February 9, 2025 • 30 mins
Some hobbies make you stronger, more confident, and naturally more attractive—others, well… not so much. In this episode, we debate which hobbies actually help you in life and dating, why certain skills make a difference, and whether gaming, salsa, or fixing a sink gets you more points. Plus, we get into why having just a little bit of "gay energy" might actually work in your favor.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
I am so excited about today's topic. Welcome in another What Your Dad Didn't Teach You. I am joined by...
(00:07):
Dan de Ram.
Dan de Ram. What are we talking about then?
About hobbies and interests that make you more attractive.
Hell yeah. There's a whole bunch of hobbies and interests, passions that you could have as a guy.
Some of them help you more along the way, help you get better results in your whole dating life than others.
Dan and I are going to spar about this topic and pretty much by the end we'll have the...
(00:32):
let's say the top three best hobbies or interests a guy could have.
I think we should think about top three best for when you want hookups and top three best for when you're looking for that serious long-term relationship.
Gotcha. Yeah. I mean they'll be close but yeah they are different and maybe also the worst.
The worst. Yeah.
What hobby and interest just makes you completely unappealing to women.
(00:52):
I mean it's instantly thinking about World of Warcraft but...
I want to say that too. This gaming.
That's for later. Yeah.
Well actually I am... we're recording this in South Africa and I was hanging out with two girls earlier.
Very very beautiful girls.
One of the guys on the email list, one of them... there is a photo in the email list but one of them is some bikini cover model and the other one's her...
(01:16):
not an identical twin but they look very similar.
For her the biggest red flags are excessive drinking or not the biggest red flags but like...
you can't call drinking a hobby or an interest but you can call gaming and hobby or an interest and that was for her.
The deal breakers was excessive drinking and guys who do gaming.
Really? Yeah. I've heard it more often too. I completely disagree by the way but I know quite some girls think like that.
(01:41):
Yeah. Interestingly enough I used to date one of these girls and when I told the story to another friend of mine,
knowledgeable guy about dating, who knows both of us, he's like oh man...
it was dating. Gaming was a big issue in her last relationship that ended recently and that's why she's so negative about it.
But he said I'm sure that if she would date you she'd be fine with the dating because it's just...
(02:06):
you know when you fall out of love with your partner and you find all these things to blame why...
why the direction is gone but that wasn't really the cause of it.
But then it's like yeah look at him, he's drinking and gaming.
But if that guy still had his life together and he did a whole bunch of things,
had a whole bunch of things going for him that are attractive for her,
then the fact that he plays two hours of FIFA with the boys every now and then wouldn't be an issue.
(02:29):
Absolutely. Well there's just many guys who like to get into the super mindless zone and I am definitely one of them.
I love some games and just to be mindless and don't think and just play the stupid thing right?
But yeah some women have this experience with this dude that's just...
please call it duty for eight hours straight or just drinks or smokes weed with the buddies every night
(02:55):
and then lack of progression really starts to bother her because girls often just have this
where are things going kind of thing where guys then just stand still and then that really
starts to bother them. So that's more it's like you said the previous relationship made it more painful.
Yeah that's now she has an alarm bell in her head whenever she sees that a guy is doing some gaming.
(03:18):
She's like oh I've had that before it comes with this complete package and the complete package is not good.
But hey I honestly think let's say girls dating you Dan, you love to play some risk.
Yeah. Fucking boring but okay you like it. For the listener Dan's actually pretty good at this
and got featured on the biggest risk YouTube channel the other day. You were ecstatic.
Yeah yeah yeah I was super happy.
(03:39):
And you know what's interesting that I think of it your girlfriend was ecstatic with you.
She was celebrating for you. Yeah it was cute. It's cute but so there again it's
this gaming hobby is not bothering her. It's no issue whatsoever.
And that's the point that I wanted to make it's you also go to the gym you're pretty much hitting
your record physique around this period. You wake up early to go to the gym you're doing this
(04:02):
cold plunges now just to try something new. You're changing your diet. You're doing a lot of work.
You're just doing a lot of your girlfriend can see okay this guy is progressing.
Right yeah. Moving towards goals and then who gives a shit if you do some gaming.
Yeah or smoke weed or whatever your thing is. I guess it will be harder for me to smoke weed with
it but whatever your mindless stupid guy thing is right. We all have that balance.
(04:26):
Yeah so yeah what is attractive then. Yeah what is attractive. I thought about a few
today and I think one of one of them is going to score really high and anyone that wants to
get better at dating should look into this one. Whether you want to hook up a relationship.
For both really good but I'd say specifically for hookups learning some sort of dance and of course
(04:48):
dances like salsa are going to be ideal. Word that's funny. I was instantly thinking literally
salsa but I was expecting you to think mention something else. Did you ever do a course. I
thought you'd never read into that. No no it's you do you regret it. No it's not really my jam.
