September 17, 2025 • 40 mins
In this evolving world, remaining relevant means being adaptable and open to change, current on trends and topics, and polishing your tech skills. But who defines what is relevant and why does it matter to you? What if you are content to accept yourself as you are? Fearless Fabulous You Host Melanie Young shares her own struggles with staying relevant after moving from New York and her busy PR career. She underscores the importance of purpose, character and self-worth over being relevant.
Fearless Fabulous You is broadcast live Wednesdays at 12 Noon ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
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Fearless Fabulous You is broadcast live Wednesdays at 12 Noon ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Fearless Fabulous You Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hello, and welcome to Fearless Fabulous. You. I am your host,
Melanie Young. Thank you so much for joining me today
on W four WN, the Women for Women Network. You
can hear all my podcasts anytime anywhere on over sixty
five channels, and I invite you to follow me at
Melanie Fabulous. I created the show to help women make
(01:03):
better choices in their life about self care, how they
want to live, who they want to live with, and
how they want to live the best of their life
the rest of their life. It started after I was
diagnosed for breast cancer early stage I'm Okay, underwent treatment
and surgery and reconstruction, and then had this solid like
(01:26):
what am I doing with the rest of my life?
Because when you go through major life upheavals and in
what cancer is just one of them, you kind of
do a hard mental reset what I want to do
with the rest of their life. I talk to a
lot of women about this, and that's why I created Fearless,
Fabulous You, because I do believe you can be fabulous
(01:46):
at every stage and eight your life, and sometimes you
may need to change and adapt accordingly. So the focus
of today's show is the term staying relevant. All the time,
I talk to women all the time. They don't feel relevant.
How can they stay relevant? What's the point of being relevant?
(02:07):
Are there things that are irrelevant in your life? What
is the term relevant? Well? I did a lot of
looking it up and to prepare for this show, and
good Old AI says to stay relevant means to continue
being useful, important, or significant over time by adapting to
(02:33):
changing circumstances, such as learning new skills, staying informed about
current trends and demands, possibly acquiring new knowledge or skill
sets for career growth or business development and expansion and scaling.
It may mean understanding customer needs and a changing audience
(02:56):
as perhaps your audience age is out and a younger
our audience coming is coming. In Gosh, the wine world,
the wine industry or industry I'm very closely affiliated with,
they're trying to deal with that now. Is wine consumption
is down among younger consumers. People over fifty, You're still
enjoying their wine, but nobody's talking to them because the
(03:16):
assumption is are going to die seriously. But people are
trying to figure out how wine can stay relevant among
young wine drinkers, How can certain shows stay relevant. It
goes on and on and on, and it's not just
about business, although it seems to be. It's also about life.
(03:39):
The key signs of staying relevant, and then we're going
to tell you about why it even matters, because really
I've been wondering that for about a couple of weeks now.
The key aspects of staying relevant are being adaptive. Now
that's actually also important as you age, if you want
to really show off your signs of being an old
fart or an old bag, whichever I've been I call
(04:02):
my husband o fart, and I've been called an o bag,
and I've said, oh fart back to the person who
called me an o bag uh. You've got to be adaptive.
If you're set in your ways and say this is
the way it's always been done, or this is the
way I always want to do it, or this is
the way we've done it forever, you're not showing flexibility
and adaptability. You're being rigid, much like your body. If
(04:27):
you don't move your body and stretch your body and
test your body, your body will become rigid, and that's
not good for your health well. Being rigid in your
attitude and not being flexible in how you think about
things and approach things. This is about not stretching and
flexing your body. You're you're not moving your mental muscle
(04:49):
very well, and you will appear to lack relevancy. People
will go old, old school, old time. Move on, let's
get something fresh and younger to think about it. You
know you're going to get replaced if you're at work
in a job, so adaptability is really important. It's also
(05:13):
adaptability challenges your inquisitivity. People who are interested in staying
relevant adaptable are also inquisitive. They're curious, they like to
learn new things. Continuous learning is another sign and aspect
of staying relevant acquiring new knowledge, stretching your mind, not
(05:36):
just saying I want to do the same old thing. Honestly,
I think every day about things I want to take
up today. Today I was taking a morning walk because
I do believe that every morning my body is stiff
as a board, and the only thing that gets it
going along with my mind is moving. So I move
every morning, whether it's swimming, walking, biking, yoga, I get
(06:02):
my mind and body moving. What I like about swimming
and walking is while I'm walking, I'm thinking. I was
actually talking to myself preparing for this show while I
was walking today. But I passed some stables that are
near me in City Park in beautiful New Orleans where
we lived, and I saw two people riding horses, and
I thought to myself, Wow, I lived so close to
(06:24):
these beautiful stables. Why don't I take writing lessons. Why
don't I try riding a horse. I've kind of been
scared of horses ever since Christopher Reed had a terrible
accent the actor. For a very brief millisecond, I took
up writing to impress one of my British boyfriends. You
dump me, so I quit writing. But I thought it's
(06:45):
here take it up. Further down on my walk, I
saw these beautiful tennis courts. I used to play tennis
as a young girl, and I quit slowly after my
messc to me. My hands and my upper body just
was strong. But I've tried pickleball, and I said, why
am I not taking pickleball lessons and really getting back
(07:06):
on the court. I walked a little further and I
started thinking about well, I made a mental list. I
literally made a mental bucket list. You know, you have
bucket lists of travel. God knows I have lots of those,
and I've been fortunate to you know, check off a
lot of my travel bucket list. But I made a
mental bucket list of things I want to learn, skills.
(07:30):
I want to acquire things I want to learn or
I die, and I hopefully I have a couple more
years left, but you never know, right, So I made
a list, and I'd like to learn how to design jewelry.
I'd like to understand artificial intelligence, master it, because that
is important if you want to stay relevant in the workplace.
(07:52):
I like the idea of learning a vintage jewelry because
it's something that interests me and I've been starting to
sell it. I inherited a lot of vintage jewelry. I
love to go to estate sales. I love to study it.
I happen to love vintage jewelry to sell to wear,
and also I'd like to take an art course to
learn how to take vintage jewelry and put it into artwork,
(08:13):
either wearable clothing or framed art. I was at an
exhibit in New Orleans for Street Festival and I saw
this beautiful piece of art made a vintage jewelry, and
it inspired me. I want to do more with my hands.
I've started making granola and I thought, Wow, wouldn't it
(08:34):
be great to try to start a line of granola
and just sell it at local street fars. I think
you see where I'm going with this. The idea is
that I'm open to learning new things, and I have
made a mental bucket list to do it, and I'm
encouraging you to do the same thing. Make a mental
bucket list of things you'd like to continue learning. It
(08:56):
can also be reading. It could be I'd like to
read the Financial Times every day. I'd like to master investing.
I'd like to do that too. I've started reading more
financial newsletters, the thing is if you do this, you
are keeping your mind open and you're keeping yourself relevant
if you choose to enter the workforce, or create a
(09:19):
consulting business, or do something as a side hustle, even
write about a topic that keeps you relevant. I would
love to write about wine for a senior magazine. I wrote,
actually this week, I wrote AARP magazine with a pitch
to create a wine column, because I think that would
(09:42):
be great to create a wine column to talk to
people who know one is talking to. And I don't
think people are talking to people are fifty about wine.
