian American goes to that.
(19:58):
I think we all just it it I, I think that is the norm
definitely. Because you can't, you can't be
loud and proud like growing up. Yeah, there's.
A dominant culture here there's.A dominant culture, This is
like, it is very oppressing. Yeah, it's a.
Survival thing, yeah. And it's, it's just funny that I
was just talking about this today, how like there's like a
certain diligent like mentality you have to have to like keep it
(20:21):
up. There are times in my life, from
this life, I hated it, you know,or I had to make the first Asian
joke or I had to validate or I had to like, set things
straight. And now, like, I wonder how much
of that went into my business because, I mean, the fucking
food trucks called Kim Jong Grillin, you know, and it like
the birth of that name was this,OK, So if everybody's fucking
(20:42):
white, everybody thinks Koreans instantly they're like, oh, are
you from North Korea? I'm like, yeah, you know, like,
absolutely. Whatever the fuck you want to
give me $15.00 for a rice plate,whatever you, whatever you want
to spend. But I don't think I could have
gotten to where I'm at without having a little bit of that
(21:03):
Korean self self deprecation. I think the, the wild card and
everything is that people are just like, holy fuck, the food's
good. You know, like there has to be a
better way to manage that. Because I really do believe
this, especially in Portland is like, if your business is too
Korean, you know, then you're not, you won't get linked into
(21:24):
the whole social media stuff. You won't be as seen, you know,
And I hate that I had to say that out loud, but it's true.
That's. True, you can't go mass.
Yeah. And, and it's it's hard to see
that like, I think Carlo from Magna would get this a lot.
(21:44):
Like he would get shade on both ends.
He'd be like, white folks, just like, that's odd, you know,
coming to his food. And then he'd have a bunch of
Filipino customers just be like,it's not Filipino enough.
Yeah. And like, and honestly, I get
it. I would get it sometimes.
And then the more accolades you get and the longer you're
(22:05):
around, those things go away. But it's still shocking to me
that there's other Koreans out there that look at me and
there's like, you're not really that Korean.
Yeah. But OK, So this is another thing
though. Sure.
Yeah, We're not Koreans from Korea.
Yeah, but we're. Still Korean?
(22:26):
Yeah, just as much as we're American.
Absolutely, absolutely. And I truly believe this is that
like Korean Americans are just the new Korean I, I'm sorry.
Like I like, I, like I had this argument with people, but not
with people, but with some Koreans.
They're just like, Oh yeah, likeKorean Americans lose their way.
(22:47):
They're too liberal this and that.
They're not disciplined. I'm just like, fuck you.
Who's buying all the Samsung TV's?
Who is who made BTS popular? Like we did, like we did.
Why are, why are all your entertainment like corporates in
LA? And again, I think that's such
an old school way of thinking. I think it kind of goes back to
(23:08):
just like just like to set judgement from like the older
generation you. Know well we don't want to be
stunted in the old ways. We've figured some shit out,
yeah, and we're moving forward. Yeah, it's just hard to do that
without therapy, Yeah. Definitely.
That's another evolution. Koreans in Korea.
(23:30):
I'm sorry this is maybe an over generalization.
No, they don't believe in therapy.
They don't believe in mental illness, I.
Heard that. Like going and seeing a
therapist is like a bougie thingout there, yeah.
That's like. Only Koreans would do that.
Like, oh, you voice your mental,like your mental problems to
(23:51):
somebody must. You must be making some money.
You know I can. See that?
Definitely. Did you see that?
Yeah. That's so funny.
And. On the opposite end, I could see
just like some just like hard, like just just the hardest, like
Oppa's just being just like what?
Just go fight somebody, you know, like what you don't just
drinking it out, you know, like just have a.
(24:11):
Few bottles. No, yeah, I, I love my parents,
but my dad's definitely way moreflexible now.
But when I was younger and I, I remember I had my first mental
breakdown and I, I went to him and I was like, dad, I think I
need therapy. Like I think I'm depressed.
And he says, no, no, no, you're healthy.
