February 14, 2025 • 40 mins
Meet Esther Gillyard proudly represents Pennsylvania, drawing strength and motivation from her beautiful teenage daughter. After becoming visually impaired in 2015 due to a traumatic eye surgery while pursuing her bachelor's in Organizational Leadership, Esther embraced significant challenges. Despite losing her legal case against the surgeons, she embarked on a transformative journey with the support of Associated Services for the Blind and Visually Impaired, now known as Vision Link.As a determined member of the National Federation of the Blind of Pennsylvania, Esther advocates passionately for herself and for other blind parents and individuals with visual impairments. She leads impactful initiatives at her church, organizing events every other month to serve and feed the homeless. Additionally, she co-leads social services for individuals with disabilities within her ministry. In a groundbreaking role, she serves as a medical assistant to her mother, becoming the first visually impaired/blind person at Harmony Home Healthcare.Esther’s immense talents shine brightly as she participated in the "Believe You Can Talent Show,” performing and marching downtown in the Disability Pride Parade, as well as gracing the stage at state conventions, national conventions, clubs, bars, and restaurants, with karaoke being her favorite. In 2022, she competed in the Miss Blind Diva pageant in Newark, New Jersey. With multiple accolades, she has earned the lifelong title of Miss Blind Diva of Pennsylvania, a distinction honored by the mayor of Newark, symbolizing her remarkable achievements.As a social media influencer and aspiring blind model, Esther is breaking barriers in the fashion industry to show that style is inclusive and belongs to everyone, sighted or not.Her mission is to inspire the world, proving that regardless of challenges, barriers, or unforeseen circumstances, anyone can live the life they truly desire!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello and welcome beautiful people to RLP is Healing. I am your host Tammy and
(00:07):
today I have the honor of speaking with the incredible Esther. Esther is someone
that I met on TikTok about three years ago and we just hit it off and knew that
we were supposed to be connected. She is a fierce advocate, a loving mother, and a
talented singer who is redefining what it means to live life without limits.
(00:33):
She's inspired by her daughter and she draws strength from love and resilience
using her voice to uplift and empower the blind community. She's a fashion
lover, a true inspiration, and living proof that no challenge or circumstance
(00:55):
can stand in the way of a life fully and beautifully lived. So get ready for this
uplifting conversation that will touch your heart and open your mind with
seeing beyond sight. Hello and welcome to RLP is Healing. I am your host Tammy
(01:19):
and today we have one of my favorite ladies on. Her name is Esther and I of
course have had the pleasure to be able to call her sis and we met on TikTok
about two or three years back and you guys get ready to hear a beautiful
(01:47):
story of blindness and empowerment. So hey Esther how are you doing today?
Hey Tammy! I'm doing great today and thank you so much for that warm welcome. I am truly honored
just to be here to tell my story and just help however I can because you know it is a journey
(02:18):
you know and it is worth you know going through and understanding this lifestyle.
Oh wow I cannot wait to hear hear about your journey Esther you know many people
(02:39):
know that my mom is legally blind and I was truly excited and honored to have you
on because I feel that your insight and your experience will be able to help me
when it comes to assisting my mom and I feel that it will be able to help anyone
(03:01):
that hears this to be able to assist in a family man assist a family member that
is legally blind blind going through a transformation in becoming not being able
to like to see you know feel a lot of us take that for granted and you know I'm
(03:27):
gonna start with what's something people would be surprised to learn about you?
Um that I really can't see and I do sing I also volunteer at my church as a leader
(03:58):
that helps the homeless. We do it once every other month on a third Friday and
it's surprising to see a blind visually impaired person organize you know giving
(04:22):
away food with you know cooking and of course I don't do it by myself I do
with a lot of the church members but it's surprising that someone who can't
see can run a kitchen and also serve the homeless I think that's something that a
(04:45):
lot of people don't think that is possible and not only that I model I'm
getting ready to model in New York City. Congratulations! And that's another
thing that is surprising for most people is to see a blind person dressed and
(05:06):
wear makeup and do graphics and all that type of stuff so yeah. I would like to
say so to the audience let me tell you Esther looks mighty fierce. She is one
fierce woman. Her makeup and things like that like you know I'll say Esther I'm a
(05:30):
little jelly because I am not that great with the makeup. So I would like to know
something and I want to make sure that it's okay for me to ask this and you can
be like no I don't want to answer. Were you born blind or did you lose your sight?
