The Woody Show May 8th 2023 Podcast

What's the lamest excuse to get out of work?, Rock band, Race Horse or Adult Movie? & more!

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
It's due to the graphic nature ofdisaprogram listener discretion. Is it fly the
Woody Show, I'll play It's TheWoody Show Insensitivity Training or the lining Clean

(00:29):
coc class is now in session.Good morning everybody, morody, who's feeling
all fresh? Yeah? Now thatpesky weekend took forever. You know what

(00:55):
I'm saying. Yeah, it's Mondaymorning. It's May Eba, twenty twenty
three, and welcome to a newweek here on The Woody Show. I'm
Woody. That's raving. There's greatgory. Menace is here made the eighth
be with you see Bass? Well, now, our that's how you wrote
it, all right. Menace isour social media director. You can find
us. You can follow us atthe Woody Show on Instagram and Twitter,

(01:19):
or on Facebook, Facebook dot comslash the Woody Show. Good morning to
you see Bass. We're out here. How are you, sir? No?
Just fine? Thanks for it?All right? There we go?
Yeah, this big cocktail party orwe here about it? Yeah, Sammy's
here. Good morning. We gotbored. We got Caroline there on The
Woody Show production department. Let's see, we got Vaughan. He's our video
producer. Morgan is here you onthe phones at eight seven seven forty four

(01:42):
Woody. That's eight seven seven fortyfour Woody coupled up for you this morning
our weekend homework topic. We're gonnahave some of your feedback from that that
you left on Facebook. The lamestexcuse that you've used to get out of
work, lady mist excuse that you'veused to get out of work, And
did it work or not? Orwas it so lame it didn't even work?
But yeah, we'll get into that. I mean, I've got some

(02:05):
good stories. I don't know ifI've ever used an excuse to get out
of work, Yeah, I've never. If I've called out I'm legits yea.
Yeah. Like I've worked with plentyof people, especially in this stupid
industry. Yeah, I mean themost ridiculous things you've ever heard in your
life. Definitely likes stories. Thisis the same people. Yeah, And
this is the same type of people, you know, like everybody who works

(02:27):
in it all kind of and theyhave there's a lot of similarities, same
vibe, same kind of personality.A lot of times they start to look
like each other, like engineers typically, like I know with radio stations,
like the guys who fix all theequipment, get the transmitters running. They're
always kind of a certain type,you know, lawyers always kind of a
certain vibe or whatever. Same thingwith people who just use excuses to get

(02:50):
out of work, right, becauseyou should have at least vacation days or
sick days or something like that thatyou can use. But well, we'll
get into that topic. That'll becoming up this morning for you. Plus
the salt to the redneck news storyof the week. The votes that were
sending in over the weekend will tellyou he is moving on in the playoff
round. That in a whole bunchmore rabies, nerd and out. I
will check in on the what doyou show mail? Call a couple of

(03:10):
voicemails. You might be interested inSea Bass. Someone's calling you out.
Oh we'll see. Yeah, I'lltell you it involves animals. See how
wrong they are. It involves animals. Okay, so we got that now.
When SeaBASS did the weekend audio,we had that story about all the
bees that we're attacking. The momshe had to get that photo shoot with

(03:32):
her kids. Yeah, so anyway, this mom she got stung like seventy
five times she's yeah, and they'resaying, like this time of year,
you're more likely to encounter swarms ofbees because they're out looking for new places
to find pollen. Some golfers gotswarmed at a tournament in Mexico last week.
This mom in Arizona who he heardabout. They were doing that family

(03:54):
photo shoot with the bloom and everythingelse. But she got her kids in
the car and while she was doingthat, they sung the crap out of
her. She ended up in thehospital. I just say, I didn't
realize all that part too, Likeended up in the hospital. Reminds me
of that movie My Girl Macaulay Culkin. Momkan just yeah, railed on.
Now here's the thing we had thosetips from, was it Inside Edition?

(04:16):
Yeah, don't fight the beast,don't fight the beast, don't piss him
off. More punch of bee inhis face. You're supposed to run in
a straight line, cover your faceand get inside. And also we had
mentioned don't jump in water. That'sa myth. I always thought that that
would work. Yeah, but yeah, don't do that because they'll wait it
out. They'll be patient. Youhave like a if you have an air
tank under there. Sure, yeah, yeah, suck it bees. So
that was one bee story. Andthen I saw this thing over the weekend,

(04:41):
this other story. This woman Iguess was live tweeting her delay with
her flight was a Delta flight fromHouston to Atlanta delayed for three hours because
there were bees on one of thewings. Great's favorite. Gross. Nobody
sure why they picked that spot tohang out. There were a ton of
them. Like you ever see apicture like where the queen is stuck inside

(05:03):
of a car and the entire outsideof the car, it's just like it's
a carpet of bees. Well lookat the Look at the you know,
on the end of the wings.On some of the planes, they have
that part that sticks up, yes, and I hate it when they don't
have that. Yeah. Well anyway, look look at all the bees.
It's circled. I mean, it'sjust covered. Right. They just take
off and they'll fly, I know. Okay, So okay, so that's

(05:26):
I was thinking, the same thing. Just go. Yeah. So anyway,
not sure why they're there, butDelta wouldn't even board the plane until
the bees were gone. Somebody suggestswhat Greg just said, you know,
just go, They're not gonna beable to hang on and the plane takes
off, but Delta didn't agree.They said that they were concerned for the
welfare of the bees, and sothis woman is now live tweeting the situation

(05:46):
from the terminal. First update,the gate agent says they're bringing in the
beekeeper. Second update, beekeeper cancelsbecause they're not allowed to touch airplanes.
Oh, I guess they're afraid,like whatever they use or whatever could have
affect something. They don't want tobe liable. I guess. The captain
says they're looking to find a hoseto spray them off, but can't find
one. That sounds like a terribleidea. Can't find a hose, captain

(06:10):
says the fire department at the airportcan't come, and he's not sure why.
Gate agent announces they don't have anotherbee free plane to sub in.
Next update, ground crew tries toblow exhaust from a vehicle onto the wingtip.
The bees were not impressed. Deltaseems to be throwing in the towel

(06:32):
and gives the gate to another flight, meaning the passengers are stuck. Flight
crew leaves, never a good sign, and then I guess once the flight
crew left, they turned the planeon so they can move it out of
the gate area, and as soonas they turn the engines on, all
the bees. Yeah. All thehead to do this whole time is just
turn on the plane engine engine andthe bees would leave. Yeah, you

(06:56):
can do anything. They took offtheir worry about the safety of the bees,
as if they would falter their death. They have these things called wings,
they'd be funning. Well, Ithink you know they didn't want to
kill them. Everybody bees now,but I tell you what, if it's
between that or an on time flight, you kill all those bees. All
those bees are dead. See,you know what, we need some more

(07:16):
John Waynes in this world. Sothey goddamn fire department, camp compartment.
Sorry, can't come over there withthe highwood. I took care of those
bees out there. So the Bplane moved to another gate. Passengers finally
boarded, took off three hours late. So dumb. They probably like all
misconnections because they'd go into Atlanta.Yeah, that's all you do there.

(07:36):
Yeah, might across the street neighborshave bee hive and or what do you
call it? The bee hive?The Yeah, they have the face where
they have their actual bees. Theylook like bee box bee boxes, and
they like to leave every once ina while, and they'll hover in clouds
and fly all over your the neighborhood. And then I said to him,
I said, I think your beesare out. He said, oh,
they'll come back. They just flyaround for funds. You live in a

(08:00):
neighborhood where they go. Yeah.Massive. My neighbor had a big bee
and he's allergic to beast things,so it's good. That was not good.
Guys, you don't live on afarm, Like, come out rate
them. I don't care. Andlike, now we're not allowed to do
that. We've got to come andcollect them and relocate. He's like,
f that. Uh. Here's somethingelse every day in New York City.
This guy in the Bronx, hewas attacked by a wild peacock. Nice,

(08:24):
okay, docks are dicks. Yeah. It picked him in the leg
and then flew into a tree.Uh, he was okay. The peacock
was picked up, taken somewhere wherewho knows, who cares where it came
from, who knows. But here'sthe dude who got attacked talking to the
news about his peacock adventure. You'restanding outside and I was bugging peacock.

(08:45):
That's who. Well, you knowit's the It just dont and running up
the hill to go with traffic.So you know, we had to try
to keep the birds. See we'vechased in a chapter the side to gate
in the gate trying to pitch me. She did a food tree. I
know that flat, I didn't flat. Yeah, yeah, I didn't know
that flat. Yeah. Old oldschool singer Wayne Noon. Oh how big

(09:11):
issue in his neighborhood with peacocks.Yeah, because because his peacocks had kids
and then they just ran ran theneighborhood and then the neighbors were complaining.
He goes, oh, those aremy peacocks, those are the descendants.
The universe has a way of leadingyou to where you're supposed to be a

(09:33):
moment you're supposed to be there.The Woody shows, I welcome back everybody.
Yeah, it is Monday morning forgetting a big, brand new week
You got the wood to show.Raby's got nerd now the zoon big weekend
for guardians. Of course, noone's surprised by that. Yeah, Raby
saw it before everybody else. Yeah, she hosted like this this screening.

(09:56):
Yeah, and she said up wasvery emote now what was it emotional like
because of the story itself or justbecause it's like the franchise is coming to
an end. Yeah, yeah,all right, and the secuness of Christ
and yeah the budness. Yeah.How how do you think it stacks up
with all the other Guardians? Well, Guardians one is still my favorite,
but when I left Guardians two Ididn't really like it that much. So

(10:18):
but so I like three a lotbetter than two. Okay, all right,
so I would rank them one,three, two. I still have
yet to see any of them really. Yeah, well, yeah, I'm
shocking, and I like like whenI when I do watch the Marvel movies,
I end up liking most of them. Yeah, and Guardians, I
think is something you would like thatI would like. Yeah, I just
haven't washed yet. Like my wifeand kids wanted to go see the new

(10:41):
one this past weekend and they did, but I didn't go. I like,
I don't want to see it outof order because it wouldn't really even
mean anything too, because you don'teven know who these people aren't. No,
yeah, like I have a generalidea, you know, um Grood
of course he is Groot. Yeah. And then the rocket Rocket I mean
you'd be so lost with yeah,you know, but I should be because

(11:05):
I think I will, like,yeah, start with number three. Would
truly you would definitely love number onebecause also it's a lot about music and
yeah, you know, music hasplayed a big role in all of them.
Yeah, and I know like alot of the music from Guardians.
Uh, and I do like allthat stuff. I don't want to feel
it's not about music. It's justright just use it effect. Yeah,

(11:26):
yeah, like red Bone and allthese other songs that are in there.
Yeah, all right, anyway,so Raby's Nerd Now is coming up here
in just a moment. A coupleof the holidays. May eighth is National
have a Coke Day? Okay,not have some coke like you know,
a smile and a coke was campaignback in the day. I was gonna

(11:46):
do cocaine. Today's Reward Yourself Day, all right, that sounds fun.
Is on the food tip National CoconutCream Pie Day. Yo? Love it?
Oh yeah, I love it.I hate coconut, but I do
of a good coconut cream pie.What's they hate about coconut? I'm also
surprised because you like all those drinksthat coming coconuts and yeah that makes no

(12:07):
sense. Kind of a tropical kindof a guy. You know, I'm
very picky on the coconut item side. You consume love cocon like mounds and
almondjoy m Yeah, all right,love that love it. It's National give
someone a Cupcake Day. I'd exceptsweet, pretty good. National Student Nurse
Day. Also today is a NationalWomen's check Up Day, and then you

(12:30):
probably team that up because it's alsoWorld Ovarian Cancer, which every time I
see stuff like that, it's remindingme to schedule my colonoscopy. Yeah,
do it got get well? No, it's like getting checked up and so
yeah, because it's one of thosethings. It's like it's it's not a
regular dentist every six months thing,but now it is when I have to
your doctor told you to get thatthing scheduled. Yep. Yeah, I'm

(12:54):
officially the age where you need togo do that. I got no problem
with that. You can put stuffin my butt if you want, you
know, prostate check colonoscopy. Yeah, all right, eight seven seven forty
four. What do Let's see whatyou left for us over the weekend on
the after hours voicemail. Now thisone, this is a vet who says

(13:15):
that Sea Bass is wrong about somethingwe'll see wrong about service animals. Hey,
guys and Sea Bass, I loveyou, but you need to look
up what a service animal is.You're not right go to the eighty A
website. I'm a vet, Ihave a dog. I mean, you
don't have to have any of thesescam websites that want you to pay for

(13:37):
certifications or registration all that. Basicallytwo things. One is the dog trained
to perform a specific task right now. That's that's where we run into a
problem a lot, because a trainedservice animal is going to crap on the
floor of the grocery store or arestaurant or some other place that these people
are are bringing them in. Andso far he said nothing wrong, and

(13:58):
he said nothing that I said,as far as I didn't say, you
have to go to a scam website, and I guess the scam website,
right. Yeah. Well, wewere talking about how a lot of people
will just go online and just buysome vest that means nothing and right,
or a or a card that meansnothing. Yeah. Ye, my dogs
are trained. They catch blue raysin their mouth is trained. That's getting
to what is that task? Thoseare actually the only two things anyone can

(14:20):
ask. You don't have to havesome sort of a vest on the dog
or anything like that. I knowthat because mine is trained. And also
you don't have to have some sortof certified trainer. That's all there is
to It's those two things. Soyou can say, you know, service
animals are always calm, and ithas to be a certain breed or what
have you. That's not true.Those two things go to the ad website.