They're too busy wringing their hands trying to figure out
how to reach young people. I think you see where
going anything is possible, and everything is possible if you
decide you want to do it and put your mind
to it. I don't think can't is part of the language.
(10:06):
Can is possible. You can do it if you choose.
And the obstacles like I don't have money, Okay, so
I don't have money to sign up for this course
or this writing program. But there are a zillion meetups.
Go to meetup. There's meetups in your neighborhood, there's meetups online,
type in the type of thing you want to learn
(10:27):
about or connect with people about. You'll find people in
meetups and they're usually free. Another one, believe or not.
I was taking a bike ride over the weekend. I
finally got back on my bike. It had been a
while because I have an issue with riding bikes because
I had a bad fall little girl, So every time
I get on it, I'm petrified someone's going to hit me.
(10:48):
I'm going to go over. A very dear friend of
mine just had a bike accident, was wearing a helmet.
She's okay, but she hurt her shoulder. All those things
trigger my fear of riding a bike. So I got
back on that damn bike and I rode the bike
down to Cafe Dumont for a just amazing iced chilled
(11:09):
cafe ol a at Cafe Dumont. If you ever come
to New Orleans, you must do that. Cafe Dumont, ice coffee,
Cafe Ola and Begnets. And while I was there, I
saw a group of young girls with yoga mats, and
I said, because I also asked questions and talk to everybody,
which is another way to glean information, I said, where
are you doing yoga? Around here, and is it free
(11:31):
and they said, yes, we do a freek with yoga
over and they showed me. We're in the bandstand in
Beautiful City Park and I thought, wow, I'd love to
do that. It's free, it's yoga and it keeps me moving.
And I said where did you learn about it? Because
I'm always curious where to learn about things, and they said,
Reddit r E D D it. Now, if you're not
(11:51):
on Reddit, maybe it's time to get on Reddit because
there's a lot of people there sharing a lot of information.
Which brings me back to technology. If you want to
stay elevant and you want to stay connected, you better
master technology. You don't have to become a TikTok star.
You don't have to be like constantly posting on Instagram
or whatever. But it helps a whole lot. You become
(12:15):
savvy about technology and how it can help you make
your life easier, inform you and keep you relevant. So
maybe take a class you know. Another great source says
meet up and read It is AARP. AARP has a
lot of classes if you're a member. Also, this is
(12:39):
great one if you're not a member of aa Prarie.
I've been a member of aarp forever. I wish they'd
hire me to write a y column. Here's another great
resource for learning and expanding your mind that is often
free or low cost, your public library. My local public library,
which I go to every week because I love checking
(13:00):
out library books. I'm a good old fashioned book reader,
even though I do have many online books as well.
They offer quilting classes, a free notary public certain times
of the day, free chicksaw puzzles, classes in language as
an English as a second language in other languages, and
(13:22):
many other courses. And that's just my little public library.
Go to your local public library and see what classes
they offer, and if it doesn't exist, offer to teach one.
Maybe you're an expert on tax expice, maybe you're an
expert on social media. Maybe you're an expert on changing
(13:43):
your life and writing new chapter. Maybe you're an expert
on learning to declutter. I've done all those things, and
libraries would love to hear from you, and you can
go in and teach and really make yourself relevant in
a different way. I've actually thought about taking this show
Fearless Fabulous Shoe and changing it all together, because I've
(14:05):
been doing it for twelve years. Is it still relevant?
I don't know. You tell me. I've actually thought about
changing it to address a common problem many people have.
Many people have, and we're going through it right now,
where you're like, what to do with all the stuff
that you have accumulated over the years, and does any
of it have any value? Why not create like antiques
(14:27):
road show, but just make it everyday row show, not
just antiques, and evaluate stuff as it come in. I'm
a member of probably four or five groups that are
you know, vintage jewelry, civil war books, vintage clothes, with
people who, inherit addicts worth of stuff, don't know what
there's value in it and just need someone to guide them.
(14:49):
I think it'd be so much fun. If you think
that's you agree, shoot me on Instagram about that at
Melanie Fabulous. I'd love to hear from you, because I
think it's an opportunity again keeping adaptable, aware, curious, and useful.
We just you know, teaching a class, mentoring. If you
(15:13):
can afford not to work, I love you. You're awesome.
I would love to be you. I still have to work.
It's getting harder to find jobs at pay well or
consulting gigs, but consulting is always a way to do it,
and you can mentor people. They're are wonderful mentoring networks
where you can take your skills and your knowledge and
(15:35):
mentor someone. I was so honored this week because one
of my former staff members I don't leave a call
them staff. They were part of my team at my
New York events and public relations agency and Young Communications,
which I ran for over twenty years. She has succeeded
(15:56):
me in a very big position running the James Spear
Foundation Awards, which I started and ran in New York
for the first sixteen years. Down was my executive assistant.
She was great, worked for me for wow, probably seventeen
or eighteen of my twenty cent years running my company,
(16:17):
and a couple of years ago she got tapped to
become the vice president of the James Bard Awards. I
was happy for her. Some people said, are you upset
she took your job? Well, no, my job was eliminated
a long time ago. She took the role, and I'm
very happy for her. Why because I want to see
people that I meant bored in my career succeed Dawn
(16:40):
did a speech. She called me and said, I want
to talk to you about it. And she read what
she was going to say, and she basically was asked
to do a speech. I'm mentoring and she gave me
credit for being her mentor and helping her be where
she is today. And I have to tell you of
all the things I've achieved, starting the James Bard Awards,
starting Restaurant Week for the City of New York, running
a successful company, helping raise lots and lots of money,
(17:03):
millions of dollars for charities, working with Condie ass publications,
and producing events all around the country. You name it,
I did it. It's awesome. My biggest achievement is mentoring
people and seeing them succeed and move on to do
great things. I think that's something to think about, which
(17:23):
brings me back to being relevant. So I've been talking
about why it's important to be relevant. People want you
to be relevant so you can get a job, stay
relevant business, make sure that you are growing and expanding
both mentally, financially, in community, whatever. Relevancy is so important
(17:44):
as long as you're alive. However, I also have to say,
is it always important to be relative? Is that like
the end all of all things? And I have to
say no. I thought about that as well, because something
happened recently to me, well, a couple of things. I
used to cringe and still do it. The word formally,
(18:08):
I hate it, or you used to be or I
formally was, or I once was, because it makes it
sound like you aren't relevant. And someone said to me,
I was interviewed for a podcast on food, and she said,
you used to be really big. You used to be
a big force. And I said, I'm still big and
(18:31):
grown in a force in a different way because I'm
fearless and I'm still here. So never use the word
formally or used to be or once was. Always give
people credit for everything they did in their past, but
lift them up and say she's amazing all the things
(18:53):
she has done in her life and continues to be so,
because nothing makes someone feel less and relevant when you
discount them and say she was formerly or you used
to be. I'll never forgot I referenced it earlier I
was in New York because happened with the same guy twice.
