Mr. Michael Oppenheimer

Glenn has been getting annoying phone calls from telemarketers for years, and just got a new cell. So it's time for Mr. Michael Oppenheimer to christen it! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone.

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Tap Michael Oppenheimer.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
The email says, my friend Glenn would be the perfect
target for his phone tap. Glenn's been getting annoying calls
from phone solicitors for years, and he just got a
brand new cell phone. Why don't we christen his brand
new cell phone. Mike wants to play this phone tap
on his buddy Glenn. Well, here we go, Scary, of course,
playing the part of the relentless evil telemarketer Michael Oppenheimer.

(00:28):
Mike is in the same room as Glenn while Scary's
doing the phone tap, so you'll hear him the background. Okay,
so here we go Michael Oppenheimer with today's phone tap.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Killer.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Oh yes, this is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Travel Pedeal
Northeast Direct. How are you doing today?

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Not too bad?

Speaker 4 (00:44):
What's up?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
We have specials on some wonderful vacation packages at this time.

Speaker 4 (00:48):
So I'm not really interested in any vacations right now. Dude.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Maybe you'd like to go to Punta Khana in the
Dominican Republic.

Speaker 4 (00:54):
No, I like to stay in America.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
We have thirty five percent off at the Grand Paradise Bovaro.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
To be honest with your buddy. You know what, I'm
not really interested. Okay, yeah, this is mister Michael.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
I'm from Travel Palding with you stret How you doing today, sir?

Speaker 4 (01:12):
Not too bad? I'm not interested. I'd tell you that before.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
We can give you cruises now. We have bon voyage
packages starting at just four hundred and nineteen dollars if
you'd like.

Speaker 4 (01:21):
I'm trying to be nice, so you hear me. I
don't want to hang up on you. I'm not interested.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
We can get you a four day Caribbean. This is
mister Michael. I've gotten disconnected.

Speaker 4 (01:33):
No, we didn't get disconnected. I hung up on you.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Okay, So I'm I'm tired of.

Speaker 4 (01:36):
The phone calls. You're talking to a police phone.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
I don't want to do this, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
But we can give you a five day Caribbean Western.

Speaker 4 (01:44):
I don't care what you're saying. Listen, hear me what
I'm telling you for the last time. This is a
police department phone.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
I understand you.

Speaker 4 (01:51):
Do not call this phone again.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
So I'm a telemarketer.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
I don't care what you are. Don't call this phone again.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
So your name is on our list. We have everything
to do that my means on your list.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
You leave me alone alone.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
Somebody must have signed you up. Maybe he was a
loved one. Maybe you'd like to treat your family to
a fun vacation.

Speaker 4 (02:08):
I love to treat him to a lot of things.
Here's what I'm gonna treat you too. Count to three
and if you don't hear anything, that means I hung
up on you. Okay, watch this, just count the three.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
How about a fun filled Oh yes, this is mister
Michael Upon from travel Town.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Are you for real?

Speaker 1 (02:24):
We have a trip for you for Cancun, Mexico for
seven nine.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
You can call me one more time on this telephone number.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
I'm telling you I'm gonna call a better business bureau
on you people. And that's the end of it.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Sir, you sound a little high strung. Maybe you can
use a vacation at this time.

Speaker 4 (02:37):
No, look, I want a vacation from this telephone call. Hello,
I don't call here no more. I don't want to trip, buddy,
I'm trying to go to sleep.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Is skiing your thing?

Speaker 4 (02:49):
No ski, no.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Leg Maybe you'd like to go to Las Vegas, Nevada's
where maybe gambling is your thing? My house, that's unfortunate.
Can I have your dress at this time? Please?

Speaker 4 (03:01):
Yeah? One two three Mockingberg Lane, Texas.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Zip code please.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
One two three four five six seven.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
That's too many digits for a zip code?

Speaker 4 (03:09):
One two three four five. That's how ridiculous this phone
call is?

Speaker 1 (03:13):
Which credit card would you like to be using it
this time?

Speaker 4 (03:16):
I got about you know, three four dozen? Let me
just go put in my pocket and thank every going
for you. They're all gone. I don't have any.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
How would you expect to pay for this trip?

Speaker 4 (03:24):
Sir? Do you do? You?

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Do?

Speaker 3 (03:25):
You do you get?

Speaker 4 (03:25):
Do you get thrills on calling somebody? Seven times? Sir?
Stop talking and you listen now, Sir.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
I've been an idea.

Speaker 4 (03:32):
You're you're aggravating me.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
Okay, I'm busy.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
You're calling me on my time, not yours. I don't
want your vacations.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
I said no to everything. You can't have my address? No, no, no,
or on a checklist on your computer, check the number
and throw the number out and forget.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
You called me.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Somebody at some time must have been interested in a
happy getaway.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
No, not me.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
I'm sitting here listening, just so you get to the
end and I could say, no, I don't know. I
understand why you people don't understand it.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
No, don't mean no, but maybe you could changeange your
mind because.

Speaker 4 (04:01):
I'm not changing my mind. And I'll tell you what,
even if I would change my mind, I wouldn't change
it on this phone call. Now, Can I hold on?
Let me go get the newspaper. I'll find out a
good ad to see where you can go. Hold on
one second. Oh Jesus, you know you can go on
Perio tours. You can go to Italy.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
You want to go to Italy.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
I've been to Italy, so this is amazing.

Speaker 4 (04:19):
I'm gonna stay on the phone for three hours. That's
what I'm gonna go. I'm gonna drive this guy now.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Okay, now that we send you over to Orlando, Florida.
Are you a fan of Mickey Mouse and or else?

Speaker 4 (04:28):
All right, look, look look I'm hanging up now.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Don't call back because it's not by mistake.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
It's not by mistake. Trust me, sir. You're doing a
good job. Bother somebody else, please, sir. If you're bother
somebody else, sir, if.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
You're act now, we'll throw in some American tourist or luggage.

Speaker 4 (04:42):
I can't now, I'm asking now by he can throw you.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Good afternoon. This is mister Michael Up and I'm with
Travel down Northeaster d.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
I'll tell you what.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
I'll find something from you if you give me to
your supervisor.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
My supervisor his name is Michael Doherty from West Babylon.
And this is Gary Jones from Elvis Duran. And you've
been phone tapped.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
You got your the best, you got your the best.

Speaker 4 (05:07):
I've been phone tapped, still laughing. In the background over there,
I got this jerk next to me that he was
playing dumper this whole I can't. I'll tell you what
you guys are landless man.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
The Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone tab was pre
recorded with permission granted by all participants.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning show