Racists Don’t Deserve Tacos (and Other Small Business Truths)

Joyce and Han talk parenting a “vampire milk monster,” why DoorDash feels like the dark side, and the small business math that keeps owners up at night.

Plus: home, family, and why racists don’t deserve tacos.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey Hon, what's up? Hey, Joyce, how's it going?
Going good. Yeah.
What's new with you as of the last recording?
Just trying to keep it together through all the chaos of being a
new parent. Not sure if we could hear the
baby in the background now. But yeah, it's just a time of
transition. We're going into fall for real.
It's September. We're in our third year of

(00:21):
business. Just trying to get things really
set for the coming weeks. I don't know a lot.
Lots been going on in my personal life too, I guess.
But just a lot of transition, a lot of just shuffling around and
just trying to keep up with everything.
How about you? Let's see, still maintaining

(00:45):
trying to stay busy in the beginning of September cause all
the kids are back in school so people spend their money like
crazy differently. At least I like places to eat.
I mean, I'm not the only one that's slow.
I think everybody's slow right now.
No, we. Feel it too.
Yeah. And like, let's see that I think
not much to say about my personal life that I want to

(01:05):
share. Yeah, I feel, I feel you on
that. But I think I wanted to ask you
like now that Tycho's been here,he's like 3 weeks oldish month.
Oldish. He just hit seven weeks this
week. Seven weeks.
Oh yeah, definitely. I feel like we could see his
personality from day one, almost.

(01:26):
But yeah, he's he's a fighter. He likes to resist a lot of
things that it's funny. The other day I tried to like
kiss him while he was asleep andwith his eyes closed.
He dodged my kisses twice. But he he's super sweet, he's
charming, he's pretty funny, buthe's a good baby.
Really chill for the most part as as long as his like needs are

(01:47):
met. But yeah, starting to see his
personality come through. Yeah.
Do you see, do you see like someof like Terence's stuff, like
Terence's markers and stuff as far as like personality goes?
Yeah, I think both of our parents said that we were pretty
easy babies, so he's definitely been pretty easy.
But also he's kind of sweaty like both of his parents, so he

(02:08):
gets sweaty easily. That's.
Funny, but yeah, he the baby. He's pretty charming, like his
dad. Yeah.
Cute little eyes. Yeah.
Kind of scary looking at in in the night when we're feeding him
though, his eyes are so dark andhe's just.
Like it is so dark, right 'causelike the eyes will lighten up a
little. When when they get older, when
he gets the bottle, he gets so excited.

(02:28):
It's kind of scary. He's.
Like a little milk monster. But I mean that's that's pretty
natural for all babies though. Yeah, for sure.
It's it's cute, it's fun, it's crazy.
I mean, I think the adjustments that you have to make for having
a new life, you know, like having a newborn in your life
is, is wild 'cause it. I think that's why they say like

(02:49):
your first born is the one that you that teaches you how to
love, you know? Yeah.
I can see that for sure. Yeah.
We're learning so much through this process, for sure.
Yeah, he's teaching us a lot. I mean, I don't know.
I I always wonder like Harlow. Well, every once in awhile ask
me like, you know, like what if you had another Harlow or
whatever, I was like, man, I wouldn't love that one as much

(03:10):
as I love you. You kidding me?
It's. Not the same.
It's not the same, you know? And then I, and then I'm like,
oh, that's kind of harsh. And then it then it just doubled
down. I'm like, actually, no, I'm, I'm
being serious. Like #2 has just not gotten any
attention from me. Oh my God.
Well, I don't know if that's necessarily true, but.
No, this is in in my life, in myworld.
Yeah, OK. I can't speak for you, but.

(03:31):
Like, and there's no way #2 for me would have been like, Harlow
was like, so good, you know, yeah #2 would be all the bad.
It would have to be all the bad.That's what you manifest.
I mean, it's also, I mean, I would work with it, but I, I
could just, I, I could just see that happening.
It's like, because I've seen, I've seen that happen with other

(03:53):
couples too that have like 2 kids and like the first one was
like really easy and then the second one was just like
everything hurts, you know? You never know.
I mean, you never know. You are the only child in your
family, so you're just perfect. Yeah, super special.
Highly. Favorite Yes, I have a little
brother and I would say that of course I'm the better of the two

(04:14):
my my parents favorite, but I was the difficult one and my
brother's actually the pretty easy one.
He's never gotten in trouble. Oh, that's, that's funny.
Good kid, really gentle me. Definitely got in a handful of
trouble growing up, which I don't want to get into, but
yeah, I wasn't like the easiest kid.

(04:34):
I always forget. I always forget that you have a
little brother. Yeah.
I have a little brother. I mean, he's not very little.
He's like 6-2 so he's like taller than.
Me. No, I know, but you know, like a
younger brother, I should say. Yeah, it feels weird, siblings.
But yeah, he's in his 30s now which is so weird for me, but.
Yeah, Yeah. I always actually wanted to ask
you this like do you what is like the age group of like

(04:57):
clientele that comes in for you?Oh, good question.
I think a lot of our core customers are like around our
age, like in our early 30s to mid to late 40s.
We definitely learn more. Female moms love us.
Hell yeah. Kind of like moms love Kim Jong

(05:18):
Grilling. Moms love me.
But yeah, it's mostly like younghip people who kind of like,
have a bar for what, like, theirtaste preferences are and
wanting to chase new things. And then yeah, moms, moms.
Yeah. Wanting better options.

(05:39):
Yeah, I ask you this cause like for me, we've like when we were
downtown, it didn't matter if school started.
You know. And then now I'm in a back in a
neighborhood and I kind of forgot that like school
starting's a big deal and like people kind of holding on their
money a little bit more. But then again, you know, it's

(06:00):
like the spending people spending these days is, is like,
I think we're in this weird transition phase, you know, like
where people are spending more and now people are spending less
because at one point people couldn't spend right, like COVID
because of COVID and stuff like that.
But. But they were spending online.
But there's, yeah, they were spending online and then like.
Comfort items for the home because everyone was nesting.

(06:23):
Yeah. And like, I think for me being a
being a food service restaurant or food service position, it's
like this is the first time I haven't had to do DoorDash or
anything. Okay.
Yeah, so I'm not. I'm not.
You can't make a digital transaction and get Kim Jong
going at your door. Is that more of a pain in the
ass for you than any? Yeah, 100%.

(06:44):
Plus I don't like sharing my money with fucking huge
corporations. Yeah, that just literally suck
me dry. And you don't you don't want to
put the extra charge on the customer, even if you if you
were to like add a surcharge or.Something, yeah, but the way
that everything is going, like how much more can I push back
onto the customer? I agree.
You know, like, I can't be like,oh, here's a beeping box that's

(07:06):
$48. I mean, I could, it's worth it.
I'm just saying it's it's. It's the principle of it for.
You, but it doesn't come back. It never comes back to like, oh,
that person's DoorDash is set upso they have to take the money
and Nah, Nah, it's always set uplike fuck that.
These guys are expensive. Oh yeah.
I see that. So, yeah, so it's this kind of
like it's kind of a fight on that part.

(07:27):
I mean, like, I'm glad I don't have to do that much delivery or
deliveries anymore at all. But I mean, this is the way
things have been going. The back to school thing is so
real as far as like the businessjust like shifting and I think I
think everybody feels that hit. I just wonder like what
businesses this is the season for them, you know, like what
like pencil businesses or? Staples.