That's what he said. And he understands these things
(24:33):
a lot better now. But like, I think people take
that really personally. Like, no one in my family has
mental illness. Everyone's healthy.
They're OK. There's nothing wrong with them,
I think. The the same level of insults is
this you can't feed your kids orcan't pay your bills you.
Know what I mean? Which is like, fucking awful.
Like that's just hard, yeah. It's so shame driven but yes,
therapy is great. Yeah, absolutely.
(24:55):
I have 100% agree. The best way I can put this is
that, like, my relationship withmy mom is like, really evolved.
It's great. I don't know too many people
that could say that. Yeah.
That's good and. Sure, I have to get my divorce.
My mom moves here and she's justwatching my day-to-day, you
know, because she lives with me and I remember one time she was
(25:16):
just looking at me. She's like, fuck, you work a
lot. I'm like, oh, thank you.
I I think that was kind of a compliment and I was like, oh
hey, I have to I don't have to see my therapist.
And she's like, Oh my God, thankGod.
That's so good that like you're,you know, like taking like, I
feel like you just live a fucking hard life.
And I'm like, wow, thanks mom still.
(25:38):
Seen Yeah, I'm. Like, are you having a moment,
you know, like, where is this, like a real thing, you know?
But I think when it comes to mental health, it has to be
extra for that validation from like, the older, like your
parents or something. Yeah.
Like, some fucked up shit had tohappen.
And then they're just like, yo, go, go 'cause see one of those
(25:59):
therapists, you know, like, like, you can't just drink a
Bacchus and be OK, no. For sure.
That's really good to hear because as cheesy as that can
sound like breaking generationaltrauma, I think a lot of people
in our generation are really actively working on that.
I mean, for the betterment of our kids.
Like even just starting with I have a bro, a little brother.
(26:22):
He and I have witnessed like allthe toxic shit that our
families, like our our families in Korea have gone through with
each other and all the estrangement and holding grudges
and just not being good family, which sucks, especially when you
have such a small amount of people you can call family.
(26:43):
And so seeing all this, like, itcould either turn us into cold,
hard people or we just started communicating with each other
and being like, we can't be doing this shit with each other.
We can't be doing this with our families.
And we're not going to carry this shit forward.
Let's communicate. So just trying to be better,
yeah. I think one of the things, and I
(27:04):
don't recommend this to everybody, growing up, my mom
like broke me emotionally as a child, like as a child, like
before 9, yeah. Right.
But then as a teenager I had to break her and it was
heartbreaking. Yes.
You know, like cuz I mean at onepoint she's like just don't
(27:26):
fucking get arrested. And I did.
And she's just like, fuck. That was the worst thing she's.
Like you are like the worst thing that's happened to me in
my life. I'm like, but I got your
citizenship. Like I'm the reason why you're a
citizen. So just fuck you.
But that generational gap because it's so big, right?
Because like the generational gap between my daughter and I is
(27:47):
very small. Like we listen to same music.
There's a lot of things that like, we both like whether it's
we're influenced by each other or not, but my mom's generation
and your mom's your parents generation and, and you are,
it's just huge because we're also in America too.
Yes, I. I feel like nobody really
understands how difficult it is to, like, have to try to get
(28:10):
help from your family that doesn't understand what you're
doing because of the miscommunication of like what it
is like when I told my mom I wasdoing this, she's just like
Korean BBQ. Yeah, you're so bugaboo.
Yeah. Out of a truck.
Yes, You're gonna make rice in atruck.
That sounds. Like a hard life, yeah.
That sounds stupid, you know, And then you have to prove the
concepts over and over again, like repetitiously, and then
(28:32):
finally get the respect. But yeah.
I mean, we are practically speaking a different language.
Like, yeah, I've definitely found that over time we've
learned how to communicate with each other and I'm grateful for
that. Like at at this age now, I mean,
I've always had a pretty good open communication pathway with
my dad. Like, he really got me.
(28:53):
But my mom always, we always hada hard time.
She used to say, I have never met anyone like you and I gave
birth to you. Damn, really?
So I can only imagine how shocking that was to have a
child that you have all these like preconceived ideas of what
I'm going to be like. And probably she imagined like a
good little Korean girl or something like that.