I love if I would do any type of dancing it would be hip hop. I actually did a year of hip hop when
(05:10):
I was really young and a year of break dance and a year of street style or something and also me
personally women that can dance hip hop properly has to be top three maybe top two most attractive
things in the world. Oh I find that so hot. Hell yeah yes it's good that you did that like the
course. I think these dances salsa what else is there. Pashata yeah you know maybe salsa is best
(05:36):
for clubs. Yeah I think salsa in general is good. I'll tell you guys if you're looking to get better
at dating and you're not so experienced why this is really good for you to try maybe just try a
workup or a free you know to try a listen to be proficient at salsa you need to take the lead right
the guy just leads and I guess it comes to no surprise leading as a guy in dating is gonna
(06:00):
get you really far by itself probably top three most attractive trades. Yeah indeed it will get
you much more results because you're gonna lead to results I'm assuming because you're leading
so just the fact that you're doing that already doubles your whatever results because you're
actually progressing the things to something while most women won't really necessarily take the leads
(06:23):
to a hookup or a date so just doing that is so crucial. How many times I see in clients' online
texting conversations where the topic comes up and when guys do take the lead or through a detour
something is linked to the topic of leading over and over and over I see it in convos where women
(06:45):
are so grateful when guys just lead. Finally someone that makes plans finally someone that does this
it's often with words like finally I think the leading is lacking a lot in today's men and so
salsa or any similar dances great way to learn it. Second really big benefit about that is a lot of
guys are not really comfortable with physicality and in salsa you're touching all the time it's
(07:09):
intimate it's close you also learn to play more with distance yeah you take a step away you take
a step closer how does that feel how does she react to that a lot of guys are new to that so for
example in our courses there's one specific week where we focus on how to create sexual
tension and one thing that everyone is always talking about the obvious things like eye contact
(07:31):
and touch and so on but I think playing with proximity is incredibly overpowered just the fact
that you slowly come a little bit closer or stay a little bit too close for a bit or the opposite
you move away and that and uh you know your partner can feel suddenly a little bit more of
emptiness or distance literally and figuratively distant and then you come back playing with
(07:52):
proximity is so key and you're gonna get real good at that if you're a dancer. Love it love it
it's a great test also to see hey how comfortable is she with me standing a little closer now
takes some distance. Outside of dancing you mean right? Yeah absolutely well yeah outside of dancing
but I didn't think of that one I like it but there's many things in salsa that are almost
(08:15):
like a metaphor for dating the the distance the push and the pull now it's closer now it's a bit
more distance so the leading part it's where the women you know just let's go and she's just feminine
and you know it's almost like a metaphor for the whole dating process. You're very right I never
(08:37):
thought of that of that push pull thing you're literally pushing and pulling exactly how you
should be doing as well verbally and interest wise like the way you show interest and wow that's
amazing. Yeah also with leading many guys or sometimes they even get the critique oh the man leads
that must mean he's like the boss and that must mean he's better than her but just like in salsa
(09:03):
okay yeah the guy leads but you do it so the woman shines so you do it for a greater benefit
instead of just taking sure you're leading but you're leading in a way that makes her feel great
awesome that's a honestly that's a topic that can have a whole podcast about in itself because I
feel like a lot of things that are attractive traits for guys to show in dating the reason that
(09:25):
guys are not showing those traits for example leading is what you just said they are afraid
that it's some sort of it's oppressing or it's you forcing your your will on someone else and I
also had one of those beliefs until quite recently where me making choices for my girl I would struggle
with that I'm like I'll double check it whether she really wants this or not and I had to have a
(09:46):
really deep conversation with someone about this for me to realize yo this is for her benefit yeah
she'd rather have you make the choice rather than you double or triple checking whether she's okay
with the choice yeah it's sexy to just sit down in a restaurant and just tell her this is what you'll
have yeah only the appetizer because you're fat or am I doing this wrong still no triple check are
(10:12):
you completely fine with just having the little side salad because you're fat okay stupid jokes
aside I guess we agree on that any sort of dancing skill oh very quick so very definitely salsa top
tier s-tier I would say and perfect for nightclubs it's just very brief like many guys don't know
what to do in a nightclub they don't know how to dance and I'm not as I don't have these loose
(10:39):
smooth hips I am not super suave with these things and just doing a salsa course for a while
will just give you some basic moves that you can apply on hip hop and on house music and you know
in many styles of music you can apply these moves it will just make you so much more loose and up
in the club big benefit did you follow a course yeah like free because I think we can agree you're not
(11:03):
naturally a guy that is very much in control of his body no no I'm kind of clumsy yeah I've seen you
box and soccer and it's like oh okay that's not really his specialty no that is good news especially
for guys listening because I have you seen I have seen you do all sorts of salsa and dancing moves
in clubs with girls and get crazy intimate really fast and even though when I saw you do it I'm like
(11:29):
it still kind of looks clumsy to me but it didn't matter you saw the girls having a great time it's
it's way better than average because the average guy doesn't know how to do anything and in all
honestly I did the salsa one course twice because I was so shit at it and yeah then then I got a
little bit better awesome anyway we're okay we both love dancing guys do it do you have some
(11:53):
other skills that you think you have to pick one oh yeah yeah fair enough fair enough well an
interesting one and where I once I remember getting punished kind of on this one well punish is a big
word but I told this girl yeah I don't know how to cook at all and she said well that's not particularly
attractive and I remember her saying that and thinking yeah okay fair enough and I wouldn't say
(12:18):
this is a top tier skill but I do know women appreciate it yeah I'm not gonna lie I make
good money so and I don't love cooking so I prefer to eat out and take away and all that stuff lazy
guy but being able to cook something well be able to make something well that can be attractive
and I would recommend any guy to just be able to make one good cocktail and one good dish because
(12:43):
that can impress her most important skill no what do you think I have multiple opinions about this one
is a guy that can cook is always gonna score bonus points yeah and I know a guy that can cook really
well and I have seen how girls drool over huh the guy cooking more than the food even huh also depends
(13:05):
how much the girl is into food of course but in general I think it's very good I know you've seen
them that movie where asian culture is a player spread we've seen the cooking scene do you remember
that no I don't he's cooking for a girl like a surprise she's coming over to his place and he's
cooking and he's there in the apron all sexy oh yeah it's kind of naked yeah yeah and his theory
(13:26):
in the movie is like it's almost better if the food's not really good but you did put effort oh yeah
and I thought there's definitely something to it interesting I think for example a guy like you
or me we don't we don't cook no if now you are going to cook for your date or your girlfriend
and it isn't the best meal ever but it stays the and she sees that you've tried it's almost extra
(13:48):
special yeah well said well said asian and louis that's funny well with all of these skills and hobbies
interest it's if you are a top one percent it's going to get you results so you know if you're
top one percent salsa dancer yeah everybody in the whole community wants to dance with you and
(14:09):
you're amazing in any club if you're top chef of course but the way I see it's this how important
is it for the average guy and and and this is well you summarize it really well if you just put in
the effort and you try that's already enough that's already way more than most guys do but we have to
be careful there because this is about specifically which hobbies interest passions are extra useful
(14:35):
in dating and I think whatever you do in life putting just putting effort yeah in something
that you like is hot not to be confused with putting effort in the girl which is also hot
unless when done too much too early is not hot anymore but that's another topic again but let's
like not get hung up okay if you put effort in your cooking that's good sure if you put effort in
(14:56):
your day in your dancing that's good but then again putting effort in any hobby makes it extra
attractive but just the hobby in itself I think cooking is going to rank lower than dancing skill
for sure but there's definitely there's definitely to it I don't know how to cook anything it's never
it's never stopped me from living my dating life no exactly I would just recommend just know how to
(15:20):
do one good dish but I don't even think you really need to do cooking workshop what is funny though
our business partner Patrick he would always go on a date and on the first date he would mention
oh I know how to do a very good portuguese soup and oh I haven't cooked it in a while you know
what if you have the pants for it I'll bring the ingredients and next time I'll make the soup and
(15:44):
there will be his like second date plan and then he would meet up at her place of course actually
make the soup he could do it really well he doesn't cook ever at all either and that would just be his
setup for getting late basically yeah wow yeah just to have one good dish guys but often if I
would cook with girls sometimes I would just bang and then order takeaway wait wait see that again
(16:07):
I would just you know oh we're I'm gonna cook for you or we're gonna have dinner at my place and then
he would just bang and then order takeaway interesting we're gonna cook and we in that
phrase is actually someone else yes we gonna bang and then I'll use my telephone to spawn this
very mid pizza the cheapest one okay interesting another one I I wanted to talk about I'm not sure
(16:31):
I guess for some people it is really an interest or a passion but the whole handyman thing the
interest of being capable of fixing your own car the sink is leaking the the heating is broken
whatever like just the handyman thing yeah fix the car tire yeah what do you think about it
(16:51):
I think it's sexy if you're just show some width not width shows your capable show some real
world connection uh yeah it means you're not a dumbass you can save her from situations where
she's likely the most girls are not interested in fixing cars so but yeah it's it's something that's
(17:12):
very nice but how often do you really need to do those things how I see it is that it is so
stereotypical manly yeah kind of old school but it's also by default a bit rough so it adds that
real manliness to you you'll have to make your hands dirty you'll probably have to get on your knees
or crawl under somewhere you don't like you're not afraid of those things that it's all I think
(17:36):
that's all super beneficial and it turns you into this guy that is capable of fixing his own mess
like he can take care of himself whereas I think it is quite unattractive when small things break
down in your everyday life whether it's something with the computer or it is something in your house
or your car and then the girl has to find out that now you're helpless and some other man has to come
(17:59):
fix your shit fair enough yeah that's good what you said like it becomes a part of you you are
that's guy it becomes a part of your whole vibe it's also just problem solving in general which is
super hot right yeah there's a problem fuck it I'll just fix it myself and I'll use my damn bare hands
yeah that is cool I mean this is one I score probably the lowest on of all of them if I'm
(18:23):
being honest well I mean we we have worked to do on this podcast we have to find other things in the
list that we argued at because I cannot cook for shit and my girl knows this I just don't cook I refuse
I'm not a handyman even just doing this podcast setup took me a fucking shit ton of time because
I didn't get it to work again but same goes with other handyman stuff so there's no cooking
(18:45):
there's no handyman stuff and I also don't know how to do sense or any sort of dancing so I'm zero
out of three yet you and I are teaching guys how to date so yeah man it just circles back also to
the title I'm just thinking well my dad's really never taught me any of that I never got taught
any of these skills I picked up salsa on my own what is a skill you have that you think really
(19:08):
enhances your attractiveness humor good one boxing yeah let's talk about martial arts athletics in
general I think with me it's always that women have quickly noticed that I have very good control
over my body and I'm in shape and I can do things with it whether it's climb over something or run
fast or fight or kick a ball accurately I'm just a jump a big distance seeing you dumb some do some
(19:34):
like crazy little tricks where you jump over two three meter that's like six seven foot yeah let's
call it a athletic fitness I think that's good and again it ties I guess a lot of these things you
can tie into will it somehow help the woman be a better woman if she's with you so does it bring
(19:56):
extra safety does it bring comfort or security maybe financial security and the whole the whole
physical fitness brings a sense of safety for her because much like the handyman can fix shit in the
house the physically strong man can fix a bunch of other problems yeah wait very quickly how
(20:17):
how would you rate handyman as in importance it's so tough because not any single one of these things
is not any single hobby or interest is mandatory one quick thing before we go into gym my my my
mind's racing here but maybe it's too broad of a topic and for another time what I wanted to quickly
say is the handyman thing that's all quite rough and then the design thing is I would say more of a
(20:41):
feminine quality right and that made me realize something that I've been thinking about recently
is that having some really feminine qualities to a manly guy is so good there was a reel that I saw
where a woman's walking in her house and then the text said something when when a guy is slightly gay
(21:02):
and she just feigns and her hands around her head like oh my god and it said please send me 40 of
them and I checked in with as I always do I check in with some popular hot girls that I know how
do you feel about this and the general consensus seemed to be that yeah if a guy has some you know
a guy is still a guy but he has some slightly gay things to him that is so hot and then I started
(21:24):
thinking which guys do I know that do have some of that gayness to them and I I mentally ticked
off three guys in my head and all of them really had it it could be behavior wise or interest wise
or even some look wise the little earring or more of those crop top shirts that already know that I'm
also guilty of wearing but I was like damn there is definitely in the current trend a little bit
(21:46):
of gay seems to go a long way for straight guys that's so true well just being very afraid of being
gay is so gay and so non-sexy yeah to the other day I mentioned in a youtube video that I uh
oh it was about having an attractive friend that it's it's really good for your results right
(22:09):
I was making this point and then I was thinking back of one night I was out in Amsterdam we both
party me and my friend he's from a different city so he was over in Amsterdam we both didn't pull a
girl home so we walk home and he's suddenly he says hey by the way like last week I had a one night
stand here in Amsterdam and I wouldn't be surprised if she's up for something crazy so I can just call
(22:35):
her maybe you can have a freesome at your place I was like sure go and invite her so he calls her up
he says that he's in Amsterdam that they're you know yeah she can go by and he's saying but it's
kind of a group activity because my friend is here too so we end up having a freesome and then in the
comments on youtube I get a comment so you had a freesome with another dude and I was thinking
(23:00):
this guy probably thinks that's gay but saying no to sex with a girl that's super gay who gives a
fuck that there's another guy it's not like I'm sucking off my friends while fingering this girl
or something yeah fuck I mean if that's not your thing guys by all means don't do it I think that's
funny I have no issues with that whatsoever but it's also yeah just being afraid of this gayness
(23:23):
come on I think it could be intimidating for guys that have very little experience with fair girls
all right that's fair but again when you tell the story I quickly run a list in my head okay
10 guys that I know or five guys that I know that are really good with girls all of them have done
the devil's threesome yeah I mean we did that like the third time I saw you or something yeah true
(23:46):
but I probably had never been to your house and suddenly we like pulled this girl together but I
guess that was kind of gay because you were sucking me off and I fingered her okay okay but that's
optional guys it's just fun right I mean it's it's I just think it's just really fun it's kind of
funny it's always a bit crazy sometimes it's clumsy sometimes it's hard but it's made money just I
(24:07):
know just fun crazy experience anyway we got sidetracked but big time guys there's a bonus
learning from this podcast being a little bit gay today is pretty damn good if if it's not
overwhelming if you're a masculine dude and then you have that touch of femininity that's
bonus points you just asked me what about the fitness thing yeah how high would you rank it how
(24:30):
important is it for you for me really high for me too 100 for me really high I think it's one of
the biggest ones long term and for hookup no shit looking jacked and your clothes fit your body better
and you have a more impressive figure that is just more present in the room yeah great I don't think
(24:50):
you need to be really big but I am not really big but but I do look athletic and I look good when
my clothes come off and I think that's more than enough yep exactly this there's quite some benefits
like your testosterone goes up you just feel a bit more strong more capable more confidence
you look hotter indeed without clothes but mostly your t-shirts just look so much better if you're
(25:13):
a bit jacked you and if if you're not then they I don't know said it this week on a coaching call
you know what it is for me it's and I made two clients in a group call stand up to show the
difference to everyone in a non-bullying way but one guy was skinnier and one was more not even really
big but just just enough and with the skinny guy the north they were both wearing a normal round
(25:36):
neck t-shirt with the skinny guy he's just wearing the t-shirt and that's it but with the guy who has
a bit more volume the little detail that makes it so good is that the chest fills up the upper part
of the t-shirt and then the shirt drapes off of the chest but it's not touching your stomach and that
is such a good look do you know what I mean absolutely yeah and I told the client like hey
(25:59):
can you touch your stomach now the one who has a bit more volume and so you see as he tries to touch
the stomach that the t-shirt has to go back a couple centimeters or what is that I mean sure to
whatever for the Americans I think that is such a good look there's a solid body there and the
shirt sort of just drapes around it nicely whereas with skinny guys it's I don't know man I just don't
(26:24):
think it's a very manly look to be so skinny it's some guys can rock it well I've seen it
mostly they can't oh 100% some guys like what is that comedian name that we try to talk about the
other time that guy that was correct the Kardashian you mean yeah and was he also not with Megan
Fox back in the day he has a whole bunch of Steven no David Peter whatever some guy I can
(26:50):
he's a big dick and it also actually someone in the in the comments on Spotify was you mean
this comedian I was like oh that's right I mean that guy and now I forgot again Davidson or something
Pete Davidson oh yeah I think so yeah so that guy very skinny but then again it is because he has that
whole rock star look under slept bags under his eyes yeah maybe have some tattoos exactly but in
(27:14):
general fitness for plenty of reasons it's definitely top three for hookups and for relationships
pretty good one okay another one let's because so the fitness both of you hit finally we have
one that we hit we were one in three I mean one win three losses so one in how would you rank
(27:34):
I'll bring up one knowing a lot about sports since many guys are quite sports freaks maybe it's
soccer maybe it's American football whatever your thing is not very important no I would say so too
yeah but again I'm recent the effect is kicking in and I also just had a guy on the call and he's
a really big fan of one specific team of some sport I think it was the the bills or something
(27:59):
I don't even know what sports they play but I've seen multiple hinge conversations where
him where he kicks it off because a girl accidentally also loves this team and did you see the last
game oh my god I was so nervous in the fourth quarter or whatever and that's how they get the
ball rolling yeah but that is just the power of commonalities and as long as you're into something
you'll find people that are into the same thing and then you have the commonality but it doesn't
(28:22):
necessarily have to be a sport sure it is generally seen as manly for guys to be into sports but I
don't think it's necessarily better to be into sports than for example music yeah absolutely
music might be better even though depends if you're very much into metal music it's also very
unlikely the girl loves it but yeah I would just say not that big of a benefit also not that big
(28:48):
of a downside unless you're completely obsessed then she might think come on dude be the guy on
the field simply instead of the guy just cheering that's a good point reminds me of the tier list
that we made tier list videos for women with red flags and we both you made one for your
dutch channel and I made one for my english channel but we both agreed that when someone is so obsessed
(29:10):
about something that that becomes their whole personality that is quite a red flag and we
were speaking about the boss babe or the mom that is just a mom or the fitness girl that
everything she does is the gym journey I am and if you're you as a guy because we know some of
those guys right it's just the guy that is an extreme fan of that one sports but that really
(29:33):
takes up half his life not not the best it's one dimensional okay what's another hobby or
interest quick intermission guys due to me not being a handyman at all we had some technical
difficulties and had to start this podcast later and now we're out of time but I feel like there's
so many more interest hobbies passions to describe and we have only covered a small part of the big
(29:55):
ones that can be really helpful for guys so we'll probably talk about this in a second part if you
want to hear a second part of course let us know in the comments it's or whatever you want to let
us know it's always useful then I enjoyed this conversation me too was great give the listener
a juicy kiss see you next time guys
I am so excited about today's topic. Welcome in another What Your Dad Didn't Teach You. I am joined by...
(00:07):
Dan de Ram.
Dan de Ram. What are we talking about then?
About hobbies and interests that make you more attractive.
Hell yeah. There's a whole bunch of hobbies and interests, passions that you could have as a guy.
Some of them help you more along the way, help you get better results in your whole dating life than others.
Dan and I are going to spar about this topic and pretty much by the end we'll have the...
(00:32):
let's say the top three best hobbies or interests a guy could have.
I think we should think about top three best for when you want hookups and top three best for when you're looking for that serious long-term relationship.
Gotcha. Yeah. I mean they'll be close but yeah they are different and maybe also the worst.
The worst. Yeah.
What hobby and interest just makes you completely unappealing to women.
(00:52):
I mean it's instantly thinking about World of Warcraft but...
I want to say that too. This gaming.
That's for later. Yeah.
Well actually I am... we're recording this in South Africa and I was hanging out with two girls earlier.
Very very beautiful girls.
One of the guys on the email list, one of them... there is a photo in the email list but one of them is some bikini cover model and the other one's her...
(01:16):
not an identical twin but they look very similar.
For her the biggest red flags are excessive drinking or not the biggest red flags but like...
you can't call drinking a hobby or an interest but you can call gaming and hobby or an interest and that was for her.
The deal breakers was excessive drinking and guys who do gaming.
Really? Yeah. I've heard it more often too. I completely disagree by the way but I know quite some girls think like that.
(01:41):
Yeah. Interestingly enough I used to date one of these girls and when I told the story to another friend of mine,
knowledgeable guy about dating, who knows both of us, he's like oh man...
it was dating. Gaming was a big issue in her last relationship that ended recently and that's why she's so negative about it.
But he said I'm sure that if she would date you she'd be fine with the dating because it's just...
(02:06):
you know when you fall out of love with your partner and you find all these things to blame why...
why the direction is gone but that wasn't really the cause of it.
But then it's like yeah look at him, he's drinking and gaming.
But if that guy still had his life together and he did a whole bunch of things,
had a whole bunch of things going for him that are attractive for her,
then the fact that he plays two hours of FIFA with the boys every now and then wouldn't be an issue.
(02:29):
Absolutely. Well there's just many guys who like to get into the super mindless zone and I am definitely one of them.
I love some games and just to be mindless and don't think and just play the stupid thing right?
But yeah some women have this experience with this dude that's just...
please call it duty for eight hours straight or just drinks or smokes weed with the buddies every night
(02:55):
and then lack of progression really starts to bother her because girls often just have this
where are things going kind of thing where guys then just stand still and then that really
starts to bother them. So that's more it's like you said the previous relationship made it more painful.
Yeah that's now she has an alarm bell in her head whenever she sees that a guy is doing some gaming.
(03:18):
She's like oh I've had that before it comes with this complete package and the complete package is not good.
But hey I honestly think let's say girls dating you Dan, you love to play some risk.
Yeah. Fucking boring but okay you like it. For the listener Dan's actually pretty good at this
and got featured on the biggest risk YouTube channel the other day. You were ecstatic.
Yeah yeah yeah I was super happy.
(03:39):
And you know what's interesting that I think of it your girlfriend was ecstatic with you.
She was celebrating for you. Yeah it was cute. It's cute but so there again it's
this gaming hobby is not bothering her. It's no issue whatsoever.
And that's the point that I wanted to make it's you also go to the gym you're pretty much hitting
your record physique around this period. You wake up early to go to the gym you're doing this
(04:02):
cold plunges now just to try something new. You're changing your diet. You're doing a lot of work.
You're just doing a lot of your girlfriend can see okay this guy is progressing.
Right yeah. Moving towards goals and then who gives a shit if you do some gaming.
Yeah or smoke weed or whatever your thing is. I guess it will be harder for me to smoke weed with
it but whatever your mindless stupid guy thing is right. We all have that balance.
(04:26):
Yeah so yeah what is attractive then. Yeah what is attractive. I thought about a few
today and I think one of one of them is going to score really high and anyone that wants to
get better at dating should look into this one. Whether you want to hook up a relationship.
For both really good but I'd say specifically for hookups learning some sort of dance and of course
(04:48):
dances like salsa are going to be ideal. Word that's funny. I was instantly thinking literally
salsa but I was expecting you to think mention something else. Did you ever do a course. I
thought you'd never read into that. No no it's you do you regret it. No it's not really my jam.
I love if I would do any type of dancing it would be hip hop. I actually did a year of hip hop when
(05:10):
I was really young and a year of break dance and a year of street style or something and also me
personally women that can dance hip hop properly has to be top three maybe top two most attractive
things in the world. Oh I find that so hot. Hell yeah yes it's good that you did that like the
course. I think these dances salsa what else is there. Pashata yeah you know maybe salsa is best
(05:36):
for clubs. Yeah I think salsa in general is good. I'll tell you guys if you're looking to get better
at dating and you're not so experienced why this is really good for you to try maybe just try a
workup or a free you know to try a listen to be proficient at salsa you need to take the lead right
the guy just leads and I guess it comes to no surprise leading as a guy in dating is gonna
(06:00):
get you really far by itself probably top three most attractive trades. Yeah indeed it will get
you much more results because you're gonna lead to results I'm assuming because you're leading
so just the fact that you're doing that already doubles your whatever results because you're
actually progressing the things to something while most women won't really necessarily take the leads
(06:23):
to a hookup or a date so just doing that is so crucial. How many times I see in clients' online
texting conversations where the topic comes up and when guys do take the lead or through a detour
something is linked to the topic of leading over and over and over I see it in convos where women
(06:45):
are so grateful when guys just lead. Finally someone that makes plans finally someone that does this
it's often with words like finally I think the leading is lacking a lot in today's men and so
salsa or any similar dances great way to learn it. Second really big benefit about that is a lot of
guys are not really comfortable with physicality and in salsa you're touching all the time it's
(07:09):
intimate it's close you also learn to play more with distance yeah you take a step away you take
a step closer how does that feel how does she react to that a lot of guys are new to that so for
example in our courses there's one specific week where we focus on how to create sexual
tension and one thing that everyone is always talking about the obvious things like eye contact
(07:31):
and touch and so on but I think playing with proximity is incredibly overpowered just the fact
that you slowly come a little bit closer or stay a little bit too close for a bit or the opposite
you move away and that and uh you know your partner can feel suddenly a little bit more of
emptiness or distance literally and figuratively distant and then you come back playing with
(07:52):
proximity is so key and you're gonna get real good at that if you're a dancer. Love it love it
it's a great test also to see hey how comfortable is she with me standing a little closer now
takes some distance. Outside of dancing you mean right? Yeah absolutely well yeah outside of dancing
but I didn't think of that one I like it but there's many things in salsa that are almost
(08:15):
like a metaphor for dating the the distance the push and the pull now it's closer now it's a bit
more distance so the leading part it's where the women you know just let's go and she's just feminine
and you know it's almost like a metaphor for the whole dating process. You're very right I never
(08:37):
thought of that of that push pull thing you're literally pushing and pulling exactly how you
should be doing as well verbally and interest wise like the way you show interest and wow that's
amazing. Yeah also with leading many guys or sometimes they even get the critique oh the man leads
that must mean he's like the boss and that must mean he's better than her but just like in salsa
(09:03):
okay yeah the guy leads but you do it so the woman shines so you do it for a greater benefit
instead of just taking sure you're leading but you're leading in a way that makes her feel great
awesome that's a honestly that's a topic that can have a whole podcast about in itself because I
feel like a lot of things that are attractive traits for guys to show in dating the reason that
(09:25):
guys are not showing those traits for example leading is what you just said they are afraid
that it's some sort of it's oppressing or it's you forcing your your will on someone else and I
also had one of those beliefs until quite recently where me making choices for my girl I would struggle
with that I'm like I'll double check it whether she really wants this or not and I had to have a
(09:46):
really deep conversation with someone about this for me to realize yo this is for her benefit yeah
she'd rather have you make the choice rather than you double or triple checking whether she's okay
with the choice yeah it's sexy to just sit down in a restaurant and just tell her this is what you'll
have yeah only the appetizer because you're fat or am I doing this wrong still no triple check are
(10:12):
you completely fine with just having the little side salad because you're fat okay stupid jokes
aside I guess we agree on that any sort of dancing skill oh very quick so very definitely salsa top
tier s-tier I would say and perfect for nightclubs it's just very brief like many guys don't know
what to do in a nightclub they don't know how to dance and I'm not as I don't have these loose
(10:39):
smooth hips I am not super suave with these things and just doing a salsa course for a while
will just give you some basic moves that you can apply on hip hop and on house music and you know
in many styles of music you can apply these moves it will just make you so much more loose and up
in the club big benefit did you follow a course yeah like free because I think we can agree you're not
(11:03):
naturally a guy that is very much in control of his body no no I'm kind of clumsy yeah I've seen you
box and soccer and it's like oh okay that's not really his specialty no that is good news especially
for guys listening because I have you seen I have seen you do all sorts of salsa and dancing moves
in clubs with girls and get crazy intimate really fast and even though when I saw you do it I'm like
(11:29):
it still kind of looks clumsy to me but it didn't matter you saw the girls having a great time it's
it's way better than average because the average guy doesn't know how to do anything and in all
honestly I did the salsa one course twice because I was so shit at it and yeah then then I got a
little bit better awesome anyway we're okay we both love dancing guys do it do you have some
(11:53):
other skills that you think you have to pick one oh yeah yeah fair enough fair enough well an
interesting one and where I once I remember getting punished kind of on this one well punish is a big
word but I told this girl yeah I don't know how to cook at all and she said well that's not particularly
attractive and I remember her saying that and thinking yeah okay fair enough and I wouldn't say
(12:18):
this is a top tier skill but I do know women appreciate it yeah I'm not gonna lie I make
good money so and I don't love cooking so I prefer to eat out and take away and all that stuff lazy
guy but being able to cook something well be able to make something well that can be attractive
and I would recommend any guy to just be able to make one good cocktail and one good dish because
(12:43):
that can impress her most important skill no what do you think I have multiple opinions about this one
is a guy that can cook is always gonna score bonus points yeah and I know a guy that can cook really
well and I have seen how girls drool over huh the guy cooking more than the food even huh also depends
(13:05):
how much the girl is into food of course but in general I think it's very good I know you've seen
them that movie where asian culture is a player spread we've seen the cooking scene do you remember
that no I don't he's cooking for a girl like a surprise she's coming over to his place and he's
cooking and he's there in the apron all sexy oh yeah it's kind of naked yeah yeah and his theory
(13:26):
in the movie is like it's almost better if the food's not really good but you did put effort oh yeah
and I thought there's definitely something to it interesting I think for example a guy like you
or me we don't we don't cook no if now you are going to cook for your date or your girlfriend
and it isn't the best meal ever but it stays the and she sees that you've tried it's almost extra
(13:48):
special yeah well said well said asian and louis that's funny well with all of these skills and hobbies
interest it's if you are a top one percent it's going to get you results so you know if you're
top one percent salsa dancer yeah everybody in the whole community wants to dance with you and
(14:09):
you're amazing in any club if you're top chef of course but the way I see it's this how important
is it for the average guy and and and this is well you summarize it really well if you just put in
the effort and you try that's already enough that's already way more than most guys do but we have to
be careful there because this is about specifically which hobbies interest passions are extra useful
(14:35):
in dating and I think whatever you do in life putting just putting effort yeah in something
that you like is hot not to be confused with putting effort in the girl which is also hot
unless when done too much too early is not hot anymore but that's another topic again but let's
like not get hung up okay if you put effort in your cooking that's good sure if you put effort in
(14:56):
your day in your dancing that's good but then again putting effort in any hobby makes it extra
attractive but just the hobby in itself I think cooking is going to rank lower than dancing skill
for sure but there's definitely there's definitely to it I don't know how to cook anything it's never
it's never stopped me from living my dating life no exactly I would just recommend just know how to
(15:20):
do one good dish but I don't even think you really need to do cooking workshop what is funny though
our business partner Patrick he would always go on a date and on the first date he would mention
oh I know how to do a very good portuguese soup and oh I haven't cooked it in a while you know
what if you have the pants for it I'll bring the ingredients and next time I'll make the soup and
(15:44):
there will be his like second date plan and then he would meet up at her place of course actually
make the soup he could do it really well he doesn't cook ever at all either and that would just be his
setup for getting late basically yeah wow yeah just to have one good dish guys but often if I
would cook with girls sometimes I would just bang and then order takeaway wait wait see that again
(16:07):
I would just you know oh we're I'm gonna cook for you or we're gonna have dinner at my place and then
he would just bang and then order takeaway interesting we're gonna cook and we in that
phrase is actually someone else yes we gonna bang and then I'll use my telephone to spawn this
very mid pizza the cheapest one okay interesting another one I I wanted to talk about I'm not sure
(16:31):
I guess for some people it is really an interest or a passion but the whole handyman thing the
interest of being capable of fixing your own car the sink is leaking the the heating is broken
whatever like just the handyman thing yeah fix the car tire yeah what do you think about it
(16:51):
I think it's sexy if you're just show some width not width shows your capable show some real
world connection uh yeah it means you're not a dumbass you can save her from situations where
she's likely the most girls are not interested in fixing cars so but yeah it's it's something that's
(17:12):
very nice but how often do you really need to do those things how I see it is that it is so
stereotypical manly yeah kind of old school but it's also by default a bit rough so it adds that
real manliness to you you'll have to make your hands dirty you'll probably have to get on your knees
or crawl under somewhere you don't like you're not afraid of those things that it's all I think
(17:36):
that's all super beneficial and it turns you into this guy that is capable of fixing his own mess
like he can take care of himself whereas I think it is quite unattractive when small things break
down in your everyday life whether it's something with the computer or it is something in your house
or your car and then the girl has to find out that now you're helpless and some other man has to come
(17:59):
fix your shit fair enough yeah that's good what you said like it becomes a part of you you are
that's guy it becomes a part of your whole vibe it's also just problem solving in general which is
super hot right yeah there's a problem fuck it I'll just fix it myself and I'll use my damn bare hands
yeah that is cool I mean this is one I score probably the lowest on of all of them if I'm
(18:23):
being honest well I mean we we have worked to do on this podcast we have to find other things in the
list that we argued at because I cannot cook for shit and my girl knows this I just don't cook I refuse
I'm not a handyman even just doing this podcast setup took me a fucking shit ton of time because
I didn't get it to work again but same goes with other handyman stuff so there's no cooking
(18:45):
there's no handyman stuff and I also don't know how to do sense or any sort of dancing so I'm zero
out of three yet you and I are teaching guys how to date so yeah man it just circles back also to
the title I'm just thinking well my dad's really never taught me any of that I never got taught
any of these skills I picked up salsa on my own what is a skill you have that you think really
(19:08):
enhances your attractiveness humor good one boxing yeah let's talk about martial arts athletics in
general I think with me it's always that women have quickly noticed that I have very good control
over my body and I'm in shape and I can do things with it whether it's climb over something or run
fast or fight or kick a ball accurately I'm just a jump a big distance seeing you dumb some do some
(19:34):
like crazy little tricks where you jump over two three meter that's like six seven foot yeah let's
call it a athletic fitness I think that's good and again it ties I guess a lot of these things you
can tie into will it somehow help the woman be a better woman if she's with you so does it bring
(19:56):
extra safety does it bring comfort or security maybe financial security and the whole the whole
physical fitness brings a sense of safety for her because much like the handyman can fix shit in the
house the physically strong man can fix a bunch of other problems yeah wait very quickly how
(20:17):
how would you rate handyman as in importance it's so tough because not any single one of these things
is not any single hobby or interest is mandatory one quick thing before we go into gym my my my
mind's racing here but maybe it's too broad of a topic and for another time what I wanted to quickly
say is the handyman thing that's all quite rough and then the design thing is I would say more of a
(20:41):
feminine quality right and that made me realize something that I've been thinking about recently
is that having some really feminine qualities to a manly guy is so good there was a reel that I saw
where a woman's walking in her house and then the text said something when when a guy is slightly gay
(21:02):
and she just feigns and her hands around her head like oh my god and it said please send me 40 of
them and I checked in with as I always do I check in with some popular hot girls that I know how
do you feel about this and the general consensus seemed to be that yeah if a guy has some you know
a guy is still a guy but he has some slightly gay things to him that is so hot and then I started
(21:24):
thinking which guys do I know that do have some of that gayness to them and I I mentally ticked
off three guys in my head and all of them really had it it could be behavior wise or interest wise
or even some look wise the little earring or more of those crop top shirts that already know that I'm
also guilty of wearing but I was like damn there is definitely in the current trend a little bit
(21:46):
of gay seems to go a long way for straight guys that's so true well just being very afraid of being
gay is so gay and so non-sexy yeah to the other day I mentioned in a youtube video that I uh