(07:48):
Like, yeah, Staples. Staples is making them crushing.
Oh, wait. Oh, target.
Target's probably doing great. Oh.
Yeah, target, target. Probably grocery shopping for,
you know, the meals. Yeah.
I think people shift gears and stop going, or they attempt to
stop going out to eat as much. Yeah.
You know, versus like, in the summertime, people are just

(08:10):
trying to pack everything into the day, you know?
And like, it's like less eventful, you know?
Yeah, for sure. So, well, I mean, it's kind of
nice that you don't have to do DoorDash.
I, it's something that we've been curious about but have been
kind of hesitant to even try outbecause I'm like, how does that

(08:32):
translate into having a quality experience for the customer if
they're ordering our stuff through the service that adds
all these extra charges? And like, I, I've heard the
argument of like, hey, it's convenience.
So a lot of people are just convenience driven.
They'll be happy to pay for all of that.
But I, I looked into it, I triedto see from the business owners
and like what their experience was.

(08:54):
And I saw a lot of people havingbad experiences with like bad
ratings happening and. Oh yeah.
Disputes of like missing items and like that falling back on
the business and, you know, DoorDash not taking
responsibility. Well, OK, so from like my point
of view, right? Like whenever I've had to be
accountable, like I pay for it, right?

(09:15):
Like if somebody gets an order and they RIP me off and they say
they didn't get it, but they actually got it and they got to
make it again, and then you knowwhat I mean?
All of a sudden, like my shot becomes a 2 for one deal, then,
yeah, DoorDash will take care ofit.
Oh, they do some sometimes, yeah, some cases.
Then there's other cases of likewhere I will look at this kind
of like this kind of like how people see me, how people eat my

(09:37):
food, right. Because much like you like I
have a lot invested time into telling people what this is,
what this is about, even down tohow to eat.
And I think DoorDash and all thedelivery apps, the gig economy
kind of cheapens a lot of that quote UN quote authentic
experience. When I say authentic experience,

(09:58):
I mean like me there someone from my team there, you see them
making the food, you see things happening versus it just shows
up on your door. Maybe you can get thrown at your
door, you know, and then a lot of times, So for a long period
of time, a lot of delivery companies, they don't vet the
people that are driving for them, right?
There are times where I'll have like amazing drivers, you know,

(10:21):
and, and, and, and then it's like this thing, like where like
I see homie again and I'm like, Hey, these are the notes for
this thing, you know, like I caneven say that.
Then there's other times where like, I mean dude, I've, I mean
I've gotten in a fight like physical altercation with an
Uber driver before. Quality varies.
So the quality varies, the quality varies and then like
they, the drivers can rate you too.

(10:42):
Like nothing's stopping the driver from rating your shop as
a consumer as well. I hate that.
Yeah, so like there's a it's just a there's a lot of holes in
it. It's definitely not perfected,
but I think for the convenience driven part, you know, then you
do like goodies doesn't become as I in my eyes, it wouldn't
become as special. It's like not an experience,

(11:02):
right. Then it just becomes a place
where people just are huge Dicksand they're just like, yeah,
dude, I got Pocky on the fly from this Pocky shop, you know,
like, that's how that's how thatworks, you know, like.
That's our that's our fear for sure, especially with something
that we feel like we've worked hard on trying to translate.
Yeah. But yeah, that that is always
kind of like a challenge in small business ownership too,

(11:23):
because it's very personal usually.
And that personal touch and experience really matters so
much. And as you scale, like how, how
can you maintain those pieces right?
Of course, like having the rightteam matters, but other elements
can easily, like you said, cheapen the experience.

(11:45):
And like that's kind of our mainhesitation in trying any of
these new things. But I don't know, it's on my
mind whenever it's really slow, I'm like, what, what do we have
to do? Like do we have to join the dark
side? I mean, it's funny too, because
for a long time, like I was actually one of the first places
you could get delivery because back in the day, Amazon tried
it, tried their hand at it. At food delivery.

(12:07):
Yeah, so it used to be like, it used to be part of their Amazon
Prime program package, like you could get my food delivered and
stuff. Crazy.
Yeah, Yeah. And the rules were way
different. But now it is like a way of
life. Now you can't DoorDash stuff.
Now it it it's to the point where I think it it affects
people's like budgeting, you know, especially with their
paychecks and stuff like not like, yes, obviously it takes

(12:31):
money from your account, but I mean budgeting like people
literally get their paychecks and they're like, OK, I need 300
for DoorDash and I need that, you know what I mean?
Yeah, it's insane. It's insane.
But if that's this adaptation, you know, like your consumer
adapting to to how to get your awesome products right.
Like how do we, I get, I think alot of that stuff too, like

(12:51):
because of convenience, you know, it's just been like, like,
do you get more business becauseof it?
Like are you getting more business because of that
convenience or are you and you're achieving the experience
or ideally it's like, oh, I got a delivery once, I'm actually
going to go to the shop this time.
Yeah, that's the question. Like I guess we would only
really know by trying, but I also have those like has fears

(13:13):
of it not being a good experience.
Yeah, it's crazy too. And then you really have to like
watch the numbers of like how much DoorDash is taking and how
much like Uber Eats is taking percentage wise and stuff like
that, you know? Yeah.
Yeah, 'cause they, they'll rewrite, they'll they'll just
redo the whole system every timeto get 30% of your business.

(13:37):
Like they'll be like, oh, it's only 9%, 9% of the whole ticket
item for our services. But then they'll be like, but
you can't be found on their app,OK.
And then they're just like, it'sanother 5% to advertise on the
app and then they push you up intheir app.
That's like being like it's a. Scheme.
It's a total, it's a total like scheme.

(13:59):
And then they have the nerve to yell at you about raising your
prices so you can afford that scheme. 30%, yeah.
At that point, it's just it wouldn't make sense for someone
like us unless we raised our prices, which I, I just, I'm
hard to know that. And so when that when during
COVID, you know, like the city put a cap on them to only be
able to take 10%, it just doesn't.

(14:19):
It's just choking us out. And it came out that I think it
was Grubhub. Grubhub was actually onboarding
restaurants without their consent because they were not
English speaking English. Was their first language.
Yeah, and then I did some research because I had to sit in
on those meetings as well because I have a lot to fucking

(14:40):
say about it. I remember one of the arguments
that Uber had, which is their whole thing, right?
Like I. Kind of remember this.
Yeah, like when like they, they were like, Oh yeah.
Like I, I remember somebody was prepping.
They're like, yeah, Uber's talking about pulling the whole
Uber app and having Uber not be available to Portland.
And I was like, do you understand what that what you

(15:00):
just said to me? Like, so they're just going to
take 70,000 jobs? It's like they're going to
fucking do that shit, dude. Let's fucking choke them while
we, while we got them Now they just made $4 trillion.
You know, I have a lot to say about it.
It's a, it's a hot topic for me.How many?
Years ago with I I kind of remember you posting about this
actually when I first. Moved here.
So it was like 2021. Yeah, 2020-2021.

(15:21):
And then like when it came down,when it boils down to like, I
just hate the way that they use the vernacular of like, oh,
we're your partners and we're helping you.
Guys are money partners. No dude, I'm helping you make
money. You guys are landlords.
Yeah. And it cheapens, it just
cheapens everything. Like it's so weird to me.
I used to think the consumer wasthe one that that's where the

(15:44):
buck is, you know, where these like a lot of like bigger
companies are taking the filtering the money from.
But it's it's actually kind of not.
It's actually from the smaller businesses.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like for instance,
like your small business could promote a mom and pop type of
products, right? But you still have to pay all
the tariffs to get that thing tothat, you know what I mean?