I was not born blind but I did have some vision you know issues that most people
(05:59):
have that considers they don't really consider it vision loss they may mainly
think that by fixing it with glasses that it's fine so I had some of those
type of issues but in 2015 I went in for a surgical procedure that ended up
(06:23):
causing me to be permanently legally blind and that was one of the devastating
part because I was still in college at the time going for organizational
leadership I had just graduated with associate's degree in criminal justice so
(06:47):
you know my life was just I felt like it was over because I couldn't I couldn't
see the way that they say they were gonna fix it for me to see. Oh wow in
associates in criminal justice? Yeah. That's you know that's amazing and so
(07:11):
this surgery was actually supposed to assist you to see better. Correct. I woke
up during the surgery three times while they were still cutting into me so I
was and that's that's what caused the damage because of me waking up and
(07:32):
them continue to cut into the eye causing severe damage. Okay now how did
you deal with processing being becoming blind like how did you deal with that
emotionally and even mentally for being able to process this? Well for start you
(07:56):
know I thought my life was over because I I also was dealing with a custody
battle and if anybody is aware like when you're a single mother in a custody
case going in a court system they're automatically trying to figure out who's
(08:19):
going to be best fit for the child and being having a disability such as not
being able to see has its really strong stigmas where people think that because
you can't see you can't do for a child you can't do for yourself or anything
(08:44):
and so my life was pretty much at that starting point kind of shattered
because I couldn't believe that these doctors that were supposed to fix
something caused me harm and damage and just left me to the wayside to be pretty
(09:05):
much what they say left you out for the wolves to be taken. Yes wow Esther that's
I had no I had no idea that you went through that again thank you so much for
coming on and sharing this with us with myself and the listeners. Another thing
(09:30):
that I do want to ask right now is that since you are a single mom what has
been you know one or two of the biggest challenges when it comes to being you
know legally blind and how have you been able to overcome those challenges? Well
(09:50):
I can say had I not gone to a blind center that had support groups they also
had training and honestly some may disagree in my blind community but had
my daughter not have been the age that she was my fear is that I probably
(10:17):
would have lost her completely because of the issues in our state with becoming a
parent being blind so there's like I said there's those stigmas where they
think that blind people can't do for themselves so they automatically will
(10:40):
take your child away from you. So my daughter for I guess I would say the
first couple years she was about five or six she was terrified of me it took a
while for her to come to to be comfortable around me and even me coming
(11:07):
to her school because I had to wear a blindfold that was a part of my training
for about six years to learn how to navigate with using my cane and using my
other sense sense to not rely on just part of the sight that I have left so
(11:31):
that was kind of terrifying to my child seeing her mom come to school with this
blindfold on her face every day to pick her up so I think she was about eight
years maybe seven or eight before she was comfortable with her mom being
around her. My mom had a challenge with that with the blindfold because for
(11:59):
those of you that don't know Esther and I live close enough to where my mom
actually had gone to a portion I guess a portion or a part of the program in
my area and it just so happens that we actually Esther and I just found this
(12:25):
out yesterday that the blind center that she is a part of as well is the same one
that my mom is also a part of and my mom really struggled with the with the
blind or things on she really did struggle a lot with that and you know
(12:48):
it's it was well it was a very big misconception to me I I didn't know there
was all levels like there were so many different levels of blindness mm-hmm
yeah and what's a misconception that you've noticed from people when it comes
(13:09):
to blindness I would say that the misconception is that people think that
blindness is in total darkness or that someone who wears eyeglasses is
completely sighted and that's not true you have levels of blindness where people
(13:37):
who are totally blind from just light alone where they can't make out images
it's just straight whiteness you have something called shadow where people are
kind of like ghosts like figures and that's the only way that they can see
(13:58):
people or see things I have a combination of all those different types
and I use like different equipments and that's another thing like people think
with when you're using your phone in a certain way like a magnifier oh you can
see you're fine you know and that is further from the truth another
(14:26):
misconception is people think that like in our community some say that being
totally blind is actually better than someone who is like me who's visually
impaired and the reason why is because when you're born sighted or have some
(14:48):
form of sight your mind and your your natural ability is to try to see what
you can't see oh wow wow yeah and like for me I don't have like peripheral
(15:10):
vision so it's like horse with blinders I try to use magnet metaphors that
people understand for people who are totally who are considered to be sighted
we call it we call you sighted people you know so like like a horse if you
(15:33):
think like a horse with blinders they can't see on their side they can only
see straight ahead so like for me I have to like turn my head in certain angles
to see in a 365 angle you know and I have to like try to see what I'm making
(15:56):
out because whatever that I can't see in my peripheral is completely just gone
and I'll miss it okay so I'm constantly keeping my head maybe to like the right
or left just to try to see what is there and that is that's why people who are
(16:17):
totally blind will say that it's harder for a person who's visually impaired
because over time that causes either pain headaches other issues because
you're constantly straining the eyes to try to see what it can oh you know one I
(16:38):
that I could like I was saying before I could totally see that as being a
challenge you know my mom like I was saying I do see her struggling
especially during the winter time she has such she has an even harder time
(17:01):
with my mom has retinal pigmentosis and that is from my understanding for my
inner standing this is something that is not curable so it's just something that
continues to go she continues to deal with it continues to get worse and you
(17:26):
brought up about the tools and the technologies and different things like
that I found like I will be honest I didn't wish that on my mom but there's
so many things that now like she's brought home that are pretty interesting
and pretty cool can you tell us about some of the tools and technologies that
(17:50):
you've been using that have helped you adapt so I have an iPhone and this is
also one all different types of cell phones which is called is called
voiceover and so it's like an audio descriptive where it reads everything
(18:14):
for you so like for a person who's visually impaired or even blind they can
