March 12, 2025 • 51 mins
After a career in advertising, Julie Edelman became a bestselling book author and TV lifestyle personality with "The Accidental Housewife," delivering money-saving home care tips like "clean your diamonds with vodka" and "clean your toilet bowl with Alka Seltzer. After undergoing treatment for breast cancer in 2023, Julie decided to write her first novel, "The Accidental Sisterhood," about four women who form an unexpected bond after learning they were all romantically involved with same man.
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Fearless Fabulous You is broadcast live Wednesdays at 12 Noon ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Fearless Fabulous You Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hello, and welcome to Fearless Fabulous You. I am your host,
Melanie Young, and we are going to have a really
fun show today because I'm all about spotlining, empowering women,
and helping you live life on your terms. You know,
you've probably heard me say sometimes you make life happen,
and so sometimes life just happens to you and you
make the most of it. And goodness knows, I've talked
(01:05):
and written about turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones, and
taking things and repurposing, recycling and rethinking and rewiring your life. Well,
my guest today has done that. In fact, her life
has been rather accidental and constructive in the process.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Her name is Julie Edelman.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
She is a best selling author of a book called
The Accidental Housewife. Okay, I had to love that book
because I'm like the accidental domestic diva as a not
and we'll talk about that. So I love this title
and the book and her wonderful tips on taking care
of your home and your life. She now has pivoted
(01:47):
sort of to write her first novel. It's called The
Accidental Sisterhood, and I received a copy of it. It
says in Us, we trust, and it's a really fun read.
Some say it's kind of like Sex in.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
The City meets you know, big little lies.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
You know.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I just had fun reading it, and.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I felt I was part of it because we've all
had dud relationships. And in this case, we'll talk about
the plot and you'll see where it goes. But first
I want to welcome Julie Edelman and find out her
story about how she became accidental.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Welcome Julie.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Well, heya, that was quite the intro. I mean, you
just keep going. I feel like we were separated at
first accidentally or what have you.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah, or maybe it was just intentionally meant to be.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's true because you know, you have to pivot and
things just happen, give me a little guest and my
listeners a little background on you.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Where did you grow up?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
And we talked a little bit before the show about
our mutual Jewish guilt, so we have something common there.
So talk to us about who was Julie Edelman? Who
was Julie Edelman before she became a best selling author?
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Well, Julie Edelman. My true line to your point is accidental.
It actually back to my birth and my mother told
me I was not planned. But that's not quite the
story for today. But the accidental roots and also the
roots of sisterhood. There are two sort of through lines
(03:14):
with all I've been doing, and I really realized that
more recently the latter one of sisterhood. But accidental came
about when I was loved Marriage and a Baby Carriage.
I was working as an executive for Sauce and Sachi
in New York City. I'd gotten married, so loved Marriage
and a baby carriage proceeded, and all of a sudden,
(03:37):
I was thrust into a world that I wasn't really
prepared for in terms of having to work, also having
to take care of the home, having to take care
of a child, and if I didn't do it. No
one else was going to because my husband at a
time didn't care that toilet bowls looked like paintball targets.
But really what also generated from that was the fact
(04:01):
that you're thrust into these situations accidentally. I mean, I
didn't grow up saying I wanted to hold the toilet
brush in my hand. I grew up, actually, Melanie, thinking
I would be holding a microphone and hosting like Katie
Kuric was, you know, a show. But life has its
way of the detours and so forth, and so out
(04:22):
of that, I started to become this lifestyle expert. And
I realized too that I needed to have a hook,
you know, something at the same time that people could
relate to. And I was doing a lot of segments
on the view and at the time Bill Getty, who
is Barbara Barbara Walters who as we all you know,
respect and love was my my icon, you know, who
(04:45):
I looked up to. And I said, you know, I
got this great idea for creating this concept called master
of her Domain. It was Seinfeld and he said, well,
that's all right, but accidental houselights might have more to it.
I had no clue though, Melanie where that lead other
than the title, but it really came to embrace both
what I was feeling, both guilt inefness, having no time,
(05:09):
no real interest in being a housewife, and certainly no
Martha F skills, and at the same time trying to
as if they keep my home free from health inspectors,
my son from starvation, and my sanity in checks. And
so the Accidental Housewife came to the rescue, both in
terms of coming up with these quirky tips that women
(05:30):
could do very simply using products around the house, and
also forming a community accidentally with these like minded women
who were feeling guilty and found now that they were
no longer alone. And thus the book was rich. It
became a best seller, and the rest home you say,
is accidental history.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Well that's interesting.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Accidentally, how did you get into television, because that's not
that easy.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I've worked in public relations in New York City, so
I know what grueling.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Role and amount of work it is in advertising. The
same with public relations, you're just constantly servicing clients. I
used to say I ran a brothel versus a PR
agency because I was constantly sir having to assign people
to service my clients and hope they were happy. How
did you move into I mean that was a big
jump from Sachi and Sachi. Yeah, that's nice to the view. Okay,
(06:23):
so how did that note? Because I could have been accidental.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Well, what happened was a couple of things. When I
had my son Luke, I also started to start my
own business and it was carpidy and communication. And during
that I wrote a book, another children's book called once
Upon Recipe, and I was sort of taking frestured fairytales
like I would do excuse me, the princess and the
(06:50):
p and instead of pe, she would be sleeping on popcorns.
And I would create these fun, interactive what I call
frontivities for kids to spend more time and parents with,
you know, at meal time and it's a learning you know,
cooking can be both fun because it's math, it's reading.
So there was a bunch of different things. So this
(07:11):
book where I did these sort of fractured fairy tales
and funtivities, someone quite and this is just accidental, was
looking for somebody to talk about kids and cooking. So
I was invited on CBS The Morning Show back then,
and that then led to my being asked to do
other segments, and eventually, through some television and product marketing,
(07:37):
was asked to appear on the view on behalf of
representing some products and then became a lifestyle expert. So
it was a series of dots connecting over a period
of time, because you're right, it just didn't happen like
by chance. It happened because of one dot connecting to
the other, and before long recognizing, like you said, that
(07:59):
I had to have something more special than being a
lifestyle expert as you and pr No, you got to
cut through the clutter, and so that brand became both
my moniker as well as you know, who I was
as a person.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, you know, for anyone listening who's like floundering, as
like half my friends are right now because they're at
that age.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
You know, you really have to cut through.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
The clutter, and it may be accidental or strategic, but
you got to come up with a brand or an
identity that you you own and you closely identify with,
and that's super important. That's kind of how I ended
up with Fearless, Fabulous You, which you're going to get
to in a second. Because so anyway, your book before we.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Get to that.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
The The Accidental Housewife has a great fun tip because
my favorite one is to clean your diamonds with vodka,
because that's like something.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I would do.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Why don't you share a couple of other fun and
popular tips just to give everybody a taste of what
that's all about in that book.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Well, to your point, sip was the vodka because it's
a natural sanitizer, and I was also looking for things
that were multitaskers. So you can use vodka to sanitize countertops.
You can put it in flowers, by the way, because
it'll perk them up because what it does is the
hibbit ethylene production, which causes flowers to work. Who knew
(09:22):
I'd be Bill Ny the science guye And it also,
to your point, cleans diamonds, which my jeweler said, please
use the cheap stuff because don't waste the good stuff.
So that was one of the tests. Another one which
was a really fun one and I debuted it, I
remember on the Today Show, and it was using alka
seltzer to clean your toilets and always having fun because
(09:46):
I love to have a sense of humor. I would say, plump, plump,
and you take two tablets and you would go plump, plump,
businesses away would go you're poop and whiz. And because
it's visiting action from alca selzer and the citua gases
actually breaks down the minerals and some of the grime,
so and then you didn't have to obviously put your
(10:06):
hands in the toilet bowl. You would use a little
scrip brush. So that was another fun one that I
call upon. And also with spring just around the corner,
here's one for you. Do you think the best time
to wash windows is on a sunny day or a
cloudy day?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Well most people would say sunny, but I bet you're
gonna say cloudy.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Well, yes, ding, you got that right. On a sunny day,
it makes them dry faster and so you get streaks.
So you're doing them over and over and over again,
which is not fun.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
So what do you use for that?
Speaker 3 (10:41):
What do you use to clean the windows?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
I use vinegar, white wine vinegar like a third and
two thirds water and then it's sweety if you have
it to go up and now. But also when you're
doing it, obviously start from the top down, but do
it in round circle sort of life drappy kid, you know,
wax on wax off because that also helps with the
way it dries and looks and you know, creates it
(11:06):
from having to go over and over and over again.
But doing windows is a thankless job, So Mike, instead,
you know, get blinds and nobody looks out. I'm teusing,
but you know that's the actional house my point.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
You know, it's a thankless job. I think the apple
Sellser's is cleaning out a refrigerator. I have a fear
of refrigerators because my mother was a food hoarder, so
whenever I go home, it looked like somebody was murdered
in my refrigerator because everything we explode. Do you have
anything for cleaning out refrigerators.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Well, first of all, you don't want to overfill them
or underfill them because it also waste energy. There's certain
lens is balanced, that's right. But again I like using
natural products like white wine vinegar. I wouldn't use vasdo
here because it's a lot of box that you'd have
to use. I would just keep it chilled in the
freezer for when you're done. But yeah, I tend and
also don't forget to do the gas because the gaskets
(12:02):
create can have bacteria forming on them, as can the handles.
The handles are something you should clean really really often too,
because of all the bacteria, the mold, the mildew. And
back in the day when you had those little trays
underneath where water collected that the pans, the drift pants,
that was a lovely place for roaches to come for
(12:23):
cocktail hour. But they were smart enough because it's harder.
But fortunately today's fridges don't have that. But you should
do it quarterly, you know, you don't have to get
crazy with it, and when good comes up, get rid
of it. Another one of my favorite appliances and an
easy way to cook, to clean and excuse me, are
(12:44):
your microwaves. And there are really simple, non toxic waves.
To fill a bowl with water, squeeze a lemon in it,
and then put it into the microwave and let it
and if you would steam it for two to three
minutes or three to five, depending how it is from
over youth. And then what happens is the steam helps
(13:04):
to the slide the gunk and there's no chemical residue residue,
excuse me. And when you take it out you also
sort of get a bonus facial because of the steam.