(29:15):
But I was born in America and I was outspoken and independent
and talked back and yeah, it wasa piece of shit growing up at a
certain point in. Like yes.
In my teenage years, I was, but hey, I've matured a lot and I
wish you could see that now, butshe, she did get to see some of
(29:36):
the really good growth parts of my life too.
But yeah, we all go through it. It's just, it's interesting.
But getting to know our parents helps us understand how far also
we are from that. Yeah.
I think a lot of like relationships between immigrant
kids and their parents is because I, I, I do this too, is
(30:00):
like I, I think they see this ultimate privilege of birthing
you here. Yeah, You know, whereas all
Koreans are competitive. I was just like weird things.
They they're oddly competitive, you know?
You know. What I mean, it's a weird
survival thing, you know, I can bet.
On Koreans, yeah. Yeah, seriously.
Right. But The thing is, they look at
our position just like you're sofucking fortunate.
(30:21):
If I had, if I was in your shoes, I'd be president of this
country like 4 years ago, you know, not understanding that
pressure from them was soul crushing.
I love like having like different comebacks to my mom
because she'll like that's always complaints, man.
Like even if they're giving you a compliment, it sounds like
they're either yelling it. I love being of having a very
serious sound, like about to saysomething important to my mom
(30:42):
and I'll just be like, I really wish I didn't inherit all this
laziness from you. Like now I'm living with you.
Like you just watch TV like thisis crazy.
Like can you take the dog for a walk?
Like and then and I'm like, it doesn't feel good, does it?
You know, She's like, fuck you. I know those.
If I was younger, I'd kick your ass.
You know those. Backhanded compliments are so
(31:03):
yeah, triggering, but they. Work.
They work the other way though. Joyce.
Yeah, it's. Psychological.
Yeah. They work the other way and
it's, it's pretty funny. It's, it's pretty good, 'cause
I, I see it in my mom too. I'm just like, oh, see how
fucked up that is? Doesn't taste good, huh?
She. Gets it?
Yeah. She gets it, you know?
Yeah. Do you have a lot of events
coming up? Yes.
(31:25):
Actually, it just starts gettingpretty busy and crazy.
Next week starting to pick up. Yeah, we've got a couple in
store events this weekend. Next weekend we start popping up
out of store again, which we have been doing.
But yeah, it's that season. It's here.
Yeah. Do you feel like you've
progressively is it busier than the the year before with the
(31:48):
with your events and stuff? Yeah.
I mean, now we know like historically which events are
good for us. So we continuously do those and
those are already on our calendar.
And then there's a lot of incoming requests.
So yeah, we definitely are more active.
Yeah, man, like, events are starting to pile up for me in a
(32:10):
good way. And in like, sometimes,
unfortunately, like, sometimes like, the dates just don't line
up or what have you. And I think earlier in my career
it was just like, dude, just sayyes to everything, just get
known. But now I'm in this luxurious
position where I can pick and choose or create an event.
And I think a lot of times if I could go back and tell my
(32:31):
younger self, I'd just be like, hey, the sleep is worth it.
Yeah. You know, like don't this event
sounds good on paper, but it's not going to produce this.
And I finally figured out one ofthe hardest things is are you
bringing people? Are you bringing so much of the
people or are you going there and getting new people, right,
right for business. And the one thing I've realized
(32:52):
is like, there's certain events out there that like you have to
look at like it's a favor, it's an exchange, right?
So you're going to get more of my customers coming to you and
what have you. But then there's also those
events where you're like, you are the draw, right?
And you have to, you really haveto be diligent and understand
that definitely. Like I think sooner brands
(33:13):
understand that the better, the better suited you will be for
like the next level of things. Yeah, it's.
All about positioning and understanding what you bring to
the table. Yeah, but yeah, also quality
over quantity. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think now that's more important than ever.
I think in the beginning for me,I was just like, I'm just going
to be fucking everywhere. I'm going to be like that one
(33:34):
rapper on everybody's mixtape, you know?