He works for Wine Spectator, and a couple of years ago,
(19:15):
I had lost a lot of business, which is painful.
It happens in business. You take the good with the bad,
the crap with the crud with the great, And he said,
are you still in the business, you o beg. That's
the first said you're still in this business, yo bag?
And I said, are you still in your fart? And
(19:38):
we laughed snickered. Many years later, like last year twenty
twenty four, I saw him again in New York. I
was up there for a big wine event, the New
York Wine Experience, and he said, you're still in the business.
And I was waiting for the old Beg. I said, yeah,
and apparently you are too, because we're at the same event. Anyway,
(20:02):
Just be careful what you tread on people and what
you say to them, because it can make people feel
less than relevant or less fabulous if you say formally
or used to be. Always build people up if they
were formally and maybe they're retired and maybe they're working
to rewire, which many of my friends are. Say this
(20:22):
person is amazing. She has done so much to help
her industry or move people forward. You must meet her.
Don't say she used to. And if you are retiring, gosh,
you are the luckiest person on earth. If you're retiring
and you have all that time on your hand to
come up with things you want to do or not.
But what I don't want you to do if you
(20:44):
are retiring is say I got to stay relevant if
you don't want to, which brings me to is staying
relevant always necessary? I don't think so, and I know
a lot of people will disagree with me. But sometimes
you just don't need to keep up with the jones anymore.
You don't need to do anything to connect and impress
(21:05):
or stay relevant because maybe you just want to be
who you are and enjoy the life you have. And
that's fine too. It's perfectly fine too, as long as
you're happy because you don't measure you need to measure
up to anyone. You don't need to measure up to
(21:28):
anyone in their expectations. You just need to measure up
into yourself and say, I am who I am, and
I like who I am. Just fine, and that's okay,
it's perfectly My mother was like that. My mother the
purple Lady. This is one of her paintings. This is
one of her outfits. She was the purple Lady. Son Yah,
(21:50):
That's who she was. She was a personality. She was
worried more about her legacy than her relevancy. She remained
firm and who she was, and if she didn't want
to do something, she didn't do it, and if she
wanted to learn it, she did. She was a voracious reader.
She loved raising money for charities. She loved doing the
things that sang to her soul. But it didn't sing
(22:13):
to her soul and didn't seem relevant to her life,
she went interested. She was more worried about legacy. How
will people remember me when we live on? Which is
another reason I'm doing this show, because at the end
of the day, at the end of your life, is
being relevant really matter. My mother in law, Sally Ransom,
(22:36):
died a little over a week ago September fifth, twenty
twenty five. David and I were in Maui having a
wonderful vacation where we didn't drink, we didn't do emails,
we didn't do any work. We just completely detached, detox
and I don't like the work they talk, so we
detached and just lived in the moment, read books, did
(22:58):
all the things we loved doing without worrying about it,
and I encourage everybody to do that. Sometime we got
the news that Sally had passed in her sleep, she
was ninety three. Wasn't unexpected, but it's still a death
and the death of a maternal figure. And for Dave
and I the last parent my parents are dead and
now both his parents are dead, so we kind of
(23:18):
sunk in and we both let it sink in differently.
And Chris my instinct, because it's just my instinct as
a writer and an event person and someone who's always
coming up with things as like when's the obituary coming up?
Because the first thing I did when my best friend
Julie died, I wrote her obituary. I wrote my mother's
(23:41):
obituary while she was still alive because she was a
control feecuse she wanted to make sure she wanted to
make sure she knew what people were saying about her.
My mother and I wrote my dad's obituary together. Were
Pituaries to me are a beautiful tribute to someone's life.
Obituary is like saying the final word about somebody. It's
a testament they were and why they were here on
(24:01):
this earth and how you want to remember them. I
am the biggest obituary reader. I'd like to be an
obituary writer. I read the obituaries of the New York Times,
love them. I'd like to write obituaries. I don't think
it's I don't think it's negative. I think it's a
very positive thing. You're honoring someone's life. So I said,
(24:22):
where's the obituary going to appear? Because she'd lived different places,
And the response was from one of the brothers, there's
not going to be an obituary. She didn't really have
any friends left, and I let that sink in because
many of us may outlive our friends. It made me
(24:43):
think about how many friends do I have left now?
I've moved, I've moved four times, I have different friends
in different places. Will they remember me or mine? But
my mind started tail spinning with that about not having
a final word, not sewing things up with words. So
I sat down and wrote, when I wrote something on
(25:06):
my substacks, somewhat attribute to Sally, but more about a visit,
a remembrance of our final visit to see her in
Palm Beach, which she loved, And it was it was
purely in my voice, because I would never want to
write the obituary of someone's mother without being asked. But
it made me think about writing my own eventuary, and
(25:27):
it more importantly made me think about relevancy. Because even
if you outlash your friends or family, even if you're
no longer working and making an income or have an
identity of a work identity, even if you're not a
member of a church, even if you've moved in your
(25:49):
living in a living, independent living, whatever you never want
to outlive. You know, does relevancy even matter? Does it
really matter? What really matters is who you were and
your character and the beautiful life you graced on this earth,
(26:12):
and the contributions you made and the family raised and
the friends you nourished, and the personality and the joy
you brought, and the joy you brought to others, and
the companionship to your loved ones, and the caring care
you gave to your children and your friends and family,
and the joy you had in doing things, whether it
(26:32):
was traveling, playing tennis, riding horses, collecting jewelry, art, whatever.
At the other day, I think that deserves a wonderful tribute.
It's not about whether you're relevant in life anymore or not.
I don't think being relevant really matters. When the end
(26:52):
is near. It really matters you've had a great life
and everyone deserves to be recognized, whether you agree with
him or not. You know, this same week, we had
a controversial person who was murdered. I don't want to
get into it because I try really hard to stay
(27:13):
out of political discussions. Whether you agree with this person
or not, he was murdered, and murdered is bad, murdered
is wrong, And whether you agree with or not, and
whether you felt that person was relevant or not, that
person still had a life and a family and has
an obituary and deserve, you know, will be remembered. And
(27:35):
it's like that with many people. You may not choose
to remember everybody or consider them part of the world
you want to live in, but they still remade relevant
for what they did and they touched people's lives. The
one thing in this AI thing an AI is something
I'm learning yourself, you know, they said. The key aspects
is saying relevant or an adaptability, continued learning, awareness, usefulness,
(28:01):
everybody's useful, and innovation. I think it's also important that
relevancy means that you lived the best life you could.
You brought joy to others and lived in joy yourself,
and everything you did was relevant because you did it
(28:22):
with purpose. The one thing they don't have in here AI,
because AI is not perfect, is purpose. And I think
relevant being relevant is having purpose. And your purpose and
my purpose may be different. Your purpose may be simple.
I just want to be healthy, be with my family,
(28:46):
get Thanksgiving dinner ready, and have people over, take walks
every day. And other people may say, no, I want
my purpose. I want to start a charity, I want
to save the world, I want to feed children, I
want to start a new business. Everybody has different levels
and types of purpose, and they're all good because it's purpose.
(29:10):
And to me, purpose is more important than relevancy and relevant.