hear things that they're touching on their phone to make like phone calls to
make to even you know make a text to anybody to even email and such another
(18:36):
thing is the zoom feature that all cell phones have which is like a it's almost
like a double tap triple tap type thing so in our world is all about tapping
well you know me you know that I'm I love the tapping so I like this sounds
(18:57):
good it's all about the tapping with the fingers on the phones because we have to
be able to hear the different gestures that the phones is suggesting for us to
use for like you know navigating the phone and those things help us to be
more accessible like everybody else to do everything like normal people do with
(19:21):
their well not normal but we're normal what everybody does on their phone
another cool thing is you know some people like well how did I do you know
websites or computers there's something called jaws you know and also zoom text
(19:41):
you know those things help like individuals like me who are totally
blind to work in businesses that jobs are supposed to provide they even have
like something called a CCTV screen reader which is right we used to have
one yeah it's almost like a big like like a TV they come in like big-sized TVs
(20:08):
yes and you could put like books and paper underneath like the like a
camera like thing and it has lights and you can change the color depending on
the the version of it because some of them are older models some of them are
our newer models I have something which is updated one I think it's like a 2024
(20:33):
version and it goes 365 in a whole room yeah like it has a camera so like if I
was in a classroom or like a college and I was like sitting on like this hot row
I can see all the way down to the professor's like board of whatever he's
(20:54):
writing whatever without even being up close because of the magnifier from the
camera and I can change the color of the the wall so he was writing in like black
ink I can change it to a different color that's another thing some some people's
vision impairment or blindness is affected by certain colors so like
(21:20):
yellow sometimes they can make it out better some of them might say yellow is
too bright so they'll tone it down to like maybe a blue or green it depends on
whatever their spectrum is of their blindness I completely understand that
because mom she can do black background with white writing mm-hmm yeah she's
(21:46):
really able to like really be able to see it correct when it's when it's got
that background wow that is so cool about being in the far being up in the
nosebleeds in the college class and be able to see it you know I'll be open I
can't even see that good like my glass thank goodness for my glasses let me
(22:07):
tell you no you know one thing I will have to say that I am truly truly I when
you told me through message that you were blind I was so surprised I had no
(22:30):
idea now of course because you don't just ask someone that but we had DM'd
each other numerous times I knew in my lives when I was doing the meditation
and you liked my videos commenting I feel that would you say that the the
(22:55):
ability to be able to live a a life fulfilled with being blind has gotten
better when it comes to technology and things yes and I believe that's the main
reason as to why the organization that hello hi I'm still here okay yeah that's
(23:23):
I think that's why the organization that we're a part of is fighting so hard
about accessibility technology because I don't think I would have been able to
even be on tech talk or do the things that I normally do without these
(23:43):
accessibility technology equipments or even the training because a lot of
blind centers or a lot of states do not even have blind centers so you have
individuals like myself or who are totally blind think that their life is
(24:04):
completely over and there's nothing else to do now they do have some
assistance and with some ophthalmology might provide something called low
vision like a low vision doctor that will analyze what your IQ T is and make
(24:26):
you legally blind but once they do that they'll just hang you a cane and say I'm
sorry and that's it and a lot of people have committed suicide because of those
things because they don't think that life can continue to go on because it's
(24:48):
not enough public information on the accessibility the advocacy and the
things that we do because we do a lot of great things I will see that so
speaking of accessibility and inclusion I would like to know what are some
(25:09):
changes that you feel need to happen in the world to be more inclusive like I
feel that our world is so ignorant even myself when it comes to the blindness
community I did not I was so impressed and so I didn't even know my head was
(25:34):
spinning when I met these amazing people in my mom's group you know what are some
things you think that could change in this world to be more inclusive I think
honestly it starts with our community to make it more public size I don't know if
(25:55):
you know that our organization partner with another blind organization to
create the Barbie the blind Barbie that was out in the news and also they
partner with NASA to try to create a new car now I know some people like I don't
(26:16):
think we want blind people driving on the road but but the way that technology
is going it's not it's not not possible you know I think it is a hundred percent
possible I think it needs to be more public size I think we need to show more
(26:38):
of the things that we're doing so that people can feel more comfortable with
the idea that blindness is just another way of life of just almost like losing
your arm and still being a human being that helps and also with our I know
(27:01):
we're dealing with a lot with our government but sadly it's not on the
ballot on the ballot enough of what people can vote for to make it more
accessible like a lot of jobs can make things like accessible like their their
(27:24):
computers with coding which is very easy to do but they don't do it because they
feel like they don't have to do it when it is in their policies to do so but
because we're not voting on these things no matter what party you belong to is
(27:44):
what's causing a lot of problems and we have to fight against ophthalmology to
not maybe against them but work with them to get them to understand that if
you mess up on our eyes doesn't mean that you can just throw us away yes and
(28:04):
that right there you know what's one and one thing that I do want to ask because
you know I I am a family member of someone in the community how can like
what can individuals like myself do to support an advocate better for
(28:24):
accessibility what can I do I will say go to the meetings go to the
conventions with your mom get you know the more she's involved in the meetings
and the more that you are involved with your mom in these meetings the more
you'll learn because then you'll meet so many people that will give you the tools
(28:50):
and resources and it could be fun because they go to different states and
you get to travel with your mom and your mom she will become more and more
confident within herself because she's gonna be surrounded by people who are
(29:10):
just like her you know for years I thought because I had a little bit of
sight there's no way I'm blind you know until I actually walked into a bus
you know and that was when I was like literally like training with my mobility
trainers I know she has to know about mobility trainer you know he was
(29:34):
laughing I mean I literally walked smack dad into a bus I'm sorry I don't mean to