And I think I think of one year,like I did, like I did a crazy
amount of events and people werejust like, dude, who the fuck
are you? Yeah, yeah.
Like you were at departure one day and now you're just slumming
it down here. I.
Hear that. Honestly, I think our first year
too, we settled yes to a lot because we needed to get a feel
for it. And also nobody, nobody knew who
(33:56):
we were. Nobody comes to Old Town.
So we were like, it's important for us to get out there and let
people know where we're at. And yeah, we're going into our
third year, so definitely have gotten a little bit more concise
about those things too. Because yeah, we're just the two
of us still, which is. Awesome, yeah.
Yeah, I feel like we've accomplished a lot in in those
(34:17):
couple years just between us 2. But this year we are definitely
growing our capacity. We're building a team.
Hopefully by the end of this year, we'll have like 3 or 4
teammates that'll, you know, be here in the field like just
really involved with. Yeah.
Oh. Joyce, I bet you'd be a really
good general. I bet you would.
I bet you'd just be like, no, put these forces here.
(34:38):
These guys that are ready to die.
We'll put them over here, you know, we'll hang back.
Calculated Risk calculated. Risks, you know, like that's, I
mean that's all like we do as like small business owners, you
know, that's. True, it really is.
It's it's that it's working withthe resources that we have,
which sometimes are very limited.
(34:58):
Just got to be smart and make your best bets and yeah, solve a
lot of fucking problems. Yeah, I think that's the fun
part to me. And I think it's really hard to
like going back to what we were talking about, like with with
making connections and even dating and stuff like that.
I've definitely, I've definitelybeen in situations where like
(35:20):
what's on your mind? I'm like, well, and I'll explain
it. They're like, oh, OK, you
hungry? I'm like, oh, oh, I'm so sorry.
That was weird. I didn't mean to like, mansplain
my whole fucking business plan to you, you know, But I think,
yeah, it's, it's weird. It's weird when it's such a big
(35:41):
part of your life and a big partof your identity, yeah.
And like, speak like it's funny,'cause like you laugh at me that
I've never dated an Asian person.
You're still giggling about it now?
No, I. Just I I think it's funny, but
I'll I'll explain why anyway. Why?
It's funny because you actually said something that I said many
(36:01):
years ago, too. You said I'm off brand for a lot
of Asians. Like Oh my God, yeah.
I don't think Asians would like me.
That's literally what I said. When I was younger before I
dated any Asians, I was like, no, I've actually still never
dated a Korean person and I don't think I'm going to get a
chance. But but I always used to say
Korean guys don't like me. I'm like too, way too off brand
(36:23):
for them. That's how I felt.
But after that I did date a couple Asian guys and was in
long term relationship with themand I think I corrected myself
on that. But anyway, I think it's funny,
but. There's a lot to be said about
that. I genuinely don't think I am.
I think. I think.
You'd be surprised, I don't. Know man, like I it's funny
(36:46):
because I've come to realize like some of the like my life
decisions just like Oh yeah, that's definitely not going to
attract an Asian person no. But in your past.
I don't, I don't think I presentvery well sometimes, Hey.
You're you're limiting yourself.I know.
I know, OK, perhaps I am, but I think a lot of times you're just
(37:08):
like, yeah, I, I don't know, man.
I just don't see it. I just don't.
I I'm sorry. It's so hard for me to see it
because like especially when I'mapproached, even when I like
with like approach with like other Asians and stuff like
that, like it's always this likethis weird, like Kim Jong Un an
identity or like they're like, oh shit, dude, that dude's like
OG or something or like I guess.That's true.
(37:29):
I mean, yeah, especially with that, with people's projections
of what they expect of you. You got to meet someone who
doesn't know about Kim Chunk. Yeah.
Well, OK, yeah, that's fair too.But the other right.
But then that's when that stereotype in my brain kicks in.
It's just like, you're like, oh,I'm like, hey, how's it going?
(37:49):
Like, Oh yeah, I'm Korean. And they're just like, damn.
Really well. Listen, OK, so hand.
Tattoos bro like. There's all sorts of Asians,
first of all, you know, true, true.
True, true. There's.