Being relevant to me means having purpose. I don't think
you could be relevant unless you have purpose. What is
the purpose? So I want you to think about that
because if anyone ever says to you that's irrelevant, it's
(29:32):
no longer relevant. You need to be ready with a
response to say, but I have purpose and I have
a presence, and that is relevant. You know. I think
it's really important because a lot of people start to
feel a little blue, and they feel like being aged
out and locked out, and life is getting shorter. A
(29:54):
good friend dies or something terrible happens in the news,
and I think you have to do this like mental
reset about purpose and passion and reset it and maybe
turn off. You know, there's a zillion podcasts out there.
By the way, I'm staying relevant. Mine is not about that.
(30:18):
This particular topic is about it because it was top
of mind because things happened in the world and in
my life that made me think about relevancy and what's
the point. What's the point when you're all going to
go down the same path anyway? Well, I think the
point is making the journey better and making it more purposeful.
(30:41):
And by doing that, as I said, you will believe
in being more relevant if you choose to want to
have that feeling and people will see it. And if
anyone discounts you in any other way and says you're
no longer irrelevant, you need to be able to say,
either screw you or you're so wrong, and let me
(31:03):
correct that, because you should stand up for yourself when
people try to, you know, say you're not relevant anyway. Again,
if you're in business, this is a whole other topic.
You've got to stay relevant to adapt to market changes.
It's a whole nother discussion I'm really talking about it
(31:24):
in our personal life anyway. I'm gonna leave you with
something I've been doing frequently for some of them, again,
remind you. A lot of this is discussed in my
book Fearless, Fabulous You lessons on living life on your Terms.
(31:45):
This is my blatant promotion for my book. I have
a section It basically says, how to say fearless and
fabulous at every age and stage of your life so
you feel purposeful and relevant. One is to recharge your
mental batteries and rethink what you think about yourself and
(32:05):
your purpose. We value your own self worth because when
people say you're irrelevant, they're really carving down your self
worth and that's not fair. Release negative energy and thoughts
that are self defeating, like I can't, I shouldn't, I mustn't,
(32:26):
I don't have the skills, I don't have the money,
blah blah blah, you know, release it and expand your
mind to see opportunities. The great Audrey Hepburn said, I
don't believe in an impossibility because impossibility can also be
seen as I'm possible, impossible, I'm possible, I'm possible. Reconnect,
(32:48):
Reconnect with your amazing talents and repurpose them. Repurpose so
if you're a good speaker, you're a good writer, you're
a good trainer, maybe get out your industry. Maybe you
have aged out of your industry, or maybe you're no
longer relevant your industry because honestly, you're not doing anything
(33:09):
that your industry cares about or utilizes anymore. That just happens.
Remember codec and the good old land cameras. Everybody now
has an iPhone that's an example, or the or the
BlackBerry or the data processor. You know, sometimes things just
do get phased out, aged out and replaced. So you
(33:33):
don't want to be fully replaced or irrelevant. So have
your skill set brushed up. Take new classes, learn new things,
and apply them to different industries and audiences. Reframe the
vision of what you want to have happen. If it's
not working, if something's not working, a relationship with job,
(33:54):
a situation where you're living, reframe it. Do a vision
board and say this is where I want to be next.
I did that. I did a vision board. I ended
up in the husband Valley. Loved it. Then I said
it wasn't for me anymore. I did another vision board
sold my house, some possessions. Wanted to be debt free,
stress free, life free. Lived on the road for two
(34:14):
years that way, almost two years. Then I had to
go home take care of my mom. It was inedible.
Who else was going to do it. I'm an only child,
she was a widow, she needed help. I was there
for her, did it for almost two years. She died
inhered a house sold the house. Didn't know how to
do in a stay sale, but taught myself to do
(34:36):
it because I didn't want to. Nobody would work with
us because the house was so cluttered, so I had
to learn something fast, kind of like doing it now.
I love going to state sales and now I'm in
New Orleans. Had another vision board. Where do I love
to be? It's fun, less stressful, lots of friends and
some family here. I am so refrain. Think about the
(34:59):
possible belief. You're not stuck unless you make yourself stuck. Lastly,
reclaim your brilliance and say I own it. Own who
you are and your identity. Own who you are and
your identity. I'm going to say that's lower and you're
amazing you. And never ever let people make you feel
like you're irrelevant. Right. So that's the book, Fearless, Fabulous
(35:22):
You lessons on living left in your terms. You can
get it on Amazon, you can write me. I have
about two hundred in my closet about autograph them for
you there. I'm selling them for eight dollars Melanie Melanie
Young dot com. So that's my diatrab as they say,
on relevancy and staying relevant and whether it's visit matter
(35:48):
curiod in life. What matters more than being relevant is
having great character and being a person with great character
and a person with great manners. So with that mind,
leave you with something I say to myself. It was
I think, dear Abby, Dear Abby, dear Abby, or Anne
(36:08):
Lander is one of them, Abby, and you know they
were sisters. Wrote and my mother put on my pillow
one night when I was fighting with her. I was
fighting with her bestself, fight with her a lot, and
she put it on my pillow and I read it,
and I read it again, and I read it to
myself all the time. In fact, I've read it to
(36:29):
myself so much I don't think I can read it here.
I think I know it by heart, and just bear
with me if I screw it up. But it goes
like this. What is class? Class never runs scared. It
is surefooted that it can meet life head on and
handle what comes along. Class never makes mistakes, Oh no,
(36:55):
Class never makes excuses. It takes its umps and learns
from past mistakes to move on. Class is considerate of others.
It knows that good manners is nothing more than a
series of petty sacrifices. Everybody wants to feel better. Manners matter.
(37:24):
Class bespeaks an aristocracy that has nothing to do with
ancestry or wealth. The descendants of a royalty can lack
class true class, while the descendants of a Tennessee or
(37:44):
Kentucky coal miner may use class from every pore. It's
how you treat people, how you make them feel. Class
never builds itself up by tearing others down. Class is
already up and need not strive to look better by
(38:09):
making others look worse. Class can walk with kings and
keep its virtue, and talk with crowds and keep the
tom in touch. Everyone is comfortable with the person who
(38:29):
has class because she is comfortable with herself and her
own skin, and wants to make you feel that way.
If you have class, all the money in the world
that you have doesn't matter. And know, if you have
all the money in the world, if you don't have class,
it doesn't matter either. You can't buy class. You have
(38:52):
to have class. You have to be class, you have
to earn class. It's inherent. It's in how you treat people,
how you see yourself, and how you have an outlook
on the world. So I hope you're top of your
class and you never lose it, and you never lose
your spirit, your fearless, fabulous spirit, and you never ever
(39:13):
let anyone make you feel anything less than fabulous because
you're always relevant. If you look at yourself, and if
you ever have any doubts, just look in the mirror.
This is what I did in my worst days during
chemotherapy or when I was dealing with horrible clients. I
would just look in the mirror and I would say
that class. I would say that class speech to myself,
(39:39):
and I would look at myself and say, hey, Melanie,
here's the fearless, fabulous shoe. And I say that to you. Now,
here's the fearless fabulous chew. You. You have choices in
life on how you want to live. Hopefully many maybe
a few, but always choose to live on your terms
and not be limited by the terms people set for you.