So it's sort of a multitasking task if you will
to clean and steam your face.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Well, what's so funny.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I've always thought that way about the dishwasher, Like when
my husband is a domestic he's domestic David.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
I'm not domestic Melanie.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
He's domestic David, and he'll do the dishwasher and I'll
offer to unload it so I can get that beautiful
facial steam.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
And it really is fabulous.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
And I'm all about vinegar for cleaning, but we're going
to switch to all the vodka. We get a lot
of samples of booths sent to us and a lot
of it stuff I don't care about.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
So now I'm going to look at cleaning.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
With it because we get in a nightly fight because
I like to clean things and somehow he doesn't. He
thinks you could just wipe things with water like his
frugal mom taught him.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
But having lived in a horde hoarding kitchen, I like to.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Really spotlessly clean everything and dis in fact, and I
don't like you. I don't like chemicals, So I like
the idea of using ingredients that you can find, you know,
at your local costco.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Or wherever convenience store. They're inexpensive.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
And really white vinegar is a workhorse, so is vodga
and also cheap white wine or now what I call
artificial wine. We're getting a lot of samples of that
sent to us, and for me personally, it's undrinkable because
that's just me.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
But I'm repurposing all of it into other things like
salad dressing.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
And now repurposing is great. And another one, by the way,
for cleaning your dishwasher is to use tang or any
of those granulated really because they have atrick acid in it.
And actually you can multi tabscare. One more tip on
this and then you know, I'll share some other thoughts
on the other thing we're going to get to. But
(14:53):
you can actually I call it's fish in the dishwasher.
You can actually cook in the dishwas you put it,
you put the tang in, you know, into the dispenser.
You can run it on a full cycle. But if
you wrap a piece of salmon and you add a
little white wine, a little lemon, little seasoning to it,
a little Dijon mustard, and you tightly wrap it in
(15:17):
the tinfoil, you can actually have steamed salmon after the
course of the cycle is done, so you're multicasting, you're
cleaning and what I call clean cuisine. So there's another tip.
And then just have a glass of bugli waiting for you,
or if you want to stip with your vodka.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
That's really fun.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I've heard about cookie a steak on a car ege
in which I haven't done. But I hear you can
do that too, but I haven't done it yet. But
it's interesting because we're always looking. Right now, everybody's worried
about the price of eggs. Do you have I have
some tips on eggs substitutes, but first I'll ask you
do you have any I do?
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I act before I even went there today because I
wanted to be sure they had them, But yes, they
clearly the price is escalated. I'm wondering when there's gonna
be a shortage on chicken, you know, because there's no eggs.
What's what's the chicken?
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Exactly?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
That's the question. I'm podder when that's I'm going to
hit us next.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Well, you know, it's like what came first the egg
short to the chicken?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Well, we know it's the eggs, and my trader Joe's
was completely devoid of eggs the other day. I actually
went to my local grocer and bought eggs to have
a biscuit this morning because it was cheaper to go
buy the eggs at the salad bar than it is
to buy the eggs.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
At the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
It's kind of crazy, but so have you ever used
made eggs cooked with aqua faba, which is an egg
white substitute.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
I have. I'm not a big egg white subperson. I'd
rather I love edg white, So I just take a
little yoki out and make them fresh from the good
old shell. So yeah, uh so, no, I have not
an answer to your question. I tried them one just
didn't like the idea of what it was.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Well for anyone listening who doesn't know, I did an
article on it for The Vegan Life, because it's great
if you are vegan. So if you take your can
of chickens or garbanzos as they call them, in the
can and you take the juice out of that and
you whip the hell out of it, and you have
to whip the hell out of it, it can be
used as a meringue, or you can use it with
(17:25):
certain measurement detail as an egg white substitute, and they
call it aqua faba, and I agree with you, it's not.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
It doesn't replace the egg.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
But if there's an egg shortage in you're despot for eggs,
it may be a solution in the interim.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Well, I will put that into my accidental brain. But
it also sounds like it requires more work. And I'm
also somebody who likes he its. But I've had to
come over and have meringue at your house. Please.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
My other one, and they we're going to move on,
is when I have all we eat a lot of salad.
I'm a salad girl. I love salad with whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
And when everything starts to will, I put it all
in a blunder with whatever yogurt I have in the
refrigerator or whatever, almond milk, whatever, and I make what
I call my version of my gaspacho, which is left over.
I call it salad to soup and just blend the
hell out of it. And it's actually pretty yummy. And
(18:20):
it's also how I handle vegetables I don't like, like broccoli.
You know, it's if I mush it. If I mush it,
it's better. I love broccol Oh, that's so funny.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I like it mushed. I like it mushed.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Sometimes I go through phases where I like it, and
then sometimes I'm like, I can't look at it anymore.
You know, when you try to eat seasonally, sometimes you're
eating the same dish every day.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
It's too much.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
So we share another sisterhood. We are both breast cancer survivors.
You were diagnosed in twenty twenty three, so you're much
more recent than I, who was diagnosed in two thousand
and nine. Talk to I said about about that. How
did you find your How was how was it discovered?
Speaker 4 (19:06):
I actually had just I was out in Arizona. I
had just I used to live out there, but I
was visiting my sister in law and we were talking about,
you know, I need to go get a mammogram. I
hadn't with COVID, and I just had sort of gotten
out of my routine, and so I said, as soon
as I get back home, I'm going to go for
you know, a set up an appointment. Well, a few
days later, I was doing my sealthy breast exam and
(19:29):
I discovered this little lunth on the left side of
my breast and of course I went into shop because
I do monthly selfie. It's not you know, great jobs,
but I would check myself out and I said, oh no,
this can't be. You know the myth that if it
doesn't run in your family, you know you have to
get it. But uh, what happened was I was diagnosed
(19:50):
as soon as I got back to Florida with breast cancer. Unfortunately,
I caught it early, and that's why I encouraged everyone
out there to do self exams. I was stage one.
I did have two surgeries because my doctor, doctor s Nicky,
who is amazing from Maffitt Cancer Center here. I did
not like the margins and fortunately again I was I
(20:14):
did radiation sixteen rounds of that versus chemo. So I
felt very fortunate that I a discovered it be the
stage that it was on because as you know full well,
early detection is key to how treatable it is and
your chances for remission. So that began my journey, and
(20:34):
we're going to get into how this what I called
detour I turned into a dream display changing detour and
also continue the passion that I had. Look now, when
you were diagnosed, let me be the interviewer for a
moment if you don't mind your viewers know. But did
you find it through a mammogram, your annual or on
(20:56):
your owner? How does that that?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
There was selfie while I was in Tuscany and I
found a love in my left breast. And when I
came back and we went to the doctor and she said,
I don't like this. I went and had you know,
some diagnostics, and it turned out I had three lumps
on one on both you know, both breasts, and so
they were goners. So I underwent a double mass sectomy
(21:19):
with chemotherapy, but not radiation because the percentiles were not
enough to make me want to go through radiation as
well as chemo, which is a kicker. And then I
went through genetic testing because I have an Ashkenazi Jewish background,
and lo and behold, I have the bracket two genetic mutation.
So I went ahead and then I call it my
year of was living surgically because then you know, masectomy,
(21:41):
I did the reconstruction and then I did saw pango
upherectomy to have my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed later
that same year to reduce my risk of ovarian cancer.
And I do because I have pancreatic cancer history of
my family. I do some surveillance, so you have to
be vigilant.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
You and I both really.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Underscore the importance of touching your breast and checking your
breast regularly. You can't just wait for your annual mammogram
because we both found the lumps the same way.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yeah, no, it's you know, it wasn't something I just
I did it because I just felt I should. But yeah,
I mean it saved my life. It saved your life,
and we I'm an advocate now too, from offit talking
about the importance of that, both in terms of just
early detection and the ability and you know the reality
(22:35):
of it can truly save your life and prolong your life,
and what you have to go through, hopefully is a
little less.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Did you have a lump back to me or were
you able to preserve your breast?
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Yeah, I had a lump back to me, so I
have got both my breath. I there's a in my
book which we'll get to in a moment, but also
just in general, when when doctors and Nicky you know,
came into the room, of course, I'm waiting to hear
what the diagnosis is he's got He says, okay, well
we're going to remove the lump in your left and
he looked at my right breast and he says, and
(23:09):
you know what, I'm going to lift this other breas
so they're even. And I was like, I could care
less about my other breasts, just get this out of me.
But then when he puts the room Melanie, all of
a sudden, I was getting myself, you know, dressed, and
I looked in the car. I started laughing and I said, well, hey,
I'm getting a GWP. I give them the protocol. My
(23:30):
postman of Paul of Breast was getting a lift, so,
you know, out of it again. Much as I do
with my life, I tried to find positivity and humor
amidst the hope. And now I can wrap the T
shirts without bro So yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I never wear bras. Done done with a bros, saving
all that money. It's interesting. I have a very good
friend who was stage one. She ended up getting a
double mess sectomy. And when I underscore everyone's journey is different,
because I have several friends who are stage ones and
they've all had different courses in their journey. She ended
(24:03):
up doing the having the fat removed from her stomach
and here and there, and she looks amazing. She's had
a tummy tuck, She's got gorgeous breasts. I have breast envy.
Hers came out better than mine because I've had mine
taken out, had my implants removed and replaced because my
implants were recalled by the FDA.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Whole another story. But yeah, yeah, you get that.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
You get that note in the mail from your your
your surgeon, going your breasts had been recalled by the FDA.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
You have the option of removing and replacing them.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Okay, I will, but well you know they cause apparently
there's a certain kind of guy called the gummy bears,
which are textured are link to rear forms of lymphoma.
So during COVID, I'm the one who actually went into
New York Sydney to have surgery to have my breast replaced.
And damn if I don't have to carry them around
wherever I moved, Julie, because I'm part of some lawsuit
(24:55):
against I won't say the company, but I have to
carry my breast. But you're in a box label Melanie's breast.