(16:06):
And like. We pay upfront, yeah, all the
liabilities on us. And then when there is a dispute
with the customer to who's prioritized exactly with the
customer Exactly. But this is true on a lot of
different platforms, including like, you know, places like Etsy
and eBay and all those platforms, Amazon, the seller is

(16:28):
a seller or a small business or a vendor is the least
prioritized in this transaction.And yeah, it's it's kind of the
same story everywhere. Yeah, and it's, I mean, you
know, like whether or not you dodecide to go with doing
deliveries, you know, obviously there's no judgments for me.
I definitely made my money with them.

(16:49):
It's just it, it's just so much more.
It, it's just so much harder to maintain the digital version of
yourself. You know, the digital shop looks
way different. The effort goes in, but then
you're just really not. I I hear that.
Yeah, I, I hate recategorizing monies, you know what I mean?
That was like one of my, one of the things I talked to a lot of

(17:11):
people about. I'm just like, what's the
difference between this $20 bill, this $20 bill that a drug
dealer had, this $20 bill that agambler had, this $20 bill that
a blue collar worker had? I was like nothing.
It all spends the same, it all folds exactly the same, right?
But when it comes to the digitalmonies like, it doesn't really
fold, you know, it doesn't really the.
Additional fees and. The additional fees and then

(17:32):
just the hidden stuff that you know, like I think at one point
in time I I paid Uber against DoorDash to get my business, but
I ended up just ripping both of them off.
That's going to have to be a Patreon exclusive if you guys
want to hear how he did that. Cheat code.
There is definitely a cheat code.
There's 1000% of cheat code. And if anybody that's a business

(17:52):
owner that wants to do this, that wants to talk about it, I
can tell, I can, I can pave the way for you.
But you have to be real confident.
The confidence has to be high. Yeah.
I mean even just like credit card transaction fees, they, I
remember after our first year ofbusiness and looking back on all
of those fees and then like Shopify fees on top of that,
we're like we are definitely we didn't include that in the

(18:16):
pricing structure and we, we hadto learn the hard way and still
to this day we are reworking on our pricing strategy all the
time and here being in our thirdyear, like September being our
third, third year anniversary. Oh yeah, that's right.
Happy birthday it. Is.
Thank you. A big thing that we've been
focusing on is actually optimizing our pricing strategy

(18:40):
again to benefit the customer more on our key products that
they can more easily like obtainas a daily habit.
And so just bringing down some prices and making some things
make more sense in that way. But we finally have come to a
place where we're able to do those kinds of things and also

(19:01):
through the learnings of the last few years.
Yeah, yeah. Pricing is a crazy thing.
Pricing is a crazy thing 'cause I have to like my short rib.
Like for me, Galby, like short ribs is my lobster.
I don't like, I don't make you have to have something on your
menu that like hella shines, right?

(19:21):
That's how I always order it. It's the best deal.
It's like the best deal, like you guys get the best bang for
the buck, but I have to pay for the rest of it, which I'm like
whatever, like 'cause I'm, I'm fucking good at it.
But if I was a really charged for what the short rib would be,
then it's like, yeah, you do. That is definitely a $28.00
beeping box, but I'm giving it to you for 19.
So it's just averaged out and you just bite it there.

(19:43):
But I mean that Kybee quality isgood.
It's really good. And then I, I have to, yeah.
And again, you have to like, like for like at some point once
you do all the math, at least for in my business, I have to
sit there and be like, holy shit, are these people going to
fucking pay for this? You know, like I, I used to
announce when I had to do a price change.

(20:04):
Because when you're a small business, you're kind of in your
first few years. Because you have to focus so
much on on something about yourself, you become a
narcissist and you have to be like, hey guys, I'm so sorry but
I have to charge next to 48. Cents.
I don't know if that's narcissism.
I know. I'm.
But let me finish. But it's not so much that it's

(20:25):
like narcissism. It's just that you think in your
brain. Your brain is geared to think
that everybody's gonna notice. Oh.
You're self-conscious. And you get really
self-conscious, right? And where the narcissist part
comes in is that like if you getfed the whole serotonin boost
from people being like, oh, it'sOK, I understand you could do

(20:45):
this, this and that, the other. And then you start thinking that
you're the main character, you're the whole thing.
When really it's just like, guys, this is what things cost.
You know, like this, this, if you can skip that whole stage of
your business And it's like, this is just what things cost.
And this is what we're doing andthis is it.
Yeah. It's very, it's very hard to

(21:06):
like thinking back now like likenow, if I raise, like whenever I
raise my prices or whenever prices need to be adjusted, I
just never addressed it. And I'm, I'm learning a lot more
now that that's probably one of the best moves that I can apply
to like everything in, in, in mybusiness life.
Yeah, like I don't think we haveto apologize for everything,

(21:27):
especially if it's necessary. I.
Don't think we have to apologizefor shit.
OK, great. Thanks for the permission.
Yeah, just put tape over it. Yeah.
No, I mean, yeah, exactly. Like it's really funny 'cause
like the the whole tape over themenu part is that whenever we
do, whenever we do like pop ups at events or whatever we're

(21:49):
vending, I always, always, always grab a piece of cardboard
and I'll hand write the menu andsometimes it'll I'll put the
price down. I'd be like, oh shit, I should
actually charge more and I'll scribble it out and then shoot
the other one in. It's so chaotic and but people
kind of kind of love it, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's.

(22:10):
I don't know. Whoa, what was that sound?
Is that your stomach? Yeah, I'm hungry.
You're hungry. If you want to support this
podcast, you can support us by showing up to Kim Jong Grillin
at The Heist or to Goodies SnackShop here in Old Town.
That'll fill you up. Oh my God, you're so right.
I'm here at Goodies. I'm getting all the good stuff.

(22:31):
Nice. Well, back to the show.
This has been a crazy week though looking back.
Oh, current events. As far as like current events
goes, they're like, yeah, you know, it's kind of weird. 3
school shootings. Yes. 4 technique.
I don't know, yeah, it's hard tokeep count now, but I kind of

(22:52):
feel like we kind of, we have toaddress this whole thing.
Like, I guess we don't have to address it, but I just have
things to say about. Get it off your chest.
About like people that are really sympathizing for somebody
being super racist all the fucking time and then saying
like, oh, but he had a family and his kids and think I'm like,

(23:16):
yo, dude, this guy was straight up a fucking Nazi.
Anyways, he spews a lot of hate and you know, like he got what
he got. Like he like what he supported
got him killed. Like he, you know, like he put
his neck out there. He put his neck out there for
this whole, for his whole point of view and like literally got

(23:38):
shot because of the things that he was like talking about and he
got shot by another white person, which is fucking crazy.
Yeah. Well, not that crazy.
What I honestly, all I got to say about something like that is
when you have a platform like that person did and you're
spewing this kind of hateful stuff that it's, it's just so

(23:58):
damaging and harmful to the masses.
I have so many other things to feel sympathetic for and to feel
bad about, and I just can't listthis as one of those things.
I heard this thing years ago when somebody, somebody said
this or somebody tweeted this orsomething.
They're like racist, don't deserve good food, They don't

(24:18):
deserve the food. Like they don't deserve tacos.
No, I they. Don't deserve.
I super agree with that. You're trying to get rid of all
of our people right now and you,you think you can eat our food?
But The thing is, OK, yeah. And, and it's funny because
people are like, well, like the argument to that is they're just
ignorant, right? Or like they're just whatever.
I'm like 2025. And I feel like we've kind of

(24:41):
entered this new stage in life. I think all of us that are POC,
I really encourage this too, is that like we can not only stand
up for ourselves, we can actually, I think we're here
where we can actually kind of sway a lot of people's opinions
by just being us. Yeah, and speaking up.
And speaking up, I almost think that people, not people, excuse

(25:03):
me, I think that we, I don't know there there's a lesson here
that I'm trying to like grasp. But if this guy died for what he
believed in yet we're just putting we're just like we're,
but we're constantly in danger. Like I think it's like like
people are seeing now that you can be in like serious danger
for speaking the way that you do.