laugh no it's funny now but it wasn't funny then and I'm like touching the
bus thank God the bus was literally at park like on a light or something but
(29:55):
I'm in the street touching this bus and the bus and people are yelling at my
mobility trainer like you have this girl but those moments is what I can laugh
about and in the blind community we can laugh about a lot of our struggles and
issues I mean we were in one meeting where some of us was really playing like
(30:22):
what you call the Spears with our kings in the hallway
like but those are the joy and moments that makes you feel like you're just
accepted and you're human and that no matter if you can't see well you can
still just live your life yes and I love that you know I went to one of mom's
(30:48):
groups she got to lead lead the group for the day and pick out lunch and all
that other stuff you know and I did a meditation for for the group and it was
so amazing like the experience that they had the experience that I had that it
(31:13):
was it was really a beautiful thing and speaking of meditation and you already
know it's ROP is healing you know yes it's my jam so I have a question for you
has blindness deepened your connection with yourself yes because I really have
(31:35):
to rely on my other senses now more so than anything else of you know more than
my eyes so I have to go by touch I have to go by feel and I have to go by
memory so a lot of times I'm talking to myself in my mind a lot so would you say
(31:55):
mindful meditation is something that works really well for you yes yeah yay
meditation so what's also to you what are some things that has built
resilience and inner strength in you because like you already know I think
you are and mind you we can say we could say bad words I think you are one bad
(32:21):
rich miss Queen Esther I have to say so myself because I see you doing amazing
things modeling so like what are some things that you do you know to build
that inner strength I would say well what started for me was what I when
(32:44):
people said I couldn't go out anywhere by myself after I did training for a
long time I mean it was it was over six six years with you know the blindfold I
was like you know what I would just take a walk I walk for I think it was 20 21
(33:07):
miles in one day oh wow and I completed it in one day because after my my
malpractice case when I had lost the case I was just really just devastated
because I thought within the case that I was going to regain my sight because the
(33:32):
whole goal for me was you know sue the doctors to get them to do the surgery so
my eyesight can be fixed that's another thing about being
misconception you know this misconception that these doctors you know
don't push the idea of surgery oh we're gonna fix it we're gonna fix it we're
(33:55):
gonna fix it and sometimes you have to tell yourself or tell them no I'm fine
where I'm at and that's okay to be fine where you are and it took a long time
for me to tell the doctors no because I was so afraid because these were you
(34:18):
know supposedly powerful people that are supposedly helping me and I found and
I'm not saying that it wouldn't help other people because it does help people
but I'm saying that for a person who went blind through malpractice that
sometimes you have to be okay with being the way that you are and that you have
(34:42):
to be able to speak up to say enough is enough I'm not doing anymore and that
I'm okay where I'm at and I took that walk 21 miles and when I completed it I
went to my group my support group and I said guess what guys I was somewhere by
myself see oh I love that I love that and I was just going to ask you you know
(35:10):
if you could give some advice but I feel like you just gave the best advice
believe in yourself and say hey this is where I am and I'm gonna go from here
and then you can take this what 21 mile walk by yourself by myself and I'm I
met so many people who've done things by themselves because another thing with my
(35:35):
mobility training and I believe Baltimore does the same thing where once
you're done a certain period of training they will suggest that you go somewhere
now this is where you do travel by yourself where you literally have to
either do a flight or even a train ride somewhere completely by yourself with
(36:00):
the you know the amount of training that you had this is like when you're like
way past you know the training and you're like almost like a professional
at this now like a black belt like a black belt and I really had I had to do
(36:21):
something like that where I had to go to Erie Pennsylvania by myself with a
blindfold on and my family was like excuse my friends like almost shitting
in their pants because they were like you're going where oh wow see that you
(36:43):
know what I don't know if mom's ready for that yet but she will be yes she
will be and and that's another thing just you also asked about how as a
family member can you be supportive there's gonna be times where it may
look scary to you but when we are too helpful it can prevent them from being
(37:05):
independent for themselves and by being a support is also helping yourself not
to be overly helpful but just being helpful enough where they can do things
for themselves and when they ask for help it's fine but don't help too much
because then you don't want to over cuddle them and that's something my
(37:31):
family had to learn I mean it was times they wanted to fight my mobility trainer
you know same same same I'm like I had to leave a few times I was like okay mom
I'll be back I'll see you after after you're done because I was like hmm who
are you talking to what are you having my mom do see and yeah I that they have
(38:00):
to do it because you're not relying on your sight so therefore you got to be
able to do things that may look scary to other even like walking into a bus
but it's something that you'll learn not to do again it's almost like touching
(38:23):
the fire we learned that fire is hot by touching it or being close to it and
it's the same thing when it comes down to training we have to learn how to
navigate the streets because the streets are not kind even for people who are
fully sighted yes yes when you can't see you have to be able to rely on all your
(38:46):
senses to maintain that safety for yourself and it's like fighting like a
like a fighter they have broken bows yes that is true well you know Esther I
want to tell you thank you so much for joining me and I want to let everybody
(39:07):
know hey guys you can most definitely find I like to color Queen Esther on
tick-tock you can find her on IG and you can also find her can they find you on
Facebook yes you can find her on Facebook as well and Queen what is one
(39:29):
takeaway before we before we leave today what is one takeaway that you would like
the listeners to remember the same is never judge a book by its cover I was
saying never judge a blind person by their blindness I love that I love that
(39:53):
Esther you know again thank you so much for joining me everyone thank you for
listening and we're gonna have some different takeaway notes where you can
find some resources maybe some organizations in your area and have a
beautiful evening afternoon whatever it is for you and happy healing thank you
Hello and welcome beautiful people to RLP is Healing. I am your host Tammy and
(00:07):
today I have the honor of speaking with the incredible Esther. Esther is someone
that I met on TikTok about three years ago and we just hit it off and knew that
we were supposed to be connected. She is a fierce advocate, a loving mother, and a
talented singer who is redefining what it means to live life without limits.
(00:33):
She's inspired by her daughter and she draws strength from love and resilience
using her voice to uplift and empower the blind community. She's a fashion
lover, a true inspiration, and living proof that no challenge or circumstance
(00:55):
can stand in the way of a life fully and beautifully lived. So get ready for this
uplifting conversation that will touch your heart and open your mind with
seeing beyond sight. Hello and welcome to RLP is Healing. I am your host Tammy
(01:19):
and today we have one of my favorite ladies on. Her name is Esther and I of
course have had the pleasure to be able to call her sis and we met on TikTok
about two or three years back and you guys get ready to hear a beautiful
(01:47):
story of blindness and empowerment. So hey Esther how are you doing today?
Hey Tammy! I'm doing great today and thank you so much for that warm welcome. I am truly honored
just to be here to tell my story and just help however I can because you know it is a journey
(02:18):
you know and it is worth you know going through and understanding this lifestyle.
Oh wow I cannot wait to hear hear about your journey Esther you know many people
(02:39):
know that my mom is legally blind and I was truly excited and honored to have you
on because I feel that your insight and your experience will be able to help me
when it comes to assisting my mom and I feel that it will be able to help anyone
(03:01):
that hears this to be able to assist in a family man assist a family member that
is legally blind blind going through a transformation in becoming not being able
to like to see you know feel a lot of us take that for granted and you know I'm
(03:27):
gonna start with what's something people would be surprised to learn about you?
Um that I really can't see and I do sing I also volunteer at my church as a leader
(03:58):
that helps the homeless. We do it once every other month on a third Friday and
it's surprising to see a blind visually impaired person organize you know giving
(04:22):
away food with you know cooking and of course I don't do it by myself I do
with a lot of the church members but it's surprising that someone who can't
see can run a kitchen and also serve the homeless I think that's something that a
(04:45):
lot of people don't think that is possible and not only that I model I'm
getting ready to model in New York City. Congratulations! And that's another
thing that is surprising for most people is to see a blind person dressed and
(05:06):
wear makeup and do graphics and all that type of stuff so yeah. I would like to
say so to the audience let me tell you Esther looks mighty fierce. She is one
fierce woman. Her makeup and things like that like you know I'll say Esther I'm a
(05:30):
little jelly because I am not that great with the makeup. So I would like to know
something and I want to make sure that it's okay for me to ask this and you can
be like no I don't want to answer. Were you born blind or did you lose your sight?
I was not born blind but I did have some vision you know issues that most people
(05:59):
have that considers they don't really consider it vision loss they may mainly
think that by fixing it with glasses that it's fine so I had some of those
type of issues but in 2015 I went in for a surgical procedure that ended up
(06:23):
causing me to be permanently legally blind and that was one of the devastating
part because I was still in college at the time going for organizational
leadership I had just graduated with associate's degree in criminal justice so
(06:47):
you know my life was just I felt like it was over because I couldn't I couldn't
see the way that they say they were gonna fix it for me to see. Oh wow in
associates in criminal justice? Yeah. That's you know that's amazing and so
(07:11):
this surgery was actually supposed to assist you to see better. Correct. I woke
up during the surgery three times while they were still cutting into me so I
was and that's that's what caused the damage because of me waking up and
(07:32):
them continue to cut into the eye causing severe damage. Okay now how did
you deal with processing being becoming blind like how did you deal with that
emotionally and even mentally for being able to process this? Well for start you
(07:56):
know I thought my life was over because I I also was dealing with a custody
battle and if anybody is aware like when you're a single mother in a custody
case going in a court system they're automatically trying to figure out who's
(08:19):
going to be best fit for the child and being having a disability such as not
being able to see has its really strong stigmas where people think that because
you can't see you can't do for a child you can't do for yourself or anything
(08:44):
and so my life was pretty much at that starting point kind of shattered
because I couldn't believe that these doctors that were supposed to fix
something caused me harm and damage and just left me to the wayside to be pretty
(09:05):
much what they say left you out for the wolves to be taken. Yes wow Esther that's
I had no I had no idea that you went through that again thank you so much for
coming on and sharing this with us with myself and the listeners. Another thing
(09:30):
that I do want to ask right now is that since you are a single mom what has
been you know one or two of the biggest challenges when it comes to being you
know legally blind and how have you been able to overcome those challenges? Well
(09:50):
I can say had I not gone to a blind center that had support groups they also
had training and honestly some may disagree in my blind community but had
my daughter not have been the age that she was my fear is that I probably
(10:17):
would have lost her completely because of the issues in our state with becoming a
parent being blind so there's like I said there's those stigmas where they
think that blind people can't do for themselves so they automatically will
(10:40):
take your child away from you. So my daughter for I guess I would say the
first couple years she was about five or six she was terrified of me it took a
while for her to come to to be comfortable around me and even me coming
(11:07):
to her school because I had to wear a blindfold that was a part of my training
for about six years to learn how to navigate with using my cane and using my
other sense sense to not rely on just part of the sight that I have left so
(11:31):
