November 1, 2025 • 56 mins
oin Constance as she shares how to let go of unhealthy friendships, toxic romantic and family relationships that are dysfunctional and no longer serve you. You will understand the characteristics of codependency and patterns of repeated negative behavior in relationships. You will learn how to set boundaries, say no and choose yourself. Constance gives you specific steps in each of these 3 categories to identify, shift and change. You will choose to let go of the old and begin to connect with your new healthy relationships that Spirit has waiting for you.
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Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/create-your-reality-the-ultimate-law-of-attraction-show-for-conscious-creators--1595897/support.
✨ Subscribe and Stay Inspired!
Listen to more powerful conversations on the Law of Attraction Radio Network, featuring top experts in manifestation, spirituality, and quantum success.
🌐 Visit LOARadioNetwork.com to explore shows, read articles, and connect with our global Law of Attraction community.
💫 Create a new life by creating new thoughts.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to the Law of Attraction Radio Network. International
success coach and noted author Constance Arnold delivers life changing
strategies through her own spiritual practices as well as with
best selling authors and experts that she interviews. Fink Believe
In manifest is specially designed to empower your mind and
(00:20):
words to work for you and to bring about a
life you've been dreaming of. And now here's Constance Arnold.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hello Powell for Manifesto and welcome to the Law of
Attraction Radio Network. And of course I am Constance arn
a host of the Think Believe In manifest talk show,
and today I am come to coming to you from
cold Atlanta, Georgia. I'm so excited. You better get excited.
(00:52):
I'm so grateful, so thankful, so appreciative that you made
a decision to tune in today. And I believe that
the spirit of God has attracted you here, that this
is exactly what you need to hear, that it is
going to nourish you, it is going to help you,
(01:14):
and that what you hear today will heal you. Well.
It is a beautiful cold day here in the at
l and welcome to November. O. MG can you believe
that it is already November twenty twenty five, and this
(01:36):
is my birthday week coming up. Guys, all of you
know that I celebrate for thirty days. I'm so excited.
My birthday is on November the seventh, So we have
sixty days remaining before the end of the year, and
(01:57):
I am probably going to be doing doing most of
the teaching on my show for the remainder of the year.
I told somebody that they were like, yay, I'm so happy. Well, guys,
I'm going to get right into it, and I'm gonna be
teaching you how to let go of relationships that no
(02:20):
longer serve you. I'm just not talking about relationships, how
to let go of friendships, how to let go of
family members, and how to let go of romantic relationships
that no longer serve you. I'm going to break it
down spiritually. I'm going to break it down clinically. I'm
(02:41):
going to break it down psychologically and emotionally. So I
want you to open up your heart and your spirit.
Please follow me on social media a TikTok and Instagram
is at a law of attraction constance. Of course, my
YouTube page I want y'all to make some comments. I
(03:04):
don't see some of y'all making comments. Make some comments
and share it with other people. You know, during times
like these, people are really looking for help, They're searching
for solutions, they're looking for inspiration and encouragement. So you
know how you be liking all those other people's videos,
(03:28):
I want you to like mine and share it with someone.
And then, of course Facebook is coach with constance. If
you're speaking of coaching, if you're interested in changing your life.
Just had somebody got a new client and she was saying, man,
what took me so long? Y'all I've heard me say,
(03:50):
you've heard my clients say. If you want to go
to the next level, coaching is where it's at. Coaching
will help you with your blind spots. It will open
up your eyes to things you didn't see about yourself.
I had a coaching session with my mentor this week,
(04:13):
and boy, he shared some things about me that I
needed to see about me, and so it was not
easy to hear, but I needed to hear it. So
if you read, if you try to just praying, ain't
nothing happen waiting for your breakthrough? What else? Just believing
(04:35):
that it's going to happen on its arm. You know,
there's no time in the spirit and coaching can get
you there really, really quickly. If you're interested in a
twenty minute discovery call. I had one lady do a
discovery call this week. She said, Oh, I was so nervous.
The first thing I say in every discovery call is
(04:58):
I'm not trying to get you to buy anything from me,
because I'm not. I'm talking to you. You're really doing
most of the talking. I'm listening to see if we
are vibrational match. So if you are sick and tired
of being sick and tired, let's do a discovery called
email me Constance and Fulfilling Youourpurpose dot com. My assistant
(05:21):
will send you a zoom link and I'm just gonna
listen to you for twenty minutes. It's absolutely free. So
let's take a deep breath in everybody, let it out.
Breadth is in spirit. It means spirit, deep breath, then
(05:42):
let it out. So here we go. I'm going to
be talking about how to let go of relationships, and
the areas that I'm going to be covering are friendships,
romantic relationships, and family relationship that no longer serve you.
(06:03):
Let's start with friendships. You know, we were created to
have friendships. You know, maybe in high school you had friends.
Now you have friends, but some of y'all know, I
need to let some of these friends go. So these
are just some signs that it's time for you to
(06:29):
release that friendship so God can send the person that
is going to be going with you to your next level.
You know, I used to say I am a lawyer friend,
and boy I was, but I was really co dependent.
(06:51):
And in codependency it says that you are yer, you
are loyal, even if loyalty isn't deserved. So see if
you can relate to this in any of your friendships
right now. If you always feel drained after the conversations
they call you and all you say is hello, They
(07:15):
don't ask how as your dog doing, how's your cat doing?
How are you doing? And you are mostly doing all
of the giving. Wow, when you realize that y'all may
go out somewhere socially and you just don't connect or
(07:35):
vibe anymore because you've changed you see, you know you've
heard the mantra relationships are for a reason, a season
or a lifetime. Some relationships were never meant to just
stay with us, and you have to know how to
release them when you feel uncomfortable sharing about your wins
(07:58):
and your growth. And I'm going to share a story
about that in my own life. If your friend constantly
or consistently ignores your boundaries, that's a red flag. So
if there's a disrespect for boundaries and trust, like if
(08:19):
you tell him or her something and they go and
share your business with something else, with somebody else, if
they just don't have any boundaries calling you early in
the morning, not even considerate of you, like I said,
if you feel drained because the relationship has just become
(08:44):
too negative and really, ideally a friendship should lift you up,
not drain you emotionally or spiritually. And if you're feeling exhausted,
are bad about yourself when you do go with that
person because they may be going through a tough time
(09:06):
and they are so negative. When you get home, Wow,
you are exhausted because of the negativity, because of the
constant complaining. You ever went to dinner with somebody and
they were like, my bread's not hot, I don't like this,
I need more sugar, I don't like this and just
(09:28):
constantly complaining, all right, that is a red flag that
you need to reconsider that friendship. Possibly you've outgrown them.
Anytime you expand your consciousness, any time you expand your life,
you travel all over the world, and maybe your friend
(09:51):
or associate hadn't even been out of the US. We're
not judging, we're just observing. That means you have a
different mindset, you have a different way of thinking. I
remember in high school my best friend recy Paige. She's
made her transition. She was smarter than me. But I
(10:13):
went to college and she didn't. And I remember when
I went back home, there was a shift. And I
didn't want that to be a shift, but there was one,
all right, So think about your friendship. Healthy friendships involved support,
(10:34):
not constant criticism, belittling or making you feel bad about yourself.
So it would look like this, Oh you're gonna wear that,
Why do you always have to dress up? Why are
you getting a new car? Or you feel like that
it's competitive and that the person really struggles to be
(10:56):
happy for your successes. Gonna tell my story now, I
had a friend. She was really smart, he's a PhD.
But I realized if I was in a relationship, especially
with a wealthy man, which I was most of the time.
(11:16):
She would say, uh, I hadn't really, but what does
he do, you know, just make some little negative comment,
or if I wore something, wow, that color looks a
little drab on you. Or because I really had a
strong relationship with my father, all of us at the
(11:40):
church went into this male mentoring group where we had
one guy who just taught us about relationships and he
was like a father to us. And he really I
wasn't in the group initially, but he really vibed with
me because I guess I gave off the vibration of
(12:02):
I was accustomed to having a dad. And I remember
she said to me, why is it that all of
the mentors are always they always care for you? So
you know, those were major flags. But I just said, well,
you know, she didn't have a father, etc. But if
(12:24):
you are in a friendship and you have to hide
your successes. I remember that I did a big conference
and I asked her to come and she said, well,
I'm going to be out of town. And I asked
her daughter to work at one of my registration's table,
(12:44):
and do you know she did not go out of town.
And her daughter later told me years later, she did
not go out of town. And so those are examples.
I have a client and she's had a friend for years,
and that's my homegirl. I said, it may be your homegirl,
but you've outgrown her. And she bought a luxury car,
(13:09):
and because her friend was believing for a car, she
hid the fact that she bought a luxury car. So
you need friends in your life. We're not mad at them,
we're not upset with them, but you need to release them.
God is speaking to you. God is showing you we're
not upset with them. You need friends in your life
(13:33):
on your level or higher, because friendship is for a
reason or season or a lifetime. You want somebody that's
happy for you. Now, my bff, I'm happy for her.
She just brought a big commercial real estate property. She
just closed a big deal. I didn't close the deal,
(13:57):
but I'm just as happy for her as she is
for herself. When she purchased her million dollar home. This
is what she said, Constance is more happier for me
than I am. She's more excited about this. So you
want somebody that's gonna celebrate you. Okay, we talk about
when to let go betrayal or gossip. So a significant
(14:23):
betrayal of your friendship is like gossiping behind your back.
If you share with your friend and then they killing
somebody else, that's betrayal. And so my grandmama used to say,
a dog that takes a bond will bring a bond,
(14:44):
or is it a dog that brings a bone will
take a mall? What does that mean? If if that
person is constantly talking negative about other people, what you
think they're gonna be doing about you? All Right, we
talk about letting go of friendships are drifting apart. You know,
as people changes, I said earlier, your priorities change, your
(15:08):
values changed, your interest can shift. You naturally grow apart.
I remember someone said that they were dating this guy
and she was saying, I gotta get my passport renewed.
And he said to her, oh, say you one of
(15:29):
those big shots. Now that was just a feeling of
insecurity right there. But she had expanded her consciousness that
she wanted to travel. So, if you are the smartest
one in your group, you need to look for another
group and you need to make room for the relationships
(15:50):
that God has for you. I heard Kim Kardashian say
somebody that had been working with her I don't know
if it was the makeup artist or somebody had been
with her for you years and some matter asking well,
why did you let them go? I'm paraphrasing she said,
they couldnt go where I'm going? So are you holding
(16:10):
on to friendship because you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
You don't have to be nasty, you don't have to
be a just attitude. You can just make a decision
that you're going to begin to not speak with them
as much, to stand fully in who you are as
(16:32):
your new person, to set boundaries and say no, I
don't want to gossip, a, no, I don't want to
have dinner with you, etc. All right, because you no
longer have things that are in common, and that might
mean the friendship has run its course. Now there's nothing
(16:53):
wrong with that. I think that we have adopted the
belief that you gotta always be friends. Well, that ain't happening,
and so there might be, as I said earlier, a
lot of manipulation. Jealousy. You know, the Bible said jealousy
is crueler than the grave. If somebody is jealous of
(17:17):
you and envious of you, What is it in you
that would stay in that? So you say you don't
want to hurt their feelings, but you are hurting yourself.
And so I remove myself from relationships. It used to
take me awhile, but when I see a red flag
(17:40):
and the same behavior keeps occurring, and we've talked about
it over and over, I am removing my presence and
my essence from that relationship in silence. The most powerful
thing you could do this is for a romantic relationship
and a friendship, is to remove your power and your
(18:04):
essence from that relationship, and your behavior speak so loud
you won't have to say anything, all right, And then
this is the last thing. It's unhealthy because the friend
only contacts you when they want something. It is not
(18:26):
a mutual reciprocal relationships. Relationship should be I give you gift,
I give you gift. There are seasons when some of
my friends listen to me more, and there are season
when I listen to them more. All right, So it's
really a lack of support and one sidedness a friendship.
(18:48):
A friendship should always be a two way street. And
if you're putting in all of the effort. That's a
sign it's a one sided connection and it's time to
release that relationship because it no longer serves you. Wow,
(19:09):
think about that and be honest with yourself. What friends
do you have in your life right now that you
know you need to release and let go of so
that God can bring other people in your life on
your journey. See your life like a railroad track. You
(19:32):
on the train and you have different stops on the train,
so the train stops and the person who's in your
life now you need to get off of that train
and get on another train, wishing that person well so
that when you get on the new train. I got
(19:52):
that out, then God was send the right person that
would support you to your next level. Well, relationships are
so important, and I've seen people allow relationships to really
pull them back. I heard somebody say, next to God,
(20:12):
the relationships that you choose are crucial. So think about that,
and I'm gonna come right back and we're gonna talk
about what about your family members? Hold on everybody? All right?
(20:33):
So how do you let go of family members? You say,
in constance, you've gone to for we know that there's
a lot of dysfunctions in family. Some people have been
strange for years. Some people still mad at their mama
and their daddy. Some people hate going homes for the holidays,
(20:54):
all of the aboves. So how do you let go?
Do you have to participate pay in family activities constance?
You know what would that look like? So let's talk
about family. We know we all have some form of
dysfunction in our family. I think you need to recognize
(21:16):
the toxic patterns that exist in your family and realife
that wow, I really love my family. But one of
my clients said, cons I love my family, but they're crazy.
Now I didn't say that, And so you got to
recognize those toxic patterns. Knowing that Uncle Jim is always
(21:38):
gonna say something negative because he's drinking, Knowing that possibly
your mama can't even be happy for you because she's
envious of you. I've seen that so many times. Knowing
that your father will never say I love you because
he does not know how. So with family, you have
to prioritize your sin care and emotional well being by
(22:04):
setting firm boundaries. And when you do that, you're really
taking care of yourself. And it's gonna feel weird because
we're taught you're supposed to be in love with your family,
and but there are cases and people where you really
need to release them and let it go. I know,
(22:25):
whenever I used to go home all the time, my
mom would say, go and visit Uncle Joe, Go and
visit Aunt Lizzie, Go and visit unt aunt family and
some of those people I hadn't seen in years. And
I remember I was so skinny, tiny, yeo, like a
hundred one hundred pounds and I'm five to nine. And
(22:47):
I went home one time and I probably weighed one
hundred and twenty and one of my aunties said, ooh,
you gained a little weight, haven't you. Well, yeah, I'm
twenty years older. And so you know those kinds of things.
So start by understanding who the toxic family members are.
(23:09):
That means they're gonna always be critical girl when you're
gonna get married, girl, a son when you're gonna go
back to school, son, when you're gonna get a family.
So there's a lot of shame, there's a lot of criticizing. Uh,
sometimes there's a lot of guilt and control. You don't
(23:29):
ever come home anymore. You know and after all that
I've done for you, any of that that is toxicity.
I have had so many clients who've had to distance
themselves from their mom because their mom was so wounded
(23:52):
emotionally and psychologically. Their mom was so envious of their lives.
Their mom was so jealous, and that's a difficult choice
to make, all right. Another example of releasing family is
ignoring boundaries and just invading your privacy and knowing boundaries
(24:15):
might be, well, you know, I'm not really loaning any
more money. I remember I used to be the bank
in my family. Everybody came to constance and I always
said yes. I didn't know how to set boundaries back
then or say no. So in your family, are you
(24:37):
always a strong one? Are you always the one that
does the family reunion? Are you always the one that
puts everything together? And I'm gonna say, if you are,
you feel like a victim, and you full feel like
a martyr. Poor me, that's codependency. Poor me. I'm the
(24:57):
one that's always giving. You are the go to person
in your family. You do all of the work, You
coordinate everything. If there's a funeral, you're in charge. And
there's nothing wrong with that if that's what you desire.
But emotional blackmail is, well, after all I've done for
(25:20):
you and nobody knows how to do it like you do, etc.
Emotional blackmail is might be a sibling who says, well,
you don't live here in the city and you don't
really know what's going on, and might be really angry
and enraged at you because they're totally responsible by taking
(25:41):
care of the parents of your parents. So there's a
lot of drama and victimhood and sort of gas likes
you always having something negative to say. And so which
family guys You got to set and enforce boundaries why,
(26:06):
because your boundaries protect your emotional space. You're not punishing
your family. You cannot change your family, You cannot make
them behave like you want to. But if you feel
that you have done the best that you could and
that you have to really go through a whole recovery
(26:30):
process when you deal with your family members, it's time
to release them and let them go. You're not mad
at them, but you're choosing not to spend a lot
of your time and energy. I know of one person
they have a family text chain and so they be
(26:53):
texting everybody and all the stuff in there is negative.