(25:24):
And like having, having these like crazy opinions can really
fuck you up, you know? Yeah, I think honestly, it's,
it's triggered a lot of white people, yeah, because they feel
unsafe. And this, this happens all the
time. I, I, I remember when all the

(25:44):
riots were happening after George Floyd got murdered.
And then after that time, like Ijust constantly heard, heard
white people complain about the BLM movement and how it made
them feel unsafe. And I think in many ways, a lot
of people, a lot of white folks felt for the first time

(26:06):
conscious and self-conscious of being white because people were
being openly. On that scale.
Right. And so, like, I don't know, I
think in many ways people are reminded of their impermanence.
Yeah. And in an age where we can see

(26:26):
all of this, where like, everything's on camera,
everything or the, the pace at which media moves and like, you
know, our our technology, we share things so quickly.
Everybody saw what happened, youknow?
Yeah, that was not censored. Fucking crazy.
They couldn't. They, they couldn't.
They can do it fast enough, you know.

(26:47):
Nothing can be really covered upin terms of like what's shared,
so it's interesting, but. I mean, it's crazy.
Like, I think that that might have rewritten the definition of
irony. Like the second question he
answered was about gun control and then boom, it's.
It's pretty ironic. Timing was pretty poetic in some

(27:09):
ways. In Oh, 100%.
But to go back to what we were talking about, like I think we
are in the age of accountability.
You're right. Like say something like say
something fucked up online, you're gonna get, you know, you
could get doxed and you can loseyour job.
Like, I, I saw somebody, I saw this black streamer talking

(27:30):
about this guy, just going afterhim on a message board or
something like that, saying all this racist stuff.
And he was like, I'm going to find you.
You're going to lose your job. You know, I'm not going to feel
bad whatsoever. No apology, no tears are going
to make this happen. And I was, I think that that kid
is super young, the streamer, the streamer was really young.

(27:52):
And he's like, I feel no sympathy.
I feel nothing for you. And that is such a powerful
statement that he made an example out of somebody to do
that. And like this in the opposite
end, it's just like this guy spewed a lot of hate, called all
of us that are all of us beautiful POC folks and BIBOC
folks, ignorant, slow, not up topar, not up to snuff, you know?

(28:19):
And lo and behold, like, you know, you called like he called
everybody super violent. And lo and behold, you died by
violence by another white person.
Yeah. You know, like it's just, it's
just, yeah, there's so much poetry.
There's so much poetry that's going on this.
Yeah, people should not be able to hide behind a screen name.

(28:40):
Yeah, yeah. I mean, the Internet is vicious.
They will find you. Unfucking defeated, undefeated.
But also when when you're like that fearless in spewing stupid
BS like that. I mean, I'm not saying you
deserve to get shot in the neck and die on national TV, but

(29:02):
watch what you're saying. Yeah, I mean I.
I agreed. I that's all I have to say about
that, honestly. Agreed.
And I, you know, like I've learned a lot in the past few
years, especially like how, how Instagram and how deep and how
reach like the far reaches that I can grab with, with my, my, my

(29:22):
voice and my persona online. And maybe people have noticed,
maybe people haven't. I haven't really posted that
much because I honestly just really got lost my taste for
just rage baiting people. And just like, you know, like,
it's one thing for me to like put my opinion out there and
people really fucking agree withit or it's, it's just

(29:45):
exhausting. It's so exhausting.
And I think I don't want it's, this has nothing to do with me,
like going after free speech andstuff like that.
It's just literally, like, you really just cannot say too much
without getting blowback. And now every time I want to
post about something, I have to think about that blowback.
That's what usually stops me is it's like, oh, fuck, I'm going

(30:06):
to answer all these DMS. I'm going to have to like, it's
my back. It's exhausting.
This is like this is, yeah, I just don't.
Again, I sympathize for the kids.
Yeah, there's so many. There's so many things, but we
don't have to be reminded of that.
That's already there, you know? But what isn't already there is
the fact that like no one shut you up, you know, like no one,

(30:30):
like no, none of your peers shutyou the fuck up.
And now, you know, now everybodyknows this could now get you
violently killed in front of a lot of people online.
So. Yep.
Yeah. And and you know, The funny
thing is about all this is that the like, it's times like these,

(30:51):
like that I now see the true colors of certain people.
Oh. Absolutely.
So I like, like when I heard that happen, I was like, damn,
he's still alive. And then people were just like,
man, you should feel bad, you know, Like, no one's just got
like that. I'm like, OK, now your name's on
my list. Like, why do?
Why are you sympathizing? You know, like.
We had someone come in and say that they were having a bad day

(31:13):
and they brought that that pieceof news up.
I think the one interesting thing about instances like this
that I've noticed is that I'm sure a lot of people knew about
this person, but also there's also a lot of people who didn't
really follow this and like didn't know anything about them.
But because of this instance, everyone knows about their

(31:35):
background and what they were about.
And I think that part's also interesting.
Yeah, yeah, I I agree with you. So it's kind of like, yeah, we,
we all got a taste of it now. Yeah, politically done.
So I, it's wild too, 'cause likeI think I've, I've recently, not

(31:59):
so much recently in the past like couple years, I've gotten
like really comfortable being able to walk away from work.
And I think a big part of that is because I know where like I
kind of redefined where my comfort is and like what defines
like a peaceful space for me. And I have to get in, I get into
certain routines where it's justeverything's work, everything is
work, work, work, work, work where it's like, and then I have

(32:23):
to force like, like the one thing that forces me to like
relax is to bedrock or something, you know?
But it, yeah, like I, I, I'll never forget, like at one point
in time I did not have that option, you know, like, I didn't
have that option to have a placeto call home and just to be able
to relax. And I think that's like, I think

(32:45):
that's like really important, you know, like I think I feel
the most at home either a, in the back of my food cart telling
the team what they need to be doing in the most facetious way
possible and having fun and, andtelling jokes.
And then the other part of me, like the other place that I feel
the most at home, is in the mostquiet corner of my fucking

(33:07):
bedroom. That's important.
Yeah. And I don't know, I think that's
some that's like one of the yeah, it's just lately just been
so in my face. Actually, it's funny that we
wrote that. We wrote that down about the
concept of home. Wait, what's been in your face?
It's just the concept of home and comfort and like being able

(33:29):
to like I think I, I don't know what it is.
I think the older I get, the more I realize, the more I'm by
myself, the more at my at peace I feel than having to even being
out or going out. I think it's, I don't know if it
was like a sign of the times or it's just the, yeah, maybe I'm
just starting to age out of a lot of stuff or something, but I

(33:52):
don't find going out very comforting anymore.
And yeah, it's even like it's made me rethink a lot of the
relationships I have with people.
I feel like I just especially inthe restaurant industry and, and
everything, like it's, it's always pressured to go out or to
be seen or get recognized. You know, that like I'm at the
point now where it's like I wantthe my ego is just like, your

(34:16):
party was good enough for me to come out and show my face that,
you know, but the real, the realthing is it's like it is fucking
it. It's it's so exhausting for me
to have to go out and I've I chase like quality relationships
and really chase like things that are worth each other's
times. That sounds relaxing.
So you you don't feel the pressure to feel like you need

(34:39):
to stay as relevant in like the social scene in that way like
you may have used. To no see that.
Yeah, exactly it. That's exactly it.
Like they used to have to think that I got to post every four
hours and yeah, this at the other.
And now I've come to a point where like, I, I feel like, I
feel like it's because I've seenthe other side and it's just not
for me. OK, I, I think this kind of