You know, the ones I took out there is some
upstairs in the closet.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
I tol, yeah, I can't.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
I can't talk.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Crazy.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
It's evidence. So like I also had this like uh
CTG come to Jesus. After going through cancer, I closed
my company, I closed my pr agency. I decided that
it all made me sick. And it was fairly dramatic
and drastic and a massive drop of income and other things.
But I wrote a book called Getting Things off my Chest,
(25:32):
A Survivor's Guide to Staying Fearless and Fabulous in the
Face of Breast cancer, and it received.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
A lot of awards.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
It was the beginning of a journey and also the
start of a dream to become an author.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
You have done the same thing. You already were an author.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
You wrote the children's book, which is really cute. I'm
looking at your preaskit on it right now, and it's
a it's a clever book. Once upon a recipe because
I'm going to dabble into some children's book. I just
found some short stories that my mother wrote, my late mother,
and they're all children's stories. I'm trying to get them publish.
But then you wrote Your Parsidental Housewife. But now you've
written a fun novel, and as I read it, I
(26:06):
had to laugh because we've all, really many of us.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I won't say we all, but many of us have dated.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Men that swept us off their feet, usually for all
the wrong reasons, and we wear blinders for that reason.
And then the hard reality, dark reality comes out. And
that's pretty much what the accident of the Sisterhood takes
you on. So talk to us about the plot which
I just hinted at, but go deeper.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Well, as you said earlier, the book is I Think
Big Little Eyes, and Jenna Bloom, Who's a Love Who's
the New York Times Best Felling author, wrote this, and
she wrote that I think Leanne Moriarty Moriarity is Big
Little Eyes with the dexterized dash of Candace Bushnell Sex
in the City, And really it's about four women one
(26:56):
man caught in a web of love, lust and lives,
and through the power of sisterhood they unravel him. And
what I love about this book and the reason it's
called the accental Sisterhoods, And again my through line of
being accidental is throughout our lives, there are different sisterhoods
that come about when you're in college, you know, your roommate, sororities,
(27:20):
or however your first job. There's a sisterhood of all
of you young women. Are these young women together, working,
going out. Then there's love marriage and the baby carriage.
The sisterhood's of that. And then now with the breast cancer,
there was a new sisterhood that was formed with women
that obviously are not blood relatives, but that you have
(27:43):
a connection with. And I'll get to in a minute too,
because I've just had the first annual Actional Sisterhood Awards
to really acknowledge and celebrate women who do these kinds
of things and without recognizing it really touched the lives
of others. But so the actual tuthood became the dream,
like yours became a dream during my radiation to write
(28:07):
because I don't. I wanted to write a novel, a
romantic novel. Having done as you said, my how too,
and this is just so much fun and it was
pathartic because I call it a work of faction. It's
fact and only those close to me really know the
truth and they're sworn to secrecy or something actually Ted
(28:27):
told Michael Faldom. And then there's obviously when you write fiction,
you have a whole landscape of imagination to take the
book to. And the characters are four different women who
come together due to this one man, and there's not envy,
there's not anger, and it's a really different twist on
(28:48):
women and relationships, not torn apart by the fact that
this one man was, forgive the expression, screwing them in
so many ways, but that they they recognized that they
were stronger together and could do something about it, and
they weren't angry and they figured out ways being very different.
(29:09):
One's twenty eight, she's the intelligence officers, a heart surgeon,
wants a lawyer, and then there's the actional housewife. I
wonder who that could be. So and they ranged in
age from you know, twenty eight to you know whatever.
So it was really fun and the expression of sisterhood
was really something that I enjoyed and now carry it
(29:33):
forward as both a community and a new sisterhood. Advocating
for it speaking, I did an International Women's Day, also
partnering with Kendri Scott on fundraising form offit as well
as as I said, I just gave the first Accidental
Sisterhood Award at the event a few weeks ago and
(29:54):
just was really something warm and touching and dear to
me and the person who received.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
It's so nice how you're using this to pay it forward,
which is really what you know. It's so important in
everything you do because everyone there's so many women who
are going through these phases.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
I missed the love marriage and the baby carriage. I
had the love of marriage, but not the baby carriage.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I had love marriage, and you've got cancer because it
happened right after I got married. You know, right now,
a lot of my friends, as I reference, are in
their sixties and have either been retired or have said
I'm done, or are just like this's got to be more.
And they're all in this like what next, But you
(30:39):
know they're facing the A word agism, not asshole. Earlier
you face asshole in life when you date the wrong men,
and then later you face ages and where nobody cares
about you. And they're dealing with that now and I'm
trying to help a lot of women through that. What
I thought was interesting about the book, I have to ask,
I know that you were married and then you were divorced.
Was there any of this it was possibly part of
(31:00):
your life?
Speaker 4 (31:02):
Well, yes, that's why I call it a work of faction,
because you know you can't you can't be a good writer.
I don't think, particularly a fictional writer if you don't
have experiences that you can draw upon. So the characters
are rooted in both people that I've met and you know,
(31:23):
the gentleman there as clearly there was somebody in my
life that was the mode of inspiration for the character.
Not quite as devious as that. And that's what I said.
The beauty of writing fiction is you can take it
and just run with it however you want. There's nobody
stopping you. You don't have to worry about fact checking.
(31:47):
But it's so Yes, there is a great deal of
truth in terms of the the seeds of inspiration. Uh.
And we'll leave it there and hopefully to two things.
I'm hoping, Nellie, that this could be a series, the
actual house Sisterhood series. The first book is called The
(32:08):
Diehard Romantic and I'm working on the second, And that
the Sisterhood will grow and evolve and enough we trust,
of course, is the fact that sisterhoods can be formed.
As I said before, in so many ways. I want
to just touch upon a point too that I made
the accellal Sisterhood award that I just gave the first
tune really was. I decided that the first recipient was
(32:33):
a woman who is a parking ballet and Moffat. I
met her the morning I was found out my diagnosis,
went through my little haha with GWP, and then swept
back into reality and was crying and scared. I walked
downstairs and there's this wonderful woman who went to get
my car and comes towards me, and her name, as
(32:55):
it turned out, is irma Godwin and she was a
gift from God and has been a win in my
life and so many others. For the joy and for
the just being pure of heart that she showed me
understanding because she sees so much going on there, and
her simple little gestures are hugs, which turned into a
(33:16):
routine every time I would be there, developed into a
friendship and a sisterhood. And actually next month I'm going
to go with her to her gospel church to her
because we talked about Baptists. And it's the smallest little
thing though that can make such a difference. And that's
why I speak to the beauty, the power and magic
of sisterhood. Small things small dreams, whether it's you know,
(33:39):
taking a cooking course or writing a book. Small dreams,
whether it's just you know, finding these people, going to
Tuscany or taking a daycation for yourself. It's not about
the size. It's about what matters to you that makes
you feel both present, feel that your life is of
(34:00):
value in your mind, though not what others judge. And again,
you and I, having been through so much, really really
really embracing the present, because that's all you have control over.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Well, you know, you've underscored so many things. It took
me a while to get there. I've had some bumps
and lumps along the way, as many have, because you know,
as I said at the beginning, sometimes you make life happen,
and sometimes life happens to you. But what I've learned
through this and as you get older, you gain wisdom,
and that wisdom can be pretty awesome because it also
makes you realize not to take things too seriously.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
You know, I love Irma. I have a Wilma.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Wilma is Wilma. My Wilma is going through cancer. She's
under continual cancer treatment.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
That's what I would say.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
She is the daughter of our family's yard man Willie.
Willie was the pallbearer top pallbearer at my dad's funeral.
And when my mother died and everyone and seemed to
leave us as we were no longer worthy because my
mother was dead and I didn't matter. Literally, it was
Wilma who was the last person to come to our
(35:11):
house to help us pack up the dregs. Gave my
husband and I an anniversary card because we had to
move on her anniversary. Baked this the cake after my
mother died and brought us food when the meal trains
that we we actually cleaned out the refrigerator waiting for
cast roles and never we were completely.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Thank you Chad Nigga, Wilma, Wilma Knie.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Despite being and she stream, she showed up for every
day of the day. Tale, she showed ate the card
and did whatever she could.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
And she's my she's my sister.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
Well and I thought understand that it was. It was
interesting because Irma also shared with me that her sisters
we did a TV segment too locally talking about this
and I was I just have such joy out of
watching her, but her family said sent her a text.
What she forwarded to me, how proud their mother would
(36:08):
be to see her. And she's a sixty one year
old woman. She raised her son on her own. You know,
she's had a tough life and she's just been so
blown away that she's she matters and although at the
same time she's very much at peace with her independence
and loves the fact she used to work for the
(36:28):
Department of Transportation, retired and just wanted to do something
and so she became a parting vallet. And I just
get said joy both talking when I honored her with
a skit and we celebrated her at the Camp Scott affair,
and also just we talk talk probably once every two
(36:48):
weeks now because just our lives are busy. I'm going
to see her on Monday because I have one of
my follow ups and she calls me the hugger because
I'm always hugging, and it's just yeah, to your point,
the journey is scary. The journey is different for each
of us. But it's also how we can try to
make that journey a bit easier and also to embrace
(37:12):
what's around us, be it people, places, things and sisterhood
and just life.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
And you'll meet friends.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
It's funny when you have a major illness or going
through we call a very rough time. It could be
a bad divorce, you know, taking care of a dying parent,
you name it. There will be people who you will
never expect will show.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Up at the door to be there for you.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
And that's happened to me over and over and for
people you who just disappear. You just got to slice
it all up in a little chunks.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
And process it.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
You know.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
I think it's it's so great that you talk about
this because so many people, like I said, are going
through this. And one thing that underscores importance of Irma
and Wilma and something I actually had to learn because
I was the powerhouse pr woman who you know, wore
the power suits and struggle fast and looked this way
and didn't talk to anybody. He was always working, working, working,
(38:07):
And I married a man who talks to everybody. So
when he and I would go to the bank together,
like to make the same deposits, all the tellers would
be David's here, I'm nobody, okay. He would talk to
the Falafel man, And I got to tell you, the
Falafel's man name was Mo. I must have passed him
a hundred times, no thousands of times going to work
(38:28):
and never said hell load than the falafel man. But
David was buddies with MO. And MO sent me because
of David some Egyptian pyramid of healing when I was
diagnosed with cancer.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
Yeah, and I learned to people to MO.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
So you got to speak to the Erma's and the
Mo's in life and treat them with respect.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Well, it's just, you know, it's not just I am
that way. I'm I look to people. I've always been
a hugger, if you will. And my father was always
somebody who just embraced people as well as had a
great sense of humor. And so those were gifts he
gave me. When I look at how I relate to people.