Did you know that Mary did this and she left
her husband? And did you know Jane did not go
by and check on mom? Who wants to be a
part of that negativity? And I'm gonna say this again,
wounding hurting people will always hurt you. Wounded hurting people
(27:20):
will always try to wound you. And they may be
completely oblivious to it, but because they are wounded, they
live in that vibration. So you're gonna have to really
set boundaries with them. And when they try to get
in your business. No, I'm not comfortable discussing that. You
(27:43):
need to limit your contact if necessary. That means short
of visits, feer calls, and just being neutral about things.
So what do you think about what mama? Well, I
think mama is grown or whatever Mama wants wants to do.
I always say no. It is a complete sentence. So
(28:06):
you don't have to explain are you coming home for Christmas?
No period, you don't have to justify or explain. You
don't need approval. You're not going to be nasty, You're
not going to be any of that. And the last
two things I want to say before I go to
(28:27):
commercial always remember you can choose another family. To be
quite honest, Mike, I am closer to my friends here
in Atlanta. I only had one brother left. Over the
years I was closer. God gave me another family, and
(28:49):
God can give you a family that's not your blood family.
Some people call it your tribe. And the last thing
is that you need to make sure you're not walking
in unforgiveness against nobody in your family. If you're walking
in unforgiveness right now by something they did, something they said,
(29:12):
you need to release yourself. You need to make a decision.
I am going to release and forgive them and walk
yourself through the forgiveness process. And that's major. That's major
in families. How long are you gonna hold what you
(29:33):
feel against your sister, against your brother, against your mom,
against your dad. You gotta make a decision and walk
through that forgiveness. You know, I'm about to release this
and let it go a process. I'm going to be
right back everybody after these commercials. I want you to
(29:56):
meditate on that because I just feel by the spirit
that some of y'all are holding on to unforgiveness because
of stuff that's happened in your family. How long you're
gonna be made, how long you're gonna be upset, how
long you're gonna feel betrayed, how long you're going to
feel shamed, how long you're gonna be angry. It's time
(30:20):
for you to make a decision. That's it. I'll be
racked back. We're gonna be talking about romantic love.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Stay tuned, Observe anyone at the top of their game,
and the results will be the same. They've all had
valuable guidance and direction from a coach. If you are
ready to manifest your wildest dreams, you can experience my
thirty years of serving over ten thousand clients as a
professional counselor, Law of Attraction and certified dream coach. I
merge spirituality, law of attraction, and practical principles and strategies
(30:53):
to help you manifest your dreams. For more information, visit
Fulfilling your Purpose dot com.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
Are you ready to wild participants at your next organizational event?
Constance Arnold there's an unforgettable keynote and keynote plus speaker.
Constance will capture your audience and share informative and entertaining
messages that align with your vision. Her number one goal
is to empower and motivate audiences to take action. Contact
her at www dot fulfillingyourpurpose dot com.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
How to release a relationship when it's no longer serving you,
or how to release a relationship when you know that
you need to end it. I want to speak back
to any of you in the portion that I just
shared around family members, I just get the sense in
(31:47):
the spirit if any of you have unforgiveness, resentment, rage
and anger against anybody, especially your parents or siblings in
your family, you don't want to take that into twenty
twenty six. You got to make a decision that you
are going to whatever it takes, don't allow unforgiveness. Did
(32:12):
you know that unforgiveness is really aligned with debt? Did
you know that the vibration of unforgiveness is really aligned
with lack and scarcity because it's like you're saying you
owe me something, you owe me an apology, and they might.
(32:33):
But when you live in that vibration, when you forgive,
you're really it's like a release and an opening for
unlimited supply. But I just had to share that when
I came back after the commercial. Okay, all right, everybody,
we talking about how can you release a romantic relationship
(32:54):
when you know it's time. I'm speaking to women now.
Women we all know. Women in our own intuition, we
always know when it's not working. Women, we always know
that it's time to end or release that relationship. Somebody
(33:17):
told me, well, I don't want to hurt his feelings.
I said, but you're hurting yourself. You're unhappy, you're miserable,
you're not married. You've been with him for nine years.
You want to be married, so you're hurting yourself. So
these are some signs, ladies that if you're in a
(33:41):
romantic relationship, and gentlemen, you know, we put too much
pressure on romantic relationships. It has to make me happy,
it has to fulfill me, and all of that's important.
But you go to the relationship as much as possible,
book with the full cup. That doesn't mean that you're independent.
(34:04):
Did you know that they're calling it the gray divorce,
That more people in their sixties and seventies, you know,
gray hair, are getting divorced than any other age group,
sixties and seventies. And the reasons why are Wow, I
(34:28):
don't know how much life I have to live, but
I want to live it authentically and I want to
live it fully and I want to be happy. So
these are some signs if you're in a romantic relationship
you already know. If you know, you know you no
longer feel emotionally close or supported to that person, that
(34:50):
you can't really share your real self, your authentic self.
You can't really share your feelings, and you feel like
the com recessions are forced kind of surface y'all know
when I'm talking about shallow and tents and you really
dread seeing or talking to your partner when you used
(35:13):
to look forward to because you kind of feel like
you're walking on eggshells. Sounds like codependency to me, I've
been in this situation. When I'm about to share next,
you feel lonelier. Did I get that out in the
relationships that you were alone? These are all signs that
(35:36):
thank God for what the relationship was, what it brought
to me, But you deserve the best, and really you're
not being authentically real with that other person by allowing
him or her to find their person. All right, you
(35:57):
may feel like if one person is doing most of
the emotional or practical work. I always tell men women
we read more we study more, we go to more seminars.
I share with my mail clients. If you know all
of the stats in football and all of the stats
(36:17):
in basketball, you can know your woman. And so if
you feel like you're the one that says, let's get help,
let's do this, or if your partner dismisses your feelings
or boundaries, O MG, I've heard okay, guys, I love you,
(36:39):
but I've heard women say I've heard men say she's
too emotional? Is she too emotional? Or do you need
to learn how to really get in touch with your
own emotions? Wow? Are there are no boundaries? Boundaries might
be you work out day and then you have to
(37:01):
come home and do all the work and your partner
is sleep, or you're taking on the whole financial responsibility
and your partner is staying out late, or your partner
won't keep a job. I know of many situations like that,
(37:21):
and certainly not dogging men, but I know some situation
where the man on every job he gets, he just
it's the supervisor, it's the coworkers, it's the environment, and
his wife, his girlfriend, not even his wife. His girlfriend
(37:43):
has to work two jobs. So that is a lack
of respect and honored. And I'm telling you some if
you are not being respected and honored, would you say
that it is certainly time for you to release that relationship.
(38:04):
If there's been a lot of infidelity, lying, manipulation that
has not been addressed or repaired. This is what I
tell couples. Men say, well, I told I'm sorry when
it comes to infidelity, how long is it gonna take?
And I always tell men, as long as it takes,
(38:27):
it takes. It may have taken you just a couple
of nights to destroy trust, but it takes a while
for a woman to openly trust again. So notice I said,
if there's been a lot of lying, manipulation and infidelity
that is not being addressed, my question to you is
(38:50):
what is it in you? How do you see yourself?
What is your self image of yourself? For you to
remain in that relationship where lying, infidelity, and manipulation has
(39:10):
not been addressed, it's time to release, let go and
create a new life. If you don't feel emotionally and
physically safe with your partner, you know what time that is.
If you feel like that you have to earn love
(39:30):
that you don't deserve it. If you guys have different goals, values,
or visions about the future, they're no longer aligned. That
happens about the kids, about marriage, about lifestyle. If you
want to be married and he don't want to be married,
(39:53):
he has a right, but you also have a right
to say I no longer want to give my essence
and my prayer in this relationship and not be married.
If your goal is to be an entrepreneur, and maybe
if his goal is to be an entrepreneur and you
want to work a nine to five, you don't understand entrepreneurship.
(40:18):
Maybe your visions and your future no longer aligned. If
he wants kids but you don't want any children. Y'all
not married, your future no longer alignes. And so in
situations like that, you really want both people to really
(40:41):
be happy. I was talking to a client the other day.
If you want to be married and you are in
a relationship with a man who does not want to
be married, what are you doing. You deserve, just like
he deserves, to have the kind of relationship that he wants,
(41:05):
and you can't see a shared future that feels fulfilling
for both of you. Talk it out and then make
a decision. Wow, this was great, but this relationship really
needs to be released. All right, I'm just going through quickly.
(41:29):
These are all signs the universe is screaming to you
if every disagreement turns into a major fight or cold silence.
Y'all know what cold silence is, don't you. That's what
I used to do. He would say, you are right,
said m M everything. Okay, sure, that's cold silence. I've
(41:50):
known couples where one partner didn't even speak to the
other partner. That's manipulation for weeks. And he would say, conscious,
I've given her everything. She has a million dollar home,
she has this, she has that. And I said, sir,
he was a doctor. I said, doc, it's really nothing
(42:12):
you could do to make her happy because that has
to come from the inside out. Okay, important issues just
never get resolved. That just keep resurfacing. I always say,
when you don't deal with your stuff, your stuff is
gonna deal with you. You and your partner refuse to
(42:35):
communicate or compromised. And you already know in any relationship
that has to be compromised, it's my way or the
high way. You're gonna be by yourself. So these are
major life issues. And it is a difficult decision to make.
(42:57):
But why would you spend your life being unhappy? All right?
So this is the mental and the physical well being
we're talking about the romantic relationship. The relationship drains your
energy and your self esteem. If you always being put down,
(43:18):
you need to lose weight. Look at this house? What's
wrong with you? How come you can't do anything wrong?
Who wants to be in an emotionally abusive relationship. I
was talking to a couple and the man was upset
because his wife had gained weight. I said, but she
(43:39):
just had three of your children back to back, right, yes,
and she's working full time right yes, and her body
hasn't fully recovered. See he goes to the gym every day.
But he was being critical of her. And so if
you are in a relation relationship that drains your energy,
(44:03):
that puts you down, that decreases your self esteemed, the
answer is why. Now let them make a statement. I
never tell a woman to leave her husband. I never
tell a man to leave his wife. So I'm really
talking to people who are not married. But even if
(44:27):
you are married. When I did a coupless conflame, I
would always say, would God want you in an emotional
and physically abusive relationship, I'm not gonna go there. And
most of the time you feel anxious, sad, and just
(44:51):
out of it because of the relationships. Your friends and
your family they see it, they see what's happening, and
they are concerned about you. And this is the most
important one. Ladies are intuition. A woman always knows. My
(45:17):
daddy used to say, trying to put a peg into
a round circle, it ain't gonna work. Just your gut
feeling knows that something isn't right. You try communicating, working
on the relationship, and authenticity is the highest vibration. And
(45:41):
when you are in something that is not bringing you life.
I'm not saying everything gotta be perfect in the relationship
that ain't happening. I'm not saying that your partner don't
have foughts. I hadn't said any of that. But in
your intuition and the spirit is always speaking, it is
(46:04):
not an easy choice. You know in your gut when
it's time to release that relationship. So if you are
just feeling just like overly responsible for your partner's well
being and his choices, you don't know what kind of
(46:25):
mood he or she is gonna be in. One man
told me, he said, I don't never know who gonna
meet me in to do a constant Okay, that if
you feel guilty about focusing in on yourself, and the
real truth is you lost your identity because you are
so immersed in that relationship. Your own sense of self
(46:51):
worth revolves around your partner. Here's are her goals, here's
are her friends, and they're in. And so you don't
set boundaries. You don't know how to say no because
I've heard a lot of people say I don't want
to rock the boat, and you've heard me say, if
(47:13):
you have any friendship or relationship where you cannot say no,
if you have any friendship or relationship where you cannot
express how you feel, if you have any friendship relationship
where you can't have the hard conversations, that's a sign
(47:40):
you don't even remember who you are anymore because all
of your attention has gone on that relationship. You've kind
of feel like you become a caretaker, rescue in your partner. Okay,
ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting ready to make an announcement.
Drum roll, please, you cannot fix your partner drum roll,
(48:04):
Pete please, I got that you cannot change your partner.
If your partner is suffering from any addiction, any unresolved
childhood stuff, any anger or rage, you cannot fix him
(48:26):
or her. That person has to make the decision that
I want help, and you can make the decision. Wow,
I've done my best in this relationship and it's time
for me to release and move on. And sometimes the
(48:48):
reason that people don't move on is just like a
fear of abandonment. So you stay in it and you
don't really bring stuff up to avoid any kind of conflict,
and so you stay in unhealthy situations to avoid being alone.
(49:12):
O MG, I could stay on that forever. And so
you stay in unhealthy situations and you know, they don't
studies of women who have stayed in toxic relationships and
physically what it does to your heart, your body, your seals,
(49:33):
your you know, just your inner physical being, not to
mention the emotional part. And then lastly, what I got
so much I want to say is the person is
just too dependent on you for emotional stability and self worth.
(49:56):
You're their god. You're there it girl, You're the it man.
They come to you for everything you feel sad, you
can't be your full self. I remember a one couple
and the man he finished high school, but she wanted
to go to college and he was so insecure. You
(50:20):
don't need to go up there, and who's gonna be
looking at you? And she's like, I'm gonna be in class.
So another person's insecurity, really hampering, hindering and slowing you down.
I always say that your purpose and destiny should never
(50:41):
be hindered, slowed down, or diminished by another person you choose. So,
ladies and gentlemen, this has been a real and raw show.
Take a look at your life as the Holy Spirit
(51:04):
to not only show you you already know in the
area of family, in the area of friendship, in the
area of a romantic love relationship. We're not mad at
these people, we are not blaming them. But we have
awakened to who we are. We have recognized our own selves.
(51:30):
We are beginning to love our selves. We are beginning
to accept our selves. We are at a different level.
We are moving into a different version. And because we are.
When you move to a high version, when you move
to a different level, your choice is changed. When you
(51:54):
love yourself, you're not going to stay in abusive, toxic relationships.
When you love yourself, you're gonna set boundaries. When you
love yourself, you're gonna understand that our relationships are not
for a lifetime. When you love and care for yourself
and you are becoming authentic, you're walking, excuse me, walking
(52:17):
in your authenticity, which is the highest vibration, which says
this is who I am. And when you know who
you are, there are just certain things that you cannot accept.
If you want to be married, and this man does
not want to be married, you have a right to say,
(52:39):
this is what I want. I'm not trying to make
you want to be married. But I'm too authentic with
my own self. I'm too in touch with my own
needs not to walk fully in that love yourself enough
to release these toxic relationships, these wounded relationships, of these
(53:07):
hurting people. Hurt people, hurt people. And I had a couple.
This is the last thing I'm gonna say. And she
was coming to me for coaching, and she asked me upfront,
she said, now after I coached you, am I gonna
leave my husband? I said, I can't answer that question.
(53:29):
I said, all I can say is when you change,
the relationship would change. She said, what do you mean
when you change on the inside, your behavior is going
to change, Your thinking is going to change, your responses
are going to change. So usually the relationship shifts because
(53:51):
he or she sees another person. And you know, she said,
she said, give my coaching, said to somebody else, she said,
because I know if I get healed and I change
that my husband would leave me. And I'm gonna stay
(54:16):
in this relationship even though i know it's not good
for me. And I said, okay, So, anybody who is
interested in changing relationships and friendship contact me for a
complimentary twenty minute coaching discovery call if you know you're
(54:40):
ready to move out of a romantic relationship before the
end of the year. Guys, you know I wrote a
book on it, How to Attract and Manifest Genuine Love,
And the first part of that book devs in healing yourself.
You never choose any higher than how you see yourself.
(55:02):
If you are have estrangement in your family, if you're
mad at your siblings, at your mama, at your daddy,
if you are estranged from your family and you need help,
you're ready for help to heal forgive and release that pain.
(55:25):
Let's do a discovery call. This has been a powerful show. Everybody.
I tell you what the relationships are of God, but
you want to choose healthy, healing, flowing, abundant relationships. I
want you to share this with your friends, with your
(55:47):
girlfriend's guides, share it with your bros, Share it with
your coworkers, because we want to be healed. God created
us to live life and live it more Bundy. This
is Constance Arnold. Everybody. I want you to make a
decision to really create and manifest a great week.
Speaker 1 (56:08):
Thank you for listening, to think, believe, and manifest. Constance
Arnold will be back next week with another great show
just for you. For more information, please visit Fulfillingyourpurpose dot
com
You're listening to the Law of Attraction Radio Network. International
success coach and noted author Constance Arnold delivers life changing
strategies through her own spiritual practices as well as with
best selling authors and experts that she interviews. Fink Believe
In manifest is specially designed to empower your mind and
(00:20):
words to work for you and to bring about a
life you've been dreaming of. And now here's Constance Arnold.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hello Powell for Manifesto and welcome to the Law of
Attraction Radio Network. And of course I am Constance arn
a host of the Think Believe In manifest talk show,
and today I am come to coming to you from
cold Atlanta, Georgia. I'm so excited. You better get excited.
(00:52):
I'm so grateful, so thankful, so appreciative that you made
a decision to tune in today. And I believe that
the spirit of God has attracted you here, that this
is exactly what you need to hear, that it is
going to nourish you, it is going to help you,
(01:14):
and that what you hear today will heal you. Well.
It is a beautiful cold day here in the at
l and welcome to November. O. MG can you believe
that it is already November twenty twenty five, and this
(01:36):
is my birthday week coming up. Guys, all of you
know that I celebrate for thirty days. I'm so excited.
My birthday is on November the seventh, So we have
sixty days remaining before the end of the year, and
(01:57):
I am probably going to be doing doing most of
the teaching on my show for the remainder of the year.
I told somebody that they were like, yay, I'm so happy. Well, guys,
I'm going to get right into it, and I'm gonna be
teaching you how to let go of relationships that no
(02:20):
longer serve you. I'm just not talking about relationships, how
to let go of friendships, how to let go of
family members, and how to let go of romantic relationships
that no longer serve you. I'm going to break it
down spiritually. I'm going to break it down clinically. I'm
(02:41):
going to break it down psychologically and emotionally. So I
want you to open up your heart and your spirit.
Please follow me on social media a TikTok and Instagram
is at a law of attraction constance. Of course, my
YouTube page I want y'all to make some comments. I
(03:04):
don't see some of y'all making comments. Make some comments
and share it with other people. You know, during times
like these, people are really looking for help, They're searching
for solutions, they're looking for inspiration and encouragement. So you
know how you be liking all those other people's videos,
(03:28):
I want you to like mine and share it with someone.
And then, of course Facebook is coach with constance. If
you're speaking of coaching, if you're interested in changing your life.
Just had somebody got a new client and she was saying, man,
what took me so long? Y'all I've heard me say,
(03:50):
you've heard my clients say. If you want to go
to the next level, coaching is where it's at. Coaching
will help you with your blind spots. It will open
up your eyes to things you didn't see about yourself.
I had a coaching session with my mentor this week,
(04:13):
and boy, he shared some things about me that I
needed to see about me, and so it was not
easy to hear, but I needed to hear it. So
if you read, if you try to just praying, ain't
nothing happen waiting for your breakthrough? What else? Just believing
(04:35):
that it's going to happen on its arm. You know,
there's no time in the spirit and coaching can get
you there really, really quickly. If you're interested in a
twenty minute discovery call. I had one lady do a
discovery call this week. She said, Oh, I was so nervous.
The first thing I say in every discovery call is
(04:58):
I'm not trying to get you to buy anything from me,
because I'm not. I'm talking to you. You're really doing
most of the talking. I'm listening to see if we
are vibrational match. So if you are sick and tired
of being sick and tired, let's do a discovery called
email me Constance and Fulfilling Youourpurpose dot com. My assistant
(05:21):
will send you a zoom link and I'm just gonna
listen to you for twenty minutes. It's absolutely free. So
let's take a deep breath in everybody, let it out.
Breadth is in spirit. It means spirit, deep breath, then
(05:42):
let it out. So here we go. I'm going to
be talking about how to let go of relationships, and
the areas that I'm going to be covering are friendships,
romantic relationships, and family relationship that no longer serve you.
(06:03):
Let's start with friendships. You know, we were created to
have friendships. You know, maybe in high school you had friends.
Now you have friends, but some of y'all know, I
need to let some of these friends go. So these
are just some signs that it's time for you to
(06:29):
release that friendship so God can send the person that
is going to be going with you to your next level.
You know, I used to say I am a lawyer friend,
and boy I was, but I was really co dependent.
(06:51):
And in codependency it says that you are yer, you
are loyal, even if loyalty isn't deserved. So see if
you can relate to this in any of your friendships
right now. If you always feel drained after the conversations
they call you and all you say is hello, They
(07:15):
don't ask how as your dog doing, how's your cat doing?
How are you doing? And you are mostly doing all
of the giving. Wow, when you realize that y'all may
go out somewhere socially and you just don't connect or
(07:35):
vibe anymore because you've changed you see, you know you've
heard the mantra relationships are for a reason, a season
or a lifetime. Some relationships were never meant to just
stay with us, and you have to know how to
release them when you feel uncomfortable sharing about your wins
(07:58):
and your growth. And I'm going to share a story
about that in my own life. If your friend constantly
or consistently ignores your boundaries, that's a red flag. So
if there's a disrespect for boundaries and trust, like if
(08:19):
you tell him or her something and they go and
share your business with something else, with somebody else, if
they just don't have any boundaries calling you early in
the morning, not even considerate of you, like I said,
if you feel drained because the relationship has just become
(08:44):
too negative and really, ideally a friendship should lift you up,
not drain you emotionally or spiritually. And if you're feeling exhausted,
are bad about yourself when you do go with that
person because they may be going through a tough time
(09:06):
and they are so negative. When you get home, Wow,
you are exhausted because of the negativity, because of the
constant complaining. You ever went to dinner with somebody and
they were like, my bread's not hot, I don't like this,
I need more sugar, I don't like this and just
(09:28):
constantly complaining, all right, that is a red flag that
you need to reconsider that friendship. Possibly you've outgrown them.
Anytime you expand your consciousness, any time you expand your life,
you travel all over the world, and maybe your friend
(09:51):
or associate hadn't even been out of the US. We're
not judging, we're just observing. That means you have a
different mindset, you have a different way of thinking. I
remember in high school my best friend recy Paige. She's
made her transition. She was smarter than me. But I
(10:13):
went to college and she didn't. And I remember when
I went back home, there was a shift. And I
didn't want that to be a shift, but there was one,
all right, So think about your friendship. Healthy friendships involved support,
(10:34):
not constant criticism, belittling or making you feel bad about yourself.
So it would look like this, Oh you're gonna wear that,
Why do you always have to dress up? Why are
you getting a new car? Or you feel like that
it's competitive and that the person really struggles to be
(10:56):
happy for your successes. Gonna tell my story now, I
had a friend. She was really smart, he's a PhD.
But I realized if I was in a relationship, especially
with a wealthy man, which I was most of the time.
(11:16):
She would say, uh, I hadn't really, but what does
he do, you know, just make some little negative comment,
or if I wore something, wow, that color looks a
little drab on you. Or because I really had a
strong relationship with my father, all of us at the
(11:40):
church went into this male mentoring group where we had
one guy who just taught us about relationships and he
was like a father to us. And he really I
wasn't in the group initially, but he really vibed with
me because I guess I gave off the vibration of
(12:02):
I was accustomed to having a dad. And I remember
she said to me, why is it that all of
the mentors are always they always care for you? So
you know, those were major flags. But I just said, well,
you know, she didn't have a father, etc. But if
(12:24):
you are in a friendship and you have to hide
your successes. I remember that I did a big conference
and I asked her to come and she said, well,
I'm going to be out of town. And I asked
her daughter to work at one of my registration's table,
(12:44):
and do you know she did not go out of town.
And her daughter later told me years later, she did
not go out of town. And so those are examples.
I have a client and she's had a friend for years,
and that's my homegirl. I said, it may be your homegirl,
but you've outgrown her. And she bought a luxury car,
(13:09):
and because her friend was believing for a car, she
hid the fact that she bought a luxury car. So
you need friends in your life. We're not mad at them,
we're not upset with them, but you need to release them.