that was kind of terrifying to my child seeing her mom come to school with this
blindfold on her face every day to pick her up so I think she was about eight
years maybe seven or eight before she was comfortable with her mom being
around her. My mom had a challenge with that with the blindfold because for
(11:59):
those of you that don't know Esther and I live close enough to where my mom
actually had gone to a portion I guess a portion or a part of the program in
my area and it just so happens that we actually Esther and I just found this
(12:25):
out yesterday that the blind center that she is a part of as well is the same one
that my mom is also a part of and my mom really struggled with the with the
blind or things on she really did struggle a lot with that and you know
(12:48):
it's it was well it was a very big misconception to me I I didn't know there
was all levels like there were so many different levels of blindness mm-hmm
yeah and what's a misconception that you've noticed from people when it comes
(13:09):
to blindness I would say that the misconception is that people think that
blindness is in total darkness or that someone who wears eyeglasses is
completely sighted and that's not true you have levels of blindness where people
(13:37):
who are totally blind from just light alone where they can't make out images
it's just straight whiteness you have something called shadow where people are
kind of like ghosts like figures and that's the only way that they can see
(13:58):
people or see things I have a combination of all those different types
and I use like different equipments and that's another thing like people think
with when you're using your phone in a certain way like a magnifier oh you can
see you're fine you know and that is further from the truth another
(14:26):
misconception is people think that like in our community some say that being
totally blind is actually better than someone who is like me who's visually
impaired and the reason why is because when you're born sighted or have some
(14:48):
form of sight your mind and your your natural ability is to try to see what
you can't see oh wow wow yeah and like for me I don't have like peripheral
(15:10):
vision so it's like horse with blinders I try to use magnet metaphors that
people understand for people who are totally who are considered to be sighted
we call it we call you sighted people you know so like like a horse if you
(15:33):
think like a horse with blinders they can't see on their side they can only
see straight ahead so like for me I have to like turn my head in certain angles
to see in a 365 angle you know and I have to like try to see what I'm making
(15:56):
out because whatever that I can't see in my peripheral is completely just gone
and I'll miss it okay so I'm constantly keeping my head maybe to like the right
or left just to try to see what is there and that is that's why people who are
(16:17):
totally blind will say that it's harder for a person who's visually impaired
because over time that causes either pain headaches other issues because
you're constantly straining the eyes to try to see what it can oh you know one I
(16:38):
that I could like I was saying before I could totally see that as being a
challenge you know my mom like I was saying I do see her struggling
especially during the winter time she has such she has an even harder time
(17:01):
with my mom has retinal pigmentosis and that is from my understanding for my
inner standing this is something that is not curable so it's just something that
continues to go she continues to deal with it continues to get worse and you
(17:26):
brought up about the tools and the technologies and different things like
that I found like I will be honest I didn't wish that on my mom but there's
so many things that now like she's brought home that are pretty interesting
and pretty cool can you tell us about some of the tools and technologies that
(17:50):
you've been using that have helped you adapt so I have an iPhone and this is
also one all different types of cell phones which is called is called
voiceover and so it's like an audio descriptive where it reads everything
(18:14):
for you so like for a person who's visually impaired or even blind they can
hear things that they're touching on their phone to make like phone calls to
make to even you know make a text to anybody to even email and such another
(18:36):
thing is the zoom feature that all cell phones have which is like a it's almost
like a double tap triple tap type thing so in our world is all about tapping
well you know me you know that I'm I love the tapping so I like this sounds
(18:57):
good it's all about the tapping with the fingers on the phones because we have to
be able to hear the different gestures that the phones is suggesting for us to
use for like you know navigating the phone and those things help us to be
more accessible like everybody else to do everything like normal people do with
(19:21):
their well not normal but we're normal what everybody does on their phone
another cool thing is you know some people like well how did I do you know
websites or computers there's something called jaws you know and also zoom text
(19:41):
you know those things help like individuals like me who are totally
blind to work in businesses that jobs are supposed to provide they even have
like something called a CCTV screen reader which is right we used to have
one yeah it's almost like a big like like a TV they come in like big-sized TVs
(20:08):
yes and you could put like books and paper underneath like the like a
camera like thing and it has lights and you can change the color depending on
the the version of it because some of them are older models some of them are
our newer models I have something which is updated one I think it's like a 2024
(20:33):
version and it goes 365 in a whole room yeah like it has a camera so like if I
was in a classroom or like a college and I was like sitting on like this hot row
I can see all the way down to the professor's like board of whatever he's
(20:54):
writing whatever without even being up close because of the magnifier from the
camera and I can change the color of the the wall so he was writing in like black
ink I can change it to a different color that's another thing some some people's
vision impairment or blindness is affected by certain colors so like
(21:20):
yellow sometimes they can make it out better some of them might say yellow is
too bright so they'll tone it down to like maybe a blue or green it depends on
whatever their spectrum is of their blindness I completely understand that
because mom she can do black background with white writing mm-hmm yeah she's
(21:46):
really able to like really be able to see it correct when it's when it's got
that background wow that is so cool about being in the far being up in the
nosebleeds in the college class and be able to see it you know I'll be open I
can't even see that good like my glass thank goodness for my glasses let me
(22:07):
tell you no you know one thing I will have to say that I am truly truly I when
you told me through message that you were blind I was so surprised I had no
(22:30):
idea now of course because you don't just ask someone that but we had DM'd
each other numerous times I knew in my lives when I was doing the meditation
and you liked my videos commenting I feel that would you say that the the
(22:55):
ability to be able to live a a life fulfilled with being blind has gotten
better when it comes to technology and things yes and I believe that's the main
reason as to why the organization that hello hi I'm still here okay yeah that's
(23:23):
I think that's why the organization that we're a part of is fighting so hard
about accessibility technology because I don't think I would have been able to
even be on tech talk or do the things that I normally do without these
(23:43):
accessibility technology equipments or even the training because a lot of
blind centers or a lot of states do not even have blind centers so you have
individuals like myself or who are totally blind think that their life is
(24:04):
completely over and there's nothing else to do now they do have some
assistance and with some ophthalmology might provide something called low
vision like a low vision doctor that will analyze what your IQ T is and make
(24:26):
you legally blind but once they do that they'll just hang you a cane and say I'm
sorry and that's it and a lot of people have committed suicide because of those
things because they don't think that life can continue to go on because it's
(24:48):
not enough public information on the accessibility the advocacy and the
things that we do because we do a lot of great things I will see that so
speaking of accessibility and inclusion I would like to know what are some
(25:09):
changes that you feel need to happen in the world to be more inclusive like I
feel that our world is so ignorant even myself when it comes to the blindness
community I did not I was so impressed and so I didn't even know my head was
(25:34):
spinning when I met these amazing people in my mom's group you know what are some
things you think that could change in this world to be more inclusive I think
honestly it starts with our community to make it more public size I don't know if
(25:55):
you know that our organization partner with another blind organization to
create the Barbie the blind Barbie that was out in the news and also they
partner with NASA to try to create a new car now I know some people like I don't
(26:16):
think we want blind people driving on the road but but the way that technology
is going it's not it's not not possible you know I think it is a hundred percent
possible I think it needs to be more public size I think we need to show more
(26:38):
of the things that we're doing so that people can feel more comfortable with
the idea that blindness is just another way of life of just almost like losing
your arm and still being a human being that helps and also with our I know
(27:01):
we're dealing with a lot with our government but sadly it's not on the
ballot on the ballot enough of what people can vote for to make it more
accessible like a lot of jobs can make things like accessible like their their
(27:24):
computers with coding which is very easy to do but they don't do it because they
feel like they don't have to do it when it is in their policies to do so but
because we're not voting on these things no matter what party you belong to is
(27:44):
what's causing a lot of problems and we have to fight against ophthalmology to
not maybe against them but work with them to get them to understand that if
you mess up on our eyes doesn't mean that you can just throw us away yes and
(28:04):
that right there you know what's one and one thing that I do want to ask because
you know I I am a family member of someone in the community how can like
what can individuals like myself do to support an advocate better for
(28:24):
accessibility what can I do I will say go to the meetings go to the
conventions with your mom get you know the more she's involved in the meetings
and the more that you are involved with your mom in these meetings the more
you'll learn because then you'll meet so many people that will give you the tools
(28:50):
and resources and it could be fun because they go to different states and
you get to travel with your mom and your mom she will become more and more
confident within herself because she's gonna be surrounded by people who are
(29:10):
just like her you know for years I thought because I had a little bit of
sight there's no way I'm blind you know until I actually walked into a bus
you know and that was when I was like literally like training with my mobility
trainers I know she has to know about mobility trainer you know he was
(29:34):
laughing I mean I literally walked smack dad into a bus I'm sorry I don't mean to
laugh no it's funny now but it wasn't funny then and I'm like touching the
bus thank God the bus was literally at park like on a light or something but
(29:55):
I'm in the street touching this bus and the bus and people are yelling at my
mobility trainer like you have this girl but those moments is what I can laugh
about and in the blind community we can laugh about a lot of our struggles and
issues I mean we were in one meeting where some of us was really playing like
(30:22):
what you call the Spears with our kings in the hallway
like but those are the joy and moments that makes you feel like you're just
accepted and you're human and that no matter if you can't see well you can
still just live your life yes and I love that you know I went to one of mom's
(30:48):
groups she got to lead lead the group for the day and pick out lunch and all
that other stuff you know and I did a meditation for for the group and it was
so amazing like the experience that they had the experience that I had that it
(31:13):
was it was really a beautiful thing and speaking of meditation and you already
know it's ROP is healing you know yes it's my jam so I have a question for you
has blindness deepened your connection with yourself yes because I really have
(31:35):
to rely on my other senses now more so than anything else of you know more than
my eyes so I have to go by touch I have to go by feel and I have to go by
memory so a lot of times I'm talking to myself in my mind a lot so would you say
(31:55):
mindful meditation is something that works really well for you yes yeah yay
meditation so what's also to you what are some things that has built
resilience and inner strength in you because like you already know I think
you are and mind you we can say we could say bad words I think you are one bad
(32:21):
rich miss Queen Esther I have to say so myself because I see you doing amazing
things modeling so like what are some things that you do you know to build
that inner strength I would say well what started for me was what I when
(32:44):
people said I couldn't go out anywhere by myself after I did training for a
long time I mean it was it was over six six years with you know the blindfold I
was like you know what I would just take a walk I walk for I think it was 20 21
(33:07):
miles in one day oh wow and I completed it in one day because after my my
malpractice case when I had lost the case I was just really just devastated
because I thought within the case that I was going to regain my sight because the
(33:32):
whole goal for me was you know sue the doctors to get them to do the surgery so
my eyesight can be fixed that's another thing about being
misconception you know this misconception that these doctors you know
don't push the idea of surgery oh we're gonna fix it we're gonna fix it we're
(33:55):
gonna fix it and sometimes you have to tell yourself or tell them no I'm fine
where I'm at and that's okay to be fine where you are and it took a long time
for me to tell the doctors no because I was so afraid because these were you
(34:18):
know supposedly powerful people that are supposedly helping me and I found and
I'm not saying that it wouldn't help other people because it does help people
but I'm saying that for a person who went blind through malpractice that
sometimes you have to be okay with being the way that you are and that you have
(34:42):
to be able to speak up to say enough is enough I'm not doing anymore and that
I'm okay where I'm at and I took that walk 21 miles and when I completed it I
went to my group my support group and I said guess what guys I was somewhere by
myself see oh I love that I love that and I was just going to ask you you know
(35:10):
if you could give some advice but I feel like you just gave the best advice
believe in yourself and say hey this is where I am and I'm gonna go from here
and then you can take this what 21 mile walk by yourself by myself and I'm I
met so many people who've done things by themselves because another thing with my
(35:35):
mobility training and I believe Baltimore does the same thing where once
you're done a certain period of training they will suggest that you go somewhere
now this is where you do travel by yourself where you literally have to
either do a flight or even a train ride somewhere completely by yourself with
(36:00):
the you know the amount of training that you had this is like when you're like
way past you know the training and you're like almost like a professional
at this now like a black belt like a black belt and I really had I had to do
(36:21):
something like that where I had to go to Erie Pennsylvania by myself with a
blindfold on and my family was like excuse my friends like almost shitting
in their pants because they were like you're going where oh wow see that you
(36:43):
know what I don't know if mom's ready for that yet but she will be yes she
will be and and that's another thing just you also asked about how as a
family member can you be supportive there's gonna be times where it may
look scary to you but when we are too helpful it can prevent them from being
(37:05):
independent for themselves and by being a support is also helping yourself not
to be overly helpful but just being helpful enough where they can do things
for themselves and when they ask for help it's fine but don't help too much
because then you don't want to over cuddle them and that's something my
(37:31):
family had to learn I mean it was times they wanted to fight my mobility trainer
you know same same same I'm like I had to leave a few times I was like okay mom
I'll be back I'll see you after after you're done because I was like hmm who
are you talking to what are you having my mom do see and yeah I that they have
(38:00):
to do it because you're not relying on your sight so therefore you got to be
able to do things that may look scary to other even like walking into a bus
but it's something that you'll learn not to do again it's almost like touching
(38:23):
the fire we learned that fire is hot by touching it or being close to it and
it's the same thing when it comes down to training we have to learn how to
navigate the streets because the streets are not kind even for people who are
fully sighted yes yes when you can't see you have to be able to rely on all your
(38:46):
senses to maintain that safety for yourself and it's like fighting like a
like a fighter they have broken bows yes that is true well you know Esther I
want to tell you thank you so much for joining me and I want to let everybody
(39:07):
know hey guys you can most definitely find I like to color Queen Esther on
tick-tock you can find her on IG and you can also find her can they find you on
Facebook yes you can find her on Facebook as well and Queen what is one
(39:29):
takeaway before we before we leave today what is one takeaway that you would like
the listeners to remember the same is never judge a book by its cover I was
saying never judge a blind person by their blindness I love that I love that
(39:53):
Esther you know again thank you so much for joining me everyone thank you for
listening and we're gonna have some different takeaway notes where you can
find some resources maybe some organizations in your area and have a
beautiful evening afternoon whatever it is for you and happy healing thank you
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