(14:45):
We're just talking more about behavior becauseI remember that part of the conversation,
like if if you really was atrained service animal, a real service
animal, it would be more behaved. Right. He's saying the correct things,
and he's also not saying anything thatI said right at all, So
we're spreading figure you see, batsin this band is correcting you. This
is a classic case of ear drumsclosed. And I wanted to hear what

(15:05):
I wanted to hear so I canmake a point in brandstand. He doesn't
sound very happy. He sounds likea guy who probably could use an emotional
support animal. Right for sure,this dude should be taking his dog to
the grocery store. Does he havea does he have a hearing eye dog.
You see what time of day heleft this message. Maybe it was
very, very lazy. He wokeup in the middle of the night just
thinking about it. He has ahearing ear dog, I should say,

(15:26):
because he needs that for his eardumbs. Get educated. I love you
man, You're good dude. Seatsand some of the best content on the
shows. That's what a service animalis, all right, guys, hope
you have a great thing all rightthere? Yeah, he was correct and
didn't say that. Yeah. Ona related tip, another after hour's voicemail,
somebody calling in about what happens whenpeople bring pets sorry into his restaurant.

(15:52):
Hey, guys, being in therestaurants for the last twelve years,
I'm so against people bringing their petsin. But the only thing I'm able
to ask is is this your pet? I cannot ask if it's a service
dog only because of ADA guidelines forhim from asking that. So all I
can ask is is this your pet? And if they say no, it's
a service dog, I can arguewith them. I have to allow them
to bring the dog in or thecat or whatever the heck they want to

(16:15):
bring without papers or without a vest. So it's kind of about you know
sol. There also emotional support animalsare not service animals. But do you
really feel that's sad that you can'twalk your ass into a Walmart that you
have to bring some dirty little animalwith you? Put yourself together. I

(16:37):
am not a shot at Sammy,so he's clean that sacid fired. That
second part is accurate about emotional supportblah blah blah. The first part is
not fully accurate though. Actually thefirst guy that called in was more was
more on the nose is Yes,you as the business owner have to be
a DA compliant me ce best.I don't don't have to uh, And
that's there are two questions. Isyou can ask is this a service dog?

(17:00):
And what services are? Is itdesigned or trained to perform for you?
Because now you could just lie aboutthat. Sammy could say, oh,
I have seizures, I have abalanced disorder where I fall, I
might fall over. I need thisdog, you'll get help like. But
the thing is, most of theselazy losers like Sammy don't think they don't
have that in their back pocket readyto go. So let's say emotional support

(17:22):
strained to love. Somebody ask youthat question. Would you make something up
and lie about it or no,I don't. I don't lie no,
and I don't take her place asif somebody asks me to not bring her
in, I won't. I'm notone of those people. But most no,
no, most I would just leave. I would just go home.
I wouldn't go into wherever it was. I'd take her with me um,
But I don't. I got theemotional support so that she could live with

(17:48):
me anywhere, because they don't allowpets everywhere rule. Here's the thing too,
well for an apartment Yeah, they'lllet you in with your dogs so
you don't have to pay the fees, but yeah, skirt the rule.
That's another thing too. If rulesfees, they may be a dog free
complex otherwise, And I think thatyour apartment complex doesn't have to do that
for you, like unless they needa real, actual doctor's note. But
like what happened at my apartment complex, they don't know the actual they're not

(18:12):
really sure and they don't want tobe. And like the guy who just
called the restaurant owner, they're afraidof being in violation of the rules,
so they won't even push back tothe point of the act because that restaurant
owner can ask more questions than whathe said there. He could, He
could be a little bit more forcefulif he wanted to. And same thing
with Sammy's apartment complex is they could. If they could have pushed back and
say, way, hold on ano, I need an actual psychologist or

(18:33):
psychology, then they're going to geta bad Yelp review exactly, and you're
not getting my business. I alsocould just lie and have a dog in
there with me and not tell themat all them by the goddamn rules society.
Yeah, it's not. And mydog is part of my family and
needs to live with me wherever Iam, does it. Dog doesn't bother

(18:56):
me, there are rules, doesn'tbother me anywhere. This is ing.
I got to move on before thisgets start, right, I don't want
anything boiling over. It's too earlyin a week for that. All right,
Monday morning, Rave, I'm sureit's a lot of Guardians. But

(19:18):
what are you nerding out about today? So, of course Guardians three was
number one at the box office thisweekend, and we'll talk about it more
tomorrow because the final tally is goingto be out later on today. Now
we talked about this on Friday thatthe OG Yellowstone is coming to an end
her season five, So Yellowstone willbe done this year. It's over,

(19:38):
and so they're gonna have what they'recalling a direct sequel to the OG Yellowstone
and they're gonna start it like threeweeks after Yellowstone ends. Okay, that's
good going, and Matthew McConaughey isin talks to start in It would be
interesting. Um, but I mean, havin acted in a while, Kevin
Costner's a movie star. He gottired of yellow done after five seasons,

(20:00):
So maybe you know, Matthew McConaugheywill do a solid five and then go
on to do other things. Yeathe vibe. Yeah, Yeah. We've
talked about how Peacock and Paramount Plusare just bleeding money from their parent companies.
Well, HBO Max is actually turninga profit for Warner Brothers. Was
reported by my nemesis, you know, David Zaslop, that streaming saw.

(20:23):
I'm thinking this is probably HBO Maxand Discovery Plus together have netted a fifty
million dollar profit. So I meanfifty billion. When you're talking about these
movies and shows and all that stuff. That doesn't sound like much. But
consider Peacock's seven hundred million dollar lossin one quarter. They can use that

(20:44):
to pay your nemesis. They could, yes, give David or at least
he is killing it menace. Youhave probably seen this story. I thought
this was unbelievable. I saw iton the Verge. Over nine million people
watched an illegal copy of the SuperMario Brothers movie last weekend on Twitter.
Yeah, Twitter, I did seethat. Yes, it showed up on

(21:07):
a Friday and the Twitter user uploadedthe entire movie. It stayed up there,
openly violating copyright laws until Sunday.Wow. Yeah. Well, here's
the thing. They don't have anyuser support. So when you know they
took away all the blue check marks, I said on air, I still
had mine because I needed some usersupport, right, because allegedly you be

(21:32):
pushed up to the top or supportright, And I don't know. There's
no employees that worked there. There'sno one to help out. And still
I don't know how to end mysubscription to it. You need user support
to end up. Oh my god, that's so tom. So if you
do have one of those blue checkmarks, you can upload videos up to

(21:53):
sixty minutes long. If you're usingthe Twitter website. So that's what this
person did. Uploaded sixty minutes someMarian Brothers and then loaded the back and
there it sat all weekend. Wow, like you said, man, as
if there's nobody monitoring, how arethey going to take it down? You
can't. That was absolutely insane.Keeping eye on Twitter maybe for movies.

(22:18):
Yeah, I'm Rabian. For morenerds stuff, check out the nerd Not
podcast at the Woody Show dot com. Nerd All right, thank you very
much, Rabel, you got adog. We got some more Woody Show
for you. Next, hang onthe Woody Show. We'll be back in
a six I have a bob.This is the Woody Show. It was

(22:40):
right in the middle of the dayyesterday. I was thinking to myself,
it would be nice to just likecall out tomorrow. How would that work?
Oh? Man, you know,there's just there's too many moving parts.
Yeah, with with this job,which I've also thought about him,
like, man, what if Iwas legitimately sick or really Yeah, I
mean I guess you could figure itout. But yeah, it's just it's

(23:03):
not fair to anybody involved if wejust like called out last second right like
that. It's not that we haven'tthought about it unless you have to go
to the hospital because your appendix isabout spurs, right like something something like
that. While we have our weekendhomework topic, we've got a lot of
feedback from you guys. We're gonnabe taking your phone calls and your text
messages. What's the lamest excuse thatyou have used or tried to use to

(23:26):
get out of work? So it'llbe coming up for you this hours.
You get into another few hour ofinsensitivity training for a politically correct world.
It's Monday morning. It's maybe eighth, twenty twenty three. I'm Woody.
That's Ramy. There's Great Gore,good morning, Menace is here? What
is up, Woody? We've gotSea Bass, We've got Sammy, Good
morning, Bart and Caroline do ontheir thing in the Woody Show production department.

(23:48):
That's it would be I think themost difficult for if we just called
out last second yea and Caroline Yeah, and then Sammy and Morgan Sure,
Morgans here, good morning. Morethe faun he's our video producer. Phones
are open at eight seven seven fortyfour. You can hit us up with
the text over to two two nineeight seven I'm not one of those people,

(24:11):
by the way, who takes greatpride like I've never used a sick
day. I've never It's it's it'snothing like that. I've never taken my
vacation time. Right, Yeah,I'm not. I'm not one of those
people. I just I mean,a knock on wood. I can't remember
the last time I had to callout say. It's very rare. Yeah,
yeah, very like I'm not comingin here with a fever right now,
you know, like if I'm headcold or something like that, I

(24:33):
mean, what are you gonna do? Although we do work that's a thing.
We do work with people who ifthey have the slightest cold, there's
such hypochondriac like they will not cometo work slightest cold cold allergies and not
even like they'll work from home andthey'll just do their show from home,
which is very possible these days,very crazy, you know, if you
have to do like a little oneoff thing or these times where I'm out

(24:56):
of town, you know, fordifferent things like my mom or whatever,
and I can then the show frommy mom's house. Yeah I don't even
live there, but like my homesetup is even better than that. Yeah,
So if I was just worried aboutnot getting other people sick, I
can still do my job so easy. Yeah. Now, if you're like
laid out in bed fever can barelymove without barfing or exactly whatever, that's

(25:18):
that's different. But man, thereare some other people who are the opposite
of that. Nope, hang now, yeah there's another person. There's another
person that we work with who ifsomebody else is not feeling well, they
will like freak out that this guy'sfalling in and make sure they go home.
Oh yeah, I'll go to thebosses. Yeah, yeah, I
won't be there. Yeah, that'strue. Do you need to go you

(25:40):
need get out of here. Youdon't get everybody sick. Oh my god,
the thing you just described and you'relaid out fever, can't move.
That always happens to me, basicallyon the first day when we have vacation,
and then I'll spend five of sixdays mega sick. Well, I
wonder what that's about. I wastrying to I don't know what it's about,
because we always have a party rightbefore vacation where we're in a small

(26:04):
room with a thousand people, right, Yeah, were shaking hands, Yeah,
and talking. Yeah, and thenwe get sick. It's easy answer.
Heard a theory that where people saythe body that I was going body
and the mind aren't really connected,so the body knows. Oh like you're
letting go. You have some downtime. Now you're gonna get sick. Yeah,

(26:26):
like your body just kind of liketime to rest. It's like the
burnout factor. Yeah, you knowit just finally. Oh cool, Right
now we can attack you and makeyou ill. Yeah, we'll take your
calls lamest excuse you've used to getout of work. Oh man, we
had, did we? I don'tthink we played the voicemail. I have

(26:48):
a voicemail which I'm not going toplay, but I don't want it.
I played it for you guys inthe room. I think it was one
of the other employees calling in likeover the top with the dramatics like oh
my god, I'm so sick.Missus left for their manager. The managers
shared it with me, right,I'm like, boys, this for the
air or not? Right? Andthen maybe go away for the weekend.

(27:11):
Yes, of course. Oh mygod, what about our old phone screen.
She's notorious for that. Nobody thatwe worked with currently, this is
like years ago where many many manysick days, so many sick days and
like or excuses for whatever. Butman, once the weekend hit and there
was like a festival of some kindof some kind of weekend plan to go

(27:32):
out of town that there was somethingMonday through Thursday sick sick, sick sick,
and then Friday off to what isthat, like good thing you healed
justin? Yeah. Now somebody whohas been fired a number of times in
my career for a lot a lotof like really dumb stuff like stuff,
It's like, really you got firedfrom Uh, it's amazing to me this

(27:56):
stuff that people don't get fired Iknow where it's so obvious that this is
just excuse. Yeah, you know, you're just gaming the system, you're
being lazy, and yet nothing everhappens. Dude. The uh these people
I know, they worked with agirl that would always call in sick every
time she had her period and everyoneknew and then she would be off for

(28:18):
like fort days. Oh wow,every month? How do you get away
with that stuff? And what?See, I don't really understand, like
I would think like after the firstcouple periods, whatever happens to you?
I'm asking the ladies. It wasn'tlegitimately sick. I mean that it can

(28:40):
be really bad. I'm wondering ifshe had some sort of doctors she had
a condition. My friends were friendswith her. She would just use it
as an excuse not to go towork. Yeah, and never got fired.
But like once you okay, soonce you know, like okay,
this is how my body. You'renever used to it, especially if it's
crippling. But isn't there something There'sgot to be something that you can do
for it. That's the worst part. Really. Have you ever called out

(29:04):
with one or because of one?No? But there were times where it
was really bad. Luckily I didn'thave work or anything that day. Had
I had something to do, nochance. Oh wow, they can't you
just roll up a heating pad,stuff it up there and then called a
day and then go to work andyou're heating pad tampon. I don't,

(29:25):
That's what I'm telling you. Sometimesthey just can't cure your symptoms. Now
you're talking about legit stuff, butI'm talking about a girl. Just use
it as an experience. Yeah,let's say hi to Matt. Hey,
good morning, Matt, Matt,good morning. How are you doing good.
So what do you got for it? Layman's excuse or whatever you used
to try to get out of work. So I actually don't use this excuse.

(29:48):
I hate hearing lame excuses. SoI have a posse with my employees
where if they need a personal day, they just text me that they put
their pants and they're good to go. So this is like, k excuse.
Yeah, I give them the lameexcuse, so I don't have to
hear any lame excuses here. Yeah, all right, all right, that's
good. That's kind of like thewink, like, you know, like,
yeah, yeah, I'm totally gonnabe there, wink, Right,

(30:11):
but I proved my pants I'm notcoming all right, all right, matty
man, appreciate it. All right. So for you, what's the lamest
excuse that you have used? Oryou know what I would love to hear
if you are a manager of people, Oh, what have you heard?
What are the lamest excuses that you'veheard? I'm sure eight seven seven forty

(30:32):
four Woody is the number you cancall in with eight seven seven forty four
Woody. You can also text usover to two to nine eight seven,
Like I wasn't this person's manager.It was just another person that I worked
with, and this guy talk aboutsomebody like how this person ended up not
getting fired. They took their stationissued laptop and pond it. Oh my

(30:53):
god, we'll take other stuff fromaround the station and sell it to get
like rugs and stuff, you know, And everybody was very much aware of
like the issue or whatever, butnever like, you know, oh well,
let's get you into rehab or somethinglike that. Never got fired.
And then this person used an excuse. It was winter, and so you
know, there was there was likean ice an ice event. Okay,

(31:17):
it was really cold, but likeyou live in a cold weather climate.
Yeah, you know, some peopleare used to dealing with that stuff.
It's not like all of a suddenHawaii froze over and nobody knows how to
deal with it. Huh. Youknow. So this guy in the front
of his house had like a gate, you know, like a little fence
and then a gate that would opento the street in the sidewalk on front
of the house. Well, hecalled out of work saying that his gate

(31:38):
was frozen and he couldn't get out. He was essentially track no. The
fence on either side of the gatewas maybe three feet. Yeah, so
like if you had to get outof there, you could just like hop
over it, or like even justkick the gate a couple times to break
the ice up. And I'm sureyou could have gotten out of there.
There was also a backdoor to hishouse that led out into an alley and

(32:02):
then behind that a detached garage.Oh, you could have just gone out
the other door. But no,he uh, he was frozen in.
Oh damn. And then nobody saidanything. I'm like, you're gonna let
that slide. Like his actual manager, I'm like, you don't let that
slide. He's like, well,you know it's him. I'm like,
this is unbelievable. You're still goingto give him a paycheck? Yes,

(32:24):
right, well he's no longer withthose rip pour hot water on the gate.
I gave this guy much crap.That wasn't the boat guy, right,
No, that was different. Thatwas we had a sales guy.
He was working with, like awater sports stealer like for boats and jet

(32:45):
skis and stuff like that. Thatthis business had given the radio station a
jet ski to give away like asummer promotion, and he kept it.
Yeah, and he told he toldthe client that they had given it away
because they put it in not callthe Hey this summer, you have a
chance to win blah blah blah fromwhatever the name of the place was,

(33:05):
And so they got all their onair mentions or whatever, just never did
the actual giveaway to a listener.And he kept it because you're always supposed
to do a recap and show.Yeah, well here's a picture with the
winner, and you know it's apicture of him. Yeah, he kept
it. It was in his gruageand all kinds of stuff. Dumb ass,
all kinds of stuff that he justkept. Oh my god, so
dumb. Eight seven seven forty fourWoody Again, if you've tried to use

(33:29):
a lame excuse to get out ofwork, or you are a manager having
a deal with lame excuses that peopleare trying to use on you, give
us a call eight seven seven fortyfour Woody, hit us up of that
text over to two two nine eightyseven. Your calls, your text next
on the Woody Show, Hey boy, Hotty, that show got a tasty
kid doing the show will be rightback, all right, So we get

(33:52):
homework topic. We're getting some ofthe feedback here. What is the lamest
excuse or live you told to getout of work? Now, if you're
a manager of people of liars,probably heard at all. We're also interested
and some of the more interesting onesthat you have heard from people trying to
get out of work. Eight sevenseven forty four Woody is the phone number

(34:13):
if you want to call in eightseven seven forty four Woody or hit us
some of the text over to twotwo nine eight seven. Let's go to
Andrew. Hey, Good morning Andrew, Good morning, guys, good morning.
All right, so lam's excuse herlie told to get out of work.
You know, individually, each ofthese points wouldn't amount too much.

(34:34):
It's just a combination of them.So the young ladies said, I can't
make it in today because I'm tootired from trying to get my cat to
come inside. And I wasn't successfuluntil two am. Oh wow, and
I was pretty speechless. Point numbertwo, she wasn't scheduled to work until
ten am. And you know,I happen to know this individual only lived

(34:55):
twenty minutes of work and she didn'tcall until ten dirty. Oh geez already.
Anybody ever tell you sound just likeMike row? Yes, all the
gime he does. He sounds alot like Mike the Dirty Jobs guy.
Yeah. Yeah, that's which isa good thing. That's a yeah.
All right, Andrew, thanks forcalling show. Thanks guys. By all

(35:19):
right, maybe it's micro calling Andrew. Right, let's go to Carlin.
Hey, good morning, Carlin,Hey, good morning guys. All right,
lame his excuser lie told to getout of work. So, uh,
I've kind of disabled my truck likehalfway to work, and I just

(35:40):
called my boss, said, oh, hey, you know, my truck's
broke down. I'm not gonna goto make it in. And I knew
that all my coworkers are going tobe driving by and stuff. And I
was a mechanic at the time,and so I went and I like pulled
the or pulled the rotor out ofmy distributor and just kind of sat there
thinking, well, maybe if somebodywant like friends of River Poles over,

(36:00):
they're gonna help me try to fixit. And I just did not want
to do what worked bs that day. And I waited for like an hour,
popped it back in, went gota donut and went home. All
that. Wow, I know,I mean, you know, you gotta
really follow through and the whole thing. You know, you can't just try
the excuses things. Yeah, yougot to commit a lot of work laps.

(36:22):
Absolutely, that sounded way better thanactually going and dealing with everybody's scrapped
that day. So I was justlike, all that effort, might as
well do work, all right,Carlo sk me like a minute, all
right, thank yeah yeah. Andthen and then also like, uh what
an hour of just sitting there exactly, were waiting for the people to go
buy off stid Yeah, yeah,oh yeah, and then donut yeah eight

(36:44):
seven seven forty four. It's eightseven seven forty four. What did they
say hi to Carlos Hey, goodmorning, Carlos Carlos Hey, good morning,
goes lamest excuse her lie told toget out of work. Yeah.
So I used to work as acampus security at a high school and we
had a feel trip. We weregoing to take the seniors on to a
college, and to get out ofthat, I ended up googling an iv

(37:07):
So I found a picture of ahand with an ivy stuck inside of it,
and I sent it to my bosssaying that I was in a hospital
for d hydration. Oh yeah,menaces used that that was one of MENACE's
better excuses that he came out hisgenerator. Somebody had called up and asked
for an idea a message. Justgo on Google Google image. Don't take

(37:30):
the one from the first page orin the second page, go like six
pages seven hecause, just google crutchesleaning against wall, find the picture and
to send that on the text towhoever hurt myself. Yeah done, thank
you, thank you. Next,But I mean, I in hand is
good. That's hydration is not serious. It won't keep you out more than

(37:53):
one day, but I will keepyou out field trip day. You need
get a hand tow it. Makesure it looks the same. Yeah.
No, Not only that, myboss had made me carry a bottle of
water every time every day. Sothat was that you're prone to you're prone
to dehydration. Have that happen again? Yeah, all right, Carl Saxtion
to call me APPU listen to whatthe show? Let's go to Corey,

(38:14):
Hey, Morny, Cory Coy,Hey, how you doing this morning?
What do you show? What's up? Let this excuse her lie. I
used to get out of work.I was dating this girl who was married,
and we had ended up having aparty and was up drinking all night
long. Her husband found out wherewe live. The next morning, my
boss man never comes and picks usup. Well, I told him that

(38:35):
her husband had found out about us, and he came and slashed my tires.
And my boss man was like,well, I'll be there in thirty
minutes to pick you off. SoI literally had to go outside and slash
my own two tires. Yeah,he's like, yeah, when your buffets
called all right, right, yeahyeah, he had never ever done that,

(38:59):
but for so that's all right,Corey, thank you for the cops
for now. That guy sounded likeStevo. Oh yeah, we had Micro
and Stevo both calling the swee.Let's go to Jennifer wanting Jennifer. Jennifer
Hi. I had any employee oneday calling in and she said her kids

(39:20):
got kidnapped. And of course Ias a leader on because I'm like,
oh my gosh, how are youdoing? Come to find out she didn't
even have kids. Oh damn.So she was fine, that's a pretty
brutal liary, Right, kids gotkidnap, so you would think that'd be
bad karma, right, But ifyou don't have kids, is it bad
karma? You don't even have kids. Oh my god. I mean it's

(39:43):
dumb. That's pretty See. That'sthe thing in Menace from the excuse generator
standpoint, like, that's why youneed something that is really hard. I
mean, it's pretty easy to provethat someone wasn't kidnapped. Yeah, did
you're gonna call the cops? Yougo, oh my god. Employed just
called me said that their kid wasyou know, taken, and they're gonna
be on it. Yeah, itmight make the news. I mean yeah.
Kind of adjacent to that. Oneof my other excuses was, you

(40:06):
know, you just google local shootingand find something that I die, Yeah,
and then you send the article toyour boss and say, hey,
that was my cousin. I haveto be in the hospital. Yeah.
The other one you had I thoughtwas pretty good was, you know,
to fake pink eye, you gointo the bathroom and you take some of
the liquid hands out from your youknow, like right in the middle of

(40:28):
the day of work, and yourub it in your eye because your eye
will get really red temporarily, andthen you go like, man like,
I think I got pink I think, oh my god. So and then
you go home and everything's fine,right, Oh, my god. Easy,
Yeah, thank you. All one'sgood. Let's go to Brittany.
Hey, good morning, Brittany morning. All right, So lamess excuse or

(40:52):
lie that you told or has beentold to get out of work. Yeah.
So, um, I used towork, and that's very him.
That was my first job, andI would only work on the weekends because
I was a miner and I wantedto weekend off to be with my friends.
So I said that. I calledthem up on you know, like
up a Friday, and I said, hey, um, so my car
got stolen in the middle of thenight and I need to deal with that.

(41:14):
So I had the whole weekend offnice good, like, oh my
god, that's terrible, the worst. And then when he showed the same
car while they recovered it. Yeah, well it is funny because a couple
like like a week earlier, itdid get stolen. Talking about earlier like
a couple of like days later.But I was like, well, I'm

(41:36):
still just gonna use that excuse,yeah, because it's got quite a lot
Yeah, the timeline off. Yeah, all right, Brady, thank you
for the call. Appreciate this,Wody shall Let's go to Chatz take a
morning Chatz. Chaz morning guys toldto get out of work. Didn't get

(41:57):
me out of work. But Ihad stayed up late and before, and
I drive a dump trup, soI didn't want to go in. UM
So I told my boss that mygirlfriend had busted the rim on the car
and I had to get it fixed. And he was really adamant about how
long it was going to take thegrim shop to open to get it fixed.
I had a rim that was crackedin my garage, so I went
and got that. Well, didum to prove to him? So I

(42:19):
had a receipt to sending each otherthat I was at the tire shop.
He still wasn't buying it. Hewas really at about adamant about me getting
to work. Um so it costme sixty bucks. I still had to
go to work and I actually hadto work over time that day week.
Meanwhile, what do you know,Yeah, that's what I did, write

(42:40):
a drum dump truck. Yeah.First of all, rim so much after
rim after rim m. Yeah allright, So we'n get to more of
these stories, calls, text messages, some of the other stuff that was
shared over the weekend on our Facebook, Facebook, dot com slash The Woody
Show. That's right after the breakhang up at the costs are here.

(43:00):
Okay, sit tight for a fewof the Woody Show. Will be right
back as soon as he dies.Now, okay, come here, nice
fucking get down show. All right? So what's the lamest excuse or lie?
So you told to get out ofwork? Or if you're a manager

(43:21):
of some kind and someone tried touse this excuse on you phones open eight
seven seven forty four, Woody hitus up with a text over to two
two nine eight seven a lot offeedback to share. I got one for
you, guys. The premise ofmine was real, but the severity was
fake. When I was in myearly to mid teens, I think,
menis you had this problem too.I would get nosebleeds in the summer.
Yeah, I'll get hot daily.So I was a day camp counselor and

(43:46):
I was just really tired, andI'd like, I don't want to deal
with kids today. So I calledand said I had a nosebleed so bad
that it wouldn't stop and then Imight have to go to the hospital and
get a caughter eyes. It didstop, but like maybe two minutes later,
I easily could have gone to work. Oh yeah, I was not
feeling it. I think that wasa nosebleeds. I got them all the

(44:08):
time stops for like five minutes andthen just started to started up. Agin
bad eight seven seven forty four woodyafter hours after ten am is the after
hours voicemail. Here's one of thosewe got over the weekend on the topic.
Hey, my name's Ashley. Thisis in response to the layman's excuse
to ever get out of work.I don't want to necessarily call it lame,

(44:30):
but it was pretty damn funny.I used to work at Applebee's and
I had to work a double oneday, mind you, I was like
nineteen years old, and on mylunch break, I decided to call my
boss and tell them that I hadthe bubble guts from lunch and I could
not return to work because I wantedto go out and get drunk with my

(44:53):
friends. So, yeah, what'sreally good? Lame but pretty funny.
I'm a ass was like, whodoesn't prodcast that quickly? And I'm like,
well, got the bubble got sorry, can't come back anyway? By
yeah, yeah instant, Yeah,pretty true. Yeah, MICHAELA had hit

(45:15):
us up. On Facebook said Ihad a stomach ache because they ate too
many crab legs the night before.I even went to urgent care to get
a doctor's note, and they listenedto my stomach with a stethoscope and then
gave me the note. Yeah,you got crab legs. Herman says,
my little brother got his arm caughtin the microwave. Was the excuse in
the Michael how to get your armcaught in the excuse from rain on Facebook.

(45:38):
My husband once called in because agame he was watching was in overtime.
Yeah, and depending on how latethat game started. Can't be pretty
late, can't I can go prettylate? Get away from this. Josh
says, I was trapped by aflooded river was my excuse. There was
a flood at the time, butI was in town only a few blocks

(45:58):
away, So there is a flaw, just not here. Yeah, Terry,
it's us up. On Facebook,I was in my early twenties,
said I sprained my ankle, butmy dumbass I forgot that I had to
go in to pick up my check. So I wrapped my ankle on bandages
and I limped in all right.Again, going to really selling it Paul

(46:19):
says, when I was in highschool, I worked at McDonald's and one
Saturday night I called in sick togo drink and smoke my friends. We
got super messed up and ended upgoing to the McDonald's where I worked.
We could barely hold ourselves together toeven sit at the table. One of
my friends went to the bathroom andthrew up all over it, and my
manager had meat clean it up andthen drove us home to be young again.

(46:43):
Says my mom's co worker said,her aunt died. Problem is everybody
knew her only aunt died about sixmonths earlier. Yeah, and so they
forever made fun of her after thatfor killing her aunt twice. She was
still grieving. Yeah, eight seven, seven forty four. Woody. We
got a couple of guys named Jimand James the phones. Good morning,
Jim, good morning, Good morning. Lamy's excuse her lie told to get

(47:07):
out of work. I had anemployee wants to uh called. I called
and called. He was got ahold of him an hour late. His
excuse for not coming to work ashe forgot that he had work that day,
so he didn't get to bed tillthree am. Okay am, and
I told him to get his assover there, and he said he can't
possibly do it because he forgot hehad work. Do I really need him?

(47:30):
Yeah? He was still on hisweekend schedule and forgetting that he had
to work the next day. Howcan you possibly expect, right for him
just to suck it up and goto work. Forgot that was his last
day of work? All right?Well, at least shod to let him
get away with a man. Yeah, all right, Hey, thanks for
the calle jimprechare us for they showby. Let's go to James. Hey,

(47:52):
good morning, James. Hello James, Hey, what's going on?
All right? So lamey's excuse orlie told to get out of work?
I once told my boss that Igot poison ivy on my hands and then
I used the bathroom we guided onmy downstairs area. That got me out
of work for two days. Wow. Yeah, I mean, because it'd
be inappropriate for you to be walkingaround the job all day just clawn at

(48:14):
your junk. You know, somebodymight complain of HR. Maybe involving my
downstairs wouldn't raise so many questions.There you go, all right, James,
thank you for the call. Appreciate. This is the only show.
Hey, gus uh text here,This is a let's see. My friend
tried to call off work saying thata squirrel chewed through a power line to
his house. Oh yeah, thereforeno word. All right, My toilet

(48:37):
seat broke in the middle of thenight. Wife, can't use the toilet,
have to wait until home depot opens. Can't make it in today,
Okay without that seat, let memiss excuse. I had a co worker
who had to leave mid day becausesomething weird was going on with his crypto
and he wasn't able to manage itthrough his phone. My guys, that

(49:00):
a woman who called out because shehad an allergic reaction, she says,
to the copy paper and toilet paperin our office. Never. A girl
called him because she had a familyemergency at home. This was a Friday.
She called again in a Monday tosay that she was still in Vegas
because her plane was delayed and feltsick. Weird and felt sick. Another

(49:21):
one called him because her dog's nailsneeded to be cut. Yeah, that's
an entire day, ye Bill.In Indianapolis, as a union iron worker
foreman, I had a guy callin for a day off. His excuse
was he forgot to pay the powerbill. Electricity was cut off and he
wouldn't be able to get to workbecause his truck was in the garage and
they have an electric garage door opener. Like, dude, pull the emergency.

(49:45):
Yeah, the ropey things right there. Hey, what a show?
Was a manager? On my lastjob, I had an employee who was
awful. She called out a minimumone or two times a week. We'd
know those people, and then criedabout never having any money in anyway.
Her excuses were ridiculous. My favoritewas that she said the night before she
had burned her mouth on soup.That is definitely a reason to not go

(50:07):
to work. Three one six saysOne of my drivers had to use an
old van one day. She cameback that evening and said that she couldn't
drive it anymore because it didn't havecrews and she had weak ankles. Ankles.
We thank you for your feedback,everybody. It's pretty funny. And

(50:28):
the thing is like people, Ithink the dumbest ones, the people who
use it the most, like thatwoman who one or two times a week,
they think that people actually believe them. I guess they do. Yeah.
The one that sounds the lamest tome is anybody that goes to the
hospital to get a doctor's note.There, you just wasted your whole day,

(50:49):
I know. And you're gonna getYou're gonna get charged for that.
Yeah, that would work at veryat least a cope. Rather go to
work than go to the hospital.All right, we're gonna get a quick
break more Woody Shows next, hangup the Woody Show lead a show of
Hans. Who's getting I'm not Austin, I'm demanding it's and we started another

(51:15):
new hour of any sensitivity training,free politically correct world on this Monday morning.
It's May the eight, twenty twentythree. I'm wody. That's Raby,
Greg Gory's here. You got Menace, what us up? Woody see
basses? Here, we got Sammy, Good morning, Boor and Caroline and
the Woody Show, the production department, we got Morgan, our associate producer,

(51:36):
Vaughan is our video producer. Gotthe phone's open at eight seven seven
forty four Wooding. You can alsohit us up of the text over to
two two nine eight seven. Wegot a brand new redneck News. Also
on today's podcast, You're gonna findthe results of the Redneck News Story of
the Week vote, so we nowknow who's moving on playoff round. If

(51:57):
you missed it, it's all gonnabe there on today's podcast again. Just
go to the Woody Show dot com. Uh, the Kentucky Derby was this
weekend, and we have a dumbasscontest. You know, we haven't done
this for a while. We hwe used to be a regular kind of
like the Craigslist prices right right.But you know, my dad, he

(52:22):
trains race horses, not thoroughbreds.It's harness racing, so it's got like
the race bike behind the other horseor whatever. So it's not derby stuff.
Although every time the derby rolls around, Hey, can you ask your
dad? Like, dude, mydad is not like tis. Yeah,
he's not super you know, tunedinto all the thoroughbred stuff, right,
you know some stuff about it,but it's not his area of expertise.