God is speaking to you. God is showing you we're
not upset with them. You need friends in your life
(13:33):
on your level or higher, because friendship is for a
reason or season or a lifetime. You want somebody that's
happy for you. Now, my bff, I'm happy for her.
She just brought a big commercial real estate property. She
just closed a big deal. I didn't close the deal,
(13:57):
but I'm just as happy for her as she is
for herself. When she purchased her million dollar home. This
is what she said, Constance is more happier for me
than I am. She's more excited about this. So you
want somebody that's gonna celebrate you. Okay, we talk about
when to let go betrayal or gossip. So a significant
(14:23):
betrayal of your friendship is like gossiping behind your back.
If you share with your friend and then they killing
somebody else, that's betrayal. And so my grandmama used to say,
a dog that takes a bond will bring a bond,
(14:44):
or is it a dog that brings a bone will
take a mall? What does that mean? If if that
person is constantly talking negative about other people, what you
think they're gonna be doing about you? All Right, we
talk about letting go of friendships are drifting apart. You know,
as people changes, I said earlier, your priorities change, your
(15:08):
values changed, your interest can shift. You naturally grow apart.
I remember someone said that they were dating this guy
and she was saying, I gotta get my passport renewed.
And he said to her, oh, say you one of
(15:29):
those big shots. Now that was just a feeling of
insecurity right there. But she had expanded her consciousness that
she wanted to travel. So, if you are the smartest
one in your group, you need to look for another
group and you need to make room for the relationships
(15:50):
that God has for you. I heard Kim Kardashian say
somebody that had been working with her I don't know
if it was the makeup artist or somebody had been
with her for you years and some matter asking well,
why did you let them go? I'm paraphrasing she said,
they couldnt go where I'm going? So are you holding
(16:10):
on to friendship because you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
You don't have to be nasty, you don't have to
be a just attitude. You can just make a decision
that you're going to begin to not speak with them
as much, to stand fully in who you are as
(16:32):
your new person, to set boundaries and say no, I
don't want to gossip, a, no, I don't want to
have dinner with you, etc. All right, because you no
longer have things that are in common, and that might
mean the friendship has run its course. Now there's nothing
(16:53):
wrong with that. I think that we have adopted the
belief that you gotta always be friends. Well, that ain't happening,
and so there might be, as I said earlier, a
lot of manipulation. Jealousy. You know, the Bible said jealousy
is crueler than the grave. If somebody is jealous of
(17:17):
you and envious of you, What is it in you
that would stay in that? So you say you don't
want to hurt their feelings, but you are hurting yourself.
And so I remove myself from relationships. It used to
take me awhile, but when I see a red flag
(17:40):
and the same behavior keeps occurring, and we've talked about
it over and over, I am removing my presence and
my essence from that relationship in silence. The most powerful
thing you could do this is for a romantic relationship
and a friendship, is to remove your power and your
(18:04):
essence from that relationship, and your behavior speak so loud
you won't have to say anything, all right, And then
this is the last thing. It's unhealthy because the friend
only contacts you when they want something. It is not
(18:26):
a mutual reciprocal relationships. Relationship should be I give you gift,
I give you gift. There are seasons when some of
my friends listen to me more, and there are season
when I listen to them more. All right, So it's
really a lack of support and one sidedness a friendship.
(18:48):
A friendship should always be a two way street. And
if you're putting in all of the effort. That's a
sign it's a one sided connection and it's time to
release that relationship because it no longer serves you. Wow,
(19:09):
think about that and be honest with yourself. What friends
do you have in your life right now that you
know you need to release and let go of so
that God can bring other people in your life on
your journey. See your life like a railroad track. You
(19:32):
on the train and you have different stops on the train,
so the train stops and the person who's in your
life now you need to get off of that train
and get on another train, wishing that person well so
that when you get on the new train. I got
(19:52):
that out, then God was send the right person that
would support you to your next level. Well, relationships are
so important, and I've seen people allow relationships to really
pull them back. I heard somebody say, next to God,
(20:12):
the relationships that you choose are crucial. So think about that,
and I'm gonna come right back and we're gonna talk
about what about your family members? Hold on everybody? All right?
(20:33):
So how do you let go of family members? You say,
in constance, you've gone to for we know that there's
a lot of dysfunctions in family. Some people have been
strange for years. Some people still mad at their mama
and their daddy. Some people hate going homes for the holidays,
(20:54):
all of the aboves. So how do you let go?
Do you have to participate pay in family activities constance?
You know what would that look like? So let's talk
about family. We know we all have some form of
dysfunction in our family. I think you need to recognize
(21:16):
the toxic patterns that exist in your family and realife
that wow, I really love my family. But one of
my clients said, cons I love my family, but they're crazy.
Now I didn't say that, And so you got to
recognize those toxic patterns. Knowing that Uncle Jim is always
(21:38):
gonna say something negative because he's drinking, Knowing that possibly
your mama can't even be happy for you because she's
envious of you. I've seen that so many times. Knowing
that your father will never say I love you because
he does not know how. So with family, you have
to prioritize your sin care and emotional well being by
(22:04):
setting firm boundaries. And when you do that, you're really
taking care of yourself. And it's gonna feel weird because
we're taught you're supposed to be in love with your family,
and but there are cases and people where you really
need to release them and let it go. I know,
(22:25):
whenever I used to go home all the time, my
mom would say, go and visit Uncle Joe, Go and
visit Aunt Lizzie, Go and visit unt aunt family and
some of those people I hadn't seen in years. And
I remember I was so skinny, tiny, yeo, like a
hundred one hundred pounds and I'm five to nine. And
(22:47):
I went home one time and I probably weighed one
hundred and twenty and one of my aunties said, ooh,
you gained a little weight, haven't you. Well, yeah, I'm
twenty years older. And so you know those kinds of things.
So start by understanding who the toxic family members are.
(23:09):
That means they're gonna always be critical girl when you're
gonna get married, girl, a son when you're gonna go
back to school, son, when you're gonna get a family.
So there's a lot of shame, there's a lot of criticizing. Uh,
sometimes there's a lot of guilt and control. You don't
(23:29):
ever come home anymore. You know and after all that
I've done for you, any of that that is toxicity.
I have had so many clients who've had to distance
themselves from their mom because their mom was so wounded
(23:52):
emotionally and psychologically. Their mom was so envious of their lives.
Their mom was so jealous, and that's a difficult choice
to make, all right. Another example of releasing family is
ignoring boundaries and just invading your privacy and knowing boundaries
(24:15):
might be, well, you know, I'm not really loaning any
more money. I remember I used to be the bank
in my family. Everybody came to constance and I always
said yes. I didn't know how to set boundaries back
then or say no. So in your family, are you
(24:37):
always a strong one? Are you always the one that
does the family reunion? Are you always the one that
puts everything together? And I'm gonna say, if you are,
you feel like a victim, and you full feel like
a martyr. Poor me, that's codependency. Poor me. I'm the
(24:57):
one that's always giving. You are the go to person
in your family. You do all of the work, You
coordinate everything. If there's a funeral, you're in charge. And
there's nothing wrong with that if that's what you desire.
But emotional blackmail is, well, after all I've done for
(25:20):
you and nobody knows how to do it like you do, etc.
Emotional blackmail is might be a sibling who says, well,
you don't live here in the city and you don't
really know what's going on, and might be really angry
and enraged at you because they're totally responsible by taking
(25:41):
care of the parents of your parents. So there's a
lot of drama and victimhood and sort of gas likes
you always having something negative to say. And so which
family guys You got to set and enforce boundaries why,
(26:06):
because your boundaries protect your emotional space. You're not punishing
your family. You cannot change your family, You cannot make
them behave like you want to. But if you feel
that you have done the best that you could and
that you have to really go through a whole recovery
(26:30):
process when you deal with your family members, it's time
to release them and let them go. You're not mad
at them, but you're choosing not to spend a lot
of your time and energy. I know of one person
they have a family text chain and so they be
(26:53):
texting everybody and all the stuff in there is negative.