Your type of Asian somewhere andmaybe oh.
Yeah, maybe it'll. Be something really unexpected.
But yeah, yeah. Never met a guy like you either,
so yeah. OK, but they.
(38:10):
Exist. This is proof they exist, you
know, So I mean, it's just funnypeople.
Exist somewhere out there, I mean.
OK, like. That's true, though I I feel
that the. Stereotype that I really
believed before I knew enough when I was growing up and saying
no Korean guys wouldn't like me.The only Koreans I knew were
like the gangster K town guys and then the nerdy ass.
(38:33):
Like stay at home and video gamelike guys you know.
Oh, and then the church boys. So it was just like, none of
those. Yeah, none.
Of those are in your within thatthe wheelhouse yeah and.
I'm not anyone's flavour for that either, so anyway, OK.
That's fair. You'll.
Surprise yourself too, but just open your mind, yeah?
I mean, even now, like I'm so accustomed to like a friend of
(38:57):
mine's half, he's half Caucasianand half Korean.
And now I remember talking and Iwas just like, So what part of
Korea is your mom from? And he was just like, actually,
bro, like my dad's Korean and mymom's white.
And I was like, damn, your dad must be handsome, bro.
Like, what the fuck? Really.
You know, I was like, was he a doctor?
Someone was like, yeah, he's a doctor.
I was like, oh, well, come on, bro.
Like, that's yeah. I was married to, to a white
(39:20):
woman. Yeah.
You know, we had a we have a beautiful daughter together.
And then. But I hate that I'm like this.
But there are times I look at Harlow and I'm just like, man,
you look impossibly Korean, You know?
I'm like, like a little tiny, tiny, tiny part of me inside.
It's just like, I'm winning. Yes, yes.
(39:41):
Yeah, that, that DNA is strong, The DNA.
The Mongolian Korean DNA is verystrong.
It's so obvious. Honestly that's that's all I can
think about too. I'm just like this baby better
look Asian this. Baby better look Korean
otherwise. I'm starting over, yeah.
Otherwise we're going to have toeat them and then just start
over again. I don't know.
(40:02):
It's. It's funny because we both know
so many, like half Asian, yeah. Yeah, love, love all our no.
Of course, because it's funny, because it goes back to the not
being Korean or not being Asian enough thing.
It's like new racism isn't like third derogatory slurs and beat
your ass. Like, new racism is like, you're
not white. Yeah.
(40:23):
You know, like you're exotic, you're not white or like you're
tokenized or you are hated on oryou won't get certain
opportunities because you're notwhite, you know?
And I find it to be really difficult to make moves.
So you have to be extra. You have to be, you know, like
your books have to be straight or like, you have to do
whatever. Like I, I wish it wasn't true,
(40:45):
but I have a lot of situations where that is true.
Yeah. Like lease signing, lease
agreements. Yeah.
Still. Still, yeah.
Still, yeah. And it's also passed on trauma
that we saw our parents go through.
So it's just like we try to overcompensate in many ways, at
least in my experience. But yeah, it's, I also hear a
lot of stories from our like half Asian friends of the
(41:08):
hardships of not really fitting into either or.
I do feel hopeful though, because I feel like it's getting
better in some ways. Like, absolutely.
There. Are more mixed kids than ever
before, which is really cool. Like that is cool.
That's. Just happening and with the
acceptance of a lot of more of our culture and our food and
being more glamorized in some ways, but I'm hoping that they
(41:31):
have a much different experiencethan us growing up here.
Yeah, it's just funny because I'll talk to certain white
business owners and they'll talkabout leases and stuff like that
and lease agreements. I'm like, whoa.
So you're telling me they're letting you have this building
for 15 years and then you can sign on for another 15 years?
Like they're OK with you having it for 30 years?
(41:51):
And like, yeah, I'm like, trust you.
I'm like, I've never fucking heard of that in my fucking
life. I'm like, dude, look, they'll
give me like a year lease and then a possibility of a chance
to maybe renew at a certain escalated number.
Or like if I do get a lease, they're just like, OK, cool.