(40:02):
And always choose, no matter what, to have class, exude class,
and be fearless and fabulous. Thank you for joining me
on this episode, a fearless, fabulous you
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We make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
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explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN
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(00:20):
be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
W four WN Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hello, and welcome to Fearless Fabulous. You. I am your host,
Melanie Young. Thank you so much for joining me today
on W four WN, the Women for Women Network. You
can hear all my podcasts anytime anywhere on over sixty
five channels, and I invite you to follow me at
Melanie Fabulous. I created the show to help women make
(01:03):
better choices in their life about self care, how they
want to live, who they want to live with, and
how they want to live the best of their life
the rest of their life. It started after I was
diagnosed for breast cancer early stage I'm Okay, underwent treatment
and surgery and reconstruction, and then had this solid like
(01:26):
what am I doing with the rest of my life?
Because when you go through major life upheavals and in
what cancer is just one of them, you kind of
do a hard mental reset what I want to do
with the rest of their life. I talk to a
lot of women about this, and that's why I created Fearless,
Fabulous You, because I do believe you can be fabulous
(01:46):
at every stage and eight your life, and sometimes you
may need to change and adapt accordingly. So the focus
of today's show is the term staying relevant. All the time,
I talk to women all the time. They don't feel relevant.
How can they stay relevant? What's the point of being relevant?
(02:07):
Are there things that are irrelevant in your life? What
is the term relevant? Well? I did a lot of
looking it up and to prepare for this show, and
good Old AI says to stay relevant means to continue
being useful, important, or significant over time by adapting to
(02:33):
changing circumstances, such as learning new skills, staying informed about
current trends and demands, possibly acquiring new knowledge or skill
sets for career growth or business development and expansion and scaling.
It may mean understanding customer needs and a changing audience
(02:56):
as perhaps your audience age is out and a younger
our audience coming is coming. In Gosh, the wine world,
the wine industry or industry I'm very closely affiliated with,
they're trying to deal with that now. Is wine consumption
is down among younger consumers. People over fifty, You're still
enjoying their wine, but nobody's talking to them because the
(03:16):
assumption is are going to die seriously. But people are
trying to figure out how wine can stay relevant among
young wine drinkers, How can certain shows stay relevant. It
goes on and on and on, and it's not just
about business, although it seems to be. It's also about life.
(03:39):
The key signs of staying relevant, and then we're going
to tell you about why it even matters, because really
I've been wondering that for about a couple of weeks now.
The key aspects of staying relevant are being adaptive. Now
that's actually also important as you age, if you want
to really show off your signs of being an old
fart or an old bag, whichever I've been I call
(04:02):
my husband o fart, and I've been called an o bag,
and I've said, oh fart back to the person who
called me an o bag uh. You've got to be adaptive.
If you're set in your ways and say this is
the way it's always been done, or this is the
way I always want to do it, or this is
the way we've done it forever, you're not showing flexibility
and adaptability. You're being rigid, much like your body. If
(04:27):
you don't move your body and stretch your body and
test your body, your body will become rigid, and that's
not good for your health well. Being rigid in your
attitude and not being flexible in how you think about
things and approach things. This is about not stretching and
flexing your body. You're you're not moving your mental muscle
(04:49):
very well, and you will appear to lack relevancy. People
will go old, old school, old time. Move on, let's
get something fresh and younger to think about it. You
know you're going to get replaced if you're at work
in a job, so adaptability is really important. It's also
(05:13):
adaptability challenges your inquisitivity. People who are interested in staying
relevant adaptable are also inquisitive. They're curious, they like to
learn new things. Continuous learning is another sign and aspect
of staying relevant acquiring new knowledge, stretching your mind, not
(05:36):
just saying I want to do the same old thing. Honestly,
I think every day about things I want to take
up today. Today I was taking a morning walk because
I do believe that every morning my body is stiff
as a board, and the only thing that gets it
going along with my mind is moving. So I move
every morning, whether it's swimming, walking, biking, yoga, I get
(06:02):
my mind and body moving. What I like about swimming
and walking is while I'm walking, I'm thinking. I was
actually talking to myself preparing for this show while I
was walking today. But I passed some stables that are
near me in City Park in beautiful New Orleans where
we lived, and I saw two people riding horses, and
I thought to myself, Wow, I lived so close to
(06:24):
these beautiful stables. Why don't I take writing lessons. Why
don't I try riding a horse. I've kind of been
scared of horses ever since Christopher Reed had a terrible
accent the actor. For a very brief millisecond, I took
up writing to impress one of my British boyfriends. You
dump me, so I quit writing. But I thought it's
(06:45):
here take it up. Further down on my walk, I
saw these beautiful tennis courts. I used to play tennis
as a young girl, and I quit slowly after my
messc to me. My hands and my upper body just
was strong. But I've tried pickleball, and I said, why
am I not taking pickleball lessons and really getting back
(07:06):
on the court. I walked a little further and I
started thinking about well, I made a mental list. I
literally made a mental bucket list. You know, you have
bucket lists of travel. God knows I have lots of those,
and I've been fortunate to you know, check off a
lot of my travel bucket list. But I made a
mental bucket list of things I want to learn, skills.
(07:30):
I want to acquire things I want to learn or
I die, and I hopefully I have a couple more
years left, but you never know, right, So I made
a list, and I'd like to learn how to design jewelry.
I'd like to understand artificial intelligence, master it, because that
is important if you want to stay relevant in the workplace.
(07:52):
I like the idea of learning a vintage jewelry because
it's something that interests me and I've been starting to
sell it. I inherited a lot of vintage jewelry. I
love to go to estate sales. I love to study it.
I happen to love vintage jewelry to sell to wear,
and also I'd like to take an art course to
learn how to take vintage jewelry and put it into artwork,
(08:13):
either wearable clothing or framed art. I was at an
exhibit in New Orleans for Street Festival and I saw
this beautiful piece of art made a vintage jewelry, and
it inspired me. I want to do more with my hands.
I've started making granola and I thought, Wow, wouldn't it
(08:34):
be great to try to start a line of granola
and just sell it at local street fars. I think
you see where I'm going with this. The idea is
that I'm open to learning new things, and I have
made a mental bucket list to do it, and I'm
encouraging you to do the same thing. Make a mental
bucket list of things you'd like to continue learning. It
(08:56):
can also be reading. It could be I'd like to
read the Financial Times every day. I'd like to master investing.
I'd like to do that too. I've started reading more
financial newsletters, the thing is if you do this, you
are keeping your mind open and you're keeping yourself relevant
if you choose to enter the workforce, or create a
(09:19):
consulting business, or do something as a side hustle, even
write about a topic that keeps you relevant. I would
love to write about wine for a senior magazine. I wrote,
actually this week, I wrote AARP magazine with a pitch
to create a wine column, because I think that would
(09:42):
be great to create a wine column to talk to
people who know one is talking to. And I don't
think people are talking to people are fifty about wine.
They're too busy wringing their hands trying to figure out
how to reach young people. I think you see where
going anything is possible, and everything is possible if you
decide you want to do it and put your mind
to it. I don't think can't is part of the language.