Did you know that Mary did this and she left
her husband? And did you know Jane did not go
by and check on mom? Who wants to be a
part of that negativity? And I'm gonna say this again,
wounding hurting people will always hurt you. Wounded hurting people
(27:20):
will always try to wound you. And they may be
completely oblivious to it, but because they are wounded, they
live in that vibration. So you're gonna have to really
set boundaries with them. And when they try to get
in your business. No, I'm not comfortable discussing that. You
(27:43):
need to limit your contact if necessary. That means short
of visits, feer calls, and just being neutral about things.
So what do you think about what mama? Well, I
think mama is grown or whatever Mama wants wants to do.
I always say no. It is a complete sentence. So
(28:06):
you don't have to explain are you coming home for Christmas?
No period, you don't have to justify or explain. You
don't need approval. You're not going to be nasty, You're
not going to be any of that. And the last
two things I want to say before I go to
(28:27):
commercial always remember you can choose another family. To be
quite honest, Mike, I am closer to my friends here
in Atlanta. I only had one brother left. Over the
years I was closer. God gave me another family, and
(28:49):
God can give you a family that's not your blood family.
Some people call it your tribe. And the last thing
is that you need to make sure you're not walking
in unforgiveness against nobody in your family. If you're walking
in unforgiveness right now by something they did, something they said,
(29:12):
you need to release yourself. You need to make a decision.
I am going to release and forgive them and walk
yourself through the forgiveness process. And that's major. That's major
in families. How long are you gonna hold what you
(29:33):
feel against your sister, against your brother, against your mom,
against your dad. You gotta make a decision and walk
through that forgiveness. You know, I'm about to release this
and let it go a process. I'm going to be
right back everybody after these commercials. I want you to
(29:56):
meditate on that because I just feel by the spirit
that some of y'all are holding on to unforgiveness because
of stuff that's happened in your family. How long you're
gonna be made, how long you're gonna be upset, how
long you're gonna feel betrayed, how long you're going to
feel shamed, how long you're gonna be angry. It's time
(30:20):
for you to make a decision. That's it. I'll be
racked back. We're gonna be talking about romantic love.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Stay tuned, Observe anyone at the top of their game,
and the results will be the same. They've all had
valuable guidance and direction from a coach. If you are
ready to manifest your wildest dreams, you can experience my
thirty years of serving over ten thousand clients as a
professional counselor, Law of Attraction and certified dream coach. I
merge spirituality, law of attraction, and practical principles and strategies
(30:53):
to help you manifest your dreams. For more information, visit
Fulfilling your Purpose dot com.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
Are you ready to wild participants at your next organizational event?
Constance Arnold there's an unforgettable keynote and keynote plus speaker.
Constance will capture your audience and share informative and entertaining
messages that align with your vision. Her number one goal
is to empower and motivate audiences to take action. Contact
her at www dot fulfillingyourpurpose dot com.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
How to release a relationship when it's no longer serving you,
or how to release a relationship when you know that
you need to end it. I want to speak back
to any of you in the portion that I just
shared around family members, I just get the sense in
(31:47):
the spirit if any of you have unforgiveness, resentment, rage
and anger against anybody, especially your parents or siblings in
your family, you don't want to take that into twenty
twenty six. You got to make a decision that you
are going to whatever it takes, don't allow unforgiveness. Did
(32:12):
you know that unforgiveness is really aligned with debt? Did
you know that the vibration of unforgiveness is really aligned
with lack and scarcity because it's like you're saying you
owe me something, you owe me an apology, and they might.
(32:33):
But when you live in that vibration, when you forgive,
you're really it's like a release and an opening for
unlimited supply. But I just had to share that when
I came back after the commercial. Okay, all right, everybody,
we talking about how can you release a romantic relationship
(32:54):
when you know it's time. I'm speaking to women now.
Women we all know. Women in our own intuition, we
always know when it's not working. Women, we always know
that it's time to end or release that relationship. Somebody
(33:17):
told me, well, I don't want to hurt his feelings.
I said, but you're hurting yourself. You're unhappy, you're miserable,
you're not married. You've been with him for nine years.
You want to be married, so you're hurting yourself. So
these are some signs, ladies that if you're in a
(33:41):
romantic relationship, and gentlemen, you know, we put too much
pressure on romantic relationships. It has to make me happy,
it has to fulfill me, and all of that's important.
But you go to the relationship as much as possible,
book with the full cup. That doesn't mean that you're independent.
(34:04):
Did you know that they're calling it the gray divorce,
That more people in their sixties and seventies, you know,
gray hair, are getting divorced than any other age group,
sixties and seventies. And the reasons why are Wow, I
(34:28):
don't know how much life I have to live, but
I want to live it authentically and I want to
live it fully and I want to be happy. So
these are some signs if you're in a romantic relationship
you already know. If you know, you know you no
longer feel emotionally close or supported to that person, that
(34:50):
you can't really share your real self, your authentic self.
You can't really share your feelings, and you feel like
the com recessions are forced kind of surface y'all know
when I'm talking about shallow and tents and you really
dread seeing or talking to your partner when you used
(35:13):
to look forward to because you kind of feel like
you're walking on eggshells. Sounds like codependency to me, I've
been in this situation. When I'm about to share next,
you feel lonelier. Did I get that out in the
relationships that you were alone? These are all signs that
(35:36):
thank God for what the relationship was, what it brought
to me, But you deserve the best, and really you're
not being authentically real with that other person by allowing
him or her to find their person. All right, you
(35:57):
may feel like if one person is doing most of
the emotional or practical work. I always tell men women
we read more we study more, we go to more seminars.
I share with my mail clients. If you know all
of the stats in football and all of the stats
(36:17):
in basketball, you can know your woman. And so if
you feel like you're the one that says, let's get help,
let's do this, or if your partner dismisses your feelings
or boundaries, O MG, I've heard okay, guys, I love you,
(36:39):
but I've heard women say I've heard men say she's
too emotional? Is she too emotional? Or do you need
to learn how to really get in touch with your
own emotions? Wow? Are there are no boundaries? Boundaries might
be you work out day and then you have to
(37:01):
come home and do all the work and your partner
is sleep, or you're taking on the whole financial responsibility
and your partner is staying out late, or your partner
won't keep a job. I know of many situations like that,
(37:21):
and certainly not dogging men, but I know some situation
where the man on every job he gets, he just
it's the supervisor, it's the coworkers, it's the environment, and
his wife, his girlfriend, not even his wife. His girlfriend
(37:43):
has to work two jobs. So that is a lack
of respect and honored. And I'm telling you some if
you are not being respected and honored, would you say
that it is certainly time for you to release that relationship.
(38:04):
If there's been a lot of infidelity, lying, manipulation that
has not been addressed or repaired. This is what I
tell couples. Men say, well, I told I'm sorry when
it comes to infidelity, how long is it gonna take?
And I always tell men, as long as it takes,
(38:27):
it takes. It may have taken you just a couple
of nights to destroy trust, but it takes a while
for a woman to openly trust again. So notice I said,
if there's been a lot of lying, manipulation and infidelity
that is not being addressed, my question to you is
(38:50):
what is it in you? How do you see yourself?
What is your self image of yourself? For you to
remain in that relationship where lying, infidelity, and manipulation has
(39:10):
not been addressed, it's time to release, let go and
create a new life. If you don't feel emotionally and
physically safe with your partner, you know what time that is.
If you feel like that you have to earn love
(39:30):
that you don't deserve it. If you guys have different goals, values,
or visions about the future, they're no longer aligned. That
happens about the kids, about marriage, about lifestyle. If you
want to be married and he don't want to be married,
(39:53):
he has a right, but you also have a right
to say I no longer want to give my essence
and my prayer in this relationship and not be married.
If your goal is to be an entrepreneur, and maybe
if his goal is to be an entrepreneur and you
want to work a nine to five, you don't understand entrepreneurship.
(40:18):
Maybe your visions and your future no longer aligned. If
he wants kids but you don't want any children. Y'all
not married, your future no longer alignes. And so in
situations like that, you really want both people to really
(40:41):
be happy. I was talking to a client the other day.
If you want to be married and you are in
a relationship with a man who does not want to
be married, what are you doing. You deserve, just like
he deserves, to have the kind of relationship that he wants,
(41:05):
and you can't see a shared future that feels fulfilling
for both of you. Talk it out and then make
a decision. Wow, this was great, but this relationship really
needs to be released. All right, I'm just going through quickly.