(39:10):
And you read the book and you read about my mother,
I mean, excuse me, Jules Malone's mother, who is a
protagonist in the book. And again there are pieces of
truth there that really what happened throughout our life shapes
us for who we are and how we respond to people.
It doesn't mean, to your point that we can't evolve,
(39:32):
but those things are imprinted on our sense of self
most importantly, and how we also deal with other people.
So to your point about paying it forward, to embracing,
to saying hi to everybody, and to just recognizing we're
all special human beings and sometimes people can make us
feel less special. When you're slapped with a life changing diagnosis,
(39:56):
you can say, why me attitude is to not do that.
My attitude is to take charge. But not everybody's like that.
And I think you also have to give yourself permission
to react the way that's ripe for you, and not
how others feel you should react and make you perhaps
feel guilty, because if they do, those people shouldn't be
(40:17):
in your life. We have to do things on our terms,
but also recognize you need to move forward at some point,
or if you get stuck, you're just you're just wasting time,
wasting whatever precious time you.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Have exactly you know? So you know you have these
great characters in The Accidental Sisterhood. How what was the
process of creating them? And how long did it take
you to write this book?
Speaker 4 (40:43):
It's sounds like being pregnant about nine months. The characters
I knew, as you'll see, they're all have their names
begin with Jay obviously, the Jolish Malone who is the
central character is a a meta of meat, and so
(41:03):
that was fairly easy to create that character. But then
I wanted characters that I felt would really both appeal
and resonate with readers, women readers that or were of
the different ages and different professions and that had gone
through different life journeys to get where they got. So
(41:24):
without getting into each one, as I said, one's a lawyer,
one's a intelligence officer. She's young, and she then gets
involved in other things that really intrigue her. So and
then one's a pediatric surgeon, but their backstories are what
makes them interesting. And have people who are very different
(41:46):
though and the way they look at things can come
together these women because they share and understanding of how
strong mate could be, both individually and even stronger together.
So the process was of research. So when I came
up with a character like I had to learn a
little bit. You know, I'm like a master of a lot.
(42:06):
I mean, this is not War on Peace where I
you know, went back into hours and hours and hours
of research to make sure the snow fell exactly correctly
in Russia. But it was something that I wanted to
be credible. So when I spoke about the Teescang Airmen
of World War Two. It was authentic, and that's what
(42:28):
I loved because it was like one thing led to
another Melanie and another and another, and it was just
like I was continually learning, continually writing, which made I
think the story more powerful and also something where others
can learn more because it's fine. I mean, I call
the chapters popcorn I'm not sorry, potato chip chapters because
(42:48):
you can read one one, read another one because they're short,
have a mutch of persepeccup. But there's also enough I
believe substance in it, and Good Read seems to think so,
because they've given it four stars. Pluss that you know,
it was a tale that to your point, you can
relate to. Some of it could be a little crazy
and out there, but there were elementary for so many
(43:10):
different audiences and so many different ages to feel some
relatability and so yeah, I know that I feel that
and also then offer positivity and the gifts that these
detours and toxic relationships can and abuse can impact.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
Well, so many of us, including me, get into them.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I love the word digmatized because I was digmatized at
thirty by uh, we're friends now, believe or not, but
we'll call him Btn. I called him better than nothing
because it was all about the sex. It was great
sex at thirty. You want great sex. At sixty six
you just want any six sex. But at thirty he
was a great lover.
Speaker 4 (43:50):
But you know what you go.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
And then I went to a dinner party and you're
at the dinner party only ever get that at the
dinner party with friends, and a friend of mine said, yeah,
my friend A is dating this guy Bees, and B
was the guy I was supposedly in love with and
was my boyfriend, and Bee was sleeping around with other
people who were also digmatized, and.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
And then one day he kept coming in and out
of my life because you can't. You know, when you
get to that digmatization, you get hooked. It's hard to
on hook from it when there's not something else down
the road. And I think for me, the the dropped
it point was when I came home day and was
looking under my table, my table, kitchen table, my New
York City apartment, and I found two double bags of
(44:37):
his with all his unpaid Billson eviction notices.
Speaker 4 (44:43):
Oh wow, wow, maybe we'll save you in my next
book is.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Well, I'm working on mine and he's gonna be in mine.
So b BT that we're friends now, believe or not.
He came to see my husband in the hospital.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
Go figure.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
He's one of my biggest fans. But anyway, it was weird.
You have to get out of it. You have to
get out of it, and for everyone then if you're
in a toxic relationship, get out of it right.
Speaker 4 (45:08):
It's hard though, it's hard because you're riugmatized. It's an addiction.
You know you're to love, but you know there's and
then the romance of it, and you think that fantasy
is something that wow, you know, it's like happily ever after.
But if we think about that fairy tales, we never
(45:29):
aside from Shrick, really know how those relationships ended up.
But you know, I still believe in you know, falling
in love and romance, but you don't have quite the
gross colored glasses and red flags become read much faster
than they did when you're younger.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
To your Well, I'm approaching my eighteenth wedding anniversary and
I'm decided that I really just want to fall and
laugh because at the end of the day, in love
is in love is something you fall into but eventually
it all settles into a place. But you always want
to have laughter. So I want to fall in laugh
for the long run. So if somebody who makes me laugh, it.
Speaker 4 (46:08):
Starts to do that work. Yeah, yeah, you have to
plan what a he's going to be doing that's going
to make you laugh.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
We laugh every day because he I mean, I make
him laugh all the time because I'm such a domestic crazy.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
We just did movie New Orleans was laughter.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
We just lived through Marty Grass and made total asses,
crazy people at ourselves. Every day we were laughing. We
just we just lifted a lot of burden out of
our life. And by lifting the heavy you can let
in more light. And I think we both went through
that process in the past couple of years.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
So I think that's what did it.
Speaker 4 (46:46):
So great. Well, happy anniversary, Well thank you.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
And you know, I see him smirk, and I know
when he's looking at me and going, hey, that's not
really how you cut bread, you know, Like I don't
cut bread. I just wacket, you know, and that's my loaf.
And he's like, no, you got a slice that whack.
It's like little things like that, and the how you know,
I'm not domestic, but I'll see the smirk on his
face and I'll know I'll make him laugh in about
two seconds.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
So we get laughter is the best medicine.
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Yeah, it really is. Laughter is the best medicine.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
And then when he sees me buy one of my tips,
I'll buy two giant butternut squashed and lift weights and
use him as weights and then cut him up and
eat him. So that get my exercise and then my
health and nutrition. So I try to use all my
vegetables these ways to do other things. Yeah, my workout vegetables. Yeah, yeah,
(47:41):
we're all my vegimin and they're all Take the inside
of the egg white and put around my eyes.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
You know, I don't know why, but I screw up
thinking that was gonna be good for my eyes.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
Did it work? You know?
Speaker 3 (47:53):
I haven't Acts are so expensive. I haven't tried. I'm
so careful to preserve my one egg. We're on an
egg allowance right now, got it?
Speaker 4 (48:02):
Gotcha?
Speaker 3 (48:03):
Well, eggs and beans. Well, I've really enjoyed chatting with
you again. I'm talking with Julie Edelman. She's known as
the Accidental Housewife. Her website is www dot Juli Edelman
dot com.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
The book is called The Accidental Sisterhood and us we trust.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
I think it's great. You're going to do a sisterhood series.
That's fun.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
I'm impressed and I'm inspired because I'm working on I
have like four books that are you know, that are
like fiction fiction fraction, and I just got to you know,
as my husband says, just stop everything else is just
start writing and just heel away everything else is distracting
you because you're going to be a best seller.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
He's my biggest cheerleader. So you inspired me for that reason.
Speaker 4 (48:44):
So thank you, well, thank you. I mean you inspire
so many with your podcasts and people you have on
I mean I've listened and I'm just honored and thank
you for including me as a part of that group
of women to help inspire and celebrate and know that
we're fearlessly fabulous.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
Well here's the fearless fabulous you. Maybe I'll start an award. Meanwhile,
this book, which I have in my hand, I'm paying
it for it because my girlfriend, who was the stage
one breast cancer, just had surgery for her thyroid.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
I was sitting with her the other day telling her
about the book. She's like, I'm gonna buy it. I
know she should, but I said, I'm gonna give to.
Speaker 2 (49:24):
You this one while you're recuperating from your surgery because
I want you to laugh, because surgery sucks, but you've
got to make your friends laugh their way out of it.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
Right absolutely. And by the way, it's also available now
in audio. And I did the audio book as well.
I had a channel on my inner Meryl Street. But
it was a lot of time.
Speaker 3 (49:41):
I'm impressed. That's hard.
Speaker 4 (49:44):
Well, it was. I love doing all that stuff though.
It was really really fun, except it's a quickie antidote.
One of my characters is a gentleman who's the news
producer and he comes from along the Island and when
I wrote about him, he had a list. Well, when
I try, I had to do the list and long
Island accent something had to give. I could not do it.
(50:05):
So yeah, so the lift stayed, but the Long Island
accent went by by because, like I said, I am
not Meryl Street, and I could have used her in
those moments to help me through some of these voiceovers.
But it was a hoot. The whole thing was a
who and I really strongly encourage anyone listening women to
(50:25):
like I said, it doesn't have to be something like
writing a book. But if you're going through any kind
of life changing journey to your point, divorce, empty nesting,
just a new job, find something that at least gives
you some joy and a little dream, from cooking class
to just taking yourself to the beach for the day,
(50:46):
whatever it is, or something radios and just you know,
stay present, embrace the moment, and count on your sisterhood.
We are there their hair.
Speaker 3 (50:58):
And us we trust I and I really appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
And for everyone listening, I hope you've really enjoyed the summit,
because I have Julie, You're great.
Speaker 3 (51:10):
Mister hood. So as usual, you have the choice.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
In life to live the way you want, choose it
on your terms, and always stay fearless and fabulous. Thank
you follow me at Melanie Fabulous and you can hear
this show and all of them on over sixty five
podcast channel, So listen, share, and thank you for joining me,
and thank you Julie.
Speaker 4 (51:33):
Pleasure
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Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hello, and welcome to Fearless Fabulous You. I am your host,
Melanie Young, and we are going to have a really
fun show today because I'm all about spotlining, empowering women,
and helping you live life on your terms. You know,
you've probably heard me say sometimes you make life happen,
and so sometimes life just happens to you and you
make the most of it. And goodness knows, I've talked
(01:05):
and written about turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones, and
taking things and repurposing, recycling and rethinking and rewiring your life. Well,
my guest today has done that. In fact, her life
has been rather accidental and constructive in the process.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Her name is Julie Edelman.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
She is a best selling author of a book called
The Accidental Housewife. Okay, I had to love that book
because I'm like the accidental domestic diva as a not
and we'll talk about that. So I love this title
and the book and her wonderful tips on taking care
of your home and your life. She now has pivoted
(01:47):
sort of to write her first novel. It's called The
Accidental Sisterhood, and I received a copy of it. It
says in Us, we trust, and it's a really fun read.
Some say it's kind of like Sex in.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
The City meets you know, big little lies.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
You know.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I just had fun reading it, and.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I felt I was part of it because we've all
had dud relationships. And in this case, we'll talk about
the plot and you'll see where it goes. But first
I want to welcome Julie Edelman and find out her
story about how she became accidental.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Welcome Julie.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Well, heya, that was quite the intro. I mean, you
just keep going. I feel like we were separated at
first accidentally or what have you.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah, or maybe it was just intentionally meant to be.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's true because you know, you have to pivot and
things just happen, give me a little guest and my
listeners a little background on you.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Where did you grow up?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
And we talked a little bit before the show about
our mutual Jewish guilt, so we have something common there.
So talk to us about who was Julie Edelman? Who
was Julie Edelman before she became a best selling author?
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Well, Julie Edelman. My true line to your point is accidental.
It actually back to my birth and my mother told
me I was not planned. But that's not quite the
story for today. But the accidental roots and also the
roots of sisterhood. There are two sort of through lines
(03:14):
with all I've been doing, and I really realized that
more recently the latter one of sisterhood. But accidental came
about when I was loved Marriage and a Baby Carriage.
I was working as an executive for Sauce and Sachi
in New York City. I'd gotten married, so loved Marriage
and a baby carriage proceeded, and all of a sudden,
(03:37):
I was thrust into a world that I wasn't really
prepared for in terms of having to work, also having
to take care of the home, having to take care
of a child, and if I didn't do it. No
one else was going to because my husband at a
time didn't care that toilet bowls looked like paintball targets.
But really what also generated from that was the fact
(04:01):
that you're thrust into these situations accidentally. I mean, I
didn't grow up saying I wanted to hold the toilet
brush in my hand. I grew up, actually, Melanie, thinking
I would be holding a microphone and hosting like Katie
Kuric was, you know, a show. But life has its
way of the detours and so forth, and so out
(04:22):
of that, I started to become this lifestyle expert. And
I realized too that I needed to have a hook,
you know, something at the same time that people could
relate to. And I was doing a lot of segments
on the view and at the time Bill Getty, who
is Barbara Barbara Walters who as we all you know,
respect and love was my my icon, you know, who
(04:45):
I looked up to. And I said, you know, I
got this great idea for creating this concept called master
of her Domain. It was Seinfeld and he said, well,
that's all right, but accidental houselights might have more to it.
I had no clue though, Melanie where that lead other
than the title, but it really came to embrace both
what I was feeling, both guilt inefness, having no time,
(05:09):
no real interest in being a housewife, and certainly no
Martha F skills, and at the same time trying to
as if they keep my home free from health inspectors,
my son from starvation, and my sanity in checks. And
so the Accidental Housewife came to the rescue, both in
terms of coming up with these quirky tips that women
(05:30):
could do very simply using products around the house, and
also forming a community accidentally with these like minded women
who were feeling guilty and found now that they were
no longer alone. And thus the book was rich. It
became a best seller, and the rest home you say,
is accidental history.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Well that's interesting.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Accidentally, how did you get into television, because that's not
that easy.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I've worked in public relations in New York City, so
I know what grueling.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Role and amount of work it is in advertising. The
same with public relations, you're just constantly servicing clients. I
used to say I ran a brothel versus a PR
agency because I was constantly sir having to assign people
to service my clients and hope they were happy. How
did you move into I mean that was a big
jump from Sachi and Sachi. Yeah, that's nice to the view. Okay,
(06:23):
so how did that note? Because I could have been accidental.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Well, what happened was a couple of things. When I
had my son Luke, I also started to start my
own business and it was carpidy and communication. And during
that I wrote a book, another children's book called once
Upon Recipe, and I was sort of taking frestured fairytales
like I would do excuse me, the princess and the
(06:50):
p and instead of pe, she would be sleeping on popcorns.
And I would create these fun, interactive what I call
frontivities for kids to spend more time and parents with,
you know, at meal time and it's a learning you know,
cooking can be both fun because it's math, it's reading.
So there was a bunch of different things. So this
(07:11):
book where I did these sort of fractured fairy tales
and funtivities, someone quite and this is just accidental, was
looking for somebody to talk about kids and cooking. So
I was invited on CBS The Morning Show back then,
and that then led to my being asked to do
other segments, and eventually, through some television and product marketing,
(07:37):
was asked to appear on the view on behalf of
representing some products and then became a lifestyle expert. So
it was a series of dots connecting over a period
of time, because you're right, it just didn't happen like
by chance. It happened because of one dot connecting to
the other, and before long recognizing, like you said, that
(07:59):
I had to have something more special than being a
lifestyle expert as you and pr No, you got to
cut through the clutter, and so that brand became both
my moniker as well as you know, who I was
as a person.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, you know, for anyone listening who's like floundering, as
like half my friends are right now because they're at
that age.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
You know, you really have to cut through.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
The clutter, and it may be accidental or strategic, but
you got to come up with a brand or an
identity that you you own and you closely identify with,
and that's super important. That's kind of how I ended
up with Fearless, Fabulous You, which you're going to get
to in a second. Because so anyway, your book before we.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Get to that.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
The The Accidental Housewife has a great fun tip because
my favorite one is to clean your diamonds with vodka,
because that's like something.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I would do.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Why don't you share a couple of other fun and
popular tips just to give everybody a taste of what
that's all about in that book.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Well, to your point, sip was the vodka because it's
a natural sanitizer, and I was also looking for things
that were multitaskers. So you can use vodka to sanitize countertops.
You can put it in flowers, by the way, because
it'll perk them up because what it does is the
hibbit ethylene production, which causes flowers to work. Who knew
(09:22):
I'd be Bill Ny the science guye And it also,
to your point, cleans diamonds, which my jeweler said, please
use the cheap stuff because don't waste the good stuff.
So that was one of the tests. Another one which
was a really fun one and I debuted it, I
remember on the Today Show, and it was using alka
seltzer to clean your toilets and always having fun because
(09:46):
I love to have a sense of humor. I would say, plump, plump,
and you take two tablets and you would go plump, plump,
businesses away would go you're poop and whiz. And because
it's visiting action from alca selzer and the citua gases
actually breaks down the minerals and some of the grime,
so and then you didn't have to obviously put your
(10:06):
hands in the toilet bowl. You would use a little
scrip brush. So that was another fun one that I
call upon. And also with spring just around the corner,
here's one for you. Do you think the best time
to wash windows is on a sunny day or a
cloudy day?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Well most people would say sunny, but I bet you're
gonna say cloudy.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Well, yes, ding, you got that right. On a sunny day,
it makes them dry faster and so you get streaks.
So you're doing them over and over and over again,
which is not fun.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
So what do you use for that?
Speaker 3 (10:41):
What do you use to clean the windows?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
I use vinegar, white wine vinegar like a third and
two thirds water and then it's sweety if you have
it to go up and now. But also when you're
doing it, obviously start from the top down, but do
it in round circle sort of life drappy kid, you know,
wax on wax off because that also helps with the
way it dries and looks and you know, creates it
(11:06):
from having to go over and over and over again.
But doing windows is a thankless job, So Mike, instead,
you know, get blinds and nobody looks out. I'm teusing,
but you know that's the actional house my point.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
You know, it's a thankless job. I think the apple
Sellser's is cleaning out a refrigerator. I have a fear
of refrigerators because my mother was a food hoarder, so
whenever I go home, it looked like somebody was murdered
in my refrigerator because everything we explode. Do you have
anything for cleaning out refrigerators.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Well, first of all, you don't want to overfill them
or underfill them because it also waste energy. There's certain
lens is balanced, that's right. But again I like using
natural products like white wine vinegar. I wouldn't use vasdo
here because it's a lot of box that you'd have
to use. I would just keep it chilled in the
freezer for when you're done. But yeah, I tend and
also don't forget to do the gas because the gaskets
(12:02):
create can have bacteria forming on them, as can the handles.
The handles are something you should clean really really often too,
because of all the bacteria, the mold, the mildew. And
back in the day when you had those little trays
underneath where water collected that the pans, the drift pants,
that was a lovely place for roaches to come for
(12:23):
cocktail hour. But they were smart enough because it's harder.
But fortunately today's fridges don't have that. But you should
do it quarterly, you know, you don't have to get
crazy with it, and when good comes up, get rid
of it. Another one of my favorite appliances and an
easy way to cook, to clean and excuse me, are
(12:44):
your microwaves. And there are really simple, non toxic waves.
To fill a bowl with water, squeeze a lemon in it,
and then put it into the microwave and let it
and if you would steam it for two to three
minutes or three to five, depending how it is from
over youth. And then what happens is the steam helps
(13:04):
to the slide the gunk and there's no chemical residue residue,
excuse me. And when you take it out you also
sort of get a bonus facial because of the steam.
So it's sort of a multitasking task if you will
to clean and steam your face.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Well, what's so funny.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I've always thought that way about the dishwasher, Like when
my husband is a domestic he's domestic David.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
I'm not domestic Melanie.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
He's domestic David, and he'll do the dishwasher and I'll
offer to unload it so I can get that beautiful
facial steam.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
And it really is fabulous.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
And I'm all about vinegar for cleaning, but we're going
to switch to all the vodka. We get a lot
of samples of booths sent to us and a lot
of it stuff I don't care about.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
So now I'm going to look at cleaning.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
With it because we get in a nightly fight because
I like to clean things and somehow he doesn't. He
thinks you could just wipe things with water like his
frugal mom taught him.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
But having lived in a horde hoarding kitchen, I like to.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Really spotlessly clean everything and dis in fact, and I
don't like you. I don't like chemicals, So I like
the idea of using ingredients that you can find, you know,
at your local costco.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Or wherever convenience store. They're inexpensive.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
And really white vinegar is a workhorse, so is vodga
and also cheap white wine or now what I call
artificial wine. We're getting a lot of samples of that
sent to us, and for me personally, it's undrinkable because
that's just me.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
But I'm repurposing all of it into other things like
salad dressing.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
And now repurposing is great. And another one, by the way,
for cleaning your dishwasher is to use tang or any
of those granulated really because they have atrick acid in it.
And actually you can multi tabscare. One more tip on
this and then you know, I'll share some other thoughts
on the other thing we're going to get to. But
(14:53):
you can actually I call it's fish in the dishwasher.
You can actually cook in the dishwas you put it,
you put the tang in, you know, into the dispenser.
You can run it on a full cycle. But if
you wrap a piece of salmon and you add a
little white wine, a little lemon, little seasoning to it,
a little Dijon mustard, and you tightly wrap it in
(15:17):
the tinfoil, you can actually have steamed salmon after the
course of the cycle is done, so you're multicasting, you're
cleaning and what I call clean cuisine. So there's another tip.
And then just have a glass of bugli waiting for you,
or if you want to stip with your vodka.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
That's really fun.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I've heard about cookie a steak on a car ege
in which I haven't done. But I hear you can
do that too, but I haven't done it yet. But
it's interesting because we're always looking. Right now, everybody's worried
about the price of eggs. Do you have I have
some tips on eggs substitutes, but first I'll ask you
do you have any I do?
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I act before I even went there today because I
wanted to be sure they had them, But yes, they
clearly the price is escalated. I'm wondering when there's gonna
be a shortage on chicken, you know, because there's no eggs.
What's what's the chicken?
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Exactly?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
That's the question. I'm podder when that's I'm going to
hit us next.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Well, you know, it's like what came first the egg
short to the chicken?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Well, we know it's the eggs, and my trader Joe's
was completely devoid of eggs the other day. I actually
went to my local grocer and bought eggs to have
a biscuit this morning because it was cheaper to go
buy the eggs at the salad bar than it is
to buy the eggs.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
At the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
It's kind of crazy, but so have you ever used
made eggs cooked with aqua faba, which is an egg
white substitute.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
I have. I'm not a big egg white subperson. I'd
rather I love edg white, So I just take a
little yoki out and make them fresh from the good
old shell. So yeah, uh so, no, I have not
an answer to your question. I tried them one just
didn't like the idea of what it was.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Well for anyone listening who doesn't know, I did an
article on it for The Vegan Life, because it's great
if you are vegan. So if you take your can
of chickens or garbanzos as they call them, in the
can and you take the juice out of that and
you whip the hell out of it, and you have
to whip the hell out of it, it can be
used as a meringue, or you can use it with
(17:25):
certain measurement detail as an egg white substitute, and they
call it aqua faba, and I agree with you, it's not.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
It doesn't replace the egg.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
But if there's an egg shortage in you're despot for eggs,
it may be a solution in the interim.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Well, I will put that into my accidental brain. But
it also sounds like it requires more work. And I'm
also somebody who likes he its. But I've had to
come over and have meringue at your house. Please.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
My other one, and they we're going to move on,
is when I have all we eat a lot of salad.
I'm a salad girl. I love salad with whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
And when everything starts to will, I put it all
in a blunder with whatever yogurt I have in the
refrigerator or whatever, almond milk, whatever, and I make what
I call my version of my gaspacho, which is left over.
I call it salad to soup and just blend the
hell out of it. And it's actually pretty yummy. And
(18:20):
it's also how I handle vegetables I don't like, like broccoli.
You know, it's if I mush it. If I mush it,
it's better. I love broccol Oh, that's so funny.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I like it mushed. I like it mushed.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Sometimes I go through phases where I like it, and
then sometimes I'm like, I can't look at it anymore.
You know, when you try to eat seasonally, sometimes you're
eating the same dish every day.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
It's too much.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
So we share another sisterhood. We are both breast cancer survivors.
You were diagnosed in twenty twenty three, so you're much
more recent than I, who was diagnosed in two thousand
and nine. Talk to I said about about that. How
did you find your How was how was it discovered?
Speaker 4 (19:06):
I actually had just I was out in Arizona. I
had just I used to live out there, but I
was visiting my sister in law and we were talking about,
you know, I need to go get a mammogram. I
hadn't with COVID, and I just had sort of gotten
out of my routine, and so I said, as soon
as I get back home, I'm going to go for
you know, a set up an appointment. Well, a few
days later, I was doing my sealthy breast exam and
(19:29):
I discovered this little lunth on the left side of
my breast and of course I went into shop because
I do monthly selfie. It's not you know, great jobs,
but I would check myself out and I said, oh no,
this can't be. You know the myth that if it
doesn't run in your family, you know you have to
get it. But uh, what happened was I was diagnosed
(19:50):
as soon as I got back to Florida with breast cancer. Unfortunately,
I caught it early, and that's why I encouraged everyone
out there to do self exams. I was stage one.
I did have two surgeries because my doctor, doctor s Nicky,
who is amazing from Maffitt Cancer Center here. I did
not like the margins and fortunately again I was I
(20:14):
did radiation sixteen rounds of that versus chemo. So I
felt very fortunate that I a discovered it be the
stage that it was on because as you know full well,
early detection is key to how treatable it is and
your chances for remission. So that began my journey, and
(20:34):
we're going to get into how this what I called
detour I turned into a dream display changing detour and
also continue the passion that I had. Look now, when
you were diagnosed, let me be the interviewer for a
moment if you don't mind your viewers know. But did
you find it through a mammogram, your annual or on
(20:56):
your owner? How does that that?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
There was selfie while I was in Tuscany and I
found a love in my left breast. And when I
came back and we went to the doctor and she said,
I don't like this. I went and had you know,
some diagnostics, and it turned out I had three lumps
on one on both you know, both breasts, and so
they were goners. So I underwent a double mass sectomy
(21:19):
with chemotherapy, but not radiation because the percentiles were not
enough to make me want to go through radiation as
well as chemo, which is a kicker. And then I
went through genetic testing because I have an Ashkenazi Jewish background,
and lo and behold, I have the bracket two genetic mutation.
So I went ahead and then I call it my
year of was living surgically because then you know, masectomy,
(21:41):
I did the reconstruction and then I did saw pango
upherectomy to have my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed later
that same year to reduce my risk of ovarian cancer.
And I do because I have pancreatic cancer history of
my family. I do some surveillance, so you have to
be vigilant.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
You and I both really.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Underscore the importance of touching your breast and checking your
breast regularly. You can't just wait for your annual mammogram
because we both found the lumps the same way.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yeah, no, it's you know, it wasn't something I just
I did it because I just felt I should. But yeah,
I mean it saved my life. It saved your life,
and we I'm an advocate now too, from offit talking
about the importance of that, both in terms of just
early detection and the ability and you know the reality
(22:35):
of it can truly save your life and prolong your life,
and what you have to go through, hopefully is a
little less.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Did you have a lump back to me or were
you able to preserve your breast?
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Yeah, I had a lump back to me, so I
have got both my breath. I there's a in my
book which we'll get to in a moment, but also
just in general, when when doctors and Nicky you know,
came into the room, of course, I'm waiting to hear
what the diagnosis is he's got He says, okay, well
we're going to remove the lump in your left and
he looked at my right breast and he says, and
(23:09):
you know what, I'm going to lift this other breas
so they're even. And I was like, I could care
less about my other breasts, just get this out of me.
But then when he puts the room Melanie, all of
a sudden, I was getting myself, you know, dressed, and
I looked in the car. I started laughing and I said, well, hey,
I'm getting a GWP. I give them the protocol. My
(23:30):
postman of Paul of Breast was getting a lift, so,
you know, out of it again. Much as I do
with my life, I tried to find positivity and humor
amidst the hope. And now I can wrap the T
shirts without bro So yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I never wear bras. Done done with a bros, saving
all that money. It's interesting. I have a very good
friend who was stage one. She ended up getting a
double mess sectomy. And when I underscore everyone's journey is different,
because I have several friends who are stage ones and
they've all had different courses in their journey. She ended
(24:03):
up doing the having the fat removed from her stomach
and here and there, and she looks amazing. She's had
a tummy tuck, She's got gorgeous breasts. I have breast envy.
Hers came out better than mine because I've had mine
taken out, had my implants removed and replaced because my
implants were recalled by the FDA.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Whole another story. But yeah, yeah, you get that.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
You get that note in the mail from your your
your surgeon, going your breasts had been recalled by the FDA.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
You have the option of removing and replacing them.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Okay, I will, but well you know they cause apparently
there's a certain kind of guy called the gummy bears,
which are textured are link to rear forms of lymphoma.
So during COVID, I'm the one who actually went into
New York Sydney to have surgery to have my breast replaced.
And damn if I don't have to carry them around
wherever I moved, Julie, because I'm part of some lawsuit
(24:55):
against I won't say the company, but I have to
carry my breast. But you're in a box label Melanie's breast.
You know, the ones I took out there is some
upstairs in the closet.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
I tol, yeah, I can't.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
I can't talk.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Crazy.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
It's evidence. So like I also had this like uh
CTG come to Jesus. After going through cancer, I closed
my company, I closed my pr agency. I decided that
it all made me sick. And it was fairly dramatic
and drastic and a massive drop of income and other things.
But I wrote a book called Getting Things off my Chest,
(25:32):
A Survivor's Guide to Staying Fearless and Fabulous in the
Face of Breast cancer, and it received.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
A lot of awards.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
It was the beginning of a journey and also the
start of a dream to become an author.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
You have done the same thing. You already were an author.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
You wrote the children's book, which is really cute. I'm
looking at your preaskit on it right now, and it's
a it's a clever book. Once upon a recipe because
I'm going to dabble into some children's book. I just
found some short stories that my mother wrote, my late mother,
and they're all children's stories. I'm trying to get them publish.
But then you wrote Your Parsidental Housewife. But now you've
written a fun novel, and as I read it, I
(26:06):
had to laugh because we've all, really many of us.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I won't say we all, but many of us have dated.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Men that swept us off their feet, usually for all
the wrong reasons, and we wear blinders for that reason.
And then the hard reality, dark reality comes out. And
that's pretty much what the accident of the Sisterhood takes
you on. So talk to us about the plot which
I just hinted at, but go deeper.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Well, as you said earlier, the book is I Think
Big Little Eyes, and Jenna Bloom, Who's a Love Who's
the New York Times Best Felling author, wrote this, and
she wrote that I think Leanne Moriarty Moriarity is Big
Little Eyes with the dexterized dash of Candace Bushnell Sex
in the City, And really it's about four women one
(26:56):
man caught in a web of love, lust and lives,
and through the power of sisterhood they unravel him. And
what I love about this book and the reason it's
called the accental Sisterhoods, And again my through line of
being accidental is throughout our lives, there are different sisterhoods
that come about when you're in college, you know, your roommate, sororities,
(27:20):
or however your first job. There's a sisterhood of all
of you young women. Are these young women together, working,
going out. Then there's love marriage and the baby carriage.
The sisterhood's of that. And then now with the breast cancer,
there was a new sisterhood that was formed with women
that obviously are not blood relatives, but that you have
(27:43):
a connection with. And I'll get to in a minute too,
because I've just had the first annual Actional Sisterhood Awards
to really acknowledge and celebrate women who do these kinds
of things and without recognizing it really touched the lives
of others. But so the actual tuthood became the dream,
like yours became a dream during my radiation to write
(28:07):
because I don't. I wanted to write a novel, a
romantic novel. Having done as you said, my how too,
and this is just so much fun and it was
pathartic because I call it a work of faction. It's
fact and only those close to me really know the
truth and they're sworn to secrecy or something actually Ted
(28:27):
told Michael Faldom. And then there's obviously when you write fiction,
you have a whole landscape of imagination to take the
book to. And the characters are four different women who
come together due to this one man, and there's not envy,
there's not anger, and it's a really different twist on
(28:48):
women and relationships, not torn apart by the fact that
this one man was, forgive the expression, screwing them in
so many ways, but that they they recognized that they
were stronger together and could do something about it, and
they weren't angry and they figured out ways being very different.
(29:09):
One's twenty eight, she's the intelligence officers, a heart surgeon,
wants a lawyer, and then there's the actional housewife. I
wonder who that could be. So and they ranged in
age from you know, twenty eight to you know whatever.
So it was really fun and the expression of sisterhood
was really something that I enjoyed and now carry it
(29:33):
forward as both a community and a new sisterhood. Advocating
for it speaking, I did an International Women's Day, also
partnering with Kendri Scott on fundraising form offit as well
as as I said, I just gave the first Accidental
Sisterhood Award at the event a few weeks ago and
(29:54):
just was really something warm and touching and dear to
me and the person who received.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
It's so nice how you're using this to pay it forward,
which is really what you know. It's so important in
everything you do because everyone there's so many women who
are going through these phases.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
I missed the love marriage and the baby carriage. I
had the love of marriage, but not the baby carriage.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I had love marriage, and you've got cancer because it
happened right after I got married. You know, right now,
a lot of my friends, as I reference, are in
their sixties and have either been retired or have said
I'm done, or are just like this's got to be more.
And they're all in this like what next, But you
(30:39):
know they're facing the A word agism, not asshole. Earlier
you face asshole in life when you date the wrong men,
and then later you face ages and where nobody cares
about you. And they're dealing with that now and I'm
trying to help a lot of women through that. What
I thought was interesting about the book, I have to ask,
I know that you were married and then you were divorced.
Was there any of this it was possibly part of
(31:00):
your life?
Speaker 4 (31:02):
Well, yes, that's why I call it a work of faction,
because you know you can't you can't be a good writer.
I don't think, particularly a fictional writer if you don't
have experiences that you can draw upon. So the characters
are rooted in both people that I've met and you know,
(31:23):
the gentleman there as clearly there was somebody in my
life that was the mode of inspiration for the character.
Not quite as devious as that. And that's what I said.
The beauty of writing fiction is you can take it
and just run with it however you want. There's nobody
stopping you. You don't have to worry about fact checking.
(31:47):
But it's so Yes, there is a great deal of
truth in terms of the the seeds of inspiration. Uh.
And we'll leave it there and hopefully to two things.
I'm hoping, Nellie, that this could be a series, the
actual house Sisterhood series. The first book is called The
(32:08):
Diehard Romantic and I'm working on the second, And that
the Sisterhood will grow and evolve and enough we trust,
of course, is the fact that sisterhoods can be formed.
As I said before, in so many ways. I want
to just touch upon a point too that I made
the accellal Sisterhood award that I just gave the first
tune really was. I decided that the first recipient was
(32:33):
a woman who is a parking ballet and Moffat. I
met her the morning I was found out my diagnosis,
went through my little haha with GWP, and then swept
back into reality and was crying and scared. I walked
downstairs and there's this wonderful woman who went to get
my car and comes towards me, and her name, as
(32:55):
it turned out, is irma Godwin and she was a
gift from God and has been a win in my
life and so many others. For the joy and for
the just being pure of heart that she showed me
understanding because she sees so much going on there, and
her simple little gestures are hugs, which turned into a
(33:16):
routine every time I would be there, developed into a
friendship and a sisterhood. And actually next month I'm going
to go with her to her gospel church to her
because we talked about Baptists. And it's the smallest little
thing though that can make such a difference. And that's
why I speak to the beauty, the power and magic
of sisterhood. Small things small dreams, whether it's you know,
(33:39):
taking a cooking course or writing a book. Small dreams,
whether it's just you know, finding these people, going to
Tuscany or taking a daycation for yourself. It's not about
the size. It's about what matters to you that makes
you feel both present, feel that your life is of
(34:00):
value in your mind, though not what others judge. And again,
you and I, having been through so much, really really
really embracing the present, because that's all you have control over.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Well, you know, you've underscored so many things. It took
me a while to get there. I've had some bumps
and lumps along the way, as many have, because you know,
as I said at the beginning, sometimes you make life happen,
and sometimes life happens to you. But what I've learned
through this and as you get older, you gain wisdom,
and that wisdom can be pretty awesome because it also
makes you realize not to take things too seriously.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
You know, I love Irma. I have a Wilma.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Wilma is Wilma. My Wilma is going through cancer. She's
under continual cancer treatment.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
That's what I would say.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
She is the daughter of our family's yard man Willie.
Willie was the pallbearer top pallbearer at my dad's funeral.
And when my mother died and everyone and seemed to
leave us as we were no longer worthy because my
mother was dead and I didn't matter. Literally, it was
Wilma who was the last person to come to our
(35:11):
house to help us pack up the dregs. Gave my
husband and I an anniversary card because we had to
move on her anniversary. Baked this the cake after my
mother died and brought us food when the meal trains
that we we actually cleaned out the refrigerator waiting for
cast roles and never we were completely.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Thank you Chad Nigga, Wilma, Wilma Knie.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Despite being and she stream, she showed up for every
day of the day. Tale, she showed ate the card
and did whatever she could.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
And she's my she's my sister.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
Well and I thought understand that it was. It was
interesting because Irma also shared with me that her sisters
we did a TV segment too locally talking about this
and I was I just have such joy out of
watching her, but her family said sent her a text.
What she forwarded to me, how proud their mother would
(36:08):
be to see her. And she's a sixty one year
old woman. She raised her son on her own. You know,
she's had a tough life and she's just been so
blown away that she's she matters and although at the
same time she's very much at peace with her independence
and loves the fact she used to work for the
(36:28):
Department of Transportation, retired and just wanted to do something
and so she became a parting vallet. And I just
get said joy both talking when I honored her with
a skit and we celebrated her at the Camp Scott affair,
and also just we talk talk probably once every two
(36:48):
weeks now because just our lives are busy. I'm going
to see her on Monday because I have one of
my follow ups and she calls me the hugger because
I'm always hugging, and it's just yeah, to your point,
the journey is scary. The journey is different for each
of us. But it's also how we can try to
make that journey a bit easier and also to embrace
(37:12):
what's around us, be it people, places, things and sisterhood
and just life.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
And you'll meet friends.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
It's funny when you have a major illness or going
through we call a very rough time. It could be
a bad divorce, you know, taking care of a dying parent,
you name it. There will be people who you will
never expect will show.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Up at the door to be there for you.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
And that's happened to me over and over and for
people you who just disappear. You just got to slice
it all up in a little chunks.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
And process it.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
You know.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
I think it's it's so great that you talk about
this because so many people, like I said, are going
through this. And one thing that underscores importance of Irma
and Wilma and something I actually had to learn because
I was the powerhouse pr woman who you know, wore
the power suits and struggle fast and looked this way
and didn't talk to anybody. He was always working, working, working,
(38:07):
And I married a man who talks to everybody. So
when he and I would go to the bank together,
like to make the same deposits, all the tellers would
be David's here, I'm nobody, okay. He would talk to
the Falafel man, And I got to tell you, the
Falafel's man name was Mo. I must have passed him
a hundred times, no thousands of times going to work
(38:28):
and never said hell load than the falafel man. But
David was buddies with MO. And MO sent me because
of David some Egyptian pyramid of healing when I was
diagnosed with cancer.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
Yeah, and I learned to people to MO.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
So you got to speak to the Erma's and the
Mo's in life and treat them with respect.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Well, it's just, you know, it's not just I am
that way. I'm I look to people. I've always been
a hugger, if you will. And my father was always
somebody who just embraced people as well as had a
great sense of humor. And so those were gifts he
gave me. When I look at how I relate to people.
(39:10):
And you read the book and you read about my mother,
I mean, excuse me, Jules Malone's mother, who is a
protagonist in the book. And again there are pieces of
truth there that really what happened throughout our life shapes
us for who we are and how we respond to people.
It doesn't mean, to your point that we can't evolve,
(39:32):
but those things are imprinted on our sense of self
most importantly, and how we also deal with other people.
So to your point about paying it forward, to embracing,
to saying hi to everybody, and to just recognizing we're
all special human beings and sometimes people can make us
feel less special. When you're slapped with a life changing diagnosis,
(39:56):
you can say, why me attitude is to not do that.
My attitude is to take charge. But not everybody's like that.
And I think you also have to give yourself permission
to react the way that's ripe for you, and not
how others feel you should react and make you perhaps
feel guilty, because if they do, those people shouldn't be
(40:17):
in your life. We have to do things on our terms,
but also recognize you need to move forward at some point,
or if you get stuck, you're just you're just wasting time,
wasting whatever precious time you.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Have exactly you know? So you know you have these
great characters in The Accidental Sisterhood. How what was the
process of creating them? And how long did it take
you to write this book?
Speaker 4 (40:43):
It's sounds like being pregnant about nine months. The characters
I knew, as you'll see, they're all have their names
begin with Jay obviously, the Jolish Malone who is the
central character is a a meta of meat, and so
(41:03):
that was fairly easy to create that character. But then
I wanted characters that I felt would really both appeal
and resonate with readers, women readers that or were of
the different ages and different professions and that had gone
through different life journeys to get where they got. So
(41:24):
without getting into each one, as I said, one's a lawyer,
one's a intelligence officer. She's young, and she then gets
involved in other things that really intrigue her. So and
then one's a pediatric surgeon, but their backstories are what
makes them interesting. And have people who are very different
(41:46):
though and the way they look at things can come
together these women because they share and understanding of how
strong mate could be, both individually and even stronger together.
So the process was of research. So when I came
up with a character like I had to learn a
little bit. You know, I'm like a master of a lot.
(42:06):
I mean, this is not War on Peace where I
you know, went back into hours and hours and hours
of research to make sure the snow fell exactly correctly
in Russia. But it was something that I wanted to
be credible. So when I spoke about the Teescang Airmen
of World War Two. It was authentic, and that's what
(42:28):
I loved because it was like one thing led to
another Melanie and another and another, and it was just
like I was continually learning, continually writing, which made I
think the story more powerful and also something where others
can learn more because it's fine. I mean, I call
the chapters popcorn I'm not sorry, potato chip chapters because
(42:48):
you can read one one, read another one because they're short,
have a mutch of persepeccup. But there's also enough I
believe substance in it, and Good Read seems to think so,
because they've given it four stars. Pluss that you know,
it was a tale that to your point, you can
relate to. Some of it could be a little crazy
and out there, but there were elementary for so many
(43:10):
different audiences and so many different ages to feel some
relatability and so yeah, I know that I feel that
and also then offer positivity and the gifts that these
detours and toxic relationships can and abuse can impact.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
Well, so many of us, including me, get into them.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I love the word digmatized because I was digmatized at
thirty by uh, we're friends now, believe or not, but
we'll call him Btn. I called him better than nothing
because it was all about the sex. It was great
sex at thirty. You want great sex. At sixty six
you just want any six sex. But at thirty he
was a great lover.
Speaker 4 (43:50):
But you know what you go.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
And then I went to a dinner party and you're
at the dinner party only ever get that at the
dinner party with friends, and a friend of mine said, yeah,
my friend A is dating this guy Bees, and B
was the guy I was supposedly in love with and
was my boyfriend, and Bee was sleeping around with other
people who were also digmatized, and.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
And then one day he kept coming in and out
of my life because you can't. You know, when you
get to that digmatization, you get hooked. It's hard to
on hook from it when there's not something else down
the road. And I think for me, the the dropped
it point was when I came home day and was
looking under my table, my table, kitchen table, my New
York City apartment, and I found two double bags of
(44:37):
his with all his unpaid Billson eviction notices.
Speaker 4 (44:43):
Oh wow, wow, maybe we'll save you in my next
book is.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Well, I'm working on mine and he's gonna be in mine.
So b BT that we're friends now, believe or not.
He came to see my husband in the hospital.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
Go figure.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
He's one of my biggest fans. But anyway, it was weird.
You have to get out of it. You have to
get out of it, and for everyone then if you're
in a toxic relationship, get out of it right.
Speaker 4 (45:08):
It's hard though, it's hard because you're riugmatized. It's an addiction.
You know you're to love, but you know there's and
then the romance of it, and you think that fantasy
is something that wow, you know, it's like happily ever after.
But if we think about that fairy tales, we never
(45:29):
aside from Shrick, really know how those relationships ended up.
But you know, I still believe in you know, falling
in love and romance, but you don't have quite the
gross colored glasses and red flags become read much faster
than they did when you're younger.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
To your Well, I'm approaching my eighteenth wedding anniversary and
I'm decided that I really just want to fall and
laugh because at the end of the day, in love
is in love is something you fall into but eventually
it all settles into a place. But you always want
to have laughter. So I want to fall in laugh
for the long run. So if somebody who makes me laugh, it.
Speaker 4 (46:08):
Starts to do that work. Yeah, yeah, you have to
plan what a he's going to be doing that's going
to make you laugh.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
We laugh every day because he I mean, I make
him laugh all the time because I'm such a domestic crazy.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
We just did movie New Orleans was laughter.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
We just lived through Marty Grass and made total asses,
crazy people at ourselves. Every day we were laughing. We
just we just lifted a lot of burden out of
our life. And by lifting the heavy you can let
in more light. And I think we both went through
that process in the past couple of years.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
So I think that's what did it.
Speaker 4 (46:46):
So great. Well, happy anniversary, Well thank you.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
And you know, I see him smirk, and I know
when he's looking at me and going, hey, that's not
really how you cut bread, you know, Like I don't
cut bread. I just wacket, you know, and that's my loaf.
And he's like, no, you got a slice that whack.
It's like little things like that, and the how you know,
I'm not domestic, but I'll see the smirk on his
face and I'll know I'll make him laugh in about
two seconds.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
So we get laughter is the best medicine.
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Yeah, it really is. Laughter is the best medicine.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
And then when he sees me buy one of my tips,
I'll buy two giant butternut squashed and lift weights and
use him as weights and then cut him up and
eat him. So that get my exercise and then my
health and nutrition. So I try to use all my
vegetables these ways to do other things. Yeah, my workout vegetables. Yeah, yeah,
(47:41):
we're all my vegimin and they're all Take the inside
of the egg white and put around my eyes.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
You know, I don't know why, but I screw up
thinking that was gonna be good for my eyes.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
Did it work? You know?
Speaker 3 (47:53):
I haven't Acts are so expensive. I haven't tried. I'm
so careful to preserve my one egg. We're on an
egg allowance right now, got it?
Speaker 4 (48:02):
Gotcha?
Speaker 3 (48:03):
Well, eggs and beans. Well, I've really enjoyed chatting with
you again. I'm talking with Julie Edelman. She's known as
the Accidental Housewife. Her website is www dot Juli Edelman
dot com.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
The book is called The Accidental Sisterhood and us we trust.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
I think it's great. You're going to do a sisterhood series.
That's fun.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
I'm impressed and I'm inspired because I'm working on I
have like four books that are you know, that are
like fiction fiction fraction, and I just got to you know,
as my husband says, just stop everything else is just
start writing and just heel away everything else is distracting
you because you're going to be a best seller.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
He's my biggest cheerleader. So you inspired me for that reason.
Speaker 4 (48:44):
So thank you, well, thank you. I mean you inspire
so many with your podcasts and people you have on
I mean I've listened and I'm just honored and thank
you for including me as a part of that group
of women to help inspire and celebrate and know that
we're fearlessly fabulous.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
Well here's the fearless fabulous you. Maybe I'll start an award. Meanwhile,
this book, which I have in my hand, I'm paying
it for it because my girlfriend, who was the stage
one breast cancer, just had surgery for her thyroid.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
I was sitting with her the other day telling her
about the book. She's like, I'm gonna buy it. I
know she should, but I said, I'm gonna give to.
Speaker 2 (49:24):
You this one while you're recuperating from your surgery because
I want you to laugh, because surgery sucks, but you've
got to make your friends laugh their way out of it.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
Right absolutely. And by the way, it's also available now
in audio. And I did the audio book as well.
I had a channel on my inner Meryl Street. But
it was a lot of time.
Speaker 3 (49:41):
I'm impressed. That's hard.
Speaker 4 (49:44):
Well, it was. I love doing all that stuff though.
It was really really fun, except it's a quickie antidote.
One of my characters is a gentleman who's the news
producer and he comes from along the Island and when
I wrote about him, he had a list. Well, when
I try, I had to do the list and long
Island accent something had to give. I could not do it.
(50:05):
So yeah, so the lift stayed, but the Long Island
accent went by by because, like I said, I am
not Meryl Street, and I could have used her in
those moments to help me through some of these voiceovers.
But it was a hoot. The whole thing was a
who and I really strongly encourage anyone listening women to
(50:25):
like I said, it doesn't have to be something like
writing a book. But if you're going through any kind
of life changing journey to your point, divorce, empty nesting,
just a new job, find something that at least gives
you some joy and a little dream, from cooking class
to just taking yourself to the beach for the day,
(50:46):
whatever it is, or something radios and just you know,
stay present, embrace the moment, and count on your sisterhood.
We are there their hair.
Speaker 3 (50:58):
And us we trust I and I really appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
And for everyone listening, I hope you've really enjoyed the summit,
because I have Julie, You're great.
Speaker 3 (51:10):
Mister hood. So as usual, you have the choice.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
In life to live the way you want, choose it
on your terms, and always stay fearless and fabulous. Thank
you follow me at Melanie Fabulous and you can hear
this show and all of them on over sixty five
podcast channel, So listen, share, and thank you for joining me,
and thank you Julie.
Speaker 4 (51:33):
Pleasure
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