(10:06):
Can is possible. You can do it if you choose.
And the obstacles like I don't have money, Okay, so
I don't have money to sign up for this course
or this writing program. But there are a zillion meetups.
Go to meetup. There's meetups in your neighborhood, there's meetups online,
type in the type of thing you want to learn
(10:27):
about or connect with people about. You'll find people in
meetups and they're usually free. Another one, believe or not.
I was taking a bike ride over the weekend. I
finally got back on my bike. It had been a
while because I have an issue with riding bikes because
I had a bad fall little girl, So every time
I get on it, I'm petrified someone's going to hit me.
(10:48):
I'm going to go over. A very dear friend of
mine just had a bike accident, was wearing a helmet.
She's okay, but she hurt her shoulder. All those things
trigger my fear of riding a bike. So I got
back on that damn bike and I rode the bike
down to Cafe Dumont for a just amazing iced chilled
(11:09):
cafe ol a at Cafe Dumont. If you ever come
to New Orleans, you must do that. Cafe Dumont, ice coffee,
Cafe Ola and Begnets. And while I was there, I
saw a group of young girls with yoga mats, and
I said, because I also asked questions and talk to everybody,
which is another way to glean information, I said, where
are you doing yoga? Around here, and is it free
(11:31):
and they said, yes, we do a freek with yoga
over and they showed me. We're in the bandstand in
Beautiful City Park and I thought, wow, I'd love to
do that. It's free, it's yoga and it keeps me moving.
And I said where did you learn about it? Because
I'm always curious where to learn about things, and they said,
Reddit r E D D it. Now, if you're not
(11:51):
on Reddit, maybe it's time to get on Reddit because
there's a lot of people there sharing a lot of information.
Which brings me back to technology. If you want to
stay elevant and you want to stay connected, you better
master technology. You don't have to become a TikTok star.
You don't have to be like constantly posting on Instagram
or whatever. But it helps a whole lot. You become
(12:15):
savvy about technology and how it can help you make
your life easier, inform you and keep you relevant. So
maybe take a class you know. Another great source says
meet up and read It is AARP. AARP has a
lot of classes if you're a member. Also, this is
(12:39):
great one if you're not a member of aa Prarie.
I've been a member of aarp forever. I wish they'd
hire me to write a y column. Here's another great
resource for learning and expanding your mind that is often
free or low cost, your public library. My local public library,
which I go to every week because I love checking
(13:00):
out library books. I'm a good old fashioned book reader,
even though I do have many online books as well.
They offer quilting classes, a free notary public certain times
of the day, free chicksaw puzzles, classes in language as
an English as a second language in other languages, and
(13:22):
many other courses. And that's just my little public library.
Go to your local public library and see what classes
they offer, and if it doesn't exist, offer to teach one.
Maybe you're an expert on tax expice, maybe you're an
expert on social media. Maybe you're an expert on changing
(13:43):
your life and writing new chapter. Maybe you're an expert
on learning to declutter. I've done all those things, and
libraries would love to hear from you, and you can
go in and teach and really make yourself relevant in
a different way. I've actually thought about taking this show
Fearless Fabulous Shoe and changing it all together, because I've
(14:05):
been doing it for twelve years. Is it still relevant?
I don't know. You tell me. I've actually thought about
changing it to address a common problem many people have.
Many people have, and we're going through it right now,
where you're like, what to do with all the stuff
that you have accumulated over the years, and does any
of it have any value? Why not create like antiques
(14:27):
road show, but just make it everyday row show, not
just antiques, and evaluate stuff as it come in. I'm
a member of probably four or five groups that are
you know, vintage jewelry, civil war books, vintage clothes, with
people who, inherit addicts worth of stuff, don't know what
there's value in it and just need someone to guide them.
(14:49):
I think it'd be so much fun. If you think
that's you agree, shoot me on Instagram about that at
Melanie Fabulous. I'd love to hear from you, because I
think it's an opportunity again keeping adaptable, aware, curious, and useful.
We just you know, teaching a class, mentoring. If you
(15:13):
can afford not to work, I love you. You're awesome.
I would love to be you. I still have to work.
It's getting harder to find jobs at pay well or
consulting gigs, but consulting is always a way to do it,
and you can mentor people. They're are wonderful mentoring networks
where you can take your skills and your knowledge and
(15:35):
mentor someone. I was so honored this week because one
of my former staff members I don't leave a call
them staff. They were part of my team at my
New York events and public relations agency and Young Communications,
which I ran for over twenty years. She has succeeded
(15:56):
me in a very big position running the James Spear
Foundation Awards, which I started and ran in New York
for the first sixteen years. Down was my executive assistant.
She was great, worked for me for wow, probably seventeen
or eighteen of my twenty cent years running my company,
(16:17):
and a couple of years ago she got tapped to
become the vice president of the James Bard Awards. I
was happy for her. Some people said, are you upset
she took your job? Well, no, my job was eliminated
a long time ago. She took the role, and I'm
very happy for her. Why because I want to see
people that I meant bored in my career succeed Dawn
(16:40):
did a speech. She called me and said, I want
to talk to you about it. And she read what
she was going to say, and she basically was asked
to do a speech. I'm mentoring and she gave me
credit for being her mentor and helping her be where
she is today. And I have to tell you of
all the things I've achieved, starting the James Bard Awards,
starting Restaurant Week for the City of New York, running
a successful company, helping raise lots and lots of money,
(17:03):
millions of dollars for charities, working with Condie ass publications,
and producing events all around the country. You name it,
I did it. It's awesome. My biggest achievement is mentoring
people and seeing them succeed and move on to do
great things. I think that's something to think about, which
(17:23):
brings me back to being relevant. So I've been talking
about why it's important to be relevant. People want you
to be relevant so you can get a job, stay
relevant business, make sure that you are growing and expanding
both mentally, financially, in community, whatever. Relevancy is so important
(17:44):
as long as you're alive. However, I also have to say,
is it always important to be relative? Is that like
the end all of all things? And I have to
say no. I thought about that as well, because something
happened recently to me, well, a couple of things. I
used to cringe and still do it. The word formally,
(18:08):
I hate it, or you used to be or I
formally was, or I once was, because it makes it
sound like you aren't relevant. And someone said to me,
I was interviewed for a podcast on food, and she said,
you used to be really big. You used to be
a big force. And I said, I'm still big and
(18:31):
grown in a force in a different way because I'm
fearless and I'm still here. So never use the word
formally or used to be or once was. Always give
people credit for everything they did in their past, but
lift them up and say she's amazing all the things
(18:53):
she has done in her life and continues to be so,
because nothing makes someone feel less and relevant when you
discount them and say she was formerly or you used
to be. I'll never forgot I referenced it earlier I
was in New York because happened with the same guy twice.
He works for Wine Spectator, and a couple of years ago,
(19:15):
I had lost a lot of business, which is painful.
It happens in business. You take the good with the bad,
the crap with the crud with the great, And he said,
are you still in the business, you o beg. That's
the first said you're still in this business, yo bag?