(41:29):
These are all signs the universe is screaming to you
if every disagreement turns into a major fight or cold silence.
Y'all know what cold silence is, don't you. That's what
I used to do. He would say, you are right,
said m M everything. Okay, sure, that's cold silence. I've
(41:50):
known couples where one partner didn't even speak to the
other partner. That's manipulation for weeks. And he would say, conscious,
I've given her everything. She has a million dollar home,
she has this, she has that. And I said, sir,
he was a doctor. I said, doc, it's really nothing
(42:12):
you could do to make her happy because that has
to come from the inside out. Okay, important issues just
never get resolved. That just keep resurfacing. I always say,
when you don't deal with your stuff, your stuff is
gonna deal with you. You and your partner refuse to
(42:35):
communicate or compromised. And you already know in any relationship
that has to be compromised, it's my way or the
high way. You're gonna be by yourself. So these are
major life issues. And it is a difficult decision to make.
(42:57):
But why would you spend your life being unhappy? All right?
So this is the mental and the physical well being
we're talking about the romantic relationship. The relationship drains your
energy and your self esteem. If you always being put down,
(43:18):
you need to lose weight. Look at this house? What's
wrong with you? How come you can't do anything wrong?
Who wants to be in an emotionally abusive relationship. I
was talking to a couple and the man was upset
because his wife had gained weight. I said, but she
(43:39):
just had three of your children back to back, right, yes,
and she's working full time right yes, and her body
hasn't fully recovered. See he goes to the gym every day.
But he was being critical of her. And so if
you are in a relation relationship that drains your energy,
(44:03):
that puts you down, that decreases your self esteemed, the
answer is why. Now let them make a statement. I
never tell a woman to leave her husband. I never
tell a man to leave his wife. So I'm really
talking to people who are not married. But even if
(44:27):
you are married. When I did a coupless conflame, I
would always say, would God want you in an emotional
and physically abusive relationship, I'm not gonna go there. And
most of the time you feel anxious, sad, and just
(44:51):
out of it because of the relationships. Your friends and
your family they see it, they see what's happening, and
they are concerned about you. And this is the most
important one. Ladies are intuition. A woman always knows. My
(45:17):
daddy used to say, trying to put a peg into
a round circle, it ain't gonna work. Just your gut
feeling knows that something isn't right. You try communicating, working
on the relationship, and authenticity is the highest vibration. And
(45:41):
when you are in something that is not bringing you life.
I'm not saying everything gotta be perfect in the relationship
that ain't happening. I'm not saying that your partner don't
have foughts. I hadn't said any of that. But in
your intuition and the spirit is always speaking, it is
(46:04):
not an easy choice. You know in your gut when
it's time to release that relationship. So if you are
just feeling just like overly responsible for your partner's well
being and his choices, you don't know what kind of
(46:25):
mood he or she is gonna be in. One man
told me, he said, I don't never know who gonna
meet me in to do a constant Okay, that if
you feel guilty about focusing in on yourself, and the
real truth is you lost your identity because you are
so immersed in that relationship. Your own sense of self
(46:51):
worth revolves around your partner. Here's are her goals, here's
are her friends, and they're in. And so you don't
set boundaries. You don't know how to say no because
I've heard a lot of people say I don't want
to rock the boat, and you've heard me say, if
(47:13):
you have any friendship or relationship where you cannot say no,
if you have any friendship or relationship where you cannot
express how you feel, if you have any friendship relationship
where you can't have the hard conversations, that's a sign
(47:40):
you don't even remember who you are anymore because all
of your attention has gone on that relationship. You've kind
of feel like you become a caretaker, rescue in your partner. Okay,
ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting ready to make an announcement.
Drum roll, please, you cannot fix your partner drum roll,
(48:04):
Pete please, I got that you cannot change your partner.
If your partner is suffering from any addiction, any unresolved
childhood stuff, any anger or rage, you cannot fix him
(48:26):
or her. That person has to make the decision that
I want help, and you can make the decision. Wow,
I've done my best in this relationship and it's time
for me to release and move on. And sometimes the
(48:48):
reason that people don't move on is just like a
fear of abandonment. So you stay in it and you
don't really bring stuff up to avoid any kind of conflict,
and so you stay in unhealthy situations to avoid being alone.
(49:12):
O MG, I could stay on that forever. And so
you stay in unhealthy situations and you know, they don't
studies of women who have stayed in toxic relationships and
physically what it does to your heart, your body, your seals,
(49:33):
your you know, just your inner physical being, not to
mention the emotional part. And then lastly, what I got
so much I want to say is the person is
just too dependent on you for emotional stability and self worth.
(49:56):
You're their god. You're there it girl, You're the it man.
They come to you for everything you feel sad, you
can't be your full self. I remember a one couple
and the man he finished high school, but she wanted
to go to college and he was so insecure. You
(50:20):
don't need to go up there, and who's gonna be
looking at you? And she's like, I'm gonna be in class.
So another person's insecurity, really hampering, hindering and slowing you down.
I always say that your purpose and destiny should never
(50:41):
be hindered, slowed down, or diminished by another person you choose. So,
ladies and gentlemen, this has been a real and raw show.
Take a look at your life as the Holy Spirit
(51:04):
to not only show you you already know in the
area of family, in the area of friendship, in the
area of a romantic love relationship. We're not mad at
these people, we are not blaming them. But we have
awakened to who we are. We have recognized our own selves.
(51:30):
We are beginning to love our selves. We are beginning
to accept our selves. We are at a different level.
We are moving into a different version. And because we are.
When you move to a high version, when you move
to a different level, your choice is changed. When you
(51:54):
love yourself, you're not going to stay in abusive, toxic relationships.
When you love yourself, you're gonna set boundaries. When you
love yourself, you're gonna understand that our relationships are not
for a lifetime. When you love and care for yourself
and you are becoming authentic, you're walking, excuse me, walking
(52:17):
in your authenticity, which is the highest vibration, which says
this is who I am. And when you know who
you are, there are just certain things that you cannot accept.
If you want to be married, and this man does
not want to be married, you have a right to say,
(52:39):
this is what I want. I'm not trying to make
you want to be married. But I'm too authentic with
my own self. I'm too in touch with my own
needs not to walk fully in that love yourself enough
to release these toxic relationships, these wounded relationships, of these
(53:07):
hurting people. Hurt people, hurt people. And I had a couple.
This is the last thing I'm gonna say. And she
was coming to me for coaching, and she asked me upfront,
she said, now after I coached you, am I gonna
leave my husband? I said, I can't answer that question.
(53:29):
I said, all I can say is when you change,
the relationship would change. She said, what do you mean
when you change on the inside, your behavior is going
to change, Your thinking is going to change, your responses
are going to change. So usually the relationship shifts because
(53:51):
he or she sees another person. And you know, she said,
she said, give my coaching, said to somebody else, she said,
because I know if I get healed and I change
that my husband would leave me. And I'm gonna stay
(54:16):
in this relationship even though i know it's not good
for me. And I said, okay, So, anybody who is
interested in changing relationships and friendship contact me for a
complimentary twenty minute coaching discovery call if you know you're
(54:40):
ready to move out of a romantic relationship before the
end of the year. Guys, you know I wrote a
book on it, How to Attract and Manifest Genuine Love,
And the first part of that book devs in healing yourself.
You never choose any higher than how you see yourself.
(55:02):
If you are have estrangement in your family, if you're
mad at your siblings, at your mama, at your daddy,
if you are estranged from your family and you need help,
you're ready for help to heal forgive and release that pain.
(55:25):
Let's do a discovery call. This has been a powerful show. Everybody.
I tell you what the relationships are of God, but
you want to choose healthy, healing, flowing, abundant relationships. I
want you to share this with your friends, with your
(55:47):
girlfriend's guides, share it with your bros, Share it with
your coworkers, because we want to be healed. God created
us to live life and live it more Bundy. This
is Constance Arnold. Everybody. I want you to make a
decision to really create and manifest a great week.
Speaker 1 (56:08):
Thank you for listening, to think, believe, and manifest. Constance
Arnold will be back next week with another great show
just for you. For more information, please visit Fulfillingyourpurpose dot
com
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