(52:45):
Has he ever been kicked by ahorse? That's one of my biggest Yeah,
really really having to have his skullstapled back together. Yeah, he's
getting to the point where he's toowell because like when you when you start
breaking the babies, like you know, getting used to the equipment, like
the even like just a riding horse, like getting them used to wearing a
saddle, and like you gotta yougotta train them, you know. And

(53:07):
they call that breaking them in,like you break him. And he's just
getting too old to be able todo this for these babies because they're they're
spooked, really man and everything elseand so and they're they're a horse,
so they're strong longer than he is. Yeah, when they step on your
foot, it's no joke, relaceissues. Yeah, the fifteen to one

(53:29):
shot Madge Madge won the Kentucky Derby. I mean, sure, seven horses
dropped dead at Churchill Downs over thecourse of Derby week, but whatever,
still a good event. Rays maderight, they'll make more mage I thought
I had a trifecta box, buteight was not in it. Also a

(53:52):
weekend winner guarding to the Galaxy Volumethree, which brought in one hundred and
fourteen millions of your hard earned money. Whoa. And then our third star
of the weekend would be Jerry Springer. Sure he's as dead as those seven
Derby horses, but his popularity onPluto TV has skyrocketed since his death.
Oh yeah, yeah, definitely.I get like one of the things I

(54:13):
read said that he has set likea Pluto TV record. Really yeah,
yeah, Well that's interesting because wealways hear about that with music. Yeah,
with all the streaming services. Yeah, you know music. Brianna plays
the halftime show the Super Bowl andyeah, that goes nuts. Yeah,
but first time for TV streaming.Yeah. Also agony of defeat. On

(54:35):
the other end, Glenn Kuiper,who is or maybe was it this point,
the announcer for the Oakland Age forthe last twenty years, suspended after
he dropped the N word before Friday'sgame against the Royals. Now he meant
to say Negro League. Okay,all right, so instead of Negro League,
it was the er version. Andhere's some of that one. We
had a phenomenal day today, yourLeague museum and Arthur Bryan God, whoa

(55:02):
idiot it happens? Suspended or fired? Suspended? Oh well yeah, until
until they get all their ducks ina row for the fire. Yeah,
didn't mean, do you fire himfor that guy? Okay? If the
guy's truly racist in his in hisspare time before a game when he's out
of town, he's gonna go bythe Negro League Museum. Oh, you

(55:25):
know, he's I mean, howdoes theory? Uh? He ends up
saying it because he might have beenjoking about it off the air. Ye.
Right, might have then slipped right, But it's a slip. It's
like when he tried to like,you know, I don't know, I
don't know if that's a slip ornot. Yeah, I think he's in

(55:45):
your vocabulary. No. Later inthe broadcast, he addressed saying I said
something that didn't come out quite theway I wanted it to, and I
wanted to apologize if it sounded differentthan what I meant for it to be,
for how I meant for it tobe. Said. The issue to
stay in, calling his words unacceptableand saying that they are working to address
the situation. Yeah, he's outof it. Getting our ducks in a

(56:07):
row full the firing. They're like, we're moving anyways. Yeah, we
don't need you. We're clearing outall these people and our team sucks.
Thanks for helping us. Yeah,he'll get fired. I don't know.
I think I do believe that mistakeshappen. I mean, I know I
believe mistakes happening. It wasn't likeit was called the Black whatever Museum,
and you know it wasn't even anythingclose. I don't like, isn't negro

(56:30):
technically? I mean, um,obviously not frowned upon the way that the
the N word is right, Well, I think by this context it's called
you know, the issue museum.I still think it's like interesting, how
I watched a guy beat up anotherguy on social media because the guy said

(56:51):
the N word, but every otherword out of the guy who was beating
them up for saying it was theN word? What you what you think
an N word? What you thinkingyou're gonna say that? You come on,
come on in word? Yeah,Like, so you have a problem
with the word or you don't.As he's beating the guy up for saying
the word, well context say,yeah, you're not giving a saying context.

(57:12):
I was just like, I don'tget it. Well this I don't
think this is a slip. Yeah, I agree with you. What menaces
theory was? Yeah, And thenand then next thing you know, you're
on the air and you're saying whatyou just said off here. But again,
why if you really are that wayor feel that way, Like,
why would you be going to theNegro League Museum to begin with on your

(57:34):
free time, because it's part ofyour job and that's not part of his
job. Maybe they do a segmenton it or talk about it. Yeah,
I don't know. I'm not sayinghe was. You know, it's
the right thing, and there shouldn'thave been an apology. There absolutely should
have been, and there was.But like you knows his job eight seven
seven forty four and it's up withthe text tell it to two two ninety

(57:58):
seven. Got a brand new RedneckNews ready to go for him. So
what do you show if your housebecame a fixer upper after you bought it?
And today's Redneck News. This isfrom Pulaski County, Arkansas, where
this woman named Erica Craig. Shehas been having a problem with one of

(58:20):
her neighbors. Okay, according tothe report, they have been pooping in
buckets. Oh what like the fivegallon home depot kind right, Well,
here she has to tell you more. They've been taking their faces in buckets
and dumping it at the back oftheir property and then across the street at
another person's property. They've been dumpingin on their property too, And they've
been doing this now for about threeyears, everybody around them have sold their

(58:43):
houses, which are leaven the onesthat are still left here to just kind
of just to sit and suffer.Yes, so not only does it stay,
she says, when the wind blows, it's awful. You can't even
sit outside, you can't sit withthe door open because the smell just consumes
the house. Also, the poophas been washing into her yard when it

(59:04):
rains. She says, they've beendoing this now, like I said,
three years, and at one pointthey had a hauled out porta potty and
we're just letting it washed down intothe ditches. God. So, Erica
has tried to go through all theproper channels, but so far nobody's done
anything about it. So that's whatshe called the local news, which is
where that clip is from. Andthey reached out to the county officials,
but we're told they don't have authoritywhen it comes to sewage matters, and

(59:27):
they referred her to the Arkansas Departmentof Health, who then told her to
contact a state plumbing inspector, butnobody from that office. We'll get back
to them. Oh good, whata mess. I have a picture here.
It's not the classiest neighborhood to beginwith. But still, I mean,
come on, ma, look that'soh god, that's that's her picture
of the neighbor's property. There's likea yeah dag an old furniture and wood.

(59:54):
Yeah, all that what they callpalettes. It's all stacked, you
know what. So that is fromPulaski County, Arkansas, where a woman
has been fighting with some neighbors whohave been pooping in buckets and dumping it
and stinking up the neighborhood. Andthat is today's red Nick. Yeah,

(01:00:20):
we're gonna take a break and wegot some more woody show coming up for
you next. Hang on, willbe right back. It will happen.
What do you show next? Thisis the woody show? All right.
We're move around along with things thismorning, of course, to the Derby,

(01:00:45):
which is over the over the weekend, one hundty ninth running of the
Kentucky Derby. Is it what yousay? I think it's made mge calling
the poor horse match all weekend.Yeah, some controversy of course. Now
there's a columnist as saying that thereshould be an asterisk place besides Major's win

(01:01:09):
because the derby favorite favorite scratch wasscratched. That's irrelevant. Yeah, what
does that matter, It's still one. They only do that like when people
are juicing or something. Even evenif that, even if that other horse
was in the race and got disqualifiedfor some other reason, Major's of the
winner, right, Yeah, ofrecord sounds like major jealousy, I know

(01:01:31):
for sure. Major. So thatthere the chief veterinarian had, Uh there
was a bruise I guess on theright foot of the horse, and they
knew this going into the week andit just didn't come around enough in time.
Yeah. But I mean there havebeen seven horses that have died,

(01:01:51):
so now Churchill downs is investigating,and seven horses all within Derby weeks,
right, yeah, causes of twoof those deaths as story. Oh my
god. Among the horses that diedwas a horse called wild on Ice who
was a Derby contender. Yeah.So what is Major's future now? Well,
just made your head onto the freakness, huh, you know, going

(01:02:15):
for the triple crown. Yeah,and then just gets to be a whore
like yeah, well that's true.Yeah yeah, Oh it's a dude.
Yeah yeah, I'm saying it justgets to be like a just a man.
Hoo. Yeah, and just giveup all at seed, just keep
milking seed and making tons of money. That's I mean, man, that's
what the money's made. Getting handyas all the same. Yeah. Do

(01:02:38):
you ever see like a video thatprocess? Uh No, I don't think.
I don't think so. Did theydo it a jackass with bulls though
I can't remember they did, yeah, because it's not like, you know,
it's not like they just get thelike mate with a bunch of horses.
You know, it's like the it'sa whole like milking process, right
yeah, and then the insemination processlike a whole. It's like, oh

(01:03:00):
boy, m gross um. Someof our co workers are rather derby,
and they looked quite dapper, andI was sad that Ravey couldn't make it
because to see Ravey and Ohome inher big hat yeah, and a martini
and a dress yeah, a littlepurse, yeah yeah, a sequin purse

(01:03:21):
of a beer helmet like a mintjulip helmet helmet cool. I do not
like mint julips, so I don'tknow if I've ever had one. So
gross is it? Some of themcan be too sugary, too sweet.
I did not care for it.Yet to get the right one. Yeah.

(01:03:42):
I always thought they were creamy,but they're not. That's mint.
What is that Creme DeMint? Thatis creme dem creme DeMint that is creamy
and green. Well, we havea dumbass contest that we're ready to roll
with. And a dumbass contest isrock band or yeah, yeah, rock

(01:04:06):
band, racehorse or adult movie.It's kind of like gay bar steakhouse that
we've played. Yeah, you knowa number of years here on the show.
This is uh. I'm gonna giveyou the name. It's either the
name of a racehorse, a rockband, or an adult movie. And
then you just have to guess whichis which, and if you could do

(01:04:27):
that correctly two out of three times, you are going to be the winner.
All right, eight seven seven fortyfour, Woody a's eight seven seven
forty four, Woody. Let's goto Crystal. Hey, good morning Crystal,
or so good morning morning. Allright, So here you go,
rock band, racehorse or adult movie. The name is black Caviar. Black

(01:04:51):
Caveat would be the name of arock band, a racehorse, or an
adult movie. Let's try, orthat would be all right, so far,
so good, so rock band racehorseor adult movie. A manuel rock

(01:05:12):
band, racehorse, racehorse a movie. It's actually a porn nice all right,
here we go. The Empire strikesfrom the back. Is that a
rock band, a racehorse or anadult movie? Adult movie? Show me
adult movie for the wine. Alright, that's not a racehorse. There you

(01:05:36):
go. All right, Crystal,hang on a second. You are a
winner here on the dumbass contest.Let's go to Let's go to Ryan.
Hey, Good morning, Ryan,Ryan, good morning. All right,
here we go. Rock band,racehorse or adult movie. You gotta get
two out of three. Ride thefirst name up, boris the sprinkler.
The sprinkler, boris the sprinkler?A rock band, racehorse or an adult

(01:05:58):
movie. I'm gonna go with adultmovie. That would be rock band,
rock band, weird. All right, you still got a chance to win.
Gotta give the next two, right, next name up? Desert Stormy,
Desert Stormy, rock band, racehorseor adult movie? Uh, racehorse?

(01:06:21):
Yeah. I thought that would beeasy too, because it Stormy Daniels.
Right. Yeah, that's right,Ryan, thank you for the call.
Listen, Let's go to Jimmy.Good morning, Jimmy, Hey,
good morning, good morning. Allright, Jimmy rock band, Racehorse or
adult movie. Albany Girl, AlbanyGirl, rock band, Racehorse sord movie.

(01:06:44):
I'm gonna go with a Horse fromNew York or something. Right,
all right, all right, Racehorse, you're on the board. You got
a point? All right? Nextup, rock band, Racehorse or adult
movie. The name is Spunk,Spunk, Spunk, rock band, rock
band, show me rock band forthe Wind, rock by Congratulations Man,

(01:07:09):
Spunk, Thank you all you welcome. Hang on one second, get all
your information. Let's go to VictoryMorny Victor Victor rock band, Racehorse or
adult movie. Uh, native dancer? What is native dancer? That is
as all right? Next up,rock band, Racehorse or adult movie.

(01:07:34):
Animal instincts, animal instincts, I'dsay adult movie, show me adult movie
for the wine. A quick workof that. We're gonna alright, hang
out one secondment, We'll get allyour information. Uh well, yeah,

(01:07:55):
I think we got it. Onemore prize. Okay, if we can
get another winner here, let's goto Andrew Gaming Andrew, Hey, good
morning. Hey, al right,rock band, Racehorse or adult movie.
The first name up is Dirty Projectors, Dirty Projectors, rock band, Racehorse
or adult movie. Adult movie thatwould be rock it's a rock band,

(01:08:19):
damn man. All right, howabout this one? The Gay? The
Gay? Is that a rock band? A racehorse or an adult movie?
That's gotta be a horse? Thatis a rock band? Sorry, Andrew
sory about that one. That's that'show it goes. They could do a

(01:08:41):
double bill with Spunk, Yeah,Spunk and should Spunk and the game Gay?
Where are you going tonight? Yeah? See the gay Gay? Who
are they with? Great night?And who closes spunk? Yeah? Yeah,
yeah they finished, Yeah, theyfinished the ship. Yeah. Let's
get the Jester on the line.Hey, good morning, Jester. Hello,

(01:09:05):
Hello, is it is the namenot es? Yeah, she's got
it up here is Jester? Jester? Chest dude? Why would you call
somewhere? M hmmm? If you'reon hold for the Woody Show right now,
I'll say hello, Oh my god? Yeah alright, alright, think

(01:09:27):
well that's how you play rockman.R N. It was a great game,
the strong but stupid Jester. Iforgot you could break more Woody shows.
Next second, this clue in asecond, hard noises, this sexual
innuendo is and the icing on thecake. We're going through sixty nine Woody

(01:09:50):
show. Yeah, so a lotof needles from over the weekend. Of
course, at mall shooting in Alan, Texas. Yeah, man, there
was there was so much like videoand stuff that was like all over it
all yeah, any of it,um. And then also another one in

(01:10:11):
Texas that person ran over a groupof people waiting at a bus stop,
right. Yeah. They were infront of a shelter for migrants and for
homeless people. Um. Now there'sall kinds of like speculation about that and
what was going on. But oneof the things I saw is that it
could be like a personal beef andthen some of these other people just gotten

(01:10:33):
the way and there's about eight peoplethere. And then mall shooting. Uh,
there's another eight people that were thatwere killed. So those are a
couple of the stories course did inKentucky Derby, Yeah, and then the
coronation right oh yeah, did youguys stay up, get up? Um.

(01:10:54):
I taped a lot of the coverageand watched it later on the BBC.
I watched it like part of thejob is going through all the different
news sites and whatever, and itwas like twelve stories in a row,
coornation, coordination, corna, butall the different angles all the different things
and every video, every photo I'veseen, it makes me laugh. I

(01:11:14):
think, who takes this stuff seriously? How is this to be taken seriously?
It is all such clown stuff.It was really like pomp and circumstance.
It's so dumb, Like I getit back in the day, you
know, when they had, likeNna says, when they didn't have in
twenty twenty three. It just it'sover the top silly. But that's why

(01:11:35):
people are super into it because itis so throwback. Is that the reason
I think people just get like theyget caught up in the Kardashians. It's
the same thing, like with thestupid costumes, the outfits. You think
this was weird, and how areall these people showing out? People are
going to show out so much morewhen William is crounking, Oh yeah,

(01:11:58):
so much more. It's gonna belate. It's be way more epic than
this. I think. The fascinatingpart is it just finally happened, like
and especially if you live there,fine, you know, but like anybody
haircare. Oh tons of people traveled. It's a weird thing. I'm not
getting I kept watching like with Who'sWilliam's son George. Then what he'll be

(01:12:21):
the king? I thought, Wow, that kid is gonna do this someday.
Yeah, it's weird, like who'sgoing to show up on the balcony?
Was one whole store? Right?Oh? And then Harry. They
were wondering if Harry was going tobe on the balcony, which he wasn't
right afterwards left. Yeah, Ohmy god, he bounced right away.
Congrats today. It was somehow soawesome. The weird part I thought was

(01:12:45):
when they put up that screen barricadething. What was he? What were
they doing back there? What doyou even talk about? Yeah? So
King Charles is sitting on this throne, right, and then at one point
these royal guards or whatever they comeup with three big panels and they formed
like a wall around him. AndI don't know if it was a costume
change or that's where he was jerkingit. He was so excited. I

(01:13:10):
didn't contain his boner because there waslike maybe ten inches from the royal blumpkin
to the b Yeah, there waslike ten inches from the floor. And
I thought, what if you justsaw his pants? Like, what is
he doing back there? And nowit is time for the traditional royal blumpkin.
You're gonna get a handy. He'sgonna sit on this bucket while the
queen does her thing. He probablygot like another layer of clothing I remember,

(01:13:35):
But they can't do that in frontof people. You know, Queen
Elizabeth talking about how much layers ofclothing there were and how heavy that crown
was. Yeah, yeah, ittook a minute to adjust that crown to
five pounds on your head. AndCamilla does not look queen like or classy.
She looks so trash. She wasgetting trashed all weekend. Yeah,
yeah, bitch, she's a homewrecking bitch. Yeah yeah, everybody knows

(01:14:00):
it. Well, she won,right, Yeah, I guess they said
the Queen of all side chicks wasthe main headline. I get to get
a quick break. More Woody showsnext, Hang up, ain't no party.
Look a wood A show party,but it wood A show party.
Distop occasionally back to the Woody Show, and we are into another new hour

(01:14:20):
of intensitivity training for a politically correctworld. Thank you for being here.
Everybody given us some of your timethis morning. I'm Woody. That's raving.
Hello, Greg Gorey is here.We got menace what is up,
Woody, there's Svan. Yeah,Sammy is here morning and we got the
phones open at eight seven seven fortyfour. Woody, you can hit us
over of the text over to twoto nine eighty seven. I thought about

(01:14:42):
Raven. I saw this story.So my drama at the Hilton Hotel in
downtown Nashville, tell me about whereone of the employees reportedly went into a
guest's room uninvited and it's five o'clockin the morning and started sucking on the
guy's toes. Yeah yeah, Sothe guest wall look up, confronted him,
called the police. He was lateridentified his fifty two year old David

(01:15:03):
Neil, and the guests recognized himbecause I guess he had been in his
room earlier in the evening to fixhis TV David, or was I guess
the night manager at the hotel.So David admits to entering the room,
but denies doing any foot stuff.He said that he went into the room
because he smelled smoke, and oneof the check in on the guests,

(01:15:23):
oh, yeah, trips, maybethat's where the fire was see him.
They apparently don't listen to this showbecause my go to thing is any hotel
I stay at. I put adoor right next to the I mean I
put a chair right next to thedoor. Also that thing that just kind
of should be dead bolting and flippingbecause I have personally on the on the

(01:15:45):
other side of this world. They'vegiven me the key to not my room.
Yeah, yeah, I walked intoa room. Some lady was having
a lovely dinner in her room.H yeah. Uh. Never told security
either about the smoke. Now theother guests smelled smells himself. Yeah.
David was arrested, charged with aggravatedburglary and assault. I told you many

(01:16:11):
screws. Yeah, maybe it wasa special wake up call. I thought
this is what you wanted. Yeah, I thought this was a five star.
I thought you paid extra for thefull service. It was not.
Its nice, Yeah, like anice little you go to spa, they
do the whole like a foot massagething. Right. Clearly the manager had
gotten the vibe the night before.Yeah, yeah, right, we went

(01:16:32):
to Seabasses yester vibe like I didn'tknow you weren't going to be there,
Oh you didn't. Could have changedplans, but he chose, Oh,
I wouldn't end up on the loversand friends music festival, which I planned
like five months before that canceled.Yeah, schedule one less music festival for
menace. Anyway, we went toSeabasses, and I gotta say, of

(01:16:59):
all the places is that he haslived Now, this is the only one
that, uh, that I've seen, But I mean I knew he rented
that room above the dojo. Yeah, to the point where it didn't have
it. It wasn't it was supposedto be like an office or something above
the dojo. It wasn't. Itwas for someone to live. Yeah,
because just to use the bathroom,he has had to walk downstairs, pasted
all the kids taking the karate lessons, not passed, but into the common

(01:17:20):
area. Yeah, to walk.He didn't interrupt a class to get there.
To walk into the place. Yes, passed all the kids taking karate
lessons. So if I showed upat like six forty five to come home,
all right, excuse me, andright, guy walk and then let's
see. And then from there hewent he got the RV, right,
yep, and he was in theRV. He realized that was two cumbersome

(01:17:40):
as far as like trying to parkat places. He needed at least two
spots yeah, yeah, it washard to find. So then he downsized
to the van. Was living outof the van for how long? Not
that long? Less than a year, because almost like a year and a
half. That must have felt likefour years. I was gonna say a
week would be. Then he boughta condo, owned the condo again,
not that long, it was threeplus years, sold it. But you

(01:18:02):
know, for owning a place,I thought like when when you bought that,
I'm like, Okay, he settledin, but it was a studio
and it was it was too small. Small. Yeah. So then he
sold the condo, moved into twobad house. Yeah he's like a little
just rental house, and now intothe apartment that he's at. Okay,
so I don't know what I wasexpecting, but it was super nice and

(01:18:24):
classy, Yeah it was. Itwas. It was a nice place,
nice amenities, top notch. Yeah, you don't even called them luxury.
It was our luxury. It reallyyou know what it really was. It
was. It was really nice.And then we walk into Sea Bass's apartment.
Now you could tell that he hada strategically set up a couple of

(01:18:46):
things. He had this giant bannerpainting hang on the daily. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, not just forwhen we were coming over. No,
really, what was it? It'sas Us his name and the names of
two porn stars. Yeah, andlike a Mount Olympus thing. Nice.

(01:19:10):
What do you call that fork thing? Ray? What's that? Yeah?
So let's just hung up in theliving room. How not posted this?
I definitely posted? And and thenhe had like a bunch of books laid
out like under the TV bloat pastthe page. Yeah. No, that
that painting commemorates an outing that Ihad with those two ports. I went

(01:19:31):
to go see a concert at thesame venue that we all went to later
that night, or we could havegone to later that night, and so
it's just a once it's like ayou know, it's just like a historical
thing where historical, Yes, thesetwo porn stars and we went out and
had a lovely evening, and Iget it rememorates that, Okay. And
there were some and there were somebooks that were laid out again. You
know, I had to ask aquestion like did you go through that?

(01:19:53):
How long did it take you tofigure out the placement of how you're gonna
have these books? Later? Onewas how to Be Perfect Right right,
and that's just one book that waslaid out from the creator of the Good
Place. The other one was Understandingthe female Orgasm, which yeah, yeah,
I've heard that one back in front, so you get it, a
female orgasm. Anyway, this isvery modern, it's very nice. He's

(01:20:13):
got a nice little set up there. Fantastic bathroom. Yeah. So this
brings us to the main event,which this this shower that we've heard about
that is conducive it yeah, itwalk in shower, giant glass door that
is conducive for pooping. Now hehas said that the opening is super wide,
not a standard drain opening. Yeah, it's not a plug, it's

(01:20:33):
not even the little It is awider opening, thank you. Okay,
sure, but it's supposed it's supposedto have the grate or whatever on top
that little you know, which isoften yeah, with the holes in it,
which he has removed, and thereis. I would say it's more
like a funnel because the opening atthe top is very wide. But then

(01:20:53):
it goes down to your standard whatis that a two inch in drain?
My logs would get stuck, yes, because they'll break up with the shower.
Oh you you say that. Butand we asked the question, I
do have a video that we shotso you could see, because it's basically
like pooping into a bowl, andthen you'd have to wait for it to
do, you know, either dissolvewith the with the water like have it

(01:21:16):
a road away erosion. But Seabastsdoesn't have that kind of time. We
know how impatient be dressed both thesepoints, because menace is correct it ninety
nine out of one hundred logs goget They either either break up or otherwise
don't need to be any kind ofhelps address, right, which, Okay,
after seeing it, I don't believethat I can tell you from a
year plus of pooping in this showerthat the vast majority of logs you don't

(01:21:39):
have to mess with at all.However, anyway, so I'm like,
well, you know, Seabasts doesn'thave the kind of patience for that.
So propped up in the corner ofthe shower on a shelf. On a
shelf is a comb, okay,like one of those pointy ended combs,
like a six inch long. It'sused for like separating like a part.
And then you know a rat's tailcomb that what it's called a rats tail

(01:22:00):
come, well, he uses thisto break apart the turds so that they'll
go down the dream of the sharecase. Oh okay, okay, yes,
much like the poop knife. We'veheard about nut Chucks poop knife. Yeah,
so these things are not unheard of. Yeah, no, it is
unheard of, SeaBASS. Yeah.Yeah, you just have an example.
You've heard of the poop knife.This is the poop comb. Yeah.

(01:22:25):
I still don't see why this is. Uh, but you have a butt
washing toilet right next to your showerexactly, which I agree, which I
do use I don't disrobe and gofull shower every time I eat a number
two, so I do have thebutt washing toilet seat, the total washlets
attachment, say you have footage atthis. I want to. I want
to see it actually doing it.But of this, let me let me

(01:22:47):
just kind of go, oh wait, he's wearing he's oh. SeaBASS is
an excellent host. And again it'safter o'clock. I'm not a farmer.
Okay, uh yeah, no,that that can work. And then I'll
show you and I'll show you thecomb. But back to the point about

(01:23:08):
there, there's the comb. Okay, notice the nice candle light on the
bathroom it was set up very romantically, but that shower the point you could,
Yes, the butting toilet is fantastic. I agree. If you don't
have one game changer, we've allagreed on that. But the butt washing,
full on shower attachment, that isfully next level game changer. That

(01:23:28):
is the next game changer. ButI was thinking, like, Okay,
you're in the shower and like youfart. Yeah, boy does that just
hang in shower? Okay makes itten times worse. Yeah, the ventilations.
There is another another question that youguys have brought up before. Oh
doesn't that reek? Doesn't that stink? Well, guess what taking a dump
stink's way worse because it's not likethe log goes away immediately. Yes,

(01:23:50):
it's underwater for the most part,not if you splatter. Yeah, but
I think that's got to get caughtin the pea trap. But here's the
drain. But here's I don't Idon't even know that I have a pea
trap where I am. I'm surethere is necess I mean plumbers can again,
plumbers, I'm not on the firstfloor, I'm not on the sixth.
So yeah, but it doesn't matter, like to keep to keep gases
from back up line. I understandthat to a degree. Yeah, but

(01:24:11):
you have to have a peatre whenyou log into the shower, assuming everything's
working as it should, which againtimes out one hundred dollars, that's gone
immediately. Yeah, that that scentis out of there faster than it would
be in a regular toilet. Okay, really, not to switch subjects real
quick. Greg is very quiet,and I know that before I left town,
Greg was going back and forth ifhe was going to go to the
event or not. Yeah, Ihadn't decided, and I went, oh
you did go. Yeah I didnot get a door. Oh yeah,

(01:24:33):
yeah we were okay, Yeah,I saw the cold Yeah. Were you
impressed by the decor? I was. I liked the kitchen. That was
my favorite. It's a new complexi'd seen like five years old maybe so
like in fact, I my ovenjust stopped working the week before you guys
came boom called down brand new ovencomes right in. About living, you
know, renting is supposed to owningis swap right out. Yeah, the

(01:24:56):
kitchen was big and nice concept.He actually had a couch, which I
was right. He was a gracioushost. Yeah, that's very much Barcart
was amazing, including some dilola,which great I mentioned on the air.
I said, you know what,as an excellent host, I will keep
in mind. I will remember whatI guess, like have it ready for
them? Nice? Yeah? Andthat's what again? Is that the it's

(01:25:23):
a seltzer. It's like a fruityIt's it's fruity, it's slightly fizzy,
and it's like I told your wife, Woody, it's too good. It's
a dangerous and alcohol so it'll getyou going right. Wow, it's delicious,
Texture says. The more we getto know about Sebastian's personal life,
the more I think he's actually arobot, cause playing as a frat boy,

(01:25:45):
I think what the shot of thisis? My place would be lovely
for a lady to come over becauseit's nice. Getting says, Uh,
sounds like what you're describing is onehundred percent in normal walk in shower drain,
not for poop. That's exactly whatit is. Not just mine for
poop, but nobody's saying it is, but usable and excellent for it.
Out of this whole event, theonly one thing that I did see was

(01:26:06):
apparently Vaughan went staff all the coolpeople went and uh, he posted that
the flamethrower was hung on the walllike some yeah, which you had told
yeah, which he told us hehad that hung up on the wall.
Yeah. Flame flower has been mountedin every place I've lived. Y,
where's that in the living room orroom of the television? Walk you walk

(01:26:30):
in, it's it's kitchen, intothe living room. It's all open in
that respect, in the bedroom,in the shower and the on sweet laundry.
Well and there, Well it wasyou know what, dare I say?
Lovely time? Lovely? Yeah,it was. It was nice.
Yeah, And it was all thescheduled to be an hour, but we
were there over two hours. Wehad I had to kick everyone out because
we had to go to the event. We're having too much fun. Everybody

(01:26:53):
was conversating and that's having having anice time. And thank you for having
a need to talk. Oh,Sammy, you'll appreciate this, um,
you know. Of course I didn'tcome at the hand and I brought a
gift. I brought him some champagna, which he loves. Delightful. Yes.
And then at the at the liquorstore, on the counter they were
selling like like little bundles of sage. Oh heck, yes, I brought

(01:27:17):
sage. You can warn off theevil spirits? Did you sage the place?
No? I brought it in theredidn't need it. The thing is
what he doesn't know that you haveto like burn it. And yeah,
oh so you know how do youuse thing? I wasn't about to burn
it in his house. But thedumb ass, you know lady who hosts
like yoga down in our in ouryoga room, she does it in a
well because you can also take itand you can use it to like wipe

(01:27:40):
on the walls, like you're supposedto brush the walls, because that gets
a spirit with sage too. That'sall you all about it. I didn't
know you're supposed to brush the walls. You're supposed to open the windows and
the doors when you do it.You're supposed to stage all store windows.
X. I saw it on whendo you see the rehab one time?
Yeah, Victoria because there had beena fire in the building and then she
rehabbed it, you know, andso like and people died that building and

(01:28:01):
stuff and so so you brought toyou know, the person into watch the
walls of the stage as you doright, good vibes only all right,
We're gonna take a quick break.More what it shows next, hang up
boys, funny drinks. We hada lot of conversation here recently. I

(01:28:26):
mentioned in passing I forget how itcame up. I'm like, man,
I was excited to see it,and I watched them like so overrated,
super bad. Yeah, so manypeople hold up on a pedestal that seems
right up for whatever reason. Idon't know what's wrong with it, don't
I watched it and I would justlike it. I just didn't live up
to the hype. Hype. Iguess one of those things that appeals more
to you when you're a teenager.I was a younger man at the time

(01:28:49):
that came out. How many yearsago that come out? I don't know.
I've never seen it. We've neverseen a wow. And then Ramy
constantly craps on things like goonies andet so. I think somebody else in
here said Forrest Gump, Oh ForstGump every day. I can't believe anybody

(01:29:10):
ever liked it. It's so great, such garbage love Forrest gun I am
with all it's doing is just pushingyour cry button, cry button, cry
button, cry button. There's nothingthey're going on. Well, so,
also the other appeal was the specialeffects. People made a big deal about
it, putting them in its coolcertain things. So we got said this
article. Somebody said, oh yeah, some of your favorite movies are on

(01:29:32):
this list, and one of themShawshank Redemption. Oh yeah, most overrated
movies in the history of cinema,which, dude, that movie. I
love that movie. I'll watch itanytime it's on. It doesn't matter.
It could have ten minutes left inthe movie. I gotta watch it to
the end. Now, there's anargument for shaw Shank being that it bombed
in the theater because it wasn't great. And the only reason we love it

(01:29:54):
is because Ted Turner got a sweetheartdeal for himself and just showed it over
and over and over because it wasalways on. That's why. That's why
it's so popular, just because itgot beaten into your brain. So here's
what the write up says for it, says, it's a good film,
but it's the cold play of cinema. If you tell me your favorite film
is The Shoshank Redemption, I'm goingto immediately wish I wasn't having a conversation
about cinema with you and then withForrest Gump. It says, good boy

(01:30:18):
who does what he told gets accoladesand fame, while the girl who overcomes
trauma and gets into radical politics diesof aids. Great message, Well,
I'm sure that happens. So nuclear, dumb and weird. Ferris Bueller's Day
Off made their list. The characterswonder about Ferris Bueler because he's such a

(01:30:39):
dick. Why is so revered buthe's a terrible person. The characters are
all extremely unlikable. A friend ofmine described it as being extremely smug,
which is a great description. Yeah, I like Ferris Bueler's like the movie.
Question exactly how is nobody called Ferrisout on his BS for sucking.

(01:31:02):
The number one movie on on theirlist as Avatar, which I think everybody
in this room agrees with. Isaw Avatar asleep. Yeah theater, beautiful
visuals, but a forgettable story.I don't get how it makes so much
money. I don't care Avatar toojust as much. Crazy, Yeah,
I don't get it. The DarkNight, which Raby hates DC anyway,

(01:31:26):
So yeah, you know, maybedo you like the Dark Knight. You
like that one that was pre DCUniverse. Yes, this is Christopher Nolan's
trilogy. It says nothing about itmakes sense if you think more than two
seconds about it. Well, that'sall comic book movies, that's true.
But yeah, you were trying todraw like you know, like it's a
movie and you're trying to make likeGoonies into some like yeah, like on

(01:31:54):
a Hunt for Pirate trus it's aboutthe un No, this is this is
where dummies try to like break downthe argument. Oh it's a movie.
No, it's about the universe.The movie is in in the universe of
Batman. These sort of things exist. The universe of Goonies is is Oregon
nineteen eighties. It does there's nomagic, but it's a movie. Like

(01:32:15):
there was another movie back in theeighties, like remember Iron Eagle. Yeah,
I remember the lu Gossa Junior.Yeah, he uh, like his
son like how to go like gethim out of a like a he was
being held captive by terrorists and sohis dad was a fighter pilot who got
taken after he had to eject Andso the Sun steals a military plane and

(01:32:39):
goes to like get his son outas him and Louis Gossa junior, who
go and do it? Now?Is it based in like, you know,
planes and you know, just regularlife kind of? Yeah? Now
is the premise far fetch? Sure? Sure? But are these kids?
You can follow A to B.You can follow A to b's to see
you know that? The same thingyou say about the hangover, like the
hangover. Yeah, somebody's not goingto break into my tyson's house his tiger.

(01:33:00):
But the universe is Las Vegas twothousand and eight where that could potentially
happen. Ye, Frozen is onthe list I've overrated movies. Um,
there are so many other better,similar Disney movies. It's like a seven
out of ten. It's the song, right, I didn't care for Frozen.

(01:33:20):
Kids are addicted to Yeah, theNotebook? I love the notebook.
What's wrong with the note Book?Great? So I don't understand people who
prefer Noah to lawn whatever that means. Lawn was everything? Oh lawn was
so not everything? Right, Ihave no idea what you're talking about.

(01:33:44):
Two dudes in the movie. Yeah, it's people. Yeah, oh La
La Land is on their list.I couldn't, man, That's all I
would love a movie about Hollywood,so of course it got you know,
everybody slobbed its knob right, Butthat's I think the difference is there no
one to day cares about La LaLand. Yeah, and you can't have
him a song from La La Land. Like you could still name the Snowman

(01:34:04):
song for Frozen, Yeah, likeit had it six months or whatever,
but it fell off because it's notgood. Yeah. And then a Titanic
also on their list. It's abloated, drawn out love story whose ending
was never going to be a surpriseexactly. That is the most overrated.
James Cameron's on there twice. Iknow about deal did he make with the

(01:34:26):
Devil? Yeah, stage making money? What else would you guys put in
the list overrated movies? I'm puttingone that I know a lot of people
worship. I think you agree withme on this wood Scarface. Oh,
I was sore on that. Finallysaid I got to see this, Yes,
iconic movie. Yeah, everybody worshipsand it looked like something I would
like, like, are you effingkidding me? So boring, so boring,

(01:34:50):
so dumb. Yep, it's soit's unintentionally hilarious, though, it's
definitely not a waste of your time. Like watching it, I'm like,
what college student put this exactly?It's like a college film projects. Oh
so dumb, it's funny. Thisis what is considered all badass. It

(01:35:13):
was so laughable, right and yeah, and I was. I was super
excited for it, me too,Scarface. Weren't you a child when that
came out? Oh? Of course, But that's why I was late to
the game. I gotta see whatthe warships about? All right? Eight
seven seven forty four? Woody,what's the most over in your opinion?
The most overrated movie? Love howPeople with Food Poisoning feels? All right?

(01:35:36):
See, that's what movie would youadd to the list besides every single
Marvel movie? Yeah, I willgo with seven D. I rewatched that
recently, and oh my god,it's not good. Rapid is overacting the
whole time. Count space. He'soveracting the whole time. The plot doesn't
make too much sense, of course, but beyond that, just the acting

(01:35:57):
is bad. Huh. Morgant Freeman'sfine because's kind of the straight man or
whatever I have. I've not watchedthat movie in a number of years.
That was That's my thought too.I was like, oh, I should
check that out, and I likedit when I saw it too. That's
not what else what goes in thelist gravity. I know a lot of
people love Gravil, like Sandra BullerBullock and Mad George Clone too. Yeah,

(01:36:21):
yeah, spoiler yeah from a decadeover, there are no wrong answers
when we ask these questions with thenine o nine texting over Step Brothers,
Dare, Dare, That's why Ilove that movie. That's another one I
can watch all the time. Don'tchoose. Step Brothers is underrating. Yeah,

(01:36:44):
don't you not like Old School aswell? Would he? No?
I thought Old School was fine?Okay, um, it's I don't think
it's very warshiped. Yeah, Idon't think it's as great as Stepbrothers.
Like, in my opinion, Ithink Step Brothers is the better movie.
Like a lot of movies like likeThe Hangout, Yeah, are kind of
like, Okay, well, I'llput up movie from that era that I
don't think is funny. Bridesmaids isnot funny. I agree with you.

(01:37:12):
It has a couple of funny scenes, like the scenes with the poop and
Arthy on the airplane. Yeah,but that is it. It is not
fun Wow, it is not funny, and I will go on to say
wow that, at least where moviesare concerned. I think he's a better

(01:37:32):
television director. Paul fig should notbe directing major motion. Is not shade.
He look at I don't you evenknow what he's directed, Like Spy,
Female, Ghostbusters. I don't knowabout the Identity Thief. But I
mean he did Freaks and Gigs fortelevision, which I think is great.

(01:37:53):
For law the Office, which Ithink is great. But movies, no,
stay out of movies, Paul.I'm not going to make any friends
with agreeing on this one, butsomebody texting over Napoleon Dynamite agreed. Oh,
I agree. It's a boar fest. Yeah, it has moments.
It has I'll give you that.It does have moments, but I came

(01:38:17):
out. That's why try and watchit again. It tricked people Napoleon Dynamite
dead by being quirky and different.Yeah, yeah, go back to it.
Wizard of oz On the text hada few times. I mean it's
a kids movie. Yeah, movie, the Harry Potter movies. Okay,
it's all about the books anyway.Oh, here's another one. I agree

(01:38:40):
with pulp fiction. I love it. Oh, I've seen it for a
long time. I was fast forwardthe restaurant scene because that is a more
fast it like the rest of It'sawesome. It took everything I had not
to turn it off, and I'mlike, all right, it's gonna get
better. Come around. I'm gonnaget it. I watched him like it's
all right. I mean, I'mnever gonna watch this again. But my

(01:39:00):
answer, I just don't. Iguess I expected more. Are so much
better than the others, like anytimeSam Jackson's on screen, the whole butt
stuff. Yeah, that was great. You thought you would love it because
it's all about revenge and violence exactly. Yeah, no surprise. Getting a
lot of votes for the Fast andFurious movies. Well, I are not
highly rated movies. They've got crapscores on Rotten Tomatoes. They're commercially successful,

(01:39:25):
but that's not highly rated, right, Well I mean people, I
mean no, probably they're friends arelike, oh my god, this is
the greatest thing ever. But rated, not just popular. Okay, but
then why do people keep going tosee them? They're all so bad because
people are stupid. Yeah, Iknow, but they went out there people
weren't going to see. That's thesame reason people go see Avatar, right,
because they're like, Avatar looks socool. The fast movies look super

(01:39:46):
cool, Like there's nothing happening.What's what's the saying? Uh, you
know, full me once, shameon you fully, twice, shame on
me for me ten times. Yeah, exactly, Okay, this guy seems
cool. Probably won't murder me.Yeah, this is the Woody Show.
All right, welcome back, everybodygets Monday morning, the votes were closed

(01:40:11):
down, and we want to tellyou about the results for the Redneck News
Story of the Week, like wealways do. Give me a quick recap
on who the nominees were. Nominenumber one was the guy in Portland,
Oregon who stole the forklift from theconstruction site and used to the chase down
people and some cars there in thestreets. Nomine number two is the obituary
of Kenneth Joseph Pular, the cardcarrying ray band wearing Camo Camo Coverall Love

(01:40:36):
and Redneck All right is a daughterdecided, like you know what, I'm
having a hard time finding anybody towrite this thing. I'm just gonna write
it myself. That's not number two. Nomine number three the guy in Florida
who lost who got lost while hewas out robbing people and then called the
cops for help, saying that hewas being chased by wild hogs. No
such wild hogs to uh speak of? What? And then nomine number four

(01:40:58):
was Brandy aka Chris Farley Ackerman therein Texas who pulled a knife and tried
to rob a grocery store and thenwhen the grocery employee just wasn't having it,
she just went back to shopping dollarstuff, checked out, like paid
for the stuff, she had themoney. Yeah, And then she said
she was just pranking. That's justyeah, just just pranking. Frank who

(01:41:18):
gets your vote this week? We'llstart with you Raving. I think the
one that had the most redneck elementswas that obituary number two. I mean
that was like he'd lived a hardcoreredneck life he did. I liked his
daughter broke it all down. Ithink it was different, yeah, you
know, like, yeah, shesaid that he died of sepsis. Yeah.

(01:41:41):
Quote, after fifty years of crap, starting with everyone and everything he
could find a fight. Alton,Illinois as hard as nails. Soob finally
found something meaner and more stubborn thanhimself. Sepsis, Yeah, he was
a Darrow devil of sorts who probablyinvented the phrase, hey, y'all watch
this raven number too great gory,Oh absolutely number two. It's different.

(01:42:02):
And they also said that at thefuneral they wanted free beer or that was
like a selling point. Yeah,oh yeah, his favorite kind. Yeah,
the good old fashion party food andbeer that you don't have to pay
for, his favorite And rather thansharing emotional memories, people start talking crap
about him in his life, andshe wraps up by asking people not to

(01:42:23):
send the usual flowers or donations,but rather take a trip to the dollar
store in Kenny's honor. Instills.We do that menace. I mean,
I don't know how you fight,uh the other ones, because Kenny is
the absolute winner on this one,all right, ce Mass, Yeah,
I know he's gonna win that funny, So I'm going with a forklift,
guy O worklift. You didn't findany humor in the I mean, you

(01:42:45):
know, that's like that's cute.Readers digest stuff, but you know,
I understand not funny enough. Iam going with the obituary. The obituary
are well, the said the vaultof the vote. Geez, the votes
are in and vaulting to the top. Yeah, with your votes this week
your official Redneck News Story of theWeek. Really, no surprise. It

(01:43:08):
is indeed not any number two.You vote, so congratulations, I thought,
Oh yeah, Hillary Milner. Allright, Hillary, we will put
her name on this year certificate,letting her know that her dad's obituary.
Yeah, and the story that's yeah, moving on into the next round,

(01:43:30):
the playoff round of the Redneck NewsStory of the Week. Thank you again
everybody for your votes. We're gonnatake a quick break. We got some
more Woody Show coming up for yournext hang on insensitivity training for a politically
girt world. It's a Woody Show, and time to wrap up and call
today that first day of the week, Monday. In the books, we

(01:43:55):
odd the Woody Show, and I'mquickly gonna run down for you what you
can find on today's podcast if youhit up the Woody Show dot com.
Today the weekend homework topic was discussed, the lamest excuse that you have used
to get out of work. Yeah, some of these might be worth writing
down. Others were just awful.Why do you even think that was gonna
work? But anyway, thank youfor all your feedback that you sent on

(01:44:20):
our Facebook and on the after hoursvoicemail, all the calls in the text
messages today. We appreciate that.Um, we have another topic since you
know Mother's Day is on Sunday,just on the reminder it was a week
away. A Mother's Day topic thatwe're gonna do later in the week is
all about you know, mom's callingin. I'd rather moms than than dad's

(01:44:41):
just because it's Mother's Day. Mom'scalling in and telling us what's the dumbest
thing your kid has done? Imean, as as someone who was once
a kid, I can tell you, Oh, my god, did a
lot of dumb stuff. Your motherhas a laundry list. I wondered what
my mom would say, and Ibrought up the idea that everybody in the
room, like, we should allcall our moms and see what their answers
would be. But it turns outof work with a bunch of lamos.

(01:45:01):
Everybody's like, oh, I don'tknow, I don't think my mom would
call. Yeah, well, I'msaying we could call her. I get
the logistics. Did she call.Well, no, we can call her
anyway. Yeah, while you're theone I said she wouldn't call. Okay,
see that anyway. I thought itwas a great idea. I got
shot down. But we'll take yourcalls all day. You can leave those

(01:45:23):
on the after hours voicemails eight sevenseven forty four Woody or on our Facebook,
Facebook dot com slash The Woody Show, Raby Menace, Sea Bass,
Sammy anything you'd like to add No, nope, great gory parting words of
wisdom please. Yeah. Sadly thereare no leaf blowers for people. Maybe
one day. I mean, wherewould you blow them into the street until

(01:45:47):
they get hit by cars? Withall the other roadkill. I keep seeing
them. More and more places aretrying to ban gas powered blowers, blowers
and things like that. Craig,They're far superior. I hope they don't
go away. I think about youall the time. I got the battery

(01:46:08):
one and the gas one battery forsmall jobs. Hop, runneth over,
thank gas blower, look out,I'm blowing all right. Thank you very
much, Greg Gory, Thank youso much for giving The Woody Show some
of your valuable time this morning.You know, we love it to appreciate
you for that. Rest of guyscan suck it. Catch back here on
Tuesday. Have a great day.SMD double M. Quit this bitch.