And I said, are you still in your fart? And
(19:38):
we laughed snickered. Many years later, like last year twenty
twenty four, I saw him again in New York. I
was up there for a big wine event, the New
York Wine Experience, and he said, you're still in the business.
And I was waiting for the old Beg. I said, yeah,
and apparently you are too, because we're at the same event. Anyway,
(20:02):
Just be careful what you tread on people and what
you say to them, because it can make people feel
less than relevant or less fabulous if you say formally
or used to be. Always build people up if they
were formally and maybe they're retired and maybe they're working
to rewire, which many of my friends are. Say this
(20:22):
person is amazing. She has done so much to help
her industry or move people forward. You must meet her.
Don't say she used to. And if you are retiring, gosh,
you are the luckiest person on earth. If you're retiring
and you have all that time on your hand to
come up with things you want to do or not.
But what I don't want you to do if you
(20:44):
are retiring is say I got to stay relevant if
you don't want to, which brings me to is staying
relevant always necessary? I don't think so, and I know
a lot of people will disagree with me. But sometimes
you just don't need to keep up with the jones anymore.
You don't need to do anything to connect and impress
(21:05):
or stay relevant because maybe you just want to be
who you are and enjoy the life you have. And
that's fine too. It's perfectly fine too, as long as
you're happy because you don't measure you need to measure
up to anyone. You don't need to measure up to
(21:28):
anyone in their expectations. You just need to measure up
into yourself and say, I am who I am, and
I like who I am. Just fine, and that's okay,
it's perfectly My mother was like that. My mother the
purple Lady. This is one of her paintings. This is
one of her outfits. She was the purple Lady. Son Yah,
(21:50):
That's who she was. She was a personality. She was
worried more about her legacy than her relevancy. She remained
firm and who she was, and if she didn't want
to do something, she didn't do it, and if she
wanted to learn it, she did. She was a voracious reader.
She loved raising money for charities. She loved doing the
things that sang to her soul. But it didn't sing
(22:13):
to her soul and didn't seem relevant to her life,
she went interested. She was more worried about legacy. How
will people remember me when we live on? Which is
another reason I'm doing this show, because at the end
of the day, at the end of your life, is
being relevant really matter. My mother in law, Sally Ransom,
(22:36):
died a little over a week ago September fifth, twenty
twenty five. David and I were in Maui having a
wonderful vacation where we didn't drink, we didn't do emails,
we didn't do any work. We just completely detached, detox
and I don't like the work they talk, so we
detached and just lived in the moment, read books, did
(22:58):
all the things we loved doing without worrying about it,
and I encourage everybody to do that. Sometime we got
the news that Sally had passed in her sleep, she
was ninety three. Wasn't unexpected, but it's still a death
and the death of a maternal figure. And for Dave
and I the last parent my parents are dead and
now both his parents are dead, so we kind of
(23:18):
sunk in and we both let it sink in differently.
And Chris my instinct, because it's just my instinct as
a writer and an event person and someone who's always
coming up with things as like when's the obituary coming up?
Because the first thing I did when my best friend
Julie died, I wrote her obituary. I wrote my mother's
(23:41):
obituary while she was still alive because she was a
control feecuse she wanted to make sure she wanted to
make sure she knew what people were saying about her.
My mother and I wrote my dad's obituary together. Were
Pituaries to me are a beautiful tribute to someone's life.
Obituary is like saying the final word about somebody. It's
a testament they were and why they were here on
(24:01):
this earth and how you want to remember them. I
am the biggest obituary reader. I'd like to be an
obituary writer. I read the obituaries of the New York Times,
love them. I'd like to write obituaries. I don't think
it's I don't think it's negative. I think it's a
very positive thing. You're honoring someone's life. So I said,
(24:22):
where's the obituary going to appear? Because she'd lived different places,
And the response was from one of the brothers, there's
not going to be an obituary. She didn't really have
any friends left, and I let that sink in because
many of us may outlive our friends. It made me
(24:43):
think about how many friends do I have left now?
I've moved, I've moved four times, I have different friends
in different places. Will they remember me or mine? But
my mind started tail spinning with that about not having
a final word, not sewing things up with words. So
I sat down and wrote, when I wrote something on
(25:06):
my substacks, somewhat attribute to Sally, but more about a visit,
a remembrance of our final visit to see her in
Palm Beach, which she loved, And it was it was
purely in my voice, because I would never want to
write the obituary of someone's mother without being asked. But
it made me think about writing my own eventuary, and
(25:27):
it more importantly made me think about relevancy. Because even
if you outlash your friends or family, even if you're
no longer working and making an income or have an
identity of a work identity, even if you're not a
member of a church, even if you've moved in your
(25:49):
living in a living, independent living, whatever you never want
to outlive. You know, does relevancy even matter? Does it
really matter? What really matters is who you were and
your character and the beautiful life you graced on this earth,
(26:12):
and the contributions you made and the family raised and
the friends you nourished, and the personality and the joy
you brought, and the joy you brought to others, and
the companionship to your loved ones, and the caring care
you gave to your children and your friends and family,
and the joy you had in doing things, whether it
(26:32):
was traveling, playing tennis, riding horses, collecting jewelry, art, whatever.
At the other day, I think that deserves a wonderful tribute.
It's not about whether you're relevant in life anymore or not.
I don't think being relevant really matters. When the end
(26:52):
is near. It really matters you've had a great life
and everyone deserves to be recognized, whether you agree with
him or not. You know, this same week, we had
a controversial person who was murdered. I don't want to
get into it because I try really hard to stay
(27:13):
out of political discussions. Whether you agree with this person
or not, he was murdered, and murdered is bad, murdered
is wrong, And whether you agree with or not, and
whether you felt that person was relevant or not, that
person still had a life and a family and has
an obituary and deserve, you know, will be remembered. And
(27:35):
it's like that with many people. You may not choose
to remember everybody or consider them part of the world
you want to live in, but they still remade relevant
for what they did and they touched people's lives. The
one thing in this AI thing an AI is something
I'm learning yourself, you know, they said. The key aspects
is saying relevant or an adaptability, continued learning, awareness, usefulness,
(28:01):
everybody's useful, and innovation. I think it's also important that
relevancy means that you lived the best life you could.
You brought joy to others and lived in joy yourself,
and everything you did was relevant because you did it
(28:22):
with purpose. The one thing they don't have in here AI,
because AI is not perfect, is purpose. And I think
relevant being relevant is having purpose. And your purpose and
my purpose may be different. Your purpose may be simple.
I just want to be healthy, be with my family,
(28:46):
get Thanksgiving dinner ready, and have people over, take walks
every day. And other people may say, no, I want
my purpose. I want to start a charity, I want
to save the world, I want to feed children, I
want to start a new business. Everybody has different levels
and types of purpose, and they're all good because it's purpose.
(29:10):
And to me, purpose is more important than relevancy and relevant.