(35:02):
sounds like where kind of women my age are like embracing their
Ajima era where they're like, I don't give a shit.
I don't care what I look like aslong as I feel comfortable and
good. You know, I'm just owning that
piece, the comfort of like, yeah, you've earned your
confidence and not having to prove yourself in many ways,

(35:23):
which I totally get. I I want to embrace that part a
lot more too as as time goes by to.
The Ajima era is a fucking thing, man.
It is a fucking thing. Holy should I didn't even think
about that. And I feel like our our
generation and younger are really embracing these things.
Whereas like, it used to be kindof an insult being like, oh,
you're an ajamma now. And for those who don't know,

(35:45):
ajamma is kind of like a middle-aged woman.
It's it's a Korean term. But but yeah, like my brother
jokingly was like, he's like, you're like you're almost 35
now. You're totally an Ajima.
And I was like, I don't. Yeah, dude, that's.
Fine. Yeah, you know, that's fine.
I'm OK with that. Yeah, you go, you go.
Keep chasing those AB GS. But I mean, the concept of home

(36:08):
is really interesting for me, and I could talk about this
forever, I guess. But I was talking to Terence the
other day about this and it's gonna sound a little cheesy too,
but like, I feel like most of mylife I had this like, sense of
homesickness that I just literally couldn't fill that
hole. Just always felt like that

(36:29):
feeling of home was missing. And I think it, it could have
been a lot of different things. It could have been the fact that
we moved around a lot as we werekids.
And then, you know, like also being in a family where our
parents like split up when we were pretty young too, and not

(36:49):
really having that stable like family home where we felt like
we would do all the, you know, family holidays.
We didn't really have that at a certain point in our life.
And so I think that definitely stayed with me for a pretty long
time. And so I think I ended up

(37:10):
finding myself like wanting to create that feeling of home for
myself. And I think, yeah, the other day
I was just talking to Terrence and I, I realized I was like,
hey, I finally feel like maybe Ijust don't have that
homesickness feeling anymore, even though currently, like our
home situation isn't like the best.
So we're like looking for our own little nest where we can

(37:32):
build this like peaceful space. But I found that like home
feeling within our little familyeven before Tycho was born.
Like I just felt that with Terrence.
But now that we have a little kid and like, all that matters
is US and the dog. That is amazing.
Yeah, it's, it's a nice feeling 'cause I'm like, wow, that

(37:54):
emptiness kind of like subsided.I haven't felt that feeling in a
long time. Even when shit is hard and
things are crazy. But that's that's true now.
And also talking to my dad recently, 'cause he's been going
back and forth visiting Korea a lot recently, but he's lived
here longer than I've been alive.

(38:16):
So like, he's lived in the States for maybe like close to
40 years. And I recently asked him too, It
was just like, do you ever want to go back to Korea and live
there? Like, is that home for you?
And he said something that kind of blew, blew me away.
And I'd never thought about, buthe was like, you know, I've

(38:37):
lived here for such a long time,but this country is not my home.
It's the home of my children. And at this point too, when I go
back to Korea, Korea is also notmy home.
I've been gone for so long. It's not the Korea that I I
knew. So he's kind of like in this
weird place. But I mean, it's not like a sad

(38:58):
or depressing thing from what itsounded like from him, but it
was such an interesting point ofview.
Yeah, that's that's true. My mom, so years ago, I tried to
send my mom to Korea, and I was like, you're just going to live
there. And in my brain I was like, all

(39:21):
right, like my sunshine, you know, and my aunties, I was
like, please do your thing. Keep her there.
I think she was there for like 11 months.
She resisted. And she was just like, that
place fucking sucks. I can't get a car, you know, no,
there's no chairs anywhere in the bathroom situations.
And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.

(39:41):
And she's like, I'm moving back.I'm like, all right.
And I've very similar to your dad's experience.
I was just like, yeah, it's justI've been gone.
They should. They've been gone from Korea for
so long that this is home. And then I think that statement
you just said, like, this is where my kids live.

(40:02):
This is is very. I think that really rings true,
you know, because I, I've had tolike redefine what my family is,
you know, I've had to redefine like what family is period.
Like, you know, went from like daughter, mom, dad, house, dogs,

(40:22):
animals under one roof to like having to redefine it, like part
time dad, part time mom, full time kid and schedules and this
and that. And I think one of the best
things ever was the concept of we're still a family even though
we're divorced is a gigantic thing.
And once we went, once we followed that model, you know,

(40:44):
like we're able to give Harlow 2spaces.
That's healthy. Yeah, be able to give her two
spaces, two different takes, butI knew I'd be a better dad.
And now, like the definition of family doesn't have that.
Doesn't need to be that physicalcloseness, but rather it just
has like you have to show up. And that was really hard for me.

(41:04):
That was probably like some of the lowest points of my life is
is having to redefine that is tolike feel like I lost my family
or I fucked up so bad or they fucked up so bad.
So now it's like actually the things were firing where they
need to go. They're finally where they need
to be. And now I'm really proud.
I like I'm really proud of the I'm really proud of that.

(41:26):
I'm really proud of the fact that, like, I was able to build
a space for Harlow. I'm really proud that, like, her
mom and I communicate as much aswe do on the subject matter of
our daughter, you know, So like,I wonder, I want to ask Harlow
that too. Like what is home like for you
You. Know.
So. That's deep.
Yeah, it is deep. But I think, you know, like, you

(41:47):
know, she's 13. You know, she's got a lot of
things on her mind. I don't think that's like that
deep of a question. No, but it's deep how you guys
handled it and you're like, you know.
Yeah, like I feel like now we'reable now is what the ideal used
to be, you know, and then we'll just keep plugging away at that.

(42:08):
I think at one point one of us said this to each other was
like, look, I'm going to be in your fucking life, your whole
fucking life. Like we gotta, you know, like we
could either try to like literally try to murder each
other every week or we could, you know, like, let's just like
it's always about Harlow. It's always about making sure
she's got what she needs and then.
She's your North Star. Everything like she definitely

(42:29):
is. Yeah.
I think this is a beautiful thing.
It's, I love seeing new, new parents like you and Terrance
because you guys are going to start building that and you
start seeing that, you know, like.
Yeah, what a beautiful thing. I mean, all the challenges.
I feel like something that's so important about this human
experience is to continue to grow as people.

(42:50):
And it's all about how you handle the challenges that come
your way. And things might not be perfect,
but like, as as long as you're moving and growing, that's kind
of the right, right path that weshould be taking.
It's when we stop trying to be better and stagnating that it's
just kind of like you become a shitty person.
Yeah, I like, I really like whatTerence said.

(43:11):
Is this like, yeah, I just strive to do better, you know,
like, and that's so true. I, I think once I took that on,
a lot of things and perspectivesshifted for me, especially like,
especially like within the confines of business and
everything like that. But it's also, it also makes
things that piss me off, like piss me off even more.

(43:31):
Yeah. You know, like, like, especially
like when it's try to like hold people accountable.
Yeah. You know, just like, why can't
you just see that they just justsay sorry, Like you like, just
apologize. It's not that deep, you know,
especially when it comes to 'cause when it comes to like
with your team and stuff, like I'm very blessed.
I've been blessed for the past few years, like having a really

(43:52):
good team behind me at Kim Jong Un.
And it used to be like, it used to be like I had to, I had to
keep my food talking to cover my, to cover the people that
worked for us or that worked at Kim Jong Un, like, 'cause we
would just be so rude, you know,it'd just be like eating, get
the fuck out. And they're just like, OK, fuck,

(44:13):
this is really good. They're like, yeah, of course it
is. Get out, you know.
And so now, like now you can have both.
You can have great service and have good food.
Yeah, yeah, you don't get as much abuse.
You don't get as much abuse. But, you know, and I wonder how
much of that is the immigrant experience, because there's
definitely some places I go. I'm just like, look, little bit

(44:34):
of language barrier. Yeah.
But the mapo tofu is amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I, I'm OK with, you know, not being like, OK, so like, I
don't, I don't need all the smiles and like ass kissing or
anything. Food's good.
I'm happy. Yeah, I agree.

(44:57):
But yeah, I, I could see how I mean, like this.
I hate to go back to this again,but like, I think a lot of
immigrant owned restaurants, especially where there's like a
language barrier, they get screwed on all the reviews.
Like they get lower ratings because that cultural difference

(45:17):
translates differently and it's not that people are it's bad
service or people are being meanto you necessarily.
It's just culturally different sometimes.
Yeah, I agree with you. It's culturally different.
And also there's like a somebodysaid this a while ago, like if
the place got if it's an Asian place that got 3 1/2 stars and
the most of their bad reviews are because of the service, then

(45:40):
the food's going to be fired, right.
But I think about, I think aboutthis as well, the customer isn't
always right. And I've, I've been kind of
walking proof of this is that like, you know, like there's
like there's a lot of things on the consumer side, like when
they get fatigued with choices because you try to placate to

(46:02):
everybody, you know, or you try to make your menu gigantic so
everybody has a piece of something.
Well, that's not really what we're here for, you know, like
we're here to do this one specific thing.
And if this isn't it, then don'tyuck our Yum and move the fuck
on. And I think especially now in,

(46:22):
in, in the business of food and,and even in your business, you
know, it's just like you're celebrating the niche and the
difference, yeah, versus having to just 'cause you, you, you
probably could rent out a bunch of your shelves for every
flavored Dorito, you know what Imean?
We have a focus. You have a focus.
And I think when people try to, I think a lot of times the
consumer tries to break that focus.

(46:43):
Yeah, You know, they try to break that focus with
convenience and just be like, well, you have rice and you have
this and it I you probably have sugar.
Like can you just make me a teriyaki like?
Suggestions. No, fuck you, I don't do that.
Yeah. Exactly.
Go over there and yeah, I, I just like you just can't let the
customer, the consumer, like fuck that up.

(47:05):
Yeah, it's so sacred to us. Yes, you can't listen to every
voice outside your head. Like, if you if we were to take
everyone's advice, what kind of Frankenstein would our business
be? For me, it's just OK, noted in
my Bank of, you know, suggestions.
But like, ultimately you have tounderstand your own business.

(47:26):
But going back to the cultural difference in a restaurant, like
it's cute. Like, I really love eating at
Kenny's Noodle House. Oh yeah.
Yeah, and I mean, Terrence notices like some differences,
like in like not service but like communication, which we
both adore. But one funny example was last

(47:50):
time we went and I ordered a brisket plate, which I love
'cause there's so much tendon init.
And Terrance was like, I want the wanton noodle with brisket.
And she corrected him or not corrected.
She suggested, well, you're already getting the brisket.
Why don't you just get the wonton noodle soup without the

(48:12):
brisket? And he's like, I want the
brisket. She's like, yeah, but you're
getting a side of brisket. Why?
Why are you going to do double brisket?
And he ultimately, like, gave in.
OK, you're right. I'll, I'll get what you said.
And he was like at the end of dinner, he's like, man, she must
have thought I was dumb for ordering double, double.

(48:34):
And I was like, dude, she's justthought there was a better way.
And like typically in like a more American restaurant, like
you're not going to get that kind of suggestion.
But it's like, not very. It's, you know, it's.
Yeah, I, I, yes, you're right. You won't get suggestion like
you're. Corrections.
The corrections or what, whatever you want to call them.

(48:56):
So like I've worked in like, like I've worked in, I've worked
in enough restaurants where likethere's restaurants where just
like, oh, OK, you want fries. Yeah, OK.
And then you want a basket of other fries.
And then you want. Whatever you.
Want you want whatever you want.Yeah, just what's up?
It's like, yeah, welcome to Chili's.
How's it going? Oh, you want an extra rib?
We can, we can do that, you know, oh, you want soup, salad
and breadsticks and this, you know, like, and that is like,

(49:17):
that's actually the baseline restaurant is where I sit.
However, when you start getting into like the elevated
experience, you want your serverto tell you what to get.
Yeah, exactly. You want the input from the
service, but you can't how to enjoy it.
You can't take the elevated attitude as the consumer and
apply that to non elevated experience places.

(49:38):
Like if I go to Chili's, I'm like, hey, what you know, like
what's what's good tonight? I know the person.
Just be like, what do you mean? The fuck do you mean what's good
tonight? Oh yeah.
You want that fucking 4 ounce steak for $95?
That's what you want. That's what's fucking good
today, motherfucker. You know, versus like when once
you pull those things, when onceyou go to that elevated
experience, quote UN quote, which is a total fucking first,

(50:00):
It's it, it is just a different experience because that's
essentially what you're buying. You know, I just agree so much.
Like when I go in, especially tolike places that are like
Kenny's Noodle House or something like that, I'll kind
of, I always like kind of like ocularly scan the menu.
I'm like, fuck, that doesn't sound like something I would
get. I don't think, I don't think I
got the stomach for it. Maybe I should do this.

(50:21):
And then they'll just be like, oh, if you're gonna get that,
you should get the, you should get this one.
I'm like, fuck, here we go with that elevated mindset with like
the, the elevated space set, youknow, And like 9 times out of 10
I'm actually shocked. I'm like, oh, damn, that was
really good. You're right.
The tripe and the tendon, Same, same but different, you know?

(50:42):
Yeah, when an auntie has suggestions or tells me what to
do, I tend to just obey and go for the ride.
Yeah. And I haven't regretted it.
Yeah, I generally don't have anyregrets either with that, unless
it's. Yeah, actually I usually don't
have any regrets with that. Like, as a business owner, I
don't like having the consumer consistently tell me like, like

(51:03):
one of the biggest red flags is somebody is just like, oh, like
when people correct me, like, dude, you should really, you
know, like, I don't think the customer's going to like that.
I always just like fuck the customer with a capital F.
Do you have a restaurant? Like no, do you have a
restaurant? You know, like do you have?
Have you ever done this? I feel like you haven't done

(51:24):
that. You can't even use chopsticks.
Why am I going to listen to you?Do you know?
Oh yeah. You're you're lesser than if you
can't, shame on you. Hey guys, you're listening to We
All Look Alike, a podcast about Han and Joyce's experiences
running business here in Portland, their life, and a

(51:45):
critique on what's happening in the world.
If you want to support, you can come into a Goody Snack Shop or
Kim Jong Grillin anytime you're hungry and just buy something.
It helps a ton and it keeps us motivated to keep doing this
podcast. Anyways, that's it.
Hope you like the rest of this episode.
Where's one of like, I don't know if you guys have been out

(52:05):
that much lately, but what's where's one of the like, what's
one of your favorite spots? What's 1 of the favorite spots
that you do get that where you kind of have to obey?
I mean, I mean, I feel like if you sit, if you go to a nice
sushi spot, for example, and yousit at the bar, you just listen
to whatever the chef says, you know, order what they they tell

(52:26):
you and you eat it the way you're supposed to eat it or how
they want you to eat it. Where have we been going a lot
lately? I mean, we haven't been out
lately. To be honest.
I think since postpartum I've eaten the place that I've hit up
the most for comfort has been nongs.
Just, you know, all the soups and healing food.