And your bro Robert Smith is going to cosign, right?
(42:17):
You know, I'm like, fuck, it sucks and I hate having to do
this, but I'm just like, yo, actually I do own a house.
Yeah, I also owned another. Actually I owned 2 houses.
And you know, like I have some assets, my credit's shit.
But you know, like, maybe we cando this.
And it, it sucks to have to do that where it's like, it's
already just given to somebody that's white.
Like someone that's white, you're just like, Oh yeah,
totally, man. Like of course you own land, Of
(42:38):
course you have a car, of courseyou have a pool, of course you
have a wife and kids, you know, so.
So watch out for that. I want to start a fucking
advocacy group where we just go and eat the fucking rich and
just be like, damn, you're a billionaire.
Yeah, I was hearing some stories.
There was a speaker here during like the new Year, and they were
(42:58):
one of the oldest members of a generation who was born here in
Chinatown, basically. And they were explaining how
back in the day here, which wasn't that long ago, Asians
couldn't buy homes, They couldn't buy property.
So they would had like this one person who would advocate for
them, who is a lawyer that wouldbuy property on their behalf,
(43:21):
but under their name. And that was the way the
loophole that people were able to do these things they had.
To have a proxy by. Yes, yes, this.
I mean, people are smart, they figure stuff out.
But like, I heard this story andI was like, my God, how many
times have I heard something similar to this?
You know, gotta get like a whitecosigner God.
Damn it, so it's so it is a thing, but.
(43:43):
I mean. Yeah.
I want to say that I feel a shift.
It's kind of hard to say that right now.
It is. Hard to say that now we need to
cook a little bit longer. I don't know that's I don't and
I don't want to. I hope that's not exaggerated,
but I know what sucks is like when you said that, I was like,
fuck, I have heard that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's. Real.
That sucks. It's definitely.
(44:04):
Real. But yeah, my mindset, I don't
want to believe that 100% going forward, but I know it's true in
many ways, so. I don't know if you knew, like,
ever heard about this, but like,Toyota Financial, the US
division, they were giving like interest rates that were like,
way higher to Mexicans, blacks and Asians.
Yeah. And they went to like this class
(44:24):
action lawsuit and they won. And I miss miraculously had like
a $500 check Toyota financial one day and I was like what?
I was like jeez dude. Like this is awful.
I mean. It is a tale as old as time, a
neighborhood like this, bringingin a bunch of folks of colour to
set it up, sell it and then the other people move in.
(44:46):
So you know, it's, it's unfortunate.
It's just good to be aware of. Yeah.
But don't you think though, Joyce, that like the way to
solve that, like one of the mainways to solve it is to find
someone that owns a lot of land,hold them hostage and just be
like, we're going to eat this guy live on Instagram.
(45:08):
You know, I want you guys to tune in and this is just let
this be an example that you guysare fucking up and, you know,
fly straight. Otherwise, we're going to come
and validate your suspicions of eating human meat and get you.
Is there a loyalty in this world?
You know what? You know what that this is, this
is my new way of going. That this might be my new way of
going. OK, I think this is it for me.
(45:30):
That's the Siri I'm gonna eat soeverybody else can fly at the
buffet. So we.
Can validate everyone's suspicions that we eat
everything yeah, just. Validate everybody's and we all.
Look the same yo dude. Koreans not only look the same,
they also like they're kind of fucked up.
I want to be the one that peopleare like, yo, you hear about
that one Korean. Like everybody in our community
(45:51):
would be like, Yohan's a hero. And then everybody on the white
communities are just like clutching purses.
Shit, I think, I think that's how we close out this episode
then, yeah. Man, yeah, I'm gonna go out like
a we'll. Leave it at that and go out
like. A fucking G someone.
What billionaire's coming with me?
Well. Thanks for making the time
again, yeah. Thank you for making the sound
choice. And hopefully we'll get some
(46:14):
editing done and it'll be live. Actually this, this should be
the send off choice. OK, you ready?
Ready. OK.
Hey, thanks for listening to us rant.
And yeah, we'll see you next time.
Thanks, Joyce. Thanks Hun.
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