Being relevant to me means having purpose. I don't think
you could be relevant unless you have purpose. What is
the purpose? So I want you to think about that
because if anyone ever says to you that's irrelevant, it's
(29:32):
no longer relevant. You need to be ready with a
response to say, but I have purpose and I have
a presence, and that is relevant. You know. I think
it's really important because a lot of people start to
feel a little blue, and they feel like being aged
out and locked out, and life is getting shorter. A
(29:54):
good friend dies or something terrible happens in the news,
and I think you have to do this like mental
reset about purpose and passion and reset it and maybe
turn off. You know, there's a zillion podcasts out there.
By the way, I'm staying relevant. Mine is not about that.
(30:18):
This particular topic is about it because it was top
of mind because things happened in the world and in
my life that made me think about relevancy and what's
the point. What's the point when you're all going to
go down the same path anyway? Well, I think the
point is making the journey better and making it more purposeful.
(30:41):
And by doing that, as I said, you will believe
in being more relevant if you choose to want to
have that feeling and people will see it. And if
anyone discounts you in any other way and says you're
no longer irrelevant, you need to be able to say,
either screw you or you're so wrong, and let me
(31:03):
correct that, because you should stand up for yourself when
people try to, you know, say you're not relevant anyway. Again,
if you're in business, this is a whole other topic.
You've got to stay relevant to adapt to market changes.
It's a whole nother discussion I'm really talking about it
(31:24):
in our personal life anyway. I'm gonna leave you with
something I've been doing frequently for some of them, again,
remind you. A lot of this is discussed in my
book Fearless, Fabulous You lessons on living life on your Terms.
(31:45):
This is my blatant promotion for my book. I have
a section It basically says, how to say fearless and
fabulous at every age and stage of your life so
you feel purposeful and relevant. One is to recharge your
mental batteries and rethink what you think about yourself and
(32:05):
your purpose. We value your own self worth because when
people say you're irrelevant, they're really carving down your self
worth and that's not fair. Release negative energy and thoughts
that are self defeating, like I can't, I shouldn't, I mustn't,
(32:26):
I don't have the skills, I don't have the money,
blah blah blah, you know, release it and expand your
mind to see opportunities. The great Audrey Hepburn said, I
don't believe in an impossibility because impossibility can also be
seen as I'm possible, impossible, I'm possible, I'm possible. Reconnect,
(32:48):
Reconnect with your amazing talents and repurpose them. Repurpose so
if you're a good speaker, you're a good writer, you're
a good trainer, maybe get out your industry. Maybe you
have aged out of your industry, or maybe you're no
longer relevant your industry because honestly, you're not doing anything
(33:09):
that your industry cares about or utilizes anymore. That just happens.
Remember codec and the good old land cameras. Everybody now
has an iPhone that's an example, or the or the
BlackBerry or the data processor. You know, sometimes things just
do get phased out, aged out and replaced. So you
(33:33):
don't want to be fully replaced or irrelevant. So have
your skill set brushed up. Take new classes, learn new things,
and apply them to different industries and audiences. Reframe the
vision of what you want to have happen. If it's
not working, if something's not working, a relationship with job,
(33:54):
a situation where you're living, reframe it. Do a vision
board and say this is where I want to be next.
I did that. I did a vision board. I ended
up in the husband Valley. Loved it. Then I said
it wasn't for me anymore. I did another vision board
sold my house, some possessions. Wanted to be debt free,
stress free, life free. Lived on the road for two
(34:14):
years that way, almost two years. Then I had to
go home take care of my mom. It was inedible.
Who else was going to do it. I'm an only child,
she was a widow, she needed help. I was there
for her, did it for almost two years. She died
inhered a house sold the house. Didn't know how to
do in a stay sale, but taught myself to do
(34:36):
it because I didn't want to. Nobody would work with
us because the house was so cluttered, so I had
to learn something fast, kind of like doing it now.
I love going to state sales and now I'm in
New Orleans. Had another vision board. Where do I love
to be? It's fun, less stressful, lots of friends and
some family here. I am so refrain. Think about the
(34:59):
possible belief. You're not stuck unless you make yourself stuck. Lastly,
reclaim your brilliance and say I own it. Own who
you are and your identity. Own who you are and
your identity. I'm going to say that's lower and you're
amazing you. And never ever let people make you feel
like you're irrelevant. Right. So that's the book, Fearless, Fabulous
(35:22):
You lessons on living left in your terms. You can
get it on Amazon, you can write me. I have
about two hundred in my closet about autograph them for
you there. I'm selling them for eight dollars Melanie Melanie
Young dot com. So that's my diatrab as they say,
on relevancy and staying relevant and whether it's visit matter
(35:48):
curiod in life. What matters more than being relevant is
having great character and being a person with great character
and a person with great manners. So with that mind,
leave you with something I say to myself. It was
I think, dear Abby, Dear Abby, dear Abby, or Anne
(36:08):
Lander is one of them, Abby, and you know they
were sisters. Wrote and my mother put on my pillow
one night when I was fighting with her. I was
fighting with her bestself, fight with her a lot, and
she put it on my pillow and I read it,
and I read it again, and I read it to
myself all the time. In fact, I've read it to
(36:29):
myself so much I don't think I can read it here.
I think I know it by heart, and just bear
with me if I screw it up. But it goes
like this. What is class? Class never runs scared. It
is surefooted that it can meet life head on and
handle what comes along. Class never makes mistakes, Oh no,
(36:55):
Class never makes excuses. It takes its umps and learns
from past mistakes to move on. Class is considerate of others.
It knows that good manners is nothing more than a
series of petty sacrifices. Everybody wants to feel better. Manners matter.
(37:24):
Class bespeaks an aristocracy that has nothing to do with
ancestry or wealth. The descendants of a royalty can lack
class true class, while the descendants of a Tennessee or
(37:44):
Kentucky coal miner may use class from every pore. It's
how you treat people, how you make them feel. Class
never builds itself up by tearing others down. Class is
already up and need not strive to look better by
(38:09):
making others look worse. Class can walk with kings and
keep its virtue, and talk with crowds and keep the
tom in touch. Everyone is comfortable with the person who
(38:29):
has class because she is comfortable with herself and her
own skin, and wants to make you feel that way.
If you have class, all the money in the world
that you have doesn't matter. And know, if you have
all the money in the world, if you don't have class,
it doesn't matter either. You can't buy class. You have
(38:52):
to have class. You have to be class, you have
to earn class. It's inherent. It's in how you treat people,
how you see yourself, and how you have an outlook
on the world. So I hope you're top of your
class and you never lose it, and you never lose
your spirit, your fearless, fabulous spirit, and you never ever
(39:13):
let anyone make you feel anything less than fabulous because
you're always relevant. If you look at yourself, and if
you ever have any doubts, just look in the mirror.
This is what I did in my worst days during
chemotherapy or when I was dealing with horrible clients. I
would just look in the mirror and I would say
that class. I would say that class speech to myself,
(39:39):
and I would look at myself and say, hey, Melanie,
here's the fearless, fabulous shoe. And I say that to you. Now,
here's the fearless fabulous chew. You. You have choices in
life on how you want to live. Hopefully many maybe
a few, but always choose to live on your terms
and not be limited by the terms people set for you.
(40:02):
And always choose, no matter what, to have class, exude class,
and be fearless and fabulous. Thank you for joining me
on this episode, a fearless, fabulous you
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