(52:52):
I love how like nongs makes it so easy.
Yeah, they do. It's just straightforward high
quality. It's always good.
I mean, even when I was a visitor here in Portland like
over 12 years ago, like wheneverI would visit, I would have
nongs multiple times in my trip.It's just very comforting.

(53:12):
Can you help me? I don't know.
Do have we been going out at all?
I can't admit those things. Han will judge me.
What? What am I?
What am I judging? I I have to know now, what am I
going to judge you on? We we've been eating a lot of
Taco Bell breakfast because we've just been so tired and
just so hungry and dude. Taco Bell breakfast is fire.

(53:36):
It's way to work so good. I think, I think we need to stop
at Taco Bell. But right now, because we are
new parents, we kind of have been in survival mode with the
food situation. So it's just kind of like
whatever we can get to eat that's easy and minimal effort
and has some protein in it, let's do it.
I think once Tycho gets to be like once he starts eating solid

(54:01):
foods and once he figured like hopefully he's not a picky
eater, but if he's a picky eateror not a big eater, what happens
is Terrance will become a garbage can and eat whatever is
not on that and that's all Terrance will be eating for like
2-3 years. Perfect.
I I think he can handle that, yeah.
Yeah, it's generally it's. Hon, I'm not going to have a pig

(54:25):
eater as a kid. You're not going to have a pig
eater, you're going to beat it into him.
You're going to, you're going tobeat him into.
Submission like he's going to eat everything he has to.
Yeah, you just need so you just you just it just like he doesn't
have to be adventurous like you can't, you can't bat if they're
just like, no, this hurts. You got to be like, no, you got
to eat through that hurt. You got to eat through that

(54:45):
spicy, you know, and then you'llbe fine.
That's that's that's that's the real trick right there.
You can't let your kids tell youwhat they can or can't eat.
You have to tell them what to eat.
Yeah, Yeah. And then you know, Tycho will be
fine. You know what place I do miss
though? I really do like always Spring.
Oh, AG Mart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(55:07):
I like that place too. It's comforting, those ajimas.
Yes. Those Ajimas and Hamas, they're
like, so mean. Oh, they're so mean.
That's a that's a great example of a place where I feel a little
abused. Yeah, I think especially 'cause
I'm Korean, that doesn't speak Korean very well.
Yeah. So I'm kind of like beneath
them. Yeah, Oh yeah, 100%.
But like, I remember we were at the end of our pregnancy and it

(55:30):
was like, maybe it was Mother's Day.
I was like, we have to go eat Korean food.
So we went there and it was really busy and I, I don't blame
them for being short with me, but I asked them for some
poricha and she literally like hissed at me.
But she brought it. She brought it over and I was
like, it's OK. I, I, I'm used to the abuse.

(55:51):
I remember this. But like, just kind of like
makes us smile. It's just funny.
I accept it. I remember one time I went, I
think it was, was it spring where I ordered?
No, it was spring because I ordered the mandu.
I was like, oh, which? And I was like kind of having a
hard time, like between steam orfried.
And she just looked at me. She's like, get the fried

(56:11):
stupid. I'm like, oh, OK.
Wow, I've never had their fried.Yeah, but yes, being bossed
around. You just like get bossed around.
Like, look at you, look at yourself.
You want the fried ones. I'm like, oh, oh, I'll take two.
Like you'll have one like OK. Yeah, that's too much.
Like who's too much? No, but that's, that's another
thing. It's like when you order too

(56:32):
much at these places, they will tell you, yeah, you're like, no,
no, no, you're not going to order all that.
Yeah, like, oh, well, the excuseof like, oh, I'll be able to eat
this tomorrow. No, it's.
Like no, you eat it fresh. You eat it fresh, Like why are
you taking away his fucking order?
That's how they look at it, you know?
It's amazing. I, I, I appreciate those things.
Yeah, yeah, I appreciate those things too.
I just, I, I just feel like, again, we're just past a certain

(56:57):
point with, with this options. Like we're getting killed by
options all day. Like I asked somebody recently,
I was like, what's the most watched show on Netflix?
And he was like, I don't, I don't know.
I was like, it's the fucking menu screen.
So like, why are we giving thesepeople, these animals this many
options? That's true.

(57:19):
You know, like, come on, man. Whenever you're going to watch a
movie on Netflix like, you have to account for the hour that
it's going to take to choose anything.
Exactly, so why the fuck am I going to give these people full
options carte blanche? Pick what you want in.
Your box. No, I agree, decision fatigue is
real. We don't want that.
We want straightforward. Easy.

(57:39):
Just feed it to me. Yeah, I think we're, I think
we're, I think it's actually, we're coming back to that cause
especially now 'cause like I said, like with pop ups being as
popular as they are and as accessible as they are now,
you're not getting a lot of choice.
You just, you just look, you just, I like, I feel like a lot
of influencers and consumers arejust like, we're just glad to be
here. We're just glad that we can eat

(58:00):
this again. You know.
Like, thank you so much for thatlimited edition ticket to this.
It's actually kind of cool. I.
Mean experiences over things. Yeah, yeah, those limited
experiences are special. Yeah, how I, I have to, I have
to kind of touch on this becauseit's our people.

(58:20):
Like how fucking crazy is it that 260 Koreans got deported
back to Korea at the Hyundai plant At the Hyundai plant?
It's insanity. I didn't.
I didn't actually read a lot about it, I just read that it
happened. How did we let that happen?
Because a white woman said that the working conditions were

(58:41):
inhumane and so. They got deported.
So she called ICE and deported. So all these, all these people,
these Korean nationalists got deported back to Korea.
Some of them were like, some of actually read that some of them
actually had their H1B1 visa. Well that's and they just went

(59:02):
back anyways cuz they're like I don't want to do this anymore.
I mean, that's what I had read too, that, you know, they had
gone through the proper protocols and whatever, but it's
just, I don't think anything really matters anymore.
It's like every everything is just broken.
Yeah, there's a lot of things are broken.
I don't. OK, a couple of things about

(59:26):
that. The Hyundai thing is that the no
one in the news was pronouncing Hyundai right.
How did they say it? Hyundai.
Oh, Hyundai. Hyundai, Yeah.
Which is low key borderline racist thanks to white people.
The other thing is that we're gonna, we're dangerously coming
to the point where we're not gonna have a lot of nice shit

(59:49):
like the tariffs. Like, OK, like in the nerd anime
community right now that that September is here, those tariffs
are directly affecting the collecting market.
So a lot of things that are being created, like a lot of
these anime toys and stuff like that, Fuck man, even fucking
Pokémon cards at some point aren't going to be fucking
imported into America because ofthe fucking tariffs.

(01:00:12):
And then, now they think about it, like we we might be
dangerously close to having tacos taken away from Americans
altogether. It's already hard to find a good
Taco. It is, it is.
I got some fire spots for. You.
I know I actually checked one out that you, yeah, shared with
us. And yes, I was very relieved.

(01:00:35):
But yeah, again I think like. We can't have anything nice
anymore. It's.
Horrible. Not in this country, apparently,
because like, that's the thing that like is like really scary
to me. Is that OK at the Hyundai plant,
Right. It's like a brand new plant.
They're teaching everybody how to make the batteries for the
cars. Like, what if, what if?

(01:00:57):
What if all those workers don't come back?
There's no experts at it, and they don't want to come back.
Like, once corporations start pulling out?
Or is that when we're gonna, youknow, is that when we're gonna
be like, not racist anymore? When we have nothing?
Like you won't be allowed to buythings.
It's fucking loud capitalism. I mean, yeah, capitalism is the
reason why I grind and work so hard.