oh it was about having an attractive friend that it's it's really good for your results right
(22:09):
I was making this point and then I was thinking back of one night I was out in Amsterdam we both
party me and my friend he's from a different city so he was over in Amsterdam we both didn't pull a
girl home so we walk home and he's suddenly he says hey by the way like last week I had a one night
stand here in Amsterdam and I wouldn't be surprised if she's up for something crazy so I can just call
(22:35):
her maybe you can have a freesome at your place I was like sure go and invite her so he calls her up
he says that he's in Amsterdam that they're you know yeah she can go by and he's saying but it's
kind of a group activity because my friend is here too so we end up having a freesome and then in the
comments on youtube I get a comment so you had a freesome with another dude and I was thinking
(23:00):
this guy probably thinks that's gay but saying no to sex with a girl that's super gay who gives a
fuck that there's another guy it's not like I'm sucking off my friends while fingering this girl
or something yeah fuck I mean if that's not your thing guys by all means don't do it I think that's
funny I have no issues with that whatsoever but it's also yeah just being afraid of this gayness
(23:23):
come on I think it could be intimidating for guys that have very little experience with fair girls
all right that's fair but again when you tell the story I quickly run a list in my head okay
10 guys that I know or five guys that I know that are really good with girls all of them have done
the devil's threesome yeah I mean we did that like the third time I saw you or something yeah true
(23:46):
but I probably had never been to your house and suddenly we like pulled this girl together but I
guess that was kind of gay because you were sucking me off and I fingered her okay okay but that's
optional guys it's just fun right I mean it's it's I just think it's just really fun it's kind of
funny it's always a bit crazy sometimes it's clumsy sometimes it's hard but it's made money just I
(24:07):
know just fun crazy experience anyway we got sidetracked but big time guys there's a bonus
learning from this podcast being a little bit gay today is pretty damn good if if it's not
overwhelming if you're a masculine dude and then you have that touch of femininity that's
bonus points you just asked me what about the fitness thing yeah how high would you rank it how
(24:30):
important is it for you for me really high for me too 100 for me really high I think it's one of
the biggest ones long term and for hookup no shit looking jacked and your clothes fit your body better
and you have a more impressive figure that is just more present in the room yeah great I don't think
(24:50):
you need to be really big but I am not really big but but I do look athletic and I look good when
my clothes come off and I think that's more than enough yep exactly this there's quite some benefits
like your testosterone goes up you just feel a bit more strong more capable more confidence
you look hotter indeed without clothes but mostly your t-shirts just look so much better if you're
(25:13):
a bit jacked you and if if you're not then they I don't know said it this week on a coaching call
you know what it is for me it's and I made two clients in a group call stand up to show the
difference to everyone in a non-bullying way but one guy was skinnier and one was more not even really
big but just just enough and with the skinny guy the north they were both wearing a normal round
(25:36):
neck t-shirt with the skinny guy he's just wearing the t-shirt and that's it but with the guy who has
a bit more volume the little detail that makes it so good is that the chest fills up the upper part
of the t-shirt and then the shirt drapes off of the chest but it's not touching your stomach and that
is such a good look do you know what I mean absolutely yeah and I told the client like hey
(25:59):
can you touch your stomach now the one who has a bit more volume and so you see as he tries to touch
the stomach that the t-shirt has to go back a couple centimeters or what is that I mean sure to
whatever for the Americans I think that is such a good look there's a solid body there and the
shirt sort of just drapes around it nicely whereas with skinny guys it's I don't know man I just don't
(26:24):
think it's a very manly look to be so skinny it's some guys can rock it well I've seen it
mostly they can't oh 100% some guys like what is that comedian name that we try to talk about the
other time that guy that was correct the Kardashian you mean yeah and was he also not with Megan
Fox back in the day he has a whole bunch of Steven no David Peter whatever some guy I can
(26:50):
he's a big dick and it also actually someone in the in the comments on Spotify was you mean
this comedian I was like oh that's right I mean that guy and now I forgot again Davidson or something
Pete Davidson oh yeah I think so yeah so that guy very skinny but then again it is because he has that
whole rock star look under slept bags under his eyes yeah maybe have some tattoos exactly but in
(27:14):
general fitness for plenty of reasons it's definitely top three for hookups and for relationships
pretty good one okay another one let's because so the fitness both of you hit finally we have
one that we hit we were one in three I mean one win three losses so one in how would you rank
(27:34):
I'll bring up one knowing a lot about sports since many guys are quite sports freaks maybe it's
soccer maybe it's American football whatever your thing is not very important no I would say so too
yeah but again I'm recent the effect is kicking in and I also just had a guy on the call and he's
a really big fan of one specific team of some sport I think it was the the bills or something
(27:59):
I don't even know what sports they play but I've seen multiple hinge conversations where
him where he kicks it off because a girl accidentally also loves this team and did you see the last
game oh my god I was so nervous in the fourth quarter or whatever and that's how they get the
ball rolling yeah but that is just the power of commonalities and as long as you're into something
you'll find people that are into the same thing and then you have the commonality but it doesn't
(28:22):
necessarily have to be a sport sure it is generally seen as manly for guys to be into sports but I
don't think it's necessarily better to be into sports than for example music yeah absolutely
music might be better even though depends if you're very much into metal music it's also very
unlikely the girl loves it but yeah I would just say not that big of a benefit also not that big
(28:48):
of a downside unless you're completely obsessed then she might think come on dude be the guy on
the field simply instead of the guy just cheering that's a good point reminds me of the tier list
that we made tier list videos for women with red flags and we both you made one for your
dutch channel and I made one for my english channel but we both agreed that when someone is so obsessed
(29:10):
about something that that becomes their whole personality that is quite a red flag and we
were speaking about the boss babe or the mom that is just a mom or the fitness girl that
everything she does is the gym journey I am and if you're you as a guy because we know some of
those guys right it's just the guy that is an extreme fan of that one sports but that really
(29:33):
takes up half his life not not the best it's one dimensional okay what's another hobby or
interest quick intermission guys due to me not being a handyman at all we had some technical
difficulties and had to start this podcast later and now we're out of time but I feel like there's
so many more interest hobbies passions to describe and we have only covered a small part of the big
(29:55):
ones that can be really helpful for guys so we'll probably talk about this in a second part if you
want to hear a second part of course let us know in the comments it's or whatever you want to let
us know it's always useful then I enjoyed this conversation me too was great give the listener
a juicy kiss see you next time guys
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