(01:01:18):
I want all the things that I can't fucking buy 'cause it
won't come into the country anymore because I want my
fucking anime figurines. Well, those problems feel so
cute. Cute or first world Joyce.
There's still problems not getting my blockies.

(01:01:40):
Transformers Devastator blind box pack that I ordered months
ago that is in danger of not getting here.
Yes, but it it is a sign of bigger problems and sign of the
times for sure. I I agree Han.
No, it's bad. It's bad.
It's bad. Yeah, how, how do you say sane

(01:02:01):
at the times these times, these days?
What is your What is your relaxation now that Tycho is
here? Oh, that's a great question.
I actually don't know if I have an answer to that now that we've
gotten nursing down. Honestly, the nursing part with
him, when we get to just lay down and hang out with each
other and do that bond, that is pretty relaxing when I'm not

(01:02:24):
rushed to do other things. Yeah.
I haven't been able to do a lot of like just me things too much.
I've been getting acupuncture pretty regularly since I was
pregnant with and I've also continued it on postpartum.
And yeah, I got to. How many appointments have I had

(01:02:44):
now? I think I've only gone back once
or twice since I've had him, butthat hour on that table with my
acupuncturist is like golden I Iforget and I drift off and get
to just relax. But yeah, I.

(01:03:05):
How do I stay sane in these times?
I, I think I just focus on what I can control and just focus,
yeah, on, on my family. It's, it's what brings me joy
right now despite everything. But yeah, it's not easy.
No, it's not, but I think that'syeah, being new parents, I mean,
it's hard to find. That's a hard, that's a really

(01:03:25):
difficult question to answer. Like it just brought me back to
thinking like, Oh yeah, that's right.
Like I used to be able to like when Harlow was taking a nap and
she's a baby, you know, like youjust have the baby monitor.
It's just like the I hated it because like I would like, I
would put Harlow, she'd have an app.
Dana would have to go to work and it was just me.

(01:03:48):
And then I'm like, Oh my God, I'm gonna get all this shit
done. And it would be like, no matter
what I'm working on slowly in mylike vision, I would just be the
baby monitor. And then I realized I was like,
oh, it's baby monitor time. This is how I like, it's just
quiet time. These are the things.
But I encourage you to really find out.
I really spent some time with you yourself to try to stay

(01:04:09):
sane, 'cause when things get like crazy crazy with the kid,
it's like, you know, you could be all prepared, but.
For sure. I mean, I think Terence keeps me
sane because I'm not really goodon good at taking myself out to
do like get fresh air or anything.
Actually. He he reminds me he's like, we
should go on a family walk and we'll just go on a walk.

(01:04:29):
No, no end goal insight. We just walk, walk back just to
get some fresh air. Do you think that's because do
you think that's because we're kids of immigrants?
We just didn't do that. Well, walking's free.
Still though. I don't know is that?
Is that something that has something?
To do no, man, my mom, my mom never did that shit.

(01:04:50):
She was like, we wouldn't do really, I mean.
Walks as a family. No.
Hell no. I mean, did did you live in a
walkable neighborhood? Yeah, OK.
I think like a lot of my family experiences, like the
togetherness that you, Terrence and Tycho are experiencing now,
you know, like I didn't. I don't think my parents really
had that opportunity with. Me because?

(01:05:11):
She was always working. Yeah, exactly.
Dad was always working or whatever and oh shit, I think
I'm just now realizing, yeah, that was never an option.
Like Family Time was just like watching TV.
Yeah, TV. Yeah, the TV thing and then.
Just eating together. Eating together is a big deal.
That's a big deal to to my mom and stuff like that.
But yeah, I think, I think the things that that keep me sane

(01:05:34):
now are just to be active. I don't know if that's part of
like my like trauma response is always to stay busy from, you
know, but I also try not to looktoo deep into.
It but you mean like active as in physically active?
Yeah, now, yeah, I know especially physically active,
like whether like if I'm not working, then I'm resting or I'm

(01:05:58):
working on going into boxing or like whatever, because it's just
such AI think that's why I picked the sport too, because
it's just so all-encompassing. You can't you can't just half
ass it. But I think wow, that's what I
do. One of the most relaxing things
I do and I think is Harlow and Iwill just drive, right, Like we

(01:06:18):
just drive. It's, I know it's hilarious
because I'm like destroying my car, which I'm kind of OK with,
but I love, I love that that's like our, our thing, you know,
like it's our thing to do. And then we can just, and we
actually like bounce a lot of ideas back and forth off each
other. Which do you guys talk a lot?
We talk a lot. Music, son.
Yeah, sometimes, yeah, usually the beginning of the trip, like

(01:06:40):
we'll listen to I mean, she loves MF Doom.
Oh God, I raised such a good kid.
She loves like MF Doom and hip hop and some K pop.
I don't know if she still likes hip hop that much, but I'll
I'll, I'll listen to the fuck out of like Elliot and G Dragon
and all that stuff. So.
That's cute. It it's nice to hear that you
guys talk a lot because like I, I love my parents, but growing

(01:07:04):
up I feel like we didn't talk that much.
Yeah, of course. Why would you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like that.
At least that's what my mom would say.
She's like, yeah, why do you want to talk about this?
You know, true. But sometimes, like, I don't
know about you, but sometimes I think back on, I'll think back
on the way I grew up. I'm like, did did other kids

(01:07:25):
grow up like that? And I kind of like kind of
question it. There's some things I'm just
like, whoa, if I say this out loud, that kind of sounds like a
it was abuse or neglect. Maybe we'll just hold on to
that. Maybe we'll circle back to that
one later. You.
Know I mean OK so it's kind of funny because yeah I was
scrolling through social media on like reels or something and I

(01:07:47):
get fed a lot of parent content Oh yeah. 1 was like, kids have
this generation and it's like this baby having like a spa day,
like they're just like pamperingit.
And then kids from my generation, it's like this woman
scrubbing her baby all rough andlike just it, it just cracked me
up because not that my parents were that rough with me, but in

(01:08:08):
comparison, yeah, I mean. It's just different.
It's so it's just different because there there's sounds
like, I think Harlow asked me some questions.
She was like, Oh, yeah, it was, it was on the subject of like
staying home alone. And she's like, yeah, you know,
Dad, I'm, I'm like, I'm like 13.You know, I could, I could stay
home for a few hours by myself and I was like, yeah, I guess

(01:08:30):
you're right. She's like, when did your mom,
when did grandma leave you home alone by yourself?
And I was like, oh man, it's not.
I got to go down this road. You know, I'm like, look, it
have all my fingers anyways. No, you're not going to stay
home alone. You know, like the, there's no
sharp objects in this room. You know, I'm like.

(01:08:50):
Different times. Different time, but but also
it's like the resiliency of kidsthese days.
I wonder if they could, they would make it.
I don't think they make it. I don't think they make it, man.
I don't think they make it. Yeah.
Have you made it this far in theepisode, Joyce?
And I want to say thank you. Yes.
Thank you so much. We really, really appreciate

(01:09:13):
everybody tuning in, dropping a like following on all the on all
of our episodes and stuff like that.
And we are a small business podcast at the back of a small
business with a small business owner and a baby and a Terence.
So thank you so much for listening.

(01:09:35):
Goodbye until next time. All right.
Bye, Joyce. I'll see you then.
Hey guys, you're listening to WeAll Look Alike, a podcast about
Han and Joyce's experiences running business here in
Portland, their life, and a critique on what's happening in
the world. If you want to support, you can
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(01:09:56):
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Hope you like the